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Coming of Age (Female Potter)	By : stargazer67 Category: HP Canon Characters paired with Original Characters > Het - Male/Female Views: 11694 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Even after few weeks, Evie just cannot believe the change in Severus Snape when he’s with her now. He’s still essentially the same person he always was, but the fact that he’ll allow himself to smile, or laugh, or get a twinkle in his eye when he’s with her still surprises her frequently. Before now, she’d have sworn with her dying breath that Hagrid could be cruel to an animal before Snape could be happy. And to be honest, he’d probably have agreed with her on that himself.
But, other than the prior Headmaster's portraits, no-one knows about them; not even Ron and Hermione. The risk if he is unmasked as a supporter of Evie and the Order is too great; even if he somehow managed to survive the revelation of his true loyalties, he cannot continue to protect Hogwarts if he has to leave it to preserve his own life.

Severus has wondered where the twins are; he’d known they were with others while Evie was so deeply grieving, but he’d expected she’d have had them back long before now. But he hasn’t had the courage to ask in case it would be painful for her to talk about.
Finally he does ask her where they are, and for a moment her doubts come rushing back and she wonders why he’s asking. He sees the alarm on her face and can’t figure out why that would frighten her so, and then it comes to him that she probably was afraid he would reveal their existence after having seemed to have betrayed Dumbledore.
He takes her hand gently and says, "Evie - I never told them about your children. Even if I'd actually been the traitor that everyone thought, still I could not have done that. I could not knowingly put innocent children into their hands, though I can understand why anyone might think so given my actions. I just wanted to get to know them; they are a part of you, and part of getting to know you will be also getting to know your children. I did not mean to make you worry."
She is touched, and thinks she can also see in his eyes what he didn’t say; which is, that it would be important that he accept the children if they ever hoped to have a future together.
She begins to tear up as she says, "Actually, I don't even know where they are, exactly. They were sent off with Ted and Andromeda Tonks, maybe even out of the country; and while Dumbledore had felt that Voldemort likely could not read my mind at a distance, he was afraid even before now that face to face, I would not be able to hide the knowledge of it from him. None of the rest of the Order knows where they are for certain either, they are afraid of one of them being captured and someone like Bellatrix torturing the information out of them."
He has to agree with that, he knows what Bellatrix is capable of even better than Evie does. He folds her into his arms saying that when this is all over, he hopes that he can get to know them, with her help.
It’s just another measure for her of how much of an effort he is willing to make for her. She knows he’s well aware that they are Sirius’s children just as much as they are hers. But he’s still willing to overlook his animosity towards Sirius and get to know his children for their own sake, because he cares about her that much.
***********
A morning comes about a month later, when Evie wakes up feeling very ill. As she vomits into the toilet, it occurs to her that her last period was more than a month ago; in fact not long before she had that dream about Severus. She hadn’t been terribly regular anyway since Sirius’s death, her grief had caused her to miss them before (the first time it happened, she was hoping against hope that Sirius had made her pregnant again before his death, but she wasn’t).
When the nausea has passed, she sits down and considers this – she hadn’t really even thought of her and Severus having a child together (even though she also hadn’t thought about doing anything to prevent it, so swept away has she been in the moment every time they’ve been together).
She considers whether she should terminate it, because she's not sure either of them is ready for something like this. Lavender Brown had found the spell for that in their fourth year (though she never would say where); and she had taught it to the rest of the girls in their dorm at the time (Evie had paid attention only because she always had such a thirst for knowledge in general, but she’d honestly never figured she’d have any need to know it herself).
And, she also remembers Dumbledore’s frustration with her over her first pregnancy. He can’t come blasting into Grimmauld Place to confront her this time, but still, he did have a point the first time (about trying to shield the knowledge of it from Voldemort if she has to face him) and it’d be even more valid this time.
But what she’s really not sure about is Severus’s reaction. Either way, really. If she does decide to end it, he may be extremely hurt (and she wouldn’t feel right keeping it from him; plus if there was ever a need for him to resume the Occlumency lessons with her, he’d very likely discover it on his own). But, he may not want a child. Or he may want one even more than Sirius did. It’s impossible for her to guess because other than him asking about the twins, they've never talked about children at all.
However, even before trying to guess how he’ll feel about it, she decides she’s putting the cart before the horse a little; she really needs to pin down how she feels about it herself, first. The thought of having another child in general isn’t an issue to her, the issue is going to be more how she feels about having such a permanent bond with him.
Images flash into her mind in quick succession, like the momentary illuminations of a landscape when lightning flashes on a dark night. Her, crying when she thought he wasn’t going to come back after he’d fallen asleep and she’d gone to comfort him and had fallen asleep with him. Then crying bitterly, when she believed that he’d betrayed her and that she'd meant nothing to him. The possessiveness in his eyes and hands now, when they’re together. The gentleness as well, when he caresses her face or holds her. The way they are often able to communicate, without saying anything at all.
She’s always known that she cared about him, probably going back to the first time he ever showed her his human side. But she realizes now how much it had grown over time, in small increments; crossing over into love without her really being aware of it consciously. At this point, she actually can easily imagine spending the rest of her life with him. And raising a child with him. If it’s what he wants.
She doesn’t really want to share this with anyone before sharing it with him, but she is desperate for some advice or insight, so she goes to seek out Phineas. When he arrives in his portrait, he says, “You look like someone has hit you on the back of the head with a brick, child…what’s wrong?” Hesitantly, she tells him, and says that while she wants it, she’s just not sure how he’ll feel about it.
Phineas frowns, saying, "That's a tough one, I"m not sure either. Severus has always been a very difficult person to read, which of course has also been the main reason he’s been so successful as a double agent." Phineas thinks for a bit and then asks her to recall what he’s been like, with children; and he has to laugh as she makes a very wry face.
Still chuckling a bit he says, “Okay, so maybe that’s not the best example; what I actually meant was think about what he was like as your protector, when you were still a child. You know now that the reason he originally agreed to that role was his love for your mother; and despite his dislike for your father…“ (she snorts, she’d have called it a bit more than just ‘dislike’) “…still, his love for your mother extended itself to you even long before he cared anything about you for your own sake. If he could care enough about Lily’s child to be willing to risk his own life for her, I think it’s very likely that he’d care significantly more about his own child – and yours.”
She thinks about that for a moment and then nods, reassured. She asks Phineas not to tell him and he says of course he wouldn’t, it’s not his news to share and he wouldn’t think of it. He says he’ll probably stay absent from his Hogwarts portrait until she tells him, though; he probably wouldn’t be able to resist grinning at Snape like a Cheshire Cat in the meantime. Evie laughs and thanks him for his advice, saying now she just has to wait for him to arrive, and hope that he’s right about how Severus might feel.
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Coming of Age (Female Potter)