Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

A Marriage of Convenience	By : NinaSweets Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 158860 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 44
Disclaimer: Harry Potter characters and places all belong to JK Rowling this is a not for profit story.

Chapter List
- 19
- 20
- 21
Hey, hey check me out, chapter 20 within a fortnight, how is that for dedicated?
Enjoy guys.

Chapter Twenty
Sirius had stayed with Harry for five days but today Snape was being released from St Mungo’s and Professor Dumbledore would be taking him there to pick the man up so Sirius had to go.
Just after dawn found Harry and Sirius hugging tightly, Harry, knowing, each second he clung to the man could mean his capture but not caring. Sirius allowed Harry to cling to him, simply patting his back softly and resting his chin on top of Harry’s messy hair.
It was Sirius who pulled away first and Harry held tight to his sigh of disappointment. He might as well of done it because Sirius knew exactly how he felt from one glance at his face.
“We’ll be together soon I know it,” Sirius said squeezing his shoulder gently.
“It gets harder and harder,” Harry muttered quietly.
“I know.”
Sirius transformed into Padfoot and gently nudged Harry’s leg with his nose, letting Harry pet him once on the head before heading over to the door and pawing at it whining pathetically making Harry laugh. Harry went over and opened the door for him watching as he disappeared down the corridor with a flick of his shaggy tail.
Harry let loose the sad sigh he’d been holding in and leant against the door. He had been standing there for a while lost in thought because all of a sudden it was pulled open and he fell out into the hall nearly crashing into Professor Dumbledore.
“Eager to go?” Dumbledore asked cheerfully. Harry stood up brushing off his robes and gave a shaky nod. Dumbledore smiled brightly at him and led the way off down hall.
“Ordinarily I would enjoy taking you the scenic route through London, however I feel with how closely the paper has been watching you lately it would give them far too good a chance to catch us, Dumbledore said and Harry nodded
“So how will we get there?” Harry asked hoping they wouldn’t be taking the floo.
“The Floo network,” Dumbledore said with an amused smile almost as if he’d read Harry’s thoughts.
They arrived in the Headmasters office and headed immediately for the fireplace.
“Now all you have to say is St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries,” Dumbledore instructed offering the pot of floo powder to Harry.
“Er, Professor, you do know I got lost in the Floo network trying to say Diagon Alley right?”
“You’ll be fine,” Dumbledore reassured him.
Harry sighed and grabbed a handful of floo powder, why did magical transportation have to be so complicated?
Harry threw the floo powder into the orange flames watching as they changed to a sparkling emerald green. He stepped in and made sure not to breathe in as he spoke.
“St Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries,” he called out carefully. A second later he was whizzing past hundreds of fireplaces. He shut his eyes tightly starting to feel nauseous, and then he was slowing down and then falling. He opened his eyes in time to see white linoleum rushing up to meet him. He landed with a painful smack right on his face and sat up holding his nose that was gushing blood.
He glanced around and found himself in a crowded reception area with witches and wizards all looking thoroughly bored and pursuing out of date copies of Potions Quarterly and Witch Weekly. It could have been any other hospital waiting room were it not for the strange conditions some of the patients; one man had two extra hands sticking out of his chest which he was using to hold the Daily Prophet while the other two filled out his admissions form. There was a lady hiccoughing bubbles and another who seemed to be vomiting up flowers into a bucket.
Harry was ignored on the floor until Dumbledore stepped through the flames behind him. Dumbledore stood out immediately against the stark white walls with his bright green robes and sparkly blue swirls. He came over to Harry and fixed his nose with a simple flick of his wand, another flick later and Harry’s face was blood free.
“Thanks,” Harry said standing up carefully.
“Practise makes perfect,” Dumbledore said and Harry offered a small smile. Dumbledore turned and headed for the reception desk where a very bored witch sat reading a magazine as a bright blue quill scratched away at a piece of parchment beside her.
“Good morning,” Dumbledore greeted, the woman didn’t look up.
“Morning,” she said lazily and handed them a clip board with a stack of files attached to it, “Fill those out and a Healer will be with you shortly,”
“We’re here to visit someone,” Dumbledore said
“Visiting hours aren’t until ten o’clock,” she replied still not looking up from her magazine. Harry was about to snatch it out of her hands but Dumbledore spoke again
“Yes but there is an exception for relatives, Harry Potter is here to see his husband,”
That got her to look up. Her eyes went wide at the sight of Dumbledore and even wider at Harry standing beside him.
