Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Harry's True Self	By : yaoiboydaisuke Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 42735 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 8
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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AN: I had to edit the first chapter, I forgot to mention the code phrase for Sirius' memories. This chapter has been edited since it was first uploaded, a reviewer made a very good point.

Dudley had just come back from the hospital, he didn't know what happened to him, he didn't see the dementors; to him Harry had assaulted him and that mad him angry. He and Vernon decided Harry needed to be punished, Harry was no longer protected by his wizard school, he was expelled. They walked into Harry's room, the boy had just finished burning his letter, they saw the look of surprise as they entered the room. Moving onto the bed as fast as the meatball could, Dudley grabbed Harry's arms twisting them behind his back. “Can't use your magic now can you Potter!”

Harry struggled, he felt like he was about to vomit the moment Vernon's fist hit him in the gut. “Stop it!” he cried, but it was only answered with Dudley pulling his hair. Why did he have to keep living with these monsters, why had Ron and Hermione not owled him all summer, why had they not saved him this year, and why had they and Ron's family never tried to adopt him since they knew he was abused. The letter had started to open his mind more to all these questions, to be honest with himself, the only nice muggles he knew were Hermione's parents and he'd only met them once. Another punch to the stomach. His whole life all the muggles he'd met had been mean to him, Dudley's friends, the kids at school, everyone.

“Put him onto his stomach.” Vernon told Dudley, his son listened, flipping Harry onto his stomach with his arms under him. Dudley then used his weight to press on Harry's back to keep him down, Harry could feel his arms going numb. Something was different than their usual beatings, they had stopped hitting him and he couldn't see what Vernon was doing. That was when Harry felt his pants and underwear removed, he started to thrash against the bed, kicking his legs at Vernon. “Struggle and Dudley will just have to put more weight onto your back.” Harry felt the tears fill his eyes as he felt his fake uncle's hands on his rear.

It was disgusting feeling the sausage like fingers rub against his ass, he tensed up, his hands had gone numb under his body from the way his arms were under him. He felt Vernon's finger push into him, he gritted his teeth, and Dudley started to laugh. “Give it to him good dad! This is what you get for attacking me with your stupid magic Potter!.” he hit Harry hard in the back of the head, he looked away from his father as the man started to take his cock from his pants; he was his dad after all, he didn't want to actually see it.

“You idiot! I was trying to save you! You were under attack, please don't do this!” Harry screamed, Petunia heard the cries, but she just turned her television up to block the noise. Vernon pressed his small but thick cock into Harry, Harry's toes curled from discomfort, he cried into his pillow as Vernon began to thrust in and out of him roughly. Dudley grabbed Harry's hair tightly, pushing his face into the pillow hard, Harry started to gasp for air and his nose was being bent from the force. Not wanting to actually kill Harry, Dudley pulled his head up so he could breath, the bed was moving from the force of Vernon as he raped Harry.

Vernon gripped Harry's ass, his fingers painfully digging into the fifteen year old's skin, and his nails breaking into it; small trails of blood came from the small nail cuts on his ass. The man thrust his hips harder into Harry, the force making his skin make sickening noises against Harry's skin. Harry couldn't take it anymore, but he also couldn't use magic again and risk getting in more trouble, and just passed out. Vernon finished inside Harry, pulling out of him. Dudley flipped Harry over onto his back, slapped him hard against the face, but when Harry didn't wake up, they left the room.

Once Harry woke up, it had been a few hours after his assault, and he dragged himself out of his room to the bathroom. Vernon had not locked the door after raping him, so Harry was able to get out, and he sat in the bathtub crying as the water washed over his body. He pushed his fingers into himself, he wanted to make sure he was clean inside and out. He was shaking, they had never sexually assaulted him before, why did they hate him so much. Getting out of the tub, he went back to his room and redressed.

Just as Harry was finished getting dressed, he heard noises in the hallway, and he looked out. Moody looked at him, he was with some other people he didn't know and Remus. “Harry, we have to go.” Harry didn't need to know any more than that, he grabbed his things and left with the older wizards and witch. “We are the Order of the Phoenix, this is our safe house.” Harry stared at them, they really did exist, and he watched as the house suddenly appeared. They went inside and Harry felt his rage boil up as he saw Ron,his family, and Hermione. When they apologized for not writing to him, that they had been there the whole summer, Harry wanted to scream.

Then Harry saw his real mother, Sirius, and the man held his arms out to him. Harry wanted to cry in his arms, tell him everything, but that would put them both in danger. Instead, Harry just ran to him and hugged him, and the man wrapped his arms around the son he didn't remember having. “Harry, what is wrong? You are shaking....” Harry just shook his head, he didn't want to talk, and just held onto Sirius. Sirius looked at the others, they all were watching Harry.

With everything that had happened that night, Harry was exhausted, he went to bed. His dreams were filled with darkness, reliving the rape and abuse, as well as remembering the letter. He didn't know about his connection to the dark lord, or that his strong emotions about all the subjects were being sent to his father threw his horcrux in Harry's scar. Voldemort sat in the Malfoy's mansion, he saw the torment Harry had suffered, and he flew into a rage. He'd killed Lily Potter because he was paranoid that she'd killed his son and replaced him with her own, that the child was going to destroy him, he sent his death eaters to the Dursley's house.

