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Practicing Liars	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 63257 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
Thank you again for all the reviews!

Chapter
Twenty-One�Dodging, Ducking, Weaving

�� Harry felt
as though every nerve in his body had frozen for an instant with panic and
self-loathing and frantic hatred for the whole situation.

Why was this so hard? He should have been able to keep
the secret that Dumbledore had entrusted to him with no trouble. He�d kept the
secret of his parentage for so much longer, hadn�t he? He had kept the secret
of what it was really like to live with the Dursleys. He�d hidden his feelings
and his wounds and his scar, when he could, and the terror of facing Voldemort
and his nightmares. He could hide things so well�

Except when it really counted.

�� But he
would have to try again. Yes, sometimes his secrets were found out, but other
times he could put people off. He had managed to do that when Snape and Draco
had found out about the Memory Charm he�d used on Madam Pomfrey.

�� At the
least, he could make Draco rethink things and get him looking elsewhere. And
Harry knew exactly how he would do it.

�� He shifted in
Draco�s grip and whispered, �You�re hurting me.�

�� Draco
glanced over at the perfect time, as a large drop of blood rolled down Harry�s
arm from the wound that had opened again. His mouth fell open and he blurted
out, �What happened? I know that you defended yourself against the spells
Professor Snape cast at you.�

�� Not that
well,� Harry said wryly, lowering his arm so that he could cradle it against
his side and trying to look more injured that he really was. It wasn�t easy. Snape
had accused him of having a high pain threshold, but so what? The wound stung a
bit, that was all. Harry couldn�t help it if he had a weird reaction to some
things. �I�m distracted. I let one through.� He sighed and stared at the
injury. It was annoying, he had to admit, and he would be glad to have it
healed. �He tried to heal it, but it tore open again.�

�� See,�
Draco said softly as he pushed back Harry�s sleeve and touched his wand to
Harry�s arm, �that proves that he really does care about you after all. He
wouldn�t have done that for any other student. Most of us would earn a shove
through the Floo to Madam Pomfrey.�

�� Harry kept
himself from staring incredulously at Draco, but only just. Why should he care
about what Snape wanted or cared for? He was never going to be Harry�s father
no matter what happened, and he should just stop trying.

�� Draco
wouldn�t want to hear that. Harry thought he was becoming a pretty good judge
of what a Slytherin would want to hear. He bit his tongue hard and said, �Well,
if you say so.�

�� Draco
murmured a healing charm. Harry wondered idly if he�d learned it while he was
pranking people, or being pranked, in the Slytherin common room.

�� Has anyone
tried to hurt you?� he asked suddenly. �I know no one has so far, but you wouldn�t necessarily have told me if someone
tried and didn�t manage it.�

�� Draco
looked up at him. His eyes were so steady and cool that Harry flinched. He had
thought only Snape could look like that.

�� You mean,�
Draco said, every word as measured as the fall of a drop of water into a pool,
�the way that you won�t tell me about what�s bothering you?�

�� Harry
blinked. He�d had words a minute ago. They were around here somewhere.

�� You won�t
let anyone near you,� Draco said, as his hands worked up and down Harry�s arm,
stroking and caressing in a strange way. Perhaps that was part of the movement
he had to make to close Harry�s wound. Harry didn�t know. He should have
checked, but he couldn�t look away from Draco�s eyes. �I don�t know why, but
that�s the way it is, it seems. The great Harry Potter, on his great and heroic
lonesome.� A trace of bitterness crept into his voice, a familiar emotion but
one that Harry had thought he�d heard the last of.

�� I don�t
know what you�re talking about,� Harry objected, managing to find his tongue.
�Of course I let people near me. Why
wouldn�t I? I mean, when don�t I do it? I train people, and I protect you, and
I let you hold me in the hospital wing, and I guard people with my life, and
I�m letting you heal me, and I let Madam Pomfrey heal me, and��

�� You float
alone through all of us.� Draco stepped back, spinning his wand once as if he
was contemplating a deed well done, but his eyes stayed, intent, on Harry�s
face, and his hand rested, heavy, on Harry�s arm. �You might not show it to
many people, but you do. You never even considered
telling people about��

�� Oi,
Harry!�

�� That was
Ron�s voice. Harry was infinitely glad that he�d chosen to come back then and
not a minute later, when Draco might have said everything about Snape�s
relationship to Harry into the open air. Harry had been too hypnotized by his
strange manner to be able to stop him.

�� Draco
stiffened at once, and his hand fell from Harry�s arm as if pushed away. Harry
tried to apologize with his eyes, but he turned towards Ron as if towards his
own savior and nodded.

