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Harry\'s Shadow	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Sirius Views: 41818 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 16
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and make not a knut off this strange work of fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
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Beta'd by the most wonderful, amazing and stupendous Tenchi. Woman, you are the best and love you for all you do for me!

With help from Lynn who works with me when it comes to flow, continuity, laying out this complicated mess to make it work and other issues.

Also, to Tash who spent several long hours working with me to make sure this would come across right.

Chapter 2

Okay, it was official; Sirius was angry. No, angry didn't come close to what he was feeling. Enraged was. Homicidal was even closer. Those two, though, weren't strong enough to describe his feelings towards Harry's so-called family. If he had his body, he might well have already earned his term in Azkaban from all he had seen so far.
It was only about a month since he had become Harry's shadow and what he had seen angered him in a way nothing else ever had. The cupboard was enough to send him there. This wasn't a proper room for anyone, let alone a growing boy. To confine him in this—place for long stretches was abusive. Then there were the chores.
Now, he understood that it was proper to give children chores to teach them responsibility. What you did not do was use them as a fucking house elf to do everything! And that's exactly what Vernon and Petunia were doing. A child like Harry should not have to stand on a chair to do dishes, cook, clean, whatever. Picking up after themselves is fine, tidying up their room is fine, small chores were fine, what Harry was forced to do was not! Even worse was that pig Dudley didn't do a damned thing. Harry was the one that had to clean up after him. From what he saw, Dudley purposely made messes so that Harry had to clean them. He even went out of his way to make it look like Harry hadn't done something or messed it up again for his godson to get in trouble. No!
Next came the abusive way Harry was talked to and treated. That had Sirius ready to really hurt someone. Being called boy or freak was bad enough. Vernon, in the whole time he had been here so far, hadn't once called his godson by his name. Then there was the way he yanked him around by his arm or hair. Hell no! Petunia taking a swing at Harry with a frying pan made him want to strangle the bitch. Dudley alone was someone he wanted to severely injure. He got that the blond boy was just taking after what his parents showed, but Dudley was like so many he knew in school that would hurt animals just for the thrill of it. Pushing Harry down. Deliberately breaking his glasses. 'Harry hunting'. Tripping him. All of it was enough to make Sirius shake with rage. Then came Marge. Oh, that bitch wanted him to hurt her after that damned dog of hers, Mangler, went after Harry and all she did was laugh. This was all going to stop as fast as he could manage it.
However, the thing that pushed him over the edge happened just a few days before. It had been Harry's sixth birthday. He expected something, despite how badly his family treated him. After all, Dudley had gotten a small mountain of presents for his. Except Harry got nothing. Not even one of the foul people in this house doing so much as wishing him a happy birthday. He had asked Harry about it and his godson just shrugged then said it was normal as the little boy drew himself a picture of a birthday cake in the dust on the floor of the cupboard. He had made sure to wish him that, of course, telling him how much he loved him, but no one else had. Harry had actually seemed stunned that he did that, something that told him this had gone on for a long time.
That was the final straw. He had drawn enough energy from Harry and whatever that darkness in his godson was that he could finally do other things besides talk to him, so it was time to start. And people were going to learn as fast as he could manage that change was coming, whether they liked it or not. Not to mention that payback was a real bitch.

