Feeling Numb | By : Elocin_the_elven_princess Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 6432 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own HP or any likeness to the characters, they belong to JK Rowling. I also make no money from any of my stories. Rated to be safe for future installments. |
Hermione sat for a long while after her work shift started that Monday. She’d been thinking about what had happened Saturday night. Of all the bloody people she’d had to run into it had been Draco sodding Malfoy. And he’d made sure she got home safe! She was furious and nervous.
Draco had always made her feel out of control and angry. He’d always been able to push her buttons even though she tried to be reasonable. She’d broken down in front of him and he didn’t make fun of her, Strange when her once nemesis was not the one to ridicule her and be cruel.
She began working once more on the project proposal for the new legislation on Giant Welfare and Housing. She had been going through the paperwork for hours when her stomach rumbled and she sighed, pushing the papers away.
Standing she started towards the ministry’s cafeteria, only to recall Draco’s assignment to her, ‘Do one thing to make yourself smile this week.’ She grimaced and made a face.
She went to the loo and opened the purse, drinking down one of the little shot bottles of vodka wishing it was after work already.
She tidied herself in the mirror and deciding to forgo the cafeteria walked to the ministry elevators. She walked into the lift and seconds before the door closed a hand reached out and opened the doors once more.
She lifted her eyes to meet brilliant green ones as the dark haired boy who’d once been her best friend stepped in to join her on her journey to the atrium to floo outside the Ministry to Diagon Alley.
“How’s everything Harry?” She said stiffly. Knowing she’d not spoken to him since she left Ron. Avoided his owls knowing he’d be on Ron’s side because he’s married Ginny and his new wife hated her.
“Things are alright I suppose. Ginny had our son James about six months ago, but she’s really focusing on getting back to the Harpies so Molly and Adromeda watch him a lot.
“How’s Teddy?” Hermione asked as Adromeda’s name brought on the image of Remus and Tonk’s lifeless forms lying next to one another after the battle.
“He takes after Tonks, incredibly clumsy and a Metamorphmagus.” Harry chuckled a bit at something he remembered Teddy doing. Hermione grinned despite herself.
“Maybe I could stop and see them one day soon?” Hermione asked, creaking her shell open just a bit, hoping not to be rejected again. Harry looked at her, really looked at her. His mouth was set in a grim line, like he’d had a million things weighing on him.
Being a Leading Auror and secretly an unspeakable was a lot on his plate. The trouble he was having with Ginny not wanting her son and constantly leaving Harry alone to raise him was also getting to him. He was exhausted and felt like a single parent. He didn’t know why Hermione had chosen today of all days to talk to him again but he felt a slight weight life from him at her question.
She wanted to have him in her life again. He had missed his best friend. It’d been a while before he realized what Ron had done to her. Broken her down, and tried to force her to do something before she was ready. It had taken Harry months to pry out the true details of what happened from Ron, but when he’d pieced it together he was appalled.
He realized something must have happened to Hermione during the war to make her act like that. He’d seen it in the abuse cases he came across in his job. Funny enough he worked with Malfoy on occasion, sending those cases to him for Mind Healing.
“Sure Hermione, I’d like that. Are you heading to lunch?” Harry hedged. She nodded. “Want to join me, I’m heading to the new café down the street that just opened up. Wouldn’t mind catching up a bit.”
“I’d love to.” Hermione felt the pressure that had been building in her chest lift and smiled her first genuine smile in a long while.
After the two walked into the new café, wonderfully modern and clean. Bright yellows and greens meeting their eyes. Fresh flowers on the tables and booths that looked as comfortable as they felt. They were seated at a table towards the window where they could peer out the front window and watch the passerby’s as they rushed to do their shopping.
A pretty waitress came up and took their order and Harry and Hermione chatted and giggled about different things. Mostly it was Harry that told her of an almost four year old Teddy’s antics. How much trouble could a clumsy Metamorphmagus get into? The answer, quite a lot.
