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Rejection: A Double-Edged Sword	By : brooklynvtc Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Harry/Ginny Views: 21247 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I do not make any profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 19
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- 21
Beside him, his dad snorted loudly in his ear, before replying, "Very funny, Padfoot. Now, be a good Dogfather and come greet your Godson."
Harry couldn't help the laughter that escaped him from that, as his eyes eagerly watched Sirius strut forward. Before he was close enough for both of his parents to reach out and tug him down, forcibly joining him in their group hug.
Chapter Twenty
It was a moment that Harry had never felt before. At last, he felt at peace. True peace. There were no worries about Voldemort in the back of his mind, nor were there thoughts on what Draco was up to... no dreading feelings of returning to the Dursleys this next summer, or thoughts of what Dumbledore had done to his hand. All that he focused on now, was that his family was here, in his arms. Where they belonged.
The only thing that could make it better was if Ginny were here in his arms, too. As well as all the other people in his life that he loved. Like Ron, Hermione, Remus, and the rest of the Weasleys.
But he was content to just spend this time with his parents and Sirius, alone.
It took quite a bit of time for all of them to calm down. And when they did, they merely held each other amidst the random sniffle and sigh of contentment.
It wasn't until his dad lifted his head from sitting atop Harry's, and a short laugh escaped him, did they all finally look up; curious.
They all looked to James, wondering at what he found to be funny at such an emotional time. James laughed again as he looked around Dumbledore's office with some wonder in his eyes. "I haven't seen you have a tantrum like this, since you were only one years old..."
Lily, herself, snorted as well. "Are you kidding? They were even worse than this! I thought that your accidental magic would be the death of us, sweetheart." She brushed back the fringe of his hair, trying in vain to flatten it.
Harry's eyes widened as he pulled back to look back and forth between both of his parents. "I had accidental magic... even back when I was so young?!"
All three of them nodded, as James replied, "That's how we knew that you were bound to be a powerful wizard."
This shocked Harry to no end. Him? A powerful wizard? It wasridiculous!
Sure, he was the 'Chosen One'... but the only reason why he was the Chosen One, was because Voldemort decided to put a target - or, rather, scar - on his forehead. And any run-ins he has had with 'The Dark Lord', has merely been a mixture of luck on his side, as well as talented friends who could get him out of trouble. His own magical ability had next to nothing to do with it.
"But I'm not even that powerful," Harry admitted, feeling somewhat ashamed for admitting this out loud in front of his parents. "Most of the time, it takes me forever to master a new spell."
Sirius snorted and shook his head. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Pup. You mastered a Corporal Patronus at the age of thirteen! Most adult wizards can't even do that!"
James nodded his head quickly and seriously at what his Godfather was saying. "Yeah, and, not to mention, how you perfected the 'Acico' spell in your fourth year!" Then, his face shifted into a beaming smile, a smile that Harry had never seen on his dad in any of the photos he had gotten from Hagrid in his first year. "That was bloody brilliant, that was! The way you faced that Horntail! Your mum would've had a heart attack, as we were watching, if she wasn't already dead!"
James started laughing, and Sirius immediately joined in, while Harry's eyes widened. He didn't know what to think... on one hand, it was great getting such praise from his dad. But it was strange being reminded that they were actually dead, when they were really right in front of him, at that moment. Though, he knew that if something like that had been said to him by anyone else, they would most likely be victim to whatever curse he threw at them. But it was different coming from his dad, his newfound father, who also happened to be dead. And, remarkably, Harry could actually find some bought of humor in what his dad said.
His mum, however, found no amusement in the joke, whatsoever. That much Harry could assess from the amount of fire in her eyes. A fire that reminded him of Ginny's wild temper. Though, he actually found it attractive on Ginny, alone... He knew that if the glare that his mum was sporting, was directed at him, he would be terrified. "James Charlus Potter! How dare you joke about something that is so sensitive to your only son!"
Immediately, Lily grabbed Harry all for herself, and held him tight in her arms. His head pressed firmly against her heart, where her hand held him. Harry really couldn't help but smile at his mum's possessiveness and protectiveness of him. It was all so foreign, but something that Harry would be happy to get used to.
