The Nothing I've Become (Areas of Expertise II)

-- Hi, Sorry I haven't updated for a while, but I've been ill and also RL has been very difficult - too much to do, not enough time to do it in! Still, here is another update, and, if I feel inspired (which hopefully I will) the next one shouldn't be too long in coming! SP

Chapter Nineteen - Kept in the Dark, but You Were There in Front of Me

'He remembers?!' Ron's voice was incredulous, but held a note of relief too.

Hermione nodded.

Snape had helped her carry Harry almost all the way back. He had left her on the corridor as he had heard another person approaching. Snape had scurried off to delay whoever it was, leaving Hermione to race down to the Room, get Ron's help, and drag Harry back between them.

Now Harry lay in his bed, unconscious, and Hermione and Ron were seated in the living area wondering what to do next.

'Really?' Ron asked, 'You're not just getting my hopes up?'

Hermione rolled her eyes. 'No, Ronald, I'm not just getting your hopes up. Harry really remembers Sapphire and this Room and everything, I think.'

'Is he going to be all right?' Ron queried, glancing in the direction of Harry's room.

Hermione shrugged. 'I don't know. I hope so, but he has had so much to deal with, and really, we should have seen that he tended to hide from things he didn't want to deal with. We've seen him do it before ... when Sirius died he just squashed his feelings. I am so annoyed that I didn't work out that forgetting things is how he copes, after all that's what he did when he was kidnapped by the Death Eaters.'

Ron shifted and put his arm around her. She stifled a sob. 'It's ok, Hermione, no one expects you to know all the answers.'

'I do.' She admitted, turning her face into Ron's shoulder and starting to cry softly.

The red head held her lovingly, letting her finally react to everything that had happened. As she cried, he thought about Harry nearly killing Snape and suddenly remembering their life together. He wondered how a mind recovered from something like that.

He was suddenly horribly afraid that he knew exactly how Harry would cope.


'Hermione,' he began urgently, unable to indulge her any longer, this was too important, 'what if Harry comes out of this coma and has forgotten everything again? We've got to stop him letting his brain hide everything.'

'Oh no!' Hermione moaned, leaping up, eyes and nose reddened. 'You're right! Quick!'

The two ran into Harry's room and, whilst Ron shook his friend fiercely, Hermione began casting variations on the Legilimens spell to enable her to access Harry's mind and remove those memories his mind was seeking to hide.

Ron began yelling in his attempt to awaken Harry, which made Hermione frown. 'Honestly, Ronald, I'm trying to concentrate! I've never cast these spells before. In fact, I'm not entirely sure they're correct, but, after having lived with Harry like he has been I'm willing to try almost anything!'

Ron frowned back but stopped screaming at the black haired boy.

Why was everything so loud?

He was floating on a sea of black. He trailed a hand into the water and discovered it was really material of some sort. The feel of it oddly comforted him, yet he didn't know why. He moved steadily and smoothly through the 'lake', and saw small islands approaching. In the centre of each was a shining crystal.

He knew, without knowing how he knew, that the crystals were dangerous to him. They wouldn't explode like a bomb, but they were definitely something that would cause him discomfort or maybe even worse.

So, as he drifted past, he kept his hands well away from the gems.

He moved deeper and deeper into the black lake. Here the material he floated on made waves and the going was harder. He noticed too that the crystals here were cracked. Some had blinding white centres that he had to shield his eyes from. Wincing, he turned his head away and wished to move on.

The material carried him past the out croppings and even closer to the centre of the area.

At the very centre, the black material lashed against his body, and he struggled to free himself from it as it entangled him relentlessly.

A large island stood alone, a black diamond on the stony ground. As Harry stared at it, the jewel showed a hair line fracture, which grew as it split apart. Blinding white light again stabbed into Harry's eyes, making him screw them shut, but it did no good. The light was inside him, burning his heart and lungs.

He felt a sob rise in his chest. It was so hard to breathe. He wanted it to stop. The pain had to stop; he couldn't survive agony like it.

The light receded, the diamond began to heal itself; all of the blinding illumination vanishing as it sealed itself.

Harry sighed with relief.

And then the gem shattered, sending light out in every direction to light the other islands, to make their stones sparkle and shudder violently.

Harry screamed. He was being burnt from the inside out.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' he screamed, on and on and on until his throat was raw, yet still he continued, unable to stop. He was sure his face was melting, his skin dribbling over his bones to puddle on the black fabric.

Ron glanced worriedly at Hermione. 'Is it working?'

Hermione's face was white with effort, and she gritted her teeth in determination. 'I don't know,' she muttered.

Harry was wrapped in the material, but it wasn't comforting, it was suffocating. He was being bandaged like a mummy, ready for burial. He flailed and choked, tears spattering onto the cloth, as he struggled to free himself, but there was no hard surface he could push against, no purchase he could get. He was dying.

'Help,' he gasped weakly, then clapped a hand over his dry lips - the material was trying to enter his mouth!

The material clutched at his face, pressing down over his eyes, forcing him to close them. Tears leaked from them and soaked the fabric, yet nothing could stop the blackness as it strangled him...

Fight.

He was no longer alone. A voice was echoing around him.

Fight!

He was so tired. He didn't think he could fight.

FIGHT!

The relentless voice pushed him into action. He would show whoever it was that there was no point - he was doomed. He twisted and turned and felt the material loosen and fall away from him easily.

He couldn't believe it.

FIGHT!

I'm free.

Without saying anything, or even lighting the way, the voice guided him to one of the islands.

FIGHT! the voice demanded again.

Harry was angry. He picked up the gem, feeling it vibrate in his hand, and he threw it far away. It landed on the black fabric, and somehow, magically, shattered.

He bent over as the light slammed into him. Once he had absorbed all of the rays, he ran to the next island. He remembered how slowly he had drifted before, and how far apart the islands had seemed, now though they were crowding around him, and his trainers weren't sinking into the fabric; it was holding his weight.

He smashed crystal after crystal, sobbing as each burst of light hit him. It hurt so much!

Don't give up.

The voice was so calm, so assured, that Harry answered, 'I won't!' and continued on.

CRASH!

SMASH!

Harry stopped, gasping for breath.

Around him were the remnants of the crystals - shattered glass around him and underfoot. He crunched across it moving confidently away from the centre of the 'lake'. He paused, seeing the edge of it - there was nothing to step on.

He stopped at the very periphery. He was suspended high up. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew he was. The ground was far far beneath him.

Do it.

He gulped and stepped into oblivion.