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Unleashed	By : lordoberon Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 17651 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. I make no money in the writing of this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
I want to give them so much time more to get to know each other, and be sweet together...but I fear it may have to come in the form of a different, fluffier, less action-packed fanfic. Alas!

This is not the last chapter. Second to last. After this, less action. more...well I won't give it away.

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UNLEASHED

by lordoberon

Chapter 20

There was a feeling in Severus that he hadn’t felt in a long time, and he was trying with all his might to squash it down. Hope, as cheesy as it was to say, had fluttered in him today. He had let Harry put his head on his shoulder; he had let Harry go on a diatribe against him and his closed-off ways. That was all well and fine but…when had he started thinking that Harry might be right?

He began to fear that maybe, in pushing Harry away, in shutting Harry out…he was missing out on something amazing.

He had seen the way Harry was with all of his friends and his adopted “family” of the Order and the Weasleys. He had glimpsed it in passing through. It was seeing all of this love exuding from Harry, plus all the other qualities, plus the beauty in that boy, that made it so difficult to resist Harry.

Yet he had resisted…for so long! For Harry’s safety, for his own sanity, he had resisted. Now, the idea was being posited by Harry himself, that resisting was stupid, that it was a loss and not a gain. In his way of thinking, let death and Voldemort do their worst, Harry would stand by the side of those he loved any and every day. Why couldn’t Severus?

It was not that he feared death. It was not that he feared being sad, really, although that was what he had implied to Harry. No…it was the inane fact that he feared being happy. Once he had happiness, what would he do with it? How would he keep it? How would he be himself? Severus was so used to Life fucking him over; if it stopped, he wouldn’t know what to do.

He laughed at himself even as he thought about it. Alone the next day, while Harry rested from the third and final blood session, he thought about everything Harry had said, until all the pros and cons whirled about his head so fast that he thought he might retch.

He was not some teenage boy, with time for all these flights and fancies. He was a man, an adult, and his life was already settled. It was how it was, and that was that. It was too late for some big change. It was too late for love to sweep him up, gather him in, and make his life wonderful. He shouldn’t hope for it, he shouldn’t want it, no matter how beguiling all of the things Harry had said were.

Happiness was always lost once you gained it. It never came to Severus easily. Why stumble over himself reaching for it, when in the end he would just fall into unhappiness again sometime later? His unhappiness was always deeper and longer than the brief bouts of happiness he had.

Happiness, for Severus, was brewing, and watching Harry Potter, and reading. He didn’t need any more. Watching Harry did not have to become having Harry for himself. This was what he told himself. He did not need Harry for himself. Watching was enough. Being involved in some way was enough. Anything beyond that was just…too dangerous. It was too possibly happy – happy, and fleeting.

Part of him, the wishing part, agreed with Harry…and the other part refused to listen. It was the battle that he’d been doing for years, except now, the wishing part was winning, because Harry was cheerleading it on, cornering it like he might the Snitch.

As it was, Severus was given no time to think anymore about it. One moment, he was sleeping, waiting for the dream potion to work, hoping Harry was asleep. Then, a scream shattered the silence.

He bolted out of his room and immediately rushed to Harry’s room. It was empty. The dream potion was setting on him…heavily, sleepily, he went to the kitchen. The lab. The backyard. Empty. Empty. Empty!

Finally, leaning against the front door in fatigue, he thought back. The scream had come from the west. West was outside of his house.

He pulled on his coat and stepped outside. He set out at a quick walk down the lane, cursing the dream potion that was sending him away…how could it be, if Harry were not asleep? What…

From some distant place, he was aware that his body had fallen flat on the cold cobblestone, and that it hurt. But in his head, a voice was speaking to him. It was not Harry…

“They have become thirsty, my little darlings. They could not wait any longer for you. I thought, oh, maybe I should calm them down…but really, they cannot be controlled. They are like animals, Severus. They are so thirsty. They cannot wait for the wine – they guzzle down the water, even if it had poison in it. I, on the other hand, am patient. I can wait for the wine. I see you have it. I am ready. Give it to me. To us.”

Severus shook his head. “What have you done?”

The demon king with his silver crown was glaring at Severus. “Do not make me wait! Already your charge has done a great wrong, by the books of humans. Would you wait for him to be taken over even more by my pack of demons, and kill her? Give me the blood. I want to live again, I want to walk…I want to taste everything.”

