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For Their Unconquerable Souls	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 29229 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter Twenty-One�The
Limits of Certainty

�� Harry is behaving so much better now.

�� Draco was
keeping his eyes on the book in front of him, which described dreambane and the
various potions that contained it, but now and then he darted the edge of a
glance at Harry, who sat across the table from him in the library connected to
Harry�s rooms. Harry was manifestly not keeping
his eyes on the book in front of him. He shifted from moment to moment,
grumbling under his breath and kicking one leg out as if he would relieve the
tension of his shoulders that way. Now and then he sighed as if the mere fact
of study were hurting his head. Then he would reach out and turn a page in the
book as though it were weighted with stones.

�� Draco
normally wouldn�t have found that sort of thing conducive to study, but he had
studied dreambane before, for his exams in the Potions mastery, so this was
more revision than a new learning experience. He was more interested in the way
that Harry had relaxed enough around Draco to show his boredom and fear. He no
longer thought that he had to be on his best behavior to placate the Malfoys.

�� And he�s taking lessons from Rogers, and he�s
accepting the food that we give him, and he�s actually making use of the bed
now. Draco would have preened himself about that last if he�d been a bird.
As it was, he could smooth a finger over his lips and watch Harry without Harry
noticing. Despite the way he sometimes looked at Draco, Harry was too involved
in his own discontent and discomfort to notice anything else. We�ll turn him into a proper Malfoy yet.

�� Draco tried
to control the smugness he felt and remind himself that it could all backfire�for
one thing, Harry might not take being told that he was a Malfoy in behavior as
well as name now kindly�but he couldn�t. He needed some good news, damn it. He
had learned that Harry was almost certainly abused by his Muggle guardians, his
father was the victim of enemies more clever than he had surmised, he would
have to send one of the house-elves out for more ingredients for the Jason�s
Draught he was brewing to repay his father�s friends, and his mother was in a
strange mood today, quiet and slant-eyed. He deserved to be able to look at the
man he was falling in love with and know that he would be better-fed and
better-protected when he became a Malfoy than he ever had been in his life
before.

�� Harry
hissed under his breath and gave an uncomfortable little wriggle he probably
wasn�t even aware of. His shoulders hunched like a vulture�s wings. Draco eyed
them sideways and then stood, moving quietly around the table, reaching the
other chair just as Harry started to stand.

�� He put his
hands on Harry�s shoulders and leaned over to whisper into his ear. �Leaving so
soon? And here I was just about to ask you if you wanted a massage. Your
shoulders have been tempting me for the past half-hour.�

�� Harry
started to turn his head and open his mouth, doubtless to complain, because that
was what he did, but then he slumped forwards and groaned instead. Draco smiled
triumphantly. He did know how to give
a good massage, a legacy of having Blaise Zabini as a lover for two months. Blaise
had been insistent that anyone who stayed with him would know how to give a
good massage. And, at the time, Draco had been desperate to stay with him, because
Blaise was the cleverest and most skilled lover he had ever had.

�� Now, he
couldn�t remember why that had made such a difference. What was Blaise compared
to Harry? What was a pair of restless hands and an inventive tongue next to the
way that Harry�s eyes flashed when he was charging some obstacle head-on,
determined to knock it to the ground like a mountain goat using his horns?

�� But he had
at least left Draco with one excellent legacy, since Harry was moaning and
dropping his head forwards on the table as if he wanted to go to sleep. The sight
of him enjoying this so much was enough to make Draco harden again. He had to
swallow hard to resist the impulse to frot against the back of the chair, a few
inches from Harry�s spine. He fixed his eyes on the way Harry squirmed and sighed
instead, and went on stroking and digging deep and probing for the tension and
working it away.

�� Of course,
just when he was really beginning to enjoy this as much as Harry was, Harry
pushed himself back from the table. �You could have fooled me,� he said. �I
thought you were concentrating absolutely on that potions book.�

�� I have the
ability to absorb information and think about something else both at once.� Draco
let his laughter, partially at himself, into his voice. He had never felt less
capable of managing multiple tasks than he did at the moment. He wanted to lay
Harry down on the table and start learning his body the way Harry had tried
learning the books. �Amazing, I know.�

�� It is,�
said Harry, and his voice held a drugged honesty that pleased Draco very much.
Just for that, he used both hands in a circular motion that had always managed
to soothe Blaise�s temper after a hard day of soaking in his hot tub and
quarreling with his mother. Harry hissed, and Draco saw his eyes briefly roll
back in his head. �You�re amazing,� he whispered.

