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Duck Duck Goose	By : MysticSong Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 14140 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
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Chapter List
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Duck . . . Duck . . .
Goose!
By MysticSlave
Disclaimer: We own nothing but the
story concepts. All HP characters and similarities to the books are
JKR�s. Much to our disappointment.
Author�s Note:
Please review. And kudos to
anyone who can identify the source of the chapter title and why
Mystic picked it for this eleven-page, forty-six hundred plus
words chapter!
Love MysticSlave
Chapter
Twenty-one: The Return of the Native
It is a rare event for a Mother's first birth to be an easy
experience; the Father giving birth merely compounds the problem, as
Hermione and Severus were finding out. Madam Pomfrey had alleviated
their pain the best she could without putting them out completely or
putting their unborn children at risk.
The infirmary was quiet except for the strained groans and moans of
the two pregnant men. Severus in particular was having difficulty.
Male pregnancies were a common occurrence in the Wizarding world, but
currently housed in Seamus' body, put Severus at high risk; the young
Irish boy's boy just wasn't developed enough to handle a full-term
child ready to meet the world. His magical core in particular was
under a lot of strain as it fought to keep both Seamus' body and the
unborn life within it still alive; the pull of the child was greatly
diminishing the core. Poppy was quite worried; this was a new
experience to her, and she feared for Seamus, Severus, and the child
should the boy's magic dwindle too far.
As very few people had been allowed to know of the impending
pregnancies, there were very few people that came by to check on the
two suffering wizards, but those that knew circulated in and out as
their schedules allowed, with Harry, Ron, and Minerva being
constants. Were it not for having to attend or teach class, they
would have likely taken up residency in the infirmary.
Hours turned into days, and still the labour ensued, with seemingly
no hope that the births were coming. Albus watched over the two
nervously, as their bodies became swollen and red as their respective
blood pressures slowly increased as days passed without birth but the
contractions continued, bringing little rest to the two.
Approximately a week later, Poppy called Albus, Minerva, Harry, and
Ron into the infirmary. �I've made the decision to induce labour,�
she informed them quietly. �Going day after day without giving
birth is causing them anguish, and I fear for Severus being stuck
inside Seamus' body � his magical reserves are nearly gone.�
�I actually don't understand why you haven't induced already. I
don't know a lot about birth, of course, but my understanding from
things I've heard my aunt say, is that once a woman's water breaks,
if birth is not imminent, inducing the birth immediately is
mandatory,� Harry spoke up, confusion evident in his voice.
�For Muggles, your aunt would be quite correct, Harry� Poppy
explained, �but when there is magic involved, we are able to
sustain the infant's life for a period of two weeks after the water
breaks. Due to their current condition, however, I do not want to
risk waiting any longer. Minerva, if you could assist I would be most
grateful. Due to the sensitive nature of their predicament, I
hesitate to call anyone from St. Mungo's.�
Minerva nodded and quickly prepared herself in the manner Poppy
instructed. Albus cast a powerful locking and silencing charm on the
doors, and instructed Harry and Ron to sit quietly in nearby chairs.
Harry turned to Ron suddenly and whispered, �How do you induce male
labour? I mean, where is the baby going to come out of?�
Ron's cheeks were tinged red as he looked at Harry and just raised a
brow.
�Ouch!� exclaimed Harry, wincing at the thought.
�Yeah, well, the other option would be a lot more painful,�
muttered Ron, a bit squeamishly. �The only other thing they can do
is that Muggle see-section, that we overheard one of the girls
talking about from Muggle Studies.�
Harry nodded trying not to imagine how the Medi-Witch was preparing
the two pregnant wizards, but the more he tried not to think about
it, the more intensely the rather graphic images poured forth from
his imagination.
Trying to distract himself from what was going on, Ron speculated
aloud, �So, whose babies do you think they'll be having since
they're not in their own bodies?�
Harry looked at Ron dumbfounded. �I never even thought about that .
