Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Broken Dreams	By : onecelestialbeing Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 34536 -:- Recommendations : 4 -:- Currently Reading : 13
Disclaimer: I make no money from this story, own nothing of Harry Potter, haven't met any of the people (except Alan Rickman and sadly that was brief)

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
A/N: THANK YOU for the reviews! If I could give a day-with-Snape in turn for each review, I would cheerfully do so, but all I have a chocolate chip cookies with extra chips.

Hermione had mixed feelings about Apparating back to Spinner's End. Part of her wanted to return to her own home, yet she knew that going on the lam would solve nothing. Her other half wanted to accost Severus, demanding that he tell her his side to the whole Lily story, yet she knew how that would most likely pan out.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how Hermione was looking at the situation, when she returned to Spinner's End, it was only Midnight that greeted her. Severus had allowed the wards to only admit Hermione so that she would be able to come and go as needed. As soon as she walked through the front door, her black kitten ran down the hallway and rubbed up against her legs, mewing happily.

Hermione walked to the sitting room and found it empty. Calling out for Severus and meeting silence, she briefly looked throughout the rest of the house, finding that she was alone. Severus had left a covered plate of dinner in the kitchen, using a charm to keep it warm. The meal was the only indication that he'd been in the house, as he left no note or parchment stating where he was or when he planned on returning.

Even though her dinner proved to be sumptuous, Hermione was still battling a case of nerves and could only manage a few bites. She waited in the sitting room for Severus to return, distractedly playing with Midnight as her eyes repeatedly moved from the view of the darkening sky through the window to her wristwatch.

When quarter to ten rolled around, Hermione's feelings ranged between anger and worry. Her instincts reassured her that Severus was fine; if only physically. His appearance was minacious enough that most people, wizard or Muggle, usually gave him wide berth. On the other hand, Hermione was positively livid that Severus had disappeared for hours on end without giving enough common courtesy to leave so much as a note.

Hermione couldn't help but notice the book that Severus had placed Lily's photograph and letter between the pages of was nowhere in sight. She already felt as if Severus' unconventional absence was a slap in the face, and not knowing the complete reason for his actions made her slightly ill again.

It was another thirty minutes that Hermione waited for Severus and he still hadn't showed up. She nearly fell asleep on the threadbare sofa when she thought she heard the front door and snapped awake. Grimacing at the crick in her neck, she continued listening out, annoyed when she realized that banging door belonged to a neighbor. Once Midnight's milk dish had been set out, Hermione trudged up the narrow staircase, and took a quick shower before slipping into bed. She struggled to keep her eyes open, curling up on her side beneath the duvet and attempting to focus on the book she'd brought up with her.

Despite her overwrought mood, Hermione eventually fell asleep. She had turned over in bed, colliding with something soft when she dazedly opened her eyes, dimly registering the pitch black of the room.

"Severus?" she asked sleepily, raising her head from the pillow. Severus was lying next to her, his back facing her side. When he didn't answer, Hermione assumed that he was asleep and lay back down. For all of her earlier angst, she found that she was unable to muster up any anger at the moment, and moved closer against his warm side.

Hermione was unaware that Severus had been awake the entire time, yet chose to let her think that he was sleeping. The little witch proceeded to tangle her limbs with his, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. She never registered the arm that cradled her body after she had fallen back into a sound sleep.

Hermione wasn't completely surprised to wake up alone in bed the next morning, the duvet securely tucked around her body. She confusedly blinked for a moment, wondering if she'd spent the entire night alone, until she remembered that Severus had in fact returned home, as his scent was still lingering on his pillow.

Once she washed and dressed, Hermione went downstairs, steeling herself for whatever was going to come. "Good morning," she tentatively greeted, walking into the kitchen and finding Severus at the table, a cup of tea and the Daily Prophet in front of him.

"Good morning," he echoed, briefly looking up from the paper to point to a plate near the hob. "Your breakfast is over there."

"Thank you," Hermione replied, taking up her breakfast and sitting down across from Severus. Wordlessly, he poured and prepared a cup of tea and pushed it next to her plate. Hermione was halfway though her meal when it became glaringly obvious that Severus had no intentions of explaining his whereabouts the night before.

