Moon Baby | By : HalfBl0odPr1nce Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1770 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Moon Baby: Part Two: the decision
Author: YaoiBoyDemonLover
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Okay, here’s the deal: I don’t own ANY of the Harry Potter Characters’I just enjoy playing with them. The title is from a song by Godsmack. I do however own Seth Reede, Anthony Reede, their parents, Dr. David Ellington, Amber Kelson, Bruce and Giovanni S. Seth was created a long time ago, before the Harry Potter books, as was his family and yes, even Giovanni. I finally found a good place to right Seth into where it makes sense so you know that I have to. Thank you Princess for letting me borrow your near the full moon makes ‘em randy theory. I’ll love you forever for that’and so will Seth and Remmy.
Warning: Slash. If you don’t like slash, don’t read this. If you ignore this warning and read it anyone’don’t bother me with how huge a homophobe you are. Thank you : )
Pairing(s): Seth/Remus
Dedication: To Princess. Oh my, what the mind conjures up at night when nearly asleep. Do you know how this almost turned out?
XVIII THE MOON
‘ The intellectual light is a reflection and beyond it is the unknown mystery which it cannot shew forth. It illuminates our animal nature, types of which are represented below-the dog, the wolf and that which comes up out of the deeps, the nameless and hideous tendency which is lower than the savage beast. It strives to attain manifestation, symbolized by crawling from the abyss of water to the land, but as a rule it sinks back whence it came. The face of the mind directs a calm gaze upon the unrest below; the dew of thought falls; the message is: Peace, be still; and it may be that there shall come a calm upon the animal nature, while the abyss beneath shall cease from giving up a form.’
- Arthur Edward Waite, The Pictorial Key to the Tarot
PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN
At last I make my decision. My fist hits the door three times and I wait in silence. I hear movement inside. The door opens and Remus stands there, staring at me in wonder. His faded brown robe is tied loosely around his waist. How beautiful he looks.
‘ Seth, is something wrong?’ I smell the surprise he feels at my being there. Why did I do this? What was I thinking? He would never want me. No one would want me. I shake my head slowly, feeling a bit embarrassed. ‘ Are you sure? Why don’t you come in?’ He stands aside, giving me room to enter. I walk in silently.
I can feel Remus’ eyes watching me with curiosity. His scent is so strong, so perfect, so arousing. I almost forget everything I had forced into my mind since I was a child. Though I know I wish I could forget who I am, what I am. Why must I remember that I am Seth Francis Reede? Why remember that what I want to do with this man is wrong on so many levels? Why remember that I am alive?
If this is my only chance to forget, then I *must* take it. I don’t want to remember. I want to only know what I need to for the moment. Nothing else matters to me. Not now.
‘ Seth, why did you come here?’ Remus sits gracefully on his bed and motions for me to sit beside him. I do, in almost slow motion, looking into his eyes the entire time. He wants me to talk. I can’t. I can’t talk to anyone. People only betray those who trust them. They all betray the ones they know the most about. I can’t tell him. I just can’t.
But no, I can trust Remus. If no one else I can trust Remus. He would not betray me like Dr. Ellington. Remus couldn’t be as cruel as that man. Dr. Ellington, I thought I could trust him. It is sad when you can’t even trust your own therapist.
My therapist helped me through many tough times. He was the only person I decided to talk to about things that bothered me. I rarely spoke to anyone about what went on in my mind. When I did, I made sure I could trust them to understand. Now, I speak to no one about what troubles me. Not even the man I now lay beside.
Dr. Ellington, my therapist, was a nice man. He was quite handsome and just out of school. I believe I was his first patient. It turned out to be quite a learning experience for us both.
When I was nearly ten I had left a friend of my brother’s birthday party earlier than planned. I had not wanted to be there, I only went there for Anthony. I ran into my home, exhausted from chasing my younger brother around the crowded house of his friend.
There was a strange sound from my mother and father’s bedroom. I, being confused, went to figure out what had caused the noise. The door was opened partially and I paused to look in. I regret doing that now, it destroyed most of what I had believed to be my life.
There was my mother, with some man, rolling around on the queen size bed. I forced the door open the rest of the way and burst into the room shouting at my mother. I called her a whore, exactly as the many children I had fought with called her.