. . is there a way to test for that in the Wizarding world?�
�Huh?�
Harry smiled at his friend. �In the Muggle world, when there is
question as to the paternal parentage of the child, they can do tests
to find out who the father is.� Harry knew there was no point in
trying to explain about DNA to Ron.
Comprehension sparked to life in Ron's eyes. �Oh! Yeah, I've heard
that Medi-Witches are able to do some test if there is a question. I
bet this will be a challenging one though, considering all the
varybulls.�
�Variables,� Harry laughed.
�That's what I said!�
Harry just shook his head.
At least another hour passed before hurried movement became
noticeable around the two labouring wizards... witch and wizard?
Poppy stood at the foot of one bed, Minerva at the other; no sooner
were the women in place did the sound of squalling infants, fill the
room. The two witches smiled at each other, carefully holding two
infants a piece.
Harry and Ron raced back into the curtained area, drawing up short at
the realization that there were four babies. One with deep brown
curly hair, one with red hair, one with messy brown hair, and one
with ebony hair.
Ron's mouth dropped open at the realization that one of them was his.
Minerva looked his way and with an acerbic tone that would have made
the Potions professor proud, asked, �Do you care to explain, Mr.
Weasley? Mr. Potter?�
Before Ron could reply, Harry had asked, �They had two children
each?�
Poppy shook her head. �No, only the curly haired child is Miss
Granger's and Professor Snape's. The other three would appear to be
the product of you, Mr. Weasley, and Snape.� She frowned at the two
young men, obviously wishing to say something to them, when magic
began to pulse around the two exhausted child-bearing wizards. Poppy
quickly summoned a large bassinette for the infants so that she and
Minerva could tend to this newest calamity.
As the glow grew brighter, Dobby suddenly popped into the private
room. �Madame Poppy! Missus Hermione is having greatest of trouble.
She is glowing like Master Snape and Mr. Seamus is! But Missus
Hermione is also writhing. She be in much pain!� The House Elf's
tennis-ball like eyes seemed even wider than usual as he reported his
news. The elf suddenly turned and wrapped himself around Harry's
legs. �Master Harry, you must help your Missus Hermione. She is in
great pain, Master Harry! You must help too, Wheezy!� Dobby
exclaimed imploringly.
Harry carefully untangled Dobby's hands from his legs and looked at
the Mediwitch. �If you can carry your friend's body, it may be best
that she is in here as well. Merlin only knows what's going to
happen.�
Harry nodded and he and Ron went to fetch Hermione-Seamus from
another private room in the infirmary. Moments after her body was
carefully settled on a bed near the bodies of Professor Snape and
Seamus Finnegan, the glow began to pulse and shimmer in a multitude
of colours. Brighter and brighter it grew, slowly becoming amorphous
as the souls of the three became visible. Harry and Ron, despite
their recent interactions with a less caustic Snape, were still a bit
surprised to see the Professor's soul wasn't as dark as one would
have expected. He definitely had many shades to him, but his aura
radiated love and goodness. Harry came to the realization that Fawkes
must be able to sense this inner goodness about the man which
probably gave the Headmaster the utter sureness he needed to trust
Snape. No wonder it was The Order of the Phoenix!
The souls hovered in the air as if they were rather confused, before
slowly shifting over their bodies. Slowly, ever so slowly, the souls
sank into their true homes, and the light pulsed once more and then
disappeared.
Many hours passed before the weary souls allowed their bodies to
regain consciousness. An out-of-body experience is always tiring, and
two of the three of them had been wrenched away from their true
selves for the better portion of the year. Slowly, however, their
magics began to rebalance. But they would never truly be as they were
again. They had each experienced too much not to change, even if it
was just a little.
It took several days before the three were truly able to function
properly. They were, however, at a loss to decide exactly whom would
be caring for the infants.