“…so then he had crawled under the sofa, morphed his face into that of a duck and kept poking his bill out from the bottom attacking all of Adromeda’s fancy guests that had been sitting on it. Hermione, you’d never see a woman shriek as loud as this one. Her face turned bloody purple and she jumped almost three feet in the air.” Hermione gasped, her sides heaving with laughter.
“Oh, that’s so funny! I can’t believe Teddy did that! I would have loved to have seen it!” Hermione giggled. Harry put some coins down, and held his hand as they made their way back to the Ministry. They continued to chat about random things, both ignoring the elephant in the room whose name was Ron, as they made their way back to their floor and parted ways.
Hermione smiled for the first time in years, talking to Harry was like a breath of fresh air she hadn’t known she needed. Her assignment was brought to the forefront of her mind and she smirked in a Malfoy fashion.
‘There you go Malfoy, first week’s assignment is complete, I’ve done something to make me smile.’ She thought. She pushed all thoughts and musings aside as she forced herself to complete the legislation she’d been working on all morning, and most of last week. The rights of the Giants and their housing needed to be addressed and protected.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Monday and Tuesday had gone much in the same fashion, Harry had owled Hermione early Tuesday asking if she was able to do lunch again, she owled her agreement. After that they planned their lunches together the rest of the week. By Friday she was sleeping a bit better, managing about two hours before resulting to her usually methods of drinking herself to sleep. She also felt a sense of energy she hadn’t know she possessed.
Having friends really mattered it seemed. Something to actually look forward to, her lunch with Harry, where she’d hear about Adromeda Tonk’s grandson, climbing bookshelves, changing his features to scare little ladies.
Teddy’s constant mischief that seemed all the more amusing because he mucked even simple tasks up with his inherited trait of clumsiness. He was definitely Nymphadora’s child.
“Hermione! Want to eat at that café we are at on Monday?” Harry asked excitedly as they made their way to the floo in the atrium. She smiled again and nodded.
Seated in the corner booth the two of them were in deep conversation about James and how fussy he had been the night before when a familiar voice fell over them.
“Harry! Nice to see you out for lunch. And Hermione, you look lovely as ever.” Neville’s tall form stood next to their booth. “I’ve got some good news Hermione, if you wanted to owl me, we can discuss it. I couldn’t pass up mentioning it before getting my table with Hannah. You know what it regards.” He suggested and Hermione nodded. Harry looked confused between the two of them.
“Thanks Nev, I will, give Hannah my love.” Hermione said on autopilot as gloom settled in her stomach. Neville Longbottom had married Hannah Abbott after they graduated from Healer training together.
Her parents were under the care of St. Mungo’s Janus Thickey Ward. Hannah and Neville were both healers, though Neville wanted the herbology position that would be opening up in the next year at Hogwarts. Professor Sprout was retiring.
“What was that about?” Harry asked. Hermione shrugged, her depression making an appearance for the first time all week in front of Harry. He put his hand on hers and she smiled a tight smile.
“They work on the same ward my parents’ are now in at St. Mungos. They live in the Janus Thickey Ward now. I tried to reverse the spell, it didn’t work.” Hermione whispered trying not to cry, keeping a lopsided grin on her face so the public couldn’t see how truly distressed she was. Harry though was a different story, he knew her.
“Sorry Hermione, I…I didn’t realize that you didn’t have them back.” He said quietly. They sat in an awkward silence as they finished their plates. Hermione took the time to place coins on the table this time for their meals.
“You know, James may be teething, which is why he’s giving you such a hard time at night, maybe I could bring by some teething soothers?” She smiled brightly, remembering the subject they’d been talking about before the awkwardness. Harry smiled again.
“How about tonight? Ginny said she was having to help Molly for a few hours and would most likely be staying over, since James is at Adromeda’s tonight I suppose Molly has Ginny helping with clearing out the burrow.”
