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The Afterlife and Times of Myrtle Potter	By : NormanCharles Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Harry/Hermione Views: 19697 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Okay, okay. I'm NOT JK Rowlings, I do not own Harry Potter. I make no money from writing these stories, I do it because it's fun and other people seem to enjoy what I write - the best of whom write review and tell me when I get it right and

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
Chapter 20: The Hall of
Miseries

The floating globe
shattered, raining shards of glass over the three mages, and two very hungry
dementors floated toward the only source of food in the room.

Rufus Scrimgeour had his wand
out, �We need your patronus Harry!� he shouted.

�No need Minister� Hermione
said in a serene voice as the two shadowy figures floated down to bow at her
feet.

To say that the Minister of
Magic was shocked would be the understatement of the decade.�

�How are you doing that?� he
rasped, still not believing his eyes.

�Please Minister,� she
whispered. ��We�re talking.�

�Alright �Mione?� Harry asked
solicitously.

�Never better� she responded. ��Why
don�t you test drive the time turner that Mr. Blanc gave you and see what this
is all about?�

Harry nodded and placed the
thin chain around his neck, �one turn enough do you suppose?�

She nodded, never taking her
eyes off the essensentials at her feet.

�Okay,� he said and gave the
tiny hourglass a turn.

For the second time in his life
he felt the odd backward moving sensation, but only for a moment.� He found
himself in a dark, cold room.� He disillusioned himself and stood near the door.�
Turning the knob he peered out into the circular foyer and quickly ducked back
as he heard footsteps approach.

�Who left this door ajar?� a
gruff voice demanded, �don�t you all know what�s in here?� Merlin�s beard!�

The door swung inward and Harry
just jumped back in time to avoid being plowed into by the Department of
Mysteries employee.� As the unctuous civil servant checked to see that the room
was empty Harry quickly scuttled out, keeping close to the wall.� He headed out
of the DoM and toward the Hexagonal Office, where he assumed he and the
Minister of Magic were having a heart to heart.� As he rounded an empty corner
he dropped the disillusionment spell and transfigured his plain black robe to
the maroon of an auror.� He had time; he looked at a desk calendar and realized
he�d gone back one whole day.� He looked closely at the time turner, a
golden disk with a tiny hourglass set in place by tiny cantilevers.� As he
studied the device he saw the word �interval� engraved on the edge.� The
movable outer ring had arrows that would line up for minutes, hours and days;
ahead and back.� The device was currently set on �days� and �back.�

�Great,� he thought, disgusted
with himself; �what am I supposed to do for a whole day?�

Then his eyes lit up as he
remembered exactly what he had been doing the day before at about that time.�
He all but ran to the apparition point where he disapparated with a slight
popping noise and appeared in the hall just outside his bedroom. �Carefully
opening the door he saw his past self from behind as he tit-shagged his
beloved.

Harry regretfully left his past
self after about two hours of intense and very satisfying sex. He smiled to
himself as he re-dressed and apparated back to the ministry.� Ducking into a
washroom stall he began to flip the time turner in one hour increments until he
arrived at his target time.� He scribbled a note and headed out into the
hallway where he saw his past self and Scrimgeour and Hermione turning the
corner ahead.� He put up the concealing hood and had no trouble bumping into
himself as he�d already done it before; he mumbled an apology as he passed the
note and walked briskly away.

Harry rounded the corner again
and re-applied the near invisibility spell heading back to the Department of
Mysteries.� As he walked into the door that held the earlier Melvin Blanc he
was just in time to hear �imperio!�

He watched as Auror Dawlish
forced his will on Melvin Blanc.� Dawlish, the Department of Magical Law
Enforcement�s second in command.

�I suppose you think you�re
clever usin� my voice to talk to Krofcheck, eh Whitey?�

Of course, Blanc is French for
white, hence �Whitey!�

�Now when the Minister and Mr.
an� Mrs. Potter come in, you�re gonna� want to show em� your clever little
dementor traps, clear?�

The man struggled but Dawlish
had years of experience with this particular unforgivable curse.

�Clear?� Dawlish repeated.

Blanc seemed to resign himself
as he nodded.

�An no more usin� my voice!�
the senior auror ordered.

Harry understood that he
couldn�t act until he had caught up with his original time line so he waited
and followed the senior auror.� When it looked like the man was about to leave
the DoM Harry sent a silent tripping hex that left the bewildered auror
sprawled face-down on the floor.� Harry took the two-way signaling mirror from
his own robes and slipped it into the hood of Dawlish�s cloak, silently
activating it as he did so.