�� I was
coming along,� he said. �Snape got me with a hex after all. Draco was healing
it for me.� He saw no reason not to tell that
part of the truth. It would be rather hard to hide, with his robe sleeve
soaked with blood, and Draco should get the credit for doing what Snape
couldn�t.

�� The
bastard,� Ron said, and though Harry knew he meant the words for Snape, he
glared at Draco as he moved closer, in a way that said he was willing to spread
the blame around.

�� Draco
didn�t bother retorting. He just put his head up and started to walk haughtily
off down the corridor.

�� He�s not a
bastard,� Harry said, so Draco could hear. He moved down the corridor so that
he was standing between one friend and the other. He did pause until he was
sure Draco was turning around, or at least looking over his shoulder, and then
faced Ron again. �He was healing me,
not hurting me.� He felt more confident now. At least he had conducted
arguments between his friends before, so he knew how they were supposed to go.
Draco putting him in such an awkward place, the way he had a few moments
before, was strange and stupid and new and Harry didn�t like it.

�� This he
could handle.

�� I hate the
way you�re defending him,� Ron said, flushing so red that it looked as if his
ears would emit steam any minute. �Why can�t you realize that I hate him and I�ve
always hated him? It doesn�t matter if you
like him.�

�� It ought
to,� Harry said. �After all, it matters to me if you like Hermione or Neville
or anyone else.�

�� Ron blinked
at him in silence. Then he said, as if trying out the taste of a new idea, �Why?�

�� Because
you�re my friend, and I care about you,� Harry said simply.

�� Ron flushed
more deeply and muttered something. Harry picked out the words �strange� and �didn�t
know.�

�� I know
that,� Harry said, more gently. �I ignored you, too, when I shouldn�t have, and
I�m sorry.� He heard Draco shift restlessly behind him, and he cast a smile
over his shoulder, hoping to reassure him. Draco frowned but stayed where he was.

�� Harry turned
back to Ron. He was determined not to let this become a breach in their
friendship. He wanted Ron beside him, and he was sorry for how he�d been acting. He just wasn�t going to reject
Draco by way of apology.

�� Yes, you want him beside you, said a
cynical, snickering voice in the back of his head. Until you die. Then won�t he wonder why you never told him?

�� Harry
pressed his teeth down in the back of his mouth until he thought he had crushed
that little voice. He had no time for
that. He would drift into self-pity if he thought too much about what
Dumbledore had told him. Or he would start uselessly thinking of escapes so
that he could get away. He knew there was no escape. If there was, Dumbledore
would have mentioned it. Harry was confident the Headmaster cared for him
enough to do that. He wouldn�t sacrifice Harry�s life unless he thought there
was no choice.

�� He�d
thought about it too much, that was clear, if both Snape and Draco had noticed
something. From now on, until he had to stop, Harry intended to fling himself
into making his friends� lives happier. That was something he knew how to do.

�� I want to
know how you�re doing,� Harry continued slowly. �I just got so bored of your conversation
when it revolved around Hermione and Lavender, and nothing but them. And then you said I didn�t understand because I hadn�t
seriously dated anyone, and it got me angry. But you�re past that now. I know
you�re past it. So I should be too.� He met Ron�s eye and held his hand out. �Mates?�

�� Ron took
Harry�s wrist and nodded. He looked slightly dazed. Well, that wasn�t the worst
result, Harry thought. Dazed, he was less likely to insult Draco.

�� He turned around
and faced Draco.

*

�� Draco was
slowly clenching his fists as he watched Potter and Weasley. It was as though
nothing had changed between them, as if Potter had never become special to him, as if Potter was the perfect little
Gryffindor he�d always acted like and he wasn�t Professor Snape�s son or Draco�s
protector or someone who would rescue Slytherins.

�� Then Potter
turned around and smiled at him, and Draco realized he hadn�t changed so much
after all. The main problem was, somehow he was both Gryffindor and Slytherin,
both Weasley�s friend and Draco�s friend.

�� And things
he denied, too.

�� Draco
wondered why so many contradictions weren�t tearing Potter apart.

�� I�m sorry
I got you angry, too,� Potter said. �But sometimes it becomes too much for me,
you know? Knowing that Voldemort is out there and threatening me.� He shut his
eyes and shivered. �And�the other things that are overwhelming me, they hurt.�
He opened one eye and squinted hard at Draco, as if to remind him to keep silent
about his being Professor Snape�s son in front of the Weasel.

�� As if I need telling, Draco thought
scornfully, but most of him was occupied in an intense study of Potter�s face.
He almost believed him. After all, being the special target of the Dark Lord�s
wrath was overwhelming.

