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Inter Vivos	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 42948 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 1
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Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
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Chapter
Twenty-One�Contraries

�� His
father�s face, staring up at him like a mask carved of resentment and hatred�

�� Are you
well, Draco?�

�� The heavy
hand falling on his shoulder pulled Draco back to the present. It was true that
his father had sometimes touched him like that, but solely as a steering motion
or to remind Draco not to let down the family name in front of an important
visitor. This was different. Draco didn�t know how, and he knew Lucius would
have scorned his inability to put the difference into words, but it was. There was gentleness behind his
touch, and he knew that the strength would be used to support and protect him,
instead of crush him.

�� I�m fine,
sir,� he said, turning and smiling up at Professor Snape. �Just tired.�

�� Snape
raised one eyebrow, as though to say weariness was a bad sign, but swept ahead
of Draco to undo the wards. �What you have endured was a trial,� he said, his
voice neutral.

�� Draco
snorted softly as he followed Snape into the house that was going to be his
home for the summer. Snape had used that word deliberately, so Draco could
think it was a simple statement of the literal if he pleased, but which would
also serve as an expression of sympathy if that
was the way Draco wanted to interpret it. It was no wonder Harry had spent
so much time trying to figure out if Snape was serious or not when he offered
help. Draco hadn�t ever known anyone, even his father, who was so good at
hiding their emotions.

�� I never
expected it,� he said, leaning against the wall beside the door as the wards
sprang back up and looking around the room. It was only too obviously without
the tender loving care of house-elves, but, dim as the corners were, shabby as
the furniture was, it seemed like a paradise to Draco. He would be free of
Lucius as long as he stayed here. �To stand up against my father and say that I
didn�t want to be in his custody anymore. I could have pictured abandoning my
magic before I abandoned my family.�

�� And now?�
Snape asked, shifting his weight behind Draco as if the task of resetting the
wards was harder than Draco knew it was. �Do you still feel that way?�

�� Of course
not,� Draco said sharply, �or I would have broken my wand.� He turned around
and frowned at Snape. Snape had said a few things like that since they came to
Spinner�s End from Hogwarts, and Draco didn�t like what the words implied. �Do
you think I should? Or do you really
think that the sacrifice I made for Harry wasn�t worth it?�

�� You are
the only one who can answer that,� Snape said, calmly, infuriatingly, his eyes
searching Draco�s face. He had one hand on the latch of the door, and he cast a
complicated spell with a simple movement of his fingers even as Draco watched.
Angry as he was, Draco made mental note of the spell as one he wanted to learn
this summer. �But I do think that some of the statements you have made are
problematic, yes. You cannot define yourself as a sacrifice for Harry�s sake,
any more than you could define yourself as your father�s son forever. You were
made for finer things than that, higher things. I want you to think about
defining yourself. Why are you doing
this, Draco? What do you get out of
it?�

�� Draco
snorted, amused despite his uneasiness. �You want me to act like a Slytherin,
you mean.�

�� Well? Is
that not what you are?� Snape cocked his head slowly, reminding Draco of a
magical serpent he�d once startled whilst he was exploring around the Manor. It
had been orange and gold, not at all the kinds of colors that Snape wore,� but it had slithered up to him, head turned
like that, as if it was estimating how he would fit into its mouth. Draco had
never found out what kind it was, mostly because he�d run about that time, but
he remembered it well enough. He swallowed now as Snape continued to give him
that look. �You are still a student, and your House identification is
important. You only have two more years at Hogwarts, Draco. Then you will be
out in the world and making your own decisions. It would be well for you to
build a firm base of your own talents and experience before you must.�

�� Draco
nodded. He couldn�t really deny that Snape was making sense. And Snape spoke
about it in a way that made it hard for Draco to get angry, whilst when Lucius
made speeches like this they always seemed pompous. �All right. But the problem
is that I have to think of what I�m teaching Harry, too, and learn what�s
useful for that.�

�� And you
are incapable of learning more than one thing at the same time?� Snape lifted
his lip in a small curl. �Don�t tell me that you have Crabbe blood.�

�� Draco
laughed, although Snape�s words reminded him uncomfortably for a moment of the
fact that he would have to go back to school after the holidays, and he had no
idea how his Housemates would react to his abandoning Lucius. �I used to want
to be an inventor,� he said. �A creator of new spells, new magical theories,
new fields of study.�

�� A worthy
ambition,� said Snape. �I myself have perfected new potions, as you know�though
there is always the chance of suffering the disappointment of an inventor who
discovers that others cannot use his research as it was meant to be used.� He
turned away from Draco and headed towards another small, shabby room that was
probably the library, because Draco could catch a glimpse of shelves through
the open door. �Come. I have some books that you should read.�

�� Draco
followed Snape, breathing deeply. He took in enough dust with one of the
breaths to sneeze, but still, Spinner�s End smelled like home.

*

�� Copsham
Cottage was a small house, with only three rooms downstairs�a kitchen, a
library, and an entrance hall�and three upstairs�two bedrooms and a bathroom.
There was barely even a corridor connecting the bedrooms. And they were
decorated in colors that the Dursleys would have found nonthreatening, a
mixture of pale yellow and white.

