Learning Life Over | By : Meander Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 69712 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I am sorry about the cliffhanger in the last chapter- except
for the fact that it was a perfect place to end it.
A few questions answered at the end of this one. In the
meanwhile, enjoy Chapter 21!
Chapter 21- A Decision to Make
Wormwood’s
face fell when Harry didn’t immediately move towards him. “Harry?” he asked
tentatively. “That is you, isn’t it?”
That
question he could answer, and any question he could answer sounded like a good
thing right now. His heart beating fast in his mouth, Harry nodded.
The other
man relaxed. “That’s good,” he said, and held out the hand that didn’t clutch
his wand. “We should leave, shouldn’t we? Mrs. Malfoy told me the truth. Her
son is a bit unstable, which means that he won’t go to Azkaban for this, and
she can work out a deal with the Ministry whereby she takes care of him. But it
does mean that we should leave as soon as possible, in case Draco Malfoy
catches us.”
Harry felt
as if he were standing underwater, staring at Wormwood across a chasm. How
could he leave now?
How could
he stay?
Going with
Wormwood would offer him everything he still wanted. Quiet, peace, a life where
he helped people. And if he died in a few years, well, it had been a good life.
Staying
with Draco would cost him so much effort. He was aiming for a life like the one
he’d enjoyed when Ron and Hermione were still alive, but who knew if he would
ever get there? Far better to save what he could, clutch what little scraps of
happiness came his way, and just be grateful that life still had room for a
worn-out hero.
He took a
step forward.
And Draco,
of course, chose that moment to arrive behind him in a swirl of robes and call
out, “Harry?”
*
It had
taken Draco forever to find Harry.
The idiot
could run so fast that he was out of sight in seconds. Then Theresa’s
urgent calls of his name had deterred Draco; he thought Harry had hurt her with
his wandless magic, only to find out that she was just convinced that Draco
shouldn’t go after Harry, but “give him some time to recover.” Then he’d tried
to ask Trippy, but she’d covered her ears, whimpered, and vanished. Draco
thought his mother had probably ordered the house-elves not to assist him.
So he’d
searched their bedrooms, and the Quidditch Pitch, and only thought of the
garden when he saw a drift of apple blossoms rising in a spiral that couldn’t
be natural from the direction of the orchard.
And now he
arrived here to find a man he recognized as Harry’s newest partner narrowing
his eyes and raising his wand, and Harry standing between the two of them.
Harry turned to look at Draco with an absolutely desolate expression on his
face, and Draco almost ceased to care about the Auror.
“Harry,” he
whispered. They were stuck on a pinnacle, and it wasn’t one he’d managed to
plan for, even if he’d orchestrated everything else. “Come on. We made a
bargain. Are you just going to walk away from this?”
“I’m tired,
Malfoy,” Harry said simply. “And it would be easier to walk away from this. You
know that as well as I do.”
“Which is
why you would never do it.” Draco eased a step closer, then regretted it as
that made Harry retreat. He was probably thinking more about getting away from
Draco than going towards Wormwood, but Draco had no doubt that, once Harry was
in reach, the Auror would grab him and Apparate out of the Manor. And then it
would be all too easy for Harry to start thinking he’d never wanted to spend
time at the Manor at all- which was true enough to make Draco’s head hurt.
“You’re a Gryffindor. They don’t take the easy paths.”
Harry gave
him a smile which had never known humor. “It’s been a long time since I was a
Gryffindor, Malfoy. A long time since I was anything but an Auror.”
Wormwood
smiled, clearly pleased by that announcement. Draco was not. He had invested so
much time trying to make sure this wouldn’t happen, that Harry couldn’t leave
the Manor until he’d seen the wreck of his life and admitted he needed help.
And now it was all upset by a random chance.
Chance,
and your mother.
And Draco
could see the plan now, of course. Even if Narcissa really had thought that
Harry wouldn’t leave the Manor, she’d had this as a backup plan. And perhaps
she had seen more of Harry’s true character than either of them would
like to believe. Placed in the reach of temptation, he could easily go back.
She had counseled Draco to make Harry retreat from him, for one thing, and had
Draco actually been willing to give Harry up, that tactic would have worked.
“You have
him under some sort of enchantment, Malfoy.” Wormwood’s voice was scornful.
