Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Envy and Manipulations	By : rrabbit Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Ginny Views: 8376 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters from it.... therefore I do not receive any payment for this writing.

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
He's crying.

I can hear it ringing in my ears and I just can't stand it. It makes me feel so sad, so hollow, so upset... I pull myself from the bed and quickly wrap myself in a silk robe to ward off the night time chill. I run down the maze of corridors as the cries get louder, echoing off the walls and making the windows shake.

I don't know much... but I know that I must get to him soon.

I must make it so he's not crying anymore.

It hurts my heart to hear him cry.

I find him in a dimly lit nursery that has wooded landscapes painted on the walls. The trees twist and turn like they're alive and dancing to music only they can hear. I ignore them and walk towards the gently swaying cradle, smiling down at his tears...Finding myself relieved to see him after all my night of searching.

"Don't cry," I whisper when I finally pick him up.

I brush my lips over his head and carry him to the rocking chair that's covered with a patchwork quilt. It's right in front of a large bay window where I can see the ocean outside moving in the moonlight. The waves are crashing against the shore, dancing to the same music as the trees on the walls.

The baby makes a noise and I glance down.

He's so perfect.

I press my nose to his hair and inhale... the smell of him almost intoxicating, filling me with a warm feeling I had never known before. It makes me smile. I open the robe to pull down the strap of my night gown, watching his face illuminated in the pale light as he eats from my breast. The way his cheek curves, the slant of his eyes... the perfect bow of his lips...

He looks like his father.

I bring his small hand up to my lips and press kisses to his palm.

I love him more than I thought I could ever love anyone.

I feel like my whole life was just waiting for this moment... for him...to be his mother... to love him... and everything that came before and everything that will come after is just filler.

Unimportant filler.

He stops crying when he eats and I smile again as I hum a little song, running my hand over his soft hair while I hold him close. My voice keeps him calm and soothes his fears just as his face soothes mine. I close my eyes after a few moments and stop humming as I let the peacefulness of the scene settle over us.

Us.

That's what we are now.

An us.

Two half people who made a whole and my heart will belong to him always. No matter how much time or pain will pass, that is one truth I will always know.

I know.

The sound of the ocean hums through the quiet room. The water reaches toward land and then pulls back... reaches out and then pulls back...reaches out...

I hear an odd tinkling noise.

It breaks the silence and I look over my shoulder into the dark vastness of the room.

The mobile above the cradle is moving in a slow creep and a bell like melody is playing... It kind of sounds like a wind chime on a breezy day.

I frown and stand up with the baby against my chest to investigate.

It stops moving after I flip the switch on the side and I stare at the mobile with a worried frown. Something doesn't seem right... It looks like men are hanging from the strings that dangle down... like they were being strangled by a noose... but that can't be right.

That can't be right at all...

I squint my eyes in the dark as the baby whines against my breast. Of course, now that I see them in focus, I realize I'm wrong. They're just sea creatures... innocent enough... a friendly octopus, a beautiful mermaid, a joyful rainbow fish...

"Sorry, sweetheart," I whisper to the grumpy baby as I walk back to the rocking chair, trying to shake the nonsense out of my head.

Silly me.

I look back at the ocean, the waves crashing against the beach as the stars shine above the water. I start humming again and we fall back into a peaceful rhythm, just like the ocean outside. His little heart beating four beats for each one of mine. It's a story written long before either of us were here and will continue long after we're dead.

Dead.

The lights flicker and I look up to the brass chandelier that hangs down from the ceiling. One candle is burning brightly, revealing a blood red ceiling made of shining cut glass. I frown when it goes out, the smoke curling into the midnight air and making the room smell like fire.

Fire.

Once back in the darkness, I turn to the window and I feel a very uneasy chill crawl up my spine when I realize the water outside has stopped moving.

It's completely still, like a muggle painting instead of a live scene before us and the silence is deafening with no wind or waves to break it. I feel my heart starting to speed up and I lick my lips nervously as my eyes jump around the room, trying to find out what's happening...

There's a loud bang that shakes the walls and I jump when the baby starts screaming.

"Shhh..." I whisper. I pull him close, placing kisses on his head as I try to ease his fear. "It's alright."

Right?

The lights flicker on, blinding us, before quickly going out again. This time it takes the moon and the stars with it... leaving us in pitch black darkness. There's nothing now... no moon, no stars, no light of any kind...I can't see a thing and I feel myself starting to shake when the temperature in the room drops below freezing.

I try not to panic as I hold the baby closer.

He's crying, of course. Crying and crying and crying and I cradle him to my chest, trying to soothe him with words of love and reassurance. Words that make me brave because I have to be when I'm with him.

"It will be okay," I lie to him because I truly don't know. "Everything will be fine."

I'm a horrid liar.

I press my lips to his hair and keep repeating those words over and over again until I almost believe them. The darkness is all consuming and frightening but it's the silence that's truly eerie. It's like we're in a cave of some sort and every movement... every breath... is amplified and echoing off the walls to feed the beast that rests below.

The beast that is waiting to swallow us hole at any given moment.

We sit in the dark for days it feels like. Days and hours and months and years... until the lights come back on without warning.

Every single candle in that chandelier is lit, burning brighter than any sun. It's hurts my eyes and I have to blink a few times for the world to come back into focus...

When it does, my heart drops and stops beating altogether.

I'm no longer facing a large window with a beautiful sea side view. Instead, I'm staring directly at a black stone wall that's weathered with age and there's some kind of black liquid oozing from the cracks. I stand up quickly and place a protective hand on the baby's small head as I try to figure out what magic is making this happen.

You must have been a beautiful baby...

I snap my head over my shoulder when I hear that familiar song as the baby's cries shake the walls. The mobile above the cradle is turning again. Spinning, spinning, spinning at a hyper speed... making all the little sea creatures go flying from the ends. The trees on the wall are twisted and dark and the horizon line behind them is shining with a blood red sun.

Blood.

I blink a few times... I must be going mad.

You must have been a wonderful child...

"Ouch," I hiss and look down at the baby.

I think he just bit me.

When you were only starting, to go to kindergarten...

I wince in pain at the feeling as the music plays loudly.

I bet you drove the little boys wild...

wild...

wild...

wild...

wild...

wild...

wild...

wild.. .

The mobile song starts skipping, replaying the same word over and over again before turning the opposite way with a mechanical clink and clank of it's gears. A whole different song starts playing and I'm frozen into inaction by my fear.

It's big band music from an older time that shakes the walls in a bass lead rumpus.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing...

I remember Tom playing that song. I remember him saying it was playing the first time he tortured a muggle. I remember it playing in club house five where I had witnessed so many horrors. My feet feel cold and wet, so I look down. That black liquid that was seeping from the wall is flooding the room... I fear I may drown in it.

I can't swim.

It don't mean a thing, all you have to do is sing...

It keeps going, it keeps playing, and I back up until I hit the wall. The music is too loud... the light is too bright... my heart is beating too fast...

"Ow!" I yelp again when I feel another bite against my breast.

When I look down, all I see is blood... blood as red as a rose that coats my nightgown and robe. The baby I had loved is gone, replaced by fangs and red eyes swaddled in a blood soaked blanket. When he hisses, I really do drop him, and I cover my mouth when I see a snake slither from the depths of the black water pooling at my feet.

The black snake grows and gets bigger as the music gets louder. I crumble against the wall, unable to take my eyes off of the beast as it pulses with the music. The snake waves it's body in front of my face and I clench my eyes shut when it snaps forward to finish me off.

It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing...

I scream and sit up straight right before the fangs can bury into my face. When I find myself within the four walls of a familiar bedroom, I exhale loudly in relief.

"Another nightmare?" I hear Draco ask as I wipe the sweat from my brow.

I almost feel like crying, but I don't dare.

I'm done with tears.

I nod my head as he rubs my back and I squint when he turns on the light. I've had nightmares just about every night since the battle at Shell cottage. They're vivid and not going away.

"Here, babe," he whispers, pressing a glass of water to my arm.

I take it and swallow a large gulp after trying to catch my breath. The water feels good against my throat. I didn't realize how sore it was... I must have been screaming and I feel guilty for waking Draco that way... again...

"Thank you," I whisper as I put the glass on the side table, my heart still beating so fast I may have a heart attack.

I can feel him staring at me, so I cough.

"Bad?" he asks and I nod my head, a short and sharp nod as I try not to remember.

"Did you dream about anything?" I ask after a long pause to take the heat off of me.

I give him a little smile when he doesn't answer right away to make him comfortable, trying to shake off the tremor of that terrible nightmare.

"No," he says seriously and I nod again as he dances his fingers up my bare arm.

Of course. Draco never has things that haunt his dreams. He has no regrets and I doubt he truly fears anything.

Not like me. I'm afraid every second of every day of everything and every one.

Time has made me pathetic when it's made everyone around me brave.

I would be more angry about it than I am if I wasn't so afraid to tempt fate for the millionth time. I know that I should be dead by now... but I'm still here, still living, and still having nightmares that make me want to cry.

Time does not heal all wounds. I know that for sure.

Draco wraps his hand around my upper arm and squeezes gently as he watches my profile. I glance at him and smile as he leans over to kiss my shoulder.

"Lay down," Draco orders as he runs his fingers up my spine.

I hesitate a moment before nodding my head and laying against the pillow. Draco pulls me to him quickly and buries his nose in my hair, adding a kiss to my temple as he wraps his arms around me. I think he likes holding me... I wonder if it makes him feel strong.

"What did you dream about?" he asks as he rubs my arm.

I shrug.

There's no reason talking about it.

It's the same every night... the same dream where I see a baby as a demon snake with Tom's presence looming over me. How can I explain that to him without sounding mad? How can I tell him without hurting his feelings?

I can't. So I don't.

A silence falls between us and I feel him kiss the top of his head before reaching his arm over to click off the light.

"Let's go back to sleep," he says seriously, his voice sounding deep and sleepy. "I have to get up soon."

I nod and let him hold me a little tighter.

He has more posts to hold and missions to go on.

Just because the Dark Lord was dead, didn't mean the war was over. Wars are not won in a day and I'm realizing now how true that is. I always thought that once Tom Riddle was finally killed, the world would be righted and the sun would come out over our kind... .with birds singing and bells ringing... all that rot.

I was wrong.

It doesn't help that no one is sure how he died. Once the smoke cleared, he was found a few feet away from me, his throat cut with black blood oozing from the wound... black blood... like the black water coming from the cracks in the wall...coming to drown me in it's darkness.

I shake the thought away quickly. It does me no good to dwell on the things I see when I close my eyes. I need to focus on what's real... what's tangible..The things that I know to be true.

I turn my face and kiss Draco's chest.

He's real.

I know that for sure.

I don't remember anything from the battle, of course. I blacked out and no matter how deeply they try to pry into my mind, nothing will come to the surface. Even though people said they saw me walking around, holding a long black wand...The Dark Lord's wand... They saw me using magic during the fight, flinging curses that cracked through the air like fire bolts.

They remember things I don't even recall doing.

Like killing Death Eaters with simple curses aimed right at their chests.

I don't remember that at all.

A part of me is glad, but another part knows that I must be crazy.

I roll on my back when Draco starts to shift. Eventually he falls back to sleep and I pull myself out of the bed. There's no going back after that nightmare and I walk over to the chair by the window and take a seat.

The hotel is one of the tallest buildings in the area and I can see the roofs of shops and homes nearby as the dawn breaks along the horizon... everything is a pale gray that makes me feel even more depressed than I already am.

My life feels like one big blob of gray area and the indifference I'm starting to feel towards it really scares me sometimes.

As I think about my life, everything from my childhood to now, I start scratching my thighs. I didn't wear pants to bed. Just one of Draco's well worn t-shirts and a pair of cotton knickers, so they're easily accessible to me.

I use my fingernails to scratch words into my skin.

Spells and curses and promises.

My mind starts thinking darker thoughts. I start thinking of the dead...

Charlie...

Fred...

Percy...

Neville...

Remus...

Tonks...

Sirius...

Dumbledore...

McGonagall...

Sprout...

Slughorn...

Arbarax Malfoy...

Seamus Finnagin...

Dean Thomas...

Mad Eye Moody...

Lucius Malfoy...

Millicent Bulstrode...

Henry... faithful, perfect... Henry..

There are more... too many to count and I start clawing at my thighs as I think of them... Their faces floating in front of my mind, glaring down like they just couldn't believe that I had survived when so many good people had died.

I didn't deserve to live over any of them... I know that... and it makes me feel like hell.

Draco shifts on the bed again, so I glance his way. He's up and he's looking right at me.

"What are you doing?" he asks as he pulls himself to sit at the side of the bed with his feet flat against the floor. "You know I can't sleep when you're awake."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, not wanting to bother him anymore.

"Why are you up?"

I shrug and turn back to the window, running my fingers so hard against my thigh that I nearly break skin. I can hear him walk towards me, but I ignore it as I go back to my thoughts. As depressing and dark as they are. I scratch again and nearly wince when I glance down at the damage. It looks like I've been fighting with a very angry kitten.

"Stop that," Draco says sharply when he gets to me and he puts his hands on top of mine. "I don't want you to hurt yourself any more."

He's caught me doing this every morning and I know he's fed up.

I don't blame him.

"It doesn't hurt," I tell him because it's true. My memories hurt me far worse than any force I could inflict on myself.

He pulls the other chair up to mine until my knees are in between his legs.

"I can see the scratches," he says as he looks down at my legs, tracing one of the really red ones with his finger tip. "No more," he says seriously.

I don't respond. I just stare at him and he narrows his eyes before bending down and gently kissing the scratches. He wraps his hands under my knees and I put my hand on the back of his head, threading my fingers through his hair as he runs his lips over the tops of my thighs.

"Your skin is too beautiful for this," he says gently before pulling back and looking into my eyes with the light gray color of morning highlighting the sharp points on his face. "I wish I could make it so you weren't so depressed."

"I'm not depressed," I lie to make him feel better.

He gives me a little smile before pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Come to bed," he says as he stands and pulls me with him.

I follow him, like always, and we climb back into bed, taking our usual spots with him on the right by the door and me to the left by the window. I lay against him and stare at the wall as I rest my head on his shoulder.

I like listening to him breathe.

I put my hand on his chest until it's resting over his heart.

I like feeling that too.

He kisses the top of my head again and he falls back to sleep with little trouble.

He's tired... exhausted from his fights in the ministry and on the battle field. Losing his father had tossed up his plans and he's been working overtime to find a better solution. Lucius Malfoy's death was something he did not foresee, but he keeps going... he keeps doing what he wants for the end goal that will please him.

I pop my head up to stare at his profile.

I like the way he looks and I smile a little to myself as I greedily let my eyes trace the hills and valleys of his handsome face.

I can't resist touching him, so I bring my hand up and run my fingers over his nose and brow.

I envy Draco. He's done a lot of bad things... horrible things... but he's so solid with himself. He knows where he wants to go and what he wants to do... He knows exactly who he wants to be and who he is now...

I have no idea who I am anymore.

At the start of all of this, I was a Weasley, part of a large loving family who liked writing. That was about it. Now I've changed... I've evolved and was forced to move so far away from that... I don't even know who that is anymore. I don't know who I am or what I want to be in the future. I just know that I don't like where I've been or where I am now.

I wonder sometimes if I'll ever be happy again.

I think I could be happy with Draco. Just him and I forever in this room with nothing else but each other for the rest of our lives.

It seems better that way.

I like to think he's the best version of himself when he's with me and I'm... I... I just like being around him.

I try to go back to sleep... And I only seem to get a few minutes in before Draco's alarm goes off.

He gets up and I watch him with heavy lidded eyes as he disappears into the bathroom.

Richard Yaxley has taken up where his Lord had left off and whatever Death Eaters are still alive are following him tooth and nail to the bitter end. And it is the end. Voldemort's regime is all but destroyed but Yaxley has been able to hold Hogwarts as a fortress. Using little groups of his military to cause problems for those who are trying to build up our world again.

People like Draco and my family and the ever hopeful Harry Potter.

I listen to Draco take a shower as I push myself into the sitting position. I use the backboard to support myself as I grab the remote to turn on the television.

It's been decided that the safest place for me is in a muggle hotel, in a muggle town... with muggle technology.

I turn down the volume because I know Draco hates it and I pull the covers up as I watch a talk show... where a group of women gossip loudly about famous people... totally oblivious to the evil that had been coming for them in the form of Voldemort and his army.

When Draco's finished, he comes out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips and his hair disheveled. He looks really good and I send him a sly look as I follow the trail of hair on his stomach that leads down to...He makes a noise and my eyes snap to his, a blush staining my cheeks.

He sends one look to the t.v. before scowling, not having noticed how I just shamelessly ogled him.

"You're watching that fucking thing again," he says as he walks towards the... phone. I'm still learning the names of most things. My father has always loved muggle technology but I'm finding he was wrong about most of their uses.

He orders room service and then climbs into bed, leaving the towel on the ground as he shifts under the covers.

"Why do you keep watching this?" he asks as he grabs the remote to turn it off. "I can't stand that noise."

"I don't know," I admit as he rests against me, laying on his side with his body propped up by his elbow. I smile at his messy hair before leaning down to kiss him.

"You look really pretty today," he says after I pull back. I snort and then look towards the window.

The sun is just starting to shine along the horizon and the sky looks almost pink.

"I look like this every day," I tell him seriously.

"Well, then you must be pretty everyday."

"You are layering it on very thick," I tell him with a little smile as he reaches out to put his hand on my stomach.

He probably wants to have sex.

Draco always wants to have sex.

Sometimes I think he'll explode if he doesn't get it when he wants it and I oblige him every time because... because I want him just as much. It's easy enough to blame it on his libido because he's a man, but mine is just as needy if I was being completely honest with myself.

Everything about him turns me on. Especially now when everything is so sensitive. Now I find even his cruelty can get me hot and I would let that thought concern me if I could... but I can't... so every firm word, sharp look, painful grab, and smug smirk gets my knickers wet.

Sometimes when it happens, I realize that I am irreversibly broke.

Sometimes I care.

Most of the time I don't.

I can just be grateful that I fell for a Malfoy instead of a great guy like Harry Potter. Harry wouldn't understand me the way Draco does... Harry would treat me like a porcelain doll that could be broken with every turn. He would be so nice to me... too nice to me.. Maybe a part of me needs that, but it's not what I want.

I want Draco.

That's not saying Draco isn't nice to me. He is. He's perfect. In fact, he treats me better than anyone ever has... but he'll still snap at me if he thinks I'm being annoying and he can be stubborn when it comes to something he wants.

And he wants a lot of things.

One of them being me.

He's like Tom. I'm not blind to that, but his pro's far out weigh those cons. From when I was a young girl I think I was conditioned to want a man like him.

As messed up as that is, I think I finally see the situation clearly.

I watch his long fingers as he taps them against my sleep shirt, running up and down the roundness of my belly.

"Has he kicked?" he asks, for the millionth time this month and I shake my head.

Draco is fond of the baby.

I should feel lucky, the healer had told me, the baby that was growing inside of me was so strong.

I started crying and he thought they were tears of joy. To be honest, I had no idea what I was feeling at the time. The Dark Lord was dead, that was cause for celebration, but I still felt like there was a weight on my chest... some large boulder that refused to move.

The healer told me that there was a strong wizard forming in my womb like it would put me at ease. No one acted surprised when they found out I was pregnant. I guess I was the only one who didn't... couldn't... see it. No one seemed surprised when Draco said it was his either.

People just kept on hugging me and telling me things would be alright. I doubted it, but didn't say anything. Draco said that he didn't even want to have a paternity test after I told him what the Dark Lord said to me in the forest... he said that it didn't matter and I was too far along to do anything about it anyways.

When I questioned him about that further, not trusting him, he told me that I belonged to him... which meant that the child inside of me belonged to him as well. That was his reasoning and then he told me to shut up about it... in true Draco form. Saying something so sweet only to turn around and ruin it with a harsh demand.

I can't help but love him, though.

"How are you feeling?" he asks with his brows up as he leans down to press his lips to my stomach.

I put my hand in his hair, running my fingers through the wet strands. I think that he's convinced the baby's his... but I don't know... He keeps saying that the Dark Lord was not a true man and that it would be hard for him to conceive without a lot of magic and potions... Potions... it makes me think of the potion I took every morning at Riddle Manor.

I never told a soul about that.

"I'm feeling fine," I tell him seriously. "You worry too much," I add as he turns his head so he's facing me. "It's not like I'm in any danger here, right?"

He nods his head, sitting up so he can press his lips against mine. I hold him there with my hand on his neck, wanting to taste him. Then someone knocks on the door and Draco hops up, putting that towel back around his waist.

It's the room service and Draco tips the guy with muggle money after he rolls the cart in. I am hungry, but my eating habits are still not the best and I hesitate a second before Draco taps my knee.

"Eat," he orders and I inhale sharply before nodding my head.

I grab the plate of waffles right off and Draco laughs at me as I set it on my lap, dousing it in syrup from a fancy metal container.

"Hungry?" he asks as he pours himself some coffee.

