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Darkness Within The Light	By : crimson96 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 8759 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
Author's Notes: Chapter 21 is a shorter chapter than the previous few. Eris and I felt that it was time for a small breather, but this chapter is deliciously dark. Also, there is a very good meaning to this chapter that lies behind the words that have been written, and it is most important as this story continues forward. Just a note to all of the readers that have left feedback, for myself and Eris I want to personally say "thank you". And I hope that you all continue to read and enjoy the story. It is reading your feedback that helps to make writing and editing each chapter that much more enjoyable. So for now we present to you, chapter 21!

Chapter 21: My Reason For Being

The hard-packed earth yielded under Narcissa's fingernail, a strip of the clay-like material peeling off, just like the shaven dark chocolate she had sometimes used to prepare fancy desserts. She scratched again, deepening the mark on the wall. The mark was the fourth of its kind, and assuming that Kraven's visits happened twice daily, it signified her fourth day of captivity.

Her ritual completed, she turned her back to the wall and crouched down on the balls of her feet near the doorway. Although it exhausted her, she preferred this posture since it kept her poised in case Lucius decided to visit her again. She had planned his next visit a hundred times in her mind, had played it out over and over again. First, the iron door above would creak, alerting her to an impending visitor. She would be able to tell from the sound of the footsteps that it was Lucius and not the house elf. Lucius' steps would be louder and more widely spaced, and when she heard them (if she happened to be across the room), she would race to the door, and crouch as she was now.

The lock on the wooden door would click. She would feel a rush of air as the door swung open and another as it bounced back from the wall. Lucius would step across the threshold, and she would dive at his legs, pulling his feet from underneath him. His head would hit the stone floor, and she would take him by the hair and crack his skull once more to make sure that he stayed down, dazed but not dead. Once she took his wand, the first word past her lips would be "Imperio!" and she would proceed to question him until she found out what he had done with Draco. If her son lived, so would Lucius, although she would leave him locked in here when she apparated into the bright glory of her garden. And if the unthinkable were true, if Draco were dead, Lucius would join him.

Once outside, her eyes would drink in the light along with the colors and smells. She would gulp fresh water from the fountain, and she would use it to scrub off the grime that never seemed to come clean, even with Kraven's cleansing spells. She could finally heal the festering, burning wound on her face, the one Lucius had left four days ago with his ring. When she had asked Kraven to heal it for her, he had sobbed and pounded his own face with his fists, but Lucius' order had won out in the creature's brain; Mistress Narcissa was to be tended but not healed. She would have an ugly scar because of that, and she toyed with the idea of giving her husband one to match.

Time passed. Her feet and ankles went stiff and then numb before giving out under her. When the shriek of the iron door came, it woke her from a light doze, and she raised her head up from the floor, her heart racing with equal parts hope and fear. It would only be Kraven, she told herself, bracing for the disappointing sound of the elf's light, shuffling steps. However, the sound she heard next was the sharp, mistakable thud of Lucius's cane hitting the floor. His footsteps followed, and she felt herself tremble as she rose into her attack position.

The lock clicked, and she smiled in anticipation. She felt a surreal sense of deja vu as the door swung inwards and bounced back, assaulting her with a rush of air that smelled of Lucius' cologne. She lunged at his legs, throwing her weight into the attack. He reeled, cursing, and fell backwards, but before she heard the sound of his body striking the floor, she heard the word "Incarcero."

Rough ropes bit into her wrists and ankles, and Lucius kicked her in the jaw as he disentangled from her. Her hopes died, and as she had so many times before, she started babbling apologies and excuses, hating herself as each pathetic word came out of her mouth. "Forgive me! I was only throwing myself at your feet to beg for mercy. Please, Lucius! I've learned my place! Release me!"

