Staff behaving badly | By : Goddess81 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 16426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or anything else in the Harry Potter universe. everything belongs toJK Rowling & WB. Any other recognisable characters belong to their respected creators and not to me. I make no money or profit from this story. . |
Staff behaving badly
I own nothing, anything recognizable obviously doesn't belong to me and I promise to put it back once I've finished playing with it, everything written here is just for fun and not profit, although reviews are always welcomed.
This is set 5 years after the war and Hermione has been teaching transfiguration for the last 3 years and is head of Gryfindor, also on the staff are Harry (Quidditch) Sirius (Charms) and Remus (Dada) and obviously Potions is being taught by Severus.
I would just like to say a special thank you to my fabulousBeta ScarletQuill, because without her guidance and regular beatings with her grammar stick my stories would be a damn sight poorer. Also the idea for having Severus' flag green was her idea, I originally was going to have it blue.
Chapter 20.
Polite Notice.
This months staff fun night will take place the day after the pupils have gone home for the holidays, the event is called Man Hunt. You will be placed in one of two teams and those of you who have been excluded from taking part for medical or age reasons you will participate by being judges.
To make up the numbers so that each team is equal in ability and numbers I have taken the liberty of drafting in a few extra players, below are the names of everyone who will be participating in the event. Please be aware that teams will be drawn at random on the day so to reduce the chances of any cheating.
The only thing I have decided in advance are the team captains.
Judges: M. McGonagal, F. Butler, R. Hagrid, S. Trelawney, P. Pomfrey, P. Sprout, I. Pince, B. Babbling and A. Filch.
Contestants: H. Potter, S. Black, R. Lupin, I. Vector, A. Sinistra, F. Weasley, G. Weasley, D. Malfoy, B. Zabini, Gin. Weasley, C. Weasley, P. Parkinson, N. Longbottom, L. Lovegood.
Team Leaders:
Red Team: H. Granger
Green Team: S. Snape
“The woman's completely nuts I tell you!” Declared Sirius loudly to the large group that had gathered on the Quidditch pitch.
“Thank you for your professional opinion Sirius, I shall make sure to remember that at your next evaluation.” Minerva's soft Scottish dialect carrying clearly on the crisp morning air.
The crowd started laughing as Sirius started to say something back and stopped when the headmistress turned her infamous steely gaze on him.
“Hermione, Severus if you would both come to the front, the choosing of teams will begin.” Minerva conjured up a large bowl filled with folded pieces of paper. “You will take turns in drawing names, to decide who goes first we shall flip a coin.... Hermione head or tails?”
“Tails never fails.” Hermione said as Minerva tossed the coin.
“Yes, I'd heard you were a fan of tails.” Severus muttered slyly under his breath.
“Only big tails Severus, which rules you out.” Hermione replied with a smirk.
“Well if that's the case Sweetheart I'd invest in a Basilisk if I were you because there's none bigger than me in these parts.” Severus retorted.
Hermione turned and gave him an innocent smile as she said just loud enough for everyone to hear “Seen a lot of tails then Sevvie? Next time Harry and I go to the Pink Cauldron in Diagon Alley we must remember to keep an eye out for you, I sure Harry knows someone who likes dungeon bats.”
Severus's eyes glittered with amusement at the banter that was going back and forth between them safe in the knowledge that none of what was said was meant with ill intent.
The coin Minerva had flipped had been spinning for an extraordinary amount of time, so long in fact that the headmistress looked round to see which of her staff was misbehaving, she didn't have to look very far as she instantly spotted Sirius looking guilty. “Sirius Black will you behave, for goodness sake.” She said snapping at him “Sorry Hermione which side did you choose again?”
Hermione glanced over at Harry who gave her a wink. “Tails Headmistress.”
Minerva lifted her hand and looked down at the coin in her palm “Tails it is, you get first pick” She said holding out the bowl.
Reaching in Hermione pulled out a thin strip of paper, unfolding it she read the words and grinned “Harry, it looks like you've made the winning side come on down.”
Harry and Hermione bumped chests and laughed as they overheard Severus mutter the words “Typical, bloody fix.”
“Sorry Severus did you say something?”Asked Harry with a knowing smirk brows raised expectantly.
