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Nights of Gethsemane	By : starcrossedkayla Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 53273 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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[[Jilliane -it will be nonfiction, but writing this has helped me a lot.

Lilith - I'm glad you liked it!

Rosei - That cheers me up a lot! I've gotten a great reviewer who's excellent with grammar and spelling so you might notice minor changes soon. I'll tell you if I change anything big.]]

Snape attacked him again in the morning, but this time Harry woke before the first spell hit. He scrambled to get out of bed but became tangled in his sheets and ended up pitching himself face first towards the floor. Snape caught him with magic and returned him to the bed.

�That was very clumsy but better than before,� Snape said.

�You have no idea how unnerving it is to open your eyes and see what looks like an overgrown bat standing before you.� Harry finally figured out how to remove himself from the sheets and slid into his chair.

Snape spelled breakfast for him and took his seat, procuring a cup of tea for himself. �If I find a more successful way to get you out of bed, you can be sure I will employ it.�

�If you put good smelling food on the table you can be sure I will be out of bed in an instant,� Harry assured him as he ate his omelette.

�Probably,� acknowledged Snape. �But you must admit that is far less satisfying.�

�One day I will have a wand and then I�ll wake you up with hexes.�

�I would never sleep again,� Snape responded.

�Not peacefully,� agreed Harry. �What d�you have planned for today? More of the same?�

�No, I think you should practise aiming while dodging today.�

�That sounds difficult,� said Harry cheerfully.

�We will start with furniture in the room for you to duck behind, and as you improve, I will remove the pieces one by one.�

�I can�t wait.� Harry hurried through his breakfast.

Snape spoke quietly while Harry brushed his teeth. �It is unlikely that we will be visited before tonight, but it is always a possibility. If we are caught unawares during our training, I will do what is required of me and you should play along. I will try to avoid hurting you as much as possible, but you know it will be required of me at times.�

Harry froze with the toothbrush in his mouth. Finally, he spit out his toothpaste. �Just don�t do�that. You can hurt me or beat me or whatever. Just not that.�

�I will do my best, but I can�t promise you anything. It is easier to explain having you out of your cell for depraved purposes than for routine punishments,� Snape pointed out.

�Then let�s bring the cleaning supplies with us whenever I train, and if anyone shows up I will clean the room for you,� Harry suggested.

Snape considered that suggestion. �You are actually not supposed to be allowed in the vicinity of any chemicals that could be considered poisonous. I suppose I could gather a small collection of natural substances for you to use instead.�

�You mean you would�ve gotten in trouble if a Death Eater showed up in the middle of me cleaning?� Harry asked incredulously as he stripped and dumped his clothing on the bed.

�I hoped that ignorance of the Muggle world would prevent them from understanding the dangers of the chemicals if they caught you with them,� Snape explained as he led Harry upstairs. �If you are around them more frequently, then they will wish to examine them.�

�Oh, okay.� Harry walked to the centre of the practice room which had its normal furniture.

Snape tossed the laser pointer to him and he caught it deftly.

�Am I targeting you as well?�

�No. Engorgio!� Snape made several of the balls grow until they had a radius of a foot. He sent them to rest along the walls and turned all the normal sized balls different colours. �The large ones represent Death Eaters. You will target those.�

�Okay,� Harry nodded in understanding.

Snape flicked the wand to start the lesson, and Harry ran to duck behind the couch as balls flew at him. He wasn�t good enough to target while dodging more than a few at a time, so he hid behind the couch and took out the fake Death Eaters one by one.

After Harry had �killed� them all, Snape made the couch disappear and started the exercise again. Harry groaned at the loss of his favourite hiding place but resolutely began targeting as he moved around to hide between less effective shields.

When he had won the second round, Snape sent the balls away. �That�s enough for today.�

Harry wanted to keep practicing, but he knew he wouldn�t be allowed so he followed Snape downstairs.

�It�s going to be difficult to learn how to target them while dodging without any furniture in the room.� Harry admitted.

�You will do it in the throne room eventually,� Snape informed him as he opened the bathroom door.

�No way! That place is huge!� Harry climbed into the tub.

�It will be difficult, but I believe you can manage it.� Snape took out the potion and sat in his chair.

