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Preconceptions Torn Apart	By : Marian Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1753 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Preconceptions Torn Apart
- 2-Surfacing
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Title: Preconceptions Torn Apart Author: Marian of the Faeries Author e-mail: marianfaerie@home.se Author homepage: http://fly.to/marianfaerie Rating: NC-17 Categories: Romance, Angst. Pairing: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Warnings: Slash. Summary: The love of a werewolf is a rare gift, but will Snape appreciate it? Snape/Lupin *slash*. Beta: Staci, who has helped enormously with this chapter! ~~ Chapter Two: Surfacing ~~ Remus remembered that night in the Shrieking Shack, when his entire life was turned upside-down. Peter Pettigrew returned to Voldemort's side – to eventually bring him back to power, he found out that Sirius was innocent, and Severus turned against him and prevented him from teaching at Hogwarts. Before that night, Severus had been contemptuous, but not outright hostile. It was not until Remus sided with Sirius that Severus truly turned against him. But Remus had always known that the man's hatred of Sirius was so much stronger than the hatred directed towards Remus. He remembered when Severus had hissed 'Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works!'. Silently, he agreed. It was indeed very difficult for someone who was not a werewolf to understand the peculiar mix of man and wolf that Remus was. When Remus was younger, the two personalities were entirely separate; when he was in human form the madness on the night of the full moon was only a diffuse memory. When he transformed he was completely mad, and knew nothing but the hunger and the thirst for blood. When the Wolfsbane Potion was developed, Remus transformed into a perfectly sane wolf, and at first it was the only difference he noticed. As the months passed, however, he discovered that he was becoming aware of the difference of the way he thought as a wolf and as a human. A wolf has less complex feelings, and it is mostly concerned with its basic needs and the needs of the pack. He also discovered that when he was human he remembered the way he thought as a wolf, and the other way around, and his two identities began to blur. Eventually, man and wolf blended, and formed the unique person that was Remus Lupin. It was not easy for others to grasp this difference. Even Sirius had barely noticed the change in Remus, and although they had been separated for so many years he still was the one person in the world who knew Remus best. The most obvious sign was his mild personality; few things could unsettle his stoic calm. Remus had no self-doubts. That was probably the reason he took Severus' threats and nasty comments so lightly. He knew that there was nothing to dislike or doubt about himself. Conflicting emotions were also something unknown to him. He had different emotions at the same time, of course, but he was spared the raging battle of two opposite desires in his head that he experienced in his youth. One part of Remus was almost entirely wolf. It was the part of him that acted purely on instinct, making him want to growl and bare his fangs when he was threatened, or made him occasionally think of Dumbledore as the pack leader. Fortunately, the human and logical part of him was able to restrain such behaviour, since Remus realised that it really wasn't appropriate to growl at a Ministry clerk or engage in any kind of wolfish behaviour in public. There was also the part of him that recognised social constructions like honour and revenge, but Remus knew that was all there; re; constructions, inventions. He knew what it was, naturally, being brought up as a human, but it felt hollow, unimportant. What does honour matter to a wolf? And there was the common ground, those fundamental things man and wolf had in common. Protecting the young for example, to ensure the preservation of the species. And love… Wolves have an unusual love life. They have only one mate; that means that when they find someone they stay with them for the rest of their lives. Remus knew that this applied to him too, only perhaps he loved in a more human way, but he hadn't found his mate yet. He hadn’t been able to find much information about this mating bond, the only thing he knew was that it didn't appear unless the attraction was mutual. It wouldn't do for one wolf to get stuck with another wolf that wasn't interested, did it? The preservation of the species, and all that… Remus supposed that the 'preservation of the species' reasoning didn't really apply to him. As far as he could tell he was bisexual, but it was hard to say for sure, because he had never fallen in love or been strongly attracted to anyone. Of course, there was Severus… Remus frowned. The man was an enigma. * * * Remus paused on the threshold to the staff room, leaning against the doorframe with an amused smile on his face. The room was full of Hogwarts professors, preparing for their next lesson or chatting amicably with each other. His attention, however, was immediately drawn to a couple who, even if they kept their voices down, had a very intense discussion, bordering on an argument. Minerva was gripping a stack of papers tightly, her whitening knuckles betraying her agitation even if her words did not. Severus stood in a confident pose, his arms crossed, looking down his nose at Minerva with a condescending smirk and dangerously narrowing eyes. Remus could only hear fragments of what they were saying from where he stood. "…and it's only the third day of term! …unfair to take points for such…" "… discipline the students is my own business, Minerva, and…" "…not even against the rules! If only…" Remus stopped concentrating on their argumentation and regarded Severus with interest. He really looked like he was enjoying himself, if one knew what to look for. His eyes were sparkling, but not with anger, he looked quite amused by the older witch's attempts to reprimand him, which he easily circumvented. He was in his element. A true Slytherin. Remus noticed that Severus' appearance had changed somewhat since last year. His skin was no longer pale and sallow; he looked like he actually had been outdoors in the sun. He also seemed more relaxed. Remus knew that his role in the war had been very stressful for him. But Severus did what he had to do, just like everyone else. Severus had a broody, mysterious air about him, and it fascinated Remus despite himself. His hair was midnight black. Not like Sirius' hair, which was black with sun kissed brown highlights. It was completely black. So were his eyes, which often held a haunted, faraway look when Severus didn't know he was being watched, or the intense gaze that made the students squirm and Remus shiver with unidentified emotion. But what really excited Remus was his