�� Harry
didn�t care. There was no one at the Cottage yelling at him, starving him, or
locking him in his room. Already that made it a better summer than any he�d had
except when he stayed with the Weasleys.

�� For the
first three days at the safehouse, he slept and ate. His body seemed to be
getting revenge for last summer and for the months of nightmares all at once.
Harry only woke up when his stomach hurt him hard enough, and he only stopped eating
when he felt he would vomit if he tried to eat anything more. He ate bread,
pies, cakes, bacon, fish, beef, soup, lettuce, potatoes, and shining red apples
like the ones that he used to see in his dreams at Privet Drive. And he wallowed in the bed, which was enchanted
to mold to his body and readjust itself during the night so that he never woke
up with a pain in his neck or sides.

�� He woke up
on the fourth morning feeling refreshed, deeply grateful to Snape, and
determined to start his training again. He couldn�t make himself just into a warrior, the way he�d been
dreaming of last year; there were too many other things to consider, like the
people who had helped him and who might resent him neglecting himself. But he
did have to study.

�� He knew
exactly what he wanted to study, too. But he didn�t know how to get at it. He
doubted that such a subject would be among the books in the library.

�� He went
thoughtfully down the stairs to the kitchen, and stopped in surprise. He�d been
vaguely aware during the last three days that Mrs. Weasley was watching him,
and that she was happy to make him as much as he could eat. But now it was
Remus who stood in the middle of the kitchen, frowning intently at the pan of
eggs cooking itself over the fire.

�� Remus?� he
whispered. �Is Sirius all right?�

�� Remus
smiled and glanced at him over his shoulder. He looked tired, but Harry also
thought there was a lightness about him, too, like he�d finally heard some bad
news he�d been waiting for for a long time and it wasn�t as bad as he expected.
�Of course,� he said. �So much all right, in fact, that he finally got tired of
my fussing and chased me out of his house for a while.� He poked dubiously at
the eggs, and then nodded in satisfaction and levitated the pan off the fire.
�So I thought I�d come and visit you.�

�� Harry
laughed and sat down at the table. �What have you been doing? Sirius told me
that it was secret, and he couldn�t tell
me.� He took the glass of pumpkin juice Remus handed him with a little nod, watching
his face covertly all the while. It was time to see if someone besides Snape,
Draco, and his closest friends could manage to be honest with him.

�� I was
working with the werewolves.� Remus scooped some eggs onto his own plate and
some onto Harry�s, keeping his eyes strictly on the pan all the while. Harry
wondered if he was ashamed to meet Harry�s gaze. �Dumbledore wanted me to get
in contact with a particular pack run by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback. He�s
the one who�who bit me.�

�And you were supposed to get in contact with him?� Harry almost choked
on his pumpkin juice. �Why? Why would he make you do something like that?�

�� Remus
didn�t reply for long moments, staring at the eggs as if they held the secrets
of the universe. Then he sighed, picked up his fork, and started eating. At
least he was looking Harry in the eye this time. �Dumbledore didn�t make me do
anything,� he said. �The Order of the Phoenix is made up of adults, Harry. We
can choose to fight for what we believe in without having to be coerced.�

�� Harry
bristled, because usually when people talked about adults they followed it up
with some reminder of how he wasn�t,
yet. �And I�m a child?� he said. �Besides, it still wasn�t right to ask you to
go into that much danger.�

�� Remus gave
him a little smile. �Sirius has made it abundantly clear that I�m not to treat
you like a child, anymore,� he said. �And Fenrir Greyback is an ally of
You-Know-Who. So, you see, it�s important that we learn something about his
movements.� He sighed and ran a hand over his face. �I failed, though. Fenrir
likes to taunt me, but he didn�t believe my story about being fed up with the
Ministry and wanting to live with my own kind.�

�� Harry
nodded. �I�m sorry you failed, but I still think it was rotten to ask you to go
into danger like that.� He started hungrily eating his eggs.

�� I
understand your feelings, Harry.� Remus reached across the table and squeezed
his hand. �And I know that you have reason to distrust him, but I do wish you
would make up with Headmaster Dumbledore. He�s miserable over his mistakes
concerning you.�

�� Harry felt
sympathy and pity wake up in him, but he didn�t really feel like experiencing
them right now. So he swallowed and shook his head. �I want him to suffer for a
little while,� he said. �The way I did.�

�� Remus
stared at him, seeming somewhere between shocked and flabbergasted. �That�s
very�Slytherin of you, Harry,� he said at last.

�� But it�s
true,� said Harry. �And anyway, I didn�t know you still called things Slytherin
and Gryffindor.� He began eating more eggs, wondering if it was a good idea to
have Remus here after all. �Did Sirius tell you what I told him about the
abuse?� he asked his plate.

