Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Punish Me	By : Sparrowhawk Category: Harry Potter > Threesomes/Moresomes Views: 133350 -:- Recommendations : 5 -:- Currently Reading : 45
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter in any way, shape, or form and make no profit from this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 1-Assertion
- 2-Attack
- 3-Breakdown
- 4-Encounter
- 5-Punishment
- 6-Contact
- 7-Bitten
- 8-Scars
- 9-Play
- 10-Invitation
- 11-Abduction
- 12-Obedience
- 13-Tease
- 14-Learning
- 15-Venture
- 16-Protecting
- 17-Mistakes
- 18-Visit
- 19-Impromptu
- 20-Trigger
- 21-Healing
- 20
- 21
I know it's been a super, super, super long time since I've updated my fic (both of my fics, really), and if you want to know why I already wrote out a whole huge long explanation in my review forum, here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/47397-punish-me-review-replies/
I hope—really, really hope—that updates won't take so long in the future, but I make no promises given everything that is still going on with my phyiscal and mental health. But since it has been a super, super, super long time, I'm just going to get right to the chapter.
Okay, not quite, I have to once again thank everyone who has supported me, who have left such wonderful reviews, who have left me well wishes for my surgery and health, and who have waited so patiently for the next update. You guys are the best, and I love and appreciate you all perhaps more than you can imagine :) Now, seriously, on to the chapter!!
Warnings: male x male sexual stuff (if you're not expecting this already in this story, well ... I guess you'll be surprised, won't you? Lol!), Teddy mood swings, another trigger thing (a smaller one compared to the last), flashback, heavy talk, fluff, cuteness, awesome Domliness on Severus' part, and whatever else I might be forgetting, lol!

Chapter Twenty-One

Harry woke feeling light, though a bit sluggish. He was warm and comfortable, cocooned in soft blankets that felt as if they'd had a warming charm put on them. That had had a warming charm put on them, he remembered. Severus had wrapped it around him after he'd initially fallen asleep, which had woken him briefly, but with a few soothing words from his Dom he'd quickly succumbed to sleep once more. The words had included something about warming charms and Severus being called away by the Headmistress to take care of some misbehaving Slytherin students. He remembered thinking, vaguely, that he hoped Teddy was not among those misbehaving Slytherins. He didn't want to play favorites with his godson, but neither did he want to see him punished. Yet at the same time he also knew Severus would be fair to Teddy, especially given the man was Teddy's Head of House.
And my Master, he thought with a small, contented smile. And he knew from Severus' behavior with him, with Draco, with Lucius, with Nicolas, with Charity, and others, that there were no safer hands for his godson to be in, whether he misbehaved or not. It was a peculiar but wonderful feeling, knowing in every particle of his being that Severus was safe with any part of his life he wanted to entrust to him.
Yawning and stretching languidly, Harry sat up and looked around himself for his glasses, which Severus had removed sometime before he left, no doubt to keep them from being broken. It took him a few seconds of squinting and peering around, but he finally found them on the table in front of the sofa. Under them was a folded note that, when he opened it, he found was basically a repeat of what Severus had told him before he left and an order to send a house elf back to the restaurant to get the food he'd originally wanted at the munch.
He shivered, the thought of the munch leading, inevitably, to his encounter with Calvin and his subsequent trigger. It made him pull the blanket more firmly around his shoulders and lean unconsciously toward the place Severus had occupied earlier, until he noticed he was doing it and the spot was cold anyway, and sat up again, tucking his legs under himself, feeling just a bit lost.
Unpleasant memories were starting to crowd forward when the door opened and he leapt up like a startled cat, clutching the blanket tight to his chest.
"Mr. Potter, are you all right?"
Harry blinked several times, thrown by the formal way Severus was addressing him. Until, that is, he saw a head of hair flashing between a dull grey and sickly green appear around the Potions master's side. Teddy.
Straightening, he pulled the blanket from around himself and folded it over on the arm of the sofa. Not wanting to lie, even now, Harry shook his head but only said, "You startled me."
Severus' mouth tightened marginally, his eyes doing a careful sweep of, first, his submissive and the stress lines around his mouth and eyes, and then the room in search of something that might have caused his jumpiness. But there was nothing. Everything was just as he'd left it barring the fact that Harry was awake, had his glasses on, and the note Severus had left was clutched between his fingers. Perhaps he still wasn't settled after being triggered that afternoon. He'd have to sit him down to talk it out when they were alone again. "My apologies," he responded smoothly, and stepped aside, gesturing Harry's godson into the room.
Harry's brow furrowed in concern when he saw the color of his godson's eyes. They were as black as Severus' eyes, but he didn't think that was because Teddy was mimicking him, and the only other time he'd seen them that color was the day he'd been rejected from the wizarding primary school by the teacher for being the son of a werewolf. Harry had spoken harshly to the Headmaster of the school and received many embarrassed apologies and an assurance that his godson was welcome to attend, but Harry refused to send his godson back there upon meeting the man who had turned Teddy away. Though he was not an "evil" man by any means, there was prejudice in his every word regarding magical creatures, and Harry did not trust him to treat Teddy fairly. He'd then had to have a long talk with Teddy about his father, werewolves, and the mistakes people made regarding those infected by lycanthropy because of fear. It was the hardest and most emotional talk he'd ever had to have with the young Metamorphmagus.
"What happened?" he asked, directing his question at both Severus and his godson. When Teddy just stared down at his feet, he turned his full attention to Severus. "You said Professor McGonagall called you away because of some misbehaving students. Was Teddy ...?"
"No, Mr. Lupin was not among those students," Severus reassured him, the corner of his lips lifting when he saw the younger wizard let out a relieved breath, "I simply found him lurking outside your chambers and thought it wise to bring it to your attention."
"Thank you, sir, I'll talk with him."
Severus inclined his head and retreated to the door. "Then I will give you some privacy and return later to continue our conversation. Send an owl when you're finished."
"Yes, sir," Harry replied with a smile.
With a nod of his head, the older wizard exited the room and shut the door quietly behind him.
When Harry returned his attention to his godson, his arms were folded and his eyes shrewd. "What's between you and Professor Snape?" he demanded.
Harry furrowed his brows, not at the question—though it did startle him—but at the tone his godson asked it in. Almost as if he disliked Severus despite their interaction at Andromeda's house.
"We're in a relationship," Harry answered honestly, seeing no reason to lie to his godson. Teddy, like Andromeda, knew he was bent.
He made a face. "But ... he's so old."
Harry raised both eyebrows and folded his arms. There was a limit to how much rudeness he was willing to put up with, even from his godson. "I don't believe the difference in age between he and I is really any of your business, Teddy. Besides, you seemed to like him well enough when he came over to your grandmother's house. What are you really upset about?"
"I'm not upset."
"No?"
Teddy glowered at him and his jaw muscles clenched as he replied through gritted teeth, "No."
Harry gave him a skeptical look, but decided to drop it for the time being. Teddy would talk when he was ready, and not before. He'd been that way since he'd first learned how.
"Why don't you sit down. Do you want some tea? Pumpkin juice? Butterbeer? Biscuits?"
Teddy gave him a strange look as he shuffled over to the sofa and sat down. "Butterbeer, I guess ... and some biscuits."
Smiling, Harry nodded and retreated to the kitchen where he quickly filled two mugs with butterbeer and arranged some biscuits on a plate. Teddy wasn't sitting when he returned, but stood examining the wall of photographs. He glanced over when Harry set the plate and mugs on the coffee table, but didn't return to the sofa. Harry sat down anyway and sipped at his butterbeer as he waited for Teddy to decide what he was going to do.
