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In Love and War	By : TheLadyFeylene Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1489 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-In Love and War
- 2-II
- 3-III
- 4-IV
- 5-V
- 6-VI
- 1
- 2
- 3
Warning: Still slash.

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: This picks up *exactly* where the previous chapter left off, BUT THE NARRATOR SWITCHES. The two characters are now reversed!

And so far, still, only my beloved wife has figured out the pairing. And my friend Tara, after guessing every possible combination she could think of, including some even *I* hadn't a clue to! But really, as I said, the narrator from chapter one (who is now the secondary character) is *insanely* obscure! His entire physical appearance was created by me, as is everything else except the fact that he existed and knew the other character.

In Love and War
II

It amazes me, truly, what has just transpired. I suppose I must have known, on some subjacent level of my mind that his feelings for me ran something deeper then the friendship we so often expressed. But I've never been a man given to thoughts of a carnal or amorous nature. They simply had no place in my thoughts. Not as a young man, nor as the man I am now.

But, were I forced to choose an outlet for my baser desires, it would be him. Physically, he is striking. In a subdued way, I imagine. Hair like copper, eyes like emeralds, his manner is my opposite. He is loud and raucous with a love of trickery. And he smiles far too much. A man should never smile unless he has a good reason. Though, I suppose he feels he always has reason.

His manner translates to the bedroom. I've never had a lover before, of my own choosing. Though perhaps that's a lie carried over from my cataclysmal school hood days. I was certainly on the introverted side, and the opposite sex was a mystery to me, let alone my own. And after *they* were done with me, I can hardly think of anyone other then him who would want me.

But those days are gone, and I have moved beyond them. Enough, I suppose. I have him. I have always had him. He has stood by my side since I first set foot on the god forsaken train. And he has-though I am loathe to admit it-stood up for me when I was...indisposed to defend my own honor.

And besides, he was always better with a hex then I was.

And now I lay in his arms, a lover. I am exhausted. I've indulged in self pleasure on occasion-I *was* a teenager not that long ago. But to be at the mercy of his flashing eyes and his clever tongue...

I can only hope I matched his attentions. Though he seems satisfied.

"I love you."

I abhor the words. They're frivolous, really. He tells me he loves me. I have heard him extol his love for his mother, his broom, his House, Charms, his pet cat, and cheese. Oftentimes in the same day. So an admission of love-even from him, who I know to be passionately honest-does not move me. But what he has shown me with hands and lips...

I do, of course, return his affections. I have heard great friendships sung to the heavens...what of ours? It is as he said earlier. We were seen as so different. Why, I cannot imagine. It is this division that splits our world in two. They will feel rather stupid, really, for following such a ridiculous cause. Those that survive at any rate. Perhaps it may look rather bad at the moment, but I know that we will triumph. It is inconceivable that we would not.

He worries, I believe. It is ridiculous for him to be so frightened. He has never been given over to fear, rather he is brave to the point of nausea. Which leads to recklessness, despite all of my warnings to him. He refuses to listen. Just last week he nearly got himself killed, by dismissing caution.

But he is ridiculously lucky. I have discovered that. I have watched him, seen him pull off the most ludicrous stunts-things he damn well would have been expelled for had he been caught-with no repercussions. From lack of being caught, of course. Had any trail ever led to his name, he would have been expelled before one could say hippogryff. Because he wasn't one of the golden ones, those who could do no wrong...

I'd imagine they're learning their lesson now.

"You haven't said anything you know...."

He's looking at me, and I believe he is worried. Perhaps he fears he has done wrong, or hurt me in some manner. Certainly the initial entering was unpleasant, but I have felt far worse.

"I didn't think I was required to add on commentary." I say.

"But...you're okay with everything, right?"

"Of course." I look up at him. He looks tousled, but he always does.

"You'd tell me right, it you I did anything wrong?"

"Oh good lord...had I not wished to sleep with you, I would have put a stop to events before we ended up in bed."

"Okay." He still seems unnerved. He should know me well enough by now. He knows me better then I imagine I know myself. There is nothing, truly, that I have kept from him. Except, of course, The Incident. But were I at liberty to speak of it, I would have. And considering what he did the following day, he had a damn good idea of what happened. Or at least who had done it...

"We truly should get to sleep." I remind him. It will be just us, tomorrow. We have been trusted with a task of great magnitude. And great risk. He is careless enough as it is, I would rather not add lack of sleep to his handicaps.

"Aw....no cuddling?" He jests, and his arms around me are strangely comforting. He is one of the few people I allow to touch me in an intimate manner.

My feelings on him are confused at best. I am aware that I love him, lacking as the word is. But beyond that dis dissolves into chaos. Certainly before he kissed me I did not love him as paramour. I loved him as...my best friend, I suppose. A brother, perhaps. But now I know my feelings are of a different nature.

Such a horrid time for it, really. I have no fear for either of our lives, as long as I am with him I can keep his neck out of anything truly lethal. I simply fear for our ability to nurture this newfound kinship. It will, sadly, have to wait until the war is over.

I oftentimes wonder what he's doing here. He never struck me as one to crusade and rally behind any cause, this one least of all. I would have sent him to the other side, truly. But he is here, and he is certainly not a spy or anything so ridiculous as that. He is a devout member of our ranks. If a nonchalant one.

"I mean it." My voice is stern, and the smile fades from his lips. "We must have our wits about us tomorrow. I wish this to go as quickly and smoothly as possible."

"Yeah." He nods, and he presses his body close against mine. It's strange, tan tangle of limbs we have become. I imagine we must look ridiculous, wrapped up together as we are. But it can be excuse. It feels...good. I have only ever slept beside him once before, and I do not enjoy thinking on it. To lay with him after a glorious session of love making, however...

"You got an alarm set?" He asks, and he yawns. He is....elfin, truly. I've never noticed before, but a truly elfish cast lends itself to his features.

"Of course I do!" He must ask that? He is truly in need of sleep. His eyes are misted over and unfocused. I've seen him like that many times, most often tottering over a textbook at three in the morning before finals.

"No need to get testy." He kisses me, before closing his eyes and tucking the covers up under his chin. He is asleep within seconds. It amazes me, truly. He is so vibrant and full of energy, and then he is dead to the world. I cannot help but smile at him, as I watch him sleep.

I know I cannot afford to watch him long, however. He may underestimate the seriousness of our situation, but I do not. He accuses me of being overcautious, but it has saved my life more times then I care to recount. Another habit left over from my misspent youth.

Kicking the covers off-I hate to be so covered up-I close my eyes and steady my breathing. I can feel sleep, dancing about on the edges of my mind. But it is hard to find, I am discovering, when one has just lost ones virginity to ones best friend.

Things have changed between us. And that is not a terrible thing. In fact, I am inclined to believe it is a very favorable situation indeed.

After tomorrow, we will have to sit down and discuss in depth our exact relationship. And much as I loathe talking, I believe I am looking forward to it.

But we shall get through tomorrow, first.
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In Love and War