“Not at all Harry just clearing my throat.” Severus replied as he took a slip of paper from the bowl. “Great, I get the mutt on my team.” He said sardonically.
Hermione called out Imogen's name next with Severus pulling out Draco's, after about ten minutes the bowl was empty and Minerva cleared her throat to get everybody's attention.
“Okay the teams are as follows, on the red team under Hermione there is Harry, Imogen, Aurora, Fred, Blaise, Charlie and Neville. And on the green team under Severus is Sirius, Draco, George, Remus, Ginny, Luna and Pansy, is there any questions?” Minerva asked.
“Yeah, just what is Man hunt?” Somebody yelled from the crowd.
Minerva gave them a cunning smile “I'm glad you asked, Man hunt is a muggle game where you and your team members have to hunt and find the other side before they find you, as an extra bonus who ever captures the opposite teams flag will win outright. The hunting ground will extend across the entire expanse of Hogwarts grounds, Pomona and Hagrid will be assisting me in transforming the grounds into a more suitable terrain, so captains you have one hour to get your strategies in order.”
“One last thing before you leave, just in case there are some of you under the illusion that this will be easy with magic, think again Fitzwilliam, Bathsheba and Sybil will be casting a magic inhibitor ward over the grounds, the only spell you will be able to cast is a flare spell in case of emergencies. This is a muggle game you will play it like muggles, you will be transported to your base camp in one hour, these armbands I'm now going to give out will act as a portkey, I suggest you use your time wisely” Minerva rounded up her speech by handing out red and green coloured armbands to the right people before leaving them to their own devices.
“You're going down Bats” Mocked Hermione in a singsong voice, a cheeky grin tugging at her lips.
Severus raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms in front of his chest “You think so little girl? I fail to see how you came to that conclusion.”
She flashed him a superior smile “I work hard, I play hard...” she dropped her voice to almost a whisper as she walked past him “And I fuck hard...” raising her voice back to normal pitch “In fact I bet you a month of Hogsmeade duties, if I win.... you and the rest of the teachers on your team will cover mine and Harry's weekends and if I lose we shall cover yours.”
“You can throw our weekends in to the deal as well Hermione, no offence Harry but we're not letting those arrogant males otherwise known as Sirius and Remus win either.” Declared Imogen and Aurora passionately.
Sirius and Remus chuckled “Take the bet Severus, it's going to be a walk in the park.”
The rest of the witches and wizards gathered round their team captains each cheering and booing the opposite team.
“Well Severus are you in? Or are you afraid of being beaten by a little Gryfindor girl?” Hermione taunted.
Severus locked his black eyes with hers and smirked “Bring it girly.”
Hermione rolled her eyes at him before bellowing at her team mates “Okay Red team it's time to go, let's give our opponents time and space to consider their imminent defeat.” She marched the red team off in direction of the boat house, She high fived Harry before turning round and blowing Severus a cheeky kiss in mock salute.
Once safely in the boathouse Hermione took a small box from her pocket and after enlarging it she proceeded to take wrapped bundles out and hand them to the members of her team.
“Right I want you lot suited and booted in ten minutes.” She said stripping off her outer layers before slipping on a pair of army standard camouflage trousers and matching jacket over her black leggings and tight khaki coloured t-shirt.
“Cara, You know I don't normally question your fashion style, but just what are these god awful garments you're wanting us to put on?” Questioned Blaise holding up his pair of black army boots disdainfully between his finger and thumb.
“Blaise my darling, Manhunt is a muggle game and to win we shall dress like muggles, act like muggles and have muggle equipment. Minerva has placed an anti magic field over the playing field which will allow muggle technology to work better than it does normally. I want you to work in pairs because it's easier to be invisible if you're a smaller target.” Hermione answered as she bent down to fasten her laces.
Standing up she saw that everyone had followed her instructions and had dressed in their uniforms “Excellent, okay guys I need you to pair up and once you've done that I'm going to give each of you the names of people on the opposite team I want you to look out for and focus on according to your own strengths and weaknesses. Harry you're with me we'll be going after Severus and Draco.” Hermione walked along the short line looking at the pairs and making notes on her clipboard.
Fred gave her a salute and stood to attention “Permission to speak Ma'am?”
Hermione look up from her notes and smiled “Go ahead Private Weasley.”