�I guess. I think I need my glasses first.�

�You don�t need them right now,� Snape insisted. �Focus on learning how to target without them. If you become reliant on them, then you will be useless without them.�

�Yeah, I see your point.� Harry ducked into the water to rinse off. �I just hate being blind.�

�Even if you were completely blind, you�d still have your other senses.�

�If Voldemort takes out my eyes I am giving up,� Harry declared. �I don�t care what you say -- there is no way I could go up against him and all the Death Eaters while blind.�

�He has no reason to remove your eyes,� Snape assured him.

�He�s crazy! He doesn�t need a reason to do anything he does.� Harry climbed out of the tub and dried off.

�I wouldn�t let him.�

�I�ll believe that you can stop him when I see it.� Harry began rubbing the potion into his muscles once he was dry.

�You aren�t in a position to be picky.�

�Yeah, I know.� Once Harry finished rubbing the potion into all the places he could reach he handed the bottle to Snape and knelt before the Death Eater so Snape could rub it into his upper back.

�Who will it be tonight?� Harry asked as Snape�s hands moved in quick but thorough strokes.

�Macnair.�

�Oh.� Macnair had said that he would cut off Harry�s body parts one by one. Harry wrapped the towel firmly around his waist and headed back to his cell. He sat in his chair and watched Snape spell lunch on the table before leaving.

Harry sat for a while before eating. He tried not to imagine what parts of his body Macnair would be cutting off. He guessed he could lose an ear like George. That wouldn�t be too bad. He just hoped that he wouldn�t lose a hand or foot. The thought of losing any part of his genitals was too horrific to even contemplate, so he shoved it from his mind and tried to eat his meal in peace.

He distracted himself with exercise once he was finished eating, but it wasn�t enough to calm his nerves and by the time Snape arrived Harry was pacing his cell in anticipation.

�Don�t let him cut off anything important,� he insisted as Snape chained his hands together.

Snape�s eyebrows moved in perplexity. �I won�t let him cut off anything.�

Harry followed him up to the throne room. Macnair stood by a table set up in the centre of the room. As Harry slowly approached, he saw the Death Eater had a very evil grin on his face and the table was covered with sharp knives and other instruments along one side. He swallowed hard as Snape moved to stand by Voldemort and Bellatrix on the dais.

�On the table,� ordered Macnair with a nasty sneer in his voice.

Harry did so slowly, trying not to look at the wicked blades to his left. He lay down on his back as Macnair removed the chain binding his hands.

�Immobilus!� Harry could no longer move. Unlike the full-body bind, he could still breathe and his heart beat furiously in his chest. Macnair moved Harry�s arms to rest on either side of his torso. Harry could move his eyes and blink but could not turn his head. He stared up at the ceiling and tried to relax.

�I just sharpened these: let�s test them out.� Macnair held a long, thin curved blade up so Harry could see it. He moved the blade away and then Harry felt a sharp pain in his upper right arm as the blade was pushed in. He closed his eyes and tried not to move as he felt the blade push through his arm and emerge on the other side. Macnair left the blade inside of him.

�Nice and sharp, ain�t it?� Macnair asked in a voice heavy with lust. He picked up another knife and Harry felt him draw the blade across his throat, splitting his skin open. �One of these days I will have your head. I will remove your eyes first.� He pushed his knife into Harry�s face, right below his eye. Harry didn�t breathe, least the knife would slide and pierce him through the eye. He felt his skin break as Macnair cut down his cheek.

�Let�s open you up.� He pressed the knife between Harry�s collarbones and very slowly and carefully cut straight down his torso, stopping a few inches below Harry�s belly button. He then cut two parallel lines, one connecting Harry�s armpits and the other from hip to hip. Harry figured out what he was going to do a second before he did it. When he felt Macnair start to peel back his skin to expose his chest, he became so hysterical he passed out.

He was revived when Macnair slammed something heavy down on Harry�s left pinky. He heard the sickening crack of bone as sharp pain strummed through his body. Macnair repeated the action on the rest of the fingers in turn. Harry kept his eyes tightly closed, sure that when he opened his eyes he would find his chest fully exposed. He heard Macnair walk around to the other side of the table. No! Not his wand hand! Harry tried to beg him to leave his right hand alone but he couldn�t move his mouth properly and the sounds he made were all gibberish.

Voldemort�s cruel laughter drowned him out as Macnair�s weapon fell on his right pinky. He sobbed helplessly as he felt his fingers break one by one.

