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Soldier's Welcome	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 25567 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter; that belongs to J. K. Rowling. I am making no money from this fic.

Chapter List
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Chapter Twenty�Settling
Into Distrust

�� More than
one thing bothers me about Gregory�s guilt.�

�� Draco
nodded to encourage Potter to go on, while his left hand closed into a sharp
grip on the seat of his chair, down by his side where Potter couldn�t see.
Potter might not see it even if Draco was using his right hand, since he had
his head bowed at the moment and hair falling into his eyes while he pulled at
it.

�� Draco didn�t
care. Potter would ask why he was upset if he showed that he was upset, and Draco didn�t have all the words to
explain how much it annoyed him that Potter apparently intended to let their
near-kiss go.

�� Sometimes
Draco hated his own ability to qualify things. It had been a kiss, as much as any meeting of lips was. But he had to
remember that Potter hadn�t initiated it for that reason, and that he seemed embarrassed
about it, and�

�� And a
hundred other factors, all of which contributed to the situation being handled
in a way that he hated.

�� If she was
taken by surprise and facing two Aurors at once,� Potter continued in a
meditative way, his fingers still playing with his fringe, �how did she manage
to escape? It seems like she must have
had a warning, or someone helped her. That�s the kind of thing that makes me tempted
to say that she wasn�t guilty and the real Nihil is using her as a pawn.
Someone could have planted those documents in her rooms.� He leaned back in his
chair abruptly enough that his hair flipped behind his head again and turned
those unnerving green eyes on Draco, frowning. �On the other hand, why would
she burn those documents instead of reporting them the moment she found them?
And why attack Dearborn and Portillo Lopez instead of explaining the situation?
If someone is framing her, then she
has an awfully strange way of responding to the manipulation.�

�� Grateful to
have something to think about that would put the non-kiss out of his head,
Draco nodded. �It suggests she had something to hide. Or perhaps that one of
the two confronting her was her enemy.�

�� Then why
not speak to the other one?� Potter grimaced and dug his fingers into his hair,
rubbing in a way that made Draco have to bite his tongue. He had almost said
that Potter would make himself look like a demented hedgehog, but he would look
like that without the rubbing, too. �I can�t imagine that Portillo Lopez or
Dearborn would refuse to listen,
given how strange the situation was. They might as well suspect one person as
another.�

�� You forget
the young woman who apparently escaped Gregory�s custody and came moaning to
Portillo Lopez�s door,� Draco said smoothly. �She practically ensured that
anything Gregory said would be taken as an attempt to throw suspicion off
herself, where it belonged.�

�� Potter
narrowed his eyes. �That�s convenient, isn�t it?�

�� Very.�

�� Potter bit
his thumbnail. Draco dug his hand into the chair again. After several moments
of scraping, snapping sounds that made Draco ill to listen to, never mind
watch, Potter shook his head and said, �No matter how I think about this, it
doesn�t make sense. There�s always some puzzle piece missing�unless everyone is
a pawn in some kind of huge chess game.� He looked hopefully at Draco. �Do you
think that could be it?�

�� No,� Draco
said. �Dumbledore was clever, and the Dark Lord was cunning, but they still
didn�t control hundreds of people in the immediate vicinity. There had to be
people in Hogwarts who weren�t allied with Dumbledore��

�� Like most
of Slytherin House, for a start.�

�� Can you
blame us?� Draco leaned forwards. �He never offered us any special terms or
protection that would have made us take notice of him. He left us at the mercy
of our families and the Dark Lord.�

�� Potter�s
smile was gentle and bitter both at once. �And would you have listened to him,
if he did? Or would you have thought that he was trying to manipulate you into serving
him as loyal puppets, the way you thought the Gryffindors were?�

�� Draco
tilted his head, reluctantly conceding the point. �I still could have used some
sort of help during our sixth year,� he muttered.

�� Potter surprised
him completely by reaching out and tapping the back of his knuckles with one
finger, not quite a squeeze of the hand but a more intimate gesture than Draco
had expected, given what they were discussing. �Yeah, I know,� he said. �I wish
I could have helped.� And on he went again, before Draco could recover from
that surprise. �So let�s not get ourselves into the same kind of situation. If
we start distrusting everyone and
deciding that no evidence would be enough to convince us, then we�ll probably
alienate people who actually want to help us.�

�� Draco was
silent for some time. On the one hand, what Potter said made sense. And even if
Nihil had corrupted dozens of young trainees and was so clever as to put grief
magic inside a human body, that didn�t mean he, or she, could do everything.