"It's alright, mum," Harry amended on his dad's behalf, while sheepishly enjoying the feeling of being in his mum's arms. "Dad doesn't mean anything by it. I am surprised to hear that you two actually saw that bit with the dragon, though. Sorry you had to see that..."
His mum's fierce eyes turned on him, and as soon as they landed on him, they softened instantly.
"You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart," Lily said, giving him a tight squeeze for emphasis. "It wasn't your fault that you were forced to partake in such a barbaric tournament."
James nodded his head vigorously in agreement at that. "Yeah, and though the idea is wicked cool - and I know for a fact that if the Tri-Wizard Tournament were going on back in our Hogwarts days, I would've totally put my name in – but, I still don't understand what Dumbledore was thinking, hosting an event so dangerous! I'm just glad that you were powerful enough to compete without getting hurt. And that your mum and I were able to help you get away from Voldemort."
Harry shuttered at the memory of the graveyard, and his mum squeezed him closer to her in response.
But Harry pulled away slightly, just enough to sit up but still enclosed in his mother's embrace.
"You keep saying how powerful I am..." Harry said, quiet and hesitant. "But you can't possibly believe that's true. Hermione is far more superior with magic than I am."
"In all areas except for flying and Defense Against the Dark Arts." Sirius interjected. "And book smarts can only take you so far in the middle of a wizarding battle, Harry."
"Sirius is right, Harry," Lily spoke up from behind him. "Hermione and I are both similar in that regard. I was full of knowledge from all sorts of spell books, but your father had to train me how to duel after we had graduated Hogwarts. And I wouldn't have lasted long outside of Hogwarts, if he hadn't."
Harry frowned, not quite liking the idea that Hermione might be at risk if they were to find themselves in a situation where they would have to fight. He resolved right then and there that he would spend some extra time teaching the art of dueling in the D.A., which he had already decided to start the coming week. Already, he was thinking of techniques to show them. He didn't want anyone to get hurt in the coming war, if he had the chance. Especially where Hermione was concerned. She wouldn't get a scratch on her from Death Eaters, if Harry could help it.
"That still doesn't change the fact that I'm not exceptional at magic, like you all say," Harry finally said, after a moment of reflection. "Sure, I have some talent in D.A.D.A., but it's nowhere near to the powerful magic that you guys implied I had at one-years old."
They all went quiet as they contemplated this, each wearing their own little frown. Until finally, James spoke up. "I think that it may have something to do with your upbringing, Harry."
This brought Harry up short, puzzled by what his father meant by that.
"What do you mean?"
"We watched as you grew up, Harry. We couldn't watch all of the time, but we were able to grasp at what kind of home life you have..."
Harry's face became bright red, and he hid his face by looking at the floor, ashamed.
"What I mean to say is, Harry, that you've been told that you are a freak your entire life, and that magic was evil and not even real. I think that as a result from that, you are suppressing your own magic, yourself. Subconsciously, of course. But a part of you believes that you can't do it, because it has been ingrained in you that it is immoral and wrong to do magic. So, that part of you is holding yourself back from reaching your full potential."
As Harry heard his dad's explanation, his embarrassment and shame melted away, and reason took its place. It made sense all of a sudden! His problems with learning new magic wasn't because he wasn't a good enough wizard, it was because of-
"That damned walrus!" His mum snapped from behind, startling Harry. "It's not enough that he couldn't let you have a nice and loving childhood! Oh, no... he has to make you think that everything about you is abnormal, when being a wizard is a truly natural thing to be!"
Harry was so surprised by his mum's outburst - on his behalf, no less - that all he could do was gape at her as she continued on. But there was a small voice in the back of his mind that thanked Merlin, once again, that her anger wasn't directed at him.
"Mum, I-"
"And I don't even know where to start with my sister! I never would have thought that she hated me so much, that she would be alright with raising you, my only son, with nothing but abuse and neglect!" His mum started to cry then, and both Harry and James immediately had the instinct to comfort her.
