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Angel Dust	By : darkfaith Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1060 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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AN: It's not down and dirty yet, but it will be. Alot of the story is already written, I'm just putting out there in portions to see what response it gets. So it's up to you, gentle reader. If you like it, tell me and I'll finish it. If not, don't tell me!! I'll stop writing, I promise.

Some of her anger had faded by the time she knocked on the cottage door. The rest of it went with the look of surprise that was on Hagrid’s face when he opened the door.

‘Gwendolyn Dunkin?’ he asked in his booming voice.

‘Hello, Hagrid,’ she said, smiling back at him. Soon, the half giant had her in a bear hug that nearly suffocated her. He sat her down inside where Fang sniffed her hand suspiciously, and then licked it with his approval.

‘ ‘ave a seat, Gwen,’ Hagrid said, pulling another seat by the fire. ‘I’ll make some tea.’

‘Actually, Hagrid,’ Gwendolyn said. ‘It’s been a long day and I was hoping for something a little stronger.’

‘Ahh,’ Hagrid said, going to his cupboard and pulling out a jug and two mugs. ‘I just made this. Haven tested it much yet. Hate drinkin alone.’

‘I knew I could count on you, Hagrid.’ She felt relieved just being in the same room with him. He never treated her differently from anyone else. She began to feel like herself again.

‘Dumbledore tole me you were comin back ere to work,’ Hagrid said, situating a table between them and pouring them each a drink from the jug. ‘Great man, Dumbledore.’

‘Yes, he is,’ Gwendolyn said raising her mug. ‘Let’s drink to him.’

‘To Albus Dumbledore,’ Hagrid said, raising his mug to meet hers.

‘To Dumbledore,’ she repeated and then took a long drink. She coughed and sputtered as the heat of it scorched her throat. When she finished coughing, she refilled her mug.

‘That’s some good stuff, Hagrid.’

That was how they spent the next few hours. Drinking to those worthy, cursing those unworthy, catching up with each other. They laughed about the time when she was a student and he had caught her in the Forbidden Forest late one night, talking with a centaur. She had persuaded Hagrid not to go to Dumbledore, telling him she was merely interested in magical creatures and wanted to meet one. Hagrid was delighted to meet someone who shared his interest in such things, and they became fast friends.

‘Is it strange comin back?’ Hagrid asked, refilling her mug again.

‘A little,’ she said, studying the mug before downing its contents. ‘Some things are exactly the way they were when I left. Like the school and you. But some things are just different, older.’

Hagrid nodded somberly. ‘Aye, I know what ye mean. I catch meself wondering when Dumbledore got so old. The war’s takin its toll on all of us, I s’pose.’

‘Do you talk to the professors often?’ she asked casually.

‘Some more’n others.’

‘What about Professor Snape?’ She poured herself a drink to keep from looking at Hagrid.

Hagrid shook his head. ‘ ‘E keeps to himself, mostly. Not that e’s the most pleasant to speak to. Difficul’ to understand, ‘e is. A bit ‘ard on the students if ye ask me.’

‘Is he a good teacher?’

‘One of the best ‘ere. But ‘e’s always af’er Arry and Ron and Hermione, tryin to get ‘em into trouble.’

‘Harry Potter, you mean?’ she asked, her curiosity turning in another direction.

‘ E’s a good boy, Arry,’ Hagrid said, beginning to show signs of the alcohol.

‘ E’s a powerful wizard too.’

‘He’d have to be to stop Voldemort at such a young age,’ Gwendolyn replied, the effects of the alcohol becoming very evident. ‘I hope he deals with his powers better than some.’

‘Oh, now Gwen,’ Hagrid said, patting her gently on the hand. ‘No one blames you for what you did.’

‘That’s not true, Hagrid, and you know it,’ she said, refilling her glass once more. ‘There are plenty of people who wouldn’t have done what I did, and there are plenty who would have been glad if I had stayed away.’

‘Them’s are people ‘at don’t know you. If they’d done ‘at to my family, I’d a done jus’ as you did.’ The conviction in his voice touched Gwendolyn deeply. She smiled sadly back at him.

‘No, you wouldn’t have, Hagrid.’ She took his large hand in her own. ‘But thank you. You’ve always been a good friend.’

Hagrid blushed and looked away, muttering something. Gwendolyn finished her drink and exhaled loudly.

‘Enough of this sentimental nostalgia,’ she said, pushing herself from her chair with great effort. ‘You’re out of liquor and I’m drunk, so I’m off to bed.’

