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Much Ado About Nothing	By : goblet Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2534 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING
by The Goblet

Chapter 21

In the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus was having a rather hard time convincing the women of the castle that he was perfectly capable of preparing for his own wedding.

"I will be able to manage," he said as Minerva, Arabella and Lily invaded his personal chambers.

"You certainly cannot," replied Minerva as she set a large, rather heavy-looking basket on his coffee table.

Arabella took a strand of his oily hair in her fingers and rubbed. "Disgusting," she commented. "This needs to be cleaned. Not to mention a trim," she announced.

"I will wash it in the morning," Severus declared. "I do not need your assistance."

"Oh come on, Sev. The sooner you let us clean you up, the sooner we can leave, and the sooner you have your privacy back," Lily said. "Plus, it'll be fun."

"For you maybe."

"For you too," Arabella replied.

"No pain, no gain, Severus," Minerva teased.

Lily pulled out her wand. "We can do this the easy way, or we can bind and gag you: your choice."

"I am the victim of a carefully plotted ambush," muttered Severus, knowing that to give in to Lily now would be the best course of action if he wished to preserve his dignity. "Fine! Do what you wish."

"Brilliant!" the girls chorused and closed in on their victim.

An hour later found Severus sitting in a reclining chair in his bathroom. He was wearing nothing but his swimming trunks and was cursing the moment he opened the door to the two Gryffindors and the one Gryffindor want-to-be.

Arabella was washing his hair in the basin. Minerva had transformed it into a hairdresser's sink so that his neck was rested comfortably. Lily had smothered his hair in Henna Wax and wrapped it in clear plastic as soon as he had permitted the three women to touch him.

While the Henna was softening his hair, Lily and Minerva had taken it upon themselves to wax his legs and face. Not ever having waxed any part of his body before, Severus hadn't realised what they were planning until he was standing in his bathroom with strip wax covering his legs, and hot wax plastered to his face.

He had screamed out in pain as the wax was ripped from his eyebrows and nostrils. Shouting bloody murder as he thought his skin was being removed. Arabella had quickly covered the abused region, and the rest of his face with a cooling mask. The face mask was one of Lily's creations, which she had been steadily supplying to Minerva and Arabella for the past two years.

Not trusting the ladies after the debacle with his eyebrows and nose, Severus lightly ran a finger through the mask, to make sure that they wouldn't be trying to rip out any more hair from his face. He looked quite a sight, sprawled on a chair in the bathroom, wearing his swimming trunks, with his hair wrapped in plastic, a green frothy face mask covering his face, and white strip wax covering his legs.

Arabella covered his eyes with two slices of cucumber while Lily pulled out a wand, and cast a subtle immobility charm on him. She didn't want Severus kicking her while she was removing the wax from his legs.

Together, she and Minerva placed cotton strips down on Severus' legs. They rubbed hard, and counted to three, then simultaneously ripped the hair from his legs.

Severus' swearing was so bad that Lily was forced to place a silencing charm on him. The girls grinned at each other and continued to make his legs hair-free.

"Consider this full and final payback for the time you transfigured your desk into a sixty-foot serpent," Minerva said, as she tore the hair out of Severus' inner thigh.

Lily's immobility charm had stopped the Slytherin from being able to move any bone in his body. No matter how hard he tried to bat his eyelids to remove the cucumber slices that were covering his eyes, they wouldn't budge. As much as he would have liked to watch what the women were doing, he admitted, grudgingly, that he would rather not like to see their malicious smiles as they tortured him.

The feeling of two pairs of hands smoothing fabric into his skin and then ripping out his hairs was bad enough. The third pair of hands which was massaging a soothing potion into his abused skin was worse.

He wanted his Remus.

Finally, Arabella removed the cucumber slices from his face and, moving him over to the sink, gently washed the face mask away. She popped open a potion bottle, and poured a little into her hands. Adding a little water, she began to massage it into his skin.

It hurt too. It felt as though the squib was rubbing little grains of sand into his face. Between that and the stinging in his legs, Severus was not happy.

He didn't think it could get any worse until, while Arabella was washing his face for the second time, he felt his trunks being pulled aside and something warm and sticky coating the skin very close to his privates.

The look he gave Arabella was one of pure terror as Minerva and Lily removed the wax from his bikini line.

When Severus regained consciousness he found Lily staring down at him, and the immobility charm released.

"You ok?" she asked, wiping his brow with a wet cloth.

"Don't you ever, EVER do that again!" hissed Severus, sitting up in the reclining chair. He looked down at his now hairless legs. They were pasty white except for the red rash which covered the skin.

"What have you done to me?" he growled, giving each of women a forceful death stare.

"They'll be fine," assured Lily. "Just a little irritated at the moment, but I promise, they'll feel fantastic underneath your robes tomorrow."