�� But on the
other, Draco could not shake off the clutch of instincts he�d learned through
real-life experience as well as the study of history and politics.

�� We can
trust ourselves,� Draco said at last. �And probably your friends. And maybe a
few of the people who are too stupid to cause trouble or think for themselves,
like Aaron.�

�� How do you
control him, anyway?�

�� Draco
smiled sweetly at Potter. �Consider that a trade secret that you�ll learn along
the way, if you�re lucky,� he said, and delighted in the way that Potter rolled
his eyes. �But I don�t trust anyone else. Not even the instructors.� My circle of trust would be wide enough if
it included simply you and myself. But he knew Potter would scoff at that
as too paranoid, so he didn�t say it.

�� We can�t
just set ourselves up as�as private investigators, taking on a conspiracy all
by ourselves,� Potter argued.

�� Why not?�

�� Potter
paused. From the way his eyelashes flickered, Draco knew he was considering the
possibility. He liked it more than he wanted to admit, too. Draco knew that not
from the way he behaved, but simply from his past at Hogwarts.

�� He leaned
nearer and lowered his voice persuasively. �Why not?� he repeated. �We haven�t
done so badly so far.�

�� Except for
the fact that we each spent a few days exhausted,� Potter said flatly. �Oh, and
there was the small matter of a false Death Eater attack and the limp human
skin on the floor.�

�� Draco
flicked a hand. �Unimportant,� he said. �Minor consequences that we should have
been better-prepared for. We are going to plan
next time.�

�� Potter
studied him with a jaundiced eye. �You planned when we went to the
interrogation rooms, and look what happened.�

�� This time,
it will be more thorough.� Draco scowled at Potter. Partner or not, trustworthy
or not, he had retained his irritating habit of looking harder at Draco�s
faults than his virtues. �Anyone could have fallen into the mistakes we�ve
fallen into. This time, we�ll do the things no one else can.�

�� Potter
stared doubtfully at him through a few strands of tumbled hair. Draco buried
his hand in the chair seat so that he wouldn�t be tempted to smooth it back and
let a sneer cross his face.

�� Don�t tell
me,� he said, �that you�re falling into the trap of thinking you�re the same as
everyone else. Not better, maybe, but
the same? Don�t make me laugh.�

�� Potter rose
to the challenge with a sharp chuckle. �After everything that�s happened to me?
Hardly.�

�� Good. And I�m
the same way.� Draco tilted his head. �We�ll continue investigating, and not
confide everything we�re doing to the instructors. Since they would probably
notice if we asked too many questions, I think we should ask questions of their
trainees. Too many of them take attention and admiration from first-years as a
matter of course for them to suspect us.�

�� Potter gave
him a surprised look, as if he had never expected ideas that good from Draco.
Then he nodded. �That sounds like it might work,� he muttered. �And I reckon
that we can do research on grief magic, and whether it�s possible to hide
something like that in a human body.�

�� Draco
snorted. �We know it�s possible because we saw it happen, Potter.�

�� Unexpectedly,
Potter smiled. �Then would you care to describe the process?� he asked. �Because
something like that would be dead useful to know, assuming that we ever wanted
to become world-dominating maniacs.� He stood up and turned in a circle, his
arms spread wide. �You can cast the spells on me with my permission, so the
compatible magic won�t stop you from doing it.� He twisted his head and grinned
at Draco over his shoulder.

�� Draco felt
his shoulders tighten. It wasn�t so much because Potter�s grin roused painful
memories�though it reminded him of the way that Blaise would sometimes grin
when he had played a particularly good prank�as because he suddenly realized
how much he had wanted to see that look on Potter�s face, directed at him.

�� And he
knew, because he was feeling the emotions, how easily that longing could
transform into a fancy for other looks.

�� He clenched
his hands again. Meanwhile, Potter seemed to have decided that something was
wrong, because he had turned around fully again and was regarding Draco with a
perplexed expression.

