Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Changes	By : SickPuppy Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 27108 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe belongs to JK Rowling. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
- 20
- 21
- 22
CH21 AN: Reviewers, you rock! I wasn't sure what I'd get seeing as chapter 20 kinda goes off piste a bit (well, not off piste, but definitely off the path everyone wants me to be on!) but it does set up some post Changes things (as Thunderbird commented on). And now, to the reviews:
MomoTheMoogle – thank you for saying you like my stories, that's very sweet. And yes, I do understand that “SWEET FRIGGIN HELL this waiting is TORTURE” and, after your vote of confidence (“I know the wait will be worth it, it always is with you SP!”) I hope I don't let you down. I think the smut is pretty damned good, but hey, I wrote it!
Whilst you waited, did you check out any of Queens Of Angst's stuff? Something to write about is great fun, as is The Unbearable … series (and the last mentioned are all one shot smut pieces). I know they'd want me to promote their work, so go read! Their stories live on my page (don't ask why, it's complicated).
Thunderbird – seeing as you like anticipation, I could always add in a few extra chapters where they don't screw?! And yes, after Dumbledore dies everything will change. But then the entire story has been about change. It's the most on the nose I've ever been with a title/theme! And I can't even tell you why; it was called Changes from the very first. It's not unheard of for my titles to change as I write. And I am driving myself mad because rather than write the damned sequel, like I should be doing, my mind is writing a whole new story called 'Want'. Part of the issue is I'm trying a slightly different way of writing, and I think I'm enjoying the challenge!
Phoenix-rob – yes returning to Privet Drive causes some problems. That chapter is already written. Hope you're still doing your happy dance at the end of this chapter!
Dedicated_Reader – I understand your point now, you meant how would I get this into the PROPER plot of HBP. And yes, I am trying to get it to gel. HBP is much easier than trying to gel with DH. That is bloody killing me!
Say hello to your room mate, especially if she recommended AoE and TNIB. I'm currently editing them both to sort out some layout issues. And yes, go for fluff before tackling TNIB, it's a bit angsty!
Chapter 21 – Dealing with these changes
Thursday morning dawned and Harry lay for a moment in his bed, contemplating life. One more wake up and then I sleep with Severus! It both excited, humbled and scared him all at once. It was something he wanted, something Severus wanted, and yet it was still terrifying. He remembered, all too clearly, the burning agony as Snape had tried to enter him. It made his ass clench with recalled pain. But he still desired the other man. And since Tuesday, Severus had refused to allow them to even touch. Harry understood, mainly because Snape had told him, that the teacher just didn't trust himself not to fuck Harry before their agreed day if they engaged in any of their previous activities. Harry was frustrated and aching. He didn't care if they had sex before Friday. In fact he'd welcome it. But there was a stubborn streak in Snape that refused to be baulked.
Smiling to himself as he thought of his irritating room-mate, and hoping he'd walk past the open door, Harry curled one hand around his stiff shaft and began lazily pumping. His free hand slipped under his top and worked a hard nipple. Panting, back arching with pleasure, he pleasured himself, his hand speeding up as his arousal grew. Thoughts of Severus filled his mind. He recalled the taste of the other man's seed, remembered the feel of that thick length in his hand, smelt again the unique scent of the man...
“Harry,” Snape was groaning. He stood in the doorway to the boy's room and was staring, face flushed, eyes transfixed on the rhythmical movement of the blanket.
Embarrassed, the Gryffindor stopped. His cock protested the ceasefire. Voice hoarse he croaked, “Severus, please.”
Unable to deny Harry, despite knowing he shouldn't, Severus entered the room, tugged back the bed linen and stared hungrily at the swollen, glistening tip. Slowly, one trembling hand reached down and gripped Harry. Crying out, the youth arched off the bed and whispered his partner's name. Severus bent over, capturing the lips and plundered the hot, wet mouth. Needy, Harry clutched one hand in Snape's hair, pulling the man ever closer. With the other he felt the older man's rigidity. He rubbed eagerly at it, hand pressing along the length in time to the pumping he was receiving.
It was messy and desperate and wonderful.
Sobbing into the other man's mouth, Harry jerked up and came, cock throbbing. Bending over, still being rubbed, Severus kissed the youth all the harder as his own climax boiled out of him and soaked his clothes.
The wolf made a noise like a purr at the pleasure.
Panting, Snape remained bent over the youngster, eyes closed, pulling himself together. “I had no intention of doing that,” he admitted, “But you do seem to bring out the worst in me.”
“The best, Severus, the best!” Harry was only half-joking. He certainly wasn't going to criticise the teacher for laying hands on this student.
“Perhaps you are right,” Snape conceded after a long pause. “However, as I have my year six NEWT level class shortly, this conversation will have to wait until another time.” He straightened, a disgusted expression on his face. “And I need to clean up and change,” he complained before leaving the room.