"Famished," I say after taking the first bite and savoring it with my eyes closed.

He laughs again before handing me a glass of juice.

My juice to his coffee.

My waffles to his omelet.

Just little things like that make me feel so immature, but I try to shake off those thoughts as I eat the strawberries that are on the side of my plate.

As I eat, I try not to think of Riddle Manor and that horrible chair that would keep me locked in until I ate everything on my plate... I try not to think about Tom and the way he stared at me from across the table the night he killed Harry's relatives... I try not to think about the way his hand felt like ice as he danced it up my neck.. .I try not to think of how red his eyes looked when he was on top of me...

"Ginny," Draco says my name sharply and when I look to him, he raises a brow. "Eat," he repeats and I nod my head, going back to the waffles and strawberries with a little less vibrato than before.

I start thinking of my dream as the baby kicks inside of me and I pause a second with my hand over my stomach.

"Is he moving?" Draco asks softly, placing his hand over mine.

He takes a drink from his coffee when the baby kicks again and I move his hand to the right spot, finally letting him feel something he's been waiting to feel all week.

"Do you feel that?" I ask, giving him a tender because I know how much he likes it... a lot more than I do, apparently. I try to match his enthusiasm so I don't seem like the heartless one in the relationship. "It's like he's running a marathon," I joke and Draco gives me a warm smile like the thought pleased him. "It keeps me up at night sometimes," I admit, my voice dropping to a more somber level.

"I thought I was the only one who did that," his says as he wiggles his brows. I snort in laughter and he looks down at my stomach where his hand is still pressed against the baby.

He kicks again and Draco's eyes shine with something I can't readily place.

"Wild," he says with a little smile dancing on the corner of his lips.

Wild...

Wild...

Wild...

Wild...

Wild...

The skipping mobile from my dream makes me pause and I shake the thoughts away quickly with a violent turn of my head.

"What are you thinking?" Draco asks as he pulls his hand back. "Your mind was far away just now."

I lick my lips as I look into his concerned eyes and I grip my fork a little tighter.

"Half of me is afraid he's going to have scales and fangs," I admit softly, stabbing some more waffles with my fork. "Like a snake," I whisper shamefully as I think of the red eyed beast in my dream.

"I'm sure the healer would have noticed if you were giving birth to a reptile, Gin," he scolds me like I was being ridiculous and I know he's right, but I can't help it. "This is about your dream, isn't it?" he pulls the thought from my mind as he puts his mug down. "You're being silly about it."

"I don't think I'm being silly," I tell him flatly. "I just think..." I trail off, not sure of what I think.

"Stop thinking so much," he says seriously as he looks me over. "You over think everything. Things are fine. You've seen what he looks like yourself. Nothing out of the normal... no deformities."

He's right, of course, and I nod my head.

"Besides," he says with a sigh as he leans over to kiss my shoulder. "What if it isn't a snake you're dreaming about?" I give him a puzzled look, and he smiles. "What if it's a dragon?"

I match his smile and roll my eyes. "I think I would know the difference."

"Would you?" he asks as he takes my plate, putting it down on the serving tray before turning back to me. "Scales, fangs... snakes aren't the only creatures that have those."

"You're reaching," I tell him with a little smile and he laughs.

He grabs my chin and tilts my face towards his, giving me a deep kiss. He tastes like coffee and I wonder if I taste sweeter for him after the syrup and strawberries.

I hope I do. I want to be sweet for him.

"I was thinking," he says when he pulls back, tilting his head as he looks into my eyes. "When I come back, we'll go out."

"Go out?" I raise an eyebrow. We never go anywhere... not any more.

"Yeah," he says, giving me a charming smile. "Out."

"Out where?" I question and he silences me another kiss.

He puts a little more passion into it and then he pushes me down until I'm laying on my back...A position he seems to find me most pleasing, actually. He tangles his hand in my already messy hair and I make a very odd whining noise into his mouth when he does that thing... that thing with his tongue that drives me wild.

Wild.

He takes my hand and pulls it towards his lap so I can feel his very obvious arousal...

"I don't know," I whisper as I pull my hand back, putting my forehead against his. My parents are right down the hall and I just... I'm so big now.

"You don't know what?" he asks.

His kisses go to my neck as he settles more on his side, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses on my skin. Then he moves his hand to my breast where he squeezes gently, making my body come alive with want. He likes that they've gotten bigger, and he told me that was another pro I could add to the list.

Like that mattered to me.

"I don't feel very well," I lie to him because I'm too far along and my body is too different to feel comfortable being intimate with him right now... and I haven't finished my plate.

I need to finish my plate.

It's a rule.

"Come on," he says with a little smile that turns me on because everything he does turns me on. "Don't be that way. Let me make you feel better."

"I feel fine," I say gently, teasingly, because we both know how this is going to end up.

"Well," he says with his lips against mine as he pushes up my shirt. "Let me make you feel better than fine."

He adds a kiss to my jaw and I lick my lips as he goes back to touching me with those clever fingers of his. He glances at me when my breath quickens and he smirks in victory... The sun is shining into his eyes, making them look like steel.

"Yes?" he asks, knowing very well what I'm going to say.

"Okay," I say softly, because I can't seem to deny him anything... not now... not anymore. I just feel like I owe him so much and it's a debt I'll never be able to repay.

He gives me another charming smile before kissing me heatedly. I let him pull off the t-shirt quickly and I roll to my side as he folds himself around me. It's harder now, that my stomach is so large, and we have to use different positions to make it work, but he never seems to care.

He doesn't mind at all.

I barely get any rest, actually.

He calls it making up for lost time, but I think he's just sad. He's sad over the death of his father and maybe he's even scared about the war. He's been through so many battles already and, with even more to be fought, there's a good chance that he could be hurt. People that he loves could die...

Die... just another name on my mental list.

His hand disappears under my knickers and I close my eyes when I feel his clever fingers doing things they seem to be made for doing. Sex is a comfort that we both use... an escape from what makes us miserable and he never says no to me... so I shouldn't say it to him... right?

I let him, even if I don't really want to or even if I'm too tired. I let him because I love him and it's what he wants...and no matter what I initially think, I always end up wanting it too. That seems to be a theme with me, anyways. Unsure and resistant at first until I give in and then towards the end I realize that I wanted it all along.

How messed up is that?

"Put your hand in my hair," he whispers against my ear as he slides into me. I reach over my shoulder, letting my fingers slide up his neck and into his hair.

It was really easy to convince my parents to let Draco and I share a room. I was already pregnant, after all, and they were giving into my every whim. It's because they feel bad for me... I can see it in their eyes every time they look my way and I can tell in the way their voice dips when they speak to me. I'm pitied by just about everyone but Draco and his friends... who still seem to think I'm ungrateful.

"Tell me you love me," he orders as he puts his hand on my thigh, opening my legs further.

"I love you," I whisper softly and I say it again when he sucks on my earlobe. "I love you so much," I end up whimpering because he was feeling too good and I know he likes to hear me say it.

He smiles against my cheek and adds a kiss as a reward.

Pansy had actually snapped at me yesterday for what she deemed my selfish disregard for everyone's feelings but my own. She didn't appreciate me toying with Zabini's feelings. She didn't appreciate me toying with Draco's. She called me selfish again and told me to grow up.

She told me to get with the program or 'get off the fucking boat'.

I just stared at her. I was eating a bag of chocolate covered peanuts and I just stared at her as they melted in my hands. Someone must have told her about my late night chats with Zabini... Honestly, it seemed like a lifetime ago, but it must have been a fresh wound in her memory because she just kept going... she just kept yelling at me.

Eventually I gave in... I told her I was sorry and I explained to her that Draco and I had already worked everything out. Things were fine, I told her. Draco was fine.

"Draco has been very forgiving with you," she cut me off quickly with a hand on her hip. She has a scar on her face now... a red one that runs down her cheek and it won't heal with magic. "A mercy he hasn't extended to the rest of us."

I didn't say anything to that, I just let the chocolate melt.

"I'm tired of hearing about this kind of stuff. You are driving a wedge between Draco and Blaise and that is a partnership that was formed long before you came into the picture," she snapped at me and I felt guilty... a feeling that seemed to be an every day occurrence now.

"You need to grow up," she repeated for the millionth time and I just let her scold me because what did I have to say about it? Nothing. I never have anything to say. "Stop playing the wounded farm girl and take one bloody moment to realize your actions affect others. Realize how lucky you are."

"I know-"

"You don't know," Pansy hissed. "Stop playing dumb. There are only so many times that can slide."

Her narrowed eyes flicked to my stomach as my face got hot.

"You don't have many options right now, Ginny," she said flatly. "Draco isn't going to let you leave him."

"I don't want to leave him," I replied, somewhere between hating her and wanting to hide from the conversation that I thought was unfair.

"Then act like it," she snapped as she walked towards the door. "You know, you aren't the only one with problems," she said with her hand on the door knob. "Get over yourself and stop acting so helpless. You owe him everything."

With that she left and I was too stunned to do anything. No one had talked to me like that since I had been back from Riddle Manor and it was hard to wrap my head around.

Everything.

I owe him everything.

I hate owing people.

Draco's movements become more insistent, so I shake out of my memories to focus on him and how his body feels against mine.

"Kiss me," he demands and I turn my neck, finding his lips and letting him slide his tongue along mine.

I take his bottom lip between my teeth and tug as I pull on his hair.

"Draco..." I whisper into the pillow. He presses his teeth down on my shoulder, but he doesn't bite me because he knows that I don't want that... not now anyways. "Say it," I whimper.

I need to hear it. I need to know it's him.

"I am Draco Malfoy," he says against my ear.

I can feel the smile on his face because he thinks this is silly, but he doesn't understand. He doesn't get why I need him to say it. I need to make sure he's not someone else.

There's a certain way, a proud way, that Draco says his name that tips me off.

I will not be fooled again.

"I am fucking Ginny Weasley," he laughs as he picks up his pace and I grab his hand. He kisses my neck. "I am Draco Malfoy," he whispers against my skin. "And I love you."

Love.

I know the Dark Lord can't say that word with the same kind of conviction. I turn my head and grab his hair to pull his lips to mine in a violent kiss.

That does it.

It only takes him a few more thrusts to be done and I press into him as he rides out his orgasm. He whispers a few cuss words as he holds me tightly before pulling out with a kiss against my neck. He rests his head against mine for a few moments before checking his watch and groaning.

"I have to go," he says quickly as he gets up and starts to pull on some clothes.

I watch him as I tug on one of his shirts to cover my nudity while he gets ready. His hair is a mess and I smile a little as he goes over to the mirror to comb it out.

"I like it when your hair is messy," I muse as I watch him try to tame the wild strands that are sticking up all over the place.

"Can't go around looking like Potter, now can I?" he jokes with a wink and I smile at him.

"I like Harry's hair," I say and he gives me a sharp look that I laugh at. "But I like yours better," I add for good measure.

"I should hope you do with the way you fucking play with it," he tells me flatly and I bite my lower lip to stop another giggle from escaping. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that his hair just grows in all stupid looking like that," he says as he looks back to me with a brow raised. "Mine only gets out of place when being tugged on by a beautiful girl."

I feel a pleased blush stain my cheeks and he stares at me.

"You always look so good after I've bedded you," he says wistfully and I give him a smile as I sit on the bed to braid my hair. "Maybe that's why I do it so often."

"Only because I let you," I tease him as he leans over the bed to place another gentle kiss against my lips.

I hold him there with my hand on his neck.

"Do you really have to go?" I ask softly, trying to pull him back into bed. I make him lay beside me and I run my nose along his. "Stay with me and cuddle," I say with a pout because I hate when he takes off after sex.

I feel like he gets his, so I should get what I want too.

He looks at his watch. "I don't know-"

I press a kiss to his lips to cut off his answer and I tangle a leg in his. "Just for a little while..." I whisper when he pulls back. I bite the corner of my lower lip and give him my best pleading look. "Please? Just keep me warm?"

I don't like being alone. I don't know who I am if I'm not with someone else... I mean... my thoughts get too dark... my mind goes to weird places if Draco's not there to bring me back.

He looks at his watch and then he nods quickly. I smile in victory when he gets comfortable again and I lay against him.

"I wish you didn't have to go," I pout against his chest. "I wish you could stay with me."

"I wish that too," he says, only half lying. "I enjoy your company much more."

"I can go with you," I offer as I drum my fingers against his chest.

He laughs and it rumbles against my ear. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" I ask, knowing perfectly well, but he humors me anyways as I creep my hand down his chest.

"Because," he says as he takes a strand of my hair. "Because your hair so incredibly bright that it would distract everybody and we don't want that, now do we?"

I smile and shake my head. "Not at all," I answer softly as I pop my head up to look at him. "Maybe I should dye my hair black."

"No," he says as he kisses my forehead. "I like your bright hair. It makes you easier to spot in a crowd."

I laugh again and then my hand disappears under the waist band of his pressed gray slacks. He arches his back when I find him under his boxers and I bite the corner of my lip, hiding a smile...

"What are you doing?" he asks with a hand on my wrist.

"Sh," I say as I start moving my hand and I think he's going to stop me for a moment, but he uses his left hand to unbuckle his belt.

I smirk in triumph as I sit up and help him.

"I'm going to be late," he scolds as our fingers fumble around each other to unzip his pants.

"But you're doing nothing to stop it."

"Of course not," he whispers. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No," I say seriously as I straddle his waist. "I think you're sexy."

He laughs and so do I because I can't believe that left my mouth. I bring my hand up to cover my loud laugh and then I smile down at him as I bite the corner of my lip.

"If there was a reality where I could just fuck you all day, I think that would be heaven," he says as he gives me his best smug smile with his hands on my hips.

"We could do that," I say gently as I bend down as much as my stomach will allow to place a lingering kiss on his lips. "Just stay in this hotel room forever," I whisper as I pull back. "Where real life worries don't exist."

"I doubt you'd want to be around me that much," he jokes. I finally stop teasing him and I actually lower myself down onto his waiting body. "I'm kind of a bastard."

"That's half the reason why I love you," I admit to him as I reach under his shirt to feel his warm chest.

"What's the other half?" he asks with a brow raised and his cheeks start to heat from my movements. "My big co-"

I cover his mouth with my hand before he can finish that sentence and laugh at the indignant look me gives me.

"You have such a dirty mouth," I chastise.

I let that hand slide down to his hair when my movements get too involved and I can't talk anymore. He puts his hand on face and then he runs his thumb over my lips, smirking, as he looks at me with darkened eyes.

I love it when he looks at me like that... Like I'm the only person in the world.

I hold his gaze for as long as possible before clenching my eyes shut and turning away. It's building too quickly... I'm going too fast. I'm going to be done soon. I don't want him to leave just yet so I slow my movements down and I use his chest as leverage as I gently roll my hips against his.

I know he hates it. Draco always likes it hard and fast... Even though he'll humor me sometimes and be loving about it, I know his best orgasms come with speed and little a bit of pain.

"Harder," he says with his fingers digging into my skin. "You know you're going too fucking slow."

I stop moving all together and look down at him with an eyebrow raised, almost taking pleasure in his frustration.

"Move," he snaps.

I know he's close. He jerks his hips up and I gasp at the feeling, my body already so close to the edge.

"No," I say with labored breaths as I push the bangs out of my face. "Say please," I taunt and he narrows his eyes.

"You're aware that I could just throw you into whatever position I want," he snaps as he thrusts up again, making me clench my eyes shut. "I'm a lot bigger than you are."

"Not that much bigger," I tell him with a little smile curling at the corner of my mouth. "Say please," I say as I move up and down only once to prolong his torture.

"Trying to get me to beg," he nearly laughs as sweat gathers on his brow. "Does that turn you on now?"

"Maybe you looking so pissed off while you say it does," I say with a smile as I move my hips again, only to have him moan and arch his back.

"Please," he says through clenched teeth when I refuse to move for the fifth time. I grin down at him and he glares.

"What was that?"

"I said please, goddamnit," he snaps and I snort in laughter before I actually start moving again because if I test him anymore, I know he really will throw me into a different position.

He's done it before.

"You need to work on your pleading skills if you want this relationship to work," I tease as I use his chest as leverage to move hard and fast like he likes.

"Stop talking," he hisses and I laugh again.

When we're both finished and a sweating mess, I rest beside him with my breath coming out in short gasps.

"I was going to say conscious, you know," he smiles at the ceiling with his hand propped up behind his head. "That's what I was going to say before you covered my mouth. My big conscious."

"No, you weren't," I smirk when he turns to kiss me. "You were going to say cock."

"I like the way you say that word," he says with a pleased grin. I make a face at his obvious pleasure as he looks down at me with fond eyes. "Look who has the filthy mouth now."

He kisses me again and then he checks his watch.

"I really have to go now," he says with a long sigh.

"Okay." I nod head before he places a very sweet and very gentle kiss against my lips. "I'll allow it," I add for good measure and he bops my nose with his finger before standing straight.

"Be good," he says quickly, throwing on a pair loafers...using a shoe horn like an old man because he obsessively takes care of his footwear.

I watch him walk to the door while tucking in his shirt and I hide a secret smile because his hair... his hair is impossibly messy now. It's sticking up in the back and a few places in the front like he had a rather impressive cowlick. I smile at him because if he saw his reflection, he'd probably stop all he was doing to comb it out again.

"Don't watch too much of that thing," he says, pointing to the television as I try not to laugh at how adorable his hair looks. "Those muggles will rot your brain."

I nod my head, knowing I'm not going to listen to him. He gives me another sharp look as he buckles his belt.

"I'm serious, Gin."

"I know you are," I reply with a teasing smile.

That earns me another terrible look that I laugh at.

When he goes to open the door, Hermione is standing on the other side with her hand up like she was about ready to knock. I scramble to put on a pair of sweat pants and now it's Draco's turn to laugh as he hears me fumble behind him.

"Hey, Draco," she says tersely, saying his first name as a way to make peace.

He looks at me and raises his brows.

"Let her in," I whisper as Hermione's cheeks blush at his obvious disdain for her.

There's a moments pause before Draco steps aside, not saying one word in greeting.

I make a face at his back for being so rude, but I let it fall quickly as I try to adjust the pants.

"I'll be gone about six hours," Draco tells me and I nod my head, trying to act like I had pants on the whole time. "Be ready when I come back."

"I will, babe," I tell him with a little smile and once the door closes, I look at Hermione. She has a book in her hand and a very affronted look on her face. "What are you doing here?" I ask with a little blush on my cheeks as I tug on my shirt.

I am pleased that I won't be on my own. I try to show it by smiling sweetly, ignoring the stupid pants and how uncomfortable they make me feel. I think I put them on backwards because I feel the tag digging into my tummy... but it's too late to fix it now.

"Just thought I'd say hi," she says as I find the remote to turn the t.v. back on. To hell with whatever Draco has to say on the matter. "I still don't like the way he speaks to you," she says, nodding to the door as she cradles that book to her chest.

"What are you talking about?" I ask with a frown as I start flicking through all the colorful channels.

"Malfoy just orders you around. He never asks you nicely like a normal person. He just barks demands."

"No, he doesn't," I say in defense before I realize that Draco does seem to come across that way... especially around Hermione. "He can be sweet," I add honestly as I remember how good he was this morning. "You don't see him the way I do," I admit.

She makes a face that she thinks I can't see, but I do.

I look towards the serving tray where my half eaten breakfast is and I reach for it. Hermione sees my struggle and she grabs the plate for me, handing it to me after I say thank you.

"That's just the way he talks," I say with a shrug as she takes a seat beside me on the bed.

She probably wouldn't want to sit there if she knew what Draco and I just did in that spot not too long ago.

I bet she'd make all kinds of faces then.

"Well, I don't like it," she says.

I stand up with my plate to sit at the small table in the corner. Without Draco here to coach me through it, I don't feel comfortable sitting anywhere else. I take a seat and pause a second before digging my fork into the waffle.

"He's not like Ron," I admit because I've heard the way Ron speaks to Hermione now that they're officially together. He's so nice and fumbling with his lines... Draco's never that way. "He just doesn't talk like that. He's not being rude... I just think he doesn't know how to be any way else. He's a good guy."

"Trust me," she says seriously. "Half the time he's just being rude."

"That means the other half of the time he isn't," I counter and she purses her lips.

She doesn't say anything for a few moments as I eat and watch t.v. When I offer her a bite from my plate, she declines with her hand up.

"I wanted to talk to you," she says and I glance at her after taking a drink from my juice.

"Yeah?" I say nervously because that never ends well for me.

"Yeah," she nods her head and then looks at the t.v. where I've stopped on a channel that plays music videos all day long. "I overheard you talking to Parkinson the other day," she says.

My cheeks heat and I push my plate away because I know what conversation she heard.

"What was that all about?" she questions softly and I think a moment before replying.

"It was nothing," I lie with a shrug as I take another bite of waffles even though I'm not hungry any more. "She was just upset with me... it was stupid."

"She shouldn't talk to you like that," Hermione says and when I glance at her, she has a frown on her face. She stands up, leaving the book on my bed to sit in front of me, successfully blocking the view of the television. "No one should talk to you like that," she adds.

