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The Joke Book Trap	By : TalisRuadair Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 10791 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Series (1997-2007) and any characters and original locations within the books belong to JK Rowling. I am not making any money from this fiction. Pride and Prejudice belongs to Jane Austen.

Chapter List
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Chapter Twenty – Epilogue

George watched as the image shimmered as the story reached completion. A bright white light erupted from the book and two bodies were spit out. Hermione was appeared in her wedding dress and unfortunately for Draco, his kilt became a little twisted exposing his family jewels to anyone looking. Until the frazzled witch noticed and quickly restored her husband’s modesty, in which case didn’t go unnoticed by the albino ferret. The twin chuckled as he noticed the pink twinge on the proud Malfoy’s face. He’d been arguing with Fred over the creation of a Wuthering Heights version of the book when he felt a strong slap across the back of his head. He turned toward the irate witch keeping his hand firmly on his pocketed wand.

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot, “What the hell were you thinking George? I cannot believe that you sent my knew husband into a book where he had face both his dead aunt, who tortured him as much as she tortured me, but forced him to take on the beastly appearance of his tormentor. Do you know what becoming such a monster can do to his already fragile psyche?”

The blonde hissed, “Stop talking like I’m not here. You’re making me sound weak.”

“I am stating the facts. I really don’t know what it is about you boys and hiding your suffering. How the hell are you supposed to heal, when all you bottle your feelings?” She turned away from her ever reddening husband and back toward the prankster, “Are you going to answer me?”

He ignored the humorous antidotes Fred was streaming in his mind before shrugging, “I have to admit is that all I did was create the book. You know as well as anyone else that none of the cast is already chosen prior to one entering the world. Draco faced his dead aunt and was cursed by his mother because his subconscious casted those roles that way. It’s also the same reason why he had to live in that snake’s skin.” He went back to his argument with Fred about the validity of Wuthering Heights, when he slipped and spoke aloud, “I really don’t see why Wuthering Heights wouldn’t be a good choice for our future prototypes.”

Fred’s voice boomed in his mind. That’s only because you’ve yet to read that particular novel. Remember we split the Muggle literature between the two of us and I was the one that got that book. If you read the damn thing then you’d know why no one would want to enter that story.

Hermione rolled her eyes, “It’s apparent that you’ve never read that book, George. No one in their right mind would want to enter a tragic love story where the female lead, Catherine, end up dying during childbirth and the male lead, Heathcliff, ends up shooting himself. Plus, that story is just too hard to follow because it starts in the future and goes back and tells the actual story. Who the heck would want to wade through all the confusing parts with the visitor trying to figure out the relations between the people residing in the house? Yes Catherine’s daughter married her cousin who happens to be the son of Heathcliff that he had with Catherine’s husband’s sister. Not to mention that the other male she didn’t marry is actually her cousin because he is the son of Catherine’s brother. Frankly anyone would be better of waiting for the Masterpiece classic series to come out.” She tapped her chin, “Then again pureblood families could understand the whole marrying your cousin thing.”

“Then what’s with all of those females talking about how romantic it is to have Catherine running around the moors calling out her lover’s name?”

She huffed, “Look, I know for a bloody fact that you’re not as daft as Ron. Unless you plan on using the book as a form of torture like you did with this Beauty and the Beast copy,” She lifted the deactivated book, “then I strong advise against creating such a book unless you plan on testing it on yourself. However, I would strongly suggest reading the sodding thing before you enter that bloody world.”

A chuckle broke out from behind them before Theo’s silky voice carried, “She’s right about Weathering Heights, well to a point. I love the book, but even I wouldn’t be stupid enough to want to visit it in one of your joke book traps.”

George ignored Theo’s comment as he focused on Hermione. A smile spread across his face as his eyes wiggled, “So, how did you enjoy your honeymoon?”

Draco paled, “If you ever send me into one of those things again, I will not hesitate to kill you. I think it’s time I retired to bed and hope that my wife will be able to sooth my nerves.”

“Wow, you really do sound like pampered little prat.” George quipped watching for the man’s response.

The groom’s whole body tensed, his hands drawn into tight firsts, as he clinched his teeth and growled, “You sent me into that bleeding book, which induced flashbacks and you have the idiocy to call me pampered. Sure you lost your ear in the war, but I have seen far worse than you could possibly imagine. I don’t think you understand the full implications of the type of trauma it takes to create night terrors, however I do. Now get out of my face before I hex you and miss my twins birth because I’m in a holding cell in Azkaban.”

