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Finding Peace	By : goldhorse Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 18558 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the HP franchise. JK Rowling does. I make no money doing this. That's why I work 2 jobs.

Chapter List
- 1-Finding Peace
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
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- 2
- 3
Hermione woke up with a groan, her entire body on fire. The turn always took it out of her. She opened her eyes and studied the wall of the stone shack she and Malfoy inhabited. It was tiny, just a bedroom, bathroom, and a tiny kitchen set off in the opposite corner. Magic and sweat had helped them build a sturdy structure that could withstand the average 63 km winds and kept the temperature a steady 50 degrees which was better than the 40-53 degree variable outside, chill factor aside. The roof was water tight, which was good because it rained 300 days of the year, or so the books had said. They had been right so far.
Malfoy shifted and she realized that she was lying beside him. Well, under would be a more apt description. He was nude like her, which wasn’t surprising. They usually stripped before the turn, less clothing casualties that way. They also warded their makeshift closet to keep their wolves from burrowing in them, yet another lesson learned there. The shock was that one of his legs was hooked over both of hers, pinning them to the bed. His morning erection was rubbing against her core, which was also extremely sore. She moved and gasped as his arm clamped down over her back, reaching under and grabbing her breast possessively. Her neck burned and stung as he nuzzled into it and it dawned on her what had happened.
“Fuck,” she growled, snarling at him as she fought against the pain and his superior strength. “Malfoy, wake the fuck up right fucking now!”
He groaned and rolled over, scrubbing the back of his hand over his eyes. “What in the bleeding hell are you fucking screeching about now woman?”
“Open your fucking eyes and look at me you rat bastard,” she hissed, teeth bared as she slowly backed against the headboard.
He scowled and focused on her. “What the fuck did you kill last night? There’s blood all over you.”
“It’s my fucking blood you fucking idiot.”
He snarled at her then, crouching into attack position. “Call me an idiot one more fucking time, bitch.”
“Would you rather I called you a fucking rapist?”
That drew him up short, making him plop down on his arse in the middle of the bed. “What?”
“Look at your fucking dick you fucking prick,” she seethed.
He looked down and paled, seeing the evidence of a coupling on his cock, blood and semen. “No.”
“Yes,” she said, all the fight going out of her.
“No, God no,” he whispered. “I don’t remember.”
“Me either,” she said sadly. “But I can feel it.”
He buried his head in his hands. “Shit. I’m sorry, Granger. I… I don’t know what happened.”
“I do,” she said dully.
She ignored his dumbfounded look as she crawled out of the bed and limped over to the makeshift loo. Each step sent radiating pains through her entire body. It always hurt the morning after, but this morning was exceptionally painful and she cursed Malfoy. It wasn’t really his fault but she was too angry and hurt at the moment to care.
The loo was really just a crude toilet, sink, and tub transfigured out of stone. Indoor plumbing was compliments of the aguamenti charm and filtered rain water through charmed pipes. It worked though. She turned the tap on the tub and let it fill before she stuck her wand in to warm it up. It was steaming in no time. Thank magic for that. She added a few healing herbs and whimpered as she got in.
“What was it?” Malfoy called sadly. “Have I finally gone insane?”
“No,” she said, staring blindly at the slate grey wall. “I went into heat.”
“What?” he yelped, scrambling out of bed and nearly tripping over himself to get to her.
She sighed and looked over at him as he knelt by the tub. Rapist had been a harsh accusation, especially considering they’d both been victims of the act before. Judging from the deep gouges all over Malfoy’s admittedly toned body and the two black eyes and swollen nose he sported, she’d worked him over pretty good. She had a feeling that she had yielded after he’d shown his strength. That was the way werewolf mating worked, or so she had read.
“You heard. I finally went into heat.”
He shook off his shock and sniffed the air, freezing when he caught her scent. “How did I not notice it before?”
She shrugged. “I’m pretty sure it just hit last night.”
He nodded and then sighed and leaned his forehead against the cold stone tub. “I’m so sorry.”
She couldn’t stand the guilt radiating off of him. “I don’t think it was really your fault. It was bound to happen. We knew it might when we started this stupid journey.”
