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It Wouldn't Even Matter	By : Eloise Downbadde Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 2081 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters - i just referenced the books from a different perspective

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
- 3
It Wouldn't Even Matter
Chapter 2: His Mistake
Draco stormed over with all the presence of a looming storm and Pucey snapped his head in his direction. The blonde was shorter than him and skipping his meals had left him quite gangly and thin but his intimidation would never fail him. Granger finally turned her eyes to him and he loathed that a flash of fear crossed them.
"What's going on here, mate?" Draco drawled, keeping his gaze heavy and enjoying that his housemate fumbled a bit.
"Nothing, Malfoy." Draco noticed that he shifted closer and looked Granger in the eye, possibly glaring at her, based on the change from stubborn resistance to fury in her eyes. He also glanced that his massive hand on her shoulder moved an inch over her collarbone, getting a little too close to her throat for his liking. His other hand had bunched up her skirt and shirt against her stomach and he felt nausea swirl in his belly. "I've only just ran into the Mudblood and-"
He didn't let him finish his sentence. He grabbed the boy's forearm that had pinned Granger and forcefully bent it back in a very unnatural bend. He saw her wince from the corner of his eye. Draco wasn't a fool. He knew they were teenagers and he knew Granger was a delicious young woman. It's not too far of a stretch to assume the 7th year Slytherin was planning unsavory activities with her but it made his stomach curl in disgust. Pucey raised his other hand in submission and started to sweat but didn't speak nor scream. His knees buckled and his lips pressed tightly together.
"You know the rules. You best get out of my sight." He knew he was growling like some kind of beast but he was trying his best to not deck the bloke. Not exactly couth to pummel a housemate because of a girl; especially Granger. He forced him back a few steps and released his arm with a shove and a look that could freeze hell before Pucey ran down the corridor. Draco turned to her.
He didn't even know what to say. Should he ask if she was okay? Ask what happened or what he could do to help? Offer to escort her through the castle just in case she needed the protection? He had a momentary flash of being her bodyguard but it blinked out of existence when she spoke. She tucked her shirt back into her skirt with trembling hands.
"Thanks, Malfoy," her voice rasped out, clear that she had been holding back tears, most likely because he was there. Dammit, Pucey, what did he do?
"Don't mention it." he dismissed her thanks with shrug of his shoulder, sticking his hands into his pockets as a nervous habit and he realized it was suspiciously empty. He grasped his hand around the shrunken satchel but the leather notebook wasn't in his opposite pocket. He tried to remember when he no longer felt the weight of it. When he turned to double back he heard her again, voice back to her normal prissy self.
"Are you going to the library, too?"
"It seems I am." He let a smile quirk up his lips slightly, hoping to defuse the seriousness with something he would usually say. "Do you need an escort, Granger?" It was a joke, his voice a low rumble suddenly. Pleased to toss a taunt that he didn't think she would be pleased with given how independently fierce she was but she surprised him with a snicker.
"I think so. I cause problems everywhere I go." She shot him a loose and lazy smile, shifting the books on her chest for a better grip and he rolled his eyes.
"Troublemaker. C'mon then." He gestured for her to lead the way and fell in step with her, scanning the ground for his notebook. The blasted thing didn't even have his name in it and he sighed and ran a hand over his face thinking of compiling those notes all over again. "Keep an eye out for a notebook, yeah? I've seemed to drop mine."
She nodded and continued her pace a little quicker than her typical saunter to keep up with his long legs. The both of them were quiet but comfortably so. They had been together in the library, back to back at separate desks since the start of the year practically every weekday. He had never felt the need to fill the silence with her. It felt natural, relaxing almost. He never tried to uncover why that was. They weren't all that far from the library but he had yet to come across his target when they reached the doors. She pushed the door open and he saw her shuffling her feet awkwardly.
"A-are you coming in to study? Or do I owe you for being my chaperone?" Gods, how could she just so lightly tease him? Every time he tried it came out rude or snarky yet she can do it like it's nothing. He envied her once again. And she had used the same playful tone she does with her friends; that caused something in his chest to twist painfully.
He gave her a stiff nod, finding it hard to reply in a normal tone of voice, his throat feeling tight. She held the door open a bit further and he quickly moved past her and down the short steps that lead deeper into the library. He glanced over his shoulder and noted she sat at her regular desk while he pressed on back to the Restricted Section.
Like it had been waiting for him, his leather bound book was sitting perfectly on the floor by the gate to the Restricted Section. He scowled down and scanned around the library. Surely this couldn't have been a simple mistake. He stuffed his fist back into his robe pocket and felt his fingers slip through a hole. His eye twitched, this wasn't here yesterday.