Something harder and colder than a fist struck her across the cheek, then the back of the head. The next sensation she felt was that of her arms being jerked above her head, pulling her to her feet and then to the tips of her toes. The rope connecting her bound wrists cut more deeply than before, and she felt something metallic bite into her skin. It was the hook, she realized, a gruesome thing that hung from the ceiling in the center of the room. Its chain could be adjusted to various heights, and Lucius had made it so that her toes could touch the floor only if she hyperextended her ankles. Relaxing her feet meant that she hung from her wrists, and her hands were already going dangerously numb. Her muscles spasmed in this unnatural position, and she wondered how long she had hung here before regaining consciousness. She adjusted her weight carefully, trying to strike a delicate balance that spread the force evenly between her wrists and her toes.

"Lumos," Lucius whispered.

The glow from the tip of his wand burned into her light-deprived eyes so that even when she closed them, the image of her husband's face remained branded into the backs of her eyelids. The light grew more intense, and her arms jerked with the instinct to shield her face. Even squeezing her eyelids as tightly closed as possible did not alleviate the pain.

"Please, it's so bright!" she cried.

"It is as if I am truly seeing you for the first time," Lucius muttered. He jabbed her with what she guessed was the silver cane, making her lose her balance and flop like a caught fish. "I was a fool to overlook your sister's blood treason, to think you would be able to provide me with a strong and noble heir."

Her stomach knotted. Had he done something to hurt Draco? She feared to ask, as if him saying the words would make them true, and so she stayed silent, flinching as he continued to prod her with the cane.

"You lied, Narcissa!" He punctuated his accusation with a blow across the injured side of her face. "Draco went to the house of Black, but he had no intention of obeying my orders. When Potter refused my offer of alliance, Draco chose to protect him from me."

"You didn't..." she began, but was unable to finish the question. Her eyes had adjusted to the light enough that she could open them, but Lucius' face told her nothing.

"I pondered about Draco's disobedience, questioning its source." He turned the head of his silver cane and drew out the blade concealed inside. Silently, he raised the dagger and put the tip of it between her breasts. It traveled downward in a sick parody of a lover's caress, leaving a trail of agony and splitting the front of her gown until the knife point rested just below her navel. "And I realized that this-" he jabbed, deepening the wound and eliciting a scream from Narcissa "- this is where his deficiency began!"

She twisted to the side, causing the point of the blade to scrape across her belly. Desperately, she balanced on the toes of one foot and aimed a kick at his wrist with the other. Her foot caught the edge of the dagger instead, and another explosion of pain wracked her body.

"What have you done with our son, Lucius?" she panted, gritting her teeth and fighting the pull of oblivion. Black splotches splashed across her vision, growing thicker. Her gown was wet with blood, and her feet were slipping in it.

Lucius sighed dramatically and contorted his face into a caricature of regret. "Draco sealed his own death when he called a Patronus against me."

She didn't believe him. He was lying- he had to be. "Then tell me..." Her head spun. Glowing motes of light danced with the exploding darkness. "Tell me how he died, Lucius!"

"I've told you enough." Lucius wiped the dagger on a clean part of her gown and put it away.

She slumped, no longer strong enough to fight for balance when her toes kept sliding in the growing pool of blood. "I'm glad he chose Harry," she said softly, not caring if saying it spurred him to kill her. Death would mean being reunited with her son. "I'm glad... he followed his heart. I'm proud of him, Lucius! More so than ever."

"Then you're proud to be a dead man's mother." Lucius raised the cane again, feinted a blow to her face, and lowered it, smiling at his own petty jest. "Know this- your usefulness to me is nearly at an end."

Lucius' next blow was real, and it landed across her forearm with a reverberating crack. The pain from her other injuries was as nothing compared to the agony of her newly broken arm pulled taught by the weight of her body. Draco, she thought fiercely, my son, my reason for being. Before, Narcissa had used the image of Draco's face, the smile he wore only for her, to escape from the pain of Lucius' attacks. Now Lucius had taken even that from her; each time she pictured her son's face, it was still and ashen, surrounded by the silken padding of a coffin.

"Know this, Narcissa-your usefulness to me is nearly at an end."

