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Snape's Story	By : tbird1965 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 33390 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 9
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. Complete. Het, solo, oral.

Chapter List
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Severus woke with a throbbing head, sour stomach and an aching bladder. His head felt thick and fuzzy and his limbs felt like they were made of stone. He wanted nothing more then to just lie there, in the dark, not moving, but the pressure in his bladder made that an impossibility. Summing every ounce of strength, he forced himself out of bed. Swaying unsteadily, his stomach lurched as he made his way across his bedroom floor to the loo. Flicking on the light, he blinked as a bolt of pain shot through his brain. He sighed in relief as he let loose a hot stream of urine. Closing his eyes, he tried to force away the fuzzy, cloudy feeling in his head. As he leaned forward to flush the commode, he stared in confusion at his ripped and torn shower curtain. Looking up he saw that it hanging by only one hook, the rest were empty or contained bits of torn plastic. He stared into the bath and saw that it was filled with wet towels and clothing. He recognized his trousers from the night before and what was that? A pink jumper? Sniffing, the pungent smell of vomit filled his nose and made his stomach churn. He turned and saw another pile of soiled towels shoved into a corner. His wet shirt and what appeared to be a gray skirt lay on the floor beside them. 'What the bloody hell happened?' He wondered. Stepping to the sink, his toe kicked a woman's flat across the floor. The bathroom sink was filled with empty potion bottles. Picking one up, he saw that it was one of Dreamless Sleep potions that Lucius had brought him. The cabinet was open and empty of all the vials Lucius had so graciously provided. Bits and pieces of the past night began to form in his foggy mind. He remembered flipping off lid after lid off of Dreamless Sleep and calming potions. Washing those down with Old Ogden's finest. Everything went black after that. He glance up in the mirror at a soft noise behind him.

She stepped into the soft light of the open doorway, her eyes meeting his in the mirror. She was wearing a black t shirt and he could see the black line of boxer briefs peeking out from below the hem. Her hair stuck up on the side and as he watched, she rubbed her eyes sleepily.

“Are those mine?” He asked, his voice sounded raspy.

She nodded her head slowly, glancing down at herself. “My clothes were................wet.”

“We took a shower together?”

“A cold one.”

“Mmmm.” He grunted. “And you undressed me?” He glanced down and realized for the first time since he'd left the bed that he was naked.

She nodded her head slowly.

His eyes scanned the bathroom counter. Picking up a large glass, he sniffed the contents, recoiling at the smell. He looked up into the mirror and met her eyes again, his eye quirked in an unspoken question.

“Yellow mustard and salt.” She said, lowering her eyes from his gaze. “I had to make you vomit.”

“Well that explains why my mouth tastes like a troll used it for a loo.” He sighed wearily, reaching for his tooth brush and toothpaste. “You didn't have a potion you could have used?”

“At the bottom of my magically expanded bag. I couldn't retrieve them without magic and time was of the essence. When your breathing and heartbeat had stabilized, I went outside and got them. You've had both a bezoar and a neutralizing potion. How does your stomach feel?”

“Questionable.” He said spitting into the sink and taking a mouthful of water. “How did you know to use that?”

“When I was a little girl our dog, Pepper, ate a bunch of chocolate. It's what the Veterinarian told us to use.”

“Hmmm.” He grunted again, leaning heavily against the sink.

“You're still a bit weak, aren't you?”

He glanced up and nodded his head.

“Well come on.” She stepped forward to take his arm. “Lets get you back to bed.”

“I can walk.” He pulled his arm away from her and walked slowly to the bed, crawling in, he pulled the covers up to his chest.

“I have some water if you think your stomach can handle it.”

“No.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I just want to sleep.”

“Well drink this at least.” He opened his eyes and she handed him a vial. “It's another neutralizing potion with something added to settle your stomach.”

He flicked off the lid and drank down the contents, holding up the empty vial for her to take. He turned his head and watched wordlessly as she climbed into the other side of the bed and lay her head on the pillow. “Do you want to kill yourself Severus?” She whispered hoarsely.

He sighed heavily and turned his head to stare up at that ceiling. “What difference does it really make, Hermione? Whether I want to kill myself or not is no longer relevant as it is obvious I have failed. For something as relatively simple as dying, I seem to be woefully inept at it. This is three times now I've tried and failed.”

“So you want to die?”