�� I meant
it, you know,� he said quietly. �I do trust you. I would give you permission to
try the spell on me if you really wanted.�

�� Fuck it. The worst thing he can do is refuse
me. Draco rose abruptly to his feet. Potter started, but didn�t back up and
automatically reach for his wand the way he would if his words about trust were
just a pretty act. �What I want,�
Draco said, �is for us to discuss what happened when I gave your magic back to
you.�

�� Potter just
blinked. �All right,� he said slowly. �I do think that we need to figure out
why and how we can drain each other like that, and why it isn�t a common thing
with compatible magic.� He rolled his eyes. �What you said about not being
normal applies to my magic, too, it seems.�

�� Draco took
a step closer, almost at the end of his patience. How could Potter trust him
and be so protective of him, and then turn around and exasperate him so much? �Not
that,� he said. �You know very well what I�m talking about.�

�� By the
sudden widening of Potter�s eyes, apparently he had managed to put the
near-kiss out of his mind very effectively up until this point. He coughed and
looked away as he had when he was with Portillo Lopez. Draco waited. This time,
he wasn�t about to run away, but he wouldn�t let himself be goaded into saying
something, either. He had done enough by opening the conversation.

�� Look,�
Potter said. He sounded as if he was stepping off a cliff into a high wind,
with the ridiculous expectation that the wind would somehow carry him and bear
him up. �I know that you�re offended I forced myself on you. It doesn�t�it doesn�t
matter if sometimes I think I see you
look at me with attraction of some kind.� Potter�s face was so red by this
point that it looked as if it hurt. He was mumbling, but Draco strained his
ears so that he didn�t miss one fascinating word of this. �I had no right to
kiss you without your permission. I just, it was the only way I could think of
to get my magic back.�

�� Draco
stared at him. He didn�t know what surprised him more: that Potter had picked
up on the reason behind some of his lingering looks, or the interpretation he
had put on it.

�� Then Potter
looked up at him miserably, and Draco decided that the interpretation was
definitely it.

�� I�m not offended,� he said. �I want to discuss it.�

�� Er,� said
Potter. He was now staring at Draco as if the high cliff had turned out to be a
single stair. �But what else is there to say? If you�re not offended, why bring
it up?� Potter scratched his head and looked honestly puzzled.

�� Because�we
should.� Draco hated to flounder on
such a simple matter, but he had assumed Potter would understand the necessity
of this as well as he would, and so he didn�t have an explanation ready.

�� But
neither of us is dating anyone,� Potter said, his frown deepening, �so there�s
nothing to explain to anyone.� He paused suddenly, his eyes widening. �I�m
sorry, I shouldn�t have assumed that. You�re not dating anyone, are you?�

�� Draco gave
him a withering look in lieu of the words that he couldn�t summon at the
moment.

�� Right,�
Potter said, with a small nod. �And we�re never going to date each other. So
why do we need to talk about it?�

�� Draco took
a step back from him, as struck silent by the words as he had been by the words
Potter uttered in hospital. Potter�s simple assumption of the truth was a more
effective block than an angry denial would have been. It was clear that the
vague longings Draco had entertained simply had no place in his conception of
the universe.

�� And they should have none in mine, either!
Whoever heard of Harry Bloody Potter being self-possessed when Draco Malfoy was
at a loss? I have my pride.

�� Draco shook
his head and said sharply, �I have no idea. You�re right, we should research
grief magic and see if there are books about it. Nihil must have learned it
from somewhere.�

�� Potter
nodded and said, �Do you want to work on the compatible magic at the same time,
or do this research by itself first?�

�� By itself
first,� Draco said. �We�ll work on the compatible magic as we have time. Between
the investigations and the fact that we have exams coming up in a few weeks, we�ll
be quite busy enough as it is.�

�� Potter
groaned and rolled his eyes. �Why the fuck
does the Auror program have to take after Hogwarts in scheduling exams near
Christmas?�

�� Draco
mentally rolled his eyes in return and let Potter lapse into such commonplaces,
while in his mind he rejoiced in his near escape. It was obvious that Potter
had no interest in the kind of �discussion� that Draco wanted and would gape at
him witlessly if he tried to have it. Draco would have looked like a fool if he
pursued the matter.

�� The same
part of his mind that taunted him about being a coward for refusing to look in
Professor Snape�s Pensieve laughed and told him that he was being a coward now,
too.

�� But it was
beneath the dignity of a Malfoy to listen to small voices in his head, and
therefore Draco did not have to.

*

�� Mate, can
I talk to you?�

�� Ron was
standing over him with a determined expression. Harry had expected it, because Ron
was really bad at being subtle.
Throughout the evening, he�d been sneaking sideways looks at Harry and taking
deep breaths and then releasing them with a little huff as his brow wrinkled.
Harry had deliberately chosen the homework for his least challenging class, Auror
Conduct, because it would matter less if Ron interrupted his concentration
while he was doing it.