Voldemort was speaking after Macnair broke his thumb, but Harry was too devastated to try to figure out what they were saying. It was over; all of his training had been for naught. He would never be able to defeat Voldemort with his wand hand broken. Why hadn�t Snape stopped them? He had been betrayed by Snape yet again. He was ashamed of his tears but he couldn�t stop crying.

Snape approached and pressed a potion to Harry�s lips. Harry drank it quickly, eager to fall into nothingness.

~

He woke in his room, his torso and hands heavily bandaged. He wanted to rip off the white strips of cloth and survey the damage, but he was scared of what he would find. He couldn�t move his fingers at all, and it terrified him even though he knew that the bandages were probably locking them in place.

Snape walked into the hallway. �I am glad to see you are conscious.�

�It�s over,� Harry whispered miserably, too despondent to express his hatred as Snape deserved. �I can take out the Death Eaters without magic, but I need my magic to defeat Voldemort. How will I hold a wand? You said you�d protect me.�

Snape stepped over. �I will heal your hands.�

�Why? Why did you let him do that?�

Snape frowned. �I advised the Dark Lord against that particular form of torture, but he has grown a bit too reliant on my abilities as a healer.�

�You should�ve tried harder!� Harry yelled at him.

Snape�s eyes flashed. �Don�t you dare presume to tell me what to do! I�ve kept you alive, haven�t I?�

�Alive-� Harry started to say scornfully.

Snape interrupted him. �Yes, both of us are still alive despite planning to destroy the Dark Lord right under his nose. I wouldn�t have survived as a Death Eater if I hadn�t known when to ask for favours and when to remain quiet. I will stand against him when I can but I must remain in his favour if I am to remain here and train you. Although I would have preferred it had he never touched your hands, I didn�t let him do anything I was incapable of repairing. Give it time and you will be completely fine. �

�I don�t have time! What if he tries to kill me right now?�

�He won�t,� Snape assured him as he spelled food on the table. He fixed the porridge just the way Harry liked it and brought it to the bed, pulling a chair to sit beside Harry. �I promise you, he won�t try to kill you while your hands are broken.�

�How can you be so sure?� Harry stared at him in doubt.

�I know how the Dark Lord thinks. When he comes to destroy you it will be when you are at the peak of health. He allowed it to continue because he believes I have the ability to restore you back to full health quickly.�

�Do you?�

�I have recently developed new potions and they have proven even more effective than I had hoped to anticipate. You may have noticed that it is rare for you to remain infirmed for longer than a day now,� Snape pointed out.

Harry was still doubtful. �A day is a long time.�

�If you heal faster, then they will wish to hurt you more often. I have enough difficulties keeping them from you between sessions as it is already,� he admitted.

�I thought they weren�t supposed to hurt me when he wasn�t there.�

�They don�t have to hurt you to torture you,� Snape reminded him.

Harry bit his lip. As much as he hated Snape sometimes, he knew that Snape wouldn�t torture him unless Voldemort required it of him. The same could not be said about the other Death Eaters. He hadn�t even considered that Snape would�ve had to work hard to keep the Death Eaters away from Harry when Voldemort wasn�t around.

Snape scooped a spoonful of porridge and brought it to Harry�s lips.

�Even if he won�t come after me right now, what if we need to destroy Voldemort first?� Harry asked before accepting the spoon. As soon as the porridge hit his stomach he felt starved.

Snape continued to feed him. �You aren�t ready yet. Still, he should be discouraged from ignoring my advice and allowing that to happen again. Pretend that your hands are stiff and your fingers damaged long after they are healed.�

�And if they never do?�

�If all else fails, I will remove the bones and regrow them.�

Harry made a face. He hated the taste of Skele-grow. �I hope not.�

�I don�t think that will be necessary,� Snape agreed. �Macnair was clumsy and did not do as much damage as he could have done.�

Harry moved one hand to touch his bandaged chest. �Did he skin me?�

�No, I just didn�t want you re-opening your wounds.� Snape explained as he warmed the cooling porridge.

Harry relaxed against the sheets and let Snape feed him. When he finally felt full he said, �That�s enough, thanks.�

Snape sent away the dishes. �There won�t be much for you to do until your wounds heal.�

�Can�t I practise dodging?�

Snape pulled back the sheet covering Harry�s lower body and Harry saw bandages around his thighs and calves. No wonder he had trouble moving them. Snape replaced the sheet. �You shouldn�t be on your feet more than is necessary.�

�How can I train when I keep getting put out of commission?� Harry grumbled.