�� Yes.�
Remus spoke so softly that it took Harry a minute to be sure he�d heard him. �I
just�I didn�t think Dumbledore knew, Harry.�

�� He didn�t
know the details.� Harry pushed his
plate away, not hungry enough to finish breakfast for the first time since he
got here. �But he knew they didn�t treat me well. And he refused to adopt me
himself or let someone around Hogwarts adopt me just because there was a chance he might hurt me.� He shook his
head, bile rising up in his throat. �I don�t want to feel sorry for him, Remus.
Maybe someday I can. But not now. He did too much to hurt me.�

�� Remus
sighed. �I didn�t mean to imply that your pain didn�t matter, Harry. But�maybe
it�s hard for me to deal with, too, knowing the Muggles did that to you and I
didn�t realize it.�

�� All
right,� Harry said, the most gracious thing he could say at the moment, and then retreated from the kitchen into
the library. He was shaking, and he had to lean a hand on the shelves for a
moment to prop himself up.

�� They all want me to feel sorry for
Dumbledore. They all want me to act like he hurt more. They all want me to be a
hero and selfless and nothing more than that.

�� Harry took
a deep breath and licked his lips. Those thoughts were unfair, too; he knew
Sirius didn�t want that, because he�d been horrified and indignant when he
learned from Harry what Snape had learned from Dumbledore. But as long as Harry
didn�t yell at someone else, then he could be as spiteful in his head as he
liked. It was better, at least, than denying what he�d felt, which he�d spent
too much time during the school year doing.

�� Partially
to distract himself, he began to scan the shelves. It didn�t take long. There
weren�t actually as many books at Copsham Cottage as he�d thought, and the
Darkest one was a Defense book that talked about how to counter some of the
curses Snape had taught him. Harry muttered about Light wizards who thought
they had to defend themselves by being ignorant and folded his arms.

�� All right. I need to know about Horcruxes,
and there�s only one person who might be able to fetch me books about that.

�� And I know who I want with me, now. Who I need
to have with me, if Remus and the others
are going to be stupid about Dumbledore.

�� Harry went
upstairs to find Hedwig, and write a letter.

*

�� Dear Professor Snape:

�� I know that you�ll understand why I need a
book on Horcruxes. I�m not going to ask what you do or where you have to go to
get it. But I need it. If there�s any way to destroy the Horcruxes more easily
than I destroyed the diary, then I need to know that.

�� I want to see Draco, too. Can you bring him
to Copsham Cottage in a few days? Please don�t wait until you find the book, if
it takes longer than that. I need to see him. Besides, I think it would be good
to start the Occlumency lessons again. Voldemort�s left me alone for this long,
but that might not last.

�� Thanks,

�� Harry Potter.

�� Severus
clenched his hand around the letter and took a deep breath. He did not
understand the emotions raging through him, and it took him long moments to
calm himself, to separate his mind from those feelings and retreat to a vantage
point from which he could look at them rationally.

�� He was hurt
that Harry had not written asking for his presence.

�� He was
worried that, by researching Horcruxes, Harry would lay himself open to the
influence of Dark magic, which often accompanied Dark Arts books. Some believed
that the pages themselves absorbed the intent of their writers, or at least of
the wizards who used them with intent to harm.

�� But Severus
himself had never believed that, and it would be far more dangerous for Harry
to face the Dark Lord with no knowledge of Horcruxes at all. Besides, who had
the right to know about them if Harry did not, since he was one?

�� As for the
first emotion, it had no place in his mind at all.

�� Severus
turned to call Draco. He would be thrilled to go on a visit to Harry; though he
had been content at Spinner�s End, his personality fitting in as compatibly
with Severus�s as Severus had foreseen that it would, he mentioned Harry at
least three times a day and sometimes stared off into space with a wistful look.

�� And all Harry�s not asking for you means is
that he does not yet wish to see you. He told you it would be at least a month.

�� Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

�� Sadly, that
was one commandment that Severus had never yet been able to obey.

*

�� Draco
gasped as he staggered back from Harry�s shields. They were thicker and firmer
than he could have imagined their becoming in the single week since he�d last
seen Harry. Maybe they wouldn�t stand up to the kind of pounding that Draco knew
himself capable of resisting, and of course Harry would take a long time to be
as good an Occlumens as Professor Snape was, but it was an enormous
improvement.

�� How did
you do that?� he demanded, the moment
he recovered his breath.

�� Harry
smiled. �Well, you know that I use you as my anchor for the shields,� he said.
�I�ve been thinking about you a lot.�

�� Draco
paused. There was an odd note in Harry�s voice that he didn�t understand. And
the way Harry turned away a moment after that, as if he didn�t want to meet
Draco�s eyes, made Draco wonder if he was hiding something.

�� And
anyway,� Harry went on, his voice changing so suddenly that Draco wondered if
he�d imagined the hiding, �we�ve practiced Occlumency for two hours now. I want
to go out and fly.�

�� You can do
that here?� Draco cast a dubious glance out the window of Copsham Cottage. The
windows showed a sunny garden with
the light playing over borders of flowers, but he didn�t know if it actually
looked like that. When he�d first arrived, he�d been horrified at how small the
place was. But then, he reckoned that Snape�s house at Spinner�s End actually
wasn�t that much bigger; it just felt bigger
because it had more rooms. And Harry seemed happy. But that didn�t guarantee
the existence of a Quidditch pitch.