“Oh, Professor Dumbledore, hello, I didn’t recognise you... uh... have you lost weight?”
“Quite all right Evelyn and no I haven’t but thank you for saying so,” Dumbledore said smiling brightly.
“So... Harry Potter is here to see his... his uh – his-”
“Husband,” Harry said pointed and Evelyn flushed
“Sure, of course, what’s his name?”
“Severus Snape,” Harry said curtly. Evelyn let out a squeaky unsure laugh.
“You must not read the newspaper very much,” Harry said and she gave another uncomfortable laugh.
“Nope,” she said and turned in her chair writing something down on a piece of paper. As they waited she refused to look at them staring at the paper with great determination. Harry turned to survey the rest of the room. There was an empty portrait behind the desk with a plaque underneath that read:
DILYS DERWENT
St Mungo’s Healer 1722-1241
Headmistress of Hogwarts School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry 1741-1768
Harry turned from the empty portrait to look at the floor guide.
ARTEFACT ACCIDENTS – Ground Floor
Cauldron Explosion, Wand Backfiring, Broom Crashes, etc.
CREATURE INDUCED INJURIES – First Floor
Bites, Stings, Burns, Embedded Spines, etc.
MAGICAL BUGS – Second Floor
Contagious Maladies, e.g. Dragon Pox, Vanishing Sickness, Scrofungulus etc.
POTION AND PLANT POISONING – Third Floor
Rashes, Regurgitation, Uncontrollable Giggling, etc.
SPELL DAMAGE – Fourth Floor
Unliftable Jinxes, Hexes, Incorrectly Applied Charms, etc.
VISITORS TEA ROOM/HOSPITAL SHOP – Fifth Floor
If you are unsure where to go, incapable of normal speech or unable to remember why you are here our welcome witch will be please to help you.
“Here we are,” Evelyn said turning back to them, “First floor, third door on the left,”
“Thank you,” Dumbledore said politely and led Harry off through a set of double doors. The hallway was lined with more portraits of famous Healers; Dumbledore turned and led the way up a set of stairs. They emerged on the first floor arriving in the creature induced injuries corridor and turned left heading to the third door. A plaque on the door read: Eric Smyth Ward for Creature Attacks, there was a smaller card beneath this in a brass holder where there was handwritten: Healer in Charge: Matthew Danielson, Trainee Healer: Bonnie Holloway.
Dumbledore led the way into the room where two healers in lime green robes looked up at them startled.
“Visiting hours aren’t until ten o’clock,” the man said glaring at them both.
“Mr Potter here is collecting his husband, I was informed Severus was given the all clear,” Dumbledore said.
“Albus you did not bring him here!” a voice called from behind a closed curtain. Harry knew who it was and immediately ran forward hurrying around behind the curtain.
Snape was lying in bed in a flimsy hospital gown. His arms and what Harry could see of his chest were heavily bandaged and he was glaring at Harry. Harry didn’t care, he was so happy to see he was okay he stepped forward and carefully hugged him.
“Taking advantage of the invalid because he can’t push you away?” Snape spat and Harry grinned.
“Something like that,” Harry said pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I was mauled by a rabid dog, oh wait that’s because that’s what happened,” Snape said and Harry took hold of his hand squeezing tightly.
“Are you – I mean – have they – are they infected?”
“Would you not love me if they were?” Snape asked.
“No, I mean, I still love you,” Harry replied honestly. Snape raised an eyebrow and stared at him waiting for him to catch up. “If I loved you at all I mean, I mean – I don’t, right now but it still doesn’t matter to me.”
“Yes of course,” Snape said trying to hide his smirk.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me!” Harry snapped and Snape shook his head.
“I’m not,” Snape said seriously, “I’m flattered, really,”
“Because it’s such a surprise? You’re always complaining about my big heart, it really is big, lots of room in there for cranky potions masters,” Harry said with a grin.
“So you really are okay?” Harry continued, “You’re not going to be changing at the full moon or anything?”
