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Coming of Age (Female Potter)	By : stargazer67 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 11694 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Dinner seemed to take forever, and at the same time went by in a flash. She of course had a great time with everyone, but Sirius was a major distraction for her the whole evening. On the one hand she was wishing everyone would go once dinner was over, but on the other she was hoping they’d stay, giving her more time to build her courage. Despite Sirius’s flirting, she knew this was probably going to take him completely by surprise, and she still wasn’t sure how he was going to react.
Just when it seemed her nerves would be stretched to the breaking point, the party finally began to wind down. Everyone was saying their goodbyes, giving her hugs, and Sirius had gone to see them out. Needing something to do and a little more time to get composed, Evie decides to tackle cleaning up the kitchen. She notices that Hermione has left her beaded bag hanging on the back of the chair, and puts it aside so that she can return it to her later.
Sirius wanders back in after seeing everyone out, and says, “oh, no – the birthday girl should definitely not be doing manual labor tonight, leave that to Kreacher.”
She looks over her shoulder and smiles, saying “I don’t mind, won’t take but a minute anyway.”
He smiles and leans against the doorway, watching her, which of course makes her even more nervous than she already was. She finishes with the kitchen and decides she can’t put it off any longer, and turns to face him.
He gives her a deeper smile that makes her heart skip a beat; and reaching in his pocket, he says, “Close your eyes; I have something else for you.”
She does, and she can sense him as he draws near, just before taking her hand and putting a small box into it. She opens her eyes and he watches as she opens the box, to find a beautiful sapphire necklace within. She looks up at him, awed by it, and he answers the unspoken question - saying that it is a Black family heirloom, and he wants her to have it.
She hugs him and he whispers, “Happy birthday, darling” close in her ear, and her pulse races; he has no idea what effect he has on her.
Pulling back so he can look at her, he caresses her face, and says, “Evie, you have really grown into a beautiful young woman. You look so like your mother, but I think you’re actually more beautiful even than she was at your age.”
Evie blushes deeply and her mind is racing – maybe she won’t have to convince him after all. Maybe he’s had the same thing on his mind…?
But, her hopes are a bit lessened when he goes on to say, “I have no doubts the boys will be beating a path to our door over the next year. I might need to start transforming before answering the door…” He lets go of her as he says this, winking and picking up his wineglass to take a drink.
This is the moment that she knows she should say what’s on her mind, but looking into his eyes she completely loses her courage; and instead asks him if he had a serious girlfriend at her age.
His eyes darken and grow sad, and he moves away, saying that yes, he did. He’s silent for awhile, lost in his thoughts, and Evie timidly asks what happened. He looks at her and seems to come back to himself, and tells her that the girl and her whole family were killed by Voldemort. She was killed just a few weeks before Evie’s parents were – and then of course after that he was shipped off to Azkaban. He starts to say more but gets a bit choked up and doesn't continue.
He begins to turn away but Evie puts her arms around him, murmuring an apology for asking as he gets himself under control again. For him it’s not really that he still feels it so much after all this time, but more that he hasn’t really spoken about it to anyone since just before he was imprisoned.
He regains his composure after a moment and again she tells him she’s sorry for asking. He caresses her face, saying, “It’s okay. It was a long time ago, anyway.” Wanting to change the subject, he lets go of her and quirks his mouth into a half-smile and asks, “What about you? Do you have a special someone yet, hmmm?”
Evie knows her moment has come – she won’t get a better opening than that. Looking straight into his eyes, she says that she does; him.
He starts to laugh, thinking she’s making a joke, but stops when he sees that she’s serious. He moves back from her, trying to think of what to say.
Finally he says, “Evie…I am quite flattered. Any man would be; you really are a beautiful young woman. But surely, it’s just a crush – most girls have crushes on older men at some point, but it passes, trust me. You’ll find someone your own age in time, someone who will knock your socks off, and I’ll just be your old godfather again.”
She lets him finish, and then says, “It’s not a crush, Sirius. I love you, and I have for some time now. And not just as my godfather.”
He looks away, searching for another reason to deny her, and then says, “It wouldn’t be right. I’m your guardian as well as your godfather. And besides, I’m too old.”
Evie replies, “But, as of today, I have no guardian. Nor need one. I don’t suppose there’s an expiration date on being a godfather, but it’s not like we’re related in any way. And as for too old…” She touches his face gently and goes on, “…what exactly does age have to do with how either of us feels?”
At a loss, he repeats again, “You’ll find someone your own age, just give it time. You’ve just been cooped up here with me too much this summer, you haven’t had much of a chance to go out and meet anyone, that’s all.”