His words sounded faint and tinny, as distant as all of the other sensations in her body. The pain could almost belong to someone else. She willed the blood to flow more rapidly from the wounds, hoping that Lucius had miscalculated and had delivered a mortal wound by mistake. Her usefulness was nearly at an end- that meant he still needed her. Joining Draco was the surest way to spite him.

Lucius stood before Narcissa, watching her thrash in place, helpless and whimpering. The ruins of her gown had fallen off of her shoulders, revealing flesh that gleamed like polished white marble in contrast to the crimson gash that ran the length of her torso. The sight of her humiliation stirred him, but he restrained himself. Like Draco, Narcissa was dead to him, a necessary sacrifice. "That's right, Cissy," he muttered, nodding to himself. "Sacrifice."

Narcissa's moans became weaker until her body went limp from exhaustion and blood loss.

Lucius stepped closer, being careful to avoid the slightest drop of blood with his boot. Slowly, he reached over and softly caressed Narcissa's face with his gloved hand before lifting her left eyelid and observing the unfocused gaze of her eye. Though she managed not to flinch at the light, her pupil contracted to pinhead diameter. He repeated this process with her right eye before stepping back.

"Hmm." The sound escaped Lucius' throat as his right index finger and thumb stroked the silver snake on the cane. "Narcissa," he called.

Lucius hoisted his cane upward and extended it out so that the metal tip of it gently lifted Narcissa's chin upward. Lucius studied his wife's face before again calling her name with more emphasis. "Narcissa!" Once more the elder Malfoy raised his cane, but instead of using it to tilt Narcissa's head up, he brought it down with a smashing thud on her broken arm. Narcissa screamed, and her right arm twitched as it trying to reach her left.

"No, no, my dear you are not going to deceive me like that," Lucius said. "You may be weak, but your sacrifice is not yet at hand."

Narcissa growled like a caged animal as she flexed her feeble muscles, straining against the bonds.

"You are worth more to me alive than you are dead," Lucius said as he coldly smiled at his wife.

"Where is Draco, Lucius?"

"But I've already told you, dear; Draco has made his choice and brought about the natural consequence. Now, if you wish to know all of the answers before you will yourself to a premature death with your son, I would strongly advise you to not attempt any more surprises."

"Please, Lucius!" Narcissa sobbed, "Please, tell me, what has happened to my baby?"

Lucius slowly walked around Narcissa as she hung there, suspended by the hook. His cold stare measured every inch and curvature of Narcissa's body, as if looking at it in remembrance for a final time. He circled around her twice before coming to a stop inches from her face. "All in due time." Lucius rounded on the balls of his feet and marched out of the room, extinguishing his wand light, and closing both doors, leaving Narcissa to dwell in the dark.

"Kraven!" Lucius called as he exited the stair that led up from the dungeon. The house elf instantly appeared with a small, silver tray of food, along with a glass of water. "Never mind her food. She has had her punishment for the day. Go and tend to her wounds. You will not use any magic to tend to her; you will use your own hands."

"Yes, Master," the house elf said as he bowed deeply to Lucius, touching the floor in the process.

"Make her…presentable, Kraven. If everything goes to plan, very soon we shall have guests. I would hate for them to seem…unwelcome."

"Very good, Master Malfoy," the elf said with another long bow.

"When you have finished, come to my study. I have another task for you. Remember what I have told you before, Kraven."

Lucius walked away from the house elf before Kraven could bow once more. The house elf turned and walked down the dark stairway muttering to himself. "Kraven must do as Master orders, or else Kraven will suffer a greater punishment than Mistress Narcissa."

Half a minute later Kraven had reached the two doors and opened them with a snap of his fingers. The dim light and fresh air cut through the haze of blood loss and pain, awakening Narcissa from her tortured half-sleep.

"Lucius!" She whispered as the pain of her injuries hit her instantly.

"Mistress Narcissa must be very still." Again, Kraven snapped his fingers. Narcissa felt her body float away from the metallic hook, and gently glide down to the cold floor.

"Master Malfoy expects Kraven to work in the dark," the elf grumbled," but Kraven must have enough light to tend to Mistress Narcissa." A third snap of the house elf's fingers elicited a small light that hovered over their heads.