“I have no way to accurately gauge the damage just yet, I feel more irritable but I’m unsure if it’s from the bites or the infuriating staff here,” Snape said and glared pointedly at the female Healer who was opening the curtain around his bed. She gave him a stern frown but said nothing, simply moving on to the next patient’s bed and opening their curtains.
“Well the students will be very upset to hear your far more irritable especially because Professor Lupin was so relaxed,” Harry said and Snape grunted making Harry smile.
“How is he?” Harry asked
“How is who?”
“Professor Lupin,”
“Why would I know?”
“Oh, I just thought he’d have been by to visit you,” Harry shrugged. Snape stared at him then glanced over to where Dumbledore was speaking with Healer Danielson.
“You don’t know,” Snape said and Harry frowned
“Don’t know what?”
“He didn’t tell you,” Snape said quietly, he was glaring at Dumbledore now and Harry’s frown deepened. He sat up a little straighter and put his arm on Snape’s shoulder drawing the man’s attention gently back to himself.
“What didn’t he tell me?”
Snape leant over to his bedside table and grabbed the paper that was there. Harry had been determinedly ignoring the headlines and isolating himself in Snape’s rooms when he didn’t have classes, he hadn’t even spoken to Ron and Hermione and bless them they had both let him have his space.
Harry took the paper from Snape’s hands and read the front page.
WEREWOLF GETS LIFE
The public was in outrage this morning when dangerous werewolf Remus Lupin escaped execution this morning and was sentenced simply to life in Azkaban without parole. -
Harry put the paper down and stared at Snape. The man stared back at him, dark eyes blank.
“How could you let this happen?” Harry asked.
“ME?! In case you haven’t noticed Potter I am the one in a hospital bed not Remus Lupin! He was bloody lucky if you ask me, werewolves are put down that’s the way it goes. Astoundingly even though the room was full of witnesses not a single one of them recalls having seen a single thing, it seems that somehow a forgetfulness draught found itself into the evening’s batch of pumpkin juice,” Snape said and Harry sat back in shock.
“This isn’t right,”
“Oh of course, I get attacked and hospitalised and Lupin gets off the hook, but it’s still not good enough for Harry Potter. Poor Harry Potter, the stupid naive boy just wants the world to be a happy place where everyone is good and free. WAKE UP!” Snape shouted, “Bad people do good things and good people do bad things sometimes! The world isn’t black and white, not everything can go your way all the time! That bastard should be dead for what he did to me! But no, I was unconscious and unable to give testimony, not a single person in a room of over four hundred can remember quite what happened. So Lupin gets to have a little play in Azkaban and then the war will be over and he’ll be set free never having paid his dues. It’s school all over again, let’s not worry about how Severus Snape feels, Lupin didn’t mean it, he didn’t know what he was doing, he was only seventeen, it was all the werewolf. Well now Lupin is thirty-four years old who attacked me, completely unprovoked, in human form. He is facing the consequences he should have faced eighteen years ago when he first attacked me. Karma is a bitch Potter and eventually she catches up with everyone.”
Harry stood up and stepped away from the bed staring at him.
“How can you be so full of hate?” Harry asked quietly and Snape glared at him.
“I don’t owe Remus Lupin any favours. He did NOTHING for me! NOTHING!”
“Oh so what? He stood by while his friends called you some names, my god! You’re always telling me to grow up but I’m not the one who can’t let go of some school yard bullying,”
“Don’t assume to understand,”
“Assume? I more than understand I lived it! For eleven years! I was locked in a cupboard and called horrible names and beaten and starved because of who I am, because of something I can’t change!”
“Spare me Potter you’re not the only one with a tragic childhood,” Snape said and Harry shook his head.
“Fine,” he said, “Fine, you sit there and you can think you won all you want. You sit there and believe justice was served to your bullies, they all got exactly what they deserved and so will you. Because while you sit and gloat I’m going to go home and pack my things and think about how on earth I could have ever believed myself in love with someone so angry and twisted. You may have one upped everyone else but you won’t be getting your revenge on James Potter through me, you haven’t earned it and you don’t deserve it and you certainly don’t deserve me. Goodbye Severus Snape,”
Harry took the ring off his left hand and placed it down onto Snape’s beside table. He stared at the man for a few moments breathing heavily. It figures the second he admits his feelings it all blows up in his face. He shook his head, this was for the best a little hurt now would save him a whole lot in the future.