"How come Professor Snape's picture isn't here?"
Harry tilted his head a bit as he looked up. "Why should it be?"
"Well ..." Teddy spoke slowly, as if Harry was a particularly obtuse younger child he had to explain a very simple concept to. "... you're in a relationship with him."
Harry nodded, speaking just as seriously, though less as if Teddy were obtuse, "Yes, but that relationship is very new, and right now only a few people know about it."
"Why? Is it because he's old and he used to be your professor?"
"Edward Remus Lupin," Harry scolded with a deep frown, "you have no right nor need to disparage my relationship with Professor Snape. Being upset is no reason to take your frustration or anger out on other people."
"I'm not upset!" Teddy shouted, face red and eyes squinted as if he was about to cry.
Letting out a harsh breath and then breathing slowly in again to calm himself down, Harry nodded and responded, "I can see that. And to answer your rather rude question, we have only told a select few people because our relationship is so new." Among other reasons, but Teddy didn't need to hear about those at his age. He would have plenty of time to explore his own sexuality and preferences as he went through adolescence, and needed no overt influence from Harry. "Professor Snape and I are both adults in an adult relationship. What we do in that relationship and who we decide to tell about it is our business. Is that clear, Teddy?"
Face still flushed red, Teddy looked down and dug the toe of his shoe into the carpet. "Yeah," he muttered sullenly.
"Good. Now come sit down and have some butterbeer. I think it'll help you feel better."
"I'm not-"
"Upset, I know," Harry finished for his godson, holding back the exasperation he couldn't help feeling at the continued denial. "Come have a drink, anyway."
Sullen as he was and unwilling as he appeared to be, Teddy, nevertheless, shuffled over to the sofa and sat down, picking up the mug Harry hadn't used and taking a sip, then a larger swallow that made his Adam's apple bob. He sighed and slumped against the back of the sofa, dark eyes closing. When he opened them again there was a hint of Harry's green around the pupils as he took one of the biscuits Harry offered and bit into it. He ate that one in three bites, another two in four bites between them, and then nibbled on the fourth biscuit.
Taking another drink of his own butterbeer, Harry leaned back more comfortably and ventured quietly, "How do you like your classes so far?"
"They're all right. History of Magic is interesting. We're learning about the legends of the origin of magic."
Harry chuckled. "That's more than I can say for what I learned in History of Magic. I'm glad they finally replaced Professor Binns, and that he agreed to it without much fuss. I don't think the goblin wars and rebellions are as all important as his teaching it every class would imply. I forget the new professor's name, though."
"Professor Wetherton. And he's not exactly new; this is his third year."
Shrugging, Harry conceded that. "Well, new to me. What about your other classes? Do you have a favorite? Least favorite?"
Teddy frowned and thought for a long moment before lifting one shoulder. "I don't really have a favorite or least favorite, I guess. I like them all pretty much equally."
Unsurprised, Harry nodded and sipped some more at his butterbeer. Teddy was just that way. He loved learning; it didn't really matter what the subject was. Which begged the question, why was he so stressed and upset?
If it wasn't his classes, which he seriously doubted it was, then it had to be either one of the teachers or something outside of class. Perhaps the same type of prejudice and bullying he'd been subjected to during primary school. With the help of the teachers in that particular primary school, they'd been able to curb the bullying, but he didn't know if he'd be able to do the same here, or if his interference might just make it worse. He knew all about bullying becoming worse after adult involvement from his own experiences in primary school, after all. It didn't help that his aunt and uncle reinforced their son's actions by punishing him for telling the teacher what they believed were "filthy little freak lies," either.
At least Teddy didn't have that on top of everything else. He had a loving grandmother, a loving surrogate family in the Weasleys, and Harry, who loved him as dearly as he would his own son and would always be on his side.
"Harry?"
"Yes, Moonlet?"
"I'm sorry about what I said about ... about Professor Snape."
A little startled to have an apology so soon after his godson's rude behavior, Harry gave him a speculative look, noting the still dark eyes and his hair that had shifted from its greyish, sickly green color to a dark dijon mustard yellow. He tilted the corner of his lips into a half smile and gave a little acknowledging nod. That yellow usually meant he was regretting whatever he'd said or done and was sincerely trying to make amends. "Just try not to do it again, okay? I like Professor Snape, and I'd like to see where our relationship is going to go, but ... if it makes you truly unhappy ..."
"No," Teddy shook his head back and forth in quick little jerks. "No, it doesn't. I like Professor Snape, too." He flushed, and hurried to add, "In a different way, though!"
Harry laughed and reached over to ruffle his godson's hair. "Of course. But why would you say things like that in the first place if you actually like Professor Snape?"
Teddy's eyes immediately went to his hands as he twisted his fingers together around his mug of butterbeer. "I don't know ... I guess I was just upset that he caught me outside and dragged me in here before I was really ready ... and ... and, well, he was ... he was just ..."
"A convenient target," Harry finished for him when it seemed his godson was having trouble finding the right words.
He shrugged one shoulder. "Yeah."
"Do you want to tell me what you were trying to get ready to talk to me about?"
Lips stretched tight in refusal, Teddy shook his head, then hunched his shoulders as if he expected a scolding for it.
"All right, Moonlet, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Setting his half empty mug on the coffee table, Harry reached over and put his arm around Teddy's stiff shoulders, ignoring the wide-eyed look of surprise at the same time. "If you change your mind, though, my door's always open. Day or night, if you need to talk, I'm here."
"Really? Any time?"
Harry nodded. "Any time."
"Even after curfew?"
"Provided you don't get caught, yes, even after curfew. But don't expect me to get you out of serving detention if you do get caught. By that I mean think carefully before you decide to break curfew. Or any other rule for that matter. I want you to think about whether the consequences are worth it. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I think so."
"Good. Are you finished with your butterbeer?"
Taking one last long swallow, Teddy nodded and passed the empty mug into Harry's waiting hand.
"Do you want any more biscuits?"
The younger wizard hesitated, then took two more biscuits from the plate Harry proffered, nibbling on the one while holding the other loosely between the fingers of his other hand. Harry smiled as he watched him, then took Teddy's empty mug and the leftover biscuits back into the kitchen where he put them away in their container and rinsed the plate and empty mug before setting them beside the sink. He knew they'd be clean and put away when he next went into the kitchen, courtesy of the Hogwarts house elves.
Teddy was already standing by the door when he returned. "I'm sorry I was being such a brat," he said as soon as he saw Harry enter the room. "I'll get things sorted, though, don't worry."
Harry smiled and shook his head. "I'll always worry, Teddy. That's what godfathers do."
Teddy smiled back. "Seems to be what everyone does. Nanna says the same thing. That's what grandmothers do."
Chuckling, Harry patted his godson on the shoulder. "That's what anyone who cares about you will do. Worry is only natural when you care about someone else."
"Yeah," Teddy agreed, grabbing Harry's hand that was now resting on his shoulder and then hugging him with one arm. "Thanks for listening, Harry."
"Anytime, Moonlet." He squeezed him back then stepped away and opened the door. "Now off to dinner with you."
His godson grinned, his hair becoming a cheeky red grape color. "Have fun on your date with Professor Snape!" And, waving and laughing even as Harry spluttered that it wasn't a date, he ran off down the hall and disappeared around the corner.
"I am disappointed, Mr. Potter."