She looks down for a moment and he thinks he’s convinced her, but she’s just mustering her courage. When she looks back up and into his eyes, he can see how determined she is; and she says, “Okay, but what about you?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. The Black family basically dies with you – unless you’ve fathered children that you haven’t told me about? Or Regulus did?”
Sirius shakes his head and Evie goes on, “So, that leaves who, then - Bellatrix? Narcissa Malfoy? Do you really want them to be what’s left of your family?”
Sirius replies, “There’s also Andromeda Tonks, and you..”
“But Andromeda has already been disinherited officially by your mother, and I’m not actually related to you. But, if we had a child, together…”
Sirius is shocked at first, and then laughs, saying “Is that what this is about? You’re just worried about me? I don’t have to stay here as much as I do, I can still get out and about if I want to – don’t worry about me.”
Evie looks at him very seriously, and says, “It’s not just about you. It’s about me, too. I love you, Sirius. And neither of us may have as much time as we think we do. Is it too much for me to ask, to want to know of love before having to face the things we both know we will have to face? Is it too much to ask, to want to hold a child of my own before then, if at all possible? If I’m going to have to face death, I’d rather face it knowing that something of me still survives. Or even better, that something of both of us does. But above it all – I love you, and I want to be with you. It isn’t just a crush. It’s not me feeling sorry for you. And it’s not because I just haven’t found the right person yet. I have. You.”
He is deeply touched; all he can do is look at her for a very long moment. Nor can he really think of any argument to make against this; obviously, she has given this a lot of thought. Then, he looks down, because he’s also ashamed of his own feelings – the sudden internal hope that her words gave him, of having a child of his own. He wrestles with himself, telling himself repeatedly that it’s just a crush or just her feeling sorry for him. He would be taking advantage of her, his own ward, his best friend’s daughter – how could he even consider such a thing, even for a moment?
He shakes his head, and says, “People will say I took advantage of you, it will never work.” He knows it’s a pretty feeble argument as he says it, but he can’t think of anything else that she hasn’t already knocked down.
She says, “Well, actually – one ‘person’ already knows. And he agreed with me.”
He looks at her in shock, that she’d discuss this with anyone else; and she tells him that she had been discussing it with Phineas’s portrait.
Sirius’s mouth drops open; rude, critical, condescending, narrow-minded old Headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black agrees with her? He wonders how on earth she got him to come to his portrait here and give her even so much as the time of day civilly, much less to talk about and then ultimately agree with her about something like this.
Seeing his reaction, Evie smiles and says, “I’ll tell you about it sometime. But for right now, there’s still a question you haven’t answered. Aside from all the excuses you’re throwing at me – how do you feel, yourself? If you tell me that you could not love me or want me in that way, then I’ll accept that. But not as an excuse, you need to mean it. And given that it hasn’t even come up as a reason on your side yet, I think you need to think carefully about it before you do answer. If you do or could feel the same way that I do, then I think the excuses are basically irrelevant. It’s what we think that matters, not what anyone else does.”
He looks at her for a very long moment, wondering when she turned into this calm, composed young woman that is standing in front of him. He actually stops and thinks about what she’s just said – how does he feel? He tries to look at her objectively, as she’s wanting him to; and he definitely has to admit that she’s attractive, no doubt. And, there’s no doubt that he loves her too; just that he’s never thought of her that way. But the thought of having a child, with two loving parents…that’s actually the biggest chink in his armor.
Oh sure, he could have fathered a child on any woman willing to share his bed, and there have been plenty – but he wanted a child with more by way of loving parenthood than he’d had (especially from his mother), and wasn’t willing to settle for less. And he cannot deny that she loves him deeply, even if he feels it’s misguided or is more out of gratitude than anything else.
Still, though – it just doesn’t seem right, and all the arguments he made still seem like they should be valid. But looking into her eyes, he sees that the only one she’ll accept is the one he can’t give her; that he just doesn’t want her love or what she’s offering him. And truthfully, he can’t make himself say it.
Finally he whispers, “Evie, are you sure?”
Giving him a level look and a smile, she replies, “Kiss me, and judge for yourself.”
He hesitates, but finally begins to move towards her, stopping briefly to allow her to pull away if she wills; and when she doesn’t, their lips meet.
The kiss is tentative at first, but he very quickly stops thinking of her as his ward and godchild as she responds passionately and their kiss deepens. In moments they are kissing one another hungrily, and as she feels his arousal beginning to press against her, she leads him towards the stairs.
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Coming of Age (Female Potter)