He nodded and wordlessly picked up the pitcher that they’d transfigured from shells found on the beaches. He wet her hair down and began washing the blood out of it, wincing and flinching when she hissed. He’d bitten a hunk out of her neck during the mating, a symbol of domination. He’d obviously sank deep to assert himself. It bloody well hurt now though.
“Do you think you’re pregnant?” he whispered as he worked the lather through her hair.
She shuddered and shrank further in on herself. “I don’t know.”
He sighed. “We’ll cast the spell once I get this out.”
“If I am?”
“That’s up to you,” he said after a long pause. “We weren’t supposed to live this long.”
It was true. They’d apparated all over Europe trying to find the perfect place to settle in so they could think and plan, but everywhere they found was too close to humans. They couldn’t spell caves shut since they couldn’t cast silver spells anymore, their magic rebelling against it. Even handling silver through gloves was painful and no amount of manmade structures would hold them. They’d tried hiding out in a castle dungeon in thick iron stocks but they broke during the turn. They’d moved to the rainforests after that, finding tribes and more that they didn’t want to disturb. The only way to keep the world safe from them was to find an uninhabited island.
It took a few weeks of research but they finally found one. The Antipodes Islands were perfect. No one vacationed there. The longest someone had been able to live on the island was five years. It was a nature reserve so no one was going to try again. There were no tourists. The weather was awful. It was overcast 95 percent of the time. There weren’t that many animal populations that they could decimate in wolf form except for penguins and they found they didn’t really have a taste for the loud birds anyway. If they needed supplies, they could apparate to New Zealand to get them.
When they first ran, they’d constantly discussed dying as they tried to find new accommodations. They’d made provisions but never could go through with it. As the frantic search for a safe haven wore on, the need to die had plagued them less and less. And after they’d settled, surviving had been in the forefront of their minds. Suicide hadn’t come up much in the six months since they’d settled either. They had an unspoken pact not to talk about past interactions or their friends and families. Despite the miserable existence they’d willingly subjected themselves to, life was actually pleasant… until the past few weeks.
She’d noticed a shift in their relationship. They’d slowly built the intimacy of a pack, helping each other bathe and doctor wounds. They even slept cuddled together, first because they had to share body heat but then because it was familiar and comforting. Malfoy’s smell changed. His muscles toned up. He stared at her when he didn’t think she was looking. She found herself appreciating his grace and form in addition to his wit. He was also quite insightful… not to mention resourceful and his old prejudices and ego had disappeared. She should have recognized the sexual tension for what it was. Only now, as he soaped up a flannel and gently washed her back, did she realize that she’d wanted him as a mate for a while now.
Here, on this rotten little island, she’d found her pack. And as much as she hated the existence she’d been forced into, she was growing to love it as well. There were no expectations. If she wanted to run around naked, no one would be there to frown at her, tell her just how insane she was for doing it, and chastise her for wanting to. Hell, Malfoy joined in the fun most times. She wasn’t lonely with him around. They shared some of the same horrors. It was easy to just… be. But the threat of a pregnancy shattered the tentative peace they’d found.
In another life, a baby might be welcome. She was certainly too young. Had she not been infected, she would have focused on her education and then her career before settling down and starting a family. Still, if the unexpected happened, she would have welcomed the little bundle with joy and love. But that wasn’t her reality and she was horrified. They were both werewolves and while the disease was a curse and not genetic, it could transfer to the baby. Teddy Lupin was fine but he only had one werewolf parent. If by some miracle the baby was born human, what would they do when they turned? They couldn’t very well leave the poor thing locked in the house all night while they lost their minds. Would it smell like pack or would they start seeing it as food? On the other hand, if it was werewolf, how could they help it cope when they were barely hanging on as it was?
“All done,” he said softly, unfolding a big fluffy towel, a luxury splurge they’d both agreed on.
He lifted her out of the tub, wrapped the towel around her, and sat her on the small stool transfigured from a few scraggly trees that managed to survive on the island. When she was settled, he jumped in the tub, mechanically scrubbing the blood and dirt from his body. His eyes were unfocused, no doubt thinking about the same things she was. What in the hell would they do with a baby? It seemed kinder to end it now. But there was a small part of her that was disgusted at the notion of an innocent life snuffed out simply because its parents couldn’t deal with it. Maybe the charm would be negative.
“Come on,” Malfoy said.