Later, I told my therapist what I had seen. Dr. Ellington really had nothing to say about it. The man actually tried to blame me for the whole thing.
A month passed, I never brought it up and neither did my mother. I was aware of my father’s ignorance when it came to my mother’s new activities therefore I decided to keep my mouth shut. After coming home sick one morning from school I found my mother and Dr, Ellington in the same position that she had been wit the earlier lover.
I trusted David and he betrayed me. Would Remus do the same? I know that Remus could never in the same way, but would he ever betray my trust? Would he ever hurt me? God I hope not. I wouldn’t be able to stand it if he did.
‘ I-I’I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I’ll leave.’ I close my eyes tightly as I stand, not facing Remus. Why can’t I go through with this? What am I so afraid of? Again, that familiar had gently tugs on my arm, pulling me down to sit on the bed again. This time closer to Remus. Remus’ arm stretches across my shoulders and pulls me against his chest. ‘ Seth, tell me what’s wrong.’ I begin to tremble as everything from the past few weeks finally hits me. I can no longer fight back the sobs that I stubbornly controlled before. ‘ It’s alright, just tell me what’s wrong Seth.’ Remus’ voice is soothing. Will I be able to trust him with everything?
It takes all my strength to pull away from him and wipe the warm tears that slid down my face. ‘ Everything. Everything is wrong and there’s noting I can do about it.’ My voice reminds me of a child’s that’s just been punished by a parent. ‘ I can’t talk about it. I can’t even think about it all. It’s just too much.’
‘ I understand.’ Remus, he’s so patient, so kind, so understanding. If I can’t trust him then I can’t trust anyone. Not even myself.
Remus places a hand under my chin and lifts my face to his. My heart stops as our lips touch. There’s a strange feeling in my chest. I can’t even begin to describe it. I bring my hand up to tangle it in his hair. Remus’ tongue lightly traces my lips and I instantly part them. I shudder as our tongues touch. How can anything that feels this good be wrong?
I need him. I don’t care what the consequences are. I *need* to be with him. My hand shakes as I attempt to untie the belt of his robe. His tying it loosely helps a great deal and it comes undone easily. I run my hand across Remus’ chest as I push the robe open. *So smooth*.
In a way, I can’t help but wonder what Remus thinks of me. Does Remus think I’m just some child who’ll throw himself in anyone’s bed? Does he even care that I can only see myself doing this with him? Could Remus know that no one has ever shown me that I can feel what I feel with him?
Remus’ hands ease my body down on his bed. Am I ready for this? Either way it’s too late. I’ve passed the point of no return. Remus lays on top of me, kissing me with the same desperate need that I return the kiss with. He slides my robe off my shoulders and pushes up with his arms to look down at me. Remus’ eyes open wide as he looks over the scars on my upper arms. They look much like the scratches of a cat when cornered. But they came from something much worse.
Even if Remus asked, there really isn’t any way I could properly explain where I got them. I don’t remember much of it, and right now I don’t care. I pull Remus down and kiss him hungrily. He growls deeply, a trait carried over from the transformation I assume.
Without much trouble I manage to pull his robe off and toss it onto the floor. I feel the heat radiating from his body as he grinds against me. My body feels as if my veins are live wires carrying electrical currents beneath my skin rather than the blood that fills them.
Remus’ body lifts slightly off mine. We are only apart long enough for him to slide off my clothing. I feel myself blush and turn my head away, hoping Remus doesn’t notice. God I’ve never even really kissed anyone before. Not the way Remus kissed me. Now I’m lying naked under him, and I’m not sure if I know what to do.
I feel Remus push my legs apart and lay between them. His hips move slightly, making me gasp. Remus tilts his head and he gives me a half-smile. His body is motionless for a few moments. All he does is lay there. Why doesn’t he move?
With a soft whimper I squirm slightly and press my lips against Remus’. I bring an arm up around him and gently trace his spine. This time Remus is the one to shudder. He moans softly as my tongue slips past his lips. Remus pulls back and looks down at me. ‘ Wait right here.’ His voice is changed slightly. It’s deeper now and hearing it sends my mind whirling with thoughts I never knew I was capable of having.
