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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
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Direct quotes from Chapters 18 - 19 are in bold and are © J.K. Rowling

Chapter 22: The Return of Padfoot

Lupin was pale this morning. Tonight would be the full moon, and Snape could see it already drawing on Lupin's body. The moon was a harsh mistress for Lupin. Lupin was a strong, agile man until the full moon, when his strength was sapped by the transformation to come and recovering from it. In some ways, Snape enjoyed this time taking care of Lupin, usually so self-sufficient and strong. Snape drew a bath for them to ease Lupin's muscles and joints. It wouldn't be long before he would leave him for the day for his classes until he brought his Wolfsbane and he wanted to make the most of time with him before his transformation. He had got to know that Lupin's transformations were affected by his mood, so he did his best to keep him calm and happy (as much as Lupin's own deteriorating temper on that day would allow).

Snape found he was still very affected by how much joy Lupin had felt when Snape had told him he loved him. He had felt it extremely strongly in Lupin's mind last night. He had only ever seen that statement as making himself vulnerable, not that it could ever delight the recipient. It was all a wonder to him. He washed himself and then Lupin gently as he turned these thoughts over in his head, Lupin leaning back on him, trusting him.

Once dried, Snape went to fetch their clothes. Lupin's clothes now all hung in Snape's wardrobe, next to his. He looked at them crossly and wondered why Lupin had not bought himself better from his stipend at the school. He would never ask or comment. He knew what it felt like to be clothed so poorly. He suspected Lupin saved his money, anxious for when the day came that he would be out of work again because of his curse. He hoped again, Lupin would stay on so his lot would improve in life and he would be confident enough to spend his own earnings. He found the best robe and trousers he could and then retrieved his own. Turning around, he found Lupin had returned to bed.

"Come along, lazy bones. You can't sleep all day," he smiled.

"No intention of sleeping Severus," Lupin returned his smile. "I would like you to come back to bed and make love to me."

Well, here it was. This is what Snape had hoped for. He had not taken Lupin since the Thrall had been broken, except when he had shared Lupin's mind that time. He had not asked and was too concerned he would be rejected if he did. But here Lupin was, waiting for him in bed, asking him.

Trying to contain himself, he put his armful of clothes down on the chair very carefully and moved over to the bed and sat next to Lupin who placed his arms around his waist and his head on his lap looking up at Snape, his face gentle, and wan.

"Are you not too weak? What about your pain?"

"Oh, I think I'd like you to be gentle with me, Severus. What better to deal with pain, than pleasure? Lupin replied softly.

Snape disengaged Lupin from himself and laid him back on the pillows and lay down next to him, and they kissed gently and deeply, letting their hands search and stroke each others' bodies.

All Snape knew this morning as he looked at Lupin's body before him was that he wanted to love every part of Lupin, as he deserved for making him feel so loved.

He sat up next to him, and leaning over started to kiss and stroke him languidly from his feet, to his ankles, taking in his calves and knees, moving on to caress and suckle his thighs, then hip bones, listening to Lupin's soft, encouraging sighs becoming moans as his feelings intensified. His hands caressed Lupin's genitals softly as his mouth played on Lupin's navel and the rest of his stomach, up his chest and across and down his arm to his hand and each of his fingers and moving slowly to match the other side, then trailing his tongue and kisses around all of his neck until back to his face, to kiss him deeply once more and then said, "Turn over."

"I want to see you," Lupin whispered, hoarsely.

"You will. Trust me," Snape said softly.

Lupin turned. Snape started to stroke Lupin's broad back. He admired it as he stroked. He had always had Lupin's back to his chest when he took him before – he had never really had the opportunity to attend to him. He was enjoying his exploration of Lupin's body as much as he could hear Lupin was. He kissed and licked down Lupin's spine as his hands and fingers stroked his skin, making Lupin moan all the more loudly.

He reached Lupin's backside and ran his hands over Lupin's cheeks, slowly pulling them apart so that his tongue could continue its journey down Lupin's spine until it gently circled Lupin's opening. Lupin moaned loudly at the feel of it, almost crying out when Snape then pushed his tongue in. He savoured Lupin's reaction, and repeated the gentlest intrusion slowly, over and over, whilst one of his hands travelled under his own body to lightly stroke his perineum to increase Lupin's delight whilst the other hand ghosted up and down Lupin's spine. Lupin was moaning incessantly and grasping at the pillow beneath his head until he could bear it no more.

"Please, Severus, please. Fill me up," he panted. Snape squeezed his eyes shut. They were very words he yearned to hear Lupin say. He slowed his pace to a gradual halt and then lovingly turned Lupin onto his back.