Severus shut down the little slice of fear and panic that was percolating into him. “If I give it to you, leave him. Do not attack him or me any longer.”

He did not have Lupin. How was he going to study the demons? How was he going to destroy them, once they had a corporeal body?

He forced himself out of the dream, pain bursting in him, and walked slowly down the lane. There, at the corner, lay two dark forms. He squinted down at them, half in the dream world, half in the real one.

Harry lay comatose next to a young girl. When Severus checked her quickly, he saw her wounds. Skin had been ripped from her head, and blood flowed from a bite to her neck. She was moaning in pain. The uncontrolled demon pack had taken Harry over once more, and almost killed a muggle. If he let anyone see…

“Hey! Who goes there?”

Merlin’s cold toes. Severus turned to the blue uniformed man who was walking down the lane. He had to act fast. He did not want to deal with the muggle criminal system.

BAM! He petrified the muggle man in uniform. Quickly, he muttered healing spells, curing the wounded muggle girl, but then before he could find her address, before he could Obliviate the cop and bring Harry back, he was sucked into the dream world again.

The voices all spoke as one. “GIVE THE BLOOD.”

He had no choice. It was surrender, or die. So he gave it, swiftly. When he was returned to the concrete world again, he swayed in fatigue. Could he keep his senses together long enough to fix this? He had to. He had to!

Black tendrils zoomed out of Harry at an alarming rate. They coagulated together into the pale, naked form of a man. He had long hair that fell in a mess around his shoulders. His eyes were dilated and red. Crouched over almost on all fours like an animal, he fell into existence out of the air.

Severus stared at him, and he stared at Severus.

The muggle copper started to take out his gun. Then, suddenly – “Avada Kedavra!” He fell down dead. Another Killing Curse, and the muggle girl that Severus had been about to send home safely was dead, too.

Severus lifted his wand as a shadow emerged out of deeper, larger shadows.

He smirked at the newest arrival. Oh the joys of being a double agent. “Bellatrix,” he greeted.

The brunette glared at him from beneath her heavy eyelids. The look on her face was one of disgust. “You found him, Severus? Why are you still here? Bring him to the Dark Lord! He awaits you.”

The naked demon-man slid forward, towards Bellatrix. Like a bird or a snake, he chirped, and cocked his head curiously at her. Severus took a moment to lean down, and as he picked up the boy, he made sure that Harry was still alive. Thank Merlin he was! Heaving the teenager over his shoulder like a sack of grain, he said, “What about him?”

“Who is he – argh!!” The woman screamed as the demon-man leapt upon her. They fell to the ground as one, rolling, and stopped at the edge of a wall, with the man on top of a writhing Bellatrix. Her wand was stuck beneath their bodies. She swore.

The man put his hands heavy upon her throat, choking her, shrieking in that high-pitched voice, “SHE IS POWERFUL! WE WANT HER!”

They were not satisfied by the new body. It was too weak. Perhaps the demons had lost their demoniac power within him?

The moment the woman opened her mouth, the demons began to disintegrate again, and tried to enter into Bellatrix. Immediately Severus had his wand pointed at the demon-man. Bellatrix was not someone who he would like to see wandering around with demon power.

As one, they said, “AVADA KEDAVRA!”

The man was flung high into the air, and fell hard back upon the cobblestone. Bellatrix got up, swaying on her feet. She lurched forward a moment, and then walked up to the man lying on the ground. She kicked at him to make sure he was dead. “Good. Now let us go to the Dark Lord.”

Dead. Just like that! All the troubles from the demons, and once in a newly-formed human body, he was just as vulnerable and clueless as an ordinary muggle man. It made Severus want to laugh and curse at the same time. Were it not for Bellatrix’s Killing Curse, perhaps he would not have been able to kill the demon-man alone. He had seemed exceptionally physically strong. Yet that was not enough to stop two Killing Curses.

Severus sneered. “US? You want to bring Potter to the Dark Lord and take the credit from me? I will not allow this, Bellatrix.”