“Will we have a way to communicate with each other? Normally I'd suggest our Weasley extendable ears mark three but the lack of magic renders them useless.” Fred said looking smug at his idea.
“I knew there was a reason I liked you Fred, you're a sneaky git but in answer to your question yes I'm going to fit you with a two way ear piece that will allow you to talk and respond to everybody else in the group, Harry hand them out please.” She took the small device and positioned it over her ear so that the tiny microphone stuck out just next to her mouth.
“Right listen up people I'm only going to say this once as we've only got about ten minutes left.” Hermione barked at them once they'd all mastered their ear pieces. “Aurora, Imogen your marks are Remus and Sirius and your code names are Foxylady and Starchild, do you copy that?”
“Ma'am, yes Ma'am” They said copying Fred' words from earlier.
“Fred, Blaise your marks are George and Ginny, code names are Thing One and Romeo, do you copy?”
“Ma'am, yes Ma'am” They shouted with matching grins.
“And last but not least Neville and Charlie your marks are Luna and Pansy, code names the Botanist and Dragontamer, do you copy?” she asked for a final time.
“Ma'am, yes Ma'am”
“And just so you know Harry's codename is Bolt and mine is Snakecharmer, I've assigned you these marks because Severus is a sneaky SOB and we have to be ready for anything, however if you're in position to take down somebody else's mark do it and let everybody else know.... Actually I've just had a thought Neville, Charlie I want you on flag duty at the base DO NOT let our flag get captured...ARE WE CLEAR?” she shouted.
“MA'AM, YES MA'AM!” Her troops chorused as one voice.
The red armbands began to glow before transporting them into a large wooded area that had a red flag tied to a three foot pole in small clearing.
“Okay starting with Foxylady and Starchild I want each team except Botanist and Dragontamer who are to remain here, to leave in different directions with a gap of five minute intervals....Remember keep radio silence unless absolutely necessary... Good luck and when we win the drinks are on me.”
Each team silently left in separate directions with Harry and Hermione heading in a northerly direction.
“Come H, when did you get all this organised?” Harry whispered as they crept through the undergrowth.
“When have I ever done something without extensively planning for it?” She whispered back.
“You went for a ride on Severus' one eyed snake without planning for it, although alcohol was the underlying factor in that decision.” He said slyly quickly dodging out of the range of Hermione's half hearted slap.
“Piss off you cheeky sod, besides there's a lot more riding on this than Hogsmeade duties.” Hermione grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him down to the floor, quickly shushing him with a finger to his lips.
Harry frowned, but Hermione just shook her head and mouthed the words “George and Ginny” pointing at a group of trees just to the east of them. Once Hermione had decided that the area was clear she stood up brushing some moist soil off her knees.
“Harry I need to know the layout of the land, can you shin up that tree while I get on the headset to the rest of the troops?” She asked helping him up.
“Will do...So are you going to tell me the rest of your devious plans?” Grunted Harry while climbing up the nearest large tree.
“Ssh! Harry, This is Snakecharmer with an all troop broadcast, it looks like the greens have split up into smaller factions as well, George and Ginny have just past my location and are heading towards the quidditch pitch, is there anyone in that location..Over.”
“Snakecharmer this is Thing one, we have them in our sights we're currently under a large bush they're heading our way...Over.”
“This is Snakecharmer to Thing One and Romeo do not reveal your position unless you're positive of the capture...Over”
“SnakeCharmer, this is FoxyLady, we're happy to report that the green team are now down two members...Over”
“Foxylady that is music to my ears, who did you capture?...Over” Hermione exchanged thumbs up signs with Harry.
“Snakecharmer, this is Starchild we took out Pansy and Luna the stupid nits were just wandering aimlessly talking rather loudly, I think it was too easy...Over”
“Shit!” Swore Hermione as she realised Severus's plan “Foxylady, Starchild get out of there now...Move it, it's a trap....Don't report in till your safe and whatever happens do not allow them the headsets...Over”
After a tense ten minutes Hermione breathed again as she heard Aurora's soft voice come through her earpiece.
“Snakecharmer this is Starchild, that was a close one, we've just had to leg it from Sirius and Remus, which involved us having to wade down some stream that Minerva's put in just so they'd lose the scent...over.”