Harry jumped at the sound of that voice just to the right of his door and spun to meet his Master's dark eyes. He swallowed. "W-Why? I-I didn't think we were talking all that long. I would've sent an owl when we were done, like you said. And ... well, I haven't ordered dinner yet, but-"
Severus narrowed his eyes at the nervous way his sub was talking, his insides twisting uncomfortably at the almost pleading tone. The younger wizard really must not be settled after being triggered that afternoon. The aftercare and nap helped, but not as much as he'd hoped. "I am not disappointed that you didn't contact me, pet, since I decided to wait here," he explained carefully. "I thought your godson might talk more freely if he thought I wasn't lingering close by where I might overhear something. This isn't about dinner, either. I expect situations to arise in which you cannot obey right away. As long as it still gets done within a reasonable amount of time, or you otherwise contact me and explain what happened that you couldn't complete the order I gave, I will not hold it against you."
Blinking, Harry frowned, the oddly panicked clutching around his heart easing up. "Then ... why are you disappointed?"
The corner of Severus' lips curled upward the tiniest amount and his eyes sparkled as he responded mischievously, "I was disappointed because I had thought this would, perhaps, count as a date. We have only been on one, after all, but if you'd rather not ..."
"No!" Blushing at his loud outburst, Harry glanced up and down the hallway—which was empty since it was dinnertime, thank Merlin—and then lowered his voice. "No, I'd ... I'd like it to be a date." He flinched back without thinking when Severus raised a hand toward his face, but all that hand did—of course—was caress his cheek and then slide down to grip his chin.
The Potions master's eyes turned serious. "I'm sorry I was not more vigilant today, pet. You should never have been triggered like that."
Startled and uncomfortable with the reminder of what had happened and just how utterly helpless it had made him, Harry's eyes slid away. "It wasn't your fault, I—"
"No, Harry," the Dom interrupted emphatically. "We've discussed this before. You do not take blame for my actions, including mistakes. Ever. It is my job to protect you, physically as well as mentally and emotionally."
Quivering—he was usually the one who was supposed to do the protecting—Harry nodded awkwardly. Wasn't he just thinking he could entrust any part of his life to Severus and know it would be safe? He just needed to learn to let go.
Taking a deep breath, he let it out in a quiet sigh and admitted, "That's gonna take some getting used to."
"Yes," Severus agreed, pleased with the response Harry was giving. "It's going to take some work, but I promise you it will be worth it."
Harry gave him a tentative smile and a trusting little nod, then stepped away from him and went back into his sitting room. Severus followed and shut the door behind him. Breaking Harry of the habit he had of taking responsibility for actions that weren't his was going to be difficult, but he was more than sure the results would be worth it. Creating a definite line between what was Harry's responsibility and what responsibility belonged to others would help raise his confidence and self-worth immeasurably.
"Severus," Harry called, pulling the older man out of his thoughts, "do you still want the halibut and chips for dinner?"
"Yes, please. Don't forget the side of salad, though."
"Right," Harry agreed, turning back to the house elf he'd summoned. "Knibby, please go order the halibut and chips with a side of salad from the Dragon's Nest for Severus and the steak meal with the corn and fruit salad for me."
The house elf bowed low and replied enthusiastically, "Knibby will be being back with Masters' meals very soon, Professor Potter, sir!"
Harry shook his head when the house elf apparated out. "That's going to take some getting used to, too. Professor Potter ..." He shook his head again at the strangeness of hearing his name in conjunction with "Professor," and sighed.
"Is something wrong?" Severus asked, sitting down next to him.
"Not really. I'm just a bit worried about teaching." He looked up uncertainly. "What if I'm no good at it?"
Reaching over, Severus squeezed the younger man's shoulder. "You've forgotten, Harry, you've already proven that you're good at it."
"I have?"
"Does Dumbledore's Army ring a bell? Many of those students would not have survived the assault on the school nor the final battle if not for your teaching."
"Yeah, but that was different. I was teaching people my age ... or around my age. And it was Defense Against the Dark Arts. It wasn't flying. What if someone gets hurt? What if someone falls and I can't catch them in time? Oh Merlin, what if they pull a Neville?"
"Slow down, pet," Severus said, chuckling in spite of the seriousness of Harry's worry and the glare his sub shot him a moment later. "Flying is dangerous. For that matter, Defense Against the Dark Arts is dangerous. Accidents will happen. I'm sure you had accidents in the meetings with your peers." He waited for the affirmative nod before continuing. "You are a more than competent wizard in both flying and Defense Against the Dark Arts; you will do fine. And if something does happen, well, that's what the school nurse is for."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Still a bit skeptical, but reassured by the Potions master's unhesitating confidence in him, Harry murmured a quiet, "Okay."
"Good. Now, since it will be a little while before the house elf returns with our food, why don't we discuss what happened at the munch and how we can prevent such ... encounters in the future."
Harry gave him a strange look. "I thought we were done with that. I mean ... you did the whole aftercare thing, right?"
"Yes I did, but sometimes more is needed. I think you need to talk about it. I'd also like to put measures in place so you are not triggered like that again."
"What kind of measures?"
"A spell, with your permission, and perhaps another rule."
"What's the spell?"
Severus peered at his sub closely for a moment, trying to determine if he was stalling so he wouldn't have to talk about the encounter with the asshole Dom, but didn't see anything that made him think so. "It's rather more of a ritual, actually. It would essentially alert me to when you have been triggered. The ritual is used most often by mind healers when dealing with patients who have been through severe abuse, war, or any other highly traumatic event that may cause the patient to either hurt someone else or themselves in their triggered state. In the case of you and I, it would allow me to come to your side and ease you through the resulting effects of being triggered."
"Er ... can I think on that one?"
"Of course, pet. The ritual will only happen if I have your permission to perform it."
"All right ... then what's the new rule you wanted to make?"
"During munches or events, should we go to them, unless you or I know the person well, you will refrain from interacting with them should I not be present."
Immediate refusal twisted Harry's expression as he leaned reflexively away. "That sounds ... suffocating."
"It would prevent another incident like the one we had at the munch," Severus refuted calmly and with perfectly sound logic.
"Yeah," Harry muttered, rebellion flaring despite the logic, "and keep me on a leash."
The Dom's dark eyes flashed. "Perhaps a leash would do you good."
Harry flushed, heat curling in his stomach and dropping rapidly into his groin. A leash. Would the man really put him on a leash? What would he attach it to? He didn't have a collar ... yet. He had the choker, of course, but there wasn't really a good place to attach a leash to that. Unless ...
And this is not the time for that, Harry scolded himself, shaking his head and trying—and mostly failing—to ignore the arousal thrumming through his lower body. Biting his lip, he reached out and carefully stroked the back of Severus' tense hand, noting that it was curled into a fist. This was important to Severus. Keeping him safe was important to his Dom. Enough to propose something that would restrict and inconvenience them both.
"Master ..." he began, lowering his eyes, trying to tap into that submissive part of himself he knew Severus' dominant nature would—probably—listen to more readily. "I ... I like that you want to keep me safe and even, to a degree, that you want to keep me so close, but ..."
"But?" the older wizard prompted when he hesitated.
"I also like it—really, really like it—when you trust me."
Severus frowned. "This isn't about not trusting you, Harry—"
"I know it's not," Harry interrupted with a grimace, admitting to himself that that wasn't the best way to phrase what he was trying to say, "not for you. But it is for me. I don't think I can obey a rule like that ... one that will make me dependent on you to learn about the BDSM lifestyle and all its nuances and meet people who live it and enjoy it and might help me learn to accept it and enjoy it, too. I know in my head that you trust me, but this kind of rule will make me feel like you don't. Do ... Do you understand?"