Inside, he calculated. If Bellatrix left, he only needed a moment to escape. He could leave Harry somewhere safe, and then disappear deep into the world, and hope that the other Death Eaters did not find him. He would not bring Harry to Voldemort, because the time was not right for that encounter. Neither would he surrender to death, though he’d longed for it before. He would run, for as long as he could, and pray to be alive the day that the Dark Lord fell. Dumbledore had wanted Severus to see Harry to the completion of his mission – to make Voldemort nothing more than a terrible name of the past, never to rise again.

He would not fail Dumbledore, or Harry, or himself. It was all the same goal. Keep Harry alive, so that Voldemort could die.

Seconds later while he was thinking, Bellatrix bowed with a scowl on her face. “You bastard,” she said. “I don’t trust you. But you have only a moment! If you’re not there soon after I return…”

She held her wand aloft. Severus kept his tight in his hand. Then Bellatrix apparated away.

Immediately he apparated to Tonks’s house. He put Harry down on the couch.

“Safekeep him,” he said to an alarmed Tonks, “Bring him to Grimmauld Place. Minerva will bring Weasley and Granger there.”

“What about you?” Tonks crouched over Harry’s prone form protectively. Severus felt a pang of relief to see it. But most of him was anxiety at the moment.

“I will simply try to stay alive. Once Bellatrix sees that I haven’t brought Harry to the Dark Lord, they will be looking for me.”

“Severus!!” Tonks’s hair was wild flaming red. “Stay at Grimmauld! The Order will protect you!”

Severus sighed. He did not want to jeopardize them. And he did not want to be stuck at that horrid house. But perhaps it was wiser to stay hidden than be a fugitive on the run. If he left the country though, how many Death Eaters would Voldemort spare to search for him, when he had a war to fight?

Voldemort would be furious. Yet, he would surely send Death Eaters to try and enter Grimmauld and fight the Order, too.

“We shall see.”

He left then, back to his house, where he mindlessly grabbed whatever he could – potions supplies, Harry’s belongings stuffed back into his bag, as many Defense Against the Dark Arts items he had on hand, all shrunk down to fit inside of his pocket.

When he arrived at Grimmauld, the entire Order was assembled. As Harry slept upstairs, he gave them an account of what had happened, leaving out why Harry had stayed at his house, saying it was private information he had shared with a few.

Then, exhausted, he slept.

He was haunted by images of Harry. When he awoke, he found that the images in his sleeping mind were echoed in his waking. Harry sat at the foot of his bed. He said something to Weasley and Granger, and then they shut the door. Severus shut his eyes again before Harry could see that he was awake.

Severus couldn’t help but think over everything Harry had said. Harry wanted him…in every way. There was desperation in the way that he kept pleading with Severus. He wanted Severus in his life. Severus couldn’t understand why, except that…Harry was lonely. Harry had so many friends, yet he still felt some part of him was incomplete. Somehow, in the time that he had spent with Severus…he seemed to feel like Severus completed something for him. It wasn’t just the talking over Lily…it wasn’t just that Severus was helping with the demons…out of all the time they had spent together, something had evolved.

Harry had seen the desire that Severus had for him. And Severus, in turn, had seen care and attention in Harry for him…and felt personally the sweet taste and touch of Harry’s desire.

Ah but what use was it all now? Harry would leave to hunt horcruxes. Severus would be alone. A burning pain erupted in him to think of it, but he let it burn. He didn’t have any alternative. He had to let Harry do the hunt.

He kept his breathing even, like a sleeper, when Harry started to talk to him.

“Severus…I bet you’re mad at me for all of my questions and all of my getting under your skin…but Merlin! I’d do it again. You deserved it. You earned it. With all of your stupid little…argh! Just. You being you.”

The boy sighed before continuing. “But I’d stand it. I’d tolerate it. All of your…loose knuts, and the grief the way you ignore people and bury yourself in books, and all of that. It doesn’t bother me. I like the Severus behind the Potions Master. I really…I really do. I meant everything I said, and I’d do it again, and say it again. You helped me…a lot. We opened each other up. And now I have to leave and get things done, since you banished the demons out of me. I don’t have to wait anymore. I…thanks for that.”

He sounded like he was struggling now. “I wanted you to know, you stupid arse, that you’re special to me, too. Even if you are cranky, and terse and absolutely insanely maddening!”

Severus opened his eyes, and sat up slowly. “And just what do you think you’re going to do about me, you mewling, insufferable little git?”