“Good work Starchild, if you can I want you to cross back and forth at that stream a couple more times at different places just to confuse them even more...Over”
“Psst, I think we need to move, I saw movement in the trees to the east of us” Harry hissed hanging from his fingertips as the branch began to creak ominously.
“Okay Monkey boy jump down and we'll head in a north westerly direction towards the lake...This is Snakecharmer to everyone Bolt and I are going silent for a short while, keep me informed of any updates...over.”
Hermione and Harry slowly made their way silently through the thick bushes for almost half an hour before Hermione spoke “In the answer to your earlier question, the private stakes we're playing for is who gives who a strip tease to a song of the winners choice..” she paused and flashed Harry an evil smirk “I am not going to lose because I want to watch him take all his clothes off to Love Man by Otis Redding.”
Harry pretended to retch “You're a sick, sick bunny, you know that....In fact I think I may have to obliviate myself to get that image out of my head. I would ask who thought this bet up but on second thoughts I really don't want to know.” He chuckled.
“Snakecharmer this is Dragontamer speaking, thanks to Botanists amazing ability with plants we've managed to capture Remus and Sirius as they tried to get the flag.”
“Botanist here, apparently some of Hogwarts native plants recognised me from our school days and wanted to help, they're currently being held by a slightly less dangerous cousin of Devils Snare.” Neville laughed evilly “It won't kill them but it'll be a hug they won't forget in a hurry.”
“Botanist you're an effing Legend mate.” Fred contributed over the airway.
“Well done Botanist, a bottle of your favourite tipple will find it's way into your inbox...Thing one we're not deaf and I'd rather it stayed that way...Rightio folks we're on the home stretch now, I'd like everyone to head back to base keeping an eye out for Ginny and George...I don't know how Severus is communicating with his lot, but he's a sneaky bastard and we need to remember that...Over.”
Hermione and Harry sniggered as all of Severus's ex students said exactly the same thing “Understatement of the year that.”
“Oh and Botanist make sure none of your babies eat members of my team please, thank you.”
“Roger that Snakecharmer, on a personal note make sure you really torment Snape when we beat him and we'll call it even on the alcohol...Over.”
“Botanist this is Bolt, Don't you worry about Hermione riding Snape hard because it's one of her favourite past times, she gives him as good as she gets, giving him a good tongue lashing but on the other hand Snape does give her a mouthful back.” Teased Harry ignoring the 'You are dead meat' look coming from Hermione.
“Harry shut up and keep a look out.” Hermione told him firmly “Everybody, Bolt and I will be running on silent for a short while, keep me informed of all updates...Good luck guys and hopefully the next time we see each other we'll be victorious.”
“Very rousing speech that Hermione, up there with Churchill that one was.”
“Sod off Harry, you sarcastic git.” Hermione retorted, though her voice lacked any real animosity towards him.
Hermione and Harry crept steadily forwards circling around the castle close to the forbidden forest, stopping only when they heard a pair of familiar voices coming from the clearing just ahead of them, crouching down they crawled the last couple of yards silently so they could get a better view of what the layout was.
“Why are we just sat here, it's just so bloody boring.” Huffed Draco stretching his arms and flexing his muscles.
“Because Draco, I have no desire to go traipsing through that godforsaken hell hole which was probably dreamt up by Pomona while partaking in her special herbs, when I know full well that the prize I most desire shall ultimately come to me.” Severus replied taking a swig from a small silver hip flask before offering it to his Godson.
“Do I even want to know?...scratch that, I don't want to know EVER what you and Hermione do for kicks.” Draco said pulling a disgusted face “Although I thought it was rather interesting that Hermione ended up with two of her former lovers on her team and apparently they rate very high on her list.” A sly smirk appearing on Draco' face as Severus turned sharply to look at him.
“What list? And how many are on it.” He snapped.
Draco rolled his eyes “Oh please! Everyone has a list be it written down or in their heads on where people rate in bed...On my list unfortunately the bastard who won't be named is at the top, Harry's was some bloke he met during his travels, he doesn't talk about it much though, as for Hermione it's Charlie and Blaise...She didn't have them at the same time you idiot.” He added seeing Severus' face darken with a scowl quicker than Filch could stroke his pussy.
“And how do you know all this Mister Information?” Questioned the Potions master.