The big man stood up quickly,
looking all around to make sure no one saw him tripping over his own feet, then
left.

Harry went back to the Hall of
Misery�s door and waited.� Just as Blanc was leaving the room Harry slipped in
and waited until he saw himself turn the tiny hourglass before revealing
himself.

The two starving essensentials
looked like they were pleading with, or perhaps praying to his bushy haired
best friend.

�Hermione� he asked softly,
�can we do anything for them?�

�I don�t know, maybe,� she said.
��They�re so young, so hungry. �They�ve been feeding on happiness for so
long that they crave it like a drug.�

�Can we change that?� Harry
asked. ��I mean, you did.�

�But I don�t know what I did,
or how I did it!� she wailed.� At the sound of her anguish the two
essensentials rose up to their full, intimidating height.

�It�s okay� she said in her
oddly harmonic dementor�s voice, soothing them. ��No one here is upsetting me,
we�re just upset for you, we want to help and we don�t know how!�

The harmonic came back
�communion.�

Hermione smiled and turned to
Harry, �I need to try something, okay?�

�What are you doing?� he asked
suspiciously.

�Communing� she replied and
placed a hand on each of the essensentials� bowed heads.

�This is my essence� she sang
in a beautifully unearthly alto soprano, �given freely, take it, eat, and we
shall become as one.�

The semi-corporeal wraiths
responded - discordantly at first - before finding the proper harmonies.� As they
communed the air in the room began to warm, and the feeling normally associated
with dementors faded to neutral.

The most astonishing change was
that of the essensentials themselves. �Their skeletal forms fleshed out,
becoming androgynous human-like forms.� Harry was reminded of aliens he�d seen
on the telly, Roswell, he remembered.

Rufus Scrimgeour, Minister of
Magic was at a total loss.

Hermione, looking very much the
worse for wear turned on the Minister.� �This is closer to what a dementor looks
like, when it�s not perverted by the unspeakables here!� Did you know that
Minister?�

He shook his head, unable to
speak.

�These gentle beings have been
starved and twisted until they have become a wizard�s worst nightmare, and it�s
all because of what goes on in here.� Where�s the accountability?� Government
agencies have to be transparent or they form shadow governments! �Ask yourself
Minister; who�s really in charge here?�

�That would be us,� two wizards
and a witch turned to the familiar voice of Cornelius Fudge, Ex-minister of
Magic, Dawlish and half a dozen aurors in his wake.� Everyone was pointing a
wand except Harry, Hermione and Rufus Scrimgeour.

As the three were relieved of
their wands Fudge chuckled, �very clever my dear, you could write for the
Quibbler, conspiracy theories and all that rubbish!�

�But it�s not rubbish, is it Mister
Fudge?� she replied, and then cocked her head as if listening to another voice
that only she could hear. ��Oh, that explains it!�

Hermione looked at Fudge and
shook her head �it was your wife.� �It wasn�t a question, just a simple
statement of fact.

He couldn�t help but answer. ��Persephone
felt that I was spending too much time at my job, I was a junior assistant to
an undersecretary at the time and when other wizards went home for the day I
stayed to complete my assigned tasks.� Do you know what happens to a government
employee who gets the job done?� They keep giving him jobs until he can�t get
them done anymore.� Well I kept getting the jobs done.� I gravitated to the
Department of Mysteries where time was on my side.� It got to the point where
Persephone only saw me on weekends, then only on Sundays.� She begged me to
quit, or at least slow down, which would have amounted to the same thing.� I
came home one Sunday night to find her soulless shell lying on the kitchen
floor.� The healers said she had been demented so I called the thing that she
had summoned a dementor.� The name stuck.�

�And you�ve been running the government
from behind the scenes, from the Department of Mysteries for how long?� Surely
you must have realized that someone would out you sooner or later.�

�Who would believe them? �Lovegood
perhaps?�

�I�m curious Fudge, just how
many of Lawrence Lovegood�s �crazy conspiracy theories� were spot on?�
Scrimgeour asked.

�

�Well, there are conspiracies
and there are conspiracies.� You see, when our young Mr. Potter was warning the
world about the return of Voldemort we in the Department of Mysteries knew, how
could we not?� But we had an excellent opportunity here for the death eaters
and the Order of the Phoenix to wipe each other out.� One or the other would
prevail of course, but the �winner� would be decimated, easy to control or
destroy.

�Did you know I was the most
popular peace time Minister in history?� It�s true, and people will want those
�good old days� back. �I�ll be Magical Britain�s Richard Nixon, the comeback
kid!�

�Its all about power, isn�t it
Fudge?� Harry observed.