�It will be useful for you to learn how to defend yourself when injured. If you wish to be an Auror, such training is necessary.�

�Yeah, I guess,� Harry sighed. �Hey, can you teach me to be stealthy like you?�

�I will do my best, but considering how loudly you normally carry yourself, I fear it will be an impossible task.� Snape looked doubtful.

�I can be pretty quiet when I need to be,� challenged Harry. �I had to be quiet around my relatives sometimes. I�m just not as good at it as you are. How d�you walk without making a sound? I can do it if I go slowly but not if I tried to walk normally.�

�There are spells you can use but it is all a matter of how you roll your feet,� Snape explained. �Place the ball of your heel down first and then roll towards your toes.�

Harry moved to put his feet on the floor. �Like this?� He tried it out.

�Yes,� Snape nodded.

�Help me to the toilet?� Harry requested.

Snape offered an arm and Harry pulled himself to his feet. He practised walking as Snape instructed as he made his way to the toilet. He was glad he was nude because he thought he would�ve made a fool of himself trying to lower his pyjama bottoms.

Snape helped him back to his bed.

�I can�t even read like this,� Harry complained once he was fully back on the mattress.

�Not easily,� agreed Snape. �I�ll bring you another book.� He disappeared in a swirl of black.

Harry wondered what the Death Eater meant. How would getting another book help him? Snape returned with a book even larger than Cosmos.

Harry accepted it, balancing it on his thighs. Art Through the Ages. He found he could turn the huge pages even with his heavily bandaged fingers.

�I�m not a fan of art,� he said, �but it�s better than nothing.�

�I�ve only recently learned to appreciate it myself,� Snape admitted. �I have brewing to attend to so I must leave now. I will return to bring you lunch.� He left.

Harry slowly flipped through the art book. On one side of the page was a picture of the work, on the other side was a description of the piece. Harry loved Greek art. The sculptures looked as though they would burst to life any minute and he appreciated all the naked women. He ignored his hardening penis, as he didn�t think there would be any way for him to masturbate properly with his hands so confined. He tried to focus on the male forms instead of the female, but his disobedient organ refused to go down. He was glad to move into the Byzantine era. Christian mosaic art just wasn�t as erotic as the Greek and Roman works.

Harry was reading about Mesoamerican art when Snape arrived.

�Was the book to your liking?�

�Anything with naked women interests me.� Harry grinned at him.

Snape frowned in response. �If you dirty my book, you are buying a new one.�

Harry closed it and set it to the side as Snape stepped over to the bed. �Don�t worry, I won�t. Not like I can now, anyway.�

Snape ran his wand down the bandages covering Harry�s chest and they fell away. Harry looked down to see three angry red lines but no other marks on his chest. Snape removed all the other bandages on Harry�s body except for the ones on his fingers. Harry saw more red marks on his upper right arm and on his thighs and calves.

Snape pulled out a jar and a roll of bandages from his robes and began to rub a lotion into the wounds. Once he finished with a section, he rewrapped it. After he had finished with everything but Harry�s hands, he carefully removed a thin bandage from Harry�s face. Harry had forgotten about his cut cheek because the bandage was so thin and lightweight. Snape carefully applied his lotion to the wound and then replaced the bandage.

�I don�t feel it when I talk.� Harry moved up one hand to touch the covering even though he couldn�t feel it through his bandages.

�It is mostly healed,� Snape explained as he carefully removed the bandages from Harry�s other hand. Harry stared down at his fingers, which were swollen and held rigidly in place by splints. Snape produced another potion and rubbed it carefully into Harry�s fingers. He re-bandaged the digits, this time leaving them unattached to each other.

�When d�you think I will be able to use them again?� Harry asked as Snape washed his hands.

�You should be able to curl them tomorrow.�

�How long should I pretend they are still damaged?� Harry tried to see how far he could move each wrapped finger.

�Show almost no movement this next session and limited movement at the session beyond that one.� Snape summoned a stew and conjured a bed tray for Harry.

�Okay, I can do that.� Harry clumsily gripped the spoon Snape handed to him and fed himself as best he could, spilling a good portion of the food on the tray instead of in his mouth. �Can I practise listening to spells?� He wanted to do something besides read.