Sighing, Severus sat back and folded his arms. "I can't say I understand exactly what you mean, but I do understand this is important to you. You need the kind of freedom that rule would restrict."
"Yeah, yeah I do," Harry agreed, beaming. He listened. He got it. Not exactly in the way Harry would have liked, but he'd understood enough. And this, he realized, was what the relationship was about. Communication. Compromise. Negotiation. Severus wasn't the only one with power, though he held the position of Dominant and could give orders and dole out punishment, no rules would be set unless Harry agreed to them. Yet, at the same time, once he agreed to obey a rule, he was bound to obey it or be punished. It was a balance he'd never known existed, one he felt comfortable walking in a way he hadn't felt comfortable in his relationship with Ginny where he never quite knew where he stood. With Severus he knew where he stood, and he always would. "What if the rule is that I don't interact with any Doms without you, er, present?"
Severus gave him a considering look, pleased to see his sub was beginning to learn how to negotiate rules, even if his dominant side would rather just set the first rule without compromising. It seemed a lot safer for the young man, anyway. But no, the very foundation of a D/s relationship like the one he was forming with Harry was communication. Harry might obey if he set the rule, but he would resent it. As much as he wanted Harry safe, he didn't want the other wizard to resent him more. "You don't interact with Doms, Dommes, Mistresses, Tops, or switches without me present."
Harry rolled his eyes a little at the addition of all the other terms for people who were usually dominant or could potentially be dominant. "I meant Doms as a blanket term for anyone in the dominant position, Severus."
"I like specifics."
Another eyeroll. "I noticed."
Raising an eyebrow, Severus reached over and tweaked his cheeky sub's ear, earning himself a small, but intense yelp. "Watch it, brat."
Harry stuck his tongue out, then ducked the hand that went for his ear a second time.
"Brat," the older wizard repeated, amused by Harry's antics.
"Masters," called a squeaky voice, making them both look up, "Knibby is sorry to be interrupting, but Knibby has returned with Masters' meals. Would Masters be liking to eat here or in the dining room?"
"The dining room will do," Severus replied, rising.
The house elf snapped his fingers with a bow and disappeared from the room.
"Come, pet," the Potions master beckoned, holding out a hand to help Harry up from the sofa. "Let's go eat. Then I want to discuss what happened at the munch some more."
Harry grimaced at that last part, but took Severus' hand anyway and let him pull him to his feet, and then followed him into the dining room where their food was waiting on covered platters. Severus sat down without letting go of Harry's hand and, with a simple tug, pulled him onto his lap. By now, Harry expected that, so he only settled into a more comfortable position and then waited to see if his Dom was going to feed him this time.
Severus did cut up his steak, which let off a mouth-watering smell that had Harry licking his lips to keep the saliva from dripping out, but then handed Harry the fork he'd been using and took the lid from his own meal. Shrugging, Harry went to work on the steak. It just smelled too good to not eat it first. The corn went next, then the second best part of the meal, the fruit salad mixed with some kind of gelatin. He looked over his shoulder in time to see that, even though he'd started eating first, Severus had already finished with his meal and was just sitting and peacefully watching him. He flushed at the tender emotion in the man's eyes he couldn't quite name, fiddled with his fork a bit, and then cleared his throat.
"Er ... since this is a date are we gonna ... you know, do something?"
Severus raised an eyebrow and repeated teasingly, "Do something?"
"Yeah ..." Harry responded with red cheeks, "do something."
"Such as?"
"Such as ... what we did that one night w-when you ... when you tied me up and—"
"Tortured your nipples?" Severus inquired with a wicked smirk at the blush that was quickly traveling over the back of his sub's neck and reddening the rims of his ears. Bending, he nipped at the very edge of the ear closest to his mouth, at the same time slipping one hand under the younger man's shirt to not-so-gently tweak his right nipple. Harry jumped, then shuddered and made a low noise in his throat that had Severus' cock hardening, rising just enough to fit in the perfect little cleft between his sub's ass cheeks. He moved his hips in a small, experimental thrust and had the pleasure of feeling Harry squirm on top of him, a startled squeak sending a thrill through his heated body. "You'd like to do a session tonight?" he inquired, letting his warm breath wash over Harry's equally warm ear and thrusting again.
"Y-Y-Yes ... yes, sir," Harry responded, his tongue feeling clumsy, his face and body on fire, every part of him shivering and shaking with brimming want. Swallowing and working saliva back into his dry mouth, he forced out a strained, "Please?"
"Riding crops and blindfolds, correct?"
Distracted by the very warm part of Severus' anatomy that was rubbing up and down his ass, pressing toward a place he'd never really explored even with his interest in his own sex, Harry was far too overwhelmed by the sensory input to even notice he'd been asked a question. He'd never felt anything quite like it; all he could do was lean back against his Dominant's shoulder, close his eyes, and bask in the new sensation of hips and groin moving behind him, into him.
Then suddenly, there were two large hands on his hips, strong fingers digging lightly into the indentations of his hipbones—which he realized a moment later were really sensitive—holding him maddeningly still while hot breath continued to pour over his ear and that hot something beneath him pulsed heat into what felt like his every nerve. "Fuck ..." he croaked, rolling his head to peer desperately into cruelly amused eyes.
"The session, pet," Severus all but purred. "You wanted to add riding crops and blindfolds, right?"
"R-Riding crops ... and blindfolds," Harry panted, squirming only to feel Severus' fingertips dig deeper, holding him more firmly in place. A moan worked its way out of his mouth. Damn it, he needed those fingers to dig deeper, hurt more ... that or just plain go away. He just couldn't think!
Noting the sweat beading on his submissive's forehead and the tormented expression on his face—caught between pleasure and something he couldn't rightly define because it was so complex—Severus closed his eyes and breathed deep. His sadistic part, the beast he kept leashed and contained until it was really time to play, fought to take control. It smelled prey and wanted to hunt. But it was in a way Severus knew could very easily, much too easily, damage the trust he was building between himself and Harry. He'd not expected such an intense reaction—pleased as he was to see it—and neither, he thought, had Harry.
Harry was overwhelmed, and that was dangerous. This needed to stop. Now.
So he removed his fingers from Harry's hips, which made the young man let out a vague whimpering sound, and then tucked one arm beneath his thighs, used the other on his shoulder to keep him steady, and lifted him from his lap to the chair beside him. For several seconds, Harry didn't seem to realize what had happened, and he squirmed around and made little confused whimpering noises that did nothing to help Severus' swollen erection—neither in the way of getting off nor in the way of calming down.
Then, apparently coming back to himself, those enchanting green eyes blinked open and looked over at him in confusion.
Severus answered the question he could see forming on the young man's lips. "You were becoming overwhelmed."
Frowning, Harry shook his head as if to further clear it, and muttered a little sullenly, "I was enjoying myself."
"Yes, I could see that, and feel it, quite clearly."
"Then why'd you stop?"
His own lips turned down, thrown off-balance by the demand, Severus responded slowly, "Because I am still unsure of your boundaries. I am also unsure how far I can push you before you become overwhelmed enough to forget your safe word or to be unable to vocalize it should you need it."
"That can happen?"
Affection bloomed despite himself at the adorable look his sub was giving him, confusion mixed with surprise with a puppy-like head tilt thrown in. "It can. Nor do I know enough about you yet to be able to determine your non-verbal cues as to when you've had enough or need a break. Until I can recognize those cues sufficiently, I need to know you're able to vocalize your safe word."