Seamus initially felt he shouldn't have the responsibility of
Fatherhood placed in his hands as, although his body had been
pregnant, he did not truly feel that he had carried any of the
children, and really had no interest in being a Father. He was also
still rather traumatized by what the brief-lived new Potions
professor had done to him, although regular counseling sessions with
Minerva, the most devious righter-of-wrongs he had ever met, was
definitely helping him come to terms with his near rape. Poppy was
still trying to determine exactly what traits the children carried,
and how much the carrier of the children had to do with the
children's life as opposed to who had who's DNA. She still wasn't
quite sure she understood this DNA thing, but Hermione had explained
it as simply as possible, and promised the MediWitch some Muggle
textbooks so she could grasp the finer points, despite Poppy's vague
assurance that there was a simpler way to discover the truth.
As days passed, however, still uncertain if either child borne of
Severus' body were at all his, Seamus voiced the possibility of him
taking a bit of a parental role in the caring for the two children.
Unfortunately for Seamus, he made the comment within hearing range of
the Potion's Master who was in quite a snarky mood.
�You have the personality of a candle, Mr. Finnegan. Your only
interest is chasing blokes and birds; you're not fit to be a parent,
and certainly not to a child of mine!�
Seamus refrained from mentioning his thoughts on the matter again for
some time.
�That was harsh, Severus,� Hermione commented. �What brought
that on?�
The man shifted his weight from one foot to the other, thinking if he
really wanted to admit, but then decided she could just be as
embarrassed as he. �Your friend Mr. Weasley took it upon himself to
describe precisely how we each reacted when our souls were returned
to our natural bodies. Despite not being truly conscious, there was
evidently quite a bit of self-groping, to put it more tastefully than
Mr. Weasley phrased it. Evidently we wanted to reassure ourselves
that nothing was missing.�
�There was quite a bit of groan--�
�That will be quite enough,
Mr. Weasley!� roared Snape, his expression darkening.
�I see,� was Hermione's stilted response as her cheeks reddened.
-----
----
---
--
-
Harry and Ron were often found cooing at the two children whom they
closely resembled. Hermione and Severus found they both were
experiencing what Hermione called 'post-partum depression' even
though Hermione was now in her own body; one which had not carried a
child at all.
The most difficult issue that was on Hermione's mind was her
relationship with Minerva as compared to her relationship with
Severus. She had come to the conclusion that she loved them both
dearly although for completely different reasons and in completely
different ways. What was a girl to do?
She sat forlornly in her Head Girl's room, rocking the little baby
that was the obvious product of her one coupling with the Potions
professor. They hadn't quite decided how to resolve the parenting
issue. But, since she only had the one child to her name, and Severus
now had three, she took the child off his hands, promising to think
on the matter seriously, and perhaps to come up with a suitable name
for the little girl.
-----
----
---
--
-
A few weeks later, Hermione found herself in the Headmaster's office
with Minerva, Severus, Poppy, Seamus, Harry, and Ron, and several
infants, who were thankfully all sleeping.
�Sir, may I ask why you have called us all together?� Hermione
asked respectfully.
�Many students have been asking about what has happened, and I
believe now that the pregnancies have come to fruition, that it is
time to reveal what exactly happened over the course of the past
year.�
Not even Severus was exempt from a dropped jaw; they were stunned by
the pronouncement. Was the Headmaster completely off his rocker?
�Albus, you . . . you can't be serious!�
�I most certainly am, Severus,� the Headmaster replied in a most
serious voice. �The students have a right--�
�The students have a right
to invade my privacy? Our
privacy?� he ranted, gesturing at the students around him whom
Albus' inane idea would surely compromise. �You want children
telling their parents?� Severus thought perhaps he was having a bad
dream and when he woke up he would be cuddled up with . . . stop
that line of thought right now, Severus!
he told himself fiercely.
No one, however, could reason Albus out of his surety of decision,
and, eventually, the summoned group left his office defeated. In an
uncommon burst of goodwill, or perhaps he was still in shock, Severus
invited the lot of them down to his chambers.