�� Draco, who
saw his father�s face like a vision between him and most of Hogwarts wherever
he looked, knew that.

�� But he
couldn�t quite arrive at belief. Potter had put up with that burden before. And
he�d put up with knowing that he was Professor Snape�s son for weeks, if not
months and years, before that. Something had happened to change him.

�� Draco was
determined that Potter wouldn�t get away with concealing this.

�� I accept
your apology,� he replied smoothly. �But that discussion we were having? About
Potions? We can defer it, but not for long. I want to meet with you at eight in
the library so we can speak about it.�

�� Potter�s
face twisted, and he glared at Draco. Draco looked coolly back.

�� You�re not going to get away with keeping
everything to yourself.

�� Potter
flicked his eyes to the side and nodded. Draco wasn�t sure what had changed his
mind, guilt or desire not to reveal the truth in front of Weasley or something
else, but he accepted it as an ally. He nodded back and departed down the
corridor with great dignity. After all, it was time for his next class.

�� Behind him,
he heard Weasley ask a skeptical question and Potter reply in a tone that shut
debate down. Draco smiled grimly.

�� At least there�s that.

*

�� Severus
stood silently in a corner of the library under a Disillusionment Charm. He had
heard the conversation between Potter, Weasley, and Draco outside his classroom
earlier; he could hardly help hearing it, with the way their voices yelped and
chattered. He had also heard the appointment that Draco had reminded Potter of,
or, more likely, invented on the spot and got Potter to agree to.

�� It was the
kind of tactic that Severus himself would have used�had used in the years when he wanted to meet Lily and she seemed
too distracted by her Gryffindor friends to pay attention to him.

�� Lily, who bore your son.

�� Severus
took a slow, deep breath, silent enough that no one would notice the sound in
the quiet of the library, and shook his head. He was still getting used to that
knowledge. He did not know if it would ever settle completely in his head.

�� It cannot, if my son continues to deny me
the minimum of contact with him.

�� Before
Severus could brood on that too long and grow angry, he heard a stir at the
door of the library. Potter stood there, his brow furrowed and his eyes
searching the room for Draco. He seemed to see him long after Severus thought
he should have, but then, he had never been near-sighted himself. Potter picked
his way between the shelves as gingerly as though the books might bite him and
sat down at the table.

�� Draco
finished reading the page in his book before he put it down. He leaned forwards
and spoke so softly to Potter that Severus was glad he had not stood further
off. Casting an eavesdropping spell at the moment might be noticeable. �Thanks
for coming.�

�� You didn�t
give me much choice.� Potter folded his arms and glared. Severus studied the
way he moved his right arm and had to admit that Draco seemed to have healed
the wound well enough that it no longer restricted Potter�s range of motion.

�� Yes, I
know.� Draco offered no apology. �You have
changed. I want to know why.�

�� Potter bit
his lip, looking down. Severus�s eyes narrowed.

�� He will lie. Every word that emerges from
his mouth will be a lie.

�� A course of
action occurred to him, and he began to shift slowly to the side. From where he
stood, it would be risky, as he could see only part of Potter�s profile, not
his whole face.

�� It is too important that we know the truth
brewing in his mind, so that we may help him.

�� I know,�
Potter whispered. �But�since you know about my mum sleeping with someone else
anyway��

�� He would rather say that than admit I am his
father. Severus discovered he was clenching his hands into fists and forced
himself to stop with a small hiss. Potter glanced over his shoulder as if he
had heard something, and Severus froze, but Potter turned back to Draco again.
Severus decided it had simply been an incidental check for listeners, and began
to move once more.

�� You�ll
understand.� Potter gave a helpless little shrug. �It�s getting harder and
harder to bear. I�m looking at myself in the mirror now, wondering if something
will change about me that I can�t hide. I perform a spell or say something sarcastic
and wonder if it�s what I�ve inherited from him coming out. I have to
second-guess myself every moment. I live under his shadow, even though I won�t
let him acknowledge me. That�s what�s
getting to me.�

�� Yeah, I
can see that.� Draco sounded compassionate. �But there�s a simple way to deal
with it.�

�� There is?�
Potter sounded eager. Severus raised an eyebrow as he shifted forwards again. While I hardly think that the revelation of
his parentage alone is troubling him, it is doing so enough that he will grasp
at any solution.