He turned very slowly and jerkily, trying to keep himself steady. He walked out of the ward with his head held high.

Of course the Daily Prophet had heard about the story almost immediately, there wasn’t a juicy story to tell. No one had any idea why Harry had moved back into Gryffindor tower, he was still technically married to Snape but he would be filing for divorce as soon as he could. That didn’t stop the papers though saying all sorts of things. Harry would glare it whenever he saw Hermione reading and all she offered was a sheepish smile.
“There’s some real news further inside,” she’d promise and Harry would roll his eyes and huff but let her carry on.
Harry had relied heavily on Ron and Hermione’s shoulders for the past few weeks. The two of them simply carried on as usual as if he’d never been married. Potions classes were the same where Snape ignored Harry and Harry ignored Snape.
Harry couldn’t deny his heart ached when he was forced to sit through Potions, he also couldn’t drop it either and even if he could he wouldn’t give Snape the satisfaction. The man was an expert at hiding his emotions but Harry knew it irritated him to no end to have to see Harry over and over again.
The third task was rapidly approaching and it would be so very strange to not have to sit with Snape, to not have to pretend anymore. Well toward the end it hadn’t been pretending.
Harry wished break ups were as easy as falling in love had been. He felt so tired and angry all the time. He was angry at Snape and tired of his impenetrable force field that seemed to protect him from everyone’s cruel words. He was angry at the Ministry for making this so much harder and tired of all the things the Prophet was saying. He was furious at this stupid tournament and tired of rules. The Ministries rules, Hogwarts rules, even those unspoken rules, the ones that prevented him from running away with Sirius and living on the run, hiding from everyone and everything. No, he had to stay, he had to finish school and kill Voldemort. That was his job that was the lot he was laid down in life and never before had he wanted to know why. Now he did though. He wanted it more than anything actually. If he couldn’t understand love and he couldn’t understand the Ministry and he couldn’t understand society then he at least wanted to know why he had to kill Voldemort. Why did a fourteen year old boy have to do something that not even the most powerful wizard could accomplish?
Harry only knew two people who knew the answer, one wouldn’t tell him and the other wasn’t exactly keen to speak with him at the moment. Still, surely the man owed him this?
Harry stood up abruptly startling Hermione and Ron who had been quietly chatting beside him.
“Where are you going Harry?” Hermione asked
“To see Snape,” Harry said.
The two exchanged a look before Ron leapt up and stood in front of him.
“Not a really good idea mate,”
“I just have to ask him a question,” Harry said
“Is it really so important you have to go right now?” Hermione asked, “It’s nearly curfew.”
“It’s about my parents,”
“Oh... well maybe you can ask Snuffles?” Hermione suggested jumping up to help Ron block Harry from moving forward.
“Snape is the one who told Dumbledore why my parents were killed, I want to know,”
“Right now?” Ron asked
“Yes,”
“Why all of a sudden?” Hermione asked.
“Because I need to understand,”
“Right now?” Ron repeated and Harry nodded.
“Maybe you should ask Dumbledore?” Hermione suggested.
“No, he’ll say I’m not ready,”
“I’m sure he has a good reason,” Hermione said. Harry shook his head, this was getting him nowhere. He walked around the two of them and headed upstairs to the dormitory. Ron and Hermione exchanged a sigh of relief thinking they had won the argument. Hermione frowned, that had been too easy, she slapped Ron’s arm.
“The invisibility cloak!” she cried, they hurried up the stairs but Harry was already invisible.
“Well we didn’t pass him on the stairs, he must still be in here,” Hermione said
Ron nodded, not budging from the door to keep Harry trapped in the room.
“I’m smaller then you think Hermione,” Harry’s voice came from behind Ron who spun to try and grab him. They heard his hurried footsteps on the stairs and chased after him. They reached the common room just in time to watch the portrait hole open and shut for nothing and Hermione sighed.
She headed around to the couch and flopped down in it and Ron came to sit beside her, watching her in concern.
“We should wait till he gets back, he might want to talk,” she muttered and Ron nodded.
“He might not,” Ron pointed out and she looked at him
“Then we need to be here even more.”