He snatched his book up off the floor, flipping it open, scanning that it hadn't been tampered with and stalked back to his usual desk. When Granger looked over at him and met his eyes, he redirected his stalking toward hers, feeling the pull to her as he always did. Like when he was studying and found himself stuck on a particular topic or question, he would approach her desk and probe that big brain of hers until he understood. It made him giddy and he almost smiled the first time she did the same to him; finally considering him the same level of intelligence as she was.
"Find it?" She asked, turning back to scribble something on her parchment. He dropped his notebook on the desk next to her and stripped off his robe. Anger was growing in his chest but he tried to not direct it toward her.
"Yes. Along with this." He pulled his robe inside out to observe the sudden hole in his pocket and scowled deeply. It looked fresh, a clean cut and forced to be as wide as it was. He noted, bitterly, just wide enough for his notebook or his shrunk satchel to fall through.
"Oh! That's unlucky." She leaned in to look at it and her eyebrows creased together. He was positive she must have noticed the same thing.
He scoffed, pulled his wand out and mumbled under his breath the stitching charm he learned at the start of the year. He distinctly remembers arguing with the Professor that sewing and stitching was women's work and he'd never need to use it. What he didn't share, is that he already knows a cauterizing spell, quite similar to it, to heal open wounds like the several his crazy aunt Bella had left all over his body during the summer.
In his distraction, he hadn't noticed Granger picking up his notebook and flipping it open like the nosey swot she was. He dropped his wand mid stitch and snatched it from her hands, glaring at her embarrassed face.
"Nosey witch," he sneered before he could mask his anger. He never figured she would be the type to pry into something that could be personal but the lure of a book she had never opened before was probably too tempting.
He didn't get to hear her excuse because Potter came flying around the bookcase, breathing hard and grabbed her arm. It looks like he ran from wherever the hells he was.
"Are you okay, 'Mione? I saw-"
"I'm fine! What's wrong? What's happened?" Granger, ever the helper, turns her concern to him and his state. Potter was always so dramatic.
Potter blinked and his eyes shot up to Draco, who had picked up his wand and went back to stitching his pocket, like it was typical to be standing next to the bushy haired witch. Potter clearly wasn't aware of the slow budding co-habitation they had carved out in the safety of the library. He wondered if she omitted that for a reason.
"I saw you-" His voice dropped but the library was so quiet, whispering didn't make much difference. "On the map. Cornered by him and that wanker, Pucey. I came immediately to help. Are you sure you're alright?"
Draco could tell from her posture that she was uncomfortable. Merlin, how long had he spent watching her that he could tell? She cleared her throat, reset herself to shed the awkward pose and her voice came flawlessly steady.
"I'm perfectly fine, Harry. Malfoy got his bulldog back in line and besides, you know I can handle myself."
They both looked over her shoulder at him. He tried to avert his focus to the books in front of him. Absentmindedly putting his robes back on and tucking his notebook into the repaired pocket. He pulled a book off the shelf that he had zero interest in and moved over to his usual desk, expanding and unpacking his satchel. Not that he cared particularly for her privacy, after her foolish decision to poke through his notebook.
He had just sat down and opened said notebook when Granger appeared next to him, apparently having dismissed Potter. She brazenly dropped her books and bag and sat in the chair next to him. He really appreciated her boldness. She had no way of knowing he had hoped since the start of the year that she would sit with him. Simply being a fellow student she could study with instead of the cruel boy who tormented her. He never really apologized to her since it wouldn't matter. That didn't mean he didn't feel some shred of guilt and regret along with all the other feelings that coursed through him.
"Don't mind Harry. He's been a complete twat this year." She scoffed, flipping her book open. "He's convinced you are constantly doing evil and nefarious tasks." She did it again, she gave him a small smile and he swallowed a lump in his throat. Potter caught on faster than he expected. They'd only been in class for a month and a half.
"He always sticks his nose where it doesn't belong. I'm used to it." Draco waves a hand dismissively and turns a page. He uncorks his inkpot and dips his quill to circle a line from his notes. It seemed important. He waited a moment for the ink to dry before he snapped it closed and looked at her. She had been staring, he could tell. All these years he knows when her eyes are on him.
"Why are you studying Portkeys and Teleporters? Extra credit?" A glint in her eye says she was teasing him again, no doubt about being second best in every class. He knew her though. He knew she was prying. She saw his notes and was, as always, curious about them. He decided what he could tell her after a decent pause.
"To find a way to Spain without bothering with the Ministry." he gave her a breadcrumb. He knew it was pointless but he was hoping that she wasn't interested in digging deeper into his motives. She pressed further.
"Okay, and why would you go to Spain?"
"My mother is there." he scribbled something on his parchment, trying to do his homework and drag her curiosity elsewhere.