�� Stop
denying who you are,� Draco said simply. �I spent a few days when I was younger
pretending I wasn�t my father�s son, and I hated it. No wonder the burden
weighs on you. It�s always contradicted by the truth sitting in the back of
your mind. Start accepting that you are Professor
Snape�s son and you can�t change that. Ask him for help. Look at him and learn
his traits, so you can know what�s you and what�s him in your behavior. Ask
about your mother. He must have known her better than you thought.�

�� Potter gave
a stiff, wary little jerk of his head, and Severus wondered if he was
remembering the mention of Lily Severus had slipped into their conversation. He
maneuvered to the side again. He was nearly in the perfect position for what he
wished to do.

�� I don�t
want to be a Snape,� Potter hissed. �I don�t want him as a father. I�m perfectly
happy the way I am.�

�� Draco had
the wits to frown at that, at least. �What the fuck, Potter?� he said, low and
precise, and Severus had to bite his tongue to still the automatic reprimand
about language. �You�re happy to have
this changing your behavior when you just admitted you were miserable?�

�� Potter
closed his eyes, and for long moments it seemed to Severus that he fought
against a burden greater than Severus himself had guessed.

�� There is something wrong with him, something
deep. I will know what it is. I deserve to know. He is my son.

�� The words
were no more than what he�d whispered to himself a myriad of times since
learning the truth, but they seemed to sink deeper this time, to weigh more.
Perhaps it was the evidence of Gryffindors and Draco knowing his son better
than he did. Perhaps it was the undeniable fact that Potter had acted strangely
in his classroom that afternoon.

�� Perhaps it
was the simple sight of those green eyes when they flicked open again, weary
and desperate.

�� I don�t
expect�� Potter said, and then shrugged and seemed to decide that he might as
well speak openly, or with partial openness. �I don�t expect anything from
Snape. I know that he�ll probably take great delight in torturing me if I ever
listen to him or talk about wanting something from him.� He laughed, a sound
that had a crack straight down the middle. �Imagine how much pleasure he�d take
in denying me something only he could
give me. It�s one thing to give me detentions or take points, but he�s not the
only professor who can do that. This would be unique. He�s probably drooling on
himself waiting for me to ask, the bastard.� Potter drove a hand through his
shaggy hair.

�� Severus
paused, breathing quietly. He could understand how such a mistaken impression
might persist in Potter�s head at first, but why would it still be there? He had made efforts to reach out. He had taken the initiative.

�� Unless
Potter no longer believed that, and was merely lying for the sake of Draco, who
looked properly shocked. But Severus did not think that was the case. There was
a heaviness about Potter�s eyes and a dustiness in his voice that said he was
convinced he was telling the truth.

�� I will give you what you ask for, Severus
thought at his son with heaviness of his own, if you ever ask me for anything.

�� He�s not
like that,� Draco said, in a soft voice, after enough time had passed that he
probably felt he had respected Potter�s reservations. �You don�t really know
him. Towards us, he does his duty.�

�� I know all
about duty,� Potter said, and his
fingers drove into the table nearly hard enough to make a scratch in the
surface.

�� You don�t
really know him,� Draco repeated, reaching out and taking Potter�s hand. �You
should ask him for him to talk to you. Perhaps you won�t get along immediately
or at all, but at least it would ease some of the strain you�re under. I want
to ease that strain.� His voice deepened, and his free hand wavered up and then
down to the table again. Severus thought he might have caressed Potter�s cheek
if not for the presence of other people in the library.

�� Why?�
Potter asked, blinking at Draco.

�� You helped
me,� Draco said, his voice lower than it had been before. He leaned forwards
again. Potter stared at him dumbly and didn�t seem to understand what the
movement meant, though Severus did. He fought the urge to close his eyes.

�� It would be like Lucius Malfoy�s son to want
someone marked for death, he thought. It
would be like Draco to decide that Potter was worthy of his attentions when he
had learned about his close, unwanted connection with Slytherin House.

�� Yes, but
that doesn�t mean you have to help me back.�

�� Potter�s
voice was wary, puzzled�defensive. In front of an audience he knew was present,
Severus would have said that he was projecting false modesty in hopes of being
reassured that of course other people loved him and wanted to help him.

�� As Potter
thought he was alone, Potter wondered again what sort of life this boy had led,
to make him so utterly certain those other people wouldn�t feel they owed him, to
reject claims that they eagerly made.

�� I want to.�

�� Severus
wouldn�t have thought that even Potter could be blind to what emotion shone in
Draco�s face, but he simply wrinkled up his forehead and eyed him sideways.

�� Severus
seized the chance. He thought Potter distracted sufficiently.

�� Legilimens, he intoned to himself, focusing
a great deal of his power as he made the small motion with his wand. This was
not an easy spell for even him to perform nonverbally.