�� Yes.�
Harry grinned at him. �I know, it doesn�t look like much, does it? But the
grounds� are strongly warded because
sometimes they had too many people staying here to fit in the rooms. So we have
a place to fly, as long as we don�t go too far from the house.� He paused. �You
did bring your broom, didn�t you?�

�� Draco
snorted. �Of course.� He�d been hoping to coax Harry back to Spinner�s End and
the small park Severus had shown him, surrounded with so many Muggle-repelling
charms that Draco could fly in safety. But bringing his broom was the surer
thing given the way Harry reacted to his mentioning Snape, and he ran to fetch
it from inside the entrance hall. Harry followed him down the stairs; they�d
been practicing in his bedroom, which was the only place they wouldn�t
potentially damage valuable books or dishes.

�� Draco
peered about as he picked up his broom and noted with satisfaction that the
strange pink-haired woman who�d been staying with Harry and introduced herself
as Tonks wasn�t anywhere around. He turned to Harry, whose mouth was just
opening to say something, and gripped his shoulders, looking into his eyes.
Harry fell silent and stared at him in confusion.

�� You are happy?� Draco whispered. �You
haven�t been having nightmares? Not even possession nightmares, but nightmares
about your relatives? You would tell me if you were, right?�

�� Harry
watched him with calm, understanding eyes for long moments. Then he nodded and
reached up to take Draco�s hands, gently removing them from his shoulders.

�� Yes,� he said.
Draco stared at him again, but this time Harry didn�t turn away or act like
there was something he wanted to conceal. �I�ve learned to stop hiding things
that could hurt other people,� Harry said, and he said it like a vow. �I want
to help them, not hurt them. I only
hid them in the first place because I thought it would cause you more pain if
you knew, not because my pain was small. It wasn�t.� He swallowed. Draco moved
a step closer, and was delighted to see Harry lean slightly towards him, which
looked like an unconscious gesture but was still very welcome. �I haven�t had
nightmares since I came here. I�ve had a chance to recover from my relatives�
abuse, and I�m doing something else besides studying. I�m busy, Draco, and I�m
happier than I�ve been in years. I promise.�

�� Even
without me?� Draco cursed himself for saying that the instant he did, because
Harry stopped grinning and looked at him seriously, and then�

�� And then
Draco couldn�t curse himself for saying that after all, because Harry had moved
closer, wrapped his arms around him, and was cradling him as if Draco had been
the one who suffered abuse and not him. It was the first time Draco remembered
receiving a hug like this without something traumatic happening first. He
hugged Harry back, in happy disbelief, and sighed a little as he let his head
rest on Harry�s shoulder. For just a moment he could forget the fact that Harry
still had no idea Draco loved him, and he could think they were out of this
war, with everything dangerous behind them and nothing worse ahead than
figuring out what it meant to love each other.

�� I do miss
you,� Harry whispered. His hand had moved into Draco�s hair and was running
through it, and what Draco adored about the gesture was that it was
unconscious, just like the way Harry had leaned into him, and Harry wasn�t
doing it because he thought he had to or to oblige a friend. �But I think I
needed to be by myself, or almost by myself. When I�m with you or Snape, I�m
thinking about everything, Draco, not
just learning. I need to rest, too, and dream, and get used to the fact that
I�m not going back to the Dursleys� ever again.�

�� Then he
stepped back before Draco could react, and cuffed him on the shoulder. �Are we
going flying or not? And are you going to need a hug every time you get into
the air? Try telling that to your Quidditch team.�

*

�� Ouch, mate.�

�� Sorry,
Ron,� Harry said guiltily. He had known the moment he cast the Blasting Curse
that it was too strong, but ever since Snape had taught him to concentrate on
the effects of the spells instead of flinging all his power behind them, they
really had got stronger. And so he�d thrown Ron into the wall before he
realized what was happening.

�� Maybe there�s a way to absorb the energy of
a spell just after you�ve cast it, he thought. He would have to look into
that. He went to help Ron stand up and examined the scorch mark on the wall,
wincing. Tonks was staying with him again this week, and she was nice enough,
but she did tend to ask a lot of questions.

�� What
happened? I heard the noise from downstairs!� The door thumped open as Hermione
hurried into the room. �Were you using curses? There must be some safer way to learn this, Harry. Why don�t you find it?
Are you bleeding, Ron?� She stepped up to Ron and made him turn around so that
she could get a look at the back of his head, Ron grumbling all the while that
he was fine but looking pleased at the attention.

�� Speaking of a lot of questions, Harry
thought, grinning as he moved into the corner so that Hermione could have
better access to Ron. Hermione had been studying in the library just in case
Harry had missed a source of information about Horcruxes that would be useful,
and still had one finger in her giant book.