I don't say anything for a few moments as I construct a reply and I lick my lips before looking at her.

"She was just mad at me," I decide on saying. It was true, Pansy was angry with me and I can't say I blame her. What I was doing with Zabini wasn't fair to her either because I knew how she felt about him. "That's all."

Hermione stares at me, not saying a word.

"It's nothing," I shrug to fill the silence. "Everything is fine now."

She looks me over, studying my face as I look back at the t.v., craning my neck to see around her bushy hair

"You know you don't owe Malfoy anything, right?" she says and I glance at her. "I mean, you don't owe anyone anything. That was a terrible thing for her to say and you can leave him if you want."

"I don't want that," I say tightly and she nods.

"But you do know that you don't have to be with him if you don't want to, right? You know that?" she asks softly and I nod my head. "No matter how much you think you owe him or... you know, that..." she adds, motioning to my stomach. "You don't have to be with someone you don't want to be with."

"I'm not stupid, Hermione," I tell her as I stand up and walk over to the window, crossing my arms as I stare at the muggle city below.

"I didn't say that," she says and then she sighs. "You know, I never felt okay with the way that he courted you."

"What?" I ask more sharply than I should, but she doesn't catch it.

"He was just all over you all of sudden and his friends... it was like they were courting you too, constantly pushing you in his direction. It was weird."

I don't say anything.

"If I would have known that your parents couldn't get you out of school, I would have made you come with us when we left," she says as I remember that night. How the ministry fell and they had to run. "I shouldn't have left you with them. It was always them against you. You never had a chance..."

"I love Draco," I tell her firmly.

"You know, just because he doesn't hit you..." she trails off when I give her a sharp look and she retracts quickly. "I mean, abuse takes many different forms."

I roll my eyes and turn away. "Draco isn't abusive."

"By your definition," she replies and then she shakes her head again. "Love is a partnership, not a dictatorship. A lot of people can't tell the difference until it's too late and I fear from what I've seen... what I've heard..."

"Stop," I hiss, my voice taking a very dark tone that surprises her because she snaps her mouth shut quickly. "I don't know why you're saying such ugly things to me. It was Draco who helped you out of the castle that night. If it wasn't for him, you three would probably be dead."

"And do I owe him anything for that? Do I owe him something for being a decent person?" she asks as she stands up to approach me. "You're not stupid, Ginny. You're not stupid. You're not helpless. You're brave and those people... people like Pansy... they don't give you enough credit. She said you were lucky? You've been through so much. No one should talk to you like that. The Ginny I knew would have probably pulled out her wand and hexed Parkinson for saying such a thing!"

I look at her with a frown on my face. Her eyes are a darker brown than mine and I stare at her for a few moments before turning away and shaking my head.

"I'm an awful person, Hermione," I tell her as I look outside. "I've been a terrible girlfriend to Draco... a terrible friend... a terrible daughter... a terrible sister..."

I trail off as I think of all the bad things I've done.

"I hurt everyone who loves me. Pansy is right. I am selfish and ungrateful and weak and foolish. Everything bad that's happened to me, happened because my decisions have been stupid. I never think before I act. I never think of who I'm going to hurt or what's going to happen. I just do the first thing that comes into my head like a... like a child... and I never know the right thing to do. I'm not like you."

I can see her furrow her brow and shake her head.

"I'm not like you," I repeat. "I'm not clever or strong. I'm just... I don't know..." I put my hand on my forehead and clench my eyes shut. "I'm even whining right now," I say in disgust as I think of Tom and how often he scolded me for it.

There's another long silence. I start chewing on my finger nails as she stares at me.

"I think the worst thing that came out of all of this was that people made you feel this way," she says as she reaches out to touch my arm.

I don't say anything.

Then she hugs me.

She hugs me as tight as my stomach will allow and I tense for a few uncomfortable moments before wrapping my arms around her too. I feel almost desperate as I cling to her. It was pathetic really, how emotional I was getting over one little embrace. I missed Hermione. Even though I had always felt like she was just my friend because of Ron and Harry... I don't care about that right now.

I miss her.

When she finally pulls back, my eyes are wet.

"You're brave, Ginny. You're brave and you're strong and you're so good." she swallowed hard. "If I had been through what you'd been through... isolated... with the Dark Lord... I wouldn't be half as okay as you are. You don't give yourself enough credit. And... maybe it would be a good idea to kind of take a break from Draco for a little while," she says and and I shoot her a look. "I mean... if you want."

I don't want to talk about it anymore, so I turn away.

"What book are you reading?" I ask as I go to the bed t pick it up.

Gods, Myths, and Folklore from around the world is the title and I turn it in my hand to read the back as she stares at me.

"Is it any good?" I add as I flip the pages, trying to lead her away from the prior conversation. "I haven't read anything in such a long time."

"You can borrow it," she says softly, walking towards me until I'm forced to look at her again. "It's kind of interesting."

I nod and let a silence fall between us, hoping she won't bring up anything uncomfortable.

"What's that like?" she asks and when I give her a curious look, she nods at my stomach.

"Oh..." I trail off and put my hand there. "Uncomfortable mostly," I admit because it was true.

I haven't really felt very bonded with him yet... I think a part of me is afraid to just in case he comes out with red eyes and looking like Tom Riddle. I feel like a terrible person for it, but Draco seems to be looking forward to parenthood a lot more than me.

I'm scared to death.

"Do you think Malfoy will be a good father?" she asks, still looking at my stomach.

"I know he will," I say without hesitation and she looks at my face again, giving me tight smile.

"I hope so," she says and before I can reply, she smiles. "I know you're going to be a great mother."

"I hope so," I mutter and then I give her a fake sunny smile. "Let's talk about something else... or better yet..." I go back to the remote and point it at the t.v. "Let's watch a movie."

The conversation stays in lighter waters as she sits and watches some muggle movie with me. After an hour into it, she looks at the clock.

"I have to get going," she says as she stands up and rights her clothes. "I have to go to the ministry... they're having some kind of walk through of the war," she says with an eye roll. "So that old men who didn't fight can get the story straight. Do you want to come?" she asks after a seconds pause. "I mean, I'm sure what you would have to say would be invaluable."

Thinking about even talking about my time with Tom Riddle makes my skin crawl and I shake my head as I look back at the television.

She nods. "Alright, well, I'll see you later."

"Bye," I say with out looking away from the screen.

With that she leaves, and I'm okay for another hour or so... but then my thoughts start to twist... my memories start playing back every bad thing that happened to me. The Dark Lord with his red eyes and cruel smirk are at the forefront of my mind and I stare at the television, seeing nothing at all but the nightmares in my head.

Do you hear that?

Tom's voice slithers into my ears.

A steady heartbeat.

I put my hand on my stomach and glance down at the baby.

One so strong it could bring me back from the poison you slipped in my drink.

What else could he bring him back from? The final death? Could he do that? Could I risk that?

I get up to use the rest room as the thoughts spin and twist in my head. I stare at myself and my new body in the mirror for a while, turning to the side and running my hand along my middle before sighing loudly.

I honestly don't know how to feel about it and all these dreams are messing up my mind.

I dig into one of the drawers under the sink and when I find my hidden bag towards the back, I pull it out quickly. I sit on the ledge of the bath tub and take out the small blue vial with the golden label... a potion that Ruth Davenport gave me.

You should never have a child you don't want.

I hold it up to the light as I remember her words.

It's a chain that will bind you forever.

Is that what I want?

I put a hand over my belly and then read the instructions on the back.

It will kill a pregnancy at any term... Just down the whole bottle in one sitting and it will be terminated.

There might be blood.

I know I shouldn't... I know it's wrong. I know it's not fair...

I just keep thinking of the snake in the nursery... and Tom... and the rapes... and no matter how sweet Draco can be... those thoughts refuse to go away.

I uncork the top and sniff it.

It smells like flowers and soap.

Of course, there's a flip side to my thoughts.

For each snake, I think of a beautiful little baby like Victorie. My brother's little girl seems to be one of the only rays of light in this deary world. She's so sweet... so innocent.

I rub my stomach again.

For each thought of Tom, I think of Draco when he's at his best.

For each violent memory, there's a thought about the future... where Draco and I are a family, living in a perfect house, in a perfect world, with a perfect child.

Where the world is perfect as it should be.

All those sunny thoughts quickly fade in the darkness of my mind... I had been through too much to ever be normal again and I can't see myself being that happy ever again. Not really... not like before... never again.

I bring the vial up to my lips and I pause for a second.

What do I really want in this situation?

I'm not ready to be a parent to anyone. I'm not even good at caring for myself let alone someone else... and what if he's evil? What if he brings the Dark Lord back... What if he's like Tom and I... I pull the vial away from my lips and press my palm to my forehead.

I hate that life is not easy.

That things are not clearly black and white... that there isn't a heavenly force that can come down and tell me the right thing to do.

I probably wouldn't even believe it if that happened. I'm too dense to realize a good thing.

Is Draco a good thing?

Is this a good thing? I ask myself as I rub my stomach again.

I think of Draco, with his handsome smile and his lips pressed against my stomach... I think of the little kicks I've started to feel as the baby moves around. I stare at the vial again. It's white knuckled in my left hand and burning a hole into my skin.

What would I tell people?

That I had a miscarriage?

They were all surprised that the baby was so healthy after the battle at Shell Cottage... There was blood... too much blood to be believed and they all just assumed he was dead. But there was a heart beat... I could hear it in my head as I slept.

I can hear it now... thump, thump, thumping against my mind like a well oiled machine.

What would Draco say to me right now? Of course he would talk me out of it. He thinks that the baby's his anyways and I'm sure he'd snap at me. Question me why I'd want to get rid of something that we made.

He'd be surprise, I'm sure, that the thought even crossed my mind.

Maybe he'd even be angry with me. He'd probably take the vial away and scold me for being selfish.

Selfish.

I am being selfish. I'm always selfish.

I can't do it.

Before I change my mind, I stand up and pour the potion down the toilet. I watch as the black liquid flushes down and I start biting my nails until it's all gone with something heavy settling on my chest.

I look at the empty vial and then throw it away before leaving the bathroom.

I feel like this is the right thing to do. Right? Why do I feel so awful about it?

I go back to the couch to watch another movie on the telly as I curl myself into the cushions... trying to get comfortable with my hand on my stomach. When he kicks a few times, I know that I made the right choice even if it was wrong.

I immerse myself in the fiction playing on the screen and for a blissful while I can forget about my awful life and just relax. When Draco finally comes back, I'm still stationed in front of the television, watching the final scene of some epic three hour drama with a cover bunched around me like a cocoon.

"Gin," he snaps at me, clearly irritated and when I look at him, I feel my cheeks blush. "Come on."

"I'm sorry," I whisper before turning back to the show. It's over now and the credits are rolling. "I lost track of time," I say, fighting with the cover to get up so I can take a shower and ignore what I almost did.

I almost ended something that barely had a chance to begin and I feel incredibly horrible about it.

"Just give me a few minutes."

Before I get to the bathroom, he grabs my arm. I flinch, thinking he's going to yell at me, but instead he leans down to press a kiss to my lips.

"Hurry," he sighs.

I nod my head, blushing at my over reaction and the embarrassing pulse that went between my legs.

"What should I wear?" I ask him before going into the wash room.

"Clothes," he says with a smirk, thinking he's clever.

I take a quick shower and dress for the day in one of the only outfits that fit. An oversized green shirt and stretchy leggings. I am very aware of Draco's presence as I brush through my hair and put on some make-up in front of the mirror by the bed. He's changed out of the dark clothes he left with this morning, wearing an altogether lighter outfit.

"You're dressed really nicely," I point out, frowning as I pull my hair up into a high pony tail.

He looks down at his outfit and shrugs. He always dresses nicely, of course. He's a Malfoy after all, but today he just looked so polished and clean. He favored darker colors and well pressed slacks, but he was wearing shorts today... Khaki, well tailored, shorts that go down to his knees with a steel blue dress shirt tucked in. His sunglasses are hooked into the front pocket of his shirt and he has brown leather deck shoes on his feet.

He looks like he just stepped off of a very expensive boat.

I look down at my own outfit... there's a stain on my chest and I frown as I try to rub it out after I lick my thumb.

I can see Draco moving from the corner of my eyes. When he sits on the bed to watch me with his ankle on his knee, I glance at him.

He's smiling.

"What?" I ask stupidly before going back to the freaking stain, trying to rub it out so hard that my thumb starts burning.

"You're cute," he says and I frown at him.

Then he pulls out a straw fedora, placing it cock-eyed on his head as he grabs the book Hermione let me borrow. He starts flicking through it with his brows up like he was bored before finding something of interest and settling back to read it. I look at him with a scowl on my face as he scratches his neck, his silver watch catching the light from the window.

"Are you wearing the hat too?" I ask in whine and he cocks his eyebrow at me.

"What's wrong with the hat?" he asks and I shake my head.

"You always look so good and cool," I snap as I go back to the wardrobe where my clothes are hanging... "It's not fair," I mutter so he won't hear.

"Cool?" I can hear the joke in his voice as I sort through the clothes I was able to keep from my many moves. "You think I look cool?"

"You know you look cool," I hiss at him as I find a pretty dress that was stuffed at the bottom of the wardrobe.

It's white and has thin blue stripes on it.

It will do.

It's wrinkly and had fallen off the hanger some time ago, but I pull it out anyways because it's the only half way decent thing that has survived.

"It's hard to be this suave, Ginny," he says. He comes up behind me as I pull off the ugly t-shirt. "What you were wearing was fine," he says gently as I stuff myself into the dress that's a little too tight.

"It had a stain on it," I snap at him as I pull up the thick straps over my shoulders. "And I can't go anywhere with you if you're looking like... like that," I say, waving a hand in his well dressed direction.

He wants to laugh at me, but he hides his smile.

I huff and puff as I work my into it and then I glance at Draco. "Will you zip this for me?" I ask as I move my hair out of the way and face the wardrobe.

He starts, and then hesitates when the zipper is half way up. "I'm not sure if this is going to zip," he says seriously.

I inhale deeply and try to suck in as much as I can. "It will zip," I snap as I try to hold in my stomach.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm uncomfortable anyways," I tell him sharply. "Just zip it."

I can practically feel his glare on the back of my neck as he struggles to zip up the rest of the dress. Once it's finally done, I exhale the breath I was holding and pause a second, putting my hand on my protruding stomach and rubbing thoughtfully for a moment before shaking my head and reaching under the skirt of the dress to take off the leggings.

"This is turning into an all day fucking affair," Draco chimes in as I throw the leggings to the side.

I spare him a little look before he sits back down on the bed and picks up the book again.

I don't actually know why I'm so angry about this. Maybe because it makes me thinks of an old conversation I had with Pansy Parkinson on the train to Hogwarts. I want to look like I belong with him, don't I? Not that I'm just some country girl who's pregnant in a stained shirt next to his polished perfection.

"Where are we going anyways?" I ask as I grab a pair of shorts.

"Nowhere that should take this damn long to get ready for."

"Stop being hateful," I say as I shimmy the tight black shorts, hiding them under my dress.

He grabs a pen and writes something down in the book.

"That book belongs to Hermione," I tell him as he blows on the ink before snapping the book closed. "She only let me borrow it."

"All the more reason to vandalize it," he says, looking up as I adjust the shorts. "What's with the fucking shorts?" he snaps. "I don't have all day."

"If we're walking anywhere, I need to wear them because my thighs rub together and it's really, really hot outside!"

He sighs loudly and I can feel his temper rising as I pull my hair out of the ponytail.

I go back to the mirror to brush it out, but he beats me to it, grabbing my arm and glaring down at me.

"You look fine now," he says in sharp voice telling me he doesn't really care either fucking way. "We're going."

I nod my head and let him take my hand, practically dragging me out of the room. There's something sad about a pregnant teenager and all the muggles who work at the hotel keep giving me really depressing looks as I keep my head down, staring at the silver ballet flats I picked out. I think they actually belong to Daphne and they're a little too long for me but they go with the outfit.

Draco doesn't seem to care, he just puts his sunglasses on when we reach the lobby and I have to jog to keep up with his large strides. When we're going down a set of stairs, one of my flats fall off and I stumble.

Draco catches me and he grabs my shoe impatiently, kneeling in front of me and offering it to me so I can slide my foot in like Cinderella. I blush at the people looking at us as I stuff my foot into the flat with out much grace.

"This shoe doesn't fit you," he points out.

I feel my lower lip tremble before I cut off that emotional wave. No more of that.

"Nothing fits me," I mumble and when he looks at me, he doesn't look half as angry as before.

When we get outside, Draco says we have to go to the garage so I figure a car's going to be involved. I nod and let him take my hand, already sweating from the freaking heat. I feel like a stuffed ham or something equally as unattractive in this dress and shoes. I won't complain, though, because I don't want Draco to pop a blood vessel. I already know I've tried his patience too much today.

A Malfoy can only be spread so thin.

When we walk towards the black car with tinted windows, Draco takes out his keys and unlocks it as I stare at the ground, feeling uncomfortable.

"Here," he says as comes towards me and makes me turn around. "I didn't tie this properly," he says gently. There's a thick blue ribbon that runs right under my breasts on the dress and it's supposed to be tied in a ribbon on the back.

I guess I forgot about it, and when Draco's is finished tying it, he turns me around and kisses my forehead.

"I don't want you to be so unhappy," he says when he pulls back, tilting my chin up with his finger. "You look very pretty," he says to stroke my ego and I appreciate it even though it makes me feel like I'm a bratty little child. "Like a little doll," he muses as he presses a kiss to my lips.

He puts his hand on my stomach quickly before kissing me again. Then he takes off that very trendy hat and places it on my head.

"There," he says. He pushes it down over my ears so it's covering my eyes. "Now you're just as cool as me."

I laugh a little and push it up. "I doubt that's possible."

"True," he says with a smug smile before opening the car door for me. "But you can try," he motions to the seat and nods his head. "In," he orders. "It's fucking hot."

I give him a look for cussing and then I slide into the seat. He leans over me to help put on my seat belt like I was a child. "I think I can handle that," I whisper as he clicks it into place.

"No, you can't," he says, placing a kiss on my lips, staying there a little longer than necessary. When he pulls back, his sunglasses slide down his nose, revealing his silver eyes. He smiles as he looks over my face. "I bet you were a beautiful baby."

My face pales.

"W-What?" I stutter and he smirks before pulling back and shutting the door.

I start replaying my dream in my mind. That awful dream with that awful song...

I'm still reeling from it when he hops into his seat and I shake my head when he asks me if I'm alright.

"I'm fine," I say, giving him an uncomfortable smile. "Will you tell me where we're going now?" I ask once I clear my throat. "You know I don't like these muggle cars."

"It's a surprise," he says with his brows up as he starts the car.

"What kind of a surprise?"

"A good kind," he replies shortly as he cranes his neck to look behind him with his hand on the back of my head rest.

"Is there such a thing?" I ask as he moves the steering wheel around and around...

"We shall see, won't we?" he says gently, distracted as he tries to drive the car from the garage. "So stop asking."

I push the hat up because it's getting into my eyes and then I take it off totally so I can look at the band on the inside. It has some french tag I can't read and I finger it as Draco keeps driving.

"Where did you get this?" I ask because I've never seen him wear a hat before and I doubt he's gone shopping recently.

The thought is just silly.

"It was my father's," he says before putting his hand on my thigh.

Oh.

I put it back on and stare out the window.

Draco has rarely spoken about his father's death. There was a memorial for him and all the others who died at Shell Cottage a couple weeks ago. It turned into a memorial for every person who was lost during the war and it was the saddest thing I've ever sat through.

Everyone cried.

Everyone but Draco and Narcissa Malfoy who stayed stone still with their sunglasses on at the edge of the grounds with their icy expressions being commented on by everyone.

I leaned on Draco most of the day, and I overheard Mrs. Malfoy hiss that she couldn't stand that her husband had been lumped in with the others. That he had died for this pathetic cause...

Draco took her inside after that and I didn't see them the rest of the day.

When Draco found me later that night, he was drunk.

So drunk he was falling down and I ran to catch him before he slammed into one of the dressers.

"What are you doing?" I had asked him, squinting against the light he had turned on when he stumbled into the hotel room.

He reeked of firewhisky... and smoke... and another suspicious smell that wasn't pleasant. There was vomit on his shirt and when I realized what it was, I cringed.

When he tried to kiss me, I pushed him back.

He glared, his eyes glassy and red rimmed.

"Don't do that," he snapped as I backed away from him. "Come the fuck back here."

I had never seen Draco drunk before and he was almost belligerent.

He tripped again when he tried to make a grab for me and then he slumped against the wall, clenching his eyes shut.

"Where have you been?" I asked him with my arms crossed over my breasts.

"Out," he snapped, like my voice hurt his ears.

"Obviously," I whispered and he turned his face more towards the wall with his forehead pressed against it.

I started to feel guilty and it made me remember the first time I had drank... how I threw up and how he took care of me.

"Here," I walked towards him and started to unbutton his shirt. "Come on. Let's get you out of these clothes."

"Yes, please," he said with a little smirk on his face. "You should get undressed too."