Snape moved over Lupin's body still slowly, and between his legs, his fingers questing for Lupin's opening. Lupin was more than ready, but Snape wanted to feel him on his fingers too, so played them into Lupin in the way he knew would make Lupin need him more. In and out, he played his fingers, as Lupin's moans turned to cries and he writhed in need under Snape's knowing hand. Snape wanted him so badly his lower body was almost knotted in desire, but he adored watching Lupin writhe under him, watching his face, and listening to him now almost babbling his desire for him, saying Snape's name over and over again, his hands pulling now to bring Snape's body closer.

He lowered himself, and slowly eased himself into Lupin. Oh, it was glorious to feel Lupin's tightness making friction against his cock and to listen to Lupin's rasping cries as he entered him slowly and gradually moved in and out of him slowly, gently and deeply. Lupin was now so in need, he no longer cared for gentleness and thrust against Snape to drive him deeper into himself whilst grasping his own cock and pacing with their thrusts. Snape responded, thrusting harder and deeper now, listening to Lupin's cries as Snape hit Lupin's prostate over again, Snape's own mind now no more than the burning desire of his groin mirrored in his mind. All that mattered to him now was their passion and to hear their cries in unison. They thrust at each other and Lupin raised himself on one elbow and bent his head to the bites that now always had their place on Snape's neck, chest and stomach. He nipped and tongued one on Snape's nipple, being the most powerful, and Snape felt mighty surges hit his groin and his cock hardened painfully making his thrusts deeper, and making Lupin's muscles clench and pulse over his cock, glorious and irresistible, pulling him to his ferocious and unstoppable orgasm as Lupin came too, calling his name, over and over again.

Snape, breathless and hardly focused, lowered himself as gently as he could onto Lupin, and kissed him gently. He whispered that he loved him into Lupin's ear, as if a deeply confidential secret. Lupin kissed him and said, "Severus, my own love," into Snape's hair.

As they lay together, Snape wondered at them once more. They had been in a Thrall, where they had experienced a sexual vortex of the most extraordinary power; they had combined their magics to produce profound mind magic that provided them with such sexual release that either had ever known; and yet, nothing really could compare with their natural love-making – their own passion, their own physical exertions – the truth of who they were and what they meant to each other.

Snape considered himself very lucky to have found a soul mate like Remus Lupin.

The classes all day had been nothing but trying. Many of the children were distracted by the impending execution of the Hippogriff and Snape found his headache had worsened throughout the day quite dramatically and he felt it tugging at the Break more regularly than usual. He had to take more care of it, or there'd be no holiday for him and Lupin.

He saw the arrival of the deputation to execute the Hippogriff. Snape felt for Hagrid: he doted on all of the creatures he tended and this manifest injustice would hit him hard. Trust Malfoy to be a chip off his blasted father. He had no doubt his erstwhile father had greased many palms with many galleons to ensure the creature was put down. Such mindless cruelty, Snape thought, shaking his head. He pinched his nose. His headache really was bad today. He would be able to do his meditation tonight as Lupin would be transformed in his office. First, he had to deliver the Wolfsbane and wish him luck.

He entered Lupin's office with the Wolfsbane, but Lupin wasn't there. He was about to enter his private quarters when he noticed the Marauder's Map on Lupin's desk. It was still revealed. He had a quick look, and what he saw stopped his heart and his breath, and his headache began to pound more loudly, tugging violently at the Break.

Lupin's dot was moving swiftly down the tunnel under the Whomping Willow towards the Shrieking Shack.

But why? Why would he go there? Clearly running – why?

The answer hit him like a bolt between the eyes.

Black.

He's going to meet Black at their old rendezvous! his sly voice screamed at him. His former lover – ha! Still meeting him in the grounds at the full moon.

He turned and ran from the room towards the main doors. He didn't think to transfigure the goblet into a flask, because all thoughts for the welfare of Lupin suddenly vanished as the tug became so powerful that the Dark, malignant rift cleaved open, and the black bile of his untrusting soul erupted from its maw, unrestrained and magnified, to tarnish and rot every loving thought he had ever had of the man, Lupin.

He ran out into the grounds to the Whomping Willow.

He had told Dumbledore – he had known what Lupin was! his mind shouted at him accusingly. If Malfoy hadn't been so idiotic with his curse, Snape would not have been ensnared and would have retained his impartiality. He would not have been fooled.

He found a cloak at the base of the tree. Potter's invisibility cloak. Good. He grabbed it then picked up the broken branch to immobilise the tree and crept through the tunnel, his rationality slowly dissolving in the acid of jealousy, insecurity and obsession, fed by the Darkness of the Break, uttering foul oaths and imprecations against both Lupin and Black as he donned the cloak.

He reached the Shack and crept up the stairs and stood on the landing outside a room where he heard voices. He was right: he could hear Lupin and, yes, yes, it was – it was Black's voice. It may have been hoarse, but Snape would know it anywhere. He'd had nightmares about that voice taunting him for years.