Once there, and everyone was seated, Minerva spoke up. �Severus,
while I appreciate your sudden hospitality, I would like to know just
what you have in mind.�
Her younger colleague shrugged, seemingly at a loss for words;
sharp-tongued or otherwise. Minerva frowned when Hermione moved to
sit next to Severus, until the young woman patted the seat next to
her, and the Deputy Headmistress gladly ensconced herself in what she
considered her rightful place. That was another thing, Minerva
realized; how would the events of the past year effect her
relationship with Hermione? Would she want to leave her for the dark
man? She blinked back tears and waited to see if anyone had any
ideas.
�Severus, I've named our daughter.�
Severus' head snapped up from the dropped position in his lap and
looked at Hermione, a bit startled. �That's all you have to say
after what the Headmaster is doing to us?�
�I'm actually at a loss for ideas--�
�Merlin help us if you
don't have any ideas, Hermione!� sputtered Ron.
�--but I had come up with a name and figured now was as good as
time to tell you,� she concluded, ignoring her friend's outburst.
Severus nodded. �Well, out with it, then.�
�I've chosen 'Eloise Eileen Granger-Snape'.�
�You couldn't combine our surnames in some fashion?�
�You want our child to have the last name 'Grape'?�
�Certainly not. Hyphenation is tolerable; I was simply thinking of
it being a mouthful for a young child,� Severus replied, admist the
laughter in the room. �How did you decide on her names?�
�Well,� she replied, �Eloise means intelligent, which I am sure
she will be, given the two of us, and while Eileen is beautiful and
means 'light', I also know it is your Mother's name, and--�
�Thank you, Hermione, thank you,� he interrupted, gently patting
her hands. �It's a beautiful name.�
By unspoken mutual agreement, there was a long moment of silent
respect for the newly named child, and then, as discreetly as a
Gryffindor can, Seamus brought up his question again. �Do I have
any parenting rights to the children that Professor Snape had while
in my body? Or, at least, the child that seems to resemble me?�
Although the children that Severus birthed while in Seamus' body
strongly resembled Harry and Ron, the red-haired infant was starting
to show a few darker features. It was unclear, however, if they were
signs of Severus or Seamus.
�Do you think that any of Seamus' genetics are in the child,
Poppy,� asked Minerva.
�This is completely new situation, Minerva, so of that I am unsure.
I think it would be best for Severus to brew a paternity potion
before any judgement is made. I respect Seamus' willingness to take
part in the care of the child, especially since I know it was a bit
of a nasty shock when he found out, but I would also not advocate
that he take part in the exhausting care of raising a child that
simply isn't his.�
Severus nodded. �I'll start brewing it this evening, Mr. Finnegan.
I'll be making enough for several doses. Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Mr.
Finnegan and myself will all use the potion and see what the results
are.�
�Use?� questioned Harry.
�Yes, Mr. Potter. This is not a potion one imbibes; you will be
adding a drop of blood to the potion, which, when properly brewed is
deep red in colour. If it reacts positively to you, the potion will
turn white.�
�That's quite clever,� said Harry. �Loads better than the DNA
testing Muggles have to do for genetics testing, don't you think,
Hermione?�
�Oh, yes, most certainly Harry. Despite all my reading, I was
completely unaware such a potion even existed.�
�It's not typically on the student curriculum, Miss Granger. I do
feel, however, that given our collective experiences this year, Albus
simply must included a Wizarding culture class for our students.�
�I concur whole-heartedly, Severus,� stated Poppy. �And Albus
must make it part of the core curriculum; there's so many things that
Muggleborn students simply are not aware of that we take for
granted.�
-----
----
---
--
-
The potion actually took longer than planned, because one of the
children burst into tears and in surprise, the rarely startled
Potions Master dropped too little of an ingredient into the brew; it
was time-sensitive so he couldn't just add more and achieve the same
result . . . and had to begin again. This time, Hermione helped him
prepare the ingredients to speed up the process as much as possible.
After a measure of time, Severus began to decant the potion which was
blue.
�I thought you said it would be red, Professor,� questioned
Harry.