�� So you say
right now,� Draco said, dizzy with relief and desire and amusement. �I also
want to make you scream it, whimper it, and whisper it into my ear when you�re
so sated that you don�t think you can move again.� He bowed his head and licked
the back of Harry�s neck. Harry shuddered and arched as if he wanted to shrug
off the touch and welcome it at the same time. �I�m told that I�m a more than competent lover.�

��

�� Dangerous, perhaps, to press so fast�but he�s
doing so well in the other aspects of being a Malfoy that I thought he would
still have trouble with by this time. I think he�s ready. Besides, I want him. And
Draco had put up with a lot in the last few days, God knows. The list of things
he needed relief and distraction from ran through his head again, and he
growled and rubbed his erection against the wood of the chair, wishing it were
more yielding.

�� Harry�s
thoughts seemed to have been running down an entirely different course. He had
an authoritative tone to his voice when he said, �Draco, stop now.�

�� Draco
stopped the massage, but Harry hadn�t specifically referred to his other
behavior. He kissed the back of Harry�s neck again, wishing he could cast a
nonverbal spell that would summon extra warmth to his lips. The warmth would
melt into Harry�s muscles, relaxing them and making him think of other things�

�� Harry shook
his head, and hit Draco�s nose with his skull when he did. Draco couldn�t keep
the irritated curse behind his lips. At least Harry sounded properly contrite
when he said, �I�m sorry.� But he at once added, �But I want to speak to you
face-to-face,� which didn�t sound very promising.

�� Draco
stepped away far enough so that Harry could turn around and face him. Harry didn�t
rise to his feet, though, as Draco had thought he might after that little
speech. Instead, he braced his arms on the back of the chair and took several
quick breaths like a recovering racer. His hair hung in his face, making his
eyes hard to read.

�� Draco leaned
his hip against the table and tossed Harry his best injured look. It didn�t
cost him much effort when his nose genuinely hurt.

�� I�m
sorry,� Harry repeated. One more deep breath, and he was racing down a tumble
of words. �Listen. Every other relationship I�ve had has ended because I
couldn�t be what the people involved needed: a hero, or a caretaker, or
flexible enough, or a passionate enough lover. It�s more than pleasant of you
to offer me what I need, and to do it
so well. But I don�t know if I can offer you the same thing. Have you
considered whether I can really give you anything beyond companionship from
someone who�s part of the same family? What tastes of yours do I fulfill? What
do I do that attracts you? I don�t understand the same pure-blood customs or
have the same ideals, you know that already. I can learn them, but that�s not
the same thing as knowing them from birth. I haven�t even spent that much time
on you, compared to the time I�ve spent trying to heal Lucius. Are you sure you want this? Are you sure that
you wouldn�t rather have a hard shag from someone who understands you better
and gives you more than a physical pull?�

�� Draco sat
there, blinking. He felt as if someone had reached out and slapped him hard across
the face.

�� Harry was
worried about that? He was fitting in
so well at the moment, and he was worried about that?

�� Or, perhaps
even more to the point, he possessed so many talents, such strength, such
beauty, and such stubbornness�stubbornness that had kept him from giving in to
Draco right away and thus boring him, as had happened with several of his
lovers in the past�and he still thought he couldn�t be what Draco needed?

�� Draco
wondered for a moment where he would find the words to explain the mess to him.
Especially because he doubted Harry would take him at his word when he began.
Harry was clinging to the ideas the Muggles had planted in his head, that he
was not worth anything and that anyone�s love for him was conditional. He had
to do something to earn it, and he
never seemed to think he had done enough. Draco might reassure him, but those
reassurances would probably only last until he was out of sight.

�� In the end,
honesty was the only refuge, as his mother had foreseen.

�� Damn her, anyway.

�� If you
were anyone else,� Draco said at last, �I would call you a manipulative brat
fishing for compliments.�

�� Harry
stared at him. Now it was his turn to look as though someone had just tried to
strike him between the eyes.