“Sure, but it’ll be late. I have a meeting tonight at 8….” She trailed off not sure if she wanted to tell Harry she was seeing Malfoy for therapy….sorry, Mind Healing sessions. She almost snorted….almost.
“Sure, anytime. No work tomorrow. You can even sleep in your old room. We haven’t messed with it, I locked it up so no one would bother your things.” Harry said trying to keep the mood light, still not wanting to address the fact that they’d been estranged for two years.
“That’d be great. I’ll pack an overnight bag. Maybe tomorrow I could visit Teddy?” She smiled as he agreed.
XXXXXXXXXX
Hermione paced in her home. Draco had owled telling her he’d meet her here tonight, then they could make arrangements to meet at his private office, he’d be taking her there tonight so that she would be able to get there from now on. Draco arrived a few minutes before 8.
Coming through her fireplace banishing the ashes from him with a sweep of his wand. Hermione picked up her purse and overnight bag.
“Ready?” He asked eyeing the overnight bag, his eyebrow raising in question. Hermione said nothing, flicking her wand to lock her home, turn off everything and to place the extra wards. She then turned to Draco, took his arm and he took a handful of the floo powder.
“Malfoy Office” Was his destination. She went through first and he followed afterwards. She took a look around as he waved his wand once more to clear them both of ashes. She hadn’t even thought about it. She felt her heart constricting as an unknown fear came over her.
“Wh…Where are w…we?” She asked starting to shake. She knew where she was, she could feel it. They were at the Manor, some unknown part of his home. Granted it was breathtaking and remodeled. Warm and inviting, she just instinctively knew it was near the location of her worse nightmares.
“My private office. It’s in the Manor, only available to a select few that have to be let in by me personally. You now have apparation abilities to come into this office, though you can’t leave this room to venture to other parts of the Manor, you are able to apparate to and from this room freely. You can leave at any time, and are able to come at times.”
Draco seemed to think for a second before adding, “I currently only have you as a private client, but if I pick up another this room will only be accessable to you during the times I’m not with someone else.” Draco told her.
Hermione nodded. She felt pressure and tried not to think about being in the same place where most of her nightmares began. Draco placed a hand and led her to a sofa to sit beside her. It was a light blue sofa that went well with the white and dark brown of the room and wood accents.
The sofa, and a matching chair made up half the room near the fireplace. A mahogany desk, the same dark brown as the woodwork within the room sat unimposing on the opposite side of the room with a very nice black leather office chair. The room was carpeted in a light blue a shade darker than the sofa and chair. Hermione noticed it was a very subtle but relaxing color scheme.
Hermione was nervous, she wasn’t sure what she should be saying or not saying to Malfoy.
“So, how was your week?” Draco began. Hermione was hesitant but took a breath, gathering her courage.
“I finished the Giant legislation I have been working on for a few weeks, and started another proposal on Centaur land disputes today.” She said thinking work would be the safest topic. She’d drank an Irish cream spiked tea before her meeting to give her a little courage. She knew he’d make her bring up some topics she really really didn’t want to discuss.
“So you enjoy your position in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures?” He asked her sincerely
“I do, I feel like I’m making some headway for those who need our help. I’ve also been revising quite a few biased legislation and policy to make way for a new era in the wizarding community.” She said haughtily. Draco’s eyebrow rose slightly.
“Oh? That’s quite a feat. Did you work on the homework I gave you this week?”
“I made myself smile every day. I reconnected with an old friend and they made me smile and laugh quite a bit.” Hermione smiled at the fact that she and Harry were going to be hanging out again once she left here.
Draco noticed the light come back in her eyes. She seemed happier when she mentioned her friend. He’d heard rumors around the Auror office that Potter had been sighted with an attractive brunette several times this week and Draco could only assume that it was Potter that Hermione had reconnected with.
“How long had it been since you ‘disconnected’ with the friend?” He continued trying to break her out of her comfort zone.