“That’s all right. I’ll remove it, and then you can go back inside your pretty
house and let your mum take care of you.” He pointed his wand at Harry and
quickly intoned, “Finite Incantatem!”
Harry just
blinked his eyes and shook his head. “It wasn’t an enchantment, Wormwood,” he
said. The smile was gone, and he just sounded- weary. “It was a stupid dream
that he convinced me to believe for a little while. But I don’t believe it any
more.” He turned his back on Draco. “Let’s go.”
Draco could
have stopped him- raised the Manor’s wards against him, for one thing. He still
had greater control of them than his mother did. He made a mental note to make
sure he transformed them so that he had sole control. Letting Narcissa
be able to lower them without his knowledge had been a mistake.
But he knew
Harry had to stay here of his own free will, or the healing Draco and Theresa
both hoped for wouldn’t happen.
That didn’t
mean he couldn’t persuade him, though.
“Harry,” he
called, and Harry lifted his head at the sound of his voice. He was responsive,
whether he wanted to admit it or not, just as he hardened at Draco’s touch.
“Think about what you’re going back to. A few years, and it could all fall out
from under you. Do you want that?”
“Don’t
listen to him, Harry,” Wormwood whispered confidingly, as if entrusting Harry
with a great secret. “He’s mad.”
But Harry
turned around and directly addressed Draco, ignoring his partner’s unsubtle
tugs at his arm. “I want it,” he said. “It’s easier. I don’t have to think over
my words every time I say them. I don’t explode in fits of magic, because I can
keep my emotions under some kind of fucking control.” The trees
shuddered, then settled back into place again, and Harry shuddered as if in
sympathy. “Don’t you see, Malfoy? You should be happy I’m going. You’re in
danger around me.”
“And what
about the other people in danger around you, when what Theresa predicted
happens?” Draco asked. He hated to play this card, but, at the moment, Harry’s
choice to stay was more important than the reason he made it. Harry had to
remain. They could work on changing his reasons later.
“Who’s
Theresa?” Wormwood demanded, his wand swinging back to reorient on Draco. “Your
little partner in this mad escapade to enslave my partner?”
Harry
quivered. “I just- I can’t think about that, Malfoy. I’ll deal with that when
it happens, I suppose.”
“And how
will the people around you deal with it?” Draco demanded. “The innocent victims
you’ve spent your life serving? What will they do when you become a Dark Lord,
one harder to predict than Voldemort, because you’ll be so totally insane and
so completely starved of human affection and company?”
Harry
turned his head away. Draco could practically see the bleeding chunks the words
had torn off him. He was sorry to do it, but he had been willing to hunt Harry
down in the first place and plan for two years to help him. He wasn’t above
speaking a few cruel truths.
“That’s enough,
Malfoy.” Wormwood was trembling with righteous indignation. “I’m going to see
that you get taken to Azkaban after all. You’re manipulative, and you don’t
have the right to say those things to Potter.”
“They’re
true,” said Draco, not moving. He knew he was better and faster with a curse
than some pissant little Auror. Besides, Harry couldn’t see him making a
hostile move against Wormwood. It might be the thing that would decide the war
going on in his head right now. “He knows they’re true, and he knows why. He’s
had some very interesting conversations in the last few days. And I’ve heard
them. He can be selfish, the way he has been all these years, and cut off
contact with anyone else, and doom half the city, or he can actually come here
and try to start living like a human being again, with someone willing to help him.”
“Stop,”
Harry whispered. “Please stop.”
And then
Wormwood moved.
The spell
he cast at Draco was nothing more than a minor hex compared to some of the Dark
curses Draco had dealt out in his time, but it was still one that was disabling
and painful.
And Harry gave an inarticulate
shout and threw himself between Draco and the curse, using his body as a
shield. He was down in the dirt a second later, twitching and convulsing, his
hands pressed to his stomach.
Draco
flicked his own wand out, binding Wormwood and Stunning him. His eyes were wide
and unseeing, fixed past Draco, while his wand clattered to the ground.
Draco
strode over to Harry then, and whispered, “Finite Incantatem. Hush,
Harry, it’s all right.”
Slowly,
Harry relaxed from around the center of his pain. Draco stroked his hair,
marveling at the way Harry cuddled closer to him. The motion made his choice
clear, if the sacrifice of himself to save Draco hadn’t. Harry had decided to
stay here and risk the harder road, to strive for friendship and humanity.