Harry sat patiently on the couch in Snape’s quarters completely invisible. He needed to have the upper hand here or Snape would never talk to him.
Snape waltzed in through the door to his office yawning widely, a stack of freshly graded papers under his arm.
“Evening Severus,” Harry greeted softly.
“FUCK!” Snape shouted dropping his papers everywhere. Harry took the chance to reveal himself and stared at the man with raised eyebrows. Snape glared at him and folded his arms over his chest.
“Severus is it?” he asked and Harry shrugged.
“We were married,”
“Yet you couldn’t call me that when we were together,” Snape said and leant against the wall casually. “How is the divorce coming along?”
“The Ministry still wants me to jump through a few more hoops but it shouldn’t take too much longer,”
“Excellent. Get out,”
“I came to ask a question,”
“And it shall be ignored,”
“It’s about my parents,”
“Doubly ignored,”
“You said that your involvement in their deaths would make me hate you. I hate you now so telling me will be okay,”
“Do you really hate me?” Snape asked and Harry blinked at him.
“I don’t see how that’s important,”
“You brought it up. See I don’t think you do, in fact I don’t think you’re even capable of it. That big heart of yours works against you sometimes, once someone worms their way in they can’t ever leave,” Snape said simply. Harry glared at him. He was even angrier now, how dare he presume to know Harry! How dare he be so accurate with it too!
“Tell me what you know,” Harry said ignoring Snape’s words.
“You said you have a question, you technically haven’t asked one,”
“What do you know about why they were targeted?” Harry asked raising a challenging eyebrow at the man.
Snape turned and headed to his small kitchen grabbing a glass and a bottle of scotch. He came back and sat down opposite Harry on a reclining chair. He poured himself a glass and stared at Harry for a long time with that blank expression on his face.
“Many years ago-”
“I didn’t ask for a story,” Harry interrupted and Snape stared at him.
“Do you want me to tell you or not?” Snape snapped and Harry sat back quietly, setting his jaw in anger but not saying anything.
“Many years ago while I was fully devoted to the Dark Lords cause he sent me off to recruit a seer. The Dark Lord felt that having a seer on his side would ensure him victory. I had heard whispers that a relative of the great Cassandra Trelawney was interviewing for a position at Hogwarts as their new Divination professor,”
“What?” Harry asked in shock. Snape ignored him.
“I had been hoping to catch her alone to invite her to the Dark Lords cause, however before I had a chance to start Albus walked in and they headed upstairs to a private room. I followed as quietly as I could, with a few carefully placed charms I could hear inside the room as if I was standing right beside them. Albus listened politely to her spiel and began to reject her when I heard a cup shatter. A very odd creaky voice spoke: ‘The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...’ that was all I heard before Aberforth, the owner of the pub discovered me and threw me out. I ran immediately to tell the Dark Lord. He paced for hours, forbidding me to leave his presence as he had me repeat over and over what I had heard. He turned and said one word ‘Potter’ I knew it meant you, it meant your mother,”
“You were her friend,” Harry said quietly. “You asked him to spare her,”
Snape stared at him silently with those piercing eyes and Harry shifted uncomfortably.
“Yes,” Snape spoke eventually, “I’m not proud to admit I didn’t care what happened to the rest of you. I knelt before the Dark Lord and I begged him to spare her life,”
“You loved her,” Harry said suddenly and Snape glanced at him before looking back at his glass of scotch. “It’s why you hated dad so much isn’t it; it’s why you hated me, why you couldn’t look me in the eyes, her eyes.”
“He said that he would see what he could do but if she got in the way...”
“He did ask her to step aside,”
“Are you justifying what he has done?!”
“No! I’m just saying, when I hear my parents in my head, when the Dementors are to close, dad tells mum to run and mum... well, Voldemort asks her to step aside, he calls her foolish, he says she can live if she’d simply stand aside and let him kill me, mum won’t and then there’s screaming and a flash of green and his laughter rings in my ears.”
“The Dark Lord isn’t really one to keep his promises. I couldn’t take the chance so I went to the only person I knew had a chance of protecting them from him,”
“Dumbledore.”
