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Garden of Lilies	By : sappysappysappy Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Lily Views: 7889 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Characters and world of Harry Potter do not belong to me and I'll not be pocketing stashes of money from it either!

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10^th November, 1981 (Tuesday)

I never believed in good fortune, maybe for others but for me… no. But by Mordred's eyes, I'm one lucky bastard tonight. Oh Lily, what would we do if we were discovered? Almost, almost… no, I won't dwell on frightful horrid might-have-beens, Lily. I will not worry you. But you are a naughty, curious creature. Always have been. No one will deny it, least of all I. That's how we got acquainted after all. So, 'what happened, Sevvie?' you ask? And 'why you do that to me, Sev, that wasn't very nice.' Well, you see, Dumbledore came by last night and I had to hide you. Had to. It was a close call. Luckily I do have a lot of boltholes here and managed to conceal you, my Lily, just in time. Oh, Lily, it was still close. I must be more careful from now on. I can't let anyone find my Lily. I know you'll forgive me the indignity, my dear… you learned your lessen after all. Marrying stupid-face Potter. You did that just to spite me, didn't you? See where that got you? So this time you know what you have to do. Say it. 'I forgive you. I was wrong and you were right. I'm just stupid that way. Won't you forgive me, Sev? Please. Please forgive me. You're always right and I shouldn't be so sensitive.' That's good, Lils. I do forgive you and now everything's better. See how easy that was?

But Dumbledore. I haven't finished telling you the half of it. He promised me he'll give me his protection during the trials. I haven't even thought about that. Not that he did it out of kindness. Never him. He went on and on about how I was still needed. That Voldemort would come back some day, that the hateful prophecy was not yet finished. Oh how he tried to push my buttons. He was like a child hammering with both fists on the keys of a pianoforte. Voldemort deserves everything I can throw at him and more after what he did (the monster!) but I was almost tempted to switch back after enduring this new Dumbledism. He had the gall to claim there's these supposed life-debts to James Potter that somehow transferred to that blighted baby. It's insane, on so many levels. Revenge at least makes sense, not that he called it that, of course. Not hoity-toity Dumbledore. It was 'The need to finally put an end, no matter cost, to he who murdered our beloved Lily'. (He gleefully informed me Black was already caught and thrown into Azkaban for turning you in. So, according to our Headmaster, he would be forever beyond my reach and therefore I needed to focus all my so opprobrious hatred on Voldemort. You kept me so busy these last few days I didn’t consider Black's part in your downfall, ironically enough. I just assumed Voldemort tortured the information out of him. But it’s Black we’re talking about. I should have known. The man's as black-hearted as his name.) Above all, he tried to make your mongrel of a boy, this Harry fucking Potter a symbol of you, Lily, that I must cherish and protect at all costs to keep something of you alive and of course to honor 'her wishes'. Laughable. He could as well compare a stinking swamp, no, a cesspit to the gleaming sun. How he blabbered about him. I could puke if I weren't so angry. I know you were fond of him with a mother's blindness but I hope you can see now what a moronic mistake that was. I pretended to cave in to his twisted worldview just to get him away. Said I'll name some names when I appear in court and ‘ever keep my ears craned for the word of His return.’ I need to stay free after all if I am to keep you company, Lily. We'll be so happy together. You'll see. No one will come between us. Not Voldemort, not Dumbledore, not James Rotting Potter, and not stinking, mewling Potter Jr.

There was something else. I thought my short career as a schoolteacher was over, hah hah, but Dumbledore wants me back under his thumb as soon as he can manage it. Once the judges declare me not very guilty I'll have to return to Hogwarts. How can I hide my beautiful Lily in the middle of hectic child-infested Hogwarts? I can't bear to part with my Lily after having her finally these last few days.

I need a strategy.

12^th November, 1981 (Thursday)

Well, that was underwhelming. I went to the Ministry, sat a few hours in the London hold exchanging glares with Mad-Eye Moody and Barty's dad, Mr. Crouch, then brought to the dungeon-court and set free (under Dumbledore's supervision of course) just like that. I didn't even need to name any names or confess regrets for my loathsome deeds. Dumbledore vouched for me and they all nodded like stupid marionettes. I think he wants to keep all the precious information in his own grubby hands. If names shall be named, they will be uttered by Dumbledore's mouth, with only vague 'I have my sources' to support them. Whatever. I'm a free man now and it's Lily-time, hah hah. I don’t know why I even bothered sitting down to write these words when you are awaiting me upstairs.

It’s evening now. I can’t stop looking at you, my dear, dear Lily. You’re so beautiful, Lily, so perfect, so soft. So pliant, and unresisting and yet… and yet. Am I greedy to covet more? Is it avarice to desire, well, the spark of life in your breast? It sounds so pretentious when I write that down. But I do want it. And I do intend on having it, no matter the cost! Is it pretentious to miss that special sparkle in the corner of your eye, to give you back that carefree giggle that was so… you? No. It is a necessity.