"Severus, what happened to you last night?" she began slowly. "You were gone for hours; I was worried."

"I needed to clear my head," he tersely answered, his head still buried in the Daily Prophet. Swallowing the bit of toast that suddenly grew dry in her mouth, Hermione pointedly stared across the table. "I can understand that; but it would have been nice if you'd left a note. When I came back from Harry's, I waited for you nearly four hours before going to bed, and you still hadn't returned home. I guess I'm stating the obvious, but does it have anything to do with the photograph I found yesterday?"

Severus' expression was completely deadpanned as he looked back at Hermione, remaining silent before going back to his reading.

"Severus Snape, don't you ignore me," Hermione snapped, throwing down her last square of toast. "I've done nothing for you to treat me like this. Even if you didn't want to be bothered last night, you could have at least left me a note!"

"Why does it matter to you?" he asked icily, refusing to lower the newspaper.

"Why does it matter?" Hermione echoed in disbelief, reaching across the table to yank down the Prophet. "What is the matter with you?"

Severus tugged the now wrinkled newspaper out of Hermione's grasp, smoothing the pages in a single broad sweep before placing it down on the table.

"Why do I feel like an incompetent student in your Potions class?" she said of his derisive glare. "I don't think I've done anything wrong, unless you feel the need to tell me otherwise."

"No; you haven't," Severus replied, picking up his newspaper once more and opening it to the page he was previously reading.

Hermione released an exasperated groan, attempting to tug the paper down from in front of Severus' face again when he easily dodged her efforts. "I wish you would desist," he dryly requested, folding the page back once Hermione withdrew the offending hand.

"Well, I'm trying to have a conversation with you, and you're intent on ignoring me!" she snapped, Severus' disinterested attitude serving to inflame her temper. "I'm not getting up from this table until you tell me what has your wand in a knot."

"You are free to sit here if you like, I won't try and stop you."

"Severus!"

"Just leave it, Hermione."

Hermione glared unblinkingly at Severus, unaware of the way her hands had balled up into little fists. Truthfully, she wanted to thump him in the head, but Hermione knew that Severus had his limits.

"So is that it, then? You're going to sit here and brood and refuse to look at me?" she asked.

"I hadn't planned on it, but if you mean brooding by attempting to quietly read the paper, then..."

"You are brooding and you're ignoring me. Don't deny it or try to make out like I'm going mad for thinking so either. Does this have to do with the picture of Harry's mum? Just so you know he filled me in about that yesterday, well, I got his version of things. I just wish that I'd heard about it first from you."

"Trust Potter, always there at the opportune moment," Severus sneered, flicking to the next page of his newspaper.

"Don't blame Harry for this," Hermione retorted. "What I don't understand is why you've shared everything else except for your past with Lily. Is she a verboten topic?"

"Drop it," Severus said in a warning tone, his fingers noticeably tensing around the newspaper.

"Drop it?" Hermione echoed in disbelief. "But I thought that-"

"You thought what?" Severus coolly interrupted, although his black eyes icily flashed in her direction.

Hermione went from feeling angry, to numb, then to dejected. She knew that it was pointless to harp on the fact that Severus chose to omit certain things from his past, or to try and force him to discuss them with her. But the proverbial slap in the face was the idea that Severus was most likely still in love with a dead woman. Hermione thought it petulant for becoming upset by that niggling and irreversible point, yet it left her feeling hopeless nonetheless.

Curtly thanking Severus for her breakfast, Hermione got up from the table and emptied the remains of her plate into the bin. She then silently moved about, tidying up the rest of the kitchen, after which she walked out and left him behind at the table.

For once in her life Hermione was a complete loss for words. She didn't blame Severus for the way he felt, but it still gave solid meaning to the very thing she had been worried about ever since visiting Harry.

Midnight immediately jumped into Hermione's lap when she walked into the sitting room and took her place in the armchair by the desk. She proceeded to absentmindedly stroke his black fur while staring out the window.