�� He watched
his best friends in contentment. It was good to be with them again, and as long
as a woman was staying with him�and Tonks and Mrs. Weasley had both agreed to
watch him over the last week whilst Hermione and Ron were here, as well as an
Auror named Hestia Jones�then she and Hermione could share one bedroom, and
Harry and Ron the second. It was like being back at Hogwarts, falling asleep to
the sound of Ron�s breathing.

�� In fact,
this whole summer was like being at Hogwarts, or a combination of Hogwarts and
the Burrow. Harry still hadn�t got his breath back yet or stopped being
deliriously happy every time something small showed up and reminded him of the
differences between Copsham Cottage and Privet Drive.

�� I don�t
need that much fussing, Hermione.� Ron
was trying to pull away from her, an offended expression on his face. �I�ll get
that much from my mum. I�m not bleeding.�

�� Shut up, I
can�t see!� Hermione snapped at him, and then cast a Sticking Charm to tie his
feet to the floor.

�� Hermione,� Ron said, but Harry saw the
expression on his face change to a half-grin, and thought he didn�t really mind
being caught like that.

�� Why do you
have to have all this hair,� Hermione
said, running her fingers through it, and, Harry thought, taking longer than she
really needed.

�� It reminded
him of the way he had touched Draco�s hair the other day�

�� Harry
sighed. Yes, let�s consider that, shall
we?

�� He had no
idea, really, how or when he�d fallen in love with Draco. (If that was what had
happened. Harry was still considering other possibilities at the moment). None
of it made sense. Why should he fall in love with anyone, first of all, when
he�d probably die in the battle with Voldemort? And then, he used to like
girls. He remembered daydreaming about Cho, and sometimes about Hermione, just
because she was a girl and always around, and that was the kind of thing most
blokes thought about. And there might have been a time he thought he�d marry
Ginny, when she went through that embarrassing hero-worship phase and then
Sirius and Remus told him about the way that his dad had worshipped his mum.

�� But falling
in love with a boy was never part of the plan.

�� Harry just didn�t
know how it would work. He knew boys
and girls had sex, or men and women did, and had children. Sometimes he had
dreams about that, too. He knew a little about sex, thanks to the twins and
overheard conversations and snogging from the seventh-years. But it didn�t
include him. He�d redefined himself
out of that equation without even realizing it, at least until this summer.

�� But two
blokes? Why would they have sex? Why would they want to have sex? They couldn�t have kids (unless there was some really
strange wizarding world magic he didn�t know about, and in this case Harry wanted to remain in blissful ignorance).
Would they have to have sex? Did he have to have sex with Draco if he was in
love with him?

�� There were
so many questions, and Harry didn�t know what was right or not, the way he
would have known about it�all right, a little bit about it�with a girl. So for
now he was just turning the questions over in his head and thinking about them
and sometimes coming up with answers that surprised himself.

�� It was nice
to have a secret that, for once, was incapable of hurting anyone, a secret that
was his alone.

�� Harry?�

�� Harry
started and looked up. Ron and Hermione were both staring at him expectantly.
He reckoned they had finished their own flirting session and were ready to get
back to the training now.

�� And so should you be, he told himself,
and resolutely banished thoughts of snogging Draco from his mind.

*

�� Hello,
Professor Snape.�

�� Severus
felt as though a heavy burden had fallen from his shoulders with the sound of
Harry�s voice, which warned him, if he hadn�t known before, how very much
afraid he had been that the boy would not want to see him again. And that was
in itself potentially disastrous, this worry. There were reasons that Severus
selected so few students for personal favoritism. He had always known that association
with him was not a guarantee of a long or happy life.

�� But then,
Harry was in danger already, as was Draco. Perhaps it was as safe to be fond of
them as it was to be fond of anyone.

�� Although that did not save Lily.

�� Severus
shook himself and realized that Harry was still standing on the stairs,
watching him with shadowed eyes, and doubtless waiting for a response. �I did
find the book on Horcruxes you asked for,� he said, and held out the heavy tome
bound in half-slimy leather, glad to be rid of it. Harry, on the other hand,
took it and looked at it with grim satisfaction. �I am sorry it took a month.
It proved hard to track down. It was among the books that the Headmaster had
removed from the Hogwarts library.�

�� Harry
looked up sharply. �Did he do that�on purpose?�

�� Severus was
not reluctant to encourage Harry to distrust Dumbledore, but he preferred that
Harry pay attention to the man�s actual crimes, and supporting the Dark Lord
was not one of them. �I believe he was researching,� he said smoothly. �He did
owl me, when he sent the book, to say that he had located one of the other
Horcruxes.� He raised an eyebrow. �And as he believes that the book will not
leave my possession, I will thank you not to make the suggestion that he might
be plotting against you to his face.�

�� Of course
not,� Harry muttered. �That might make him suspicious. I�m going to have a hard
enough time convincing him that I can actually play a part in the war. I�ll be
calm and polite in front of Dumbledore, because that�s the only way he�ll ever
consider me enough of an adult.�

�� He was busy
looking at the book and didn�t notice Severus�s stare at him. Severus covered
his face with a mask as blank and smooth as the one Harry was planning in the
next moment. He has made a resolve to act
like a Slytherin, at last, or perhaps simply to use the brain he was born
possessing.