He enjoyed the flush of anger which that created on Harry’s cheeks. The teenager’s hair was a riot on his head, a black wilderness streaming back from where his fingers had shoved through it. His bottom lip was red from having bitten it, and his hands were clenched into fists at his sides. It was refreshing to see him, once more, in the black robes of a student.

“I’m going to keep bothering you,” Harry growled, “as it seems we’re meant to do for eternity.”

He clambered across the bed then, and pressing his hands against Severus’s cheeks so hard it hurt, he kissed him. It was a longing, beautiful kiss, rough and hungry but so good. Severus played with that enthused tongue, and let the boy leave a bite on his bottom lip. Marked in a wholly different way, he sat back. They just looked at each other.

He stared into those beautiful green eyes, and then drank in all of Harry – his entire face, the warmth of his body, the clench of one hand still lying against his cheek.

Then, with a deep sigh, he looked away. Back to business. He pulled from his robes a cold shaft of wood, unfamiliar, and yet familiar, too. He had kept it on his person for so long now, hidden with magic.

“This is something you’re going to need.”

He grabbed the boy’s hand from his cheek, and forced it to lay palm up. He placed Harry’s wand in it, and watched slender fingers clasp it eagerly.

Breathless, with so much hope and happiness in his face, Harry waved the wand in the air. Yellow and purple sparks flew from it, arcing across the room.

He looked back at Severus and then stood up. He cleared his throat loudly. “Thank you.”

He hung his head a little, to hide his emotion, but Severus could see it sparkling in those green eyes. He reached up, and pressed Harry’s glasses so that they sat back on the bridge of his nose again. “You’re welcome.”

The boy stood there like an idiot then, and Severus shoved him away. “Go. And don’t forget – the memory. When you’re nearly done.”

He tossed the little vial into the air. Harry reached out and caught it deftly.

Hand on the doorknob, Harry turned back. “You stupid arse,” he said. “What if I’d dropped it?”

With that, he left. Severus listened to the sounds of the Order milling about, the goodbyes, Moody’s growls, and then the hush, as three young people that might save the world left on their mission.

Then he turned over, and recited the periodic table of elements, and other things, so that he wouldn’t have to focus on the goodbye. It might just be his last one with Harry James Potter...

SOME MONTHS LATER…

Severus had thought this might happen. He had prepared himself. After months as a fugitive, some traveling, some researching, and some at Grimmauld, here he was. He had inched his way back into the service of the Dark Lord only by an elaborate story about Harry Potter’s escape.

Now, after all that…he screamed as Nagini’s fangs tore into his neck. The moment he fell to the floor, Severus slipped his left hand into his pocket. In one shot, he injected the antidote into his thigh. It was the only chance that he could be saved. Brewed by himself personally, from acromantula venom bought for a hefty trade from Slughorn, it was the only thing that might save him now.

It was so perfect and so obvious, that his miserable life would end alone in such an ugly little hole…but even so, he felt bitterness, anger, and sadness well up in him. He decided not to fight it. This might be the end. Why continue fighting? He was tired of being angry. He was tired of fighting everything and everyone. So, Life always gave him shit. Now, when he didn’t expect anything, he could finally allow himself to feel a moment’s self-pity.

His overflowing pity, overwhelming his mind even as his body was overwhelmed by the pain of the venom, was then taken away from him. He would have been upset about it, except that the person who stole it from him was someone special. Special was not really a strong enough word.

He watched as, in an unreal way that didn’t fit with any of his luck so far, Harry Potter emerged from a tunnel in the wall of the shack. His eyes could not look away, as that familiar disheveled head of black hair rose up, and then green eyes lit on him.

“Severus,” he said. It was just one word. But it sent hope trickling into Severus…yes. Even if he died now, he could at least die happy. He was seeing Harry. He had done his duty - had given Harry the memory of Dumbledore’s wishes: that Harry, the last horcrux, would sacrifice himself to Voldemort. If Harry survived…

As Harry knelt down in front of him, Severus grabbed the front of Harry’s robe and pulled him in close. He stared into the deep jade eyes, and took in all of that beautiful face. He drank it in like he hadn’t ever before.

“Look…at…me.”

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I'm writing quickly. Please forgive me. I hope it's not very disappointing; I wanted this fic to be amazing...I really did! especially to thank my wonderful readers and reviewers. This is almost the end. I think the next chapter will be the last.
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Unleashed