Severus was embittered, and took his time lingering about in the kitchen. When he finally moved from the table, he rounded the corner and walked into the sitting room, staring across at a forlorn Hermione. He hadn't meant to act like a bastard towards her; it wasn't Hermione's fault that he still had issues of his own to muddle through. Yet when she had found the forgotten picture of Lily, it dredged up old hurtful memories as well as springing forth new insecurities. On top of it, Potter had opened his mouth, sharing only the bare minimum of which he was privy to, and Severus knew that he would eventually have to fully explain things to the obviously upset witch.

Hermione didn't notice that Severus was standing a few feet away from her. She was too busy peering down at Midnight, listlessly amusing him by dangling the ends of her hair in his face and pulling them away from his swiping paws.

"What do you need from me, Severus?" Hermione suddenly asked in a disquieted tone. Severus arched an eyebrow slightly; she hadn't let on to being aware of his presence. "Do you need some time alone to sort out your thoughts?"

Her tone held no judgment or accusation, merely the need for guidance on how to handle the precarious situation. Going by her prior experiences with Severus, Hermione knew that for the moment she had to put her own feelings to the side in favor of his. She also knew that she had to accept that Severus had his reasons for not telling her about Lily, even if his disregard stung.

"Perhaps that would be best," Severus replied resolutely, wishing that he hadn't seen the tears that suddenly welled up in Hermione's brown eyes.

"All right then," she said, standing up with Midnight in her arms. It was evident that Hermione was trying to blink away her tears, attempting to sound as if she wasn't perturbed in the least by Severus' comment. "I'll just get my things; maybe later, if you want to...well, I'm sure that I'll be at my house."

Hermione was still stunned as she walked upstairs to Severus' bedroom. Gathering her bag and whatever belongings that remained strewn about, Hermione numbly made her way back to the sitting room, finding Severus looking out to the window with his back to her.

"Would you like me to escort you home?" he asked without turning around.

"No...I won't put you to any trouble. It's still early, I think I'll be fine." Severus didn't sound completely dismissive, nor could Hermione say that he was open to her advances at the moment, and she wondered if she should kiss him goodbye.

Throwing caution to the wind, Hermione hesitantly approached Severus, placing one hand on his shoulder. He still wore a distracted look, yet pulled Hermione close and planted a brief kiss on her forehead.

"Will I see you later?"

"Most likely not tonight, but during the week I'm sure," he answered after releasing her.

Hermione felt somewhat appeased by the brief show of affection, even if Severus was still behaving standoffishly. When he turned back towards the window, Hermione bent down to retrieve Midnight, who had been lingering at her feet. Without another word, she single-handedly wrestled her traveling cloak around her shoulders and left Spinner's End.

Hermione didn't know what to do with herself once she was back in her own house. There had been plenty of occasions where she passed the time with nothing but a book and Crookshanks for company. Now Hermione was used to being in the presence of her dark wizard, and found that she felt strangely unsettled being away from him.

Setting Midnight down, Hermione gave scarce attention to the direction he scampered off in. She went straight to her bedroom, shrugging out of her cloak and tossing it on a chair. She was still able to feel the place on her forehead where Severus kissed, and she idly traced her fingers around the area.

Heaving a sigh, Hermione remembered that she needed to ward her house, and withdrew her wand to do so. Once she finished, she kicked her trainers off and flopped down horizontally across her bed, idly turning the length of wood about between two fingers.

It had taken all of her self control to not break down and cry as she walked away from Severus. Hermione had every intention of doing so once she was alone, but found that she was now unable to. The last thing Hermione expected was for her liaison with Severus to be anything but easy. Still, she never envisioned having to deal with the awkward situation with him and Harry's mum.

Hermione desperately wanted to know if Severus was still in love with Lily. At least that way she could have some sort of understanding as to where she stood in his life. As to be expected, the surly wizard flat out refused to discuss his past with Lily, and it left Hermione in an uncomfortable quandary.

There was no denying it- she was hurt by the way Severus was handling the situation. But it wasn't as if there was some handbook that offered advice on how to deal with the delicate topic of one's dead childhood friend, or when one erringly had a hand in said friend's demise.