�� But you
really are stupidly noble enough to believe everything you just said to me,�
Draco said in a contemplative tone. He folded his arms behind his head, keeping
his eyes more on the wall than on Harry. He could approach this serious matter
best by pretending that it wasn�t so serious. �All right. I never thought I
would have to bare my soul twice in confession inside a week�it�s rare enough
that my mother and father get to hear about it�but you�re worth it.�

�� Look,
Draco.� Harry pushed himself back in the chair, away from Draco. His arms shook
as he folded them across his chest, and Draco felt a distant pity. He has to push everyone away, even someone
he knows wants him. He can give love, but he can�t receive it. �You don�t
have to justify yourself to me. I never meant to cause you pain. You can just��

�� Do shut
up,� Draco said. �I need to think about how to phrase this, and you aren�t
helping with your chatter.� He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, as if
he were staring at the ceiling through his eyelids. Maybe he could pretend that
he was talking to himself, rather than to a nervous audience who might well
disdain his words.

�� All
right,� Draco said at last, without opening his eyes. �I told you that I
thought your nobility was an act. And then I learned it wasn�t, because I was
watching your face when you cast the Heart�s Blessing spell. You never
hesitated. You reached out with your life force and your blood to protect
someone you had every reason to hate.

�� I had
dreamed sometimes of finding a lover like that, but I knew I never would,
because someone like that would have no reason to become my friend or my lover
in the first place.� He grinned then, remembering a few wide-eyed Potions
mastery students who had tried to do him favors. �The few people I knew who had
a chance of developing their self-sacrificing instincts had to drop them when
they found out what being surrounded by former students of Slytherin House
meant. But I wanted someone I could trust,
as I could only trust my parents. That�s a simple desire, isn�t it? One that
millions of people have every day, and can gratify whenever they want.� He swallowed
against the bitterness that wanted to overcome him. This was part of the price
to pay for being pure-blooded. If one could only be safe in one�s home,
surrounded by one�s family, it was rather disingenuous to assert that one also wanted to be able to trust random
strangers.

�� I�ll not
deny that I also wanted someone capable of standing next to me and protecting
me��

�� So did
Xavier,� Harry snapped, and Draco choked on the comparison. �I want this too,
Draco, but I�ve already seen what happened when someone needed me to be a hero,
which I�m not anymore, and��

�� Shut up, I
said.� Draco opened one eye and glared at him. Harry didn�t look chastened
enough. Well, Draco would have to hope that his next words would do it. �Yes,
you�re capable of protecting me, just as I�m capable of protecting you. What I really didn�t want was some
fainting flower or someone who assumed he needed to wait on me hand and foot
and never let me do anything for myself. And unfortunately, I met many
specimens of one sort or another in circles of society obsessed with power
dynamics, which I often travel in.� He felt familiar irritation, then. Pure-bloods
spent so much time around power that they should understand it better than other wizards. Instead, what
Draco had found was that they tended to pursue the extremes, the dominance and
submission, and ignore the rich, complex, constantly changing ground in the
middle. �But you can gratify that desire,
too. You have power, you wield it, but you�re not obsessed with it. You even
have more than one kind of power, because you have a Healer�s hands as well as
a fighter�s wand.� He hoped Harry would hear innuendo in those words, but from
the way Harry gaped at him in shock, he was too busy being stunned by the
baring of Draco�s soul. Well, that was also an acceptable reaction.

�� And you�re
part of my family now. I can relax around you as I can�t around others.� Draco
smiled, and reveled in the sheer relief that bathed him. This was one less
enemy to watch his back around, and more than that, it was someone whose
friendship and companionship he had longed for since they met. �Add to that that
I find you physically attractive, stubborn enough to intrigue as well as
infuriate me, and rather cleverer than I�d expected, and I�d say that yes, this
will be more than a quick shag or a disappointing relationship that lasts a few
months.�

�� Harry
licked his lips, staring at nothing. Draco watched him and wished he could know
what was going on in his head.

�� That�s the real reason I want him to be a
Malfoy. Not because I want to control him, but because if he thinks more like
me, then I�ll understand him better, and these long times of not knowing where
in the world he gets a certain perception or a certain way of thinking or acting
or being will cease.

�� All
right,� Harry said softly, but Draco was listening hard enough for it that he
heard the words like a shout. �I�ll try.� He grinned suddenly. �And I think
I�ve been rather remiss in an activity we�ve already shared.�

�� What?�
Draco felt his breathing speed up and his eyes widen. It cost him an effort not
to hide it, but he made that effort. If Narcissa was right, honesty was the way
to win Harry�s heart, and Draco didn�t want to hide arousal from him, of all things.

�� Kissing,�
Harry said, and stood up and cradled Draco�s head, his fingers running through
his hair. Draco swallowed and gazed up at him, wordless. Harry leaned in and
kissed him.