He pushed the door open with his foot and stood to one side. Lupin obviously heard it and came out to check the landing and then returned back in. Snape took in the scene. Black, filthy in Azkaban rags, gaunt, his matted hair grown down to his waist – barely a remnant of the tall pureblood patrician Black had once been. Lupin and Black together. Together, his embittered mind repeated over and over. Potter, Granger and Weasley – how had Lupin and Black managed to lure them here? What Darkness did that creature use to beguile them here? How will Albus explain this, I wonder.

He listened with mounting disgust to Lupin telling the children about his school days and transformations. Why was he bothering with this? Trying to lull them into some kind of false sense of security. He could see Black wanted it all over and done with. That much was clear.

The malignant bile, as black as pitch, had infiltrated his mind fully now, corrupting everything he heard and saw with its Darkness, vexing and torturing his soul.

Lupin carried on. But what was that I just heard? Animagi? All three. That's how Black got into the castle! I understand the trick of it now. So, Potter a stag. The child's Patronus. The werewolf's shock at seeing it at the Quidditch match. And he wouldn't tell me. Now I see, yes, now I see, Lupin. Pettigrew a rat. Black a dog. A dog. A dog. A dog. Oh the travesty of my idiocy not to know what Lupin was. He and Black – running together in the moonlight. Rutting in the moonlight. He lied! Of course, he lied. From the start. About everything. His stomach was roiling and he desperately wanted to vomit, but didn't want to give himself away. His chest, his chest hurt, it burned - his heart hurt.

He heard how the four would run in the Forbidden Forest at the full then he heard Granger:

"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"

"A thought that still haunts me," said Lupin heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness.

Laughed about them. Laughed about the near misses! LAUGHED! Snape's mind roared at him. That foul creature swore on his magic he had not been on it. He swore to me – ON HIS MAGIC! And I believed him. Snape's mind was now so overwrought in the extreme that that his whole world view turned blood red like his resurrected rage and he was overwhelmed with malice.

He listened to the werewolf excusing his abject failure to warn Dumbledore that Black was an animagus, admitting his cowardice as if it would somehow absolve him. Well, he was onto that particular trick of the beast's now.

He listened as Lupin admitted that he, Snape, had been right about him all along. Listened as Black asked what Snape was doing here and Lupin advising him he was teaching here. That they hadn't liked each other very much – HA! Listened as he told those children how he, Snape, had been jealous – JEALOUS! – of James bloody Potter! No understanding at all! Jealous of a Quidditch player – hardly! Hated the pureblood bully more like. No sticking up for me with any of them, like the beast had promised. Of course not. Another lie to ensnare and trap me. The insults he felt were like body blows to him – twisting his guts and feeding his irrationality.

Then the beast told the children – those blasted children of all children – how Black had tricked him into the passage to see Lupin transform and how Potter had pulled him out "at great risk to his life." How dare the beast tell the children that lie? He had no right!

Black. He would have him now. He would have his vengeance on Black and on the werewolf.

Oh, he had been such a fool. A stupid dupe. A needy and pathetic sap thinking he needed anyone in his life. A weak sop to kind words and a pliable, weak-minded john for a expertly whoring werewolf, tricking him to get Black into the castle.

Enamoured of a Dark creature. How was he stupid enough to trust a creature of the Dark? All they could do was lie – foul and duplicitous beasts. Now was the time to make himself known ...

He heard Potter say, "So that's why Snape doesn't like you, because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," Snape sneered from behind Lupin.

Snape was pulling off the Invisibility Cloak, his wand pointing directly at Lupin, his mind now completely demented by his own irrational fears and rage.

"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow," said Snape, throwing the cloak aside, careful to keep this wand pointing directly at Lupin's chest.

"Very useful, Potter, I thank you…" Snape was slightly breathless. "You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here?" he said, his eyes glittering. "I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did… lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know. I saw you running along this passageway and out of sight."

"Severus —" Lupin began, but Snape overrode him. Snape knew it was imperative that Lupin not speak. He must never let the beast speak to him again – it would all be lies and Snape himself could no longer distinguish truth from lie - best not allow the beast to speak.

"I've told the headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin, and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout —"

"Severus, you're making a mistake," said Lupin urgently. "You haven't heard everything — I can explain — Sirius is not here to kill Harry —" Whatever the beast said now would just be more lies to cover for himself and Black. No, he would not listen.

"Two more for Azkaban tonight," said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically his reason utterly lost in the Dark malignancy of his fractured mind. "I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this… He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin… a tame werewolf —"

"You fool," said Lupin softly. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

Fool I've been indeed, Snape's mind yelled at him. Well, no more, beast!