Draco laughed at the memory “For goodness sake Uncle it was a very drunken game of truth or dare after one of our T.M.O.M.D parties, there's a reason we only hold them twice a year and during the holidays that one you saw briefly at the manor was tame compared to what they're normally like...Three day hangovers usually even with potions.”
“So why had nobody even heard of them till recently?”
“Because they started out as underground parties, muggle raves almost and at the time everybody needed to feel young and alive again.” Draco stated simply shrugging his shoulders.
“Talking about parties Draco, I couldn't help but notice that you kept grabbing Harry's hands at the New Years eve party.”
“I have no idea what you're implying, but me and Harry are just mates.” Said a slightly pink faced Draco firmly.
“Dear, oh dear Draco when will you learn that you can lie to family, friends, strangers and have them believe every word that comes out of your mouth, you may even try to kid yourself that you believe those ridiculous words you've just spouted. But do me a favour and remember that you've got a snowballs chance in hell of pulling a fast one over me” Severus drawled.
“You promised you wouldn't use Legilmency on me.” Draco said accusingly.
Severus laughed his low baritone voice sending thrills up Hermione's spine “I don't need to spy into your head to know your feelings boy, there are times you look like a love sick puppy always running around after him, you'd do better to tell him how you feel instead of shacking up with deadbeats.”
“Think what you want to think Uncle but Harry and I are JUST mates, I'm going for a piss just beyond those trees, we will not be discussing this subject when I come back.”
Hermione motioned to Harry to sneak off after Draco, after checking to see where about the flag was in proximity to Severus and thanking her lucky stars after seeing that if she hung upside down off a thick overhanging branch she'd be able to reach it hopefully without alerting her man.
Creeping towards the tree Hermione slipped off her boots and her outer layers because she knew from past experience that she climbed trees best as unencumbered as possible, feeling her way like a cat. She shinned up the tree grateful for the thick wide branches, it wouldn't do her ego any good to have the branch break under her.
When she was sure she was over the large green flag, she sat with her back to it so that when she swung down backwards she'd be able to see it clearly. After checking that the branch was held firmly by her knees she let go and allowed gravity to help her swing towards her goal.
Her fingers were just in reach when she heard Draco telling Severus say that he'd been caught and that he was walking back up to the castle because he was dying for a cuppa.
“Idiotic imbecile can't even relieve himself without getting caught.” Grumbled Severus to himself.
Hermione grabbed the flag with a triumphant grin “You know Lover they say talking to yourself is a sign of madness.” She said still hanging upside down.
“Finally woman, I've been waiting for you for ages, Draco has a tendency to waffle for England although I did hear a rather interesting bit of information about you today.” He said taking the flag from her hands and jabbing it back in the ground.
“Oh...and what would that be?” She enquired while swinging her body just enough so that she could grab the branch and pull herself up.
“Nothing much really, just something about your little black book and the numbers you assign your lovers regarding their sexual prowess.” He watched nervously as she balanced precariously on the branch sitting with her back against the trunk “How is it you won't get on a broom? But you can quite happily clamber about that tree like a howler monkey.”
She smirked and patted the thick branch she was sat on “This beautiful thing is strong, dependable and firmly rooted in the ground I know that it's arms are more than able to hold my weight, therefore the only thing to make me tumble to the ground would be my own stupidity. A broom is a thin stick enchanted to fly hundreds of feet in the air and you say I'm mental.” She slid off the branch and landed in a neat crouch before him.
“How long do you think we have before they start looking for us?” She asked eyeing his tall lean form hungrily as he helped her up.
His eyes darkened “Just what did you have in mind? Bear in mind that your prize is for your eyes only and will not be done where the weather can seriously affect the outcome, even the most well endowed man can be put to shame by the cold.”
Hermione burst out laughing at his serious tone “Lighten up Severus, I'm talking about a little fun before going back to the castle.” Her voice dropped to a seductive purr “I want to confirm your boast that there's an anaconda and not a grass snake being held in place by these sinfully tight trousers.” Her fingers grazed over the prominent bulge before cupping it firmly.
“It certainly feels to be as large as you claim but just to make sure it needs to be checked visually.”
Severus bit his lip in pleasure as Hermione dropped to her knees in front of him, undoing the button on his pants and slowly pulled down the zipper before pushing his trousers down.