"Kraven has been ordered by the Master to tend to your wounds," Kraven said as he snapped his fingers yet again. A bowl filled with a clear liquid appeared as well as a several bandages and soft cloths.

"Just heal me, please!" Narcissa begged. Kraven's magic had brought her instantaneous relief so many times before.

The house elf made a strangled sound and looked down at his oversized feet, which were grimy with a mixture of dirt and Narcissa's blood. "Kraven cannot, Mistress. Kraven's orders are to tend Mistress with Kraven's hands, and not with magic." With another choked sob, he threw himself at the wall, pounding his head into the hard-packed earth.

"Stop that!" Narcissa sighed as she looked down for the first time, taking note of her wounds. "I- I rescind my order. Do what you can without magic. Start with my arm. I think he broke it."

Kraven lightly touched the top of her arm. The sensations caused Narcissa to inhale sharply as the pain traveled through her body and registered in her brain. "With magic, Kraven could mend your bone." His ears drooped, and his nose twitched sorrowfully. "Without magic, it is uncertain."

"Try to set it. Grab it and push it back down but before you do place a cloth in my mouth." The house elf did as was ordered, and after a muffled nod from Narcissa, grabbed the broken bone and thrust downward. Narcissa screamed as loud as she could into the cloth while stars sparkled in the light before her eyes. The pain ravaged her body, and she fell to the floor.

Minutes later, her screams subsided, and the house elf helped her into a sitting position once more. Kraven took the cloth from Narcissa's mouth as she whimpered in agony at the burning sensation that ran along her left arm.

"Thank you, Kraven," she breathlessly whispered. "My foot next."

The house elf looked at the deep gash and winced. "Mistress has a nasty cut on her foot; very deep. Mistress Narcissa should bite down on the cloth once more."

Narcissa did as she was asked. Kraven took a smaller cloth and dipped it into the bowl of clear liquid. "This will hurt Mistress," he said as he looked into Narcissa's eyes for approval to continue. Again, another muffled grunt came from her as she braced herself for another round of agony.

The house elf placed the soaked cloth on the wound. Narcissa felt as if she wanted to jump through the roof of the dungeon room. She violently shook her head and screamed into the cloth. Kraven re-applied the cloth twice more, making sure to cover the entire wound with the liquid antiseptic. He then wrapped the soaked cloth with a larger one around her foot.

Narcissa removed the cloth from her mouth with her right hand as she breathed through heavy sobs. Tears trailed down her face, stinging as they crossed the wound on her cheek. "Soak another large cloth, Kraven, and hand it to me. I would rather tend to this last one myself."

Her breaths quickened before she pressed the soaked cloth between her breasts and slowly dabbed it along the cut, making sure to hold it just below her navel. She held the cloth in front of her face and noticed how much blood had soaked into it.

"Another one, Kraven," she said, and repeated the process once more. In her mind she recorded every ounce of pain that she was feeling at this moment. If she ever escaped from this room, Lucius would feel the same amount of torture as this.

Narcissa repeated this for the next several minutes, each cloth becoming less bloody than the previous. When she had finished, Kraven snapped his fingers and the bloody cloths and antiseptic disappeared only to be replaced by a fresh supply of cloths and another bowl of liquid.

"It is only water, Mistress Narcissa," Kraven said. "Kraven must make Mistress Narcissa presentable."

"Presentable?" She asked as Kraven wet one of the cloths and began rubbing it across Narcissa's dirty face.

"Master Malfoy did not say why, only that Kraven is to do as told," the house elf said while he continued to clean her face. Once he had finished removing the dirt, he snapped his fingers and the tattered remnants of her nightgown were replaced with a loose-fitting, dark green robe.

"Lucius. What are you planning now?" Narcissa asked out loud.

Kraven stepped back. "Kraven is so sorry that he cannot help Mistress Narcissa any further. Kraven will bring food and water shortly."

"Wait a moment, Kraven!" Narcissa said as she reached out toward the house elf. "You can help me, you must!"