"I guess ... yeah, I guess that makes sense."
"I take it you were not as overwhelmed as I thought you were and you could have used your safe word if you needed it?" Severus ventured, peering intently at Harry's face and watching his expression closely, noting the lines of tension in his forehead and around his eyes and mouth as they gradually smoothed out. He'd been more upset that Severus had stopped than he'd let on.
"I'm not sure. There was just a lot of sensation at once; my head was getting a little fuzzy. I think, with a little more time to get used to it, I would have been able to use my safe word just fine. But I ..." he blushed hard and lowered his voice, as if by doing that admitting his thoughts would be less embarrassing, "... I liked what you were doing. It felt good."
"Did it?"
He bobbed his head, murmured, "Yeah," and then gasped as Severus's hand wrapped around his upper arm and pulled him off the chair into his chest. He gasped again, a mortifying little squeal of surprised arousal coming out with it, when the elder wizard reached down and wrapped one hand around his hip, then dug his thumb into the indent by his hipbone.
"I wonder ..." Severus murmured contemplatively, "are there any places on your body I could touch that you wouldn't like?"
Not yet lost in sensation, Harry's blush traveled from his cheeks to cover his ears, neck, and even lower where it disappeared beneath his shirt when he heard the half-teasing, half-serious inquiry. "I ... I-I ..." he stuttered, trying to form the appropriate words.
"Are there?" the Potions master pressed. "For example, if I touch here ..." He slowly and deliberately slid the hand curled around Harry's upper arm down to the adjacent hip and rubbed his thumb in a gentle circle over the indentation.
Harry's entire body curled toward him with an intense shudder, bringing their groins within inches of each other before he seemed to lose all strength and began to slide down Severus' body toward the floor. Chuckling, Severus slid the same hand from Harry's hip to his thigh where he gripped the underside and bodily lifted it over his lap and then tucked it more securely around his waist and the backside of the chair. He deftly directed the other leg to do the same and Harry's arms to curl and clasp around his neck before returning his own hands to their previous positions and digging in with both thumbs this time.
"Well?" he inquired with the patience of a stalking predator. "Are there?"
A muffled whine answered him along with frantic puffs of warm air against his throat.
Grinning darkly, the Dom softened the touch of his thumbs, rubbing them again in gentle circles while he turned his head to nibble at his submissive's ear lobe and threaten tenderly, "Answer, Harry, or I'll stop."
"Nn ..." Harry groaned, his mind slowly working through the words his Dom was saying. He knew the words. He knew he knew the words, but at the moment he was having difficulty recalling what they meant all strung together like that. Severus was asking him something. Something about places on his body? Touching them. Would he like it? That's what it was. He was asking if there were any places he wouldn't like being touched.
Suddenly, one thumb pulled completely away from him and then pressed down again, sending heat and electric-like tingles through every nerve. A sharp bite to the rim of his ear shattered what little control he had left and his back bowed as pre-cum spurted inside his pants, nearly enough to be an orgasm in itself save the fact that he was still fully hard and not at all sated.
"I ... I-I don't know!" he managed to get out, too far gone in sensation to feel embarrassed about the way his voice shot up an octave and then broke at the end.
Severus chuckled around the rim of Harry's ear he still held captive between his teeth, gnawing lightly, then let go and gave it a long swipe with his tongue that drew out such a moan from his submissive he was halfway to orgasm himself without even being touched. That was the effect Harry's extreme responsiveness had on him. The fact that he could bring out reactions that intense awoke such desire in him. How he yearned to share it with Lucius!
"Shall we find out?" he inquired, though he didn't expect to receive an answer.
He dug his thumbs into the indentations of his sub's hipbones once more, knowing it would bruise and loving the idea of leaving visible marks, then slid his hands toward the strong thighs gripping him on either side of his waist. His touch was firm as he stroked downward along the outsides, fingers crooked to add more pressure and just that little extra edge of pain Harry seemed to enjoy best.
Reaching further back, he explored the boney knees. Less sensitive there, he noted without surprise. A smirk twitched at the corners of his mouth as he felt Harry's panting breaths against his skin. Still responsive, even when the place wasn't particularly sensitive. Good to know.
He then slid his fingers to the back of the younger man's knees and gave the areas a couple experimental strokes. The hot air against his neck ceased for several seconds and then picked up again. Sensitive, though perhaps not as much as the indentations of his hipbones. Impulse took hold, and he gave a little pinch on his right side—Harry's left back-of-the-knee—only for Harry to give a startled yelp and clamp his legs tighter around Severus' waist.
"Hurts?" he asked.
"Nnn ..."
"Good or bad hurt?"
"B-Both ...?"
"You don't sound very sure about that. Should I pinch again?"
"No, another ... another time ... please. Want to ... keep going."
"As curious as I am, hm?" Severus chuckled when the ear beside him turned red. That was a yes more positive than any words could be.
He laid an appreciative kiss below that same ear, then hooked both hands under the young man's thighs and stood. The arms around his neck almost choked him in reaction to the abrupt upward motion, but he just calmly raised Harry up until he could set his bum on the edge of the table, then cradled his head and shoulders and coaxed him to lay back. The house elves had already cleared the table of their meal, so there was nothing to sweep out of the way as he gently peeled the young man away from him. Once Harry seemed to realize there was a solid surface below him, and possibly that it was the dining room table he was laid out on, he flushed a bright red and threw a hand over his face while his chest heaved rapidly up and down and his his limbs quivered.
"Shhh," Severus murmured soothingly, reaching out to grasp that concealing hand and pull it away with a kiss to the knuckles. "It's okay to be embarrassed, pet. You don't need to be just for being curious, but it's okay to be. What's not okay is hiding yourself from me." He lowered his voice and brushed his unoccupied hand across his submissive's beautifully flushed cheek, cupping it tenderly. "Don't hide from me."
Taking in a deep, shuddering breath, Harry nodded and let his hands fall limp in compliance. No hiding. Merlin, no hiding! It didn't sound hard, but fuck, it was really damn hard to keep his hands from rising toward his burning face, to block that intense, focused, hungry gaze as it swept up and down his body. He swallowed, and then swallowed again when Severus' eyes tracked the movement and then lingered on his neck where the phoenix choker rested.
"What?" Harry blurted, reflexively looking down to try to see if something was wrong with his necklace.
Severus' eyes crinkled as he reached up and caressed down the side of Harry's neck with his thumb, eliciting a brief shiver. "Hush, pet. No more talking. I don't have long before I need to oversee detention."
"You're leaving?"
Right eyebrow going up, Severus pulled one of Harry's legs up and delivered a warning slap to the exposed butt cheek. Harry jumped at the sudden assault, then bit his lip, looking contrite. Seeing Severus' frown, though, he released his lip from between his teeth and took a shuddering breath.
Severus bent and pressed a chaste kiss to Harry's lips for the show of obedience, murmuring a proud, "Good boy," when he straightened up again. "I do have to leave soon to oversee the detentions of the Slytherins who were messing about earlier, but it will only last an hour and I will return shortly after. All right?"
Lips pressed together and cheeks a little red from the kiss as much as the praise, Harry nodded.
"Until then ... what do you say we explore this body of yours and see just how sensitive you are, hmm? We can do the session after I return."