"Well, you're just an open book today. Why is she there?" She mimicked him by flattening a parchment and opening her inkpot as well.
"If I was a book, you would probably like me more." He itched his forearm where his dark mark was glamoured, feeling the topic was unavoidable but realizing that maybe she had some ideas on how to make the Vanishing Cabinet work. He let the silence sit for a few minutes, scratching out the opening of his essay while she did the same, glancing over at him every ten seconds. She opened her book and flipped through it distractedly.
It took almost twenty minutes until her burning eyes and curiosity pulled so tight she broke. She slammed her book closed and stared until he felt his ears get hot from how intensely she was watching him. Waiting for him to tell her more, begging with her eyes. He let out a sigh and put his quill down.
"My mother. She's...unhappy with some 'family' we have staying at the Manor. So, she has moved, permanently, to our house in Spain." The way he strained the word made it clear they weren't blood relatives. "It's a hassle to get a Portkey every holiday break to go see her, especially since my family name isn't getting any traction." He cleared his throat, recalling an annoying conversation with a ministry rep who sent him in circles when he asked about visiting Spain over the summer. He loosened his green and grey tie, this topic being honest, and prepared for the lie. He continued.
"And she has this cabinet that works like a teleporter. It's fine going from Spain to London but broken when I try to go back through. I've brought it along with me, stored in Hogsmeade and I'm trying to fix it."
"Malfoy, that's illegal for a reason." She settles him with her scolding gaze and he looks away, opening his ancient runes book. He expected a lecture from goody-Granger anyways.
"I'm well aware. I wouldn't be able to see her until I graduate if I can't figure it out. She won't return." his voice was quiet and defeated. This exhaustion was honest; this part of what he said was the truth and quite painful.
"If she doesn't like your house guest, can't she make them leave? It's her Manor." He met her eyes, dark and glazed over. She finally understood. It was Death Eaters, not family, that had driven his mother away. Her face changed drastically, suddenly fearful. "A-are they..? Malfoy, were they there all summer? With you? Did you-?"
"Drop it, Granger. I gave you an answer. Don't press." She reached over and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from turning another page. He gripped his quill tighter and turned his body to hers. "Don't make this a big deal."
"A big deal?!" her tone pitched up but was still a whisper. "You spent all summer with monsters! That is a big deal! Are you alright?" He didn't respond, just bore into her honey eyes, willing her to accept things as they were and move on. She didn't. Of course she didn't. "Did they mark you?" It was a whisper, barely audible, like a secret shared in a dark room and her eyes shot to his left arm. He dropped it from the table and out of her view.
"I need to go." He said, standing suddenly, shaking his wrist free of her and packing his items into his satchel. The ghost of her fingers felt hot on his skin. She stammered out things, soft words, words that suggest she cared for him and it made him snap. "Don't!" loudly, following by shushing around the room from the librarian and students.
He gritted his teeth and leaned down, slamming his hand on the desk in front of her to tower over her now trembling frame. "Don't act like you care. Don't act like we are friends. What's happened can't be changed. Now, run off to Potter and tell him. I AM being evil and nefarious. Maybe he can save me the trouble and kill me first."
He stepped away from her and the desk, his heart pounding in his ears and she rose with him. She moved to follow him as he tried to leave, grabbing his robes. "Let me help you." Softly. She spoke so softly it made his stomach twist. He jerked her hands off him like they burned.
"Help me?" he hissed, grabbing the front of her shirt and pulling her towards him. "You can't even protect yourself from other students like Pucey! They only leave you be-" he scoffed, deciding not to finish his statement in anger and instead shoving her backwards. He threw his bag over his shoulder, strode off and made it past her usual desk before he heard her again.
"Draco, please," his heart clenched. He had to stop himself from dropping to his knees with the emotion he felt from that. His given name was sweet but bitter from her tongue. He spun around, throwing up what little walls in his mind that he could to set his face in the calm look he preferred. One he needed when he was this close to her. He wasn't going to break down here for all to see. Not in front of her.
"You weren't curious? You never wanted to know?" he took long slow steps back toward her, stalking carefully like she would scurry if he moved too quickly but he knew. Wild horses couldn't pull her from her curiosity and savior complex.
"You want to know why everyone in the school leaves you alone? No tricks, no pranks or jokes, not even nasty words. It's all stopped. And you never wondered why?" He had a mad smirk on his face, he couldn't help himself now. Words were coming faster than he could think. He was close now, nearly toe to toe with her and he stopped. "It's because I've ordered them not to. I've threatened my entire house to leave you alone. And they told the rest of the school."