He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I don't want to think anymore. Just let me sleep.” He said, cutting her off when she opened her mouth to speak again. “I just want to sleep.”

~~~~****~~~~****~~~~

When he woke again later, the sun was streaming through the windows. Running his head down his face he turned his head. “You're still here.” He whispered to the woman lying next to him.

“I didn't want you to be alone.” She whispered.

“You poured out all of the potions that Lucius brought yesterday.”

“I know.” She said lowering her eyes and flushing crimson. “I just......maybe I didn't want to be alone either. Is that okay?” She looked up and met his eyes.

“Of course.” He whispered softly. “I need to get up for a moment.” He said frowning up at the ceiling, his face coloring pink. “And you may want to avert your eyes.”

“Why?” She laughed. “I've already seen everything you've got. I undressed you, remember?”

“Ahhh. Yes. Well......” He lifted the covers and peered beneath them. “There's a bit more of me at the moment.”

She wrinkled her nose in confusion “Oh? Ohhhhhhh.....” She flushed crimson as understanding dawned on her. “Okay. Why don't I go downstairs and fix you some tea and something to eat. Do you think you can eat?”

“I can try.”

“Okay.” She said, climbing from the bed. “I'll be right back.”

He waited until he heard her footsteps on the stairs before slowly rising from the bed. He still felt weak, but he was far less shaky then before. Stepping into the bathroom, he looked around in surprise. A new striped shower curtain hung from the rod, the floor gleamed and fresh clean towels hung from the rack. 'How long was I asleep?' He wondered as he used the loo. When he was finished, he reached into the shower and turned on the water. He stepped inside and let the hot water wash away the remaining cobwebs from his brain.

“Feeling better?” She asked when he came out of the bathroom, a towel draped around his hips.

“A bit.” He surveyed the tray of food she had placed on the bed. Chicken, gravy, mashed. “Where did this come from?” He asked. “I know I didn't have anything like this here. And you cleaned the bathroom. How long was I asleep?”

“About 9 hours.” She said, passing him a plate and a fork. “I thought this would be gentle on your stomach.”

“It's good.” He said, taking a bite of potatoes. “I didn't realize how hungry I was. You did all this by yourself, without magic.”

“Well no.” She stared down at her plate. “I had a little help. I hope you don't mind, but I called Luna to come over and help me.”

“Luna Lovegood? From Ravenclaw? And she was willing to help you clean up that mess without magic.”

“She has experience with that type of thing.” Hermione said, taking a bite of chicken and avoiding his gaze.

“Experience. What kind of experience?”

She pushed her potatoes around her plate with her fork. “Well I don't know if you know this or not, but Luna and George Weasley have been living together for the past year or so. After the war, losing Fred, George had a bit of trouble with alcohol and potions. He's better now. He's been going to AA for over 6 months now. But it was hard, for them both, in the beginning. Are you full?” She looked up and saw that he was just staring down at his plate, lost in thought.

“What?” He looked up at her blankly. “Oh yes. Thank you. That was wonderful.”

“Feeling better?” She asked, taking the dishes and setting then on the dresser.

“A bit.” He yawned loudly. “It certainly doesn't feel like I was asleep 9 hours. I'm knackered.”

“Well lay back down.” She said, pulling back the covers and crawling into the other side of the bed.

He watched her carefully before pulling back his own side and lowering himself against the pillows. Pulling the covers up to his chest he turned his head and stared at her, his face sad. “I really am sorry. For what I did. I just wanted...........I thought........I.......oh Merlin's balls.” He sighed, running his hand down his face. “I don't know what I was thinking.”

“I know.” She whispered, her eyes crawling over his face. “I over reacted. It was just so strange thinking that you.....with my.....it's just so..........” Her voice trailed off helplessly. “Can I ask you something?”

He nodded his head solemnly.

“Why me? I mean if it's not transference then why?”

“I don't know.” He whispered hoarsely. “It started in St. Mungo's. When I couldn't move or speak. There was this dream. And I kept having it over and over again.”

“About me? Tell me.”

He closed his eyes. “It starts out in the Shrieking Shack. I'm facing the Dark Lord and I know I'm going to die, I'm ready to die. Nagini attacks me and it doesn't hurt as bad as I feared it would. I'm drifting away and then you're there, begging me, calling me, pleading with me to come back, to stay with you. Then I'm choking. My mouth and my throat are filled with something bitter and salty. It's thick and I try to swallow. Then it changes and I'm lying in a field. I'm..........” He opened his eyes to stare at her before continuing. “I'm naked and at first I think I'm with Mary, then Lily, but it's you and I know it's wrong. I shouldn't be with you like that, but he feels so good and so right and......................it feels like nothing I've ever felt before.” He waits, his eyes searching her face for her reaction.

“Oh Severus. I have to tell you something.” She sighed. “Something important, a confession of sorts........I guess.”
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