�It will be, Mr. Potter, but this is the base potion. To brew it
completely, I must add the essence of each child into the potion as a
starting point. Poppy will be taking blood from each of them in a
special manner for infants and children who are not aware of to
understand what is going on. When the vial turns red, I will split it
into four smaller containers. You will put a drop of blood into one,
as will Seamus, as will Ron, and as will I. If yours turns white and
mine turns white, than we are the parents. Also, despite that the
children each strongly resemble one of you two, all of us will test
for paternity for each child to be on the safe side. Do you all
understand?�
The three nodded, and Severus turned back to complete his task.
Finally it was finished and eight vials, holding a deep ruby red
potion, carefully labelled in Hermione's tidy script, sat ready for
testing. The men realized they were a bit nervous.
Slowly, deliberately, Snape held up a perfectly sharp and perfectly
sterile needle and pointed it at Harry. �Your turn, Mr. Potter.�
Harry sighed, and held out his hand. 'Plink! . . . Plink!' A drop of
blood fell into the first and then the second vial. The first turned
white; the second stayed red. Severus looked at the labels. �The
child that looks like you, Mr. Potter, is indeed your child; you have
no paternity claims for the red-headed child.�
Harry nodded and stepped back to Hermione's station for her to spell
the small wound closed. Severus was not the father of either child in
question; much to his relief. The thought of being a father to a
Potter or Weasley was just, well, revolting, and he had had quite
enough of revolting with his late evenings with the Deputy
Headmistress to last him a lifetime!
Seamus was the second father to Harry's child, and also the father to
the baby that resembled Ron. There seemed no reason to test Ron at
this point, but the Potions Master insisted.
It was a bloody good thing that he did too; the baby simply wasn't
Ron's.
After quite a bit of shouting, Severus, with Hermione's help � as
she was used to taming her two friends � the room was back under
control.
Mostly.
�How could it not be mine?� exclaimed Ron. �This baby looks
just like me! Look at his hair!�
�Me Mum had red hair, Ron,� Seamus announced, �it could be from
her.�
�Well who's the other bloke then, if it wasn't one of us?�
�Aye... That may take a bit of thinking, that one might,� Seamus
said, his Irish brogue slipping out a bit heavier under strained
nerves. �It could have been Draco, or Colin, or Fred or George that
time they visited, or Goyle or --�
�EURGH! You shagged Goyle!�
Despite the revulsion in the tone of the words, Hermione could not
help but laugh; the exclamation had come not only from Ron, but Harry
and Severus as well.
Seamus blushed. �He's quite a bit 'otter than when we was
firsties!�
Hermione laughed harder and shook her head.
Admist the giggles, Seamus whistled then leered at Ron, �Hey,
remember that fabulous shag in Filch's broom closet?�
Ron quirked a brow. �Seamus, are you taking the piss?� I never
shagged � or was shagged � with or by you in a broom closet.
Especially not Filch's!�
There was a long pause.
�That wasn't you, mate?�
Ron just shook his head.
�Oh,� gulped Seamus. �Wonder
who ...� and then he blushed. �You
think we could get another vial of that potion together, Professor?�
�And who exactly will be contributing to this one, Mr. Finnegan?�
�Neville.�
Severus looked at Hermione. �Please
let me be retired before that child
ever needs to learn Potions!�
An hour later, Seamus had brought Neville down to join the rest of
the group. The boy had never gotten over his upset from the beginning
of the year, and was very nervous when he saw a vial full of red
potion that had his name on it.
The feared Potions professor thrusting a needle at him and
instructing him to donate a drop of blood to the potion did nothing
at all to calm his nerves. Not wanting to irritate Snape, however, he
gingerly did as he was told, and watched as the potion, whatever it
was, turned white.
�Well, that settles it,� announced Snape. �Have a delightful
time in fatherhood,� he said, a bit mockingly, to Neville.
�Fa-fatherhood?�
�Did Mr. Finnegan not explain what you were being brought down here
for?�
Neville shook his head.
Severus sighed, �I'm surrounded by dunderheads.