Another nod answered him. Scanning the body laid out before him, mostly covered as it was by clothes, Severus flicked his tongue across his lips. This was a part of the process he liked, searching out sensitive places. Although with Harry it seemed it would be rather the opposite. Not all of the sensitivity would cause sexual arousal like the indentations near his hip bones, however, and he was looking forward to finding out which places did cause that.
Well, then, he should get started. But which to start from, the top or the bottom? He smirked when he saw the way his sub was blushing, and it was only growing darker as Severus stood there without doing anything. One of these days he might have to try getting the young man to cum from visual and aural stimulation alone. Everything he'd seen pointed to Harry being capable of that. Even now, with his just standing there and doing nothing else, not even talking, Harry had a hard-on growing to tent his trousers. It was rather satisfying to know that his mere presence could cause such a reaction.
Top it is, the Dom decided. It'd be a pity to waste the opportunity to touch that burning red skin and feel it burn even hotter. Nevertheless, he made sure to brush the back of his knuckles against Harry's arousal, which made Harry gasp and squirm as he bent over the younger wizard and trailed his hand up to comb through that dark mass of messy hair. He grasped some of the strands in his hand and tugged lightly, already having a good idea of how sensitive the other man's scalp was from previous encounters. Nevertheless, it still made him give a smug smile when a somewhat stifled groan floated up from below him, which only made him tug again.
Ears were next. There was definite sexual sensitivity there, as he'd both bitten and licked there before, so he simply stroked lightly and watched with satisfaction the shiver that traveled through Harry's body and the goose pimples that rose on his arms. As he retracted his hands, he stole the glasses that would soon be in the way and deftly stowed them away inside his robes for safekeeping.
From the ears, he moved to one of the places he most loved, his submissive's oh-so-expressive face. The skin was red enough he was sure it would rival any ripe tomato for color. Those green eyes were wide open and watching him, though fluttering as if he'd rather look away but couldn't bring himself to. Severus quite liked that. He kissed each eyelid and then captured Harry's lips with his own. Hot breath met his tongue as he thrust it inside the other man's mouth, but he didn't linger long despite the delicious sounds he swallowed. He had limited time for this, after all, and he wanted to be able to explore most of Harry's body before he had to oversee detention so they could focus on the session afterward.
He used one finger to trace Harry's nose, noting the slight shiver he gave when he moved it along the bone from between Harry's eyebrows to the tip. A chuckle slipped out. Even his nose was sensitive, though it didn't seem to be a sexual sensitivity.
Cheeks, a bit of pupil expansion, meaning some arousal.
Jaw, definite sexual sensitivity there, especially when he used his teeth to nip and nibble. That made Harry's rising cock twitch in his trousers.
Neck, not as sensitive to light touches as he would've expected, but definitely sensitive to scrapes of his nails and teeth as well as all-out biting. In fact, by the time he was done memorizing the area with hands and mouth, Harry's chest was heaving rapidly up and down, little whimpering noises making it out between his lips.
Smirk in place, Severus descended further, moving the younger man's shirt to touch, nibble, and lick first one shoulder, then the other. Both slightly more sensitive than he expected. The front and back were sexually sensitive, causing Harry to arch a bit when he focused his attentions on them, while the tops and sides were only sensitive in a way that made him shiver without causing any more of an aroused reaction.
Arms, not as sensitive on the tops, but more sensitive on the bottom. Nothing sexually arousing, though. That is, until he got to the inner elbow, the underside of his forearms, inner wrists, palms, and the pads of his fingers. All of those were sexually sensitive places that made Harry writhe in place when he started on them. And when he scraped the tops of Harry's forearms with his nails, he cried out, if only briefly.
Mine, Severus couldn't help but think as he slid his hands under his submissive's shirt and tucked it up under the younger man's chin. All of this sensitivity, this body, Harry, is mine.
First, he simply traced the varying muscle lines, appreciating the way Harry's body was beginning to fill back out. Then he put his mouth to the other wizard's collarbone and nipped lightly up and down the ridge. Not too sensitive, but that was all right. He'd only just started, after all. He licked right below the ridge of bone next and hummed in appreciation when Harry's nipples grew hard. For the most part, he already knew how sensitive Harry's chest was, but he decided to go over it, anyway. There was no such thing as learning too much, especially when it came to his sub's pleasure spots.
"Hnnn," Harry whined breathily, squirming when Severus put his mouth over his right nipple without touching the nipple itself and left bruising teeth marks in the skin around the areola. "T-Tease ..."
"You're talking again."
The younger man clamped his trembling lips shut.
"You don't do very well with quiet, hm? Speech restriction doesn't do anything for you except make you restless. It doesn't seem to distress you, but ... would it be better for you if I allowed you to talk?"
"I'm okay," Harry huffed. "I'm okay with it. If you want me to be quiet, I can do it."
Severus peered at his sub closely for several moments before inclining his head. "All right, if you're sure."
"I am."
Resuming where he'd left off, Severus alternated light nips and bites around Harry's nipple without ever actually touching the hard little nub. When he was satisfied with that side, he switched to the other, noting the way the nipple was still raised up at attention. He leered and, this time, went directly for it, biting down on it hard enough to make Harry curse and try to squirm away. That only made him bite down harder and, eventually, his sub realized that and went still, hands clenched into fists at his sides and spine rigid.
Severus loosened his hold in appreciation, then swirled his tongue around the top and let out a short little hum. The vibration from the sound, enhanced by the wetness, made Harry jump and suck in a sharp breath. His balled-up hands opened and then closed, then opened again, trembling.
The nipple was red and slightly swollen when Severus finally let go. Even then, he couldn't resist giving it another little nip. The squeak of surprised pain Harry gave made his full cock jump and twitch in his trousers, eager to be put to use.
Mine, Severus thought again, viciously scraping his nails down Harry's chest—just barely missing his tormented nipples—and onto his stomach where he bent to swipe his tongue over the reddening marks. Harry's spine bowed, his body arching up to meet Severus' nails and tongue, his lips pressed so tightly together the pink skin was starting to turn white in his effort to remain quiet. Small whimpers were still escaping, sounds Severus was sure the younger man couldn't help making given all the sensations his body was experiencing. That was all right. Harry was trying, and that was all he could ask for.
Severus laid gentle kisses across his sub's abdomen, giving him a break and admiring the muscles that jumped with every touch, adoring the little traces of fat beginning to show around Harry's waistline and belly button—proof that he was eating and doing his best to take care of himself. He scratched down Harry's sides, enjoying the way it made the other man squirm, nipped around his belly button, and then dipped his tongue in briefly. The taste wasn't altogether pleasant, but it was entirely worth it to see Harry's eyes close and his cheeks redden and his stomach quiver.
Then he was at the waistband of Harry's trousers where he paused and waited until the younger wizard opened his eyes and looked at him before dipping his head down to tug at the button with his teeth. Harry's breath hitched. "Do I have your permission?" Severus inquired, tracing the outside of the button with the tip of his tongue—mimicking another, more sexual act that couldn't be mistaken even if his partner was rather inexperienced.
Breathing shallowly, Harry nodded once and tilted his head back to breathe more deeply. However, the tug on the front of his trousers inevitably pulled his gaze back down where he met intense dark eyes filled with a demand and hunger he couldn't do anything with but answer. He lifted his hips, trying to convey his agreement—his avid agreement—without words.
Severus stroked gently along Harry's waist with his fingertips while demonstrating the dexterous tongue work Lucius envied and loved all at once. Lucius could get the zipper undone with his teeth, but could never quite get the button out of the loop. He did, however, have other talents.