�Yes, we can do that,� Snape allowed.

�I can�t wait,� Harry said eagerly. After he finished his stew, Snape fed him some nasty tasting potions.

�Now can we practise?� Harry asked after he had forced the last one down his throat.

�Yes, move to the centre of the bed.�

Snape blindfolded Harry once the young wizard had done so. Before long, Harry felt and heard the spells zoom by his head. He tried guessing which curses and hexes Snape was sending towards him and found that he was pretty adept at identifying spells. They practised for a few hours before Snape stopped the exercise and removed the blindfold.

�How did you learn to cast so many curses without saying them out loud?� Harry asked as he settled back on top of the covers.

�I was using magic to conceal my words from you but it is possible to do magic entirely without wand or voice as you probably have guessed. The magic produced that way is unfocused and uncontrolled unless you know exactly how to control it without a wand but even then, certain spells can not be cast. An Avada Kedavra cast wandlessly and soundlessly can kill the caster. Children are taught to do magic while using wands to prevent catastrophes.�

�So I could beat Voldemort without a wand?�

�Yes,� nodded Snape. �It would be far more difficult than anything else you�ve done and you�d need sufficient training first but you could do it if you learned to control your magic well enough.�

That was probably Snape�s plan, Harry realised. Harry was going to have to go fight Voldemort without anything at all but his magic. No wonder Snape hadn�t told Harry his plan earlier. The idea of going before Voldemort without a wand filled him with dread. But� if Snape thought he could do it, then he probably could. There was only one huge problem: how would Harry practise wandless magic?

Snape handed the art book back to Harry, which was good because Harry wasn�t sure he�d have been able to pick it up even with his fingers less bandaged.

�I will return to bring you dinner,� Snape informed him before leaving.

�Okay,� Harry nodded and flipped to the page on which he had left off.

Harry had just finished the book when Snape arrived and conjured him dinner.

�I don�t like modern art. I think its ugly, especially when you compare it to classical art.� Harry closed the book and pushed it to the edge of the bed for Snape to pick up.

�I had the same impression originally.� Snape had more of the beef stew for Harry. He set up the bed tray and floated it over.

�What changed?� Harry clumsily ate his dinner.

�As I learned the history behind the pieces, I came to understand them. However, mostly I just gained an appreciation for different aesthetics.�

�What does that mean?�

�It means I had a narrow view of what I considered to be beautiful. I eventually came to appreciate forms I had previously dismissed as unattractive.� Snape explained.

�So you think a bunch of coloured squares is just as artistic as the Greek statues?� Harry asked incredulously.

�You are trying to compare apples and oranges. If you view modern art with the same lenses as classical art, you will be sorely disappointed in modern art. Think of it as appreciation for the male form versus the female form.� Snape picked up the art book and flipped to a picture of a Doryphoros. �Even if you are only sexually attracted to women, you can still acknowledge the attraction of the masculine form if only for the power and virility suggested in the body of a well-toned male.�

Harry felt his face flush for some reason as he stared at the statue. �Yeah, I guess��

Snape cleared the dishes. �Try to sleep now. As soon as your body restores itself, we will resume regular training sessions.�

�Can I sleep in the cupboard?� Harry asked.

�Excuse me?� Snape�s eyebrows drew in together.

�Or here with the lights off. It�s too bright in here for me to sleep properly,� complained Harry.

�As there are no light switches, I would have to use magic which could be dangerous because of how magic interacts with electricity,� Snape explained. �If you wish to sleep in the cupboard, then that can be arranged.�

�I would.� Harry nodded.

�Wait here.� Snape left the cell, heading in the direction of the cupboard. After a bit, he returned and offered his arm to Harry. Harry accepted it and limped out along side of him. Snape opened the door and Harry saw that the floor was completely covered with blankets. Snape summoned Harry�s pillow and handed it to him as Harry climbed into the surprisingly soft nest.

�I will arrive in the morning to bring you breakfast,� Snape informed him as he adjusted the blankets.

�Okay.� Harry had never felt more relaxed.

Snape shut the door and Harry slept peacefully.

[[Doryphoro literally means "Spear Bearer" and is the title of one of the most famous Greek sculptures. It was created by Polykleitos and there are many copies. You can view pictures of it here and here.]]
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Nights of Gethsemane