I rolled my eyes and he let me take off his shirt. I crinkled my nose at the puke on the fabric as I bunched it up and threw it in the bathroom. Draco then proceeded to fall face first into the bed and for the first time ever I saw the toll that this year had placed on him. He looked just like an eighteen year old should... a little lost and not in control of anything... he looked so very young that it was heartbreaking.

I had never actually seen him so out of it and I hesitated a moment before going towards him and pulling off his shoes.

He mumbled something into the pillow and then turned on his back with his arm over his eyes when I threw his loafers on the floor.

"I'm just going to take off your belt," I whispered, not wanting him to be uncomfortable. "Then you can sleep."

"I don't want to sleep," he said... he almost whined... as I leaned over him to undo the buckle of his black leather belt.

He opened his eyes and stared at me as I pulled it through each of the loops.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked softly because he just kept on staring at me. I paused a second to look into his eyes. "Do you think you'll be sick again?"

"I didn't get sick," he said and I glanced at him before rolling his belt up and putting it on the ground by the shoes.

"I think you might have, honey," I said softly. I was sounding and acting really motherly to him and it was kind of strange considering he was usually the one in control of things.

"Honey?" he snorted at the endearment I had never called him and he sighed loudly.

"You had a lot to drink," I pointed out.

I couldn't fault him for it. Even though I was kind of hurt that he just left and got drunk with out telling me... I understood. I didn't want to be bitchy about it and I tried to resist asking him a million questions about where he had been and what he had been doing. I stood up to get him a glass of water and he grabbed my wrist.

"I did," he nodded his head and struggled to sit up. "Sit down," he said, tugging on my arm sharply.

I took a seat beside him as he rested against the head board. I ran my hand over his brow, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

His cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and his hair was disheveled.

He looked like a boy.

"Where did you go?" I asked softly as he grabbed my hand and pressed his lips against my palm.

"Nowhere," he admitted bitterly. He brought my hand to his lap and he started fingering the bracelet he had given me. "Everywhere. I don't know."

He finished that sentence with a shrug and I frowned.

"Are you alright?" I whispered as I watched him study my hand like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"I'm fine," he snapped at me and I flinched a little at the venom in his voice. "Don't ask me that question again."

I tugged my hand back. "Don't snap at me like that," I told him seriously, but it didn't really seem to faze him because he just narrowed his.

"Are you mine, Ginny?" he asked and I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I am," I answered with a head shake because he was being ridiculous.

He sat up a bit straighter and scooted towards me. He folded himself around my body with his hand dancing up my middle, finally resting on the baby bump that was forming.

"I don't regret things," he said in a harsh whisper as he ran his lips over my jaw. "I never regret things... If I did, I think it would have a domino effect and then I would never want to get out of bed."

I put my hand over his to calm him and then I turned my face towards his to kiss his cheek.

"Do you regret things?" he asked me softly, looking into my eyes. "Do you regret loving me?"

"Of course not," I told him seriously as I brought my hand up to rest on his face. "I would never regret that."

"Maybe you should, Ginny," he said darkly. "You're stuck with me for life. Do you realize that?"

I furrowed my brows because he eyes were starting to look a little too dark... a little too wild.

Wild...

"If you ever left me, I would find you and bring you back," he snapped at me like he was angry. "If you tried to hide from me, I would find you. If you left me for someone else, I would kill them." I opened my mouth to respond to his horrible drunk ramblings, but he beat me to it. "I know I should probably let you go. Tell you that you'd be better off without me... that I love you enough to realize I'm not good for you. Well, fuck that."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise as he glared at me.

"I am not that kind of guy. I love you and I have you... and I'll continue to have you no matter what."

He paused for a second as he licked his lips and pulled away from me.

"I feel bad for you sometimes," he said seriously. "You deserve better than me, but that doesn't mean I'm fucking going anywhere."

I didn't really know what to say to him. I knew he was just drunk talking, but his subject matter was troubling. He sighed loudly after a few moments and then tugged on my arm as he sat back.

"Sit on my lap," he ordered as he pulled me towards him.

I did as he said and once I was in place with my feet dangling above the floor, he put his head in the crook of my neck and inhaled a long breath as he wrapped his arms around me. I kissed his head and threaded my fingers through his soft blond hair. He didn't say anything and we sat like that in silence as I held him to me.

"I am so drunk," he finally said after about an hour of just sitting in silence and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Just a bit," I answered when he finally lifted his head from my neck. I pressed my lips to his and he rested his forehead against mine.

"If you can think that way..." I trailed off as I swallowed hard. "I can too," I told him and he raised an eyebrow. "You're mine and I won't let you leave me either."

He smirked and the kissed me hard.

I glance at Draco again, pulling out of the memory as I watch him drive. That was the only time I've ever seen him so inebriated. I was kind of glad I saw it, though. It made him more human... it showed that things did bother him.

"I wish we could ride on your motorbike," I say with a little smile and he glances at me. "That was fun."

"That was on your birthday," he says as he swerves into traffic, tugging on some of my hair until I look at him. "What a sweet thing you were then."

I smile at him and he puts his hand on my thigh again, running his fingers over my bare skin after pushing up my dress.

"Showing up at my house with your dress unzipped. You were such a tease."

"It wasn't all the way unzipped," I mumble as I remember and he smiles at me. "I just couldn't reach it."

"You looked all little and innocent," he says like he was remembering it well and I put my hand on top of his. "And that pink bike with the basket," he laughs at the memory and I find a laugh on my own lips as I look at him. "You were like a piece of candy just waiting to be eaten."

"Charming," I joke and he laughs again, a short bark of a laugh as the smile lingers on his lips.

I start playing with his fingers and, just because I can't help myself, I lean over and kiss his temple.

"I'm seventeen now," I say, actually realizing it as I pull back. "We both had birthdays," I point out. I stare at his profile as he moves the car through traffic. "They just passed by like it was nothing. I'm of age," I blink when I realize that... my birthday just came and went a month ago... just like it was nothing. "I'm of age now," I say, smiling at Draco.

"Indeed you are, sweetheart," he says.

"You're eighteen," I point out. "We should celebrate our birthdays... do something nice."

"You gave me an awfully nice present this morning," he says with his brow raised behind his glasses.

"You get that present all the time," I mutter with my cheeks red and he smirks.

"I'm not complaining."

"You wouldn't," I counter and he squeezes my thigh.

"I don't hear any complaints from you either, lover," he says and I snort at the nickname.

"I like being close to you," I say honestly and he glances at me, like my sentence had made him pause. I grab his hand. "You're my favorite person."

He smiles again, a very sweet and gentle smile.

"I'm glad you think so," he says softly. "At least someone likes me." He bites the corner of his lip and I tilt my head when I see him make the gesture.

"What?" I ask as he taps his fingers against my knee.

"Will you say cock again?" he asks and I make a face that he laughs at.

"Shut up," I flick the back of his hand. "Stop making fun of me," I say with a pout that he smirks at. "Or I'll never touch it again."

"Touch what?" he teases and I make a face.

"Shut up," I repeat and he laughs.

I laugh too and then I blink a few times, feeling something odd in my eye. I fumble around with little mirror... sun blocker... thing that's attached to the ceiling and when I pull it down to see the mirror, a few photos fall on my lap.

I tilt my head as I pick them up.

There are three of them.

Two are of me and Draco that Daphne had taken during the school year. In one I was looking up at him in that stupid cheerleading outfit before a Quidditch game. In another... another I don't recall being taken... we were in the Great Hall and he was kissing my cheek. I bite the corner of my lip as I turn to the last one.

It's just of me smiling.

"You keep pictures of us in your car?" I say, my voice taking a kind of tone one would take when viewing a rather adorable puppy.

He glances at me and then to the photos. "Yes," he says like it wasn't a big deal and I feel my eyes water. "Are you crying?"

"No," I say, getting my stupid pregnant emotions under control. "This is just really sweet, Draco."

"I wouldn't go that far," he replies. "I didn't have any other place to put them."

"You're lying," I say and he smiles.

"You're right," he answers as he brings his hand up to pinch my cheek. "I am lying. I just like looking at them sometimes and I'm in this fucking muggle thing more than I would like," he admits, his voice still light and playful but I know... I know he's telling the truth.

I feel my eyes watering again... but I stomp it down... not before he notices, of course.

"All these tears...You're acting like I like you or something."

"You do like me," I say and he laughs. I put the pictures back in their hiding spot and then I take his hand, pressing my lips to his fingers. "And I like you too."

"Of course you do," he says with a smug smile as he runs his fingers down my face. "I'm your favorite person, remember?"

He puts his hand back on my thigh and I can't stop smiling like a fool.

I start to recognize some of the buildings we're passing and when we pull into a parking garage, I look at him again with my head tilted in thought.

"The aquarium?" I ask softly, another memory from my sixteenth birthday.

He nods.

"You do know that my parents donated a hell of a lot of money to have it opened," he says as he gets out and walks around to open my door. I take his hand when he offers it to me and he helps me out like a gentleman. "And my father owned the building. Now I own the building."

"Oh," I trail off as he takes my hand and starts walking us through the empty parking lot. "Did... I mean... what happened to all the animals?"

Since there was a war and all that.

"They're still in there," he admits. "It's closed to the public, but there were workers who stayed to help take care of them. The Death Eaters had more important things to do than attack an aquarium."

I nod my head and he takes out a key as we approach the large building.

"Besides," he adds and he unlocks one of the front doors. "The mermaids would go insane if they saw so much magic inside," he adds. "Remember that they were transported here and they don't actually know they're in an aquarium."

"I remember you saying that," I tell him as I put my hand on my back, my dress so tight it's almost painful to breathe.

"They're good fighters. If the Death Eaters made them realize where they were, they could probably kill everyone."

"We should have brought them with us to the battles," I say and he smiles at me before opening the door and motioning for me to go inside.

The building is completely dark and Draco turns on the lights with his wand. "The staff left for the day," he admits as he takes my hand.

"Why did you bring me here?" I ask him curiously as he puts his arm along my back, using his free hand to remove his sunglasses.

"Let me show you."

He leads me down the dark hallways where sea creatures swim past, illuminated by soft lights. I stop only a moment to admire them before being pulled on by Draco's insistent hand. There's a black door by the mermaid exhibit that he stops in front of and I move towards the glass to watch a few of them swim past while he unlocks the door.

They look as dreadful as I remember. Trapped in a cage, not realizing they're prisoners.

"Gin," he says to get my attention and when I look at him, he props open the door and makes a motion with his head. "Ladies first."

I smile a little and send one more look to the mermaids before taking the hand he offers me. The door leads down to a spiraling stair case that seems never ending, curling into the darkness deep underground. I hesitate a second when I feel a moment of fear.

"There are no monsters down there," he says against my ear to reassure me.

I nod my head. "It's just very dark," I admit as I take a timid step forward like the coward I am.

He laughs before lifting his wand and flicking a spell into the darkness. Torches blaze to life, lighting the way down with purple flames that lick against the stone walls. It makes me feel better and I look over my shoulder, giving Draco a thankful smile and kissing his cheek before making my way down.

The wrought iron stairway makes an awful clanking noise with each step and it seems to be held up by string. That doesn't put me at ease, but Draco does, and I'm grateful that he's walking so close behind.

"How far down is this?" I ask after a while as I keep my right hand white knuckled against the railing.

"Not too far," he admits.

Every once in a while, I can feel his hand brush the back of my dress, playing with the ribbon that ties around my middle with his clever fingers. I'm getting embarrassingly winded and I'm sweating when we finally reach the ground floor, only to find another locked door.

Draco takes out his keys and fumbles with a few of them before unlocking it and pushing it open. Candles burn with the that odd purple flame, showing a circular office. There's a black desk at the heart of the room and Draco goes towards it quickly as I walk about, admiring the artwork on the round walls.

They're all paintings of the ocean, some violent... some peaceful... but all of them are moving with magic. Dancing, and spinning and living.

Draco starts talking... about bonds and banks and inheritances as I reach out to touch one of the paintings, only half listening to him. I pull back quickly when lightening strikes in the foreground of the picture and I start chewing on my nails as Draco keeps talking.

This is the first time I've ever actually heard him talk about his finances and it's hard to keep track of all the business words he's spewing at me. There's a lot to keep up with when he starts talking about accounts and gold and properties and loop holes...

"Ginny," He snaps at me and I blink out of my thoughts to look at him. "Did you just hear what I said?"

I shake my head. "I'm sorry," I admit in a soft voice as I walk towards the desk and I put my hand on his shoulder. "What was it?"

"Now that my father is dead, I am the main beneficiary to the Malfoy Estates," he says as he pulls me to his lap.

He has papers stacked up on the desk and he runs his hand over them. I take off Draco's hat and place it nearby as I try to scan the pages to see what they say.

"All of the family assets are now in my name," he says as he picks up a green feathered quill. He dips it into an ink pot and initials some of the papers.

I sit back against his chest and chew on the corner of my lip until it bleeds.

"I think it's safe to assume that this is happening," he says, touching my stomach briefly with his chin grazing my shoulder. "I want you to sign this," he says as he pulls something from a drawer.

It's a stack of papers, like a contract, and he puts the quill in my right hand.

"What is it?" I whisper softly as I look it over, licking my lower lip to rid it of the blood.

It looks really familiar to me, but not in a good way.

"We're going to be a family very soon, Ginny," he says seriously rubbing my stomach again. "And there are still a few pockets of Death Eater's who refuse to surrender. This," he says, tapping the front of the contract. "Will make you the beneficiary of my inheritance in case something happens to me."

"Nothing is going to happen to you," I say worriedly and he nods his head.

"I know... just in case," he says. I lick my lips, trying to read the front page. "As of right now, I'm the last of the Malfoy name," he says and then he kisses the side of my neck. "Not for long."

To be honest, it looks a lot like the contract the Dark Lord had made me sign. It was written in English, but there were still some symbols I couldn't understand.

"Do we have to be married?" I ask gently as I turn to the second page. The second of one hundred it seems.

"This will bind you to me more," he admits, nodding to the contract. "The death of Voldemort has erased your bond with him," he says. "So my claim is still there," he adds.

He pulls a black box from his pocket, making me shift on his lap as he tries to get it.

"If you accept another heirloom from my family, it will solidify our bond once more. I already asked your father," he says and I give him a surprised look as he sets the black box in front of me. "And he agrees that it would be better if we were married."

I look at the box with something odd fluttering in my heart.

My father does like Draco now, and I know that my family would want me to be married before I had the baby. They were old fashioned in some aspects. Of course, my mom gave me a speech on doing what was best for me and trying to be happy... but even she admitted that Draco had surprised her. She was pleased with the young man he had grown up to be and if I truly loved him then she had nothing bad to say.

He won everyone over.

I pick up the box.

I want to ask him so many questions. What will happen to us once the Death Eaters are gone... what the plan will be once the world is set right... I want to ask him if he's sure he wants to do this with me even though he's told me a million time that he does.

He's being perfect about it and I turn the box in my fingers as I think about how sweet he is to me and how much I truly do love him.

I should jump at this chance. Why am I being so weird about it?

"You are taking a fucking long time," he says, his voice dropping to a dark place that makes me feel bad.

"I haven't been a very good girlfriend to you," I whisper as he runs his lips over my bare shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" he asks flatly and I glance at him.

"I've been so terrible... I've never trusted you, not once," I inhale a shaking breath. "I think it's because I'm so unsure of myself. It makes me do stupid things that hurt your feelings," I whisper as I think of what I did with Zabini.

"I can't pretend that I'm an easy person to be in a relationship with, Gin," he admits in a deep voice. "I like things to be a certain way and I put a lot of pressure on you."

"I've never been all into this relationship," I admit to him. "I always had one foot out the door because I think I just... I just thought that if you did do something wrong, then it would justify my feelings about it. I just think I never thought someone like you would like me."

"What does that mean?"

"It's just... you're so smart and good looking and you're a part of the well to do society that I had only read about in the papers. I love you," I tell him quickly so he doesn't get the wrong idea about what I'm saying. "I love you so much," I say as I turn in his lap so I can see him better. I put my arm around his shoulder to steady myself and he places his hand between my knees. "I think I just never understood why you loved me and I was always looking for a reason why you didn't."

"I love you," he says seriously I nod my head.

"I know," I open the black box and inside I find a beautiful ring of silver and diamonds. I pick it up and slip it on my ring finger. "I know," I tell him again as I lean forward to kiss him.

I put my hand on his neck to keep him there as I feel the magic run through my hand. It doesn't even bother me. When I finally pull back, I look over his face. He looks happy.

"I'm sorry," I tell him seriously. "I'm all in now."

He smiles a little and then he takes my hand, playing with the ring.

"This is my mother's ring," he tells me as he takes my left hand and lines it up with his. "You must never take it off."

"I won't," I whisper as I kiss his cheek. The thing is, Narcisssa Malfoy is still alive. "Doesn't she... Doesn't she want this ring?" I ask softly, not wanting to bring up painful memories of Lucius Malfoy's death.

"Not anymore," he says as he sighs, his breath ruffling my hair.

I nod my head and start flipping the contract until I reach the last page. I pick up the quill as Draco rubs my back.

"Don't you want to read it?" he asks as I put the quill to paper. "I can translate it for you."

I sign my name and date it. "If I can't trust you," I tell him as I lean in to kiss his lips. "Then I can't trust anyone."

He looks at me for a moment before grabbing my face and kissing me hard. The quill falls from my hand as I wrap my arms around his neck. I love the way he kisses and I prolong it as long as I can until he pulls back for air.

He watches my face as I try to catch my breath and he smiles as he runs his hand down my face.

"You are such a good girl, Ginny," he whispers before giving me a sweet little kiss on the side of my mouth.

He runs his thumb along my cheek.

"I do not want to be like my parents," he says and I furrow my brows.

"What do you mean?"

"My parents... they loved each other, but I don't know if my mother was actually in love with my father."

"How would you know that?" I ask with my brows raised, trying to figure out where this came from and where it will be going. I run my hand down his arm.

"She respected him, she was attracted to him, maybe she loved him at one time... but she didn't really love him like you love me," he smiles a little as his hand cups my face.

He gently runs his thumb over my lips, watching the progression like it turned him on.

It probably does.

"I don't know if he loved her that much either, to be honest. They were a good partnership, though. That's how we're brought up... to look for good partnerships. Love fades over the course of a few months... my father told me that. Look for benefits first... love is secondary if needed at all."

I put my hand on his neck and then I hold onto his earlobe.

"I don't know if he did... he probably did," he says to himself.

"What are you talking about?" I ask after a pause as I try to follow what he's talking about.

"My mother," he says, looking at me as my hand moves to thread into his hair. "She had affairs. A couple I knew about," he says and I frown. "My father knew, of course, but he didn't care as long as she was where she was supposed to be when he was home and that no one else knew about it. Maybe that's why she feels so guilty now."

I don't know what to say... so I don't say anything at all.

"I know he cheated too. He was hardly innocent," he adds with his brows up. "He always kept his mistresses in the upscale flats by Diagon Alley. When my mother found out, she nearly divorced him. Not because he had a mistress... but because he was doing it so closely to where she took me to shop for my school supplies. She hated the thought of running into one of his whores," he says and I nearly flinch at the word. "But that was it... she wasn't hurt or upset by him sleeping with another woman."

"That sounds... horrible," I say softly.

"It is horrible," he says darkly as he glares at the air in front of him. "I think the only thing they had in common was that they both loved me," he adds and I kiss his cheek again. "I refuse to live my life that way."

I don't say anything, I just keep on kissing him.

"I've never trusted anyone," he says as I run my lips over his jaw. "That's rule number one. You never trust another man with your life and you never trust a woman with your heart. Feelings just get in the way of logic."

"Love is a weakness in an ambitious man," I whisper and he nods his head.

"Exactly. Everyone knows that. It should be our family motto, actually,"

He looks at the table with his brows furrowed in thought. He looks so very serious and I kiss his cheek again.

"That's not normal, is it?" he says, smiling a little. "That's weird?"

"It's sad," I admit and that little smile he had on his face falls.

"Yeah," he nods his head, looking at the table again. "I guess it is."

"And not true," I offer. He flicks me a little look as I run my fingers through his hair.

"You would say that," he mutters softly. "You don't know any better."

"I know enough," I tell him seriously and he nods.

Then he looks at me again and studies my face before pressing a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"Of course you do, sweetheart."

I pull away with a head shake. "I hate it when you do that."

"Do what?" he asks curiously, like he really didn't realize how he just spoke to me.

"Talk to me like that. Like I'm stupid."

"I don't think you're stupid."

"But you talk to me like I'm a toddler sometimes. I know I'm not clever like you, but you don't have to patronize me."

I go to pull away, but he stops me.

"I didn't realize that I was doing it," he admits. "I'm sorry." I nod in acceptance and he watches my profile. "You are pretty clever, you know," he says after a little pause. "You have done many brilliant things this year."

I snort at the thought. "That's hardly true."

"Most of your family members owe you their lives. If you hadn't had the forethought to take those souls when you had the chance, there would be a good chance they could have been dead or worse by the time the battle of Hogwarts started."