�� Of course,�
Harry said, and moved his homework away across the table. He hoped the
expression on his face was neutral, the way he meant it to be. This was going
to be hard.

�� But then he
thought of the way Hermione was making Ron fend for himself, and he thought of
Draco�s support. And he thought of the way Ron had dragged Ginny into this
private argument.

�� He could do
this.

�� Look,� Ron
said, forcing Harry to pay attention to something other than what was going on
inside his own head. He had his hands clasped in front of him, and Harry
thought he was trying to look serious and stern. He looked like Dudley begging
his mother to be allowed to stay up instead of going to bed. Harry firmly bit
the inside of his cheek so that he wouldn�t laugh. Ron frowned at him and
shuffled from foot to foot. �I know I did a few stupid things. But I want you
to be happy, I swear.�

�� Involving Ginny
wasn�t the way to do it,� Harry couldn�t keep from muttering.

�� Why not?� Ron leaned forwards. �Look, I know
that you and me and Hermione couldn�t just stay together forever and not change
anything, because sooner or later Hermione and I are�well, we�re already
dating, and.� He cleared his throat. Harry had to bite his cheek again. At
least the way Hermione had treated Ron meant he was reconsidering whether their
wedding was that certain. �Things change,� Ron went on in a slightly louder
voice. �So you should be near us, but you couldn�t marry her. I was looking for someone you could marry. Ginny�s my sister and Hermione�s friend. It would be
perfect.�

�� Harry shook
his head.

�� But you
were happy for a little while,� Ron said. �What changed?�

�� Things I
don�t want to tell you about yet,� Harry said, because that was easier than
trying to lie. �I don�t want to date her anymore. If you still have that in
your head, you should get rid of it now, because I have no intention of talking
to her except for a few polite phrases ever again.� He wanted to look away from
Ron as he remembered some of the words Ginny had spoken, but then he reminded
himself he had a right to be angry about that. He held Ron�s gaze instead.

�� Ron�s jaw
dropped. Then he shook his head. �Maybe you feel that way now, Harry,� he said,
voice so condescending that it set Harry�s teeth on edge, �but in a few months,
you won�t��

�� Fuck you,�
Harry hissed, with venom that he�d had no idea was going to bubble out of him.
He stood up and moved one step towards Ron before he forced himself to stop. He
would punch or hex Ron in this mood, and that might be the end of their
friendship. He�d fought too hard to be himself and yet keep his friends. He
wouldn�t be the one to ruin this, even if Ron was.

�� Ron,
meanwhile, just stared at him with round eyes and mouth, too stunned to speak,
and let Harry have the minute he needed to think things through and choose his
words.

�� You can�t
be sure about my feelings like that,� Harry said at last. He tried to make
every word heavy and forceful, the way he would talk to Draco if he called
Hermione a Mudblood. Ron couldn�t be under any mistaken impression about this,
or at least it couldn�t be Harry�s fault if he was. �You can�t say that I�ll
change in a few months and become what you want me to be. Never. I hate it when you say that, and I hate that you think I�m
just acting to spite you when I do what I want. All right?�

�� But you
could be happy,� Ron said, and now he looked injured. �I�m just doing what I
think will make you happy.�

�� Well, you�re
wrong about that.� Harry controlled himself as carefully as he could,
envisioning the way Draco could look cold and disdainful. That was better than
shouting. �I don�t want that again. I don�t want you to think you�re the only
one who knows what will make me happy. I know that better than you. Do you
understand?�

�� Ron looked
mutinous, which Harry knew meant he didn�t agree, but he gave a single angry
shrug and turned away. �Between you and Hermione,� he muttered, �I don�t know
who�s worse. I was trying to help.�

�� I
appreciate the intention,� Harry said, �not the action. Do you understand the
difference?�

�� And now you
sound like bloody McGonagall.� But Ron�s voice was a bit more relaxed, and he
gave Harry a tense smile before he nodded. �Yeah, I do.� He hesitated, then asked,
�How much time are you going to spend with Malfoy this evening?�

�� This
evening?� Harry blinked. �None. Why? It�s not like Draco and I are joined at
the hip,� he added.

�� Or the lips.

�� But he had
started playing a new edition of the game he used to play with thoughts of
Ginny, called, �Let�s Not Think About My Mouth Touching Draco�s,� and he could
put that image out of his mind with relative ease.