‘I’ll walk ya back to the castle,’ Hagrid said, and none of her protests could dissuade him. They walked unsteadily up the hill, laughing and bumping into each other. Hagrid had to keep her from hitting the ground more than once.

When they reached the castle door, she turned to him and curtsied with surprising grace. ‘Thank you kind sir for the escort.’

Hagrid bowed in return. ‘You’re more n’ welcome, milady.’

He opened the door for her when she found it a little confusing and they both laughed as she stumbled inside. They said goodnight again and then closed the door between them.

Gwendolyn stayed leaning on the door for a few minutes, trying to orient herself. Figuring she would find her rooms eventually, she started off to the left. She had been walking for sometime, when she realized she was going the wrong way. Her hallway wasn’t nearly this dark and gloomy. She looked around, trying to place the hall in her memory.

‘This is the hall to the dungeon,’ she decided out loud, feeling pleased with herself. She frowned, knowing the dungeon was where Severus would be. Did she really want to see him?

Finally she nodded once, which threw her off balance and into a wall. She steadied herself once more and headed further down the hall, muttering ‘Bastard deserves hearing me out. Stupid man.’

When she came to a large wooden door, she attempted to compose herself, and started to beat on the door loudly with her fist.

Snape jumped when the pounding began. He had started to doze off in his chair after hours of feeling restless. He strode angrily towards the door. He was surprised to see Gwendolyn at his door, fist pulled back to hit the door again.

She was oblivious to his glare as she lowered her fist and crossed her arms, smirking back at him.

‘Took you long enough,’ she said haughtily.

‘It’s nice to see you too, Gwendolyn,’ he replied coolly, his sensitive nose picking up the smell of alcohol she exuded. ‘Did you need something? A sobering potion perhaps?’

‘I needed to speak with you, if that’s quite alright,’ she said, pushing past him and into his room. It was surprisingly comfortable, she noticed through her haze. Warm rich colors and soft textures adorned the room. Forgetting for a moment where she was, she jumped as he shut the door behind her. She turned on her heel to catch him looking at her with a strange look on his face. Ignoring it, she stood straighter and held his gaze.

‘I thought it best to put aside our differences considering we have to work together,’ she said, only slightly slurring her speech.

Severus arched a sardonic eyebrow. ‘I wasn’t aware we had any difference to put aside.’

Gwendolyn sighed and rolled her eyes as if she were talking to a child. ‘It’s late and I’m hardly in the mood to deal with your sarcasm. I came here to call a truce, but if you wish to be childish, I’ll be more than happy to return to my room.’ She started towards the door, but his form blocked the way.

‘I never knew you were one to take the moral high ground, Miss Duncan,’ he sneered at her.

‘Well it’s easy to do with you,’ she tossed back, looking pointedly to where his sleeve covered the Dark Mark.

Cold fury blazed in his black eyes, but his voice became softer, more ominous. ‘I’m paying my penance for my past. Are you?’ He continued, advancing towards her, years of hurt and frustration boiling inside him. ‘Is that why you’re here now? To teach the children of those you killed on your quest for vengeance?’

‘I was after justice, not revenge,’ she said fiercely through the ball of anger and pain that formed in her chest.

‘And who made you judge and jury?’ he hissed, he stopped, inches away from her, forcing her to look up at him. ‘Who gave you the right to be their executioner?’

‘They did,’ she said forcefully, not blinking under his burning stare. ‘They did when they killed my family. When they took everything from me. They deserved to die!’

‘Then so did I,’ he whispered, taking in the confused look on her face. He pressed on. ‘Before I came to Dumbledore, I was the same as them. Took, ruined, and raped.’

Gwendolyn shook her head, not wanting to hear him. She stepped back, but he followed.

‘I was no different,’ he said darkly, knowing this had gone too far, but still had further to go before he could rest. ‘You knew that. Deep down, where you couldn’t admit it, you knew I was just like them.’

She continued to retreat. ‘No.’

‘Don’t lie, Gwendolyn,’ his tone caressing, saying her name like a lover would. ‘You said as much the night they died.’

She looked at him, eyes burning with confusion and pain and rage. ‘I did, but’’

‘But what?’ he interrupted. ‘You didn’t mean it?’ He gave a mirthless laugh, and hated himself for it. Yet he pushed on. ‘Be honest. You meant every word.’

‘Yes,’ she hissed, anger taking over.

‘You knew that if it had been years earlier, I would have been the one to kill your family.’

‘Yes!’ she shouted.

‘You wanted to kill me that night.’

‘Gods, yes!’

‘Then why didn’t you?’ This was it.

