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Coming Home	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 45643 -:- Recommendations : 8 -:- Currently Reading : 16
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make no money off this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
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Beta'd by the most wonderful, amazing and stupendous Tenchi. Woman, you are the best and love you for all you do for me!

With help from Lynn who works with me when it comes to flow, continuity and other issues.

Chapter 1

Helping Harry to his feet, Remus chuckled, “One day you might learn to land on your feet after a Portkey.”
Dusting off the seat of his jeans, Harry muttered, “I'm not counting on that. Between this and the Floo, I'm sure I'm never going to be graceful about landing.” Looking around, he wrinkled his nose. “This is rather disgusting, isn't it?”
Shaking his head as he eyed the front hall of Grimmauld Place, Sirius sighed, “It is, I admit it. You need to consider it's been empty since shortly after I went to Azkaban. Nothing to worry about. Our elves will have it up to a livable condition shortly. Then they'll work on decorating to suit our tastes. It's just going to take time, nothing more than that.”
For the first time since they had whisked Harry away, the three of them were back in the UK. Harry was now nineteen and a legal adult. It also meant enough years had passed that whatever charges the DMLE might consider leveling over the two of them taking him were moot. The statue for all of those had run out the year before, something they made double sure to check on before going ahead with this plan. Plus, they had taken a step to make damned sure that they couldn't anyway. To level anything and get out of Harry just what happened, the DMLE would have to question him. As they had bonded in Russia when Harry was sixteen, the DMLE couldn't do a damned thing to force Harry to give up anything that would incriminate or would be considered bondmate privilege. Perfect.
This was—Sirius didn't like being here. What he wanted was to go back to California where all of them had been happy. Los Angeles was an enormous place with a huge magical population, something he adored. What he loved more was the weather, the beach, the laid back atmosphere, all of it. Coming home meant a myriad of problems that none of them wanted. Plus, it meant uprooting Harry from a lifestyle he loved and friends he would dearly miss, something he didn't get to have for so long because of them hiding out and moving so much. After having to stay hidden for so long because of the state of affairs, neither he nor Remus wanted to do that, but the business opportunity that had dropped on him, something that would make them a fortune, was too good to pass up. So, here they were.
Thankfully, the only thing they really had to worry about when it came to the DMLE was whatever they thought they might be able to make stick when it became apparent that he and Remus had orchestrated Harry's vanishing. They might try, the only thing they were worried about, but wouldn't succeed. He had been cleared of betraying James and Lily the year after they left. At the time, Remus had been in and out of the country to keep up appearances and to get them much needed information. As he was known for going out of the country to find work, it had been the perfect cover. While at the Burrow the one day during one of the first meetings of the new Order of the Phoenix, something Albus was pulling together once more because of not only what he knew of Voldemort returning, but the hunt for Harry, the word had come in that Peter had been caught by Aurors who knew exactly who he was. There had been a huge uproar over that. The rat had, indeed, gone off to help that evil git and was back in the UK to work on some plans when he made the mistake of being seen by someone that knew who he was. While it was a gigantic cock-up, he had finally been cleared over it. Perfect. Once the final papers had gone through on that and a solicitor they had hired elsewhere took the Ministry to the cleaners over his wrongful imprisonment, Remus had left the country for good to be with him and Harry now that he didn't have to fear getting caught.
Looking around the house he grew up in, hating the sight of it and the memories it invoked, Sirius sighed. They would have problems at first, big ones, but they would manage. This was too good of an opportunity for them to pass up, so he had to take it. Though he and Harry were already very wealthy, this kind of income would make that look paltry. So, he had to go with it and that meant staying in this rotten arsed place for a time.
Scratching his chin, he sighed, “I want to sell the damned place and find one of our own, but we'll be so protected here that it's best I don't. That we're going to need. Everything we keep reading and hearing tells us what's going on here is really bad.”
“I know you don't like it here, but we need the protection this can offer,” Remus soothed. “Give the elves a week or so and it will look entirely different. They can easily get rid of everything and make it over to where it won't appear the same, Sirius. With as horrible as things are here at the moment, we won't find another house with the kind of protections this one has. And commuting from the continent just isn't viable, as we discussed. You need to stay close for meetings and whatnot.” Lowering his voice, he added, “And we all know what's going to happen when people find out Harry's back. We need to not only worry about You-Know-Who, but whatever Albus takes it in his head to try. He has no idea we know about some of his plans or other areas. And we can't just blurt out some of it as it would put plenty in danger when it comes to the three of us. Then there'll be the inevitable of him trying to draw us all back into this mess. This is best, despite the memories it holds.”
“That barmy old man needs to leave me out of whatever cockamamie scheme he has cooked up,” Harry said distractedly, looking around. Shaking his head, he added, “I'm not that little boy anymore and will be wary of anything he says or tries to pull.” Sighing, he took a few steps to look around, grimacing at the troll leg there. “This is just—gross.”