�� Want to
study for the Conduct exam together?� Ron�s voice was low, and he glanced down
as if he expected rejection in a way that was really irritating, but Harry
recognized it for the peace offering it was.

�� He nodded and
moved his homework so that Ron had a place to put his papers on the same table.
Ron beamed.

�� Harry
smiled at him. Sometimes, it was good to remember he did have a friend under that annoying exterior.

*

�� Who is Nihil�s pawn? I�m sure that he didn�t
have only one. And if he really is Gregory, or if Gregory is close to him, then
surely another instructor must have agreed to act as the conspiracy�s eyes and ears
now that Gregory is gone.

�� Draco
watched Ketchum from under his eyelids. He had already finished the written
exam for Battlefield Tactics, but he had to wait for Potter to finish before he
could navigate the practical part, which included a maze. Ketchum was moving
from desk to desk, cheerfully offering help and checking for cheating at one
and the same time.

�� It could be him. No one can be that
unnaturally cheerful all the time, and his observation skills, though he�s
using them right now on students, could be useful to Nihil in other ways.

�� The only
thing that kept Draco from being certain Ketchum was a cats-paw was the fact
that he spent so much time with his trainees and in preparation for his
classes, including constructing the obstacle courses he had his students run. Little
as he liked the Mudblood, Draco had to admit he was a dedicated teacher. Someone
would notice if he was spending large amounts of time doing other things, the
kind of duties Nihil would demand of his followers, because of the quality of
his work falling off.

�� Unless he has built his duties to Nihil into
his other work for years.

�� Still,
Draco thought they could do worse than to approach one of Ketchum�s trainees.
So far, their efforts to speak to Portillo Lopez�s had been a failure, because all
of them were madly busy�and it seemed that the Battle Healer had the irritating
habit of choosing modest people who could not easily be flattered and wooed.
Gregory�s trainees were slinking around at the moment, doing their best to show
that they had not been compromised. Dearborn, of course, had no other trainees
that he mentored except Draco.

�� Ketchum�s, then.

�� Draco
turned his head so that he could regard Potter. He was just pushing back from
his desk and handing the completed exam to Ketchum, his face pale and haggard.
Draco narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Potter had looked like that for two days
now. Draco had put it down to the stress of the examinations at first, and then
he had remembered that Potter had started looking downcast one evening shortly after
an owl had come into the dining hall.

�� They had a
moment to speak together while Ketchum declared himself satisfied with Potter�s
paper and walked away to signal to his trainees to activate the spells on the
maze. Draco turned to Potter. �What�s the matter?� he whispered.

�� Nothing.�

�� Draco
stared. A single brusque word, and it shut him out of Potter�s life far more
effectively than all the stammering denials of their kiss had done. He felt as
though he had bumped his head on a stone wall he had expected to be soft and
yielding.

�� He opened
his mouth, and Potter shook his head.

�� Sometimes,
friends keep secrets from each other,� he said, eyes bleak. �This is one of
them.�

�� Ketchum
signaled them to enter the maze before Draco could tell him that his secrets were usually dangerous and
best shared. Potter set his mouth and proceeded to give Draco nothing to
complain about by performing brilliantly. There was no doubt that they would
earn an O for the practical portion of the exam.

�� Then he
slipped away before Draco could corner him.

�� Draco
stared after him. He doesn�t owe me every
detail of his life, but he owes me many of them. And this is something I want
to know.

�� He will tell me.

�� But he may need to be coaxed�

*

�� hieisdragoness18:
Well, as Harry sees it, he has some legitimate reasons for refusing to think
about the kiss.

�� Dragons
Breath: They at least know they can trust each other�hopefully.

�� MewMew2:
Thank you!

�� Mr Spears:
Thanks for reviewing.

�� Alliandre:
Harry is dealing with it by not dealing with it. A shock, I know.

�� Dearborn is
tall and muscular, but also slender.

�� SP777:
Draco is more shocked that Harry doesn�t share some of his basic assumptions, because
he still tends to assume that the way he thinks is the center of the universe
and everyone should instinctively understand it.

�� And no, I�m
not.

�� MiraMira:
Thanks! I meant it to be amusing.

�� callistianstar:
Harry is still certain he made a mistake, which is the main reason he avoids
engaging with Draco when Draco mentions the matter. Plus, he honestly doesn�t
see it as the important gesture that Draco did, since he didn�t make it with
the intention of kissing Draco.
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