�� It was
beautiful beyond reckoning when Harry�s tongue entered his mouth. It was sweet
and salty and warm, but Draco wasn�t one to let a lover have it all his own
way, especially someone like Harry, who needed to be taken care of so badly. He
grabbed Harry�s shoulders and returned the kiss, twice as powerfully, twice as
demandingly. Harry gave a little laugh of delight into his mouth and partnered
Draco, letting him take control since he wanted it, but snatching it back again
the moment Draco faltered.

�� Harry
shoved him backwards in small hops, and then they toppled over the library
table and to the floor. Harry twisted to cushion Draco like the idiot he was.
Draco still grunted as all the breath was driven out of his lungs. He gasped to
get it back again, and then began to laugh. The implications of their position
hadn�t escaped him.

�� Anyone
might think you liked being pinned beneath me,� he said. He extended his limbs
languidly to the sides, grasping Harry�s wrists with his hands, Harry�s legs
with his legs.

�� Anyone
might think you talk far too much and imagine audiences watching you when you
should be concerned with the judgment of someone far closer to you,� Harry retorted,
and began kissing Draco again, apparently because he found words boring at the
moment. Draco could understand that sentiment.
He plunged his tongue into Harry�s mouth and moved his hands to his shoulders,
for the sheer delight of feeling himself pin something stronger than mere
hands. Harry wrapped his legs around Draco�s hips, and Draco thrust forwards,
his erection finding the contact it wanted at last.

�� After that,
there were a few moments that he was ashamed to say blurred for him. He wanted
to wank Harry off, or suck him off, or at least see his cock, but he seemed
unable to take his hands from Harry�s shoulders in any useful way. He was
stroking and caressing him through the cloth instead, and enjoying the darting,
endless motions of his tongue. Yes, when he wanted, Harry could be as sexual as
anyone else.

�� More so, in fact, considering the number of
lovers he�s had.

�� Draco
angrily pushed the thought aside. He would not listen to it. Harry�s past lovers weren�t here now, and he was.

�� Still, it
did make him want the privileges that those other men, and women, had had. So
he bit at Harry�s throat, which made him blink and arch his neck, and then slid
a hand down between his robes.

�� Harry
pushed his hand away.

�� You have got to be fucking kidding me,
Draco wanted to say, but he had never been one to use words where gestures
would do. He nipped Harry again and drew his limbs back towards his body, so it
would settle more heavily. �Don�t tell me you�re about to run off just when
things are getting interesting, Harry,� he whispered.

�� Harry did
shiver, but his eyes remained focused and his voice clear. �I don�t like to, but
we need to talk more about what we�ll do to heal Lucius. Do you think you�ll be
able to brew the potion?�

�� Draco
blinked and stared at him. For fuck�s
sake. Perhaps swearing would have been more satisfying after all. �Of
course,� Draco managed to say, when he had got over his small bout of anger
that Harry doubted him. �I have most of the ingredients, and I�m certain I can
purchase the others without our enemies knowing of them.�

�� Harry
nodded. His eyes were astoundingly determined and clearer than Draco would have
liked, given what they�d just been doing. �All right. Then that leaves my part
of the task.�

�� To study
Healing magic?� Draco let his limbs weigh a little more again. �You can do that
later.� He reached down with his hands to tilt Harry�s head and down with his
lips to nip the skin beneath his ear. It was a sensitive spot, and from the way
Harry started and groaned, not one that anyone else had explored before.

�� No,� Harry
said. His voice was breathless at first, but steadied as he pushed through the
words. When he heard them, Draco understood why. �I need a second opinion on
the Mirror Maze, the way the spells connect, and unexpected ways the dreambane
might influence them. That means going to Healer Pontiff.�

�� And Draco
was thinking in an instant of the way that the magic used on Lucius might be
used on Harry by Lucius�s mysterious enemies if Harry went near the hospital. One
of those enemies, at least, had studied Healing magic.

�� No.

�� He grabbed
Harry�s shoulders and pinned them again, quite willing to hold him with physical
force if he couldn�t do it any other way. �No,� he snapped. �Are you mad? That
would give our enemies a prime chance to strike at you.�

�� They can�t
expect me to come back to St. Mungo�s so randomly,� Harry said, as if he
thought he was being reasonable. �They have no way of learning what happens
inside these walls.� He paused, thoughtfully nibbling his lip, as if he were
reconsidering that, but Draco glared at him and he continued. �And they may try
to watch and follow me, but so what? All I�d have to do is Apparate back to the
Manor, and I�d be safe again. I can blast through anti-Apparition wards when I
have to.�

�� If you have to. But why should you place
yourself in danger in the first place? That�s what he doesn�t understand. There
are better ways to do things, and I thought he was learning them.