I open my mouth to respond, but he cuts me off.

"Mr. Lovegood is back to writing that ridiculous publication with his daughter because of all the money you gave to get him out of prison."

I think of Luna and her father with his printing press, spreading rumors mixed with truths about the resistance.

"You poisoned the Dark Lord and killed his snake. His magic was weakened because of it. We never would have defeated his army if he was at his full power. That was all your doing. No one told you that and you've done a million other brave things."

I don't say anything to that. I just look at my lap.

"I trust you," he says and it was the first time I think I've ever heard him say that. "I don't want to be like my father and I don't want you to be like my mother. You understand that I won't accept that, right? You will not be having any affairs and I will not be complacent with a glorified friendship. I will require that you love me and you will never share those feelings with anyone else."

"I wouldn't do that," I whisper and then I start thinking of Tom and his force and I recoil at the memory.

Stop thinking about it.

"I'm serious, Ginny," he says and when I look at him, he flicks his eyes to mine. "I'm dead serious. This is it. This is the way it's going to be."

I nod my head, trying to ignore the uncomfortable turn in my body.

"Yes," I say, running my knuckles over his cheek. "I know."

I know.

"You don't have to bully me into this," I admit because I hate it when he uses that tone of voice. When he says those kinds of things in a this is how it's going to be and you have no say in that matter way. "I want that as much as you do. You don't have to make is seem like I don't have any other options."

"You don't," he replies flatly and I roll my eyes because he missed my point.

I kiss him again, even though what he just said was actually a little ridiculous... I couldn't laugh at him. Not when he was looking so serious. I feel like something just tightened on my chest... like a belt that was put one notch too tight.

I try to ignore the feeling.

"I didn't know any of that about your parents," I whisper with my lips still against his. It does seem like a terrible thing for a boy to know about their Mom and Dad. "It won't be that way with us, Draco," I tell him, pressing another kiss to his lips to reassure him. "I won't be that way... You won't be that way. When this is all over... we'll be happy. We'll be happy, I promise."

He smiles against my lips and deepens the kiss.

As he's kissing me, he pulls a key from his pocket. He dangles it in front of my face when I pull back to catch my breath and I let my eyes focus on it. It's gold and has a blue ribbon tied around the looped end.

"I have something else to show you," he says as he urges me to stand up.

I get to my feet and then follow him to one of the candle holders attached to wall. He puts the key into a keyhole I didn't even see and then the round walls start spinning. Spinning and spinning until an opening appears.

It's completely black inside, and Draco takes my hand as he lifts his wand to ignite the torches.

I let my jaw drop in awe as the hidden room glitters and sparkles against the fire light. The room is impossibly big... tall and long and full of so much gold and silver I can't even... I feel a little sick, actually... I think Draco sees it because he puts his arm around me to keep my knees from buckling.

"This is just half of it," he says lightly as he looks around. There are jewels and armor and paintings and statues... and piles of gold."The rest is hidden at another location in France," he admits and then he smiles at me. "And this..." he hands me that key with the blue ribbons. "Is yours now as well."

"I...I..."I actually feel like I might faint. There is too much in this room... too much wealth. "I can't," I say as I try to push the key back to him. "I can't take this."

"Ginny," he says flatly as he steps in front of me, blocking my view of the dazzling room. "Malfoy's are rich. That's just the way it is," he says as he presses the key to my hand. "You never will want for anything again. What's mine is yours now and I have a lot to give."

I just stare at him for a while and then inhale a very deep breath.

"I don't have anything to offer you," I tell him honestly. "I don't. I don't have any money... I don't have any ancient family heirlooms... or anything. I don't have anything."

"You've already given me everything that I need," he says as he cups my face in his hands. "I just need you... that's all. Just Ginny," he adds with a little smile before kissing me.

Just Ginny.

I lean against a wall as he deepens the kiss and put my hand down... but I end up touching something sharp.

"Ouch," I hiss and Draco pulls back quickly as I cradle my hand to my chest.

"What is it?" he asks seriously as he takes my hand to inspect the damage.

"That thing," I snap, glaring down at some gold spiky thing beside me. "Hurt me."

"You're bleeding," he whispers as he looks at the blood beading at the tip of my finger.

Blood is what binds us.

"Poor baby," he smiles at me before kissing my finger, licking the blood away with his tongue.

Blood is the most important thing.

Blood.

Didn't Draco take my blood? I gently pull my hand back and give him an uncomfortable smile.

We only stay at the aquarium for a half hour, and Draco lets me take one last look at all the animals before we lock up for the night and go back to the car. He buckles me in like I was a child again and I stare at the beautiful ring on my finger, feeling a very warm and very girly feeling overtake my senses as we drive.

A wide grin graces my face the more I look at it.

I can't wait to show this to people... even if they won't really like it... like Hermione, but now I feel like gushing about it. I am sure Daphne will gush with me. I should show it to her first. It looks really good on my hand... the sun hits it just right... It's just so beautiful.

"What are you smiling about?"

"I'm just happy," I admit as I hold out my hand so the sun can catch the diamonds. "This is just lovely."

He touches my earlobe and when I look at him, he smiles.

"I'm glad," he says before going facing the road again.

I look back to the ring on my hand and then I let my eyes drift to the tip of my pointer finger where that small cut is.

"Draco," I say as I lick my lips, turning my hand so I can see the ring from a different angle. "What did you do with my blood?"

"What?" he asks as he turns left down a heavily populated road.

"My blood... you took it, remember?" I add. "You said it would help you kill the Dark Lord or something."

"Oh," he says as I remember the needle in my arm... I remember him keeping the vial of my blood and I don't remember him using it. "It turned out I didn't really need it after all," he says.

I study his profile when he puts his hand on my thigh. He's wearing the hat now and it looks impossibly good on him...

Maybe it's because I've grown up since this time last year... maybe it's because I've been around Draco and the Dark Lord far longer than it should... Maybe it's because I'm just not as naïve as I used to be but I know... I know that's not the truth.

I know that he's lying.

He's lying to me.

I look out the window with my brows furrowed in thought as his fingers dance along the inside of my thigh. I did tell him I was all in now...

I just have to figure out what that means to me.

"... And then there was this huge explosion and we went flying."

Ron makes a motion with his hand to show me and I give him a tight lipped smile as we walk around the gardens behind the hotel. Harry is with us and he has his hands stuffed into his jeans as Ron rambles on about the fight.

He's been talking about it for the last half hour.

He likes talking about battles. Harry doesn't like to talk at all.

"And then this guy came running towards me and Harry," he pushes Harry's arm with his elbow and Harry nods his head. "Harry came up behind him with his wand and shot a curse right at his chest. It was brilliant. The best thing I've ever seen."

"It sounds nice," I say and then I make a face because it didn't sound nice at all.

"Harry is such a great dueler. I don't think you've seen him in action, Gin," he says and I nod my head, glancing at Harry as he looks at the ground. "You'd be blown away."

"I'm sure," I answer and then I look at Harry again. "He's great at everything," I say and his cheeks blush.

"That's not true," Harry says seriously.

"Have you seen him dance?" Ron laughs as he punches Harry's arm. "He is bloody terrible at that."

"You're one to talk about dancing," Harry counters and Ron's ears turn red.

I smile a little and then Ron spots Hermione coming out of one of the back doors. He waves her down and then looks at me. "I've got to go," he says as he gives me a grin. "Hermione is taking me to a movie theater. They say that the screen is as big as a wall!"

He takes off running, leaving Harry and I to ourselves.

I put my hand on my back and try to shift my legs as an uncomfortable silence falls between us. "I'm sorry, Harry," I tell him as I spot a bench near by. "But I have to sit down."

I take a seat and Harry sits down beside me quickly.

"Ron talks a lot," he says after a few moments and I nod my head as I sit back with my hand rubbing my stomach. "I'd rather not remember any of that, but it seems to be all he can talk about."

"I've noticed," I reply as he puts his hands on his knees.

My feet hurt... so I slip off my sandals and let my heels rest in the cool grass. I think that my feet are changing sizes... That or they're swollen all the time because nothing I own seems to fit properly. I didn't expect the betrayal from my faithful footwear and it pisses me off.

I'm so engrossed by my thoughts of my changing body, that I totally forget about Harry... That is until he coughs to get my attention and I pull my thoughts away from my stupid feet to find him staring at me.

"Where's Malfoy?" he asks. "I don't think I've seen you without him since we've been here."

"He's inside," I say nodding to the hotel. "He's reading," I add with an eye roll.

I kept trying to talk to him this morning and he kept snapping at me because he was reading the Daily Prophet and I was bothering him. He even called me irritating and told me to go find something to do with myself.

Because he's lovely.

"Oh," he says as he scratches his forehead. "That sounds exciting," he says sarcastically and I give a little laugh that he smiles at.

"Draco is all kinds of fun," I joke and now it's Harry's turn to laugh a little.

I put my hand on the key I keep on a gold chain around my neck and I start playing with it. I had no idea what else to do with it, to be honest. What does one do with a key that can unlock half a Malfoy fortune? Keep it close. That's all I could do because I know with my luck I would probably lose it.

When we hear a giggle, we both turn towards the noise. Daphne is running through the garden in a revealing two piece swim suit that's a strong wind away from being indecent. Her hair is wet and her body is dripping from the pool. George is close behind, chasing her in swim trunks and bare feet.

They're both laughing loudly like it was all great fun.

I can barely hide my displeasure when George catches up with her, grabbing her around the middle and tossing her in the air. She squeals in delight and then he throws her over his shoulder like a cave man so he can carry her back to the pool.

There they are, having the time of their lives, and here am I... barefoot and pregnant with a boyfriend who is thoroughly annoyed with me.

How unfair life is.

"I know it shouldn't bother me, but I feel completely disgusted when I see other people acting so happy," I admit as I tug on my necklace a little too hard and Harry laughs. "Especially them."

I don't know why. I have nothing against Daphne dating my brother... but maybe I do... maybe because I know Daphne has been around the block a few times... but I also know that George can hold his own...

I just don't like it.

Maybe because I'm jealous that their relationship seems so simple, but that's a secret thought that I barely allow to surface.

"I know exactly what you mean," Harry commiserates with me and I'm grateful. "There are all kinds of weird pairings that the war brought about," he adds, only to be drowned out by a splash and another obnoxious giggle.

Ugh.

"Yeah," I agree. The baby kicks like he just wanted to remind me that I would never be carefree again and I sigh loudly."I just never saw that one coming."

"I didn't see a lot of things coming," Harry says gently as his eyes flick to the ring on my finger... To Draco's claim that shines brightly in the sun for anyone to see.

I don't bother responding to that and another silence falls between us as we both get lost in our own bitter thoughts.

"We could go too, you know," he says and when I look at him in question, he's quick to explain. "To the movie theater... I mean... It's only a block or two away. I have some muggle money if you want to go."

"I do like movies," I admit. I like that I can lose myself in them for a couple hours and not have to think for myself. "Do we have to like... find out what's playing or something?" I ask, unsure about how it would work.

He shrugs. "I'm sure there will be something we can watch."

"Okay," I nod my head. It would be nice to get away... especially if Daphne and George insist on flirting so loudly the whole hotel knows them by name. "That sounds like fun," I tell him with a smile and then my smile falters when I think of Draco. "I should ask Draco."

"If you can go?" he snaps, his voice taking on a bitter edge that I don't like.

"No, if he wants to go too," I explain as I struggle to my feet. "Would that be alright?"

"If he wants to come, he can... but I'm not paying for his ticket."

"I doubt he would want that either," I snap before exhaling slowly and slipping on my shoes. "Just give me a second. I'll go ask."

He doesn't say anything, he just makes a face as I go back into the hotel. I use the elevator to get to the thirteenth floor and when I get to my room, Draco is sitting on the bed... with the paper strewn about him. He hovers over the pages with his brows furrowed and a pen in his hand.

Right where I left him.

"Hey," I say, but he doesn't look up. "Are you looking for a job?" I joke but it falls on flat ears.

He completely ignores me until I try again.

"Do you want to take a break from that for a little while, babe?" I ask in a louder voice.

"I told you I was busy," he says flatly as he turns one of the pages.

I swallow my bitter response and walk further into the room. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I offer because he's been at it all day, but he shakes his head. "What are you doing exactly?" I ask and he rubs his eyes.

"I'm trying to figure out who I need to get close to next," he says, holding up a paper that has a photo of four wizengamot members on it. He taps a photo of a man with long white hair tied back in a pony tail with the end of his pen. "One of these men will take my father's seat at the tribunal and I have to figure out which one I want to put my name behind."

"Oh..." I say because I'm stupid and I give him a smile when I think of Hermione's words.

She's wrong of course, but there was some good advice sprinkled in there...We are going to have a child together, after all. He's going to be a Dad... and I'm going to be a Mom... as wild as that thought is, I can't help but want to find some common ground with him. I don't want us to be so conflicted with our beliefs if we're going to be a family soon.

I'm willing to give in a little to meet him in the middle if he is too.

Love is a partnership.

"Is there... Is there anything I can help you with?" I ask as I walk further into the room and stop when I'm by the bed to look over his shoulder.

"Just keep being pretty," he says, looking back at his papers and dismissing me as he writes something down. "That's all I need from you."

"Draco," I sigh, almost offended by his off color compliment. "I'm not useless, you know," I tell him as I reach out to touch his shoulder, squeezing gently in affection. "We're in this together, aren't we?"

"Are we?" he asks me, breaking away from his paper to give me a look. "Gin, you don't believe the same things I do. I don't want to pull you into something that is just going to make you mad at me."

I frown at that and sit beside him.

"You've never taken the time to explain your thoughts to me," I admit softly because I don't want us to be so different. Not now when we're so entwined with one another. Not now when I'm in it for the long run. "I know you're not like him," I say gently. "You're not like Tom..."

"The Dark Lord was a mad man," he admits. "And a half-blood who had no business trying to rule our society... but with this war, I've been fighting against my own interests," he says, narrowing his eyes as he looks back at the paper. "Our interests," he corrects himself as he reaches out to touch my stomach. "The people who are in charge now do not share my politics and I did not work this hard to live life under their rules."

"How are they different?" I ask. I look into his eyes and I put my hand over his.

"Honestly, there are a lot of things and not all of them include muggle/magical relations," he says as he pulls his hand back to reach for the paper again. "But I'm really busy right now, sweetheart. We can talk about it later, yeah?"

I nod my head. "Yeah..." I trail off until I remember why I came up here in the first place. Poor Harry. I'm always making him wait. "I know you're busy," I tell him and he flicks me a little look again. "But do you want to take a break and go to a movie theater with me? A cinema?"

"What?" he asks flatly.

I can just feel the enthusiasm.

"There's a place that plays movies," I tell him with a little smile as I reach out to touch him again, wanting him to come and enjoy something with me. "They have TV screens the size of a whole wall," I repeat Ron's words with a tender smile. "Do you want to come with me? I think it would be fun."

"No," he says before going back to the paper. I stop smiling then I nod my head. Of course he wouldn't want to go. It was silly of me to even ask. I go to get up, but he grabs my wrist. "You're not going by yourself."

"I'm not," I tell him with a frown. "Other people are going too."

He puts the paper down. "Who are you going with?"

My first instinct is to lie to him, but I know that's not right. There's no reason to lie.

"Harry," I say and when I see that look get into his eyes, I'm quick to cover. "I mean. I think Ron and Hermione are going to be at the same cinema."

"So, it's a double date?"

I give him a look. "It's not like that. I invited you, didn't I?"

"Knowing I would say no." He makes a face and lets go of my wrist. "I don't think so, Ginny," he says darkly. "You're not going to some muggle bullshit without me."

"But you don't want to go."

"Exactly," he says flatly. "So you're not going either."

Love is not a dictatorship.

"I just came up to ask if you wanted to come with me. I didn't come to ask your permission."

"Funny how that turned around on you."

I shake my head after he stares me down and then with an angry jolt, I walk towards the door.

"Ginny," he snaps and I look over my shoulder. "I said no."

"You're not my father," I tell him sharply. "I don't need to ask you for this kind of thing."

He stands up to tower over me which is a very effective Draco arguing tactic because he's so freaking tall.

"You can watch a movie in here," he says, motioning to the television. "It's bad enough we're staying at this fucking muggle hotel where we can't do magic. I don't need you any more integrated into their culture than need be."

Sometimes I forget how much he dislikes muggles. That's just another thing that divides us...

"Babe," I sigh to get him to see reason so I'm not automatically going on the defensive. "You're not being reasonable..."

"Sit down." He actually snaps his finger and points to the couch.

That does it. I'm officially angry and I give him a hateful look for treating me like a dog.

"I'll see you when I get back," I tell him condescendingly.

I go to open the door, but a spell shoots past my shoulder and slams it shut. I inhale a surprised breath and then I look over my shoulder with my brows up in disbelief.

"You aren't allowed to do magic here!" I shout. I turn to face him with my hands clenched into fists.

"You heard me. I said no," he answers as he tucks the wand in his pocket. "I have plenty of places we could stay. The only reason we're here is because your parents thought that this was the best idea and I wanted you to be around your loved ones," he says as he walks towards me, acting like he's the final say in all my life decisions. "I did not come here just so you could go skipping around acting like a muggle with Harry Potter."

I inhale an angry breath before leveling him with a hateful glare. "What's wrong with you?" I snap harshly as he narrows his eyes. "You go all over the place without me and I never tell you what you can and can't do."

He stares me down like his glares would convince me to just obey him like a mindless puppet.

"You're only doing this because I haven't been paying much attention to you today," he says and my temper flares again because he's talking to me like I'm some senseless child. "Well, you have my attention now. You can sit over there," he says, nodding to the couch in front the television. "I'll be done here soon and then we'll talk about whatever you want."

"Wanting to go to the movies isn't a ploy to hurt or get back at you for not paying attention to me," I snap in disbelief. "I could have gone without even telling you about it and you would have never known!"

"Trust me," he says darkly. "I would have found out and you would not have liked that."

I shake my head and then turn back to the door to twist it open. He slams it shut with his hand by my face and I swallow hard. My anger so thick I can taste it.

"Stop it," I say flatly as I glare at the wood grain.

"Sit down on the goddamn couch," he says as I glare at his hand.

I will not be told what to do. Not like this. Not for this. Not even from him. Especially not from him.

"We're a couple, Ginny," he keeps talking as I glare at the door. "You can't just go around doing whatever the hell you want."

I know what he's doing. I can tell... I can see it. He's going to try to twist this. He's going to try to make this into something it's not. He's going to turn this around on me until I'm the one apologizing.

"Do you realize how easy it would be for someone to pick you up outside of the hotel? There is no magic in this town, no wards to keep you safe, and you want to go out in public with Harry Potter of all people."

I shake my head, wanting him to stop talking

"Listen," he says with a sigh as he runs his hand up my arm. "After all this blows over, I will be better to you," he says gently. "We'll go places. We'll travel and I will show you how amazing our world can be. I'll take you to shows, and plays, and concerts, and great restaurants... You don't need to do this muggle stuff. You don't even know your own culture, sweetheart," he adds a kiss to my shoulder like he was trying to coax me into agreeing with him. "Maybe that's why you don't understand my position. I will show you. I will show you very soon, but for now we just have to lay low and stay together."

"I don't understand why you're doing this," I whisper, refusing to face him after the stupid thing he just said. "You said you trusted me... Were you just saying that? Why would you say that if you don't mean it? Why would you say that if you don't practice it?"

There's a heavy pause and I can feel him staring at me.

"I've had my moments," I admit. "But you've never trusted me no matter what you say," I add spitefully. I finally turn around to face him, but he doesn't even move back. He's standing too close to me. "It shouldn't be like this. You shouldn't hold all the cards all the time. I shouldn't let you."

He stares me down and I shake my head.

"You know, Harry knew you were going to do this. He even mentioned it when I said I was going to come up to talk to you. Everyone knows how demanding you are. They think you're too controlling."

"Do they now?" he says with his brows raised. "Who told you that?"

"Everybody!" I snap.

"I doubt everybody told you that," he says sharply. "There is not enough time in the day for everyone to say that to you."

"Everyone who matters," I say and he laughs."Don't laugh. This isn't funny. I agree with them, you know. You are too controlling and I just let you because I love you so much."

"You need my control, Ginny," he snaps at me, leveling me with a steely eyed glare. "Without it, you make stupid fucking decisions."

That hurts me, so I retract like it was a direct hit to the face. He exhales slowly after a moment like he knew he went too far and I resist hitting him even though I want to. He pinches the bridge of his nose, stepping back to give me room to breathe.

"I should have worded that better," he admits softly, like if he used that gentle voice I would automatically forgive him.

"I won't let you be such a manipulative jerk to me anymore." I say in a deadly voice that I adopted from him.

The conviction in my tone must surprise him because he doesn't say anything for a few moments.

Good.

Then his anger comes like a wave crashing against land.

"I'm the manipulative jerk?" he snaps after getting over the initial shock of my emotions. "You manipulate me all the fucking time."

"I do not," I hiss with my arms crossed.