“Yes, I begged him to protect her to do whatever he could to keep her safe, to keep you all safe. I agreed to do whatever it was he asked of me forever more if he would save her,” Snape said, “He failed. They were dead within weeks of going into hiding, betrayed by the one they thought they could trust. I raged I screamed and I shouted, I broke things and he sat watching me, letting me finish. Then he told me you had survived, my job would never be finished until the Dark Lord was truly dead because I had promised I would do whatever he asked as long as Lily survived. She did survive, through you... ‘you must protect what’s left of her’, ‘don’t let her sacrifice be in vain’,”
“Oh god! You didn’t marry me to get back at James,” Harry said standing up. He felt sick to his stomach; he felt dirty “You married me to be with her!”
Snape said nothing and Harry clutched at his stomach.
“There’s something wrong with you! You’re – you’re disgusting you’re sick!”
“There was a long time when not a day would pass and I didn’t think of Lily Evans, I remember the last thing I thought about her though, do you want to know what it was?”
“No! Ugh! I need to leave!” Harry turned, heading for the door,
“I thought about how much easier it was to love her than it was to love you,”
Harry stopped and turned sharply.
“You love me?” Harry whispered.
“I did not say that,” Snape said sternly and Harry blinked at him.
“But... you thought about it, loving me, being in love with me, you’ve thought about it,”
“Stop putting words in my mouth,”
“You just said-”
“Potter,” Snape warned and Harry sighed,
“It’s Harry, sir, it’s just Harry,” Harry muttered.
“Harry,” Snape repeated softly and Harry stared at him waiting patiently for him to go on. His mouth was open but nothing came out. Harry bit his lip nodding carefully.
“It’s okay; you don’t have to say it. In fact it’s probably best if you don’t. I’m not ready for it, this has been really weird. I think we both need to take some time and think about it, I know I definitely need to,” Harry turned and fled, his footsteps echoing down the hallway into nothing.
“I love you,” Snape said told the empty room.

Ron and Hermione both agreed he needed to think very carefully about all this. Would he be comfortable in a relationship with Snape or would he always wonder if the man was kissing him or his mother. Ron suggested just forgetting about the man altogether as it was the easier option. Harry couldn’t and Hermione understood, he was a big part of Harry’s life intentionally or not. He had been his mother’s friend, the reason the Potters were targeted and also Harry’s protector, risking his life by spying against Voldemort. It was a big complicated mess and Harry was very confused. For once Harry was grateful that Ron and Hermione could never agree on anything, he got both sides of the argument and they were argued fairly well from both sides.
Harry spent most of his time thinking. He was quiet in classes and silent in the common room. He shuffled through life blankly. He didn’t realise he was acting very different until Professor McGonagall called him into her office.
He sat before her, the desk in between them as he nibbled on a ginger newt she’d offered him.
Professor McGonagall’s office was much like the woman, very sturdy and severe with lots of dark wooden furniture. It was also heavily panelled in wood to keep out the cool of the stones and allow the heat of the fire to soak further into the room. Behind her desk on a mantle was the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup for the year 93-94 which Harry had helped win and the Hogwarts House cup, decorated with red and gold for Gryffindor.
“Severus is a hard man to love,” she said quietly and Harry nodded in agreement. “The reason I pushed for you so much is because you remind me so much of him.”
Harry stared at her blinking slowly.
“Yeah, because I do so enjoy throwing cauldrons across the classroom when someone messes up a potion,”
“Not like that. When you first arrived here, the look about you both. I’ve been a teacher more years then I care to admit, I’ve learned to notice the signs of neglect. I begged Albus not to leave you there that night but the man has his reasons and I know that while they’re not obvious to anyone else they’re usually the right thing to do. Albus had nothing to do with Severus though. He was the son of a fairly average witch and an abusive alcoholic Muggle. I think he resented his mother for staying with him when she was a witch. He never could quite understand emotions very well. Trying to get him to apologise for hurting someone’s feelings was particularly difficult because he simply saw it as him telling the truth. He didn’t really ‘get’ empathy.”
“Professor,” Harry said softly, “Why are you telling me this?”
“Well if you’re going to hate something the least you can do is understand why it’s the way it is,”
“I don’t hate him,” Harry said and she looked at him sharply checking if he was lying.
“I don’t,” Harry repeated honestly. “I hate that he let something as stupid as my mum and dad falling in love turn him to that side,”
“Well how would you feel if young Mr Weasley fell in love with... well Mr Malfoy?”