�� And have
you considered,� he began slowly, �what we spoke of the last time we saw each
other?�

�� Harry
looked up then, and put the book on the step beside him, and leaned a shoulder
on the wall. He folded his arms and watched Severus with a sardonic expression.
Severus doubted he would like to be told that his body language was defensive;
he had shifted so that more of his back was to the wall than before, and his
breathing had sped up.

�� Considering
the circumstances, Severus could hardly blame him.

�� I still
don�t like you very much,� said Harry. His voice was low, and for the first
time Severus could hear a resemblance to Lily�s in it. He immediately told
himself that such a thing was ridiculous; children did not sound like their parents unless reared in the same environment.
Harry had been raised by Muggles, one reason that his diction was so common.
Severus�s mother had made sure he knew how to speak properly. �I don�t like
what you did. I don�t�it�s hard to think of you as an unrepentant Death Eater.
I�ll never like thinking of you that
way. And sometimes, when I look at you, I�ll see the murderer of my parents.�

�� Severus did
not bother to point out that the Dark Lord had actually killed the Potters. He
knew he had to accept Harry�s judgment now, or he never would, and the barrier
would remain between them. He was not stupid enough to make Dumbledore�s
mistakes, and speak over Harry�s words because he found them uncomfortable. He
waited, slouching a little so that Harry could have even more of the higher
ground than he did.

�� Harry drew
a deep, troubled breath, and looked away from him, his eyes directed at the
corner of the bottom step. He sounded almost as if he were talking to himself
when he spoke next, as if he had forgotten he had an audience. Severus wondered
if he should break him of that habit, but then remembered that Harry was new to
being able to speak his thoughts at all.
Caging them in his head was not an acceptable alternative, as it was with
Draco, because he seemed to brood on them instead of considering them. So, as
long as he did this only in private or with an acceptable audience, Severus
could let it pass for now. �But that doesn�t change anything. I�ll have to work
with you just like I have to work with Dumbledore.� His eyes slid back to
Severus�s face. �The difference is that I can let you know I dislike you�sometimes�and you won�t decide that means I�m a
child, because you don�t equate the war with yourself.�

�� Severus
paused. That was not an insight which had come to him or to Draco, but yes, now
that he thought about it, that was one explanation for Dumbledore�s behavior.
He had not wanted to entrust Harry, the �Savior,� to carry his proper share of
the burden�even the one that the prophecy said he was destined to carry. He
wanted to control all things relating to the Potters, to the Dark Lord, to the
spread of information. And because he was so concerned about hurting others and
pretended that he could not foresee the consequences of his actions enough to
be sure of what would hurt others and what would not, he had done nothing, and
assumed that others could also do nothing.

�� I trust
you enough to let you know I dislike you. Sometimes.� A small, grim smile
flitted across Harry�s mouth. �And I can�t always tell when those outbursts of
dislike will come. There�s a lot I don�t know about myself. I�ve been working
on finding out, this summer, but sometimes I still yell at Tonks or Remus and they
don�t understand why��

�� I can
think of many excellent reasons to yell at the werewolf,� Severus murmured.

�� Harry
rolled his eyes at him and went on. �And sometimes I�m wildly grateful for what
you did for me, and sometimes I still think it should have been left alone.� He
paused and ran a hand over his forehead, his fingers lingering on the lightning
bolt scar. �So I�ll be moody and difficult to work with. You�ll have to expect
that.�

�� Severus
sneered slightly. �Harry, you speak as if I had not taught in a school full of
moody teenagers for years.�

�� Harry
blinked and then flushed slightly. �Oh, yeah,� he said. �I forgot that.�

�� And I have
exercised restraint in our meetings since�telling you the story of my
friendship with your mother.� Severus thought that was the safest and
potentially the most neutral way to refer to what had followed his rescue of
Harry from Umbridge�s torture. �I can exercise more. This will work.�

�� Harry
nodded slowly, his shoulders still tense. �All right. As long as you know
that.�

�� Severus
nodded back, and squashed his own yearning for Harry to be comfortable in other
ways with him, to seek out his company for other reasons. Considering what
truths he had had to inflict on Harry, he should be grateful for this much. And
Harry had Gryffindor traits as strong as the Slytherin ones. Let him begin a
collaboration focused on the war or on learning spells, and friendship was more
likely to follow, because he could not keep his emotions out of it. �What
curses have you practiced since we last saw each other?�

*

�� Hullo,
Draco.�

�� Draco
reached out and shook his mother�s hand, clasping it in his own for long
moments. He would have liked to hug her, but Professor Snape was in the room�of
course he was; he didn�t entirely trust Narcissa�and he wouldn�t be quite that bold in front of one of his
teachers. �Hullo, Mum.�

�� For a
moment, Narcissa looked desperately out of place in the dusty room at Spinner�s
End, with her blonde hair flowing down the back of a white silk robe that Draco
knew house-elves had woven and tended�and then, as always happened, the room
reoriented itself around her and became a natural background. Draco shook his
head in wonder. He had always longed to know how she did that. But since part
of it was probably being a beautiful woman, he doubted he could learn to do it
himself.