"You're fucking doing it now, aren't you? Pouting around until you get your way. Don't act like you're above it. All you do is toy with my emotions."

"That is not true!" I yell like a mad person and he shakes his head. "I just want to go to the movies with my friend! There is no reason for this fight!"

"Are you going to start crying now?" he asks with a sharp brow raised. He pretends to check his watch and he taps the face. "Right about now is the time during the fight when you start crying to make me feel bad."

"I don't cry to make you feel bad!"

"You don't?" he says sarcastically. "I highly doubt that."

"I cry because I feel bad, you insensitive prick!" I stand straight and tighten my fists by my sides. "I am my own person, you know," I tell him harshly. "You're just upset that I'm not around all of your friends who'll just stuff your agenda down my throat. I can do what I want without your approval and I'm not an idiot. I can make my own decisions."

"My agenda?" he says harshly. "I've been with Order members for half the year. You don't think I've had that agenda stuffed down my throat? Trust me, it's much more disgusting coming from your family members."

"What does that mean?" I ask sharply.

He steps back and rubs his right eye. "Never mind."

"No, what did that mean?" I ask seriously as I take a step closer to him. "You think my family is disgusting?"

"I didn't fucking say that. Don't tell me that I said something I didn't say. This is another thing you do," he snaps. "You twist my fucking words around."

"Then what did you say?"

"I'm saying, you aren't the only one being fed someone else's beliefs. Let's just leave it at that."

I turn back to the door and I hesitate a second as I decide what I want to do. How embarrassing would it be to explain this to Harry? He knows how Draco is anyways... maybe I should just go anyways, but then Draco would be so mad at me...

But I feel like that's why I have to go.

I don't need his control. It's not like this is a life or death situation... Draco is just being... just being a tyrant.

Like Tom.

I shake my head. No, he's not winning this fight. I put my hand on the door knob so I can finally leave, but he grabs my arm. I nearly start crying in frustration, but I shake them away and decide to focus those angry tears on actual anger.

"Draco, stop."

He presses his body into my back and I clench my eyes shut.

"Don't," I tell him flatly as I shake him off. "Stop touching me!" I shout to get him to leave me alone, but of course he doesn't because he's Draco and Draco never leaves me alone when I want to get away from him.

"Wait," he says as I try to push him away. "Just wait," he snaps and I glare over my shoulder.

He glares right back before his eyes soften and he looks away for a moment, finally letting go of my arm.

"You're right. I am being unfair," he admits, and it sounds like it's hard for him to say. "I get these notions in my head and it's very hard for me to shake them." I don't respond and he steps away. "I try not to have those thoughts about you... I can't help but feel like one day, if I'm not paying attention, you are going to stab me in the back."

"I wouldn't-"

"I know," he cuts me off before I can even finish and he reaches into his pocket. "I know," he repeats as he takes out his wallet. "I can be awful to you sometimes."

"What are you doing?" I ask him as he pulls out a few muggle bills.

"It's only a couple hours, right?" he says flatly as he hands them to me. "That's all."

"What is this?"

"It's money," he says like I was stupid and I clench my jaw.

"I know that, but..."

"I'm sorry," he says gently, like he meant it and I frown because I don't know what game he's playing. "I..." he trails off for a moment and I raise a brow in surprise. "I shouldn't tell you what to do," he says and I feel the fire that had inflamed my heart slowly start to extinguish because of the way he's looking at me. "I can't help but want to," he adds coldly. "It's just the way I've always been. You can't imagine what goes through my head."

He brings his hand up and runs his knuckles down my cheek.

"Go, have fun, and then come back to me," he says seriously.

I feel like I should be thankful... but then... then doesn't that mean he won again? Is this just another spin to manipulate me? I should trust Draco... I shouldn't have these thoughts, and I put my hand over his as I try to get them out of my mind.

"But I don't want to hear about how great it was or how funny Harry Potter is. Is that understood?"

"Harry has money," I say gently, my anger all but gone now, and Draco raises an eyebrow.

"That's not happening," he says harshly. "He's not fucking paying. I do have my limits."

I don't say anything for a moment and then I nod my head, looking down at the muggle money before flicking him a little glance.

"You have no reason to worry," I tell him gently, moving my hand out to touch his chest. "Trust me," I say softly, running my fingers down until they teeter off by his belt.

He nods. A quick and sharp nod that gives away his doubt.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" I add, wanting to give him a chance to be involved again.

"No," he says flatly as he goes back to the bed... back to the paper. "I do not."

"Okay," I say, almost smiling when I see him plop down on the mattress like a pouting child. "I'll see you when I get back..." I add quickly.

He waves me off as he goes back to his papers.

When I get back downstairs, Harry is leaning against the wall. "Jesus," he says when he sees me. "I was going to send out a search party for you."

"Sorry," I tell him with Draco's money just kind of clutched awkwardly in my hand.

"Malfoy not coming?" he says when he notices Draco isn't with me and I shake my head. "Not surprising," he mutters under his breath.

"He's busy," I cover and he nods his head, accepting my answer but not believing it.

I can tell by the way he's looking at me that he doesn't, but I don't bother pushing it because my emotions are still raw from the fight and I fear if I try to explain it, I just might cry.

"You ready to head out?"

I nod my head and follow him down the stairs to go outside. "You do know where this is, right?" I say when we get outside the building. I don't know my way around muggle cities and the thought is almost scary to me.

There's too much noise, too many machines... too many things that can go wrong because magic isn't there to fix it.

"Of course," he answers to reassure me. "You better put that money in your pocket or something," he says we make our way down the sidewalk. "You are just begging for someone to mug you."

"They would mug a pregnant woman?" I joke and he smirks.

"That means you just can't run as fast."

I laugh a little and stuff the paper money in the front of the shirt... thing... that I'm wearing. It's a maternity shirt that my Mom got me from the department store across the street. It's a weird floral printed fabric in pink and green that kind of resembles a brightly colored tent. Draco made a face when I first put it on and Daphne said 'oh honey' like I was some poor orphan in a third world country who was wearing the only thing available to me.

But it's comfortable... and it fits.

"Are you happy?" Harry asks after a while, cutting off a rather exciting conversation about the weather.

"I am," I say with a smile. "I do like movies..."

"No, I meant... are you happy. Like in general..."

I shrug. "I'm grateful to be alive," I admit as I think about Draco and how rough we still are with one another at times. "I'm grateful that people that I love have survived this."

"Yeah, me too," he says with a head nod.

"I mean... who could be happy after all this?" I ask seriously as we walk. "I mean... things make me happy but there's this..."

"Thing always in the back of your mind," Harry finishes for me and I nod my head.

"Yeah, like a shadow that kind of creeps up on me when I'm not expecting it," I add as I kick a pebble with my shoe. "It makes me feel bad."

"I've felt that all my life," he says softly and I glance at him. "I thought it would stop... when he was finally dead, but it's still there. It's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"I understand," I tell him and he gives me a sad little smile that clenches my heart.

We cross the street and start down a busier block where muggles come out of the buildings with shopping bags.

"I think my shirt is blinding people," I mutter as I pass by a woman who gives me a double take. "That or it's because I'm so huge."

"I doubt that," he says smiling a little. "You're not that huge."

"You're not off the hook either," I tell him as we pass by two old women who look at my stomach before whispering about me behind their hands. "They probably think you're my baby daddy."

He snorts. "You have been watching a lot of muggle telly," he says with a handsome grin.

I laugh a little too when I realize he's right.

When we get to the theater, we decide on some animated show with talking animals. It's funny and kind of clever... even if the theater is full of children eating popcorn and snacks. I only had to go to the bathroom two times which was good considering how bad I've been with it lately.

Being pregnant is awful.

At the end of the movie, all the animals work together to help save the farm and I feel my eyes stinging with tears because of how nice it is.

"Are you okay?" Harry whispers when I sniff loudly.

I nod my head. My hormones are ridiculous and they embarrass me.

"Are you sure?" he asks and I nod again, wanting him to stop looking at me. "Ginny," he whispers after I violently wipe my eyes, trying to stop crying over the stupid pigs and fake horses.

When I look at him, he brings a hand up and helps me wipe some tears away. I just stare at him, looking into his emerald eyes as they skip over my face.

"Maybe we should have picked a less heavy movie?" He says and I nearly laugh.

"It was a cartoon about animals. I don't think you get any lighter than that," I reply and he smiles again.

Then I realize how close we are, so I back away quickly. "We should go back," I say as I stand up. The credits are rolling and my face feels hot.

Harry leads the way out of the cinema and I follow behind, wiping my red eyes with the back of my hand like a freak and hoping no one else sees me. When we get outside, the sun is still shining brightly and I narrow my eyes. Harry takes out his sunglasses and then hands them to me.

"Here," he says, placing them in my hands.

"No..."

"Just take them," he says, refusing to take the glasses back. "It's too sunny and I can't see properly when I wear them anyways. They're not prescription."

I hesitate a second before putting them on. "Thanks," I say, feeling something warm settle on my chest. If there was an alternate reality, I think Harry and I would have made a very good couple. "You're very nice."

"I know," he says, like it pained him. "And it doesn't exactly get me anywhere."

"It will pay off one day," I tell him as I push the glasses further up my nose. "I think the world needs more nice guys," I admit as I think of Draco and how not nice he is.

"Yeah," he says with a sigh as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "That's what everyone says."

I snort because I've never heard anyone actually say that but I suppose he's right. Guys like Draco always win and guys like Harry, who deserve nothing but happiness, always seem to come up short.

I try not to think about it too much.

Traffic is heavy on the road and the heat is making me sweat. I hate sweating and, with the sun glaring down at us, the hike back to the hotel seems like an epic journey. Harry and I walk the rest of the way in silence and I stay stuck in my own thoughts about my future and hating humidity for all that it is.

"Watch out," Harry throws his arm in front of me and I nearly fall back when a motorbikes cuts in front of us on the sidewalk, blocking our path.

I feel instant panic when I see the rider in all black and I have flashes of Death Eaters and deadly curses that snap bones clean in half. Harry slides in front of me and takes out his wand, ready to fight and defend me as I ball my hands into fists. Muggles scream and jump out of the way as the rider puts the stand down and takes off the helmet.

When I see Blaise Zabini climb off the bike, I'm not sure if I'm relieved or pissed off to see him.

"Zabini," Harry says sharply as he pockets his wand. "You can't just park on the sidewalk," he scolds, sounding upset and little bit relieved as well.

My feelings exactly.

I push Harry's sunglasses up to the top of my head and I narrow my eyes as Zabini smirks at us with a shrug.

"Where are you kids going looking so happy?" Blaise asks curiously. He looks in between me and Harry with a grin on his face as he puts his riding helmet in the crook of his leather clad arm.

I bet he's really hot in that leather jacket and the thought of him being so uncomfortable pleases me.

"Quite the pair you two make," he adds, looking at me again like he caught me cheating.

I take a step away from Harry like I thought Zabini would run back and tell Draco.

He probably would, the bastard.

"What are you doing?" I ask sharply, tugging down my brightly colored shirt and glaring at him. "You nearly killed us."

"Hardly," he laughs as he rests his foot on the bike. His jeans are way too tight and I stare at his crotch one moment longer than I should because he notices and he actually laughs.

I turn away quickly and blush, putting Harry's sunglasses on once more to shield my wondering eyes.

"Is that Draco's?" I ask. I look at the familiar motorbike behind him as I try to divert from my embarrassment.

"You look very muggle today, Weasley," he ignores my question as he looks me over, eying my loud t-shirt with a hateful sneer curling his face. "I believe my Grandmother had a couch like that once."

"Shut up," I mutter as I pull on the shirt again. "I know it's bad."

"Where were you headed?" he asks curiously, flicking his eyes to Harry Potter once more.

"I really don't think that's any of your business, Zabini," Harry tells him seriously.

"Maybe not," Zabini replies with a smirk. "But I am a nosy fucker none the less and you nearly look happy, Potter," he jokes. "He is such a glum bastard, isn't he, Gin?"

I really don't like that he called me that and I crinkle my nose at the thought of him trying to give me a nickname.

"What do you want, Blaise?" I ask softly. "Did you need something?" I ask because he wouldn't just go out of his way to chit chat with me and Harry.

Or at least, I hope not.

"Not really," he says with a shrug as he pulls something from inside his jacket. It's a rolled up piece of parchment on blue paper. "I do have a message for Potter, though," he says as he goes to hand the parchment to Harry, but he pulls back right when Harry is ready to take it. "Where were you two coming from?" he asks, tapping the message against his lips as he looks me over. "I doubt Draco was okay with this."

"What does it matter to you?" I ask and he smiles. "Or Draco," I mutter to myself as I look away.

"Just curious," he says with shrug. "It looks like the whole Ginny needs another man in her life spot was taken away from me."

I blush hard and narrow my eyes as Harry blinks at that answer.

"Shut up," I hiss and Zabini laughs.

He laughs and he laughs.

Harry snatches the message and he reads it as Zabini smiles at me with a snicker still on his lips.

"I'm sorry," Harry says as he stuffs the message in his pocket and I give him an odd look because his voice sounds so intense. "I have to go see Kingsley."

Kingsley is one of the early leaders of the Order and his main job is to gather intelligence for up coming missions. When he writes, you know something big is about to happen.

"Okay? What is it?" I ask with a frown because he looks so uncomfortable.

"I'll tell you when I get back."

Then he runs off before I can say anything else. I frown at his back as he jogs across the street to get to a safe App Zone and I put a hand on my hip when he disappears around the corner. It leaves me alone with Blaise and I flick him a little glance as he looks as pleased as can be.

"What did that message say?" I ask and Blaise shrugs. "You don't know?"

"No, I do," he answers pleasantly. "I just don't want to tell you." I make a face that he laughs at. "Don't frown... we're not an item anymore, remember? You can't just get away with hurting my feelings and still reap the rewards of my friendship."

"Do you even have feelings?" I ask.

"Why do you say such mean things to me?" he asks and I shake my head before walking past him and that freaking motorbike.

I keep walking and he rolls the bike, falling in step beside me as people glare at him and hop out of the way.

"Stop following me."

"My God, you're full of yourself," he says with a smirk. "You aren't the only person in the world and last time I checked, you didn't own this particular sidewalk."

"You're bothering me."

"Of course I am," he says and I spare him a harsh little look. "Queen Ginny must only see people by appointment."

"Shut up, Zabini," I hiss, stopping fully to glare at him with my hands on my back. "What do you want?"

"You're a bitch, did you know that?" he asks flatly and I feel a fire in my heart as I clench my fists at my side. "I could see you from a mile away, you know," he says as he follows me when I decide to get away from him again. "What you're wearing is atrocious."

"Do you enjoy insulting me?" I ask, tugging on the shirt again as I speed walk towards the hotel. "Is that really your only motivation?"

"I enjoy looking at you," he tells me, seemingly pleased with the blush on my cheeks. "And your blushes. I enjoy those to."

I make a hmf sound that he laughs at.

"Don't you miss me?" he says, for once not sounding half as joking. "I know I miss you," he adds. When I look at him in surprise, he smirks before putting on his helmet and taking off again.

Muggles scream and jump out of the way as he swerves the bike into heavy traffic. I frown at his trail in the distance. I know I miss you. Honestly. I roll my eyes at the thought of him missing anyone before making my way back to the hotel by myself without further interruption.

I'm already to tell Draco about the movie, but when I get to our room, he's no where to be found. I find a note by the bed letting me know that he'll be back later and I frown, missing him already like some pathetic thing.

I take off my shoes and sit on the bed, tired from all the walking in the hot sun. I spot Hermione's book laying on the nightstand and I pick it up to kill some time.

I flick through the pages until I settle on one story that sticks out from the others.

The Rape of Persephone

That word triggers all kinds of horrible images in my head and I try to shake them as I read on. It's the story of a girl with an overprotective mother who kept her hidden away from the world. She was just a sheltered maiden who loved playing in the sunshine and picking wildflowers in a meadow with her nymph friends.

Until she caught the eye of Hades, the Lord of the Dead and King of the underworld.

He was so tempted by her beauty that he made a plan to kidnap the girl and bring her down into the darkness below the earth.

I feel a chill creep up my spine as I read, burrowing further under the covers with the blanket tight around me

He watched her as she played in the meadow, picking flowers and putting them in her hair and had commanded the earth to grow a single black rose to tempt her as she had tempted him. Persephone was so caught up in how unusual the rose looked, that she didn't even question it's existence in the light meadow and began to pluck it from the soil.

As she did, the ground opened up and four black horses pulling a golden chariot rose from the depths of the earth. Hades, in his dark armor, grabbed Persephone by the arm and tugged her into the carriage before urging his horses to jump back into the crack in the earth, back to hell, where she would be his Queen.

Queen...

I frown at that and I skip a few more pages before reading the end of the story.

The overprotective mother had demanded her back and punished the world for her absence. No crops would grow in the coldness that followed and the land became ice. Many had perished and many more would die, so the other gods urged Hades to give Persephone back for the sake of humanity.

He had to agree, but before he gave her back to her mother, he tricked Persephone into eating six pomegranate seeds that grew underneath the earth. Anyone who ate from the land of the dead had to remain there forever, but she only ate six, instead of the twelve he intended.

She would have to return to him six months out of the year to reign over the land of Darkness as his Queen. The other half of the year would be spent with her mother, in the sunshine, where the crops were plentiful and land was healthy.

I put my hand on my stomach and look down at the baby.

How very familiar that story seems to me now and that upsets me. I go to close the book, but I stop myself.

There's a note at the end of the chapter... I recognize Draco's handwriting right away and my heart flutters wonderfully at his words. He writes my name first and it's like he knew I would find myself reading this story, like he knew I would find it so troublesome... and he's lucky I didn't give this back to Hermione, because she would be confused as hell to receive this love note intended for me.

And a love note it was... as loving and mushy as Draco could get anyways.

It is better to reign in hell with the person you love, than serve in heaven with the person you don't.

He writes, his handwriting perfect and slightly slanted.

You are loved and you are mine.

He doesn't sign it... but he doesn't have to. Draco writes how he talks... clear and sharp.

You are loved.

I smile at the words as I read them again.

And you are mine.

I have a very girlish smile on my face as I lay back and read the story again with new eyes. I don't find it half as upsetting when I decide to make it a love story. It's nearly romantic if I make the two main characters tragic heroes in love instead of a captive and her captor.

It only takes a little turn in a story to change it completely, doesn't it?

I decide to wait up for Draco... but as the hours pass with out word, I start to worry. But my worry soon subsides because his missions have taken him away from me before...sometimes he doesn't come home into well into the night...but he always comes home eventually.

I fall asleep sometime after midnight with thoughts of Gods and Hell dancing in my head.

When I wake, Draco is still not back and my worry comes back tenfold when I find my mother at my door, holding back tears with a letter gripped in her fingers.

You are loved and you are mine.

Those words seem to have more meaning now.

"...I'm sure it's nothing serious."

I nod my head.

"They've only been gone for..." Dad checks his watch as I let my Mom rub my back. It actually feels kind of good, so I don't mind that she insists on doing it non stop. "About twelve hours."

"Twelve hours is half a day," I point out flatly.

My parents keep looking at me like they're waiting for me to freak out and wail about the room in my misery. Mom had received a letter in the morning from some Order member who let her know that Draco, Pansy, Harry, and George had all been on a mission that should have only taken a couple of hours...but none of them returned to their posts.

With the recent Death Eater uprisings, it has everyone fearing the worst.

"They've been trained," my dad says like it would put me at ease. "They know what to do in a crisis."

Right.

They had heard that Petunia Dursley was still alive and she was living in some Death Eater's house in London. The Death Eater was dead, but Mrs. Dursley was still unable to leave because of the magic that kept her in. That information was what pulled Harry away from me after the movies... it was what kept Draco from coming back to our room.

It was supposed to be quick and easy.

No one has heard anything from them since they left.

I don't know how I feel.

"I'm sure it will be okay..." My mom adds for the millionth time as she squeezes me like I was crying... but I'm not crying... I just keep staring at the wall."Those four kids... they're so good with magic and the best are out there looking for them. They'll be fine. I've never even seen some of the curses those kids use."

"Kids," I say with a head nod. "They are kids. Why did you let them go anywhere?" I snap and sound hateful, but I can't help it. "They shouldn't have gone."

No one says anything to that and I inhale a shaking breath. Most of my morning was spent in my parents quarters, curled up on their bed like a cat and complaining about how unfair life is.

I'm annoying, I know that.

Ron and Hermione left the hotel hours ago to meet at some Order base in London. My mother discouraged from going and told me that the stress would be too much for me and the baby. She told me that I needed to wait and stay calm until more information came to light on the matter.

Once again I find myself being completely useless.

"All of them are full fledged members of the Order," My father says after a long pause. "They're all of age."

He said that like it was an explanation and I crinkle my nose. I go to stand up, pushing myself up awkwardly as I try to get to my feet. My Mom stands with me like I was an old person that needed assistance.

"I'm going to get something from my room," I tell them so they won't follow.

I want my notebook.

I just want to hold it. That's weird, right?

"Of course, dear," My mom smooths back my hair and Dad nods his his head. When I leave their room, I know as soon as I close the door that they're going to start talking about me.