“I’d be horrified and disgusted which are the accurate feelings for such a thing. I certainly wouldn’t go gallivanting off into Voldemort’s arms,”
“Miss Grangers perhaps? Not like that of course,” she said seeing Harry’s face scrunch up, “I mean you would seek comfort with her wouldn’t you, to talk this all through,”
“Yes. I suppose I would,” Harry said and frowned, “I cannot believe Snape’s only other friend was Voldemort!”
“It wasn’t, it was Lucius Malfoy. Severus was such an odd boy, always so closed off, so cold, even his own house mates didn’t like him. He always had his head stuck in a book and waved off anyone who made an effort because friends were distracting him from being something brilliant. I think Lucius saw someone smart and vulnerable he could use to his advantage.”
They sat in silence, McGonagall sipped at her tea, patiently watching Harry.
“I don’t understand what you want me to say,” Harry said after a few long moments.
“You don’t have to say anything, I just wanted you to listen, and I want you to understand why Severus is so ‘hate-filled’,” she said “Imagine, Mr Weasley is killed and Ms Granger is forced to go into hiding to protect herself, those same people are after you and the only thing you can do is take a job you hate and be stuck in the same place all day everyday to keep yourself safe. You’ve been stuck there now for nearly thirteen years without a single friend to talk to. So you’ve sat in your room and you’ve thought and you’ve thought and you’ve thought about every single second of your life that lead you to the exact moment you’re sitting there.”
“I don’t understand,”
“Severus has had enough time thinking Harry, he doesn’t need anymore,”
“I do,” Harry defended softly.
“I know, just don’t leave it too long. Thoughts left to linger too long turn into the sharpest weapons,”
Harry sat back in his seat and frowned down at the tin of biscuits on her desk.
“Just some more for you to think on Mr Potter, you’re free to go now,” she said.
Harry stood up and gave her a nod quickly leaving her office. He headed upstairs to Gryffindor tower. He flopped down on his four poster bed staring up at the red canopy above him. Snape was a half-blood like himself. Like Voldemort. Harry wondered if Snape knew that. Dumbledore probably told him, it didn’t really feel like something Voldemort would be telling all his pureblood followers.
Harry knew about Snape’s pureblood family, it was where he’d gotten Tipple the house elf from.
His thoughts turned to Snape’s Muggle father. He kept imagining him like his Uncle but with Snape’s hooked nose. Could he have been so abusive to Snape and his mother the same reason the Dursley’s yelled at Harry? Was he afraid of their magic? Did he think he could beat it out of them too?
Harry wondered what he would have done had his mother been there, she would have stood up to the Dursley’s. What if she hadn’t? Is this what Snape faced? Did he try to protect her or did he hide and hope his father didn’t find him? He would have hid like Harry had tried to when he was little.
Harry could imagine Snape getting very mad at Lily when she stood up to bullies.
Harry rolled over and frowned in thought. Thinking and imagining Snape’s childhood wouldn’t help him at all. It only raised more questions and he couldn’t even handle the ones he did have. Harry sighed and rolled back onto his back staring up again.
Why was everyone so keen for him to stay with Snape? Well not Ron, but McGonagall certainly was. Hermione seemed to be on the fence, she wasn’t pushing them toward one another but she wasn’t pulling them apart either.
Would he truly be killed by Voldemort? Was Snape his only chance to be happily married? Was he really willing to be with the man if that was the case? Could his brain just answer a single question without coming up with a million more? Was that possible? Apparently not.
The only one who could really answer these was Snape. How did he get Snape to talk about it? This wasn’t like that thing with his parents... this was all different stuff this was... date stuff.
Harry sat up. Of course. He and Snape and skipped all the steps and it got all messed up. They had to go on a date!
Harry lay back down feeling very proud of himself and for the first time since moving back into Gryffindor Tower fell into a deep, easy sleep.

I had surgery on Friday and oh my god recovery is a bitch. I’ve had my wisdom teeth out but ugh this is nothing like that. Good thing is by yesterday I was able to sit up in bed so I grabbed my laptop and typed like crazy because while you’re lying in bed with nothing to do you get so inspired. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you thought, Nina.
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A Marriage of Convenience