‘Because you were my best friend!’ she cried, her voice so full of pain that Severus felt his chest tighten. ‘Because I trusted you and loved you like no one else and I hated myself for saying those things to you and I hated myself even more for thinking for a second that you were like them. And I hated you for being like them and—’ she stopped herself, horrified at the words that had spilled from her mouth. She tried to push past him, but the alcohol, coupled with his immoveable stance, made her stumble. He caught her easily against his chest, engulfed in her smell; oranges and liquor. He held her gently but firmly as she struggled to get out of his arms.

‘Let me go,’ she said, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

‘No.’ Her struggles doubled for a moment and then ceased as he felt her sobbing against him.

‘I’m sorry, Severus, I’m so sorry,’ she said as she clung to his shirt, letting her tears of fear and regret soak into his shirt.

‘So am I,’ he said softly so she couldn’t hear. When her sobs ebbed, he held her shoulders and stepped away. Gwendolyn sniffled and brushed her hands across her wet cheeks, keeping her tear-stained face averted.

‘I have some Sobering Potion in my office,’ he said softly, leading her towards a door in the back of the room.

Gwendolyn giggled quietly. ‘Do you remember that time we got trashed and spilt all of the Sobering Potion we had, and we tried to make it while we were still drunk?’

Snape smiled slightly. ‘Hard to forget considering we both spent a week with Madame Pomfrey because we had turned ourselves blue.’

Gwendolyn giggled harder. ‘She never did figure out what we did to ourselves.’

‘I was lucky the Dumbledore didn’t fire me for that,’ Snape said, but he still sounded amused.

‘Great man, Dumbledore,’ Gwendolyn said, doing a bad impersonation of Hagrid.

‘Ah, so Hagrid is the cause of this late night intrusion,’ Snape said, surprised that he felt a twinge of jealousy.

‘You pissed me off at dinner,’ Gwendolyn said, pulling away defensively.

‘So you decided to get drunk and harass me in the middle of the night?’ Snape said calmly, opening the door to his office and motioning her through.

‘It’s not like you didn’t deserve it,’ she mumbled as she went into his office and plopped into his seat behind his desk, throwing one leg over the arm.

‘Please don’t tell me we went through all that for nothing,’ he said, sounding tired.

Gwendolyn’s dark eyes quickly raised to meet his. Both were fighting with the defenses they beenbeen using for so long. Finally, Gwendolyn took a deep breath and said, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘For barging into my room drunk in the middle of the night?’ he said, hiding behind sarcasm once again. He looked at Gwendolyn, staring up at him with those green eyes he’d missed for so long. Against his will, his mind went back to the last time he had looked into her eyes.

He was sitting in Dumbledore’s office. Both men were silent, waiting for Gwendolyn to arrive. When she did, she knew immediately that something was wrong by their grave expressions.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, taking Snape’s seat which he had offered to her. She searched his face for some sign, but his face was stoic as he stood to her side and waited.

‘Gwendolyn,’ Dumbledore said, softly. ‘I’m afraid I have some terrible news. There was an incident at your home last night.’

‘An incident? What kind of incident?’ Snape felt helpless as she turned to face him, but he kept his eyes to the floor.

‘Deatheaters went to your home, Gwendolyn,’ Dumbledore continued softly, his voice caring the note of comfort Snape had heard so often.

‘Deatheaters?’ Gwendolyn stood quickly and turned to Snape. ‘Why were they at my home?’ Her eyes were blazing when Snape looked at her. He saw the battle between denial and realization there and longed to comfort her. But he knew it was too soon. He looked to Dumbledore to continue. Gwendolyn glanced between them.

‘I’m sorry, Gwendolyn,’ Dumbledore said. ‘Your family is dead.’

‘No,’ Gwendolyn whispered, shaking her head to fight of the words ringing in her ears.

‘I’m sorry.’ Dumbledore looked older than Snape had ever seen him. He knew he held great affection towards the girl, knowing she was extremely powerful and needed guidance. Snape looked away.

‘No!’ Gwendolyn shouted, her eyes bright. ‘They wouldn’t.’ She stood there, shaking her head and looking at nothing. She saw her family’s faces in her mind and choked on a sob when she realized she would never see them again. She raised her red eyes to Dumbledore.

‘All of them?’ she asked quietly.

Dumbledore hesitated. ‘Yes.’

‘How?’ she asked harshly.

‘Gwendolyn,’ he started gently. ‘I don’t think—’

‘How!’ she shouted, looking fiercely into his pained blue eyes.

‘The Unforgivables.’