Harry turned in her arms and wrapped her up within his own, while his dad went behind her and pressed up against her other side.
"Mum... it's fine, really," Harry said, trying to sound convincing, and just being able to manage it. "I'm over it..."
"That's the thing, Harry," His dad murmured, a deep sadness in his tone that Harry never imagined he would hear from his cocky and mischievous father... "You shouldn't have to get over anything. Because it shouldn't have ever happened in the first place. You deserved a healthy, normal childhood."
His mum sniffled in agreement as she buried her face in Harry's hair. And Harry couldn't find it within himself to disagree with them. Somehow, he knew that even denying his abusive past would hurt his family even more.
"It's all my fault," Sirius suddenly spoke up. And all three's heads snapped up to look at him.
Sirius' eyes were downcast, his entire demeanor filled with guilt and shame.
James, however, groaned out loud and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Padfoot! I've already told you that it wasn't your fault! The real people to blame are the Dursleys, Voldemort, and that traitorous rat!"
Harry nodded vigorously. "Yeah, Sirius. I've never blamed you. In fact, you made my life significantly better after I met you..."
Harry suddenly broke off, biting his lip in hesitation before releasing it and shifting his eyes away in shame. "There was actually something that I... well, I know that it doesn't fix anything and it probably doesn't mean much to you, but I'm sorry for getting you killed, Sirius."
Shock overcame Sirius' entire face, his jaw dropping in his surprise. So, Harry quickly continued, "If I hadn't believed that stupid vision that Voldemort had sent me to be true, if I had only just remembered the pocket mirror that you gave me, then you wouldn't have had to come rescue me and my friends from the Death Eaters. I put us all at risk, and you were the one that paid the price..."
Harry looked down at his hands, trying to keep the large lump in his throat at bay as he spoke. "It was all my fault, Sirius. I'm the one to blame for your death. I can't even understand why you can stand to be around me-"
"Alright. I think that I've heard enough." Sirius said, firmly.
Harry tried not to flinch at the amount of force in his Godfather's tone, knowing that he deserved Sirius' anger plus more.
But then he felt Sirius' hand at the side of his head, lifting his face so that he had to look into the grey eyes staring back at him, fiercely.
"We all have things that we aren't proud of in our lives, Harry," Sirius began, "But my death... shouldn't be one of yours."
Harry's eyes could only widen at what he had just heard.
"I was cocky, Harry. I didn't think that Bellatrix would get the upper hand on me. But I was wrong. And that miscalculation, my underestimating her, is what really led to my death. It wasn't your fault in the slightest."
Harry thought on his Godfather's words for a long moment, before quickly saying, "I would still like to ask for your forgiveness."
Sirius let out a long sigh, then he looked imploringly into Harry's eyes. "There's nothing to forgive, Pup."
"Regardless," Harry said, firm in his belief that this is what he really needed. "I feel better asking..."
Lily and James sat still beside him as Sirius studied his Godson, who was looking at his Godfather with pleading eyes. Before Sirius' shoulders relaxed and he nodded. "Then I forgive you."
A tightness that Harry hadn't even realized was in his chest, uncoiled... until it was nonexistent. And a lightness took its place. It felt as though he could finally breathe again, at last.
"Thank-you." Harry breathed, and his Godfather smiled at him with the amount of warmth that Harry had missed seeing, and then Sirius ruffled his hair affectionately. But then another question was plaguing his mind, weighing heavy as soon as it had been mentioned...
"How do I stop myself from subconsciously blocking my magic?"
He looked to his parents as he asked this, and a pondering look crossed both of theirs. His father, specifically, had a quizzical tilt to his brow. Until it unfurrowed, and understanding cleared his features.
"In order to find the solution to a problem, you have to first find the cause..." James clarified his revelation to them.
Lily's features lightened then as well, as understanding found her at what her husband was referring to.