�� Draco could
feel the disappointment curdling the desire that still waited in his throat and
belly. Trust Harry to start questioning his lessons just when he was thoroughly
starting to use them.

�� It doesn�t
make sense,� Draco pointed out as calmly as he could. �When you�re in danger,
you retreat into your fortress and pull the drawbridge up behind you. You don�t
go prancing around inviting people to assassinate you.�

�� Harry only
shoved at his shoulders, as if Draco was the one not making sense. �I need to
consult with Healer Pontiff��

�� You could
do that by owl!� So simple. Do I have to
think of everything?

�� And then
there�s the chance of the owl getting intercepted,� Harry said. �Not to mention
that there�s more time for something to go wrong with Lucius whilst we wait for
her reply. At least I�ll get an answer more quickly if I visit her.�

�� And you could die.

�� The mere possibility
was not to be borne.

�� Draco shook
his head. �Rogers,� he said, and went on immediately, because their oldest and
most faithful house-elf would have come the instant he was summoned. �Make sure
that Harry stays within the house.�

�� Yes,
Master Draco.�

�� There. Now Harry can�t say I don�t care
about him, when I�m taking such extreme measures to protect him�

�� Harry threw
him across the room. Draco rolled so that the fall was not as bad as it could have
been, but he still smacked his head against the leg of the table. He ignored
the ache, though, because Harry was standing up, and his anger was stronger
than the pain.

�� You have
no right to do this to me,� Harry
said. �Protecting me when I�m being stupid is one thing��

�� Yes,
that�s exactly what I�m doing.� Draco brushed dust off his robes and sat up
himself. He wondered if he could scowl Harry into compliance. They�d been doing
so well. What had changed? Why had
Harry been content to obey Draco�s instructions in the matter of food and robes
and becoming a Malfoy, and not this? Why was something so sensible as preventing danger to his life impossible to listen to?

�� I am not.� Harry surged to his feet. �I
was stupid to refuse sleep and food. I see that now. That�s why I gave in,
because you made your point and I would have resisted out of sheer
bloody-mindedness if I had continued to resist. But in this case, I can do
something��

�� Not the
right thing.� Harry, please. You�ve got
to see that.

�� You can�t
keep me a prisoner here!� Harry said. His face was red, and Draco found it hard
to meet his eyes; they were as mad and feral as a beast�s. �You�ll lose me if
you try, and I thought that wasn�t what you wanted.�

�� Draco might
have hesitated that, but it was better Harry hate him for a short time and then
stay alive. It would only be a short time, Draco knew. They cared too much
about each other for it to be otherwise.

�I trust my ability to keep you
alive,� he said, �and to persuade you to come round again after you�ve had your
little tantrum. I don�t trust you to stay
alive if you leave the Manor right now.�

�� Harry
Apparated through the Manor�s wards.

�� Even given
his new connection with the family and the way they had adopted him into their
house, he should not have been able to do that. He hadn�t been lying about his
ability to defeat anti-Apparition wards.

�� Draco knew
he was gaping, and what he hated more than showing his emotions to Harry like
that was the fact that, by the time he thought to lunge forwards and grab Harry�s
sleeve, he was already gone.

*

�� gentlenightrain:
Thank you!

�� hieisdragoness18:
He is indeed.

�� js: Thank
you!

�� linagabriev:
Thank you! And Narcissa was a bit thrown-off when Draco pulled out the chair
for Harry, but then again, that told her something about her son she hadn�t
known. So the evening was not a total loss.

�� Draco is
putting Harry first, but unfortunately, he�s becoming a bit overbearing in
doing so. Hopefully, that�s something the fight in this chapter can correct.

�� Sara:
Thanks. In some ways, Narcissa is more sensible than either her husband or her
son.

�� DTDY: Thank
you!

�� Nothing: I�m
glad you like the changes. This chapter was especially interesting, because, to
Draco, Harry�s distraction really does seem to come out of nowhere.

�� That�s a
very�interesting idea for revenge on Emptyweed. We�ll have to see about it. ;)

�� Thrnbrooke:
Thanks for reviewing.
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For Their Unconquerable Souls