She jumped, not realizing he’d finished and was wrapped in his own towel. She allowed him to carry her back into the bedroom to lie down. He averted his eyes as he unwrapped her towel and grabbed his wand off the nightstand. She held her breath when he cast the spell, tears of anguish falling from her eyes as it glowed blue. She couldn’t catch a break. Neither of them could.
“A son,” he whispered, swallowing harshly before casting another spell that glowed gold. “Appears to be normal and healthy.”
“It’s less than a few hours old,” she murmured.
“According to the muggle watch you got, we’ve been asleep for nearly two days,” he said solemnly, staring at the clock that also told what day it was. “Plenty of time for it to take hold.”
“How did we sleep so long?” she breathed in shock.
He shrugged and sat on the bed, mindless to the fact that his towel had fallen off. “It’s not unheard of during werewolf mating. But then again, I didn’t really pay attention to that section of the book.”
She nodded without seeing. They were in big trouble. And now she had a choice to make.
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“We’ll need to break into a library,” Malfoy announced.
Hermione nodded and stared off into space. After six weeks of deliberations, arguments, lists, and soul searching, she couldn’t terminate the pregnancy. It might have been kinder not to bring a cursed child in the world, but she couldn’t just snuff out its life because of an unforeseen incident. And after months of learning to live with another werewolf, she found the need to kill herself almost non-existent. Sure, it was lonely, but Malfoy was good enough company. He’d been nothing but cordial since she’d gotten pregnant. And since she was already up the duff, her last turn was uneventful save the normal bumps and bruises.
They’d decided to try and keep the baby, assuming that she carried to term and the transformations didn’t hurt it. They would study the wards that would allow them to turn without hurting the baby once it arrived. There was one hitch in the plans though. They wouldn’t be cognizant enough during their turn to know if the baby had turned or not. There were only two solutions. They could consume wolfsbane potion, but that was impossible to come by. Or they could send the baby off during the full moon, which wasn’t really an option at all since they’d disappeared off the face of the planet and had no one else. And if the baby turned, there was no way that they could turn a werewolf loose on humanity. Being isolated from humans was part of the reason they were still sane.
Malfoy was right. They’d need to do some research and no mere muggle library would have the answers they were looking for. That had proven dangerous in the past. Wizarding libraries had signal wards that would alert the patrons of creatures. The last time they’d entered one, Aurors had shown up and they almost hadn’t escaped. It would be better to go at night when no one was there. Then one of them could act as a lookout. She didn’t even know if it was safe to apparate though. What if she splinched? She sighed and looked up helplessly.
Malfoy knelt beside her and took her hand. “I’ll go tonight.”
She nodded, tears swimming in her eyes. “I just… I don’t know if it’s safe.”
“I’ll look for that answer first,” Malfoy said, rising to sit beside her in the bed. “Then I’ll come back and get you and we can look for more together.”
“You’re being awfully supportive of this,” she whispered.
“I got us into this bloody mess. I’ll get us out.”
She laughed harshly. “Voldemort got us into this fucking mess. And Fenrir Greyback cursed us to this horrible situation. I hardly think hormones and pheromones are really to blame.”
“Still,” he said, putting a hand on her still flat stomach. “That’s my son growing in your womb. I’ll not abandon it like my parents did to me.”
Hermione bit her lip so hard she almost bled but the tears still fell. “At least you know what happened to your parents. Mine still think they’ve never had a child. They don’t even know their real names.”
“Why did you never reverse the spell?”
She snorted. “Blissful ignorance is a million times better than cursed knowledge.”
“Aye,” he said. “Are you hungry?”
“Not particularly.”
“Morning sickness already?”
“Not really. Just feeling kind of… blah.”
He nodded and stood. “Well, I’m going for a run. I’ll catch us some fish, shall I?”
“No tuna,” she whispered. “I read somewhere that it was bad for you, something about mercury?”
“I’ll make sure it’s not tuna,” he said with a small smile. “Howl if you need anything.”
She nodded and watched him take off out the door. Six months ago, requesting she howl would have made her jaw drop in horror. There were some things the isolation had helped. The werewolf urges was one of those. She now groomed Malfoy freely and they cuddled a lot. They sniffed each other in welcome and snarled displeasure. At least no one was around to see them go wild. Well, not yet. She put her hand on her stomach and sighed. She hoped this was the right choice.