Casting her own muddled thoughts to the side for a moment, Hermione wondered how Ginny was faring. It was evident by the look in Draco's grey eyes the day he came for Ginny at her brother's shop that he was protective of the witch. The redhead had been only too gleeful to go off with her beau. Luna's pale blue eyes also lit up when she talked about Blaise, and Hermione was happy for both her friends. Still, there was some part of her that wished that at least one thing would work in her favor without meeting all sorts of obstacles.

Grumbling when she realized that she was feeling sorry for herself, Hermione put her wand down and turned over onto her stomach. If being around Severus had taught her nothing, it was that he would do nothing until he was ready. The only thing Hermione could do was grit her teeth and bear his uncommunicative behavior.

But for how long?

Three days had gone by and Hermione still hadn't heard from Severus. It took every bit of self-control she had to not Apparate to Spinner's End. By Wednesday morning, Hermione's nerves had worn thin, and she was grateful for the distraction when Ginny's owl flew through her kitchen window.

Midnight mewled with delight when the tiny brown owl came into view, and hopped up onto the kitchen counter, spinning around hopefully. Hermione offered Button a piece of leftover bacon, using it to distract him long enough to untie the parchment from around his leg.

Unable to scribble down her reply fast enough, Hermione nearly poked a hole through her parchment with the Muggle ballpoint pen. Twenty minutes later, Ginny and Luna Apparated with a soft pop inside the front room, Button perched on Ginny's shoulder.

"Bloody hell, Hermione," Ginny quipped after giving her a tight hug. "You look as if you've been on a bender. Everything all right?"

Luna had also hugged Hermione, and was now placidly eyeing her friend. "You've been crying."

"Perhaps," Hermione mumbled, wishing that she had thought to use a glamour charm or splash her face with cold water before her company arrived.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Luna asked, her blue eyes filled with concern.

"No...maybe..." Hermione trailed off dubiously. "I'm not sure if I should."

"Well, I know you aren't crying over my dolthead brother, and if it was about your parents then you would be able to tell us," Ginny began, "So the only other thing I can think of is-"

"Yes, it has to do with Severus," Hermione interrupted, her heart thumping erratically as she mentioned his name. "Luna already figured out that he and I were...well whatever this thing between us is, so I guess I can speak freely about it. But I do need you two to keep this to yourselves for obvious reasons."

"Of course," Luna agreed as Ginny also nodded her head. "Is there anything we can help with?"

"I don't think so, but thanks all the same," Hermione sighed, beckoning the two to follow her into the kitchen. "Sit down, I'll put the kettle on."

"What happened, Hermione?" Ginny asked as she sank down onto a stool. "Did you two have a row? Were you were unable to convince Snape that you were right about something?" Ginny chuckled at her own joke, becoming encouraged when Hermione managed a weak grin.

"No, it's nothing like that," Hermione replied, filling the kettle with water and placing it on the hob. "Unfortunately it's more complicated than that, and even that is putting it mildly."

Ginny's smile faltered, the amusement disappearing from her brown eyes. "Hermione, what happened?" she pressed on, sounding more serious. "He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?"

"What? No!" Hermione vehemently insisted, leaning back against the counter with her arms folded across her chest. "Not intentionally at least..."

"Hermione?" Luna gently prodded.

"Let's just say that I inadvertently learned something about Severus' past, something that he didn't tell me, and now it has me second-guessing myself and everything that's happened between us, and I feel like a complete arse."

Both Luna and Ginny cast baffled looks at Hermione, trying to muddle through her rant and decipher any hidden meaning. Hermione gave another sigh, and began to explain what Harry had told her about Severus and his mum.

"Oh, that," Ginny replied, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"You knew about it?" Hermione asked, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Yes, but only because I'd eavesdropped when Harry was telling Dad about it," Ginny answered. "I never told anyone and to be honest, I haven't thought about it until you brought it up just now. I think the only reason Harry told Dad was so that Snape wasn't sent to Azkaban. Dad said that they had to tell Kingsley and that was the last I'd heard on the subject."

"You know I won't say anything, but that's what has you upset, isn't it?" Luna added. "You think the professor doesn't love you."