Just
like a Gryffindor.
Draco
called Hoppy, and the young house-elf appeared immediately. “Fetch a Calming
Draught,” he whispered. He was sure that Harry would try to refuse the potion
if Draco gave him too much time, while, with the vial pressed against his lips,
he would probably give in. Hoppy gave him a solemn nod and vanished. Draco let
out a breath of relief. Narcissa had only given the house-elves commands not to
help him locate Harry, most likely. Matters would have been far harder if she’d
given a comprehensive command.
Of course,
that would have given her game away much earlier.
Draco
crouched next to Harry, stroking his hair with one hand and keeping his voice
low and soothing. Wormwood could hear him from here. Besides, Draco was saying
the words mostly for his own satisfaction.
“You’re
going to leave here, and you won’t trouble Harry again. I’ve watched you. I’ve
heard what you said about him when you weren’t in the office. You don’t care
for him as a friend.
“He’s your
ticket to glory, isn’t he? You were going to be the latest one who shared his
captures and took on credit you didn’t deserve. Harry works his arse off, but
he isn’t ambitious. That means that other people can take all the advantages he
should have had, could have had if he wanted them.
“You only
came to get the Auror back. You don’t care about Harry the man. Unfortunately,
given that you’re an Auror and I don’t have a copy to replace you, I
can’t kill you, and I can’t make you suffer the way I’d like to, for hurting
him and disrupting his healing. I can only do this.” Draco aimed his wand
straight at the bound, terrified man. “Obliviate.” He’d never spoken the
spell with so much smugness.
Wormwood’s
jaw dropped open and slack. Draco wondered how much he would forget- everything
concerned with Harry, of course, but there might be other things. Draco didn’t
care. He indicated to Hoppy that he should take Wormwood outside the Manor and
release his bonds, and the little house-elf was more than happy to oblige.
Then Draco
turned, cast a Lightening Charm, and picked Harry up, just as he had that night
when he first took him, when he fell limp and relaxed in the alley. This time,
the façade was completely broken, and Draco’s hold was tighter than it had
been, more protective.
He
suspected the breakdown Harry had been fighting had come at last.
He took the
vial of Calming Draught Hoppy had handed him, but then hesitated, and slid it
into the pocket of his robes. He could always use it later, such as if Harry’s
wandless magic became dangerous. For now, though, it might be best to let Harry
work through his emotions and come to the conclusions he needed to come to,
without forcing them back into submission.
*
Harry could
feel the tears burning at the back of his eyes. By contrast, his throat was hot
and dry, like the desert at high noon.
It wasn’t
the pain from the curse, God knew. He’d suffered much worse in his duties as an
Auror and rarely done more than clench his teeth to hold back the cries. But
what it meant, that he’d lunged to get in between the curse and Draco instead
of just drawing his own wand and stopping the whole thing-
He’d chosen
this.
But he was
so tired.
He could
feel himself getting ready to fall, and he fought it. He didn’t want
this. He didn’t want to yield to the emotions. God, it felt as if he had years
of accumulated tears to work through. And given that he couldn’t remember
really weeping since the night the Weasleys died, that might even be accurate.
Draco’s
hand stroking his hair seemed prone to force the tears out of him. Draco’s arms
around him told him it was all right to relax and let them come, and his voice
murmured the identical words, over and over again, low and soothing.
Harry
fought. It wasn’t manly to cry. It wasn’t like an Auror to cry. He couldn’t
afford it. He knew what depths of bitterness and grief and emotion waited
underneath.
It was too
much, though. The first sob escaped him, and he curled up and began to weep
frantically.
Draco
supported him, and didn’t tell him to hush, didn’t tell him to bear it, didn’t
scorn him. He just held him, and said it was all right.
This was
going to change everything between them. Harry knew it, and yet right now he
couldn’t bring himself to care. He was so tired.
He gave in.
*******
Minue: The
conclusions Draco comes to in this chapter about Narcissa’s actions are
essentially correct. Narcissa arranged matters so that Draco wouldn’t be in
legal trouble for his actions (and so she could hold the threat over his head).
Catbeastaisha:
Harry’s wandless magic awakens with his emotions. Before he struck the bargain
with Draco, Harry was too deeply repressed to use it to escape, and now he
doesn’t really want to.
SLQ:
Narcissa did try to solve the problem, in her own way.
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