I will not have you till you have those things, to return my affections with. It’s worth it, to hear you give voice to your long suppressed need for me. You’ll give me then in gratitude all that I’ve yearned for. So I must abstain. I must tamp down this raging lust that threatens to overwhelm me now more than ever. Soon, I’ll have it all. I must not ravish you in your current state. Not again. Today was merely a moment of weakness, Lilly. You understand. How could I resist you? I’m only human and you were so unresisting. It’s a compliment, really. When I got back with the taste of freedom in my mouth and saw you, lying there in my bed, so perfect, so ready… I couldn’t resist. I wonder what you’ll think when I raise you. I had to stop myself from giggling. Will the soreness in your nethers and, well… other parts, the innocuous results of my little (well deserved!) transgression clue you in on what we did? How your eyes will widen with the realization. We did it. Finally, after all these years and you didn’t even know. I was good with you. Loving. How I kissed and kissed and kissed you. On your soft, fine lips and your smooth, long neck and your breasts! You malleable, freckly breasts. I couldn’t get enough of them. I worshiped your breasts with my lips and teeth and fingers. They are just as long and chilly as you remember them but you warmed them for me (I know! It’s just a warming charm but still!) and I didn’t desist at that oh so lovely elevation. I knew all of you today. Every inch and every angle with everything I am and I was firm, but gentle, patient but ardent. Oh so ardent. I knew your nipples. I knew your clit. I knew the little mole beside your clit. I knew your little toes both right and left. I knew you ear, inside, behind, beneath and above with tongue and teeth and even with my naughties. I’ve sown you deep and hard and full. I’ve been inside your cunt, I’ve rammed your mouth and throat, I’ve cuddled betwixt your giving breasts. My ejaculate now coats various parts of you. It drips from your reddened cunt, it melts upon your tongue, it coats your breasts, your belly and your perfect buttocks. It bubbles in your ear. The thick knots of your hair I drafted for the wiping of my exhausted cock in the in betweens. Proud to be so anointed it must be, my dearest Lily. Will you feel all that when you wake? Could you deny it? Maybe I should read you then this tawdry little chapter in my diary. I can’t wait to see your expression then.

I shouldn’t laugh. You know, when I began to write it, I intended to apologize for doing this. This marvelous, unsuspecting body of yours didn’t deserve, well, me, I thought. You needed to give me your consent, to make amends to me. But I can’t apologize. I won’t. I’ve waited too long, longing for this moment to come and I was good to you. Why did you never bequeath this gift to me? Why did you have to throw it all away for Potter? I deserved better. I was always there for you. You used to despise Potter. I’ve tried to apologized for so long and you never deigned to notice. So I won’t apologize. You’ll see no weak, craven shame in me this time. So there.

13^th November, 1981 (Friday)

I had a little more Lily-fun this morning. I know I promised but I couldn’t stop myself and I was quick. Just a few exquisite thrusts with her hands and legs stickied together around me. I needed it. I was so hard when I woke on top of you. But I should control myself. If I don’t stop, how focused can I be on bringing her back to life? After yesterday I feel lethargic. And it’s not just about bringing her back. I still haven’t hidden her well enough. If I don’t do better, sooner or later someone will discover her, maybe even, heh heh, in flagranti. So control yourself Severus Snape!

I’ve had some thoughts regarding Lily’s security from prying eyes. I've not been the useless idle piece of snot that Dumbledore believes I am, that piece of snot for Dumbledore to knead thoughtfully on his thumb and stick in convenient places when no one is looking. I've been busy. I've cogitated on how to ensure your safety. At first I tried to lay hands on stupid Potter's Invisibility Cloak but it wasn't at your house. Someone must have nicked it already, probably Dumbledore. I considered going to Knockturn Alley and buy one of my own but today I had a better idea. Those cloaks are ridiculously expensive after all. Why not take a page from Dumbledore. He may not be a great human being, not by a long shot, but he is a great wizard. If he hid you with a Fidelius Charm for more than a year, why can't I? I'm now the proud Secret Keeper of the abandoned house next door. Connecting it to mine after that was child's play. I can now come to you through the secret door in my bedroom closet, appear from behind the third bookcase in my living room and even barge through the basement sink to your basement. The very special basement where I will raise you to be mine in life as well as in death. After I transfer you to your new lodgings, nothing in Spinner’s End will hint at your presence.

Author’s Note: Sevvy couldn’t keep it in his pants after all. But he’s still determined to maybe do better and definitely bring her back to life. On the other hand, he’s not so depressed so much any more. Is he madder or just horny? You tell me.

Thank you DinaTheCat and JayDee for your reviews.
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Garden of Lilies