Kraven folded his arms against his chest, and shook his head. "It is against the rules. Master Malfoy has ordered Kraven only to tend to your wounds, and to bring you food and water. Kraven will obey the Master."

"Kraven, please! You are my only chance!"

"Kraven is so sorry, but Mistress Malfoy is not of the noble house of Malfoy. Mistress' blood is tainted by the house of Black, a family with blood traitors."

Narcissa recoiled as if she had been slapped. "Kraven, I am a member of this house-the house of Malfoy. It is your binding oath and duty to serve those who are members of this house, blood be damned! I am a Malfoy, and you will show me your loyalty!"

Kraven stood in place muttering as Narcissa gently leaned forward on her knees, ignoring the fresh wave of pain that her body was feeling. She wanted to look into Kraven's yellow eyes and to reach the being that existed beneath the magical bonds of a house elf.

She forced her right arm upward, dragging her useless left arm and her bound wrists with it. The pain sent a fresh wave of stars exploding across her field of vision, but she gritted her teeth and bit back the scream that rose in her throat. Her muscles trembling, she moved her hands until they rested on Kraven's, and she wrapped the soft, cold fingers of her right hand around Kraven's rough, calloused paw.

"I know that loyalty is a house elf's calling in life. You are loyal to that family whom you serve. I am asking you to look beyond the rules, look beyond blood status, and look with your own heart."

She felt Kraven's hand jerk in hers as he tried to free himself from her grip, and she nearly lost consciousness again from the pain. The house elf's eyes darted left and right frantically looking for something with which to punish himself.

"Kraven will not listen to Mistress," he said as he began to speak in gibberish and scream as Narcissa tried to calmly talk to him.

Narcissa admired the creature's loyalty to his duty, but knew that she had to at least get him to listen to her. "Kraven, please stop that. I order you to stop screaming and listen to me." Immediately, the house elf stopped and went limp in Narcissa's grip.

"Thank you," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I know that you cannot help me, as it is against Lucius' orders, but you can listen to me. Please, think about your loyalty and how it is being used against you right now."

She sighed before continuing. "If a husband is a good and loyal man, would he keep his wife as I am? Would a good master punish his house elves, by making them burn their hands in the fire? Or force them to tolerate the constant abuse and insults that Lucius hurls upon you?

"As for myself I have never raised my voice or threatened you in any manner. I have always tried to be very kind and respectful to the house elves at Malfoy Manor. Now, I am going to let go of you, but I need you to stay here until I am finished talking."

"Yes, Mistress Narcissa is correct," Kraven said as he bowed his head down onto his tiny chest.

She released the house elf and he stood there waiting on her to speak. "Alright now, Lucius has said that Draco is dead, can you confirm that?"

"Master Malfoy has not told Kraven of young Master Draco's demise."

A single hopeful thought ran through Narcissa's mind before she continued. "What is Lucius planning?"

"Kraven does not have the answers to that question, Mistress."

"Has Lucius had any visitors since I have been kept down here?"

Kraven swayed for a moment as if hesitating to answer. "Yes. The Master has had visitors."

Narcissa's eyebrow arched upward in a traditional Malfoy swagger. "Really? And what are the names of these visitors?"

Kraven began to beat his head upon the stone floor, as Narcissa sat there watching. She knew that all she could do was to continue to speak to the house elf and hope that he would not apparate away.

"Kraven, it is most important that I know the names," she said as Kraven stopped his tantrum.

"So sorry but Kraven had to punish himself. Master Malfoy said for Kraven to tend to Mistress and nothing more."

"Alright, Lucius, two can play at this game," she muttered to herself before turning to Kraven. "Kraven, I order you not to punish yourself in any manner while you are speaking to me. You must answer my questions truthfully."

The house elf folded his arms and looked as if he wanted to run headlong into the dirt-packed wall, but succumbed to his loyalty before answering, "Yes, Mistress Narcissa."

"Now, I need to know the name of these visitors?"

"Kraven only knows of one because Kraven overheard it earlier today. The name is Phillipe."