Most of the next day Harry was quiet, he sat by himself, and didn't talk to Ron and Hermione. They both had been given prefect status at Hogwarts, he deserved it more than Ron. But it didn't matter, he was expelled, he had a court date, but he wasn't sure he would win. He pulled his legs to his chest, he was in the house library, and the adults were all discussing something in private; he didn't know that it was about the Dursley's being murdered. All Harry knew was that he wasn't invited to the conversation about his life and it made him paranoid, why wasn't he allowed to know about the things happening in his life, and everyone else was allowed to know everything.

It was like that for the next week, even Hermione and Ron were acting even weirder around him then when he first showed up. They were quiet, whispering about him behind his back, and shutting up when he turned the corner. Sirius was told to stay away from Harry till they had found out why the Dursley's were killed, how had the dark lord found out where the Dursley's lived, it was Dumbledore's orders, not that Harry knew why everyone was dancing around him. Harry knew they didn't know about the rape, at least he hoped not, if Sirius knew...he would have went into a rage of screaming that he wanted to kill the bastards.

There was another meeting, this time it was about Harry's up coming trail at the Ministry of Magic. Severus had left the meeting and went to the library to find something to read, the blacks had a huge book collection, he looked at Harry as the boy started to cry to himself, and he couldn't help but go over to the young boy. The closer he got to Harry, the more he saw that the boy looked pale, there were bags under his eyes and he was sitting in a corner of the room. He had half noticed that the boy would go into the library every day since he arrived, but he had assumed he was finally studying, had he known the boy came into the room to cry, he probably would have told one of the others to check on him.

“Potter? Shouldn't you be with your friends?”

“I don't have friends...” Harry wiped his eyes. “Friends would write to me, friends would help me get away from things that could hurt me...” he put his hands to his face, the rape having set in more. He started to break down, the shock from it was finally wearing off, and he sobbed into his hands. “Why did no one save me!” Severus was taken back by the sudden out burst. Harry shook as he started to stand, he looked at Severus. “Professor...please obliviate me....make me forget the last few days, it would be better than living with what I know...what that fat bastard did to me!” he grabbed the mans robes. “I just want to be a normal kid.” his eyes the color of Lily's stared into Severus', filled with tears, and the man pulled him into a comforting hug; it wasn't a normal gesture for him, but he couldn't stand there and let the boy cry.

Severus rubbed Harry's back to help calm him down. “Obliviation is not something to play with Potter....what exactly happened...” Harry told him about the horrible night he had, Severus was the only person he could trust, the man was a double agent, but had also protected him. He did leave out the whole being the son of Sirius and the dark lord, but telling him about the rape had angered the man, as well as the information that Dumbledore and the Weasley's knew about them beating him, and it was his first time hearing about it and that they had him living under the stairs the first half of his life. To him Lily's child,his childhood best friends child, had been tortured and put through hell, that no one had tried to save the boy, and it made him hate the lot of them even more. “So, Dumbledore as well as your friends knew about them abusing you and did nothing?”

“...Dumbledore said that the Dursley's were family, that their blood would protect me.” Harry looked up. “But how can that be right...how can them beating me up,starving me, locking me up, and forcing me to do stuff for them be to protect me.” he looked at the floor. “I rather Voldemort had killed me as a baby..” he was slapped across the face.

“You are fifteen! You shouldn't talk about that sort of thing!” Severus hissed. “You have many more years to your life, from this moment on live for yourself, you do not have to live up to being the golden boy or let people walk all over you. You do not need to be nice to everyone and you shouldn't have felt like you couldn't defend yourself against your psycho muggle family.” his eyes widened as Harry leaned up and kissed him, Harry was so over whelmed he couldn't help himself. Severus was in shock, he couldn't move, Harry quickly pulled back.

“I'm...I'm sorry sir...” Harry went to run out of the room, but his arm was grabbed by the older man, and he was kissed deeply. He could feel his face turn bright red, it felt hot, and he didn't feel gross at all. Severus didn't even understand why he was kissing Harry, he knew it was wrong, Harry was a child and his student; but he couldn't stop himself after the boy had started it the second he kissed him first. Both of them made small noises as the kiss escalated, they were hidden behind some bookshelves, and their tongues rubbed against each other, their eyes were closed.

Severus finally came back to his senses and pulled away from Harry. “...We can't...” he walked off, leaving Harry breathing heavily in the library alone. Harry's mind was in chaos, he had just made out with one of the meanest teachers in his school, and liked it. The man had calmed him down and showed him kindness, he felt his heart beating hard in his chest; Severus was his first kiss. Severus left the Black house, he needed to go home and think about what he'd done, and why the dark lord had sent death eaters to kill the Dursley's so violently.

It took Harry a few minutes to collect himself, his legs had been shaking from the way kissing Severus had made him feel. He heard Molly calling everyone to dinner, once he walked into the kitchen he could see that they were hiding something from him, the adults didn't look him in the face. He sat down beside Sirius and he thought, he was going to live for himself from this moment on. “Light in the darkness.” he whispered, glancing at Sirius as the mans face paled, his pupils turned small, and he ran out of the room. “Sirius!” Harry ran out after him.

TBC
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Harry's True Self