"I..." Hermione began, at a loss for words. "Damn, Luna, must you be Miss Clairvoyant? I cannot stomach Divination, but you would be a perfection replacement for Trewlawney."

"Have you told him how you felt Hermione?"

"No, Ginevra," Hermione responded tartly. "Well, I did mention a four-lettered word to him already, but to be honest, the only thing I was able to focus on was what would happen if Severus was still in love with Lily, where that would leave us. Selfish, I know, but it's how I felt. Unfortunately when I tried talking to him about it, he immediately clammed up and refused to say anything else. What else am I supposed to think?"

"Hermione," Ginny exaggeratedly drawled out. "You know how wizards are; if it comes to some disgustingly loud bodily function they're keen to let the world know about it, but feelings? You have a better chance at Merlin rising from the dead and coming round for a cuppa before a wizard willingly chooses to openly discuss his feelings." Her eyes briefly strayed to the steam that had begun pouring from the spout. "Besides, remember all of the advice you gave me when it came to dealing with Harry?"

Hermione gave a short nod, turning around to take out three mugs from the cupboard. "You know, I can understand if the professor has trouble saying how he feels," Luna sagely added, "but it doesn't mean that he doesn't feel something for you. I'm actually shocked that you're even entertaining that idea."

Hermione let that notion sink into her mind, falling silent for a minute. The kettle began loudly whistling and she turned her back to her friends and prepared each mug of tea. She realized that Luna and Ginny made valid points, almost dispelling some of the insecurity that she felt ever since talking to Harry. Still, she would have preferred hearing said notions directly from Severus.

The past three days without him proved to be more difficult than she had anticipated. She had gotten used to and became nearly immune to his droll remarks, knowing when to turn a deaf ear to Severus' patented brand of sarcasm.

Bedtime was another story. Despite being cross with Severus, Hermione was unable to forget the way he made her body sing beneath his caresses. He never failed to bring her to an utmost state of pleasure, always leaving her in a half-delirious puddle of witch. Every time Hermione thought about her and Severus being intimate, she became aroused beyond belief, and the throbbing between her legs remained longer than she cared for.

Tosser, she silently fumed, resisting the urge to lick her lips as she thought about the taste of Severus' mouth and the just dominating enough manner in which he would kiss her.

Forcing herself to think clearly, Hermione carried the two mugs over to Ginny and Luna and set them down. She was positive that her cheeks were flushed and bowed her head, hoping that they wouldn't notice.

"Hermione, you wouldn't be going through this if you didn't feel strongly about Professor Snape," Luna told her. "I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you; just be patient with him."

"You speak as if you know something I don't," Hermione replied, taking a generous sip of her tea. "But I'll keep that it mind. I swear, I sound like an actress in a soap opera. Speaking of which, how are things with your own Slytherin, Ginny?"

Ginny rolled her eyes, swallowing and hastily setting down her mug when a small amount of liquid threatened to trickle down her windpipe. "Damn," she rasped, caught between a fit of coughing and trying to speak. "Excuse me, this tea is trying to choke me to death. Draco is just fine; I'm surprised that his parents still allow me into their house considering my git of brother. I had to give Ron another dressing down when I found out that he owled Harry."

"I don't know why he sent an owl to Harry," Hermione retorted. "What did he expect to happen? For your Mum to punish you?"

"I haven't the faintest idea," Ginny told her, her lips stretching into a wicked grin as she nudged Luna in the side. "You haven't mentioned Blaise, how is he?"

"Blaise is fine," Luna said wistfully. "He came over last weekend, helped Daddy and I degnome the garden. "

Hermione's head snapped around so fast rapidly that she almost got whiplash. "Blaise? Blaise Zabini that we went to school with?"

"Yeah, even I'm finding that hard to picture," Ginny giggled, nearly dropping her mug.

"Well he did," Luna stubbornly replied, her jaw set firmly. "He didn't even complain when one bit his finger."

"All right, we'll stop taking the mickey at you," Hermione told her. "Say, Ginny, that just gave me an idea. Maybe your parents and Draco's should have a sit-down, you know? A chat to clear the air?"