He’s right you know George. You watched what he went through in that book, and though I know you didn’t intend for it to be anything more than amusing, it still caused him pain. You should probably apologize. Fred’s voice boomed in his mind causing him to mutter under his breath, “Apparently death has given you a conscious.” He looked into those thundercloud gray eyes, “Look Draco, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to get so far out of hand. I understand that my joke went too far and perhaps it wasn’t the best story choice for you. I really had no way of knowing your mind would create a Voldemort look alike when creating the beast.”

The Malfoy heir shot up from his bed when he heard a painful yell from his pregnant wife. He looked over and noticed the sweat dripping from her forehead. Her eyes were glazed over in pain as she let out another whimpering moan. He jumped to his feet and quickly grabbed the already packed and shrunken bags. He sent his recently perfected Patronus to his parents with a message to meet them at St. Mungo’s. He quickly cast a feather weight charm on his wife before lifting her into his arms and apparating them to the lobby of the wizard hospital. His cool demeanor slipped for a moment as he spoke to the front desk assistant and the panic was heard in his voice, “My wife needs a healer now! The twins are coming and I know that there can be complications with birthing twins. I don’t want to lose them; I can’t lose any of them.”

He pulled his wand when he didn’t think the witch behind the desk was moving fast enough. He was seeing red in his panic and frustration of not being to do anything for his wife and children. He knew the world saw him as much of a monster as he saw when he was in the Beauty and the Beast Novel. However, it was only a little after midnight on September 1^st and the twin’s due date wasn’t until the 30^th. His babies were coming early and he feared it was because something had gone wrong. His wrist shook as he continued to cradle his wife. He did something that no Malfoy should ever do he begged, “Please get my wife a healer. She’s the war heroin Hermione Granger. That should mean something, right? I know that I’m just an ex-death eater, but surely she deserves everything Wizarding Britain can offer.”

He was saved from making any more of a fool of himself when his parents appeared behind him. His mother squeezed his shoulder as his father intimidated the woman into action. Just a few words spoken from him got a healer at their side and they were in one of the delivery rooms right away. Lucius waited outside of the room while Narcissa popped over to pick up the Grangers. Upon returning she soon joined her son in the room along with Jean. A team of healers and nurses surrounded the brightest witch of their age, while Draco stood frozen against the wall feeling helpless.

He felt dread bubble up into full out panic. His mind played the worst possible scenarios in his mind. Hermione died from blood loss and both of the twins were dead on arrival. None of the visions had a happy connotation and he swore that something was going to go wrong. His facsimile of a happy life was just about to shatter. He knew that something had gone wrong and the curse remained unbroken. He was so used to feeling miserable that when something was going right he was busy looking around the corner for the next bad thing that was surely to come. He was a Malfoy and that meant he wasn’t supposed to ever achieve happiness. One of the nurse’s must have noticed the panic because he thrust a vile of calming draught in his hand and demanded he drink it. His heartbeat was too loud for him to hear everything she said but he gulped it down quickly. He sighed when the panic finally subsided and he was able to approach his wife and unborn children.

Time seemed to stop and speed up at the same exact time. He couldn’t even comprehend how it was possible for both to occur simultaneously. Soon tears were filling his eyes as he held his first born son. The little wizard was just perfect in every conceivable way, from his small button nose to his pouty lips. He only had a light dusting of blond hair on his head. He smiled and looked over at Hermione, “This was is most definitely our little Scorpius Hyperion.”

His wife looked up from the little bundle in her arms, “I agree because I’m definitely holding little Phoenix Aléxandros.”

Draco sat down on the bed next to her and looked over at the little boy in her arms that had an almost identical face to his brother except for his coloring. His complexion was a bit darker and his hair was jet black in shade. “Part of me wonder’s how twins can be so different in appearance.”

Peals of laughter burst from the angle in the hospital bed, “Muggles have an explanation for that, as two different types of twins exist. In the Wizarding world identical twins seems to be far more common, as the egg splits in the development process. I still don’t understand why that occurs except through influence in a magical nature. Our lovely twins are fraternal, meaning that I dropped two eggs and they were both fertilized. In other words they each have their own unique DNA. I really think it’s because of the fertility and lusts spell we were under at the time of conception. Think about it, if one is trying to insure that a child is conceived and carried to term, wouldn’t it be better to have more than one attempt? I’ll have to speak with Brutus’ painting to find a starting point on researching the components of those spells.”

“So what you’re saying is that Scorp took after me in coloring and Nix took after you?” He looked back down at the angle in his arms who continued to sleep. He still couldn’t believe that he was blessed with two perfect beings that he could love and cherish. He would make sure that they never saw the horrors that he was forced to see during the Second Wizarding War. He would raise them in the warmth of the light and as far away from the darkness as possible. If they weren’t also the Hermione’s sons, then he may worry about their future.