“Naughty, naughty Severus going commando, was there a problem with your laundry?” She teased.
“Well unfortunately I went to my drawers this morning and that all of my underwear had vanished, I just can't understand what could've happened to them.” He looked down and gave her a knowing look.
“How unfortunate but I'm not complaining, however it does look like there's been some chafing just here.” She pointed to the base of his penis “It definitely needs to be kissed better.” She lowered her head and placed the barest of kisses on the base. “Does it hurt anywhere else?”
Severus nodded “The tip seems to be in need of some assistance, and the shaft requires some hands on healing, but go slowly but firmly.” His voice was thick with desire.
Hermione gripped his cock just above the thick nest of black curls, her thumb and middle finger barely meeting, she followed his instruction to the letter slowly pumping up and down, her tongue swirled round the head alternating it with little nibbles and kisses.
Severus let out an incoherent moan as Hermione replaced her hands with her greedy mouth, she dug her nails into his firm arse knowing that it drove him wild, she sucked him harder and faster moaning in pleasure as his long fingers wrapped around her ponytail urging her on.
“That's it my delicious man come for me, I love being the one to make you lose control.” She told him in her head with a final grunt Severus came hard, his seed spurting in her mouth, she swallowed it whole savouring the unique taste that was wholly Severus. When he was fully spent Hermione released him from her mouth with a little pop, discretely wiping away the saliva that had accumulated on her chin she pulled his trousers up gently tucking him back in and carefully fastening his zip and button.
“I don't deserve you.” He murmured as he pulled her firmly against him in a tight hug.
“What utter rot you silly man.” She clasped his face gently and forced him to look at her “In case you hadn't noticed but I'm rather taken with you and don't you forget it.”
Severus captured her mouth in what was a sweet lingering kiss till Hermione had other ideas and decided to deepen it.
They were completely oblivious to the world around them till they heard a polite cough interrupting them, reluctantly breaking apart they looked to see Aurora and Imogen standing there looking extremely amused.
“Oh don't mind us we were waiting for the floor show.” They said snickering.
“I don't think I need to remind you of the unwritten staff code ladies, I mean we all have secrets that we wouldn't want the headmistress finding out till we're ready for it” Hermione replied with her arms still wrapped firmly around Severus not letting him move.
“We're only teasing girl, your sordid escapades are your business only.” Aurora hastened to say when she saw the challenging look in Hermione's eyes.
Before anything else could be said they saw Minerva's patronus pad silently into the clearing “With the capture of the green flag Hermione's team have won, all of the anti magic fields have been lifted if you would all like to make your way to the great hall lunch is served.” The cat flicked it's tail at the small group before bounding away.
Severus placed a brief kiss on the top of Hermione's head, whispering in her ear that he'd see her later and quickly disapparated away leaving the three women alone.
They walked in companionable silence up to the castle until Imogen asked the question that she'd been dying to ask for ages.
“So is it sordid Hermione?”
Hermione frowned not understanding the question.
“You know, your business with Bats.” Imogen clarified waggling her eyebrows.
The trio paused before the doors of the great hall.
“Oh hell yeah! The man is phenomenal in the sack and before you ask, yes the answer the rumours are true...There is a basilisk lose in the castle.
“Well at least that clears up the mystery behind today's codename then” Aurora commented dryly.
All three witches cackled loudly with laughter as they pushed open the heavy doors, tears were pouring down their faces only stopping when they realised everyone was staring at them.
“Sssorry private jokess” Imogen said hissing on the letter s, which made the three witches burst out laughing again clutching each other for support.
“Well when you've quite finished if you could take your seats we're waiting for you so we can start lunch.” Chastised Minerva.
“Sorry Minerva.” They mumbled quickly sitting in the three remaining seats, not looking at each other until they saw big piles of sausages appear on the tables and started sniggering again.
A/N: I haven't forgotten about their little side bet it will be addressed in the next chapter, Draco' a stubborn little bugger isn't he? He just won't admit his feelings even to his God father, I may have to let Harry take matters into his own hands.
Quick question, hands up all those who'd like to see Severus dress like a cowboy in the next chapter? I'm talking the works, Severus looking like a bad guy from a western movie.
Hope you enjoy the chapter.
Much Love
Her Royal Goddess Xx
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