The button undone, Severus pulled the trousers from Harry's legs and draped them over a nearby chair. He left Harry's boxer briefs on, though, taking pleasure in the way his sub's erection stretched the fabric in a most obscene and delicious manner.
He caught the younger man's wide, lust-filled green eyes and then just barely brushed his fingertips over the throbbing organ. It jumped under his touch and seemed to press up against the fabric even harder, as if straining to more fully push into his hand. Harry's pupils expanded at the same time, leaving only a small ring of the green iris around the outside edge.
But Severus had no intention of doing anything further there. He wanted to know the rest of Harry's body, the rest of his pleasure spots, before he really explored one of the most sexually sensitive parts of almost every man's body.
So he moved further down. He roughly stroked the younger wizard's thighs, lightly touched his knees, then made his way down his shins. He bit along the prominent bone, which garnered little reaction beyond a few small jerks that weren't from sexual sensitivity but from the small shocks of pain. Nonetheless, if that added to Harry's arousal in any way, Severus had no objections.
The tops of his feet were sexually sensitive, so he spent several moments licking, nipping, scraping, and scratching over the skin there before moving on to his toes. Touching there made Harry jerk his foot completely out of Severus' grasp.
He raised an eyebrow at his sub and waited until the foot was put back in his palm by Harry's own will before speaking. "Are you ticklish there?" A nod. "You may speak, pet. I'd prefer a verbal answer."
Harry complied. "Yes, sir, I am."
"If I remember correctly, tickling is one of your hard limits. Is that correct?"
Licking his lips a little nervously, still unused to even having "hard limits," Harry nodded again. "Yes, sir. Little ... er, accidental touches that tickle are fine, I just don't like intentionally being tickled. My cousin used to do it until ... u-until I ..." He trailed off, cheeks blazing with embarrassment when his mind caught up to what he was about to tell the other man.
"Understood," Severus murmured simply, catching Harry's startled eyes with his own sympathetic ones. "Then you must use your safe word if my touches become too ticklish."
Harry gave another nod, his stomach muscles loosening up to let him breathe more easily. "Yes, sir," he sighed out, so incredibly grateful the Dom hadn't lingered over his reason for having that particular hard limit. Just recalling what his cousin used to do and the humiliation that swept through him every single time that warm, wet liquid soaked through his trousers and spilled down his legs to pool in his shoes or around his feet left him feeling shaky, weak, and slightly nauseated. Having someone even come close to the tickle torture his cousin used to put him through, like Ron had before he'd learned better, made him immediately go pale and temporarily lose control of his bladder. It was, so he'd been told by Hermione, an ingrained psychological response to the sensation and emotions he remembered so vividly.
"Harry."
He blinked and started a bit at the face looming so closely above him. "Sir?"
"You were spacing out. Are you all right? Do we need to stop?"
He shook his head. "No, sir, it was just a little bit of a flashback. Sorry."
Severus frowned. "That is not something you should be apologizing for. Not to anyone, and especially not to me. I am your Dominant. I want to know, need to know when you're having a flashback and why so I can avoid those things that cause them as much as possible. But you should never need to apologize for having one. It's not something you can control and it is certainly not your fault that you have them. Is that understood?"
"Y-Yes, understood, sir," Harry replied, swallowing his protest that it was just a reflexive apology. He doubted his Master would care at the moment whether it was reflexive or not. Or perhaps his vehemence about the matter was because the apology was reflexive. It was hard to tell. But that brought up another concern. "Master?"
"Yes?"
"Er ... isn't it kind of stu—" He quickly bit down on the word he was about to blurt out at the dark look Severus directed at him and tried for something else. "... trying to have to stop and deal with all of these litt—" Again he stopped and amended what he'd been about to say when the other man's eyes narrowed. "... these numerous issues I have?"
"Those words had better not have been stupid and little you were about to use to describe the issues leftover from significant traumatic experiences."
"Erm ..." Harry hedged, eyes shifting away.
Sighing, Severus rubbed his thumbs in firm circles into the junctures between Harry's neck and shoulders where the muscles were almost knotted up they were so tense. "We're going to need to work on that. You have a habit of minimizing what happened to you by trying to make it seem less significant than it was, and that does not just apply to the bad incidences. However, that will take time. For now, let me address your question. While it might be trying at times, say if I was deep in Domspace—a phenomena similar to subspace—or on the brink of orgasm, it is not something that would ever stop me from engaging with my partner. In this case, you."
"Not even if it happens every single session?"
Shaking his head a little at his sub's insecurity, though the headshake was fond rather than exasperated, Severus replied firmly, "Not even if it happens ten times every session. Now, I have a guess, but I'd like to know for certain, what was that flashback about?"
Not looking at his Dom simply for the twisting in his belly at having to divulge what he'd just remembered, the young wizard answered softly, "My cousin used to tickle me until ... until I wet myself."
"Tickle torture," Severus acknowledged, nodding at the confirmation of what he'd already suspected. "I assume your aunt and uncle did nothing to curb your cousin's ... behavior."
It wasn't really a question, but Harry shook his head anyway. "He did it in front of them sometimes, or in front of his friends. They'd ..."
"They'd what, pet?" Severus prompted when he saw his sub's lips move but no sound come out.
"My aunt and uncle would make me clean it up and then tell me to go to my cupboard if I was going to ..." He flinched, took a deep breath, then finished with lowered eyes, "... piss on the floor like an animal."
Severus closed his eyes to reign in the anger he felt, but opened them again when he felt his submissive's vulnerable gaze on his face. He didn't want the younger man to get the wrong idea—that he was disgusted by what had happened or by Harry himself. Instead, he hoped Harry could see how furious that kind of treatment of an innocent, defenseless child made him. That that child had been Harry just made it all the worse. It was really too bad the muggles had been so thoroughly hidden by the Order of the Phoenix, otherwise he might be tempted to drop in and pay them a belated visit. He could probably find out where they lived if he did enough digging, but he didn't feel they were worth even that much of his time. His time was much better spent helping Harry come to terms with what had happened to him and helping him accept who he was now, scars—physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual—included. Perhaps, when Harry was better healed and better adjusted, he would return to the idea of paying them a visit. Better yet, he would bring the idea to Lucius.
"When did this start?" he had to ask. He had to have some idea of what recompense would be needed for those heinous muggles' crimes.
"I think ... when I was four?"
"And how often did it happen?"
"For the first while ... I guess once or twice a day? Aunt Petunia made him stop doing it more than once in a day and not on Sunday since she hated the smell of it in the carpet. Then she told him not to do it where ... where I'd pee on the carpet, so he'd drag me to the laundry area, instead, where the floor was tile." He fidgeted on the table, continuously rubbing his thumbs hard across his knuckles. "It was easier to clean up in there. I learned not to drink very much at one time and to stay as far away from that room as I could. He was still ... s-still stronger than me, though ... a-and big-bigger, so it ..."
"It still happened even after you did everything you could to make it stop."
Swallowing hard, Harry gave a jerky nod.
"How long did this go on?"
Harry turned his head away, not wanting to answer.
"Harry."
He flinched.
Severus softened his tone. "Harry, please answer me."
Slowly—very slowly—the young man turned his head back and cracked his eyes open, unable to see for his lack of glasses as well as the moisture welling up in them. "Six years," he whispered. "Uncle Vernon made him stop then because he was afraid Dudley was turning strange."
"Strange?" Severus inquired, voice strained.
