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UnBroken	By : OddDoll Category: Harry Potter AU/AR > Het - Male/Female Views: 6172 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Unbroken
By Odd Doll
Chapter 21
Severus stood and went to the door of their temporary mountain home in Tahoe. The top half held a window covered by a thin, cotton curtain. Lifting this aside with the back of a hand, he stared out at the gravel drive, and the house across the way. A stream ran behind their house, only a few feet from the back wall. It rushed by with a muted roar, but his ears already were numb to it.
I could walk outside. I could just walk away.
If he had any place to go, or galleons, or Muggle money to pay his way, he could just walk out the door. Severus wondered if his vault at Gringott's still held the nest egg he kept there. Talinnin took the key from him when they stripped him of his belongings. Entering Gringott's would be risky. Going through the steps to get his gold without his key would be deadly. Forms and papers, identity charms. Someone would notice his presence.
And there would be no Phoebe.
Why was he letting this woman ruin her life for him? It could possibly be the most selfish thing he had ever done in a life full of selfish acts. That realization, however, was not nearly enough to discourage him from taking advantage of it, because he was not driven by material needs but by a desperate need for human contact. He would cling to her as long as she let him.
Severus turned away from the window to see her watching him.
"How do you feel?" she asked.
"A bit tired."
She frowned a little. "I didn't mean physically."
He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how he felt.
"Which bedroom will be mine? I'd like a nap."
Her face fell a tiny bit. "The first on the left."
He nodded and went to his bed.
In his former life, Severus would never have even considered lying in bed during the middle of the day. But if he were honest with himself, he wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the softness of the pillows and the protected feeling that came from wearing his own clothes. His stomach was full. And there was a beautiful woman in the next room whom he could talk with any time he felt the need for company. Severus laid his head back, marveling at the change in his fortunes. It still did not seem real, he still felt shocked and numb, but at the core of his heart there was a bit of peace.
When he awoke the house smelled of cooking. A colorful quilt covered him and the light was off. The room was dim; the small window admitted little light.
"Thank you," he said when he went to the door. "Is this another one of your quilts from home?"
Phoebe stood at the stove and peered into a large pot. "Yes, I brought several from home. Extra pillows, too. So if you're cold or uncomfortable, just ask for them."
When he folded the quilt, his arms felt heavy and awkward. It made a sloppy bundle that he laid at the foot of the bed. The colors of the intricate pattern of linked circles brightened the dim little room. He admired them for a moment.
"Dinner will be in about an hour," she said when he returned. "I decided that, since I have extra time on my hands, I should cook everything from scratch."
Phoebe sat down across from him before a pile of yellow lined tablets, taking up a pair of gold-rimmed reading glasses. When she put them on he could only stare. A gorgeous woman in glasses. Sexy. He had not thought of Phoebe in that way, as attractive as she was, nor had he thought about any woman that way for a long time.
"What?" she asked.
"Nothing."
Phoebe worked quietly for a considerable time, rising now and then to tend the stove. He watched her stir and taste and season whatever was in the large pot on the stove. When she spoke again, it was to say, "Dinner is almost ready. Would you help me by clearing the table?"
Dinner was a thin soup, with vegetables and noodles that were overcooked enough to be soft, and warm rolls. It was very good, but he looked forward to food he could sink his teeth into.
"I can eat again on Friday."
"I know. I'll try to make something special."
"I don't know why they want me to wait so long. I feel fine."
"No pain?"
"I'm sore just about everywhere, but I wouldn't call it pain."
After a moment she said, "I don’t want to, but I have to go to Steve and Michael's place. I'm bringing them my Gringott's key, so I can clean out my vault if we have to run for it."
"They can get into your vault? Why don’t you want to?"
"Steve works for Gringott's." She chewed on a bit of roll. He noticed she didn’t answer his second question, but ignored it for now. "I've been thinking, and I've decided to tell them what's going on, and give them a photo of Malfoy."
He scowled into his soup bowl for a moment, but slowly his features softened. "That might be a good idea. If they're forewarned, they might be able to evade her. If not, there are things to check for, charms that will reveal if a person has been put under an Oblivate. That might at least tell us she's been there."