�Of course, with power you can
have wealth, security, popularity.� You can have it all.�

�By any means necessary?� Harry
asked.

Fudge shrugged, �why not?�

�You know Fudge, someone once
told me that there is no good or evil, only power, and those too weak to use
it.�

�Sounds like someone after my
own heart!� Fudge replied.

�Oh I don�t doubt that, it was
Voldemort.�

Fudge just chuckled. ��Not to
worry mi� lad, no one�s going to hurt any of you.� We�re just going to
obliviate your memories of this little encounter and place the dementors back
into their cages so that they�ll be useful again and no one will be the wiser!�

�You forgot about something Mr.
Fudge.� Harry said with a smile. ��All the would-be dictators of the 20^th
century have used it, and so have you.�

�What�s that Harry?�

�The Fourth Estate,� then he looked
directly at Dawlish and said in a loud clear voice �did you get that
Sweetheart?�

A tiny voice seemed to come
from behind Dawlish �yes love, and so did the Wizarding Wireless Service! �They
tell me it�ll be the most famous magical broadcast in history!�

Fudge went pale, �what did you
do?�

Harry smirked, �Just placed a
signaling mirror in ex-auror Dawlish�s cloak. �He�s been broadcasting to my
home and out to the airwaves for the past half hour or so.�

Scrimgeour stood tall and
ordered, �Aurors, stand down!�

They all dropped their wands
except for Fudge, who had gone purple with rage. �The Ex-minister leveled his
wand at Hermione and shouted �Arvada . . .�

He never got to finish.� Both
essensentials blocked the unfinished curse with their own bodies as Harry
tackled the man.

�Do you want him Kissed?�
Hermione asked hopefully.

�We need to question him first,
but after that, he�s all yours m�dear.�

�Hermione,� Harry asked, �are
you okay?�

�I will be Harry, there�s
enough conflicting emotion in this room that I have a veritable smorgasbord in
here. �I just need a few minutes.�

He hugged her tightly and said,
�Take all the time you need.�

�Oh that�s delicious,� she
moaned, returning his embrace, �pure unadulterated love, 1998, a very good
vintage!�

The other essensentials glowed
in approval as well.

�Merlin�s Balls!� Rufus
Scrimgeour bellowed, �how could this happen?�

Harry, who was still embracing
a recovering Hermione, answered.� �Only too easily.� People tend to the path of
least resistance, and if someone is willing to lead the �sheeple� will follow.�

�Sheeple?�

�Yep, when the mob mentality
takes over and people can stop thinking for themselves they become like so many
sheep.� Sheeple.

�Which begs the question,
Minister, what are you going to do about it?�

The leonid man activated his
own signaling mirror, �Weasley!�

�S-sir?�

�You heard?�

�The broadcast?� Yes sir!� It�s
playing on every wireless in the ministry right now!�

�Lock down the building, shut
down the floo network and ward all outgoing apparition points!�

�Already done sir.�

Scrimgeour raised both eyebrows
in surprise, �on who�s authority?�

�That�d by mine!� Alastor
Moody�s voice called from somewhere behind Percy, �I also confiscated the
record from the offices of Fudge and Dawlish and everyone they did business
with on a daily basis.�

�Good thinking Alastor, very
thorough!�

�I jus� locked down the place;
young Weasley here had the idea to confiscate the records.�

�Let�s make everyone
comfortable Weasley, we�re in for a long night.�

�Minister?� Harry asked.�
�Could we go home, please?� This has been very draining for Hermione.�

�Can you make a portkey?�

Harry smirked and picked up a
shard of glass from the floor.� He touched the shard with the tip of his wand
and said �Grimmauld Place, foyer, portus!�

�I�ll take that as a yes then,
go on lad, you and your lady have earned a rest.� We�ll talk next week, all
right?�

Harry nodded and pantomimed to
the essensentials to touch the portkey.� The four of them vanished in a rush of
wind.

The Purge, as it came to be
known, came swiftly.� Heads of nearly every department were sacked.� Most of
them, it turned out, had been Fudge appointees.� Junior undersecretaries became
department managers.� Department heads became division heads.� A merit system
was put into place, with mandatory annual reviews.� Cronyism in the Ministry of
Magic died a painful death that night.

_____ooo000ooo_____

Author�s note: The Hexagonal
Office is my take on the layout of the Minister of Magic�s working space.� At
first I thought Oval office, but then I thought of shapes normally associated
with magic � and the HEXagonal office just sounded right to me.
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The Afterlife and Times of Myrtle Potter