Six years. Six years Harry had been tortured by his cousin with the complete knowledge and even consent of his aunt and uncle. He'd seen small signs of neglect when Harry first came to Hogwarts at eleven, but he'd not let himself look further. He'd not let himself even contemplate abuse. And what was it to him if the boy didn't have a very good home life? Severus' home life had been far from perfect. The abuse he'd suffered was so horrible surely there wasn't another who went through anything even remotely as bad. So he'd turned a blind eye, refused to see what was staring him in the face. He who could spot an abused student amongst his Slytherins within minutes of observing them entering the Great Hall for the first time.
Of course he'd had a job to do, a mask to wear, even then. Now, though, he couldn't help wishing he'd looked further and regretted that he'd never taken the chance even when presented to him, such as during their "Occlumency lessons."
"He was afraid Dudley was turning into a poof," Harry clarified without looking at him.
Severus internally rolled his eyes. Of course that muggle oaf and his wife, the perfectly normal couple, wouldn't want their perfectly normal son to do something as "strange" as start to prefer his own gender. Of course not.
Slytherin's forked tongue, what other kinds of twisted ideas had those people put into his submissive's head? The possibilities were, quite literally, endless. After all, Harry had been trained from a young age to think himself inferior, unworthy, lowly, even filthy. A freak, he'd called himself. There was a lot of damage inside that young man to heal. And even with healing, there would always be scars. But Severus would heal those wounds. Even as they split open again and again, he would continue to heal them. Then, once they were all as healed as he could possibly get them, he would make sure Harry had better things to do and think about than what was done to him in the past.
Reaching up, and once more ignoring the minute flinch his sub gave, he gently gripped Harry's chin and turned his face to meet him. "None of that was your fault. You didn't deserve it. You did all that you could to stop it. You were brave and strong. You still are. There was nothing else you could have done to stop what was happening to you. Nothing at all. Do you understand me?"
"I ... understand, Master," Harry responded haltingly, so quietly he had to reassure the other man when the grip on his chin tightened, "I do. I know in my head that I did everything I could for the age I was and the fact that I didn't even know I had magic back then to stop what Dudley was doing, but it still ... it doesn't ... it—"
"It doesn't feel like it was enough," Severus finished for him knowingly. "It feels like there was more you could have, should have done."
Miserable, Harry closed his eyes and nodded.
"There wasn't."
"Hn?"
"There wasn't anything more or different you could have or should have done. Believe me. The abuse I suffered was different from yours in many ways, but I've been where you are. Wondering what I could have or should have done differently. If I was more compliant, would that have made him stop hitting me? If I antagonized him less, would he never have started in the first place? If I could only do something right, would that have made him proud instead of angry? The answer to all those questions, Harry, is no. Nothing would have changed it. It took me a long time to understand and accept that. My father was a broken man. His head wasn't right, and that damage came out in the form of violence against my mother and I. There was nothing we could have done short of getting as far away from him as we possibly could or full-out killing him to make him stop."
"They ... were the ones who were broken?"
Severus' heart broke just a little at the confused but hopeful little whisper of a question. Chest aching, he pulled the younger man into a tight hug, putting all the emotions he was feeling at that moment into the gesture. "Yes, they were—are—the broken ones. There's nothing wrong with you, Harry. There never was."
Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry's lips stretched into a wide smile. "It wasn't me," he stated, tone bright with revelation. "It wasn't me."
Chest swelling with pride as well as a myriad of other emotions, all of them bright and positive and directed entirely toward the beautiful, wonderful young man in his arms, Severus squeezed even tighter and pressed a gentle kiss to the indent beneath Harry's ear. Harry had just taken the first, and largest, step toward accepting what had happened to him and the fact that none of it was because of him. He couldn't even express the joy exploding like fireworks inside him. He'd not expected to get to this point so early on.
"Severus," his sub called to him in a quiet voice.
Reluctantly, Severus allowed Harry to push himself away so he could meet those striking green eyes. "What is it, pet?"
His cheeks grew a little hotter at the pet name, as usual, but he didn't let that distract him and murmured, "Thank you."
Smiling, Severus brushed the backs of his fingers tenderly along the other man's cheek. "You're welcome, though, truly, I did very little."
Mirroring his Master's smile, Harry shook his head. "No, it was more than a little."
Knowing to Harry it very well could be something big, Severus didn't try to refute the assertion and, instead, simply inclined his head in acceptance of his sub's proffered gratitude.
"Master," Harry ventured hesitantly, "can we ... can we continue?"
Noticing for the first time that the younger wizard's face wasn't flushed simply from embarrassment, Severus smirked and pressed his hips forward, purposefully rubbing against the bulge still restricted in Harry's boxer briefs. Harry moaned and threw his head back so suddenly and with such abandon Severus had to quickly encircle him about with his arms so he didn't fall back and hit his head on the tabletop. He chuckled as he did so, though, for it was such a heady feeling, being able to provoke such unreserved behavior from his submissive—a submissive he'd been the Master of for less than a month's time. Truly Harry was one of a kind.
Then, suddenly and frustratingly, the alarm spell he'd set to tell him when he needed to leave to oversee detention started blaring in his head, and he winced. "Unfortunately, it's time for me to leave."
Harry groaned and raised one arm to cover his eyes as his hips flexed involuntarily, eliciting a similar movement from his Master. Merlin, why did those Slytherins have to misbehave this night? Severus was too serious a professor to feign illness so another professor would take over his detentions. Even if he disliked "whiny brats," he enjoyed teaching and took his position in the school very seriously—far more seriously than Harry would've ever thought when he was in school.
"An hour, pet," Severus reminded the younger man fondly. "It's only an hour, then I'll be back and we can resume. Since we've not explored into orgasm control or denial yet, however, and they are a couple of your soft limits, you're well within your rights to orgasm should you feel you can't wait." Seeing the way Harry was about to open his mouth and the insecurity in his eyes, he gently added, "And I will not be upset if you choose to do so."
Giving a bit of a sheepish smile, Harry pressed his lips together again and nodded. The corners of Severus' lips quirked up into something that was somehow softer than a smile that made Harry bashfully turn his head away. That thing he couldn't define was there in Severus' eyes again. It felt warm, but somehow intense and scary at the same time. He couldn't face it. At least, not yet.
Severus stroked his sub's cheek softly to bring those uncertain green eyes back to him, retrieving the glasses he'd stolen with the other and easily slipping them back into place over his sub's ears. "You decide what you're going to do; I'll be back in one hour. Understood?"
"Yes, Master," Harry murmured, already mourning the loss of the older wizard even though he wasn't yet gone. He jumped a little when strong arms went around him and pulled him bodily up into that same wizard's chest. Heart beating fast, he threw his arms around Severus in return and squeezed hard.
"I'll see you when I'm done, Harry," Severus stated as he drew back, “and don't think I've forgotten that we still need to discuss what happened at the restaurant.” This time the reminder didn't make Harry flinch or grimace, only nod and murmur his agreement, which only attested to how much their discussion about things not being his fault and other people being broken helped. More proud and relieved than he could possibly express, Severus ducked in again to give him a chaste kiss. "Be good for me."
Grinning, Harry responded cheekily, "I'm always good," and returned the chaste kiss with one of his own. "I'll be waiting."
"Good boy," his Dom praised with an affectionate tweak to his ear.
Making sure Harry was securely sitting on the tabletop, he removed himself from the younger man's embrace, tipped his head to him, and strode out the door.
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A/N: And that is the end of that chapter, my lovelies! I hope you all enjoyed it and please leave a review if you have the inclination/time to do so!!
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