“It is,” Sirius said with a nod. “There was a house elf in charge of the place the last time I was here; Kreacher. I'm not sure if he's still around, dead or just gone mental. If he is alive, he's probably plenty barmy over having stayed here all this time on his own. I better check on that before we encounter him. That's not something any of us want to do without fair warning.” Calling for Kreacher, Sirius waited. Nothing. Calling again, he waited some more before taking a few cautious steps out of the entrance hall to the foot of the staircase. That's when he stopped. “Nothing to worry about. I found him.” The old elf was dead, curled up on the step right below the painting of his mother. Shaking his head, he summoned one of his elves to take care of the body. Looking around, he sighed, “We're sticking together while we see how bad this is. The elves need to get this cleaned, fast, as I'm sure there are plenty of dangerous pests.”
“Bloody wonderful,” Harry muttered, going to stand near Sirius.
By now, he was about the same height as Sirius and not much shorter than Remus, well developed and with an athletic build, a far cry from the skinny, underfed, short kid that had left. That was good and would help at first as he didn't look so much like his father anymore, having grown into his own looks. The glasses were gone, replaced with contacts long ago. The scar was still there, but it was hidden by a form of plastic surgery that was something akin to permanent makeup. All that meant was no revealing spell in this world would manage to show it. What they needed, at least until they got settled.
Scanning around, Harry sighed, “First, no surfing or beach. Second, nasty bloody house that is just filthy and disgusting. Third, no California weather, only the normal British version. Fourth, no Quidditch pitch. And, finally, we have to deal with barmy evil gits, deranged headmasters, stuffy people that live in the past when it comes to advances and other crap we all didn't miss. Explain to me again how the money is worth this, Sirius?”
Chuckling at that list, Sirius clapped Harry on the back. After directing the elves to get on the cleaning and get the damned paintings down, knowing how much of a nightmare the one of his mother would end up being if they didn't, Sirius told him, “Because a couple years in this purgatory will make it to where we won't ever have financial troubles as long as we live. Then we can move back to California and buy that house by Marissa like she wants.” Though he and Harry were wealthy, they weren't in the league with many of Harry's friends in California. This would put them there, in spades. Once everything was in place and set up, the papers through and all the other business parts of the deal worked out, they could leave again. It would give them a steady income the likes of which most would never see.
“Not sure if it's worth this,” Harry sighed, folding his arms over his chest and looking around. “Tell me this house at least has a backyard so I can keep my tan.”
“Nope,” Sirius chuckled. “We'll do something with the roof so we can get some sun.”
“I'm going to go completely mental being stuck in this place,” Harry groaned. By now, he was used to coming and going how he wanted without having to worry about looking over his shoulder. All his friends were back in California and the ones he had here before he left wouldn't be the same as the ones he made in California. They went out, had fun, did whatever without having to worry about the problems coming from this venture.
Stepping up next to them, Remus put a hand on the small of Harry's back and patted it. “It's going to take some adjustment, but we'll all manage. We just need to get a feel for what we have to do, nothing more. Besides, you have your phone and can talk to your 'girlfriends' all you want since you don't get billed for it. With the camera on it and the camera phone ability, it'll be close, though not the same as being there.” Scanning around, he then admitted with a resigned sigh, “This is worse than we expected, though. The elves need to get on the kitchen and somewhere for us to sleep. We're all tired after that international Portkey. If we're going to be effective in sussing out what to do and all you have to handle, Sirius, we need some rest.”
“We do,” Sirius nodded. Though it was mid-afternoon here, pushing towards late, it wasn't the time zone they were used to and they spent most of the night not only getting ready to go, but traveling. They could do it far faster than Muggles, of course, but it still took time to get from California to London, not to mention wearing you out.
“And food. We need something to eat. I'm starving. The last thing we had was before we left New York.” Grumbling, Harry added, “And we have to get used to British food again. That's completely different than what we're used to.”
“That is something to worry about,” Sirius admitted with a huff as he motioned for the two to follow. He wanted to take a walk around to see just how horrible this was before they judged what they were going to do. Nothing was set up for grocery delivery or anything else they would need. That they couldn't do ahead of time. They had the furnishings as they bought those beforehand, but some bits couldn't be taken care of until they were here.
Stepping into the kitchen, he wrinkled his nose. “Bloody disgusting.” It was just nasty, the only way to describe it. He had no idea how long Kreacher had been dead, but it looked like this place hadn't been cleaned for some time before that. And it stunk. “We're ordering out or something, all there is to it. And everything in here is getting replaced.”