�� Narcissa
bent to kiss his cheek, not seeming to care that Professor Snape was watching. �Draco,�
she said. �I should warn you that Lucius tried to prevent me from visiting you
today, and he will be spying on you when you return to school and trying to
convince some of your Housemates to harm you.�

�� Draco
swallowed. It was no more than he had expected, but somehow confirmation made
it hurt more. He nodded sturdily, and hoped that not too much undignified
emotion showed on his face. �Did he confide his plans specifically?�

�� He will
contact those he knows well, or who owe him debts,� said Narcissa, and sat down
on the couch where Professor Snape usually kept the books he was consulting at
the moment. He had removed them when he heard that Draco�s mum would be
visiting. �Watch for Parkinson, Crabbe, and Goyle. As usual, he has failed to
persuade Blaise Zabini�s mother that he has anything worth offering.�

�� Draco
nodded and sat beside her. �And Bulstrode?�

�� Narcissa
lightly shrugged her shoulders. �Holding neutral, for the moment. The
Greengrass family has withdrawn both their daughters from the school and is
unlikely to participate in this contest at all. The Notts do not, as yet, show
any sign of responding to Lucius�s overtures. I suspect they are trying to gain
their own standing in the Dark Lord�s court.�

�� Draco
listened intently, forcing himself to absorb the information as he had
Professor Snape�s books on spell creation. The thought of one of his yearmates
turning against him scraped against his bones like a knife, but he would just
have to get used to it. �And are there any other families he mentioned?� he
asked, when Narcissa paused in her recitation.

�� Not as
yet.� Narcissa smiled with her lips alone, but her eyes shone�not with tears,
Draco noted. �But I am able to do something to restrain him, Draco. I have possession
of certain secrets that he would not want to get out. I am unable, I fear, to
prevent someone from harming you in Hogwarts, given my distance from the
school. But I can and will give you
the means to protect yourself.�

�� She reached
into a fold of her robes and removed a book. Draco blinked. He could tell the
moment it emerged into the open air that it was a Dark Arts book, but it had been
so strongly shielded by the cloth that he hadn�t sensed its presence. His
respect for his mother grew. He would have to learn that spell, or else commission
robes from the house-elves, which his mother was unusual in doing.

�� He took the
book and opened it to the first page. To his surprise, it was blank. He looked
up at Narcissa.

�� This is a
book Lucius does not realize that I knew he had,� Narcissa said. �Had being the important word.� She
looked as smug as a cat who had escaped the bath. �It contains a great deal of
Dark Arts knowledge�spells, but also rituals, potions, and many other things,
willed into the book by its possessors. You must ask it questions, and it will
reveal what it can to you.�

�� In wonder,
Draco looked back at the blank page. �The Cruciatus Curse,� he said.

�� The surface
of the page boiled like a maelstrom�rather dizzying to look at, Draco thought�and
then a long list of information appeared. It was an index of sorts, Draco
realized, starting with the name of the wizard who had invented the Cruciatus
Curse and continuing from there.

�� The book
is now about that particular spell,� Narcissa said, sounding satisfied. �And it
will continue to be until you ask it about something else.� She touched Draco�s
hand. �Of course, about less common topics there will not be a wealth of
knowledge.�

�� I don�t
care,� Draco said, ecstatic. �I don�t think that many of the other Slytherins will
have received more specialized Dark Arts training than I have. Their parents
wouldn�t trust them not to use that magic against their own families.� He flung
his arms around his mother, Professor Snape�s silent, disapproving presence be
damned.

�� Narcissa
touched the nape of his neck. �You are welcome, my son.�

�� Draco
smiled. I can�t wait to ask the book
about Horcruxes.

*

�� Harry. May
I speak to you for a moment?�

�� Harry
stiffened, then sighed and turned around. He had known this was coming. Mostly, he resented Dumbledore for
confronting him just as he came out of the hospital wing, where he had been to
visit Sirius. Madam Pomfrey had high hopes that Sirius would regain the use of
his twisted hand with further physical and spell therapy, and Harry had been on
his way back to Gryffindor Tower to share the good news with Ron and Hermione.
It would liven up their first night at school as sixth-year students.

�� Or it would
have, he thought as he faced Dumbledore. �Your office, Headmaster?� He reminded
himself of his resolution during the summer and kept his voice calm, polite,
almost bored.

�� Dumbledore
peered at him intently. Harry looked at the floor. No need to let the old man
read his thoughts.

�� Yes,
Harry,� Dumbledore said, sounding old and sad, and led him down the stairs.

�� In the
office itself, Harry sat in a chair directly in front of the desk and responded
with one word-answers to all the questions the Headmaster tried to ask him
about his summer, until at last Dumbledore gave a world-weary sigh and folded
his hands in front of him.