Being touched by Snape was wonderful. And Harry was quite desperate to feel that clever grip again, but he needed to get up as he was expected in the class Severus was teaching. Quite how he was supposed to behave like any other student after all they had done and what they planned to do, Harry didn't know, but he had spent so long hiding and disguising his true self, one way or another, that one more deception was no problem.
***
Returning to their rooms that night, after having spent the evening with Ron and Hermione at Snape's rapidly murmured request at the end of their lesson, Harry ached for it to be the next night. Then he would be preparing himself to have sex with Severus, not be preparing for another night of ridiculous tension and need. His homework was all done. Thursday was one of his lighter days, and the homework he had been set for Care of Magical Creatures hadn't kept him occupied too long. True, his Defence Against the Dark Arts task had caused him more trouble, but he had had the chance to begin mulling over the problem during a free and so, when Ron and Hermione had spied him in the Gryffindor common room, had been able to discuss the task with them (after they had had a good gossip first) and get some help completing his notes for the essay he had to write.
With them beside him, chatting and laughing, the essay had been completed. Maybe it wasn't as good as the work he completed on his own in Snape's rooms, but this moment away from the sexual tension had been wonderful.
Hermione smiled at him when he laid down his quill. Ron was still scribbling, so she spoke quietly, not wanting to disrupt her friend nor share too many secrets with the rest of the House. “You seem much better, Harry.”
“I feel it,” he admitted. “I know I've been a crappy friend recently, and I'm sorry, but...”
“But nothing. We both understand. It's been such an awful few months for you. And, we heard about poor Remus too. Killed because some of the werewolves thought he was on our side.”
Harry's shoulders twitched. He had no desire to discuss his abuser with anyone, let alone his two friends. They still had no idea what had been done to him, and he hoped they never did. If he could protect them from the horrors he had lived through, maybe then he would feel like he had accomplished something worthwhile.
Uncomfortable, he picked up the quill, glancing over what he had written and correcting it whilst listening to the noises of the common room around him.
Looking unsure of herself, the girl seemed to draw breath before asking, “And Pro-Professor Snape? He's helped you, right? Wh-when Lupin wasn't around, he took care of you?”
She was blushing faintly and Harry wondered if her keen brain had made some connections that other people (god, please don't let others have worked anything out!) hadn't about his relationship with the teacher.
“He's been ...” Harry paused, knowing he had to hold his true feelings in check. “Great, actually. More a real person than I ever thought he could be.” He clutched desperately at one thigh, digging his nails in as a reminder not to let his desire for the professor show.
“I noticed he seems to have changed towards you,” she admitted. “The … git we knew lower down in the school seems like a decent teacher now.” She shrugged, “Maybe all this time he just really wanted to be the DADA professor. Maybe he's just been miserable.”
Harry thought about it. No, Snape wasn't so easily appeased, but she was right about one thing, “Maybe he was miserable,” he agreed, “maybe he isn't any more.”
“Maybe you're not any more, either,” she observed, deliberately not looking at Harry.
Harry was sure now that she suspected something. Her face was pink and she was simply refusing to look at him. He scratched out one word and replaced it. “Professor Snape wants one of those DA galleons, if you could make him one?” He said, using his free hand to idly fiddle with the coin he carried in his pocket. To forestall her next question, he went on, “Next year, I might not be able to be at school, so he wants a way to check I'm all right, and to let me know where I can get my – er – special potion from.”
“The one for Pixie Venom?” she asked, deliberately loudly.
“Yeah, that one.”
Her eyes were looking off into the distance, doing that calculating thing that usually meant she was making links neither he nor Ron had even seen. “Yes,” the witch said finally, “Yes, I can make him one quite easily, and spell it to be like yours so that it conveys messages.”
“Er?”
She sighed, her face registering irritation as she stared at him. “Your coin changed all the others, remember? And no-one else's could. Otherwise how would people know which messages had come from you? So, I'll have to make a duplicate of yours. But that's no problem, I still have my notes.”
“Hermione, how'd you spell 'immedicable'?” Ron suddenly piped up, face screwed up.
Glancing down at his parchment she scolded, “not with an 'k'! And why are you writing that anyway? The spell we looked at had nothing to do with being untreatable!”
“Eh? I wanted that word that meant big.”
“Immeasurable?”
Ron gave her a warm smile. “That's the one.”
Their eyes seemed to catch and hold for a few seconds before they both looked away, cheeks flushed.
The wolf sniffed, smelling something that reminded him of Severus. But there was nothing that could possibly link to Snape here. What was it?
With a jolt Harry realised the wolf was smelling attraction between his two friends. The same attraction he and Severus had. Fighting the urge to be sick – after all, who wanted to think about Ron and Hermione doing it?! - he turned away, pressing his head low over the parchment, forcing his wolfy side to focus on that scent, not the truth of his friends' growing relationship.