"Phillipe?" Narcissa said as her mind quickly raced back in time gathering information on the name. "He was sentenced to Nurmengard a number of years ago for killing numerous Muggles. Even the Dark Lord did not grant him his freedom because he could not be trusted. Why would Lucius be working with him now?"

"Kraven must be going soon as Kraven is supposed to meet Master Malfoy in the study." The house elf's eyes darted to the door as if he longed for an escape.

"Very well. Thank you, Kraven, for your help and for trusting me with your loyalty," Narcissa said as, once again, she bit back the pain and extended her right hand to touch Kraven's arm, stopping him before he could apparate away.

"Mistress requires something else?"

"Yes. Could you please leave a damp cloth? Also could you slightly loosen these bonds so that I can wipe away the blood and dirt that is under them?"

Kraven looked very long at Narcissa, almost as if trying to read her mind. "Kraven is not to help free Mistress Narcissa."

"You will not be helping to free me, Kraven. I merely want to tend to my wounds that these rope binds have created, and I cannot do that with these as they are."

Narcissa held out her wrists so that Kraven could closely look at the bonds around her wrists. "Master Malfoy did order Kraven to help tend to Mistress Narcissa's wounds. Kraven would not be disobeying an order from the Master," he said as he snapped his fingers. The house elf disappeared, leaving Narcissa to her darkness.

The bonds around Narcissa's wrists had loosened enough for her to be able to move. "Thank you, Kraven, you have helped me more than you could possibly imagine," she said as her fingers began the slow and agonizing process of trying to untie the knots.

Lucius sat at the large desk and unrolled a small piece of parchment. His eyes scanned the words that were hastily scribbled onto it before twisting it, and placing the tip of the parchment into the candle light. The parchment burned into blackened ashes as Lucius calmly flicked the rest of the parchment into the fireplace.

"Indeed, everything is now ready," Lucius said softly. "Everything that is, except for one final piece."

A small knock came from the door as Lucius straightened in his chair. "Enter," his voice boomed throughout the room. Kraven appeared as the door slowly opened, revealing the office to the small house elf. After motioning for Kraven to approach the desk, Lucius stood up, towering over the house elf.

"You have done what I ordered?" Lucius asked.

"Yes, Master. Kraven has done exactly as Master Malfoy has ordered. Kraven has tended to Mistress Narcissa's wounds with Kraven's hands."

Lucius smiled, imaging how Narcissa must have begged and pleaded with Kraven, and how she must have felt when denied his help. "Good. Now I order you to carry out one more directive."

"Yes, Master. Kraven will do whatever it is that Master Malfoy wants. Kraven must do so, as it is Kraven's loyalty to the Master," Kraven said as he reached out and tried to touch the hem of Lucius' robes.

Lucius scowled as if he had been kissed by a diseased animal. "Yes, it is," he commented as he stepped back away from Kraven's reach. "I order you to find Draco."

"Then Master Draco lives?" Kraven tilted his over-large head and brought his hands together above his breast. "May Kraven inform Mistress Narcissa? Mistress is so worried..."

"No!" Lucius barked. "You will leave the Manor without speaking to Narcissa. Search out Draco at all of the likely places he and Potter would go- Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley, Knockturn Alley, the Weasley hovel. Start with those places. Once you find Draco, you will inform him that his mother is injured. You will not tell him the nature of her injuries. Is that completely understood, Kraven?"

"Yes, Master," the house elf said with a low bow.

"They will ask you many different questions. You are to answer their questions, but do not reveal the extent of Narcissa's injuries. Once you have convinced Draco that his mother needs him you are to return here quickly.

"Now go, but remember, Kraven, it is in Draco's best interest that he returns home. Do not fail me. I have killed one house elf already, and I have no qualms about killing another."

"Kraven will not fail you, Master," the house elf said as he apparated out of sight.

Lucius coldly looked at the place where the house elf had been. "I'm counting on that Kraven. Come home Draco!" He raised his arms in an expansive gesture. "Come home to your family."
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Darkness Within The Light