�� I have two
pieces of news for you, Harry,� he said, �and one piece of advice.�

�� Harry just
nodded.

�� The first piece
of news is that I have secured another of Voldemort�s Horcruxes,� said
Dumbledore firmly, �and have a good idea of the hiding place of one more.
Unfortunately, I believe, from evidence I sought during the summer, that he has
created at least six in total, apart from you. He would think that he has split
his soul into seven pieces, and he regards seven as a mystical, magical number.�

�� Harry
stared for a moment despite himself. �He�d split his soul that many times just
to match a magical, mystical number?� he had to ask. �Is he really that stupid?�

�� Dumbledore
smiled briefly. �One of the things I think you will discover about Voldemort as
this war goes on, my boy, is that he is far from rational. Superstition has a
greater hold on him than logical planning.� He leaned forwards. �The Horcrux is
a stone on a ring belonging to his ancestors�the descendents of Slytherin. As
yet, I have no idea how to destroy it. I will ask for your help in the future.�

�� Harry
nodded. This was the kind of help he had hoped Dumbledore would ask him for,
anyway, and if Voldemort was immortal because of the Horcruxes, it was more
important than going out and fighting on the front lines.

�� The other
Horcrux I know of is probably his snake, Nagini.� Dumbledore gave him a small
smile. �And she would be with her master, of course. We may have to leave her
until the last, as she is surely the hardest to come at.

�� And the
second piece of news is that Dolores Umbridge has been sentenced to Azkaban,
and will remain there for five years at least. The Wizengamot found the
evidence of what she had done too copious to ignore.�

�� Harry took
a hard breath of relief. He hadn�t wanted to admit it�because, since she�d been
arrested, this was another fear that
only concerned him�but he had wondered if it was possible that Fudge would manage
to get Umbridge out and send her back to Hogwarts.

�� My piece
of advice might double as a piece of news, as well.� Dumbledore�s smiles had
all vanished now. �This has been kept very quiet so as not to panic the public,
and because the Ministry does not, as yet, entirely understand how they
achieved it. But several Death Eaters have escaped from Azkaban, my boy, and
made their way back to Voldemort�s side. One of them is his most dangerous,
Bellatrix Lestrange. Voldemort often used her as his second-in-command during
the first war, and he particularly delighted in having her hunt down people who
had escaped him before. She was the one who tortured Neville Longbottom�s
parents into insanity, because the Longbottoms had defied her master three
times. I am afraid that, since Voldemort has failed to secure you with his
Legilimency, he may have assigned Bellatrix to the hunt for you. It would be
his way of pretending that you were not worth his own time.�

�� What kind
of spells does she use?� Harry asked at once. He was running the list of curses
that Snape had taught him through his head, ready to match them up with
Lestrange�s specialty.

�� A rare
kind, unfortunately,� Dumbledore said. �Other than the Unforgivables, she
relies on the spells that manipulate fear.�

�� Harry
paused. Snape had said it was almost useless to teach Harry those spells,
because one had to understand the emotions that drove them�as one had to know
pain to cast the Cruciatus�and Harry was too fearless, being a Gryffindor.

�� Because of
this,� Dumbledore said, �she can fairly easily corrupt the people around you
into betrayal, and they may not even realize they are giving in to spells
instead of their own terrors.� He leaned forwards. �My dear boy, please be
careful in whom you place your trust this year.�

�� Harry
swallowed and nodded.

�� And that
is all I have to say to you,� Dumbledore said with a sigh, �though I hope to
meet with you regularly to discuss the Horcruxes.�

�� Harry stood
up at once and escaped. He could feel Dumbledore�s eyes on his back all the way
to the door, but the Headmaster didn�t call to him again.

�� That was�tolerable, he decided on his
way down the moving staircase. He�s
talking about the war, which he must know I want to talk about. He�s treating
me like someone who can help him.

�� I just hope that he doesn�t decide we should
have a �heart-to-heart� one of these days.

*

�� MewMew2:
Thanks. I think that�s my favorite scene in the fic.

�� Mangacat:
Thanks. The plot will get further from canon in the next two �years,� but will
retain some canon points like the Horcruxes. Have a good holiday.

�� minn yun: Harry
definitely had one. Snape was absolutely right when he said that Harry just
needed to be left alone for once, lightly watched, and left to study and do and
eat what he wanted.

�� SageKiller:
Thanks for reviewing.

�� Ivy: Thank
you so much. I am having a ton of fun with this, much more than I thought I
would originally (since it�s my first complex AU).

�� heyyou:
Thanks for reviewing.

�� SP777:
Definitely! I understand the frustration with Harry and Snape both stuck behind
by this point while Draco is making progress, but now Harry is deliberately
aiming for maturity instead of kind of wandering toward it, and so he�ll get there
faster.

�� Tree: Thank
you!

�� DTDY: Glad
you liked the chapter.

�� FallenAngel1129:
Thanks for reviewing.

��
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Inter Vivos