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All\'s Fair In Love And War	By : jameschick Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 21683 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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The Ghost of Hogwarts Present

I didn't plan this; my death, I mean. It just sort of... happened.
One minute I was watching as Walden Macnair aimed his wand at Harry, and the next minute, I was here.
Dead.
A ghost.
But I should probably start at the beginning; explain myself so to speak.
I love Harry Potter. I love him more than I have ever loved another person in my entire life. I don't know how, or why it happened, but it did. I tried to deny it. I tried to walk away from him, to forget him. To pretend that he didn�t matter to me.
It didn't work.
Not even giving myself over to the Dark Lord was enough to make me forget him. Hours upon hours spent in bed with Pansy were not enough to make me forget him. If anything, having sex with her only made me long for Harry even more.
Then Malfoy happened.
He, having always been a better Slytherin than I ever was, saw that Harry was vulnerable and moved in for the kill. By the time I got back from break, it was like the last seven years had never happened.
They were that close.
I wanted to do something, anything, to break them up before it was too late.
Before Harry fell in love with Draco.
I didn't trust him. He was a Malfoy for Merlin sake! If Slytherin equalled evil, then Malfoy equalled evilest-thing-ever-next-to-the-Dark-Lord-himself.
Or so I thought.
Turns out, I am as biased against my own House as everyone else at this school. Slytherins are chosen for their ambition, not because they are evil. Somewhere along the way, I had forgotten that.
Draco didn't.
He has always wanted Harry in one fashion or another. He was just ambitious enough to go after him when he saw that he could. When he realised that Harry was gay. When he knew that he had a shot.
I wonder, if I had still been with Harry, if I had defied my family to stay by his side, whether I would have lost him to Malfoy anyway. I don't know which answer, if any, would make me feel better. If no, then I threw away everything by walking away from Harry and I am truly an imbecile. If yes, then Harry didn't love me as much as I think he did, and that can�t possibly be true.
Personally, I think I'm an imbecile and that I threw away the only real chance I ever had to be happy when I broke up with Harry Potter.
But, at least I know that Draco loves him. It does nothing to mend my own shattered heart, but I know that I don't have to worry about Harry; I know that Draco will take care of him.
I tried to kill him, you know. Draco that is. I stood outside their secret room, watching them make love and feeling my heart break in my chest. I raised my wand, got as far as uttering Avada, then Weasley petrified me. I didn't even know he was there.
I was thankful though. As much as I hated Draco in that moment, and as good as killing him might have made me feel at that moment, it would have devastated Harry, and I never wanted to hurt him.
Not ever again.
But I still did.
It wasn't on purpose. I swear, I wasn't trying to get one last shot in by dieing in front of him. I never even gave it much thought.
He was going to die, and I was the only one close enough to do anything.
Dumbledore had my wand - he'd confiscated it after the Weasley episode - so I jumped between Harry and Macnair.
I don't regret it.
What kind of life did I have to look forward to anyway? A marriage to Pansy whom I didn�t love, and never would. Children who would be sired out of obligation, who would be raised on Dark Arts just like their parents, and a tattoo on my arm that would tell anyone who looked at it who I served during the war.
Not to mention having to see Harry and Draco together.
Happy.
In love.
No, things are definitely better this way.
The world needs Harry Potter.
Me, I'm just another Death Eater, no one is going to miss me. Well, Pansy might, but she'll move on soon enough. And of course, Harry. He'll beat himself up over my death for years if someone doesn't stop him.
I'm not too worried about it though. Draco won't stand for it, and if anyone can make Harry pull his head out of his arse and get over it, it'll be him.
And if that doesn't work, then I'll just have to tell him myself.
Yeah, you heard right. I'm still here at Hogwarts.
I died in the middle of the street in Hogsmeade, but somehow in the next moments, I found myself in the dungeons at Hogwarts. In the room where Harry and I used to meet. The place where we first made love. The place where I broke his heart.
It must be my happy place.
That was sarcasm in case you missed it.
It�s funny, I have always feared death. It's why I gave up Harry and joined Voldemort in the first place - I didn't want to die; I was always afraid of where I might end up.
Ironic isn't it? I gave up Harry and I died anyway. But at least it was for a good cause.
The best cause.
The Headmaster knows I am here. I went to him straight away, but made him swear not to tell Harry or anyone else for that matter what happened. I don't want Harry to know that I didn't cross over. It would only bring him more pain.
And I think I�ve caused him enough pain for one lifetime.
- 19
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- 21
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All\'s Fair In Love And War