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“You aren’t going to like these answers,” Malfoy announced as he shuffled in with an arm load of books.
“I can’t apparate,” she said flatly.
“Right in one,” he sighed as he set the books on the kitchen table. “We’ll have to stick to illegal port keys which can be tracked. You also have to contend with the werewolf.”
“Great,” she murmured, picking the top book up. “So, what am I in for?”
Malfoy snatched the book from her hands before opening it to a specific page so she could take a look. “We not only have to deal with the human aspects like morning sickness and mood swings, but we have to deal with the wolf aspects which comes with one hell of a nesting instinct. As soon as it kicks in, you aren’t going to want to leave the house.”
Her eyes almost bulged out of her head as she skimmed the article. “For nine months!”
He shrugged. “I don’t know but we’ll have to watch out for anemia especially… and the potential for damage during the full moon.”
Hermione sighed and curled up on the bed. “Do you think I should have aborted?”
He wiggled underneath her on the bed, placing his arms around her and his hands on her stomach. “I don’t know, Granger. I really don’t. But running away was my idea. If we hadn’t… who knows?”
“Social lepers,” she grumbled.
“Maybe. I don’t know about you but I feel… better now. I mean, I’m not on top of the fucking world by any means but I’m not so… completely lost.”
“Pack mentality,” she said as she turned in his arms and snuggled into his neck. “Werewolves are pack creatures and there aren’t a whole lot of us left. I don’t blame the Ministry for passing the decree to eradicate us right after the war but….” She shivered.
“Do you think they would have put us down?”
“I don’t think so. They didn’t kill Snape and the vampires had just as big a role as the werewolves. But it doesn’t mean we’d be accepted with open arms. I think it would have been worse than Remus ever experienced . I… I couldn’t handle that. But here… with you… no one to judge… it’s… nice.”
He nuzzled into her hair. “It is nice. But can you ever forgive me?”
“There isn’t anything to forgive,” she said, running her hand down his strong chest. “I didn’t mean it, you know. You aren’t a rapist.”
“Then what am I?”
She swallowed and decided to throw caution to the wind. They’d been in a kind of courtship for months. If she were honest with herself, she was more angry that they’d finally come together when she couldn’t remember it. She’d wanted to experience that with Malfoy as a man, not an animal. But she’d lashed out at him and she could practically smell his hurt, disgust at himself, guilt, and the resolve. It was almost unbearable sometimes.
“Y-you’re my Alpha.”
Malfoy went completely rigid underneath her. The admission wasn’t a small one. She was acknowledging him as the head of the pack, the leader, the protector. Perhaps most important to them now, she was acknowledging that he was worthy of mating with. Trying to find the balance between the human and the wolf was maddening sometimes. The acknowledging of Alpha status was one of those. She wasn’t a submissive by nature and in wolf packs, the Alpha male wouldn’t want a submissive female anyway. But the male was still the absolute head of the pack and she had a tough time with that one.
Now, feeling him tremble underneath her as he struggled to keep his body in check, she thought she could defer to him. He wasn’t the same pale, angular, cruel boy he’d been when they were children. He’d been pushed past the edge and recovered. He’d learned compassion and what true priorities were and that sometimes bravery was mucking through the day even though it’s the last thing you wanted to do. He hadn’t once complained about her mood swings or her sudden bouts of weakness. He was finally the Alpha she could respect.
She decided not to think anymore and leaned down to lick a slow stripe up his neck. He snarled in pleasure as his hands tightened across her back. She shivered at the feel of the sinewy arms holding her so possessively. She licked him again, this time dragging her tongue over the stubble on his chin. He usually had a five o’clock shadow and let her hack his hair off when it got so long he couldn’t bat it out of his eyes. Now she appreciated just how good the scruffy look was on him.
“Granger,” Malfoy growled a warning. “You have no idea what you’re doing.”
She sighed and shook her head. “I’m pregnant, not mentally deficient.”
“You do this and we aren’t going to go back to just friends,” he said darkly. “We can’t. I won’t allow it.”
“We’ve been more than friends a while,” she said softly, shifting to straddle his legs. She put her hand on her stomach. “And were going to be parents. I think it’s time.”