Remus slides off the bed gracefully. I see him walk to a small table and pull out a thin, almost hidden drawer. Remus moves a few things around inside it before pulling out a small bottle. His hand is covering the label, preventing me from seeing what it is. He closes the drawer and makes his way back to the bed.
Remus kneels between my legs this time, opening the bottle slowly as he locks his eyes on mine. I take in a deep breath and hold it, unsure of what is going to happen now. I watch as he pours some of the clear, gel-like substance of the bottle onto his fingers.
I raise my eyebrow in a questioning way and get ready to ask him what he plans on doing with whatever that is. Before I can get the question out he slides a finger inside of me. I gasp and shudder. I certainly wasn’t expecting *that*. Remus’ other hand rest on my abdomen, tracing patterns with his fingertips.
Remus’ finger is pulled out only to have another added when he pushes it in again. There’s a slight pain but the pleasure is more than worth it. ‘ Oh God, yes’’ I whisper as my eyes shut tightly. His fingers move slowly and gently inside me. It feels so new to me, so good.
I bite my lip to keep from crying out as Remus adds a third finger. I break the skin and get the metallic taste of blood. My eyes open slowly when I no longer feel his fingers inside of me. I need something. I need him. And just as if Remus was reading my mind he positions himself and enters me slowly. My hands grip his arms and moan loudly. Before long he’s completely inside me. He stays still for a few seconds, giving me time to get used to the feeling. I try to steady my breathing, but it’s impossible. My lungs wont allow me.
I feel so complete. I feel like whatever I was missing in life is all replaced by this moment, by having Remus inside me. It’s like he touched my soul, and I feel connected to him. I have to wonder if it’s like this with everyone.
After what seems like an eternity Remus begins to move, pulling out almost entirely only to thrust in again. My body arches towards him and I can feel tears threatening to move past my eyes. I shut them tightly, feeling Remus settle on a slow, but building rhythm. No one has ever made me feel like this before. No one has ever cared enough to be kind to me, like Remus is. If I thought love was real I would most certainly love him.
Remus’ body moves, increasing with every thrust. His moans mix with mine and our lips meet in passionate kisses. The room fades from my mind. I see, hear and feel only Remus. My every sense is alive and I feel almost dizzy from the overload. I shudder violently and my body jerks up towards Remus as I come to completion, sending Remus over the edge as well.
I fall back onto the mattress, panting heavily. Remus collapses on top of me. We lay there for a moment, not wanting to move. The room comes into view again as my breathing steadies. I feel Remus’ heartbeat slowly return to normal. He pulls out of me and rolls onto the bed beside me.
Remus drapes an arm across my waist and pulls me close. I face him and kiss him weakly before burying my face against his chest and closing my eyes. So what happens now?
DAWN’S KISS
My eyes open, only to close quickly. The sun is nearly blinding through the high window. I stretch, yawning and sit up. I don’t recognize the room. I look around quickly, trying not to panic. I turn my head and look beside me on the bed. Remus is there, still asleep.
So it wasn’t just a dream? My heart skips a beat in my chest and I suddenly find it hard to breath. It happened, it was real. I lay back and move closer to Remus, closing my eyes. Over and over my mind screams at me to get up and go, Remus wouldn’t want me to be there when he wakes up. It was only something he needed at that moment last night. It probably means nothing to him.
I feel Remus’ lips brush against my cheek. My eyes open slowly to meet with his. Remus’ smile makes my worries fade quickly and replaces them with the hope that last night wasn’t only because I happened to be at the right place at the right time.’ I ‘ I better get to my dorm before they notice that I’m not there.’ I can’t look into Remus’ eyes. In a way I don’t want to know what he feels about me. I’m too afraid that I might just be a thing to him. Like I was to my family. Just something that happened to fulfill a necessary purpose. Remus means so much more to me, and I wish he didn’t because I know there’s no way he could ever return my feelings. I’m not worth it.
‘ See you tonight then?’ Remus asks. Tonight? Oh, yes, tonight. The full moon, I almost forgot. I nod, standing. I don’t trust myself to speak. I can’t let him know how I feel. I find my robe and put it on, holding it closed.
‘ Tonight’’ My voice is weak and child-like as I speak. I nearly run out the door and continue all the way to my dorm. Once there I get cleaned up and dress in the heavy black school robes. I stop to look in the mirror before heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
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