“It doesn't have a fridge, Sirius,” Harry said, horror struck, eyes wide. This was worse than he imagined. All the conveniences he was used to just weren't here. And everything looked like something out of the 18^th century!
“It has a larder, like most magical houses in the UK,” Sirius explained, eying the old fashioned stove with disdain. “We're replacing everything. If we have to order it from the States, we're getting what we had in California. I refuse to live with this antiquated crap anymore.”
Looking around, sighing, Remus shook his head, “I think, once we take a walk around to see what needs done and decide where our bedroom will be, we need to get a hotel, Sirius. Probably a Muggle one as we don't want to alert anyone that we're back yet. This isn't livable by any standards. The elves need time to get it cleaned and what we need in here. I'm sure the charms and spells on the most basic of appliances have either stopped working or are malfunctioning. They need to fix those.”
“No, they need to get rid of them,” Sirius told him with a shake of his head. “We're replacing all of it. I don't give a shite. I get we're spoiled because of what it's like in the States, but I'm not putting up with this old fashioned crap if I don't have to. And, yeah, we're doing the hotel. This is—to use Harry's word; gross.” Sighing, he said, “Let's see what we're doing where, get the elves on what they need to do then find somewhere to stay. Most of the luggage should be here. We'll just grab what we need for a couple of nights and go from there. The credit cards from the bank will work with the Muggles, so that's not a problem and we don't have to chance the Alley to get money yet.” Motioning the two to follow, having Remus pull out his notebook to keep track of what they wanted attended to first, Sirius led the way through the downstairs to see what was where and what had to come first when it dealt with safety.

Standing in what used to be his father's room, Sirius sighed. “This is about the best we're going to get. My old one is too small for all three of us. I say we have the elves knock down the wall that separates this from mother's old room, enlarge the loo and have at it that way. We don't have the closet space for all of us either, so that needs enlarged or added on, something. Every damned thing in here needs replaced, from what's on the walls all the way to the carpet. It's just—bad. Worse than I thought. We should have bought extra elves and sent them ahead like we discussed.”
“We can get those through Gringotts in the next day or so,” Remus soothed, shaking his head as he looked around. “You don't have to go to the Alley to manage that. We need at least three more to take this on.”
“We'll do that,” Sirius nodded. “We'll also get the catalogs we need, set up the delivery for all the shite we have to have and anything else that crops up.”
Rubbing his still burning neck where an old pair of pants tried to strangle him when he looked in the closet after they came in, something Sirius and Remus rescued him from, Harry sighed. “Sirius—I get the elves are good, I really do, but this is going to take a week, minimum, to get it to where we can live here. Then we have to worry about pests. That's on top of what you have to do to get the business started. Unless you plan to actually hire someone to do the pest control and get it ready, we've got a problem.”
“No, we don't,” Sirius told him, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “We're staying in a damned hotel until the elves handle the worst. I'm not putting up with this. I get all three of us dealt with worse in the past when it came to where we lived, but we're too spoiled to take this on. No chance.”
“Can't we stay at Remus' place? I mean, we're all capable of layering on everything we can when it comes to protection. And where his cottage is isn't among our kind or likely to end up noticed that someone is there. If they do, he can handle it.” Harry suggested. Though he liked Muggle hotels, he would rather be somewhere magical where they weren't likely to set off problems with the Ministry because of them using magic.
Looking at Remus, who was glancing at him, Sirius asked, “Think we can manage that? I would feel better as your place is so heavily warded and protected. I do get it's only a matter of time before people realize we're back, especially since one of the people I have to get with in the Ministry is Arthur. We need at least a week, though, before we want that to happen.”
Thinking it over, Remus gave a slow nod. “We can manage. Temporary expansion charms will do the trick so we aren't so cramped. One of the elves can easily tend to that and get our bed there. There is a small Muggle town not far from it we can venture out to so we can get what we need until the grocery service is set up. Get one of them and send them off. It shouldn't take but a few spells to get it tidied up.”
“We'll go that route,” Sirius said with a relived sigh. “Once we settle in, we'll sit down and go over what we need to take care of and get set up. There is a shiteload before I even start tackling the business end.”
“We need to worry about the Wolfsbane. As we know, even in the States it takes time to set up the delivery for that. Here's bound to be worse.” Harry sighed, shaking his head and he looked around.
“That's one of the first things we do have to worry about, Sirius,” Remus sighed. “We can get it from the continent if we have to, but I'd rather do it here. And when we do, that's going to set off some talk.”
Groaning, Sirius nodded, hoping like hell that some things, like dealing with getting Wolfsbane, were easier than when they left. He wasn't counting on it, as this damned country was still plenty backwards when it came to werewolves, but he hoped. Calling one of the elves, he sent the creature off to get the cottage ready and the bed in place. “We can get the furniture there, even just to store it, while we wait. If I remember right, none of your furniture was in good shape. It's probably worse now, honestly. So, we can use that until this place is ready.”