Her eyes went wide in surprise. He could see her chest heaving, her breathing hard and her lips parted slightly. He feels pleased. Like he finally surprised her, finally stunned her into silence. "Why?" she whispered. He took the last step to her, dropping his bag to the ground.
"Because you're mine." At the last word, his hands cupped each side of her face and he pulled her to him, lips crashing against hers. Frustration and endless pent up need surged through him. The pain of caring for her so deeply for so many years without even a spark of reciprocation was too much. He couldn't help but feel himself melt into her for a moment before reality snapped him back.
He didn't allow her time to respond before he pulled back, snatching his hands away. He fumbled for his bag on the floor, his eyes wide with fear as he backed up and quickly turned. He made his escape but still tracked that she hadn't made a move to follow him this time. Good. Maybe he can obliviate her. But later; he wasn't in the right headspace to be near her right now. As evident by his stupid kiss.

He got back to his dorm, the rage that was, no doubt, vibrating off him cleared students from his path. It even sent the couple of boys in the room fleeing back to the commons. He grabbed his broom from the end of his bed and swung it against a post over and over until it splintered. Screaming with every contact and gasping for breath, he glared viciously at his friend entering the room. Blaise looked between him and the broken broomstick in his hands and rolled his eyes.
Draco pointed it at him, "Get out." he hissed but his Italian friend had been privy to too many of the blonde's breakdowns to know he was all bark. So when he threw the broom and turned to throw various items on side tables at him, Blaise yelped and blasted a candle in the air before it hit him. "Get. Out."
"Calm down, mate! What the hells happened? You've not been this angry in years." Blaise approached him with his hands out, slowly like he was a rabid animal.
"I'm an idiot. I'm a fucking idiot!" He screamed, grabbed a lamp and smashed it against the door, Blaise ducked just in time. He flicked his wand, reassembled the shattered lamp and floated it back where it came from. Draco looked at it like he could throw it again.
"I'm well aware." Blaise said coolly.
Draco rotated and kicked a large tower of books piled up to his waist and they all collapsed, scattering everywhere. He stammered, "I fucking-! I- Blaise, I sodding KISSED her!" He dropped to the floor and buried his face in his hands, willing the memory and the feeling of her soft, sweet lips against his to drain out of his head. If he thought his stomach was acting up at the library, it was a full riot now. Threatening to upheave and purge everything in his stomach, he tried to take gasping breaths.
Blaise dropped down on the balls of his feet and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Who? Whose got you ready to burn down the village, mate?"
Draco ran his hands through his hair, gripping and pulling it until it hurt and groaned in frustration. He could tell Blaise but if he told him, then Theo would find out. And Theo couldn't keep his mouth shut when it came to Pansy and good gossip. And yet, he was tired. He was so tired of this burden. He was tired of feeling locked in a tiny cage, rattling to be free. Desperate to finally say out loud what he had known since 4th year. Killing himself by keeping everything to himself and he longed to share in the comfort of his friends. It came out in a whisper, his throat tight as he held back tears.
"Granger." he dropped his hands to his lap, his knuckles cracked as he clenched his fist into his thighs to stop from trembling. "Blaise. I'm in love with her. I have been for-" he shook his head, like it would erase the feeling. "so, so long."
"Oh," Blaise's calm face screwed up in confusion, his dark brows furrowing. "Then it's a good thing you kissed her. Isn't it?"
"No. It's awful. I can't-...We never could-. It won't work. I'm-" Draco couldn't even put it into words. How could his friend not understand why it would never happen between him and Granger? How could he sit in that happy little world and pretend they were normal teenagers in school? Of course, Blaise didn't have the Dark Lord living at his manor. He wasn't given a task to murder one of the strongest wizards he ever knew, a suicide mission if he failed. He didn't have to remember to put a glamour over a dark mark every morning. He was a regular wizard who could fall in love with a regular witch. A luxury Draco would never have.
"I had figured something was happening with her. After you threatened to rip the bullocks off anyone who went after her, it seemed fairly obvious. So I hope you weren't trying to wallow in secret." Blaise sat and crossed his legs, facing his friend and hoping that he would finally talk to him about what had been weighing on him. Draco groaned and hung his head again.
"I won't pretend to understand it but I'm here for you. If you need me to distract Potter and Weasel while you two steal away into the night, I'm your guy."
"That won't be happening. Don't worry about it. For now, just help me avoid her. She's probably going to hex my hair to fall out tomorrow." He leaned back on his arms and stared at the ceiling. "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"
Blaise patted his knee in a symbol of concern and said calmly, "You love her. And love makes you dumb. It's why our families expressly forbid it."
Draco scoffed, "Yeah, but forbidden fruit is the sweetest." Blaise smiled widely at him and laughed.
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It Wouldn't Even Matter