The family approached managed to run through the barrier of 9 ¾ and appeared on the other side where the red Hogwarts engine awaited. The woman placed her hand on her slightly protruding tummy as they prepared to say goodbye to their sons. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as the full impact of the situation washed over her. She pulled them both into a tight hug, “Now remember to keep up on your studies and that we’ll love you no matter which house you’re sorted into. Please don’t forget to owl us right away to let us know where you’ve ended up. I’ll make sure to keep you informed about the twins.”

Scorpius rolled his gray eyes, “Yes mum!” He quickly pulled away when he spotted Rose with her fathers.

Phoenix continued to hug her as she watched the interaction between her other son and Ron and Blaise’s adoptive daughter. She couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of such an allegiance between the two families. Phoenix whispered, “What if I’m sorted into Hufflepuff?”

She chuckled, “Then that house would be delighted to have you. You’re cousin Dora was a Hufflepuff and she was one of the most valued members of the Order of the Phoenix. Though I believe you’re more likely to be sorted into either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor based upon your intelligence and courage. Do not worry though. It doesn’t matter what house you end up in, as you will easily make friends no matter what. You’re a very caring, bright, and handsome person, so you will be placed where you will thrive best.”

His golden eyes sparkled, “Thanks mum. I should probably go keep an eye on Scorp before he gets himself hexed by Ron or Blaise for hitting on Rose.”

She smiled as she watched the little group joined by Victoire Weasley and Teddy Lupin before the five of them boarded the train together. Her husband wrapped his arm around her waist as they watched the train pull away. She smiled and turned toward her friends. Ron and Blaise were quickly joined by Harry and Ginny Potter and their three children. James (9) was busy wining about not being old enough to go yet, Albus (6) had the look of deep thought in his distinctive green eyes, and Lilly(3) was happy in her father’s arms.

Ginny chuckled, “So, are you really ready to start the process all over again Hermione?”

The brunette nodded her head, “Absolutely. The house will be too quiet now that our boys are off to Hogwarts. We really are looking forward to having young children in the manor again. Plus Cissy and Luke are excited about having more grandchildren. They can’t wait until the babies come.” She rolled her eyes, “I’ve continued to research the fertility spells I’m still under, but have yet to find anything other than contraceptive potions that will prevent me from having twins. The spell seems to be permanent and causes two eggs to drop every cycle. So, I’d say after these two are born we’re done.”

“I guess your traded one curse for another. Though I believe every child is a gift to be cherished. I do agree that having two at a time would put a damper on the amount of times one’s willing to try. I couldn’t imagine having duplicates and having six of these wee ones.” Harry rubbed his hand through James’ already messy brown hair.

Ron cleared his throat, “I guess me and Blaise have a bit of an announcement as well. You know how the ministry has been working on a potion or finding some sort of way to allow same sex couples to have a biological heir?” The group nodded. He coughed, “Well, they found a potion and we’re testing it out and well-”

“I’m pregnant!”

Everyone’s eyes popped over the Italian. Hermione raised an eyebrow, “Does Rose know?”

The two nodded and Ron smiled, “I’m sure she’s sharing the news with Scorp as we speak.”

Harry sighed, “No matter how long I live in the Wizarding World magic does something that leaves me in complete awe. To think that wizards have found a way to have a male carry a child. I’m so happy for you two and I look forward to meeting your new child.”

“When a Weasley is involved, I’ve learned to expect the unexpected. I’m sure that George had something to do with the development. To think that my life would’ve been completely different if he hadn’t sent out those joke books that Christmas. My ancestors are Slytherin and took the first opportunity to break the curse. I’m just happy that I’m the one to reap the rewards.”

The pregnant witch shook her head, “I don’t know honey. I like to think myself quite lucky as well.”

Blaise rolled his eyes, “How about the two of you go get a room. Public is not the place for the two of to gush such romantic nonsense.”

A/N: Okay so there’s the end of that fiction. I have to admit that I really wasn’t sure how I’d end this fiction but I’m happy to be done with it. I really do think this is a good way to end this story. I have a couple of ideas companion pieces. I will eventually post one that explains what’s happening with Harry, Ron, and Ginny while Hermione and Draco are in Pride and Prejudice. The other one would explain exactly what they went through on their honeymoon. I have too many ideas right now and very little time to devote to them, so I do not know when I will be able to concentrate on those companion pieces.
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The Joke Book Trap