As a small boy, Harry didn't always understand why some things in this world happened or what was going on, but, by the age of seven, he understood that since his shadow had become Sirius his life was much better. He also understood that his life had completely changed since his sixth birthday, an event that seemed like it was the reason for so much of the change. And for the better. In fact, it was beyond what he dreamed it could be! There were parts that were bad, of course, but with Sirius there, it more than made up for it.
At first, they had just talked a lot. Since Sirius was now his shadow, they were always together. Despite what he feared at first, he didn't have to worry about people hearing him talk to Sirius. Sirius had taught him a way that they could talk without speaking. It was a bit like that telepathy thing he heard about on the telly, though it wasn't the same. It was just they could manage because they were attached in some way. He didn't care how they managed, he liked it, more than he could have ever dreamed.
Sirius didn't seem to mind listening to him about any topic. In fact, he encouraged him to talk, even if it was just about kid stuff. And Sirius gave great advice on how to deal with so much, no matter what it was. Then there was that Sirius helped him with his homework. He was rather pants at school, honestly, because he didn't get much help. The teachers seemed to ignore him and focus on Dudley. He couldn't see the board very well, so he didn't always understand what he needed to do. Sirius made sure he did know and helped. Oh, he didn't give him the answers, but helped him work out the problems. That had him doing much better in school. His aunt and uncle didn't seem to like that as he was doing better than Dudley, but he didn't mind.
While getting to know each other last summer, Sirius had explained so much to him. Part of that was that he wasn't a freak. Those strange things that seemed to happen were because he was a wizard. He had tried to explain to Sirius at first that there was no such thing as magic. After all, Uncle Vernon pointed that out repeatedly and if he even mentioned the word magic he got a long stint in the cupboard. Sirius told him Vernon was wrong and made sure he understood that. It took time, but he did comprehend it now. Then he learned about his parents. Though Harry didn't always get some bits as adults seemed so complicated, he did understand that Sirius was very upset that he had been told his parents died in a car accident, how he was dropped on the step, all that. So, Sirius made sure he knew the real truth about all of it. Then he was upset about being lied to for so long. He kept that to himself, though, only talking to Sirius about it. After that, Sirius told him all about the Wizarding World. By now, he couldn't wait to turn eleven so he could go to Hogwarts. The stories Sirius told about the castle were amazing and he loved them, wanting to see it for himself.
That wasn't the only thing that changed, though it would have been enough for Harry. Instead, more had been altered. It turned out that Sirius could do more than just be his shadow and talk to him. It had taken a month or so, but he could then do things on his own. Sirius had explained that he was drawing from his energy and magic to become stronger. Harry didn't mind that, though for the first week it made him a little tired. Once Sirius was strong enough, he could move around on his own anywhere he wanted, as long as he stayed part of a shadow of some kind. In doing that, he was also able to make other things happen. That's how he got his own room and didn't have to live in the cupboard.
Sirius seemed really upset about his cupboard and promised that he would get a real room. As this was all Harry knew, he didn't mind it and told Sirius that. It was then Sirius explained how it wasn't right and was abusive. Then he set out to make that change. Every time someone tried to force him into the cupboard or told him to go there, something bad happened. Oh, it wasn't anything horrible, but enough to get their attention, like tripping over something, slamming their hand in the door, something hitting them on the head, small things like that. They were never really hurt over it. After a month of that, Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon seemed slightly frightened then he was moved up to the guest room. Though he was used to his cupboard, the room was great. He didn't have much in it, of course, but there was some and it was huge! The first few nights that had actually bothered him as he wasn't used to having so much space around him while he slept. Sirius curled up to him and made sure he knew he was safe. That helped, a lot. As Sirius felt more 'normal' now, like a slightly muted, gauzy version of a person, it was good. He liked it when Sirius held him anyway, but that made the transition so much easier for him.
The next big change came with his chores. That one was huge. Sirius was real upset by all he had to do, saying it wasn't right. Though this was normal for him, something he told him, Sirius pointed out that Dudley was the same age and didn't have to do anything. Harry had told him it was because of what he was. That Sirius didn't like either. Oh, he didn't get mad at him over it, nothing like that, he just explained to him how it wasn't right and no one could change what he was more than they could make him into a girl because they wanted one. Though Harry understood, this was all he really knew so it didn't bug him. It was then Sirius promised him that the chores would stop and he could learn to do other bits. And he was right, just like he was about the room.
At first it was the cooking. It seemed that every time his aunt tried to force him to do that, bad things happened again. Oh, like with the cupboard, they were small things, but it kept happening. Soon he didn't have to do that anymore. Then came the yard work. It was the same kind of thing with both Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. He didn't have to do that either after a while. After that it was the chores in the house. It seemed the two were unnerved enough that the second the bad bits started, they stopped that as well. Once his chores were gone, other than small ones like cleaning his room or taking out the garbage, he had lots of free time to do what he wanted. Most of that was spent talking with Sirius or playing. He hadn't realized how much fun playing could be. It was something he learned to love, too! Sirius would play with him whenever he wanted. That made it even better. Though he didn't have a lot of toys, he could manage. As Sirius was now able to do more, he could use the toys as well, making it great.
Once the bit with the chores was dealt with, Sirius promised that he wouldn't allow any of those in the house to talk to him the way they did. This time Harry didn't say anything because if Sirius said it was wrong, he was going to believe him. And then it stopped, fast, even in Dudley as they all seemed to have learned from the other parts. No, they didn't start talking to him like they did to Dudley, but the names stopped. That was great by him. The only downside was that they didn't talk to him at all unless they were telling him to do something. In his mind, that was fine and it didn't bother him, though it seemed to annoy Sirius. However, as Sirius pointed out, it was better than the names. It didn't bother him, really, as he now had Sirius to talk to. That was far better than anyone else in the house. Besides, he loved knowing he had a friend unlike any the rest in the house did. Dudley had friends, of course, but they weren't like Sirius. His were more of the stupid sort that would do what Dudley wanted. His aunt and uncle didn't seem to have many friends. The ones they did have were the kind they liked to show off to or gossip with, not close. So, he was content and happy.
Once all that was in place, minor things were fixed, what Sirius said was for him. First of that was his clothes. Only a day of those minor bad things when his aunt tried to force more of Dudley's old stuff on him had him a bunch of brand new clothes that actually fit. There was grumbling about the money spent on him, but that didn't last more than an hour after Vernon tripped over one of Dudley's toys and hit his head on the settee. Then came him getting enough to eat. One minor accident with his aunt after she refused to let Harry eat all he wanted had him getting proper meals. He got new glasses, an allowance, though much smaller than Dudley's, a library card, all the things that others took for granted. No, he didn't get gifts like Dudley or paid attention to, but he was good with what he had. He was also allowed go to the play park, walk around, all the other bits normal kids did. Sure, it was odd for someone his age to walk to the library or park alone, and there were a few adults that commented on it when they saw him, but he was safe with Sirius by his side. Sirius helped him pick out wonderful books, toys, candy and all kinds of things. Life was good thanks to Sirius.