“We'll manage and be comfortable,” Remus told him with a small smile. “After all, it can't be worse than that place we stayed in while in Peru.”
Thinking about that rat hole and how bad it was, somewhere that was only temporary until their house was ready, Sirius chuckled, “True! That was—blimey, that was bad. It was like we bumped into each other every time we moved.” Smiling, he nodded, “We'll do fine. Your place was always quite comfortable. It'll just be close quarters.”
“Which means no curry and beer for you, Sirius,” Harry snorted, shaking his head. “Remus and I don't want to die of methane poisoning from the gas they give you. It's even worse when we're in cramped quarters!”
Putting Harry in a headlock then giving him a knuckle rub on top of the head, Sirius laughed, “I like my beer and curry! Not giving it up any more than you are some of what you like.”
“I do tend to agree with Harry there, Sirius,” Remus said, amused. “The gas you get from that combination is almost lethal. If we are in my small cottage, Harry and I have no escape from it.”
Motioning Remus to follow, keeping the wiggling Harry in a headlock, Sirius chuckled, “Well, that's true. I admit it. I suppose I can give it up for the time it takes to get this house done. Then I'm having plenty because the curry in the States isn't nearly as good as what they have here!”
Trying to wiggle loose, though trailing along, Harry laughed, “Oh, Merlin! We're in real trouble, Remus! No overdosing on it, Sirius. We'll make you sleep on the couch again if you do!”
“My house, so you can't,” Sirius told him, letting loose of his head when they reached the stairs so they didn't end up falling down them. “You'll just have to suffer.”
“Oh no we won't,” Remus chuckled, trailing along behind. “I refuse to suffer your form of a gas attack, Sirius. You will not pull the covers over us and fart while we sleep. That is something I never, ever want to wake up to again. And curry will make it far worse than the Mexican food you're so fond of. Keep in mind there are two of us and only one of you. That and you have to sleep sometime. You'll wake to find yourself sleeping in the shower!”
Grinning, Sirius scratched his chin as he walked down the stairs then said, “There is that. I keep forgetting I'm outnumbered and how sneaky you two are. I'll curb the impulses, I promise.”
“Good,” Harry said, looking around as they walked down. “We'll get revenge if you don't, I swear we will.”
“There is that, too,” Sirius laughed, shaking his head. Sobering up, he said, “It's just the first day. We'll manage this. It's just going to take some readjustment is all. That we can handle. With all we've gone through together, it won't be that bad. As long as we're together, we can get through anything.”
Smiling once more, Remus nodded. “Very true. We also don't have to hide like we did before you were cleared or keep Harry's identity a closely guarded secret. All we have to do is keep it hidden for a week or so, that's it, something easily done. It's going to end up far easier than when we started out.”
“True!” Sirius admitted as they stepped back onto the bottom floor. “We're just spoiled, nothing more. Give it a few days and we will be again.” Nudging Harry as he motioned them to follow to the back of the bottom floor, he said, “It's going to be strange to not have a house full of half naked teenage girls all the time! I won't know what to do with myself and might have to streak through the house the first night since I don't have to worry about traumatizing them!”
Laughing, Harry said, “They're fun, admit it! Besides, if Marissa hadn't decided to keep me, you wouldn't have this business opportunity.”
“You did good with that one, I admit it,” Sirius told him, giving him a nudge. “I can safely speak for Remus when I say we're just damned glad we know you're gay and aren't at all interested in girls. Otherwise, we'd be jealous of that lot because we sure as hell cannot compete with them in the looks department.”
Snickering, Harry just shook his head. Their life—oh, it was weird, he would give anyone that, but he loved it. And probably would this as well. They just had to keep an eye out, nothing more, to protect themselves. That and focus on what would come of it. It would be worth it in the end.
“Speaking of Marissa,” Remus started, looking amused, “she hasn't called yet. That's a first! I expected multiple ones by now with her whining and telling Sirius how mean he is.”
“I'll text her when we get settled,” Harry told him, smiling. “She knew we had a lot of traveling to do.”
Looking around, just shaking his head at how bad this was, Sirius sighed, “Let's get the elves to have at it and we go get settled. There isn't much we can do until they at least get this cleaned. We'll pop back over tomorrow to see what we can manage.” Hearing Harry's stomach growl, he laughed, “And I vote we go grab something to eat before we go to the cottage. We have a shiteload to do, so we don't want to start out on an empty stomach.” Hearing the other two agree, he motioned for them to follow, asking where they wanted to go. While this was as big of an upheaval in their lives as when they left, this time it would be easier. He just needed to make sure that he and Remus stayed alert for people trying to draw them into the nightmare going on. That they were avoiding at all costs!
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