Gwendolyn fought to breathe. Her mother, her father, her 5 year old sister. All gone. And it was all her fault.

‘It’s because I wouldn’t join,’ she said to Snape. ‘Wasn’t it?’

‘Gwendolyn—’ Dumbledore started.

‘I’m asking him!’ she cried, never taking her eyes from Snape’s.

‘That’s why they’re d— Sh’ She took a step closer and lowered her voice. ‘Because I wouldn’t become a Deatheater.’

‘Yes, I think so,’ Snape replied softly, knowing that she was too intelligent to accept a lie.

‘Who was it?’ Her voice was low and dangerous, making Snape even more worried.

‘You can’t go after them.’

Suddenly, her hand was around his throat and he was pushed up against a wall. Her wand was shoved painfully into his chest. He was so shocked, he didn’t think to reach for his own wand. His eyes flicked to Dumbledore, who had moved silently behind Gwendolyn.

‘You knew,’ she whispered harshly, her eyes full of pain and rage. ‘You knew they were in danger and you didn’t tell me.’

‘I didn’t know,’ Snape said flatly.

‘The hell you didn’t,’ she said loudly, shoving her wand into him harder. ‘You let them die and now you’re going to tell me who did it.’

‘I can assure you, Severus had no part of this,’ Dumbledore said gently. ‘Let us not add to the bloodshed.’

‘Tell your friends that they’re all going to die,’ Gwendolyn said in her quiet menacing voice. ‘I will hunt them down and I will kill them all.’ She looked into Snape’s eyes for a little longer, and he thought for a moment she might break-down. But then her eyes went cold and she ran out of the room.

Snape sagged against the wall, watching the open door. His breath was ragged with emotion, and he closed his eyes to steady it. He jumped when Dumbledore laid a soft hand on his shoulder.

‘She is in a great deal of pain, Severus,’ the old man said. ‘She’ll come to you when she’s ready.’

‘I hope so, Albus.’

‘I’m sorry for everything, Sev,’ Gwendolyn replied softly. ‘You were right. I did come back to ease my conscious. But I came back to see you too.’

‘Why?’ he asked, trying to sound uninterested.

‘Because I missed you.’

He looked down at her for a long time, emotions playing on his face. Gwendolyn smiled sweetly. And raised an eyebrow, something she had picked up from him.

‘You know you missed me, too, just admit it,’ she threw out casually. Snape started to feel indignant at her tone, but he saw the need in her eyes, imploring him to tell her the truth.

He turned away to one of his cupboards and pulled out a small vial.

‘I missed you, you annoying little girl,’ he said, harshly. ‘Now drink this and go to bed.’

Gwendolyn smiled slyly at him. ‘I’ll drink it on one condition.’

Snape rolled his eyes. ‘What now?’

‘We’ll never discuss this night after I sober up.’

‘Agreed.’ Severus gave a wicked smile as she downed the potion, her nose wrinkling at the taste.

‘God, this stuff is awful!’ she sputtered, returning the empty vial to Snape.

‘I could make it taste better, but I think the taste is penance for acting foolishly,’ he said haughtily.

‘Yeah, because you’ve never gotten drunk before,’ she said, sitting on the desk. Snape had forgotten how mercurial her moods could be, and how they affected his own emotions. Moments before, she had admitted to wanting to kill him. Now, here she was acting as if nothing ever happened. Even when she was younger, she could be beaming like a Gryffindor one minute and brooding like Salazaar Slytherin the next.

‘You were a bad influence,’ he said, glaring at her.

‘How ashamed your young Slytherins would be if they knew you had been led astray in your youth by a mere girl.’

‘They would understand,’ he replied, assuming his haughty stance, arms crossed over his chest. ‘You are very persuasive, as a Slytherin should be.’

‘Well, I am that,’ she conceded. She stretched as the potion kicked in and she lost the effects of the alcohol.

‘You should go to bed now,’ he said, keeping the concern from creeping into his voice.

‘I knew you’d be bossy when you became a professor,’ Gwendolyn said, hopping off the desk and heading out of the office. She did feel drained after their encounter.

‘I am far from bossy, Miss Duncan,’ Snape said, trailing after her. ‘I simply know what’s best.’

‘Oh, well then, how can I argue with that?’ Gwendolyn said sarcastically, turning to face him at the door.

‘I assume you’ll be at breakfast?’ Severus said, pointedly ignoring her last comment.

Gwendolyn groaned. ‘God, I forgot what early risers you people are.’

Severus smiled maliciously. ‘Welcome back, Professor Duncan.’
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