Then came the biggest changes that stunned even Harry.
Aunt Marge was someone that Sirius really didn't like. That was clear from the first time that he had seen her. Between her attitude, what she said to him and her dog, Mangler, Sirius snarled. Like most things in his life, Harry just shrugged it off as that's the way it had always been and was normal. Then Mangler took after him. If it wasn't for Sirius picking him up after the dog chased him into the living room, something Sirius could do by then, he was sure he would have been bitten. It was then that Sirius vowed to make it stop.
Shortly before Christmas, Aunt Marge had died. While he overheard his aunt and uncle tell Dudley then knowing they had gone to the funeral, he hadn't learned more than that until he overheard a few of the neighbors gossiping. It seemed that Aunt Marge had been killed by Mangler. From what was said, though he wasn't sure if it was true, the dog had attacked her in the middle of the night after getting loose. It was then he was really upset for the first time, wondering if Sirius had caused it.
That night, while alone as the other three in the house were gone to the wake, he asked Sirius about it because he had been gone the night she died, saying he had something to do. Sirius assured him that he didn't cause what went on. While he admitted he let the dog loose, what went on wasn't his fault. He explained that Aunt Marge had problems with the authorities when it came to that dog because he had learned it had attacked other people. So, she was supposed to keep it tied up at all times. That Harry could really understand because of what he dealt with when it came to the dog. The next thing Sirius explained he could understand as well because he had seen it; how she let the dog drink scotch.
That was something the dog had done every time it came over. From what Sirius told him, she had let the dog drink lots of scotch that night to the point that the dog was drunk. As Harry had seen drunks before, he knew what they were like. Some were the really happy sort that nothing bothered and they laughed. Others, though, weren't, getting mean and nasty. Mangler was the kind that got very nasty after he drank the scotch, hence the reason he had tried to attack him. What Sirius explained was that the dog was really drunk and when Marge tried to get him off her other dog, Ripper, he turned on her then attacked. He hadn't caused that. Marge had, partially, knowing what the dog was like and letting it drink the scotch. And most everyone knew that you didn't get in the middle of two dogs that were really fighting as they might turn on you, especially if one was like Mangler and mean. Thinking it over, Harry understood and was relieved. If all Sirius had done was let Mangler loose, he didn't cause it. Marge could control Mangler, that he had seen, even if he drank. So, there must have been something really wrong.
He had let Sirius soothe him on the topic, believing him when he swore he didn't kill Marge. Part of him was actually relieved that he didn't have to deal with that dog anymore as Mangler had really scared him. In general, he adored animals and wasn't frightened by them, but Mangler was the kind he was afraid of because the dog liked to try to hurt him. Marge had found it funny. So had the others in his family. That made him feel bad. Sirius promised that he wouldn't let any other animal do that again. Harry believed that because Sirius was taking such good care of him.
The next event was the biggest of them all; Uncle Vernon died.
That was one that Harry didn't question Sirius about as he had heard what happened when the police came. The company car that Vernon had been driving and leaving out so that the neighbors would be impressed by it had been having brake problems. He knew that Vernon had an appointment in the shop with it the following day as his uncle had been grumbling about shoddy workmanship and how people were lazy, not doing their jobs right anymore. Rather than leave it at home and take the family car, he drove the company car to work. After work, he had gone to a pub for a few drinks with a client. From what he heard, Vernon had been legally drunk when driving home then hit a wet patch on the pavement. With the brakes not working right and him being drunk, no one needed to explain to Harry what happened.
That week Harry had been left alone a lot. There were tons of people over of course, as his aunt and Dudley were beside themselves, so Harry had sat on the stairs, staying out of sight, of course, and listened to what went on as he wasn't supposed to come down. What he heard was that Vernon wasn't as liked as his aunt and Dudley thought. In fact, from all he heard, with Sirius making sure he listened in to what was said, people despised his uncle, calling him a cruel, nasty man that was hated at work. It seemed that Sirius wasn't the only one that didn't like his uncle.
The time between Vernon's death and his wake was odd for Harry. He sat on the stairs and listened to so much, not being included. However, plenty came to see him. The neighbors that popped in came up, making sure Aunt Petunia didn't see them, then would sit and talk to him, making sure to bring him food or a drink. It was the same with those that worked with Uncle Vernon. Sirius told him, as he sat there, that many seemed to understand he had been forgotten and neglected in the whole mess and wanted to make sure he was fine. That he did like. In his own way he would miss Uncle Vernon, but he was dealing with it. Dudley and Aunt Petunia were very upset and sad, of course, something he understood, but he kept to himself, not trying to talk to them as he didn't think that would end well.
During that awful time, Harry was forgotten by the two, left to deal with so much by himself. That was fine and he didn't mind it. There was plenty of food for him to eat as so many visitors brought it over. He knew how to do laundry, so he took care of that. Sirius made sure to get him up and off to school as his aunt hadn't called him in as being out like she had for Dudley. All those things he either handled or Sirius helped him with. At times, the neighbors could come by to check on him or bring him a meal. A few times they had him stop on the way back from school to have him sit for a while and talk, giving him a snack, checking to make sure he was fine. Of course he was and told them that. There were times he heard talk on the way home, people saying it was nasty of his aunt to not bother to take him to the visitation or funeral for his uncle, but he didn't mind it. They spoke of closure, but he had that. Uncle Vernon was gone like his parents, something he accepted. Plus, he had Sirius to talk to about it. That helped. It wasn't that there weren't a few tears over it, but he moved on.
After all that, things in the house changed, a lot. Though Uncle Vernon left them a good deal of money, Aunt Petunia had to take a part-time job to help. So, she was gone while they were in school and tired when they came home. For the most part, she ignored him completely, other than asking him to do something small to help, like grab something. She focused on Dudley for the most part. That was fine with him as Sirius paid plenty of attention to him and he liked Sirius better anyway.
Dudley was different. Dudley—the only way to describe him was angry all the time. That wasn't something Harry understood. Dudley was angry a lot, especially when he didn't get his way, didn’t get something he wanted or someone wouldn't do something he wanted, but this was different. He was angry enough that he was scary. In school he was getting in lots of trouble because of it. Thankfully, Dudley was leaving him alone, but even his friends were staying away from him. Sirius explained that sometimes when you hurt, you got angry and it manifested that way. In Dudley's case, he was hurt because his dad was gone. Though Harry didn't completely understand that, he did know enough that he felt a bit sorry for Dudley. Oh, he didn't tell him that as it was best to avoid him right now, but he did. All he hoped was that it would work itself out in the end.
For Harry, as he thought about the events, after turning seven a few days before, it had been a year unlike anything he had ever experienced. Though there was some bad, he adored the good more, allowing him to deal with the worst of it. Sirius promised to stay with him always and help, so he was fine. And he trusted Sirius, more than he did anyone else. With Sirius there, he would be safe and protected form everyone.