They're worried. I know they are. Why can't I ever just have something nice? Why does everything horrible happen around me? What will I do when I'm by myself? What awful things will go through my mind?

They couldn't even imagine.

When I get to the room that I share with Draco, I sit down heavily on the bed and run my hand over his pillow. I don't know what to do, so I take out my notebook and I just pet the cover like it would put me at ease. I guess it does in a way.

Sometimes when things happen, I can't seem to move or think properly. This is one of those moments and I keep on staring at the wall ahead of me as I stroke my notebook, my thoughts blank and uninspired until I start thinking of awful dark things that lurk in the corners of my mind.

I think of dead bodies and fires and snakes and the absence of hope.

Of course I think the worst because I've learned to always expect the worst possible outcome.

They could be dead.

He could be dead.

Dead...

If that was true, I don't know how I'd ever survive it. I would just curl up in a corner and cease to exist. I should have just done that from the start... then none of this would have happened.

As I'm petting the cover of my notebook, lost in my own horrible thoughts, my door slams open. I jump to my feet in defense, but when I see Narcissa Malfoy standing there, in all her witch finery with three house-elves around her, I let myself relax.

A little.

"Mrs. Malfoy..."

"Take everything that does not belong to the hotel," she says as she looks around the room with her nose tilted in the air. The elves start to it, opening the wardrobe and drawers to pull out clothes and other personal belongings. "Pack it nicely," she adds, sending a sharp look to the old elf that's stuffing my clothes into a wooden trunk with out care.

He gives her a bashful look before carefully folding the rest of the garments in a neat little pile.

"What is this?" I ask worridly.

When we first came to the hotel there were rules we had to adhere to. No cloaks. No wands. No magical creatures. No magic. Mrs. Malfoy is standing there in an emerald green cloak with an intricate silver clasp that's covering a very elaborate purple dress that no muggle would ever wear. She has her wand out and she's shouting spells at random things in the room to help the elves along.

Successfully breaking all the rules in one go.

"You have been here too long," she says as she watches me put a protective hand on my belly. Her eyes flick down my body before they find my face again. "No grandson of mine will be born around so many muggle devices."

She glares around the room again, focusing most of her rage on the television.

"He could come out a squib if you're not careful. You can't be around all of this muggle technology."

"I don't think that's true," I admit and her eyes snap to mine.

I gulp and look away.

"We're a family now, Ginevra," she says as the elves flit around me, packing everything that I own in trunks. "And families stick together. I've set up a room for you at our home at Yellow Springs. It's close to your old family farm. I think you'll like it," she adds and I frown because that makes me think of the burrow... how it was destroyed beyond repair. "You'll be safer with actual magical wards than in this foul place."

"Wards have not saved me at all," I point out softly, but she pretends like she didn't hear me.

"Is there anything the elves missed that you would like to pack?" she asks as she pockets her wand. "I don't foresee us coming back here." She checks her watch. "Jonathan is pulling the car around so there isn't much time to dally."

I feel a little blind sided and I blink a few times with my mouth opening and closing before shaking my head. "I can't.. I can't just go with you right now," I say softly and she tilts her chin up. "I mean... my family is here... my friends... we're all waiting for..."

"For what?" she asks sharply. "For the Order to run in and save my son when it's their fault he was captured in the first place!"

"Captured?" I say with my brows furrowed.

Of course, I knew it was possible, but I was still holding out the hope that they would just come waltzing in at any moment. Even my Mom encouraged those thoughts and told me this could all be a misunderstanding.

Mrs. Malfoy inhales a deep breath and flicks her hair over her shoulder like she was upset that she let herself get so flustered.

"Yes," she says seriously. "Unlike your parents, I will not lie to you. Draco and the others are not merely lost because of misplaced directions. A fraction of Voldemort Loyalist had picked them up somewhere in London. They could be dead... they're probably dead," she adds with her tone sounding a little bit softer. "We're family now," she says as she walks towards me and grabs my hands. "We're Malfoys and that trumps all."

"Um..." That's all I say like an idiot and her hands tighten around my mine.

"You are all the family I have now," she says and then she presses her open palm to my stomach. "This is the only family I have," she says softly as she searches my eyes.

I look down and lick my lips. She's right, of course. I know that Draco's grandparents... her mother and father, had died years ago and this war had taken away her sister and husband and father-in-law... and now maybe even her son...

I had lost a lot during this war too... almost too many to name but I still had people to surround myself with. I still had my parents and some family members. I still had friends and people who loved me.

What did Narcissa Malfoy have?

The sad answer was me.

Just me... and that had to be depressing as hell for her because I wasn't much.

I look at her again as she looks over my face, trying to weigh my reaction. I can see Draco in her expression... in her mannerisms and the shape of her eyes.

"Please?" she asks with her eyes starting to get wet with tears. "This would mean the world to me."

She's a manipulator just like Draco... and I am an easy target because as soon as she let a tear drop, I knew I would do what she wanted me to.

"Okay," I nod my head and a beautiful smile stretches across her face. "Okay," I say again. I go towards Draco's leather satchel that's sitting on one of the chairs. "Just let me get a few things," I answer and I can spy a smile curling the corner of her mouth as I pack the things the elves forgot.

My notebook. Draco's folders. Hermione's book...

"You are a wonderful girl, Ginevra," she says as I stuff a few quills in the bag.

"Call me Ginny," I tell her softly.

I hate my full name.

"Why do you hate it? It's so lovely," she says and I snap her a look.

I know I didn't say that out loud and when she smiles at me again with tears shining in her eyes, I throw up every mind shield Draco ever taught me.

I put the satchel over my shoulder and look around the room for one final sweep before looking back to her. "Let me just tell my parents."

"No time," she waves a dismissive hand as she grabs my arm. "You can write them a letter once we're settled."

"I don't know if..."

"Hush now," she says and I snap my mouth shut when we get into the hallway.

She's just like Draco in that front too, only hush now is much more polite than shut up.

She starts walking us out of the hotel as she uses her wand to confound random muggles that we pass in the hallway. On the elevator, she even knocks out a bell hop who seemed to be a little bit frightened by the house-elves and floating trunks.

I feel really guilty on all counts.

I pause a second in the main hall of the hotel and I look behind me. "I should tell my parents."

She acts like she didn't hear me and then she has one of the elves retrieve me. The poor creature grabs my wrist and I let myself get pulled to a large black car.

"I should tell my Mom and Dad," I say a little louder with a frown as I look back at the hotel again, imagining what my poor parents would do if they found my room empty.

"I'll send an elf to give word," she says, snapping at one of the creatures until it pops away. "Then you can send a letter to reassure, yes?"

I nod my head, feeling wrong in agreeing. The car ride is short and I play with the key around my neck as the muggle city passes by us. We stop on a country road outside of the town to Apparate and Mrs. Malfoy grabs my arm to take us to Yellow Springs. When we land, I stare at the large estate in the distance and feel awful for leaving my parents the way that I did.

"Don't look so sad," she says as she punches a password into the key pad on the gate. "I told you that you can write a letter once we're settled."

I don't say anything to that.

When we get inside the Malfoy's large summer home, Narcissa starts barking orders at the elves. Sending them to this room and that room to do this and to do that... I lean against the wall with my hand against a door frame, chewing on my lower lip until it starts bleeding again.

"Dear, are you alright?" she asks when she finally stops commanding her servants to look at me.

"Do you know where Draco is?" I ask softly.

"I suspect if he is still alive, then he would be held at Hogwarts," she says. "I hear they had a hell of a time at the beginning. The ghosts kept rebelling against the Death Eaters... but they've gotten it under control now."

I lick my lips, ridding it of the blood that lingers. "Can't we... isn't anyone going to get them?"

She gives me a sharp look with her iced blue eyes narrowed in thought.

"The wards they have set up were put in place by Voldemort himself," she says and I nearly shiver at the name. "They are too strong to simply just walk in...You shouldn't think of such things," she says, walking towards me and taking out her wand to heal my lip. "You are sharing your body with another little wizard now," she says, touching my stomach briefly after waving her wand in front of my face to close the self inflicted wound. "You must be smart about the things you choose to do and think about now."

Right.

She shows me to my room after that and leaves me to write the letter to my parents. I start and stop five times before looking out the window. It's a room at the front of the house that faces the rest of Yellow Springs. A lot of the houses are burned to the ground but a few are still standing.

One of them being the Zabini summer home where Draco had stayed when I was with Lord Voldemort.

Blaise.

"Ginevra," I glance over my shoulder when Mrs. Malfoy says my name. She's standing in the doorway, her purple dress looks dazzling in the sunlight. "Come. Let's eat something. It is no good to go about hungry in your condition."

I nod and jot down a quick note for the house-elf to send out before following Mrs. Malfoy from the room. I go to the table, but I don't eat anything. I just push around my food with the fork, but Narcissa doesn't say a word to me... because she's doing the exact same thing.

"Have you thought about baby names?" she asks after a long and silent hour.

I shake my head and she frowns.

"You and Draco have not spoken about it?"

Thinking of Draco makes me sad and I look at my plate.

"Not really," I admit and she purses her lips.

"You are aware that Draco is the last male with the Malfoy name." I nod my head. "And you are having a son to carry on that legacy." I nod again. "He needs a proper wizards name. Not something common and muggle sounding."

I nod just to get her to stop talking.

"There are books I can bring you," she says. "Of course, you can name your child whatever you like, but I would greatly stress giving him a regal name. As a Malfoy there will be certain expectations of him and he can't exactly go around being named Bob Malfoy or anything ridiculous like that.

Bob Malfoy. That just sounds wrong.

"What about Charles?" I ask, just to test the waters and when she makes a face, I feel a very angry pulse go through my heart. "It was my brother's name," I say softly.

"Oh, well... your family is known for giving their magical children muggle names. I would suggest not doing that."

I don't even bother saying anything else.

After a very awkward dinner, Mrs. Malfoy gives me a quick tour of the place. I actually know most of the rooms because I had been here last summer... but I doubt she knew that because she was never around.

She urges me to go to bed early but, of course, I can't sleep.

I just can't.

I feel like I should do something... but maybe Mrs. Malfoy is right. I look down at my stomach again and sigh loudly. I'm not the only one in my body anymore.

I go back to the writing desk and take a seat, looking out at the once posh neighborhood that the war had destroyed... I look towards Zabini's home, there's one light on upstairs, burning yellow against the night time sky. It's Zabini's bedroom. I know he's home and I resist going to him because I would have nothing to say.

He's just the closest thing to Draco that I could have right now.

I wonder if he's sad too. Draco was his friend and Pansy... he has to have some feeling towards her. I wonder if he's as worried as I am.

"Miss?"

I nearly jump out of the skin when the elf pops in beside me and I put my hand on my heart.

"What is it?" I ask, thinking the worst as the elf holds out a vial of glowing blue liquid.

"The mistress says yous to take this," the elf tells me as he stuffs it in my hand. His ancient face is wrinkled with time and hard labor. "She says stress isn't good for the baby and you is to relax."

Relax. Like that would ever be possible.

"The mistress insists!" he squeaks loudly after I hesitate. "She says that Alba is not to leave the room until the miss drinks."

Well, great.

I don't move right away and the poor elf gives me a pleading look with his large eyes shining in the candle light..I sigh loudly before taking the cork out and downing the potion quickly. Whatever. It doesn't even matter. The elf smiles and takes the vial from me before popping away.

I scoot back on the bed and pull out my notebook, but I stop when I open Draco's satchel and I decide on Hermione's book instead.

I look over Draco's note and read it a few times.

You are loved and you are mine.

My eyes start to droop from the effects of the potions.

It is better reign in hell... then serve in heaven.

The book slips from my fingers and I fall asleep hard and fast with images of Draco in black armor like Hades coming from the earth in a blood red chariot.

I wake early in the morning to an odd noise and I crack my eyes open only to see the same house-elf who had me drink the potion last night bustling about the room in a great hurry like he was on some kind of schedule. I clear my throat when he lays an orange dress on a nearby chair and then he turns my way quickly with his ancient brows up in surprise.

"The miss is up," he says, giving me an uncomfortable smile. I push myself up and rub my head. "I ran a bath!" he squeaks proudly, rolling on his toes like he was really pleased with himself. It makes me miss Franklin's nastiness, to be honest. "And laid out clothes," he adds, showing me the pile where he put a bra, yellow knickers, and a pair of white bobby socks. "The mistress was very particular in her demands."

"Oh," I say as I pull myself to my feet.

I walk towards the orange dress and run my fingers over the soft fabric.

"This isn't mine," I admit softly and the elf nods his head.

"The mistress sent out for clothes this morning," the elf named Alba answers. I sort through the undergarments. These aren't mine either. "Just for the miss," he says proudly, beaming at me from ear to floppy ear.

"What's wrong with my old clothes from the hotel?" I ask softly and the elf blinks a few times.

"They is being washed."

Oh.

"Thank you," I tell him, not sure how I feel as I make my way towards the bathroom where steam is floating towards the ceiling. "Do you have any shorts?" I ask, stopping short and turning around when I realize that is something I want. The elf tilts his old head to the side in question. "So I can wear them under the dress," I explain quickly.

The elf still looks confused and I sigh before going into my explanation on why I want to wear shorts.

"My thighs rub together," I admit and the elf blinks a few times. "And after a while, it hurts."

He furrows his brows before popping out of the room. I wait a moment, but when he doesn't return, I figure I won't be getting any shorts today. I guess I'll have to manage. I go into the washroom and use the alone time to take a long bath.

The water helps clear my head as I clean my body and hair with expensive shampoos and soaps. The smells of lavender and vanilla are really relaxing and for a moment I nearly forget why I'm so sad in the first place. I stay in the tub until the water turns cold and I dry quickly, using a white fluffy towel that feels wonderful against my skin.

There's a terry cloth robe hanging on the door and I put that on before walking into the bedroom with my hair wet and dripping on the floor. I find a pair of navy shorts laying on top of the knickers and I smile to myself as I pick them up.

"Thank you, Alba," I whisper before getting dressed.

The dress looks polished and it fits me very well with plenty of room to breathe. I fold down the top of the socks and look around for a pair of shoes. I find a pair of brown wingtip oxfords by the bed and they fit just as perfectly. Of course. It's like someone took my measurements while I was asleep and that thought is kind of disturbing.

Disturbing because it probably happened.

I pause a moment to look at myself in the mirror after I braid my wet hair. Ruth Davenport dressed me as a little version of herself in tighter skirts and trendy silk blouses. Mrs. Malfoy seemed to be doing the same with a tailored dress in a retro cut and classic footwear.

My identity was again getting lost in other people's ideas of how I should look.

I don't even care.

I make my way downstairs and find Mrs. Malfoy in the breakfast nook, eating a grapefruit with a silver spoon as she reads the paper.

"Good morning," she says, giving me a tired smile as she motions to the seat beside her. "I hope you were able to rest."

"That potion worked very well," I admit. "Thank you," I add as I blink at her. "For the clothes. They fit very well."

"Yes," she smiles at me. "Don't mention it."

"Has there been... any news?" I ask, looking at the paper.

She shakes her head and takes a drink from her coffee as oatmeal and peaches appears on the plate in front of me. "The Order has sent an owl to Yaxley's base in hopes of bargaining with him. If he's smart, he will agree to their terms. It's the only way he will make it out of that castle alive."

I don't say anything. I just pick up the spoon and push food around, taking little bites so I don't die of starvation. The food tastes like cardboard and is not appetizing at all.

"Did my mother write back?" I ask softly and she nods, handing me a letter.

I open it and scan the pages wearyingly. Of course she's upset and I could tell she was yelling at me in her letter. Which is a very hard thing to do through handwriting without looking like a lunatic but my mother was doing it surprisingly well. I'm surprised she didn't send me a howler, but being surrounded by so many muggle things, she probably couldn't muster up the magic.

I put the letter on the table and take a drink of milk as Narcissa Malfoy watches my every move like a hawk.

"I imagine your family is not very happy?" she questions and I shake my head.

"Not at all," I admit, playing with the key around my neck again.

If she's anything like her son, she probably read the letter before I did.

"Well, it's not like you won't get to see her. You will be safer here by far and I'm sure she will come to understand that."

I nod and take another sip from my glass.

"I have something I thought you would enjoy seeing," she says, snapping her fingers until a house-elf appears with a large leather bound book.

She takes it from the elf and hands it to me. I raise a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm finding myself very sentimental," she says as I open it to the first page. "I started looking at this after you retired for the evening and thought you may like to see it."

It's a scrapbook of Draco's life. From the time he was a baby all the way up until now... before the war started. There's a photo of Narcissa holding him as a newborn and another of him as a chubby baby with blond hair crawling around Lucius Malfoy's chair. It warmed my heart to see him as such a cute little thing.

The book is well documented with every major milestone and birthday perfectly recorded and categorized in a neat little package.

There are dates and descriptions and mementos held within the green pages. Like baby fine hair from his first hair cut and fingerprints from when he was five years old. There are photos of Christmas toys that made him beam in happiness and summers at the lake where his skin almost looked tan. Almost. Pictures of friends and horses and games and swim meets and little league Quidditch teams...

Draco was loved.

That much is obvious and I can't help but smile a little to myself to see him look so normal and happy and just like a boy should be. It's hard to think of the Draco I know now as such a carefree little child who did regular things.

"He was such a sweet baby," Narcissa says as I keep flipping through the pages. "We didn't have to have anymore children after him," she adds, sipping her coffee. "Perfected it on the first try."

I give her a little smile and go back to the pages.

Halfway into the book, I see a picture of Abraxas Malfoy in his wheelchair. I pause for a second to admire the older Malfoy who Peter Pettigrew had murdered and I feel something heavy settle on my chest when I remember that he died trying to help me.

Sitting on the couch beside his chair is a very regal looking man in a three piece suit. There's a cane resting against his side and the marble top has a wolf carved into it.

He was older, like the elder Mr. Malfoy, and his skin was very dark... almost as dark as his coal eyes that reflected the light of the fire nearby. I look underneath the photo for the caption. This was taken during Draco's fourth birthday and the two gentlemen in the picture are listed by their names in neatly written cursive.

There was Abraxas Malfoy, of course, which also held the title of grandfather before his name and beside that was the name Carmine Zabini.

Zabini.

Blaise's father.

I quickly go back to the photo to study the man with a closer eye. Carmine Zabini, world renowned healer, was an imposing looking man. Even in his advanced age his eyes were sharp and heavily lidded as he smirked at something off in the distance like it was mildly amusing, but only just.

He didn't look like Blaise.

To be honest, Blaise's ethnicity was always a mystery to me that I never quite figured it out. Not that it mattered, of course, but it was always there to wonder about. I knew that his mother had the same look that could be taken a million different ways, but his father was clearly black and had very dominant features that Blaise didn't seem to inherit.

It's kind of confusing, actually.

Carmine Zabini was a tall man in life. I could tell just by looking at his legs as he sat. His head was clean shaven and his limbs were thick and muscled like a tree trunk. A violent looking scar ran from the top of his forehead all the way down to his jaw, leaving a streak through his left eye and a cleft in his eyebrow. I wonder if he got that fighting for the Dark Lord...

He looked like a warrior in a waist coat.

"Ginevra."

Mrs. Malfoy says my name, so I pull myself away from the picture to be polite.

"You are studying that photo very hard," she says sharply. "Do you have any questions or are you just admiring the camera angle?"

"Oh... it's just.. I was looking at Blaise's dad," I admit. "How did he... How did he die?" I ask because he just looked so fierce and so strong, even at his age. "Did Ruth Davenport really poison him?"

"She's never went to jail for it," she says as she grabs the book to take it away from me.

That's all she says... and a silence hangs in the air before an elf comes in to drop off a note.

"Excuse me," she says as she gets out of her seat after reading it. "I have a floo call I have to take."

She leaves the room with the photo album and I stare at my food for a few moments before I start thinking of Draco and how terrible his world must be right now. I can't stay idle any longer. I need to get up... I need to move.

I decide to go back upstairs to get my notebook, but I stop when I see Hermione's book resting on the nightstand. I grab it and flip through the pages until I find what I want.

You are loved and you are mine.

I rip the page out and fold it into a small square, stuffing it in my pocket.

You are loved.

I rub my face before leaving my designated room and moving down the hall. I don't stop until I reach the bedroom I had slept in with Draco over a year ago... when I was still unsure and so naïve about everything.

I open his door and peak my head inside.

Everything looks immaculate and clean. I doubt he stayed here much and I chew on my lip as I step into the room. There aren't any clothes in his closet or in the drawers, but Narcissa had left the trunk of his things that she took from the hotel at the foot of the bed... like they were awaiting his arrival.

I go over to the trunk and pull out one his wool jumpers that he would only wear during the night when it got too chilly to bear.

It still smells like him.

I bundle it in my hands and bring it up to my face to inhale against the fabric. I hold it there for a while, comforted by the familiar scent, as I walk towards his desk. Of course, that's fairly bare as well because this was a room he rarely lived in, but there was a book about fishing on his desk top. I pick it up and flip through it because I have nothing else to do and by touching his things, I feel closer to him.