�� It worked.
Potter�s Occlumency barriers had grown stronger of late, but only when he knew
an assault was coming. Unsuspected, Severus whispered past the barriers and
into the boy�s mind, driving at once towards the swirling center of darkness he
sensed there.

�� The
thoughts were clear enough, dominating the way Potter thought and felt completely.

�� I have to die. I know that it�s to save everyone
else and it�s the only way to get rid of this piece of Voldemort�s soul in me,
but I don�t want to die.

�� Severus
opened his eyes, shocked back into himself by the discovered information, and
found out that Potter could at least tell when Legilimency had been used on him,
if not resist it. He was on his feet, pulling to try and force Draco to release
the grasp on his hand, his eyes darting wildly from side to side.

�� Severus
raised a privacy charm of his own devising immediately. Should any students
glance in this direction, they would see Potter and Draco peacefully immersed
in books. He dropped the Disillusionment Charm when that was done and reached
out to clasp his son�s shoulder. Draco, in the meantime, had risen to his feet
and come around the table so that he could hold Potter more effectively. He
concealed his shock at Severus�s appearance manfully.

�� You are
planning to die,� Severus told Potter. �You need not. We will find another way.�
He bore down when Potter started struggling instinctively against him. �I will make another way. I wish to. You are my
son.� This time, he felt the strength of the claim. He thought the rightness
would come in time.

�� Potter
twisted again like a hooked fish, his eyes wide and panicked. �Dumbledore said
that I wasn�t supposed to tell anyone,� he said, and then covered his mouth
with one hand and tried to spring away from Severus.

�� Severus
pinned Potter�s arms to his sides with his own hands, driving Draco to
relinquish his grip, and reached into his pocket for a Calming Draught. As he
fought Potter to make him swallow it, he concentrated on the actions he would
take next, on how he would bring Potter from the library back to his quarters
and force him to speak.

�� Concentrating
on such things had kept him from murder in the past. It would keep him from
storming into the Headmaster�s office now and demanding to know what he had
been about, commanding Potter to keep such a dangerous and devastating secret
to himself.

*

�� Harry
locked his lips against the Calming Draught, hating it, hating both of them at the moment, but Snape more,
because he had stolen secrets from Harry�s mind that he had no right to steal.

�� Even when
the Draught flowed down his throat and he had to relax despite himself, he
locked his eyes grimly on Snape�s face and ignored Draco�s attempts to get his
attention.

�� I don�t care. I don�t care what he saw. I�ll make him drop it.

�� Having his help is worse than nothing.

�� And, just
to confirm all his foresight, Snape�s hand on his shoulder hurt him as he
steered Harry out of the library, and the wound on his arm felt as if it had
torn open again.

�� All he does is cause me pain. Why the fuck
would I want him to notice me?

��

*

�� DonnaNoir23:
Of course he is. The way he sees it, he has to hurt Snape before Snape hurts
him worse.

�� MewMew2;
Thank you! And yes, Draco is tired of that. Of course, here Harry�s resistance
and Snape�s quickness keep him from doing everything he wanted to.

�� bored137654:
Thank you! As for whether Harry will die, I promise Snape is going to fight as
hard as he can to save him.

�� Stargirl77:
Snape, being Snape, chose something else instead.

�� Candy_Flapjack:
Thank you! I�m glad you gave this one a chance.

�� SP777: He
has broken through one, but he may just have set up a higher one.

�� Mia: Thank
you! God knows I wish I could be writing it
too often.

�� k lave
demo: Snape won, but not in a way that will make Harry want to confide in him.

�� And yeah, I
don�t think that kind of fic is the one I should write. I find most deaged
plots creepy when one of the characters falls in love with the baby one.

�� Jacob:
Thank you!

�� Sneakyfox: You
are not the only one to think that!

�� tigermisse:
Thank you!

�� Slayerq: Thanks
for reviewing! Harry had no intention of spilling to Draco. He would have kept
it to himself until death or until someone forced it out into the open, as
Snape just did.

�� Thrnbrooke:
Glad you enjoyed it.

�� Svarra; He
is, but right now he�s more concerned with helping Harry.

�� Sharkoon:
Dumbledore does at least think the Horcrux is still that, despite seeing what
happened in the Great Hall. As for whether he had to tell him, I suspect he
tried to hold off as long as possible, since he�s only telling him after most
of the Horcruxes have been destroyed.

�� mucunagos:
Thank you! I�m attracted to those qualities in Harry as well, which is one
reason I write so many stories with him at the center.
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Practicing Liars