“Two years. I’ve missed so much of their life. Their wedding and the birth of their child. The antics of their godson, who I’ve known since birth. I was so closed off from people I forgot how good it was to talk and enjoy the simple things.” She smiled.
Draco knew for sure then it had been Potter, he constantly regaled the office with funny antics his cousin Teddy did. Just the other day he scared the daylights out of Mrs. Parkinson who’d been over visiting with his mother and her sister by morphing into a duck and nipping at Pansy’s mother’s ankles.
Draco had wished he could have been a fly on the wall because his mother refused to let him see it in the pensieve. Pansy had owled him telling him that her mother had taken all of the ducks from their pond and donated them to the nearest reservation. Draco smiled.
“So let’s delve into those feelings about the reconnection.” Draco continued leading the session.
Almost an hour later they’d made some headway. He had discovered that Hermione was genuinely trying to reconnect with the world. She’s stopped drinking every night, at least until time for bed.
She also opened up a little about how much Ron had broken her spirit by putting her down. She was very excited to be meeting Harry’s son and couldn’t wait to see her old room at his house. He’d been such an important part of her life growing up and couldn’t wait to visit again.
Draco held reservations he didn’t express when it came to her staying over at a married man’s home, especially when Draco had firsthand knowledge that said man was having trouble with his wife.
Draco knew that Ginny had been out with Astoria and Daphne Greengrass a few times partying at a few of the muggle clubs that the Slytherin’s used to frequent. Blaise had told him just the other day what a fiery redhead she was.
“So you’re homework this week and for the weekend is to do some soul searching, figure out “triggers” for your problems. Reasons why you want to drink and then find reasons not to.” Draco said.
Hermione’s eyes flashed angrily. Then she realized he was right. She didn’t want to admit it. She nodded glaring at him. Draco tried not to smirk inwardly. He’d hit a nerve. Something she was trying not to make a big deal about but alcohol was clearly something she used as a vice for her troubles.
Hermione turned to leave and as she stepped towards the fireplace and took a handful of powder Draco’s voice stopped her.
“Granger, make sure to write those triggers down so we can possibly discuss some of them next session. Good work today.”
XXXXXXXX
Harry had been pacing and rubbing James’ back for about 2 hours, the bottle long since empty, Harry’s stomach rumbling, another late night meal because he couldn’t put James down for more than a minute without him screaming. Harry rocked him as he paced, patting the six month’s old back as he tried to burp or comfort the kid, hoping something worked and the fussy baby would calm.
12 Grimmauld Place had been cleaned up, the wallpaper and floors replaced, the woodwork throughout updated and replaced or repaired. Kreacher had been appalled at the changes, but eventually helped Harry remove Mrs. Black’s portrait from the wall and she now resided in the attic where Kreacher had moved to so he could still talk to his old mistress.
Harry had employed one other house elf, a female named Gemma. She’d been displaced when her masters had perished in the war and Harry employed her after coming across her during Auror training.
The floo fired and Hermione stepped into the chaos that had become Harry’s life as of late. She looked around with wide eyes.
“Wow, this is amazing.” Awe evident in her voice. Harry smiled a tight smile. He was beyond exhausted. He had had a trying day at work, picked up James from Andromeda’s and came home intending to do a quiet dinner before Hermione got here. He’d been thinking they could hand out, play cards or maybe play a muggle board game like Monopoly or Candyland. Something he hadn’t been able to do since Ginny and Ron didn’t like to play muggle games.
“Thanks.” She looked at Harry, his hair was even more unruly than before and his eyes had red blood vessels that seemed to be forming before her own eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept and had a five o’clock shadow on his usually clean-shaven face. He looked beyond tired. She then saw the beautiful raven haired baby that fussed in his arms.
“Here’s the teether.” Hermione pulled out a small blue elephant that had spindly rubber legs. She sanitized it and gave it to Harry. Harry placed it into James hands and immediately the infant pushed one of the legs into his mouth and began to chew and drool. His eyes drooping for the first time in hours.