Something falls out of it halfway through.

A little bit of paper glides to the floor and lands by my feet. I bend down to pick it up and I lower Draco's jumper so I can read it properly.

What I see makes my heart stop.

It's just a name.

One simple name...

The name of a pureblooded family that the Dark Lord had all but wiped out.

The name of my Grandfather and uncles who had perished in the first war.

My mother's maiden name.

Written on the same bit of paper I had given Draco over a year ago so he could come into my house.

The piece of paper he swore he gave back.

The ward password to the burrow.

Prewett...

I drop his jumper and leave the room.

I keep walking, walking and walking and walking until I find myself going out the back door, headed towards the dock. It's a place that holds pleasant memories for me... memories of a budding relationship before the world got too twisted.

I take my shoes off and then stuff the bobby socks inside them before taking a seat. I dip my feet into the cool water and nearly smile when I ripple my toes against the surface. I remember watching Draco swim in this lake, his body moving like a shark in the water. I remember his smiles and sweet kissing and gentle words.

They seem to take president over everything else and I don't realize I'm crying until footsteps shake me out of my thoughts.

I move quickly, pulling my feet from the water and turning around to face the intruder. When I see Blaise Zabini standing there with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, I exhale slowly with my hand on my heart.

"You frightened me," I admit. I turn back to lake and sit back down at the edge of the dock.

"I have that effect on most people," he jokes. He walks up beside me as I quickly wipe unwanted tears away.

I watch from the corner of my eyes as he takes off his shoes and then he sits down, leaving only an inch of space between us.

"What are you doing?" I ask softly, pushing hair behind my ear as I glance his way.

"I heard you were here," he says with a shrug as he rolls up his pant legs so he can put his feet in the water. "The wards always let me in, no matter how annoyed Mrs. Malfoy gets."

He smirks at that and I face forward.

"I was just thinking about you," I admit to him and he looks surprised. "Mrs. Malfoy had a photo album she was showing me. It had a picture of your father in it."

"Did it now?" he asks, a brow up as he studies my face. "And what did you think?"

"He didn't look how I imagined," I tell him honestly as I start paddling my feel to make waves in the water.

"How did you expect him to look?" he asks and I look his way, taking in his handsome features again...He looks like his mother, but there was still a sharpness to his features that I don't think he got from either parent... and his coloring was still too light to make sense.

It doesn't really matter, though, and I shrug.

"I don't know," I reply as I bring a hand up so I can chew on my nails. "Do you think... Do you think they're dead?" I whisper softly, knowing Blaise would be the one to tell me the truth.

"No," he says seriously and I feel a sigh of relief leave my lips. "Maybe your brother is," he adds and my heart tightens at the thought. "Pansy too. They have no use to the Death Eater's and are of no importance."

"They're important to me," I say sharply and he gives me a look.

"Let's be practical," he answers as he leans in close. "Harry is the face of the resistance and Draco is the richest wizard in England. What would George Weasley or Pansy Parkinson have to offer?"

That realization sinks in painfully and my eyes well with tears so I turn away quickly.

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "I forget how easily you cry."

"So, Harry and Draco... they would keep them alive for sure right?" I ask, my voice sounding hopeful even though all I want to do is curl up and cry.

"Alive maybe, but what's left of the Death Eaters are not the most stable people. Draco wasn't only a traitor to our bloodlines, but a traitor to the Dark Lord. They will make him pay for that and it will not be pretty."

I cover my mouth as I think about the torture that they could inflict and the cry gets stuck in my throat as Zabini puts his arm around my shoulder like he wanted to comfort me. How could he comfort me after saying something like? I push his hand away and crunch the paper up in my hand until my fingernails cut into my palm.

He doesn't say anything for a while and neither do I...

"What do you have there?" he asks, grabbing the password from me and smoothing it out.

"I found it in Draco's room," I admit. "It's the ward password to the Burrow... to my home... He told me he gave it back. He was certain he did." I frown and kick my feet against the water again. "He must have misplaced it," I say to myself, but Zabini hears it.

"Maybe he did," he says. "But when have you known Draco to misplace anything?" I frown, giving him a sideways look from the corner of my eyes. "Maybe he gave the password to the Death Eaters."

"He wouldn't do that," I hiss, my vice dark. "He wouldn't compromise my family like that."

"You know he would," he says flatly. "You just have to figure out what truth you want to believe. After all, lies are only lies when you don't believe them."

I'm not sure there's any sound logic to that, but I don't say anything.

"Let's just pretend for a moment that we knew for certain that he gave the password away. The important question is why," he says, studying my face with a critical eye. "Why would Draco give your ward password to the Death Eater's, knowing full well that your family was on Lord Voldemort's most wanted list?"

I don't know the answer to that.

"Maybe it was because he knew that Azkaban would be safer for your family. Maybe he knew that the probability of them dying in the field was far greater the longer they waited and maybe he knew that they wouldn't be executed in prison."

"Maybe," I say, willing to accept that answer if it was true.

"Or," he says, pausing for dramatic effect. "Maybe he wanted them out of the way so no one would try to pull you out of school. Maybe he wanted it so no Weasley's were out there to come after you."

"Maybe he just forgot about it," I reply sharply, hating his words.

"That is a possibility... a very slim one," he answers, nudging my arm. "After all, isolating you is the best way to control you, isn't it? Just ask Narcissa Malfoy," he adds, nodding behind us to the large house in the distance. "She is very similar to her son in that regard."

"What are you talking about?" I say sharply. "Narcissa has no one else. She's all alone..."

"Is that what she told you?" he asks, giving me a sad look like I was a stupid child who just didn't know any better. "If something happens to Draco—who is the main beneficiary to the Malfoy estates?" he asks and my face snaps to his."It's not her anymore. Lucius Malfoy left all of it to his favorite son. With the stipulation that he take care of his mother and leave her with a very hefty allowance. There was no such clause in the contract you signed. Imagine what's going through her mind right now."

He reaches into his pocket to take out a cigarette as he eyes the golden key around my neck.

"If Draco dies, the largest fortune in England is going to be left to a blood traitor from an inferior family. Just imagine how awful her thoughts are towards you right now... especially since you're carrying a child out of wedlock."

My cheeks heat and I look away, almost horrified by what Narcissa Malfoy must think of me.

"I'm sure that's not true," I whisper. "She... no... Why would you say that?" I ask him sharply, putting the blame of my confused thoughts on him.

"I like the way your mind works," he says, giving me a fond kind of smile that I hate. "I truly do. It is a rare thing to be so sweet and optimistic, even after all you've been through. If only you could be so optimistic about me," he says seriously, a pouting frown on his lips. "But I suppose I am the exception to your rule... A part of me never wants you to lose that sweetness, but unfortunately it has disabled you in you dealings with my kind of people."

"Your kind of people," I reply with a brow arched.

"Yes," he answers. "My kind. It's not that I think you can't play the game," he admits as he puts the cigarette to his lips. "I just think you brought the wrong equipment to the field."

"What's the point of telling me any of this?" I ask tiredly, tilting my face towards the sun. "Besides you just wanting to confuse me... mess up my thoughts."

He uses his wand to light his cigarette and I glance at him as the smoke curls into the air.

"I want to prepare you for what I want to say."

"What is it?" I ask softly, not sure if I want to hear him.

"What if they don't make it out alive?" I look at him, almost ready to yell. Wanting to demand why he would say such a thing, but he holds up his hand. "But most importantly, what if they do? I am all for opportunities," he says, turning to touch me, but I pull back. "This is our only get out of jail free card."

"What-"

"I've been thinking that you and I could leave England. We could leave all this behind..."

He starts talking. Words that fold and mix together and I just stare at him with wide eyes, hardly believing this is real.

"...and I'm of age so I've come into my inheritance. I no longer need to rely on my mother and if something does happen to Draco, you will have a very fine fortune yourself. In fact," he says, reaching out to touch the key. "You could take a very large sum right now and no one would be the wiser."

"What are you talking about?" I ask in disbelief, struggling to my feet because I can't finish this conversation sitting down. "We're not going anywhere. Especially not together. Draco is your friend... and what about Pansy? What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me. I'm just weighing my options and this is a route we both could take. It could work out for us. The blood that binds us is strong, but this is a small window we can jump out of now. I know it could work. We could-"

"There is no we!" I shout. "I love Draco."

"And his love comes at a higher cost," he says darkly. "You can't have the girl and the world too, Ginny. Which one do you think he is more willing to give up? My ambitions aren't half as strong as his. I don't need the world. You and I..."

I shake my head.

"You and I," he repeats firmly. "We could build something far away from this. You could love me. I know you could. If you can love him, you can sure as hell love me. I know it."

"I don't love you."

He pauses for a second before flicking his cigarette into the water and taking a step closer to me.

"You liked kissing me. Don't even lie and say you didn't. I know you did. I could tell you did. Why is Draco the only one who gets to be redeemed? Why does he get forgiveness from all his evils just because you love him? Why does he get that from you? Who cares if you never love me? You could try," he says as he grabs my arm. "Your kindness would eventually break you and you would see what a wounded beast I truly am and you will find yourself loving me as you love him."

"Get off," I try to push his hands off me, nearly seething in anger.

"I'm older than Draco, by a few months, actually," he says, his grip firm on my arm. "I think you'll find I could be a good substitute," he says, glancing down at my stomach. "My father loved me when he didn't have to," he adds, and I think that was an odd thing to say. "It could work."

"Get away from me," I push him back and he stumbles, only to catch himself before he falls into the lake.

"I will not force you... I will not trick you into this," he say sharply, running a hand through his dark hair and making it messy. "Can you not see what this could be?"

"How could you even think this way? Don't you care for anyone but yourself?"

"Maybe I care for you. I could, you know. I am capable of that now matter what people think," he says flatly and I shake my head because if he did, he never would have brought this up. "Draco does love you and I've been wrestling with myself all year with that knowledge. In fact, it's his love that has put him this situation and you know that he will not allow that to happen again."

I push him away again and grab my shoes, stuffing my feet into them with out bothering with the socks.

"And maybe I saw you first," he says as I tie them quickly. "Maybe I saw you before the Dark Lord started saying your name and maybe Draco didn't care. What do you think of that?"

"I don't think anything," I tell him harshly, wanting to hurt his feelings but it doesn't seem to deter him.

"What will happen ten years down the road? Have you thought of that? You never ask yourself and then what. That's your main character flaw. Then what. If you asked that question more often, you wouldn't get in half as much trouble as you do. You love Draco, he comes back... and then what? Do you think he'll be as warm with you as he has been once the honeymoon faze has worn off? Trust me, the laughs and smiles and kisses and touches are not in his character and tigers do not change their stripes so easily. Especially not for a girl. Not even you, Ginny."

"I know how Draco is," I snap, because I do. I knew it all too well. "I know he can be mean. I know he can be impatient and cruel and cold, but there are many sides to one person. You don't know everything."

"Let's look at this year from a clear perspective then, shall we," he says, taking out his wand as I take a step back. He points to the water, swishing his hand until a bright light flows from the tip. "Not long after Lord Voldemort came back, he started saying your name quite often to his inner circle."

He tilts his wand up and an image of the Dark Lord flashes in front of us, making me retract and look away as memories rise to the surface.

"Who do we know who was in his inner circle?" he asks with a brow up, shooting another imagine into the air. "Lucius Malfoy," he says as the older Malfoy smirks at us from above the lake. "With as unhappy as the Malfoy's were with Voldemort's return, if it was known that your blood would make him more powerful, can you imagine the things they spoke about?"

I refuse to reply and he keeps going, shooting an image of Draco into the air.

"Now Draco, Draco knew that he had a claim to you from some ancient bloodline bullshit. Suddenly he's interested in cashing that check after so many years. You know why," he says flatly. "He didn't expect to like you so much and I think once he realized what the Dark Lord had planned for you-"

"This isn't new to me," I cut him off quickly, staring at the shining buttons his shirt as the images fade. "They used me, I know that... but Draco and I are in love and..."

"And what if Draco could have gotten you away from the Dark Lord after you were caught? Have you asked yourself that question? I was able to bribe a house-elf into giving you Henry, why wasn't he able to do something similar... why wouldn't he let me?" He looks at my stomach again. "Did he want the Dark Lord to do that to you?" he asks, making a motion to my middle and I inhale a sharp breath because I thought Draco was the only one who knew the truth of what happened to me. "Why would he? Would it be beneficial in the long run?" he asks before continuing. "When the seventh moon is in the second house," he says as my insides turn and my brain starts pulsing. "A powerful union between the two families..."

I can't let him finish. I bring my hand up and swiftly smack him across the face. It rings loudly in my ears and birds fly from the branch of a tree nearby.

I pull back quickly and cover my mouth when he turns his head to give me an awful glare. An awful glare that I deserve because I know how terrible it feels to be hit like that... but my anger is too great and I couldn't let him finish what he was implying.

It was too evil. Even for him.

He touches his face that's starting to flower in a violent red hand print across his right cheek. He licks his teeth once before dropping his hand and narrowing his amber eyes.

"If Draco survives this, you'll build a life with him. One day you'll open your eyes and find out he's turned into everything you hate. Which of your convictions will hold you after you're in too deep? Will you fight against him, or burn the world by his side?"

"I thought you wanted what he wanted. I thought you believed the same things."

"I do," he says seriously, he jaw clenched in anger. "But maybe I don't want to fight for it anymore. He has led me down a path that I can't seem to get off of and I'm tired," he says, his hand on his chest. "I am fucking tired of it."

I hesitate a second before I remember something he told me... something from long ago where he admitted he always liked taking things from Draco.

"You're just doing this to hurt him," I say seriously, frowning as he shakes his head. "You're very sneaky in the ways you do it, but you're always out to hurt Draco."

"Maybe he deserves it," he says sharply. "Have you ever thought of that? Of course not. You still view him through rose colored glasses. It's not like he doesn't hurt everyone around him, Ginny. You've seen how he deals with his anger," he adds darkly. "And you have adopted his views," he spits out, touching his hurt cheek again. "I've suffered more broken bones from his wand than I would care to admit and so what if I go out of my way to hurt his feelings every once in a while? That's minor and has nothing to do with this"

"You were the one who gave that message that Harry," I say, putting my hands on my back as I try to piece this together. "Did you know... Did you intend for them to get caught?"

"No," he shakes his head quickly. "There is no way I could have orchestrated that... but maybe Draco did."

"What?" I ask flatly.

"I know you'll believe whatever you want, but what if Draco wanted Harry out of the way." I shake my head. "There are multiple motives for him to want that. If Potter died, then Draco would be the big hero of the war... a spy who helped the order and fell in love with a Weasley. Could you imagine how well that would sell to the public? But Potter's the favorite and would continue to get all the glory. If he decided to go into politics, Draco would have no chance in beating him fairly in an open election, especially with his beliefs being as they are."

"That doesn't..."

"Doesn't what?" he asks. "Doesn't make sense? Of course it does, and to top it off, Potter is probably the biggest rival for your affections. He loved you. I think you know that because Draco could tell right off the bat."

"How would he end up captured as well?" I ask, shaking my head again.

"Maybe that's where his love for you comes into play... or maybe his guilt. He didn't know that your brother would go with Harry. That he would volunteer to help. That's how Malfoy and Pansy ended up going after them and the plan backfired... but maybe I'm lying," he says with a shrug... an infuriating shrug. "I guess it's whatever you want to believe."

"Why even tell me any of this?" I ask hatefully. "I'm in too deep now anyways... I already told Draco I was all in. There's no going back from that. I love him too much. Every time I came to you with questions, you would push me in his direction. Why are you saying any of this now? Why? Why now?"

He doesn't say anything, he just shrugs and looks at the lake.

"You can leave if you want," I tell him, playing with the page in my pocket.

It is better to reign in hell with the person you love, than to serve in heaven with the person you don't.

I turn to walk away. Away from the dock and away from Blaise Zabini, but when he says my name, I stop and glance over my shoulder.

"There is another option I can propose," he says. His hands are stuffed into the pockets of his blue jeans and his eyes are shining gold against the sun. "Plan B, if you will. Or C... probably plan C actually. I don't think you'd like plan B. It's very similar to plan A in the sense that we both get the fuck out of here because I am tired of fucking fighting... but you'll like plan C.."

"What is it?" I ask, my jaw clenched and my posture rigid.

"It's an idea that I think you will find most pleasing. It has Ginny Weasley written all over it."

I raise my brows, waiting for him to say something of use, but he doesn't say anything for a while and he just stares at me.

I start walking away again.

"We could go and get them."

I turn to face him and he smiles when he sees the look on my face.

"See, there it is. I knew you'd like that. You're all about suicide missions, are you not? And why not? Why the fuck not?" he says with a shoulder shrug as he walks towards me. "Meet me on the dock after Mrs. Malfoy goes to sleep. She's usually goes down around ten after a few glasses of wine."

Then he sighs loudly and looks at the trees.

"We're giving our freedom up. You realize that, don't you?"

I don't say anything and he comes towards me, tugging on my hair and giving me a smile I can only describe as sad.

"In any case, it's about time we use all that pent up power everyone claims that you have." He smirks, the sadness in his eyes gone so suddenly I hardly believe I saw it. "You've been pretty useless in that area, wouldn't you say?"

He goes to walk past me, his eyes narrowed and thoughtful.

"Mrs. Malfoy says that the wards are too powerful at Hogwarts," I say, my throat dry and tight. "She says that Tom put them up himself."

He blinks at me calling the Dark Lord by his real name and I blush, turning away when I realize I shouldn't have done that.

"Now that the Dark Lord is dead, you're the big dog on campus," he says, giving me another amused smile. "Didn't you know that? When we go there, we can show the Death Eater's who they truly need to fear."

He starts walking up the stairs that lead to the house, and I feel something odd settle inside of me... something close to pity.

"Blaise," I say to his retreating back and he stops on the steps to glance at me. "I'm sorry I hit you," I say honestly, the guilt finally catching up with me. "And everything else."

"Don't be," he says, his foot on a step above him as he looks me over. "Survival tip number one," he says, giving me a crooked smile. "Never be sorry about anything. Especially if you don't mean it."

"I do mean it," I admit.

"I imagine we'll have this conversation again. Only the roles will be reversed and we'll both be a lot older," he muses to himself. "But don't worry," he says gently. "I will not be so quick to say no to you and I will definitely not smack you for it."

With that he leaves and I can't find it in me to move for a very long time. His words fumble around in my mind, refusing to settle or make sense to me and I stay on the dock until Narcissa calls me from the back door. I trudge my way to the house with my head down in thought as I think of Blaise and puzzles he presents to me.

Why does he have to present everything with maybe in front of it?

The day is long and uneventful with Mrs. Malfoy speaking to me of the past like she was living a memory. A pleasant memory where everyone she loved was alive and well. I feel bad for her too and around nine she sits by the fire in a living room with a bottle of wine by her side as she tells me stories of Draco's birth and how Lucius was such a doting father.

"You can't imagine how sweet it is," she says, her eyes drooping from the wine. "To see such a hardened man love something so much."

Maybe I can imagine.

Blaise was right, around ten she retires for the evening, leaving me to myself in living room. I wait until I'm sure she's asleep before I grab a black cloak and I stuff my wand in my pocket. I pause outside of Draco's bedroom door before going in and finding the wool jumper I had discarded on the floor.

I pick it up and press it to my nose again before slipping it on over my dress. The nighttime air is chilly and I like being surrounded by something that smells like Draco.

It makes me feel closer to him, no matter what evils he might have done.

Zabini is waiting for me by the dock, his face turned towards the sky as a lit cigarette burns red against the night.

"Are you sure you want to wear a dress?" he says, looking over my outfit when I approach.

"It's okay," I admit as I put on the black cloak that I had gotten at Hogwarts. It still has the Dark Mark sown into the chest and I feel like a traitor for wearing it. "I'm wearing shorts underneath."

He snorts in laughter, throwing the cigarette into the lake as he puts up the hood on his own cloak.

"Fair enough," he says. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asks as he studies my face. "It's not too late to turn back."

"I'm ready," I say steadily and he nods.

"Good," he whispers as he takes out his wand.

He makes a motion with his hand and I follow him up the steps and around the house. We don't stop until we reach the front gate that he pushes open.

"Any last words?" he asks as I look back at the Malfoy house like I'll never get a chance to see it again.

I shake my head. "You?" I questions and he smirks, a light coming to his eyes that I have never actually seen before.

"I hope you're ready," he says, reaching out to take my arm so we can Apparate together. "Things are about to get wild."

Wild...

Wild...

Wild...

Wild..

Wild...

Wild...

When we land outside of the castle gates, Blaise pulls away from me and stares at our old school with his eyes narrowed.

"Hogwarts is going to burn tonight," he says seriously, his tone somber and dark.

As the child moves inside of me, I can't help but think of the words that I smacked Zabini for... The words I couldn't bear to have him finish...

When the seventh moon is in the second house, a powerful union between the two families will set the world on fire.

Hogwarts is going to burn tonight... and I'm the one that's going to do it.
- 19
- 20
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Envy and Manipulations