Harry on the other hand, hadn't quite met the same conclusion as they had. As his features were scrunched up in deep thought into what the 'cause' was that his dad was referring to. And he forced himself to think about it…
"Well..." Harry started, brainstorming out loud. "You said that the reason why I was blocking myself is because Uncle Vernon has caused me to subconsciously believe that magic is wrong."
Sirius seemed to catch on then as well, as his face brightened then.
James nodded vigorously. "Exactly Harry. That hateful rhetoric is the cause of your block. But that's not the only thing. It's also because of the abuse and hatred you were surrounded by while growing up."
Harry didn't seem to get where he was going with this, so he merely stared at his father dumbly. But then his mum grabbed both of his hands into hers, and looked imploringly into his eyes. "What is the opposite of hate, Harry?"
And suddenly, it all made sense to Harry. Why Dumbledore kept going on and on about why love was the secret "power" in the prophecy. Why he was so much more powerful at magic when surrounded by his beloved friends in dangerous situations.
"It's love. That's what will help with my problem." Harry breathed, in awe.
All three of them smiled at him and nodded happily.
"Specifically, be more open and accepting to the idea of love," Sirius added.
Harry couldn't help but look at him quizzically. "I'm open to love." Harry argued, in what would have been a passionate voice if he wasn't so confused at what Sirius was implying. "I've been searching for a real family all of my life! People who would accept me and love me unconditionally. How is that not open?"
Sirius merely looked back evenly at him, a knowing gleam in his eye. "You can't lie to me, Harry James. I saw your dream... which was sickeningly adorable until your subconscious mind went and mucked it up by adding your uncle into the mix..."
Harry gaped at him while his parents looked back and forth between the two, curiously.
He couldn't believe that it was actually Sirius in his dream! And... and... he saw all of that. Saw his shame. His fear of his muggle uncle.
Sirius seemed nonplussed by all of this, and brought one of his hands up to tap at his chin in thought. "Now, what was it that your uncle was screaming at you in your dream? How you aren't deserving of love? Or some sort of other rubbish like that."
His mum gasped, and before she could say anything, Harry interjected. "Ok, ok... I guess I'm not as open as I would like to think."
Sirius nodded smugly, loving that he was proved to be right.
Lily squeezed the hands that she was still holding. "Harry..."
She waited until he turned his attention to her, and she looked imploringly into his eyes. "You do know that what your uncle said in your dream isn't true, right? Sirius, your father and I may be dead, but we will love you forever, no matter what."
"And it's not just us that love you, Son," James added, laying his own hands on top of both of theirs. "You have so many people in your life that love you just as unconditionally as we do. And as soon as you realize that, the happier you will be."
Loose tears leaked out of his eyes as he smiled at his parents. How had he managed to be so lucky, after all? He had the best parents. They were more than he had ever imagine them to be. His heart felt full to bursting.
But then Sirius huffed, feigning impatience, but distinctly trying to hide the redness in his own eyes. "Enough with the serious talk," Sirius said, while clearing his throat. "I want to know more about a certain red-head that you've been spending some time with."
His dad suddenly perked up with interest and he arched an eyebrow at his son. While, his mom merely donned a secret smile, which she tried to suppress.
Harry didn't really know what to say. He really wasn't sure what was going on with Ginny, but he knew that there was nothinggoing on between them, so to speak. At least, not anything that Harry wished was going on between them. So, Harry smirked mischievously, a smirk that much resembled his father's. "I don't know what you're talking about. I've hung out with Ron a bunch since our first year, but he's doing fine, I guess."
James and Lily roared with laughter, as a twisted look of exasperation overcame Sirius' face. "Harry James Potter, you know very well that I wasn't referring to Ron, you prat!"
Harry gave a few chuckles, before he smiled at his Godfather. "I know." Then Harry really thought about who Sirius was actually referring to, and gave a heavy sigh. "There's not much to tell, really. I mean, Ginny has been avoiding me... and she most likely doesn't feel the same way. Not since I rejected her last Christmas."
His dad gave out a snort, and replied, "You should have heard your mum as you rejected Ginny, Harry. She was screaming so loud, I was surprised that the living couldn't hear her!"