Minerva pushed Severus backwards so that he was, once more, sitting comfortably in the chair. "No more pain, I promise you," she said. "Arabella is going to take care of your hair, and Lily and I are going to do your nails for you."

"My nails?" asked Severus apprehensively.

Lily nodded. "We're just going to get all the potion stains out."

Severus allowed himself to be cajoled by the three women into allowing them to continue, on penalty of being the proud recipients of Cod Liver Oil in their tea if they hurt him once more.

Arabella began by un-wrapping the plastic from his hair, and rinsing out the Henna with warm water.

Lily and Minerva set up two basins on either side of Severus. They mixed together one of Lily's potions with a little water and set Severus' hands to soak, before repeating the process with his feet.

Arabella gently rubbed some conditioner into Severus' hair, massaging his scalp in a bid to help him relax. As the squib massaged, Severus did settle down, closing his eyes, and allowing himself to enjoy being pampered without pain.

When his hair was clean, the women moved Severus away from the sink, and transfigured the chair so that he was seated upright.

Lily handed him a glass of red wine, before she and Minerva kneeled at his feet, and began to give him a pedicure. They removed the calluses from his heels, and cut his tough, yellowing toenails. Buffing and filing, they shaped the nails so that they looked neat, tidy and presentable.

While Severus' feet were being treated, Arabella was contemplating how to fix Severus' hair. It was long and dull and dreary. She didn't want to cut it short, as she didn't know whether or not Severus needed to tie his hair back in his potions work. Finally, she decided to trim off the split ends and reshape it slightly.

Before long, Severus was sporting a fresh new haircut and his feet were radiant. Minerva handed Arabella a charmed hairdryer, and focused her attention on Severus' hands.

She and Lily had their jobs cut out for them there. Severus' fingers were still stained with potion ingredients, even after a twenty-minute soak in Lily's potions. By mutual agreement, they began vigorously rubbing the undiluted concoction into the Potion Apprentice's hands.

As Lily and Minerva scrubbed away at Severus' hands, Arabella was drying Severus' hair. She didn't expect that the style would last until the wedding, but she wasn't going to let Severus go to bed with wet hair. She decided to give it a little body, and dried the groom's hair into a nice bob.

Minerva and Lily finally removed all the stains from Severus' fingers. They filed and buffed his nails, but stopped short of applying a clear varnish, so as not to attract attention to his hands.

"There we go, all done," announced Minerva, as she put away her nail file.

"It wasn't too bad, wasn't it?" asked Arabella, spinning Severus around so that he could see himself in the mirror.

Severus shrugged. He was still angry about his impromptu waxing.

Lily pulled out a small pair of scissors. "Now, just to trim your other hair and we're all set."

Severus' eyes widened. "Absolutely not!" he growled. "I am not letting you get anywhere near me with those scissors." He knew exactly what hair Lily wanted to trim, and he was not going to allow it at all.

"You have all done quite enough for this evening," he announced.

He looked at his watch. It was almost ten o'clock. "But if you will excuse me, ladies: it is getting late, and I am getting married tomorrow."

Severus looked at each of the women in his bathroom. "Thank you," he said quietly. "But if you ever, ever try to wax any part of my body again, I will give you all kidney stones."

The women smiled. "You're welcome Severus," said Minerva, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. "I'll come down early tomorrow and help you prepare."

Arabella hugged him. "Good luck tomorrow, I'll see you at the ceremony."

Lily was the last to say goodbye. She hugged him for a very long time. "I'm glad you finally got him to commit," she whispered in his ear. "You deserve to find love."

When she pulled away, there were tears in her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sev," Lily said. "I'll come down and see you before the ceremony."

Severus waited for the three Gryffindors to pack away their supplies before escorting them to the door. Once they were gone, he pulled out his wand and cast several more powerful wards onto his door just in case Lily tried to return to finish his hair cut.

The Slytherin walked into the bedroom and pulled off his trunks. He looked at himself in the mirror. He legs looked much better now that the rash had calmed. They seemed whiter than usual, but he assumed that was due to the fact that he was used to looking at them through thick, dark hair.

He inspected his eyebrows, and his hair. They both looked great. Arabella had done a fantastic job.

Severus leaned into the mirror, and examined his nose. It was still tender, and he couldn't really see the result of the waxing. He retrieved his wand, and shone a light up one nostril and then the other. He grudgingly conceded that his nose was marginally neater now.

Finally he stepped back and examined his crotch. The waxing had given his hair some definition, framing his manhood perfectly. Looking more carefully at the area, he realised that he agreed with Lily: it was, indeed, overgrown with hair.

Naked, Severus went off in search of a pair of scissors to give himself a haircut.

tbc...

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Much Ado About Nothing