In that instant Snape's eyes met Lupin's, and Snape slashed jaggedly into Lupin's mind and carved his hatred savagely into it:

You are a loathsome, foul, duplicitous beast. How did I ever let such a putrid, dirty animal touch me, let alone mark me? You are no better than a whore to allow me to break you and to service me so you can help your bitch Black. No more! I will feed you to the Dementors, half-breed, sub-human filth. He heard Lupin's mind scream at the pain of the carving; a carving that would be indelible; piercing pain that would never dull, and would sear like vitriol.

And in that same instant -

BANG!

Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape's wand and twisted themselves around Lupin's mouth, wrists, and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move.

Black roared at him but Snape pointed his wand straight between Black's eyes.

"Give me a reason," he whispered. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will." It would only have taken one word at that point, as Snape veered between heart break and righteous rage and had little reason left to judge which was the true emotion that he felt.

"Professor Snape — it wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w-would it?" he heard Granger ask.

"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from this school," Snape spat. "You, Potter, and Weasley are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue."

"But if — if there was a mistake —"

"KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" Snape shouted. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" His head hurt – it hurt so badly. His heart hurt – it was broken. He had to keep strong – keep focused on what mattered: getting Black to the Dementors – to pay – he needed to pay. The pain would go if Black paid.

A few sparks shot out of the end of his wand, which was still pointed at Black's face.

"Vengeance is very sweet," Snape breathed at Black. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you…"

"The joke's on you again, Severus," Black snarled. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle. I'll come quietly…"

"Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black… pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay…" That pleased him very well. Why should he do anything that Black wanted. Yes, look at the colour leave his filthy face.

"You — you've got to hear me out," he croaked. "The rat — look at the rat —" Beg me, it will make no difference. Snape was now quite beyond reason.

"Come on, all of you," he said. He clicked his fingers, and the ends of the cords that bound Lupin flew to his hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too —"

He glared malevolently at the man who, just this morning, had been the most precious and prized thing in his life. Does he even have soul, this beast? he thought madly to himself.

Potter then crossed the room in three strides and blocked the door.

"Get out of the way, Potter, you're in enough trouble already," snarled Snape. "If I hadn't been here to save your skin —"

"Professor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year," Potter said. "I've been alone with him loads of times, having defence lessons against the Dementors. If he was helping Black, why didn't he just finish me off then?"

"Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works," hissed Snape. "Get out of the way, Potter."

"YOU'RE PATHETIC!" the brat yelled. "JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN —"

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape shrieked. He was fast becoming completely unhinged. His heart was hurting, but he knew – he just knew – that everything the beast had told him was lies and he had to remain strong – he mustn't listen to his heart – his heart only hurt him in the end.

It always did.

"Like father, like son, Potter! I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee! You would have been well served if he'd killed you! You'd have died like your father, too arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black — now get out of the way or I will make you. GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!"

Bursts of light from three directions. Blackness once more.

Snape came to, uncomfortably sprawled across the grass just out of reach of the Whomping Willow. He was groggy and had grazes across his forehead, but couldn't recall how these had happened. Potter had hexed him, he was sure, but as to how he had got here, he had no idea.

He got to his feet shakily. Weasley was unconscious next to him, his leg very badly bitten. Black had done that in his animagus form. Where were they all?

Snape looked about him, but could see no-one else, but his eyes fell on Lupin's ripped and torn clothes just a few feet away. The beast had transformed and without his final dose of Wolfsbane! He looked about himself quickly again and then heard the werewolf howl in the distance in the Forbidden Forest. He looked down again and saw both his and Lupin's wands within a few feet of each other. He picked up his own and then put Lupin's in his robe. I dare say they'll wish to snap that in two before the Wizangamot, he thought darkly to himself with a small, malicious smile, fingering the stave that marked the wizard, not the wolf, of Lupin. Not for much longer.

He went back to check on Weasley. He saw his bitten leg had been put in a splint already, so he cast a cleansing charm on the wound and conjured a stretcher for him. Then he noticed the desperate chill in the air. Looking around he saw droves of Dementors hovering over the lake. Black? Possibly. But where were Potter and Granger? He had to find them too. As he went to move to the lake, his wand outstretched before him, he saw the droves of Dementors begin to leave the lake and take to the skies above. Levitating Weasley, he reached the lakeside and found Black, Potter and Granger, all passed out. What could have happened, he did not know, but he had them all now. He conjured stretchers for the three of them and bound and gagged Black, with gleeful malice.

He would deal with the beast in the morning but for now he had Black.

Black – Lily's murderer and his own tormentor - was in his hands at last – at last, his mind thought in something like catharsis as he took them all to the castle.
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You Will Not Kiss Me