"Maybe..." she trailed off with a dubious look. "But Mum is not going to Malfoy Manor and I doubt I can get the Malfoys to come to the Burrow."

"What if they all meet in a place that's non-threatening?" Luna suggested, the sulky look now gone from her face.

"Luna has a point," Hermione added. "What about my house? It's innocuous enough, although something tells me I'll end up giving your father a full tour of my house along with an explanation of everything he comes in constant with."

"You know how my dad is," Ginny replied, rolling her eyes. "Fine then, I'll tell Draco to somehow get his parents to come here, and I'll drag Mum and Dad over as well. Thanks, Hermione. By the time we're done, I'm going to owe you my firstborn."

"Firstborn, or blood from a stone will do. I'm not hard to please." Hermione's attention was diverted as Midnight sauntered into the room, Button perched on his back and bobbing up and down from the movement. "I don't get it; if those two can get along, why can't everyone else take the hint?"

"Because they're stupid," Ginny said flatly. "So when are we going to carry out our brilliant collusion?"

Hermione wished she had the excuse of seeing Severus to use, and inwardly balked. "I'm free tomorrow afternoon if that's convenient for you. Maybe you should owl Draco."

"Right," Ginny replied, climbing down from her stool and swiping the little owl from Midnight's back. Giving a double-take to the Muggle pen that Hermione handed her, Ginny quickly scribbled a message to Draco and sent Button off. "Whilst we're on the topic of sorting out our relationships, I really do hope you and Snape patch things up."

"So do I," Hermione replied, resignedly sighing.

Hermione wasn't the only one feeling the keen sting of her abrupt departure from Spinner's End. Severus had been in a downright foul mood ever since he sent his witch home. He even missed her bothersome black kitten stalking about his sitting room and attempting to shred the furniture.

For the majority of his life, Severus had lived with the guilt of being responsible for Lily's death. There was nothing that could make him forget it, no matter how honorable his intentions proved to be later on. When her photograph had fallen from the pages of the book, he had a flashback to the time when she was his only friend, the only one that accepted him, and how he'd made a mess of things. Looking back, he realized that he was young and impressionable, as well as terribly selfish. Lily's death had changed his perspective on many things. At the same time, his double life forced him to live reclusively, even if his surly manner was enough to put others off.

Up until Hermione, Severus had always preferred his solitude. Yet along the way, the tenacious little Gryffindor managed to thaw his icy disposition, and he took unspoken enjoyment with her presence. Her absence was duly noted, and Severus' already bleak surroundings felt more dismal without Hermione nearby.

Severus was still ridden with regret, remembering the way Hermione had walked away from him, obviously trying to remain calm after he told her that he needed time to himself. Despite the forced straight face, the hurt was evident in her brown eyes, and Severus felt lower than the grime that previously inhabited his home. He knew that Hermione didn't deserve his frank dismissal nor his tight-lipped behavior; if anything she was worthy of him sharing the most intimate details of his life, no matter how sordid they may be.

Restlessly turning over in bed, Severus stared up at the cracked ceiling, berating himself for not telling Hermione about Lily. An inkling of how Hermione would have reacted crossed his mind, which was perhaps his reason for omitting the story in the first place.

A multitude of scenarios occurred to him, each less likely than the previous. Severus registered that on some level his behavior was going to prove cataclysmic towards his and Hermione's relationship. He knew that she wasn't Lily; Hermione was quite the opposite in fact. With her optimistic behavior, she had always looked for the best in everyone, even if her reasoning proved faulty in the end. Still, it was a refreshing change from his own pessimistic values.

Severus had always looked for the worst in others, that way he would know just what he was dealing with. More often than not, his hunches were fruitful in the end. If he had learned nothing it was that most people had ulterior motives, and nothing was given freely. Quid pro quo became a way of life.

A product of his upbringing, Severus had been forced to keep his own interests at heart, knowing that he would be the only one to do so. Rest her soul, his mum did her best, trying to protect her child from his hell-raising and rarely sober father. In the end, Severus had to defend himself when his father came home one night, reeking of whiskey and geared up for a fight.