That was all the coaxing he needed. In a flash, he had her pinned to the bed and was licking and nipping at her neck, nuzzling and rubbing his scent on her. This was what she wanted. He was still a bit of an animal. Living that long without other human contact had taken its toll. But his arms slid down and started caressing her, gently but possessively and she was in heaven. He was wolf and man at the moment. It was perfect.
He stripped her out of her night dress. The cool air on her naked skin made goose bumps rise in the wake of his questing mouth. It was like being burned by a red hot poker and then doused in ice and she loved it. He was so warm and so there. She’d needed this for far too long.
He took his time mapping out her body. He’d seen her naked more often than clothed, but the way he touched her… It was like he hadn’t ever had a woman before. Perhaps it was the wolf talking but she wasn’t about to question it. She felt treasured and more than a little owned. It gave her a secret little thrill to think about that. He snarled and claimed her mouth, tongue demanding entry as he pulled her body into his.
She could smell his desire mixed with relief, elation, and not a little bit of fear. The coupling seemed too good to be true but there was no turning back now. There wasn’t any reason not to give in. Who was going to stop them? Then he knelt between her legs and snuffled and her world went white. When she could think again, she realized that he’d stripped and maneuvered her up the bed so she could rest on the pillows as he feasted on her core.
“You taste so good,” he murmured, making her stomach flip at the gravely tone.
She squirmed and bucked under his ministrations and tried to turn to return the favor but he pinned her down and wouldn’t allow her to move. She loved the restriction and the silent order but she wanted to please him too.
“Feel,” he ordered. “Smell. This pleases me.”
She took a deep lungful of air and realized he was telling the truth. Tasting her was taking him just as high. She fell back on the bed and surrendered, letting the feel of his tongue and teeth scraping against the sensitive little bundle between her legs consume her. Shocks of pleasure soared through her, building until she couldn’t hold it in anymore, coming to a high she hadn’t experienced before. He stayed with her until she finally collapsed.
He didn’t allow her to recuperate. She looked into his eyes as he crawled over her like the predator he was. They glowed in the dim lighting, promising dark and wonderful things. This wouldn’t be gentle. He couldn’t do gentle. Then again, she couldn’t either. He kissed her hard, the tang of blood noticeable after a few seconds. There was no telling who it belonged to but neither cared.
He lined himself up at her entrance and despite the frantic need that was radiating off of him, he slid in slowly. She clawed his back trying to get him to speed up. That elicited a snarl and an even slower entry in retaliation. She let out a growl and bucked her hips, challenging him. She didn’t want sweet and easy. She wanted the animal. His jaw tightened and he drew back, a wild light in his eyes.
Uh oh.
“I was thinking of the baby,” he hissed before reaching for his wand. “But since you insist…”
She held her breath as he cast some sort of bubble charm around her womb. She wrinkled her brow and cocked her head in question.
“Short term protection charm,” he said through clenched teeth. “Found it in a BDSM book for wizards.”
She didn’t have a chance to ask why he was browsing through such a book. He dropped his wand and gave a brutal thrust, making her howl in pain and pleasure. He didn’t let up either, taking her hard and fast. She dug her nails further into his back and widened her legs, allowing him maximum maneuvering room. It wasn’t enough. He sat back, roaring as she drew blood. Then her legs were over his shoulder and he was pounding into her so hard she feared for both of their safety. He twisted her in half and took his own pleasure.
Her orgasm crashed into her so fast it made her dizzy. He didn’t let up, quickly working her into another. She hadn’t felt something like that in her entire life and while she wanted more, she didn’t think she could take much more. She sucked a choked breath down when he reached forward and started playing with her nipples, tweaking and twisting them. She rode the wave so high that black spots clouded her vision. She heard Malfoy’s feral growl as he found his own completion. Then the room dimmed and she allowed it to take her. She was safe. Malfoy would take care of her.

AN: Wonder how they're going to deal with this? Me too. I realize that Snape is yet again a vampire... but I luff him that way. *snuggles teh fanged snape* This story is quite a bit different from my others but it is actually a tangent of another story I'm working on that is not anywhere near ready to post yet. Someday... As always, thanks to those who reviewed. I do appreciate each and every one of them. You guys help shape me as a writer and I couldn't do this without you. Until next time... love you guys!
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Finding Peace