voice, deep and resonant, rich and smooth like velvet. Flowing down Remus spine like a lover's caress, full of promises… Remus frowned. Why was the man suddenly having this effect on him? For Merlin's sake, he was almost writing poetry! Suddenly, the world seemed to snap into slow motion, as Severus turned towards him and met his gaze. Something seemed to flow from him through Remus and he felt warmth spread through his limbs, coiling in the pit of his stomach. Remus felt as if an invisible force was tugging at him, pulling him towards Severus, but at the same time he was held immobile by the unfamiliar emotions coursing through him. This is where I belong, this is what I want… And Remus knew. Werewolves were attracted to their mates, and only them. If Remus felt drawn to Severus in this way, as if he was the only thing he needed, completely irresistible, then it could only mean one thing… When Severus realised that Remus was watching him, his expression changed. His gaze fixed on him, it was intense and strangely erotic, and Remus found that he was instantly hard. Suddenly he knew that if Severus would take him into his arms his bones would melt, and his heart… and they could become one and it would be everything he ever dreamed about. His heart started beating faster when he realised the implications of all this. He stood rooted to the spot as Severus approached him; he didn't even notice that he was blocking the doorway. "Are you going to stand there all day, Lupin?" His words hit Remus like a full-force blow. He doesn't know. Gods, he doesn't know! "Please," he whispered. "Call me Remus." And he fled from the room, and from Severus. * * * Somehow Remus managed to survive the fourth-year Hufflepuffs, second-year Ravenclaws, and lunch and dinner in the Great Hall in Severus' presence. As soon as was possible he retired to his rooms to sort out his jumbled thoughts. Him! All his life he had been looking for his mate, and he had been there right in front of him all the time! Why hadn't he seen it before? Remus realised that he must have had suspected something. In retrospect it was painfully obvious. The attraction had always been there, but their enmity had kept it from surfacing. But something had changed. As soon as the resentment had faded it had given way to… this. So, what should he do now? Severus didn't seem interested, but, Remus realised, he had to be, else he wouldn't have chosen him as his mate. He groaned. Why couldn't his subconscious have chosen someone less… well – broody, forbidding, withdrawn, intriguing, intelligent, attractive… He gave up that train of thought. He supposed that the best course of action to take was to show his interest in a subtle way. Severus was not a man to be rushed into things. With that settled, he calmly seated himself at his desk and started marking essays. * * * A couple of hours later Lupin heard a soft knock at the door. Surprised, he looked up from his work. He rarely had any visitors, and never this late in the evening. "Come in." The door opened to reveal Severus with a steaming goblet in his hands. It was a week until the full moon, and Remus had completely forgotten the Wolfsbane Potion. "Severus." "I brought your potion," And then Snape added with a bit of unease in his voice, "Remus." Remus smiled at the use of his first name. "Thank you," he said and stood up. He took the goblet and placed it on the desk. "You're welcome..." Indecision played across Severus' face. He took a deep breath, and then opened his mouth to say something. "Eh.." Snape snapped his mouth shut again. "Yes?" said Remus, and looked up at him. Their eyes locked, and Remus found that he was unable to look away, he was completely lost in those black depths. He felt that warmth spreading through him again, and desire started to stir deep within him. Is it going to be like this every time I look him in the eyes? "You were acting very strange this morning. What was that all about? Did you need the potion earlier in the day?" Snape finally snapped out. So he had noticed something, at least. They were standing quite close, and Remus knew what he wanted to do, but was it a good idea? The call to claim his mate was pounding through his blood and screaming at him from every nerve ending. He tried to get a hint from Severus, but all he could read from him was puzzlement. He stepped closer. "This," he whispered, and kissed him. The first thing he felt was an overwhelming sense of rightness that shocked him so much that he barely noticed when Severus started to respond. Strong arms encircled his waist, and he felt those unbelievably soft lips move against his own. So much for subtlety… Remus moaned quietly when Severus' tongue entered his mouth and started to play with his own. He tasted so good, like cinnamon and apples, warm and arousing. Severus pressed closer and Remus could clearly feel his answering arousal through the thick robes. Yes, he had been right when he guessed that the desire was mutual. Eventually, Remus had to break off the kiss to catch his breath. He stared deeply into Severus' eyes and found that they were hazy with desire. Suddenly Severus seemed to snap out of his daze. "What…?" he muttered, his dark brows knitting in confusion. "No." Remus looked at him steadily. "Yes." "No, Lupin." Severus' expression turned into a frown. "It's just… wrong." And with those words he was gone. Remus sighed with frustration. * * * Half an hour later, Remus gave up. Severus clearly wasn't coming back, and he had classes to teach in the morning. He drank the foul-tasting Wolfsbane potion, rinsed his mouth several times and brushed his teeth to get rid of the lingering aftertaste, and went to bed, ignoring the feeling of loss and disappointment in the pit of his stomach. * * * Dark, troubled eyes stared intensely at the rolls of parchment on desk, as if they stared long and hard enough the parchment would start to smoulder and catch fire. What is Lupin playing at? Severus couldn't possibly fathom why Lupin would offer that to him. It must have been some kind of game, a prank. Or not. Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works. What could Lupin possibly win by this? No one would ridicule Severus for sleeping with him; Remus was one of the most desirable wizards he knew. It was more likely that people would envy him. Another thing that spoke against the prank-theory was that Lupin wasn't known to invite people to his bed. In fact, as far as Severus knew, no one had ever claimed to be the gorgeous werewolf's lover. It is not wise to look a gift horse in the mouth. With a determined glint in his eyes, he rose from his chair and exited his rooms with his usual dramatic swirl of robes. As an afterthought, he grabbed a small jar on one of the shelves of his office, before he headed back to Remus' rooms. Next chapter: The content of the mysterious jar is revealed.
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Preconceptions Torn Apart