Sirius laughed loudly at that, and James merrily joined in, throwing one arm around Sirius' shoulders.
Lily, on the other hand, huffed, annoyed. "Well, can you blame me?! I've been rooting for Ginny since Harry first met her at Kings Cross! She was such an adorable, little thing! Wanting to go to school a year early, but was most upset at being left behind. How eager she was to meet you, Harry, and the way she ran after the train, waving goodbye!" Lily gave what seemed to be a chuckle and a sigh, "I always hoped that you would wake up and see what has been right in front of you, all along."
Harry thought back on the memory that his mum had painted, and realized - through the new filter of his love for Ginny - that Ginny had been quite adorable. Even way back then, when she was so young... only ten years old.
James let out a derivative snort, jumping Harry out of his thought of a young Ginny Weasley, and all three looked to him. "What? I just find it funny, coming from you, of all people, Lils. I mean, it took you much longer than Harry to wake up and see the handsome catch in front of you that you have tried to avoid for years."
Then he flashed a grin at Harry and ruffled his hair, while his mum rolled her eyes – obviously not wanting to argue against that point with his narcissistic father. "But don't worry, Son. I wore her down. That same can happen for Ginny."
And despite himself, his dad's own experience with his mum did give him hope. "Do-do you have any idea as to why she may be avoiding me?" Harry asked, somewhat uncertain. "I mean, first she was so concerned about me, that she took me to the hospital wing. But then she avoids visiting me throughout my entire stay, even though I know that she knows that I want her to come visit me."
Just saying it out loud gave Harry a headache as he realized how complicated it all was.
James and Sirius looked at one another in question, seeming to try brainstorming together without words.
Lily, on the other hand smiled slightly at Harry and brought one of her hands up to run through the hair on the side of his head. "I think that she may just be a bit overwhelmed, Sweetheart. A lot has changed for her this year, and it's bound to take its toll."
His eyes brows knit together as he thought about this. "Does that mean that she won't want any other big changes to happen? Like dating me instead of being good friends?" Harry frowned at the thought. "That's a pretty big change in dynamic of our relationship. Would she not want to, because she wouldn't be open to it?"
All three shook their heads. "No..." James mused. "Just because she is overwhelmed by the changes, doesn't mean that she wouldn't be open to some welcome changes. No matter how big those changes are."
Harry pondered this. "So, would my asking her out qualify as a welcome change? I mean, I know that it used to be... back when she still fancied me. But do you think that she would be open to giving me another chance?"
Sirius guffawed at this, and somehow, Harry knew that if Sirius had any need for breath, he would most-likely be in the middle of a coughing fit at the moment. "You can't be serious?!"
James' bark of laughter came then, and he opened his mouth to say something, when Sirius held up one finger to James to stop him. "And don't you dare say that he's not serious, because I'm Sirius." He looked sideways at his oldest friend, the slightest smirk on his lips. "Only I have the privilege to that joke."
Then he zeroed his eyes on Harry, once again flabbergasted, but not nearly as much as before. "Harry, you forget that I spent an entire summer, as well as last Christmas, with the Weasleys in Grimmauld Place. And I've heard some conversations between Ginny and Hermione from time to time. As well as gotten to know Ginny a little bit, myself. And got to observe the way she would act whenever you were around..."
Harry looked at him, still not quite getting what caused Sirius' outburst. "And...?"
"And," Sirius stressed dramatically, "I have come to the conclusion, the very same one that Ron had come to, that Ginny Weasley will always be in love with you."
Harry's jaw dropped.
James nodded his head in agreement. "I thought the same, Padfoot. I mean, how could she not? Harry is the perfect catch! The only trouble is getting her to accept it, once again. Be open to the idea of Harry, again."
Lily suddenly chimed in. "He needs a romantic gesture. Something that Ginny won't be able to ignore, and will have to respond to."
And it was as his three, very important, parental figures brainstormed ideas of how he could woo Ginevra Weasley, Harry couldn't help but smile as he watched and listened.
For the first time in his life, feeling completely full of love.
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Rejection: A Double-Edged Sword