“You have no idea how much he needed that.” Harry said as he was able to place the child in a playpen in the drawing room corner for the first time tonight. “Want something to eat?”
Hermione smiled, nodding. She watched the baby chew, drool, and then watched in fascination as the bright green eyes drooped and closed and the baby slept. She hadn’t even realized Harry had brought in a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches and a cup of tomato soup until he spoke.
“Good to see you again Hermione. Sorry it’s so late. Andromeda said we could come by after lunch tomorrow to visit, so I thought we could hang out and watch a new movie on the tv.” Harry had put in some muggle appliances like a TV, sound system, and video games. When Ron came home on breaks they’d play for hours, much to Ginny’s displeasure.
“That’d be great.” She said as she sat and ate. The two of them ate in pleasant conversation. They talked about things from work, both had heard about Ernie McMillian being caught in the copy room with Millicent Bulstrode.
“Who knew!?!” Harry exclaimed laughing.
“Oh, when Mr. Weldron came back from his break his face was so contorted it would have put a furious Snape to shame.” Hermione gasped between peals of laughter.
“So Hermione, how are you?” Harry asked getting serious. She took a second to come back from her giddiness.
“Getting better Harry.” She said smiling happily.
“Good. Any boyfriends?” She tensed a little. Harry noticed and wondered at it.
“No. Not since Ron actually. It’s been really difficult to get past….well the past. But I have someone helping me through it now.” She tried to be vague, not wanting to make the night uncomfortable but knew that they’d avoided the topic during the week.
“I’m glad that someone had been there for you Hermione. I’m sorry I was such a git.” He giggled a little nervously avoiding her eyes.
“Oh, Harry, it’s fine. It is a more recent development. For a while I was coping but it all culminated and I ended up running into an acquaintance and they talked me into thinking about moving forward. It’s been good Harry, really good, so far.”
“Well, good then.” Harry said finally meeting her eyes. They sat in an awkward silence for about a minute before Harry brought out a board game and they proceeded to play. After Hermione won for having the most property and they were all out of money Harry guided her to her room and lifted the locking spell he’d cast ages ago.
He’d had to lock it up after Ginny had wanted to throw out all of the brunette’s things and use the room as an extra closet. Harry wanted Hermione and Ron both to always have a place to stay, because of school and them going with him during seventh year, it was the very least he could do.
Offering them some sort of permanence and stability in their life. He felt he owed them that much at least. Hermione opened the door and giggled at the way things looked exactly the same. A little remodeled because of the upgrades in the paint and woodwork but still had her things, her bookshelf and books.
She picked up her old copy of ‘Hogwarts, A History’ and laughed.
“I haven’t read this in ages!” She already opened it and plopped onto her childhood bed. Harry grinned at her.
“Goodnight Hermione. I’ll be down the hall in the drawing room with James until he gets up again, then we will make our way to the third floor where the master room and nursery are.”
“Goodnight Harry. Thanks. James is so precious. Weird having you as a dad yeah?” She mused, he grinned.
“Definitely.” And with that he was back down the hall leaving Hermione in the room she used to share with Ginny amongst her childhood belongings.
______________________________________________________________
***** I don’t own the characters from Harry Potter nor do I make a profit on this work. All plot regarding the books and movies are owned by JK Rowling and her constituents and no copyright is intended. The plot for this story and any original characters however are owned by this author. *****
I will try to update once a week, usually by Wednesday. Reviews are helpful. Feedback is always appreciated, as is criticism, so long as it is constructive.
The romance between Draco and Hermione will be slow. I have some very wonderful scenes that are of mature content ready in the wings for when they finally get down to “business”. Hah.
I’ll try not to put too many of these remarks in as I don’t like to take away from the story. Still looking for a Beta if someone is interested PM me please. Enjoy!
~Elocin
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