Neighbors that usually turned a deaf ear towards the constant arguing in the Snape household came knocking at the front door, as Tobias' bellowing was loud enough to nearly wake the dead. Severus was at the top landing of their rickety staircase, Tobias holding him against the wall by the throat. Severus was a lanky fifteen-year-old at the time, and no match for his father's strength. He had begun to see spots and was on the verge of passing out when a surge of wandless magic flowed throughout his body, roughly casting Tobias away from him.

Severus, as well as Eileen who had been cowering in a corner, stood and watched silently as the hook-nosed older man toppled down the steps, landing with a sickening thud, his body twisted into a strange angle. His mum was barely coherent when she was later told that her husband was dead from a broken neck. The neighbors were glaringly obvious as they tried to peek into house, attempting to get a glimpse of his father's dead body around the police. As expected, when everything was said and done, not one person dropped by to offer their condolences.

It was a week before the start of term at Hogwarts, and Severus had told Lily about everything that happened. She was the only one that offered him any kind of support at the time, for which Severus was immensely grateful. He was unable to go to his mum, as Eileen had inexplicably grown more vacant after burying her husband.

Lily had always been his only friend, and he needed her most that year. Granted, he socialised with Avery and Mulciber, but they weren't what he would have considered friends. Like him, they too only associated with others only in hopes of gaining something in return. Severus wasn't daft; he knew they merely tolerated his company because of his agile skills with Dark Magic. His fellow Slytherins were always trying to cajole Severus into teaching them spells that he had created, ones that usually had unpleasant repercussions for its victim. Severus knew that Lily abhorred his less-than-savoury pastime, and tried to keep it hidden from her.

It was that same school year that he lashed out in a fit of anger, calling her 'Mudblood', putting an abrupt and hurtful end to their friendship. He apologised, pleaded and begged for her forgiveness, and in the end it hadn't mattered. Watching her go off with the person he detested most was the proverbial straw to break the camel's back.

With Lily no longer speaking to him, Severus decided from that day on that he would never allow another person to get close to him. He found it laughable to fathom that anyone else would willingly take up with him, yet Severus knew that to let his guard down again would only open himself to further disappointment; to himself and to others. His misanthropic proclivities had been the norm from day one, and keeping to himself remained easy enough.

His colleagues were affable enough, most only speaking to him when necessary. Dumbledore, McGonagall, and even Hagrid were the only ones that said more than two words to him. Dumbledore had gone far as to seemingly taunt his successor, calling out from his frame in the headmaster's tower office to offer unsolicited advice, such as what sort of flowers Miss Granger might prefer.

Dumbledore had known that Severus was taken with the young witch from the start, but chose to remain out of sight whenever she visited the tower office. It was only when she left that the white-haired wizard would pop into view, casually mentioning the weather before asking Severus how things were going between the two.

Their conversations would usually end with Severus threatening to turn Dumbledore's portrait around to face the wall, to which the elderly wizard merely chuckled. The headmaster would finally relent, grumbling a single word such as 'fine' to appease Dumbledore, after which he refused to speak any further on the topic. Dumbledore lightly told Severus that he was happy that he'd found someone to erase the scowl from his face, before turning to face Phineas and chat to him from his frame, all the while ignoring the newly deepened frown on the dark-haired wizard's face.

In the beginning, Severus internally battled with his newfound feelings for the decidedly young Potions apprentice. He was leery about the way things were progressing between them, as well as astonished to find that he truly enjoyed and looked forward to her company. The few times his insecurity reared its ugly head, Hermione soundly berated him instead of running in the opposite direction, which was one he secretly expected.

Despite being rife with sentimentality, Hermione remained strong-willed and never let Severus push her around. The young witch turned out to be just as stubborn as he, with a temper that rivaled his- both of which Severus found refreshing as well as amusing. Hermione still had a tendency to become chatty at times, but often knew when to give her babbling a rest.

Severus roughly bunched the pillow beneath his head, still restless and unable to sleep. His bed wasn't the same without Hermione's feet tangled with his and her curls threatening to strangle him. Knowing that he would have no peace until setting things right with Hermione, Severus resolved to do so the next day.
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Broken Dreams