"Right, and then we'll have that much more information about her movements and know a bit more about what she's learned."
"I should have thought of that." There were so many things he should have thought of. "I wonder if I lost a few brain cells over the last year. I used to be able to think three steps ahead of everybody."
"You are out of practice. You're still very sick. And you're under a great deal of stress. What else...?"
"How can I possibly protect you?" The question humiliated him.
"We'll take care of each other, Severus. I'm sure that, together, we can do anything that needs doing."
"I suppose," he said and let it drop.
*****
After dinner they walked and settled on a rock at creekside. Phoebe left him there, asking him to wait while she returned to the house. She made her way to his room, peeking out the window to assure herself that he was still seated. Then, quietly, as if he were in the house with her, she slid open the top drawer of his dresser and extracted the long slim box that held his new wand. She carried it under her arm out to the creek.
Phoebe settled down beside him before she pulled out the box, balanced it across his knees, and left it there. Severus stared at it, his face frozen.
"You can hardly claim to be able to help me if you are unwilling to touch your own wand."
His hands flexed, but he didn't touch the box. "This can't be my wand. It's a mistake. You wasted your money paying for it."
"Pick it up. It's yours. Whatever that says about you, it's just another thing you'll have to deal with."
"I can't have changed that much," he said in a low voice.
"Was the man you were before so special that you can't accept change?"
He looked up toward the opposite bank of the creek, his expression thoughtful. Severus gave away so little that it was impossible for her to read what the issue really was. He must have been a great spy.
"Do you think it means that you are not as powerful as you once were? You heard what that old woman said. Ironwood channels more power, but Holly is truer. It will serve you better." He wouldn't speak, and her frustration with him bled into her voice. "Or is it that you still want to practice the Dark Arts, and you think this wand won't let you?"
She grabbed his arm and stood, tugging at him until he rose. "Come on."
Back in the house, Phoebe crossed her arms and stood over him as he sat at the table with the box in front of him. She flipped it open. "Take it. It's your wand. It chose you. You need to embrace it and get on with your life."
At last he took up the wand, holding it in front of him.
"Now do something. Anything."
"Lumos." The wand glowed with a brilliant light. Phoebe squinted and reflexively put a hand up to shield her eyes.
"Sheesh. Well, if you were worried about power, I think you can put that one to rest."
Severus smiled just a little. "I suppose I'm stuck with it. I'll have to practice with it until it works smoothly."
She grinned at him. "Would you like me to draw up a lesson plan?"
He gave her either a smile or a grimace. She couldn't be sure. "That won't be necessary."
*****
They passed the next two days quietly, Severus sleeping much of the time. When she wasn't caring for Severus, Phoebe spent hours on the phone, advising her employees or simply chatting with friends. Her manner was subtly anxious, almost as if inside she was frantic to keep her grip on her old life by acting as if nothing had changed. But the specter of Narcissa hung over everything they did, adding realism and urgency to Phoebe's work.
By early afternoon on each day and sometimes in the morning, he needed a nap, his low reserves sapped by the rigors of simply living and working with his new wand. Toward that end, he had spent every spare moment transfiguring everything and anything, and casting charms, hexes, and curses at one of Phoebe's best pillows until he was exhausted.
"I must be able to use this wand without hesitation," he said once when she chastised him for taxing himself to the point of needing to sit down. Guiltily, she went to the bedroom and returned with a quilt that she draped over his shoulders.
"Narcissa Malfoy will give us no warnings," Severus said. A sudden flash of empathetic insight left Phoebe speechless. She wondered if he had always been this way. She wondered if he liked his life.
"This is what your life is like."
He narrowed his brows, clearly not expecting her response. "This is what your life is like now, Phoebe."
She would contemplate that one at a later time. "How long have you lived like this?"
Severus hunched up the quilt to cover his ears and neck. His sour expression told her he did not wish to answer but, for once, he did. "All of my adult life and at times during my childhood."
"Your childhood?"
The moment of openness ended. "I would like to go back to sleep, if you don't mind."
That was his way. If he did not like a question, he simply ignored it.
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