�Hey!� exclaimed Hermione.
�I didn't mean you, dear,�
�Hey!� exclaimed McGonagall, who had surreptitiously followed
Neville in her animagus form. The others had been so tuned in to
discover if Neville was the 'missing' father, not even Hermione had
noticed the little cat curled up next to the door.
�And I thought my life was
complicated,� muttered Harry. �What are
you going to do about all this, 'Mione?�
�Miss Granger!� the Deputy Headmistress cried in embarrassment.
�Sorry, but it was a little hard
to keep it from them after they realized the truth about Professor
Snape's predicament. Besides, thanks to the Headmaster, apparently
the entire school will know in a few days, so Harry's right. It
really is in our best
interest to figure this out sooner than later.�
�Maybe we could all move away,� muttered Seamus.
�I hate to ask, but what precisely are you all talking about,�
asked Neville, confusion evident on his face.
�It's a long, long story,� Hermione said wearily, �but
basically, after the Potions accident at the start of the year, until
recently, I've been in Professor Snape's body and he was in mine �
and then he was in Seamus's and well. . . you know how he and Ron and
Harry are . . . and then there were pregnancies . .It's a bit
complicated.�
Neville was aghast at the trouble he had inadvertently caused, but
came to a helpful, he thought, at least for himself, conclusion.
�Hermione! That means that time you turned me down so, well,
rudely, it wasn't you at all, was it? It was Professor Snape!�
�Since I don't know what you're talking about, I'll assume that is
the case. What did I turn your down for, exactly?�
�I � I asked you to be my girlfriend, Hermione, and you said that
not only did you not like me that way, but that you didn't like me at
all! But I know that was just
the Professor being ... the Professor, so ...?�
�Neville, what about your time with Seamus? You're a father to his
child now.�
�I uhm... I like birds and blokes, Hermione, but I don't know if
I'm ready for a full-out relationship with a bloke; Gran would kill
me!�
�Well, you are right in that it was Severus just being himself; I
do like you, Neville, you're a good friend, but I really don't like
you 'that way'. I had a partner before all of this mess began--�
�An evil,
sadistic partner,�
Severus interjected.
Hermione just glared at him. �And to complicate things further, I
now have a child with Severus, and I like him quite a bit too. Life
really got messy this year. Oh, and I've been to a Dark revel, to top
it all off. I think I know how you can beat Voldemort, Harry.�
�Really? How?!�
�Challenge him to an Irish dancing competition.�
�'Mione! I thought you were going to give me serious advice!�
�She is, Mr. Potter; but you better learn from the best on the side
of the Light, because from what Hermione's shared with me in a
pensieve, the Dark Lord has got one hell of a sense of rhythm.�
The expression on Harry's face was priceless as he muttered, �But
I'm total pants at dancing! Can't I just duel him?�
�I do believe this entire thing has gone completely pear shaped,�
Minerva sighed. �However, I can try once again to teach you to
dance, Mr. Potter. I also know a few people who should be able to
give Vo- Voldemort a run for his money. We'll probably want to view
the memory that Severus is referring to as well, so we know what
we're up against.�
�Severus, do you think Harry could get away with being the only
dancer? From my experience, it probably wouldn't hurt to have several
people primed and ready to go dance with the Inner Circle as well,�
interjected Hermione.
Severus nodded. �I think that would be wise. Minerva and I are both
skilled in the various dances that the Dark Lord would know, despite
his half-blood status, and can train you and your friends in proper
dancing etiquette.�
�I could probably use a brush-up myself,� mused Ron. �I was
never very interested when Mum tried to teach the lot of us.�
�Me too,� murmured Neville. �Gran said I didn't have enough
coordination to learn. But if it will help Harry taken that monster
down, I want to be at his side!�
�Guess we've officially got ourselves a Dancing Association, huh,
Hermione?�
�Oh, Harry,� Hermione laughed.
To
be concluded in chapter twenty-two. Please, please, please, please
review, we beg of you. We really want to know how you like what we're
doing!
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