Lying in bed one night shortly after Harry's seventh birthday, something that was once more ignored by those in the house, Sirius held his godson close. Oh, holding him didn't feel like it did when he held someone before his body vanished, but it felt good. Harry was safe in his arms, something he adored. Not to mention it felt wonderful, something even better.

Thinking over the events of the year, Sirius was pleased. Though the house wasn't a loving, caring one he would have chosen for Harry, it was better than it had been the year before. That he could accept. If people didn't get stupid with his godson, he wouldn't have to step in. For now, it was good. He was just worried about Petunia when she finally got over her grief over Vernon's death. That would be iffy. It didn't matter, though, he would handle it if she did something foolish.
Turning over to spoon up against Harry's back when his godson flopped onto his side, muttering in his sleep, Sirius smiled and stroked the little boy's head, holding him close. This was good and right. He could protect Harry this way and make sure he had the best life anyone could give him. It would be even better when he got to Hogwarts. For now, he just had to focus on Harry.
Shutting his eyes, he let Harry's energy and magic flow into him. It was a steadier, more powerful flow than it had been when he started, something that energized him more, allowing him to do more and more with each passing day. Soon he wouldn't need the shadows to move, something that would help him. It would also make it easier to help Harry. Whatever that darkness that was contained somewhere in Harry was, it helped, tremendously. The little boy was powerful, but so was that. Between the two, he could get as close to having a body as one could manage in this form. At some point, he would even be able to manifest his old one for a time. Well, until he could take the step that would give it back to him forever. That he would manage at some point as well. He just had to wait for Harry to get to the right age for that to happen.
Not opening his eyes, he gave Harry a kiss on the head and a squeeze then sighed. Life was good and he was now doing what his old friends wanted him to. That's all that mattered to him. Harry would always be protected, just how he promised so long ago.
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Harry\'s Shadow