“I think I'm done,” he announced, quickly rolling the essay up. In truth, he had a few more sentences to check before he could be sure it was right, but he needed to get away. It was bad enough dealing with sexual tension between himself and Severus, but sitting here and experiencing it second hand was more than he could bear. If he had to be frustrated, he'd rather be like that because he was near his almost-lover.
Forestalling their protests, he shoved his belongings away. Using the lie of his poisoning, he said, “I'm due another dose anyway.” He swung his bag over one shoulder, unaware of the girls whose eyes tracked his movements. “See you both tomorrow.”
***
On his way down the staircases, he tried not to let his thoughts wander back to his friends, but inevitably, they did. What would change if they got together? His 'relationship' with Cho last year had fizzled out and meant he had been too embarrassed to even look at her. What on earth would it be like if those two broke up? Could their combined friendship survive?
Harry felt oddly confused as he remembered Cho. He had been so sure then that he was straight, and yet now he was desperate to have sex with a man. Had he been so twisted by what Lupin had done to him that he thought that was normal now? Or was this just something about himself he had never truly acknowledged or given any credence to?
Chewing on his lower lip, he pushed open the door to their rooms. Snape looked up, and his eyebrows lowered when he saw the look of worried agitation on the Gryffindor's face.
“What's happened?” he asked.
“Hmm?” Harry dropped his bag on the floor, not even registering the scowl that action received. He flicked the door closed with one foot. Then he glanced up, took in the older wizard's expression and seemed to snap out of his reverie. “Oh, sorry, Severus. I was wondering something.”
“Obviously. What?”
“Am I really gay?”
Face now frozen into blankness, Snape waved Harry into a chair. He said, his voice oddly stilted, “Are you really gay?”
Harry scratched his forehead. “I mean, last year I was happy going out with Cho. And I liked kissing her. But, now I don't even think about girls like that. But then, I don't think about guys like that either. Just you. So, am I really gay?”
Part of Snape, the part that could be detached and logical, was very impressed Harry was considering this, and quietly proud that their relationship had developed so much that the youth felt comfortable bringing such an uncomfortable question up. The other part of Snape, the part that was aching to fuck the youngster, was horrified.
“That I can't answer for you. Perhaps you think Lupin's actions changed something fundamental in you,” he saw the surprised recognition on Harry's face and went on, “but I doubt that. Had you not been homosexual before this point, his cruelty is more likely to have turned you off the idea. We – you – have spent so long lying and hiding to keep yourself safe that I think you've never allowed yourself to be truly honest. And, I think that you know how insane your life is, the threats you live with, and maybe you were drawn into a 'normal' relationship as you wanted to feel normal in at least one area of your life.”
There was a long silence. Finally Harry said, “Maybe really the wolf's gay.”
Snape's jaw clenched. His heart was sinking, but how much better that they discussed this before they had sex? If the intimacy never happened, at least he'd never have to see Harry think him disgusting and someone who had taken advantage of a boy's confusion.
“Maybe,” he said, voice toneless.
Then Harry spoke again, “Maybe really I'm gay.” He kept his head down, staring blankly at the rug on the floor. “Maybe really I want to have sex with you. Maybe really it's something I've lied about.” There was a long pause. “Maybe I spent so long living with the Dursleys and trying to conform that I crushed not my magic, but my true nature.” He gave Severus a shy look. “Maybe really I can't wait for tomorrow night.”
Green eyes dazzling, he gave Snape a small smile. “I can't wait for tomorrow night,” he admitted, “and if that makes me really gay, then so be it.”
Oh, thank Merlin!
***
That night Harry lay in his bed and stared blindly up at the ceiling. Cautiously he tested himself: Am I gay? And if I am, how do I feel about it?
Inside he felt the wolf huffing impatiently, and he tried to listen. He frowned, not able to fully sense the animal, but he got the impression that the beast was irritated with him for questioning something that didn't matter. Harry caught a sense of the wolf's desire to dominate Severus, and its recognition of its need to submit as well.
Well, that's a first! He thought, all too aware of the wolf's dominant nature.
Getting back to his own problem – he had done plenty of things with Severus that normal men wouldn't have done. He had enjoyed those things immensely. Not just the obvious ones of being pumped or sucked to climax, but pumping Severus, or sliding his own mouth around a hot hard length...
One hand curled around his own hot hard length. Soon, he told himself, soon I'll have sex with Severus. In his head it felt almost musical. And it was that, finally, that assured him that this thing with his crochety teacher wasn't some new thing, it was something he had just never realised. Even from the first Snape had invoked strong feelings in him. Maybe he had always misunderstood what those feelings meant, being too young and unsure of himself to accept the truth.
Appeased, he drifted to sleep, trying not to concern himself with what would happen in less than twenty-four hour's time...
---
CH21 AN: Not sure where that came from. I'd fully intended Ch 21 to be their first time. And I'd never considered Harry's sexuality being an issue, but clearly he did and wanted to address it. I do wish the characters would do as they're told occasionally, rather than blind-siding me with things! SP
CH22 preview: It's called Rising. Enjoy.
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