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Hidden in Plain Sight	By : Katay Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Lucius/Hermione Views: 17098 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 23: What�s a Girl to Do?

November
2002, The Manor�s Greenhouse

�Mimi, Unca Luc haf a ke-kestun for you.�

�And what�s that sweetums?�

�Wiwl you mawwy him?�

*Thump*

**

Hermione opened her eyes slowly,
hoping perhaps that it would be night and she might have simply slept the
afternoon away. Damn. Two curious
faces peered down at her �or was it one? One. Right. Ok� easy does it. And
cue the eager little four-year old.

�Mimi! Gettt
up!� he said in that exasperating, but adorably cute, tone of voice.

�Just a minute, little one, Mimi�s a
bit bamboozled.� She heard the little one toddle just a few meters away on the
gravely path and then stop.

�Mimi says she�s bam
.. bamb � bambloobled,� the word came tumbling out of the earnest
little Teddy Lupin�s mouth, and both Lucius and
Hermione had to fight not to laugh.

�Well, perhaps Teddy, my man, we
shall have to un � �blooble�
her.�

Hermione heard two sets of footsteps
coming back to her position on the ground and then she was looking up into the
face of her beloved Teddy as well as that of Lucius Malfoy.

�Hello, my
dear,� drawled Lucius Malfoy in an amused sort of voice. Hermione wasn�t sure
whether she should be relieved that he wasn�t hurt by her fainting or hurt that
he was laughing at her.

�Fancy
meeting you here, Lucius.�

He was
chuckling now. �Yes, indeed.� He turned to Teddy and winked, �Now Ted, what was
that question we had for Mimi?�

Teddy
looked pensieve for a moment and then brightened like
a Christmas tree, �Oh! Mimi, wiwl
you mawwy Unca Luc?�

He looked so hopeful that Hermione
hated to say anything but �yes.� However, she knew that the time had come to
actually talk seriously with Lucius.� She sat up slowly, Lucius helping to
support her back and she pulled Teddy close. She looked him straight in the eye
and asked softly, �Teddy, Mimi wants to think about it. But are you sure that
it�s what you would be happy with too?� She ignored the stiff Lucius behind her
and focused all of her attention on the little boy that had become her world in
three short years.

Teddy nodded fervently and said
sweetly, �Teddy loves Unca Luc! An� Unca Luc make Mimi happy! Happy
Mimi make Teddy happy, and happy Teddy make everyone
happy!�

Hermione
pulled the little boy close and looked over her shoulder at Lucius who was blinking
softly. She mouthed with a soft grin, �Out of the mouth of babes.�

He smiled
and pulled the little boy gently out of Hermione�s arms. �Teddy,
why don�t you go run into the house and see what Grimsby is baking for you?�

Teddy
giggled and clapped his hands, trotting off immediately to go find the poor
house elf.

Hermione
shook her head, �I swear, you are going to have to pay
that house elf more if you�re going to keep shuffling Teddy off on him.� She
scooted in an attempt to regain her feet, but found that her legs were rather
unsteady.

Lucius
grinned, �So that means you aren�t going to move out immediately?� He lifted
her up into his arms and then carried her over to the closest bench, sitting
down with her on his lap.

She shifted
and then stiffened, glaring at him. He smirked sneakily at her and pinned her
arms to her side. �You said you wanted to talk, Miss Granger. So let�s talk.�

She rolled
her eyes. �I � Lucius, it was just a bit of a surprise is all. We haven�t
really talked about anything like that! Even when you asked me to move in, it
wasn�t any real in depth decision � it just made sense so we did it.�

He nodded, �Yes, and marriage seems
like the logical next step, don�t you think?�

She paused, �Well � for normal
people, yes.�

He arched a brow. �And we aren�t
normal?� He asked drolly.

She shook her head fervently. �No!�
She paused, �Well, I mean � no one knows about us! Normally that would be a
logical step.�

He sighed, �Yes, but I�ll admit that
was a bit of a reason I asked you. If they find out and we�re already married,
there is very little that they can do.�

Hermione smiled sadly and shook her
head, �There isn�t much that they could do even if we weren�t married.� She
sighed and looked up at the sky. �I�m sorry my friends are making this so
difficult. I just � I don�t know how to break it to them.� She lay her forehead on his broad shoulder, tired of the weight
her thoughts carried. �You just, I know you understand, but it was your house
where your friends tried to kill all of us. Your ex-sister-in-law is the reason
Harry�s closest people to parent�s aren�t alive and
your son betrayed the entirety of Hogwarts.�

Lucius made to put her off of his
lap and she stilled his movements while taking a breath, �However that does not
mean that you haven�t changed. It doesn�t mean that you and Draco do not regret
some actions and it doesn�t mean in any way that I do not understand why you
did exactly what you did. I know that I am responsible for many others� misery
today and I fight with that every day.�

She put a finger over his opening
lips, �I just � I know if I can get over it, eventually they can too. But I
don�t know if they will want to get
over it. Why bother making the effort if I�m expendable as it is?� She blinked
back tears. �I really don�t want to find out that I�m expendable.�

Lucius blinked at this rather
unexpected revelation and stilled his earlier retorts that had risen. Instead
he watched the witch he had come to rely upon in some form or another try and
pull herself together. He debated what to say, and then decided that perhaps a
form of truth would be the best. �You aren�t expendable. Why do you think I
want to marry you, silly woman? The thought of you taking Teddy and going back
to Andy�s home without me is something I avoid contemplating.�

He paused as though it was painful
to share the feelings, and Hermione had to wonder if perhaps it was, in its own
way. �Hermione, we�ve both come a long way from where we started out. The
people we�ve developed into over the past years are distinctly different than
the people we were when we first met in that bookstore.� He looked into her
eyes, �And I have no clue why you�ve stayed with an old man like me, but I have
to think that if you�ve put up with me for three years, maybe you could put up
with me for longer?�

Her eyes softened and she cupped his
cheek with her palm, touched that the normally reserved man was willing to let
go a little of his pride to help her understand better. �Lucius, you are hardly
old, and as we�ve discussed many times, I�m hardly interested in meek little
boys still wet behind their ears. I�ll admit that I�m worried about the
reaction of your associates and even more of your son.� She nodded at the pain
in his eyes at the mention of Draco, �I know you two are estranged and I don�t
want to add any fuel to that fire.�

Lucius sighed, �Honestly, I don�t
know if things will ever change, but you would hardly be fuel. That fire was
ignited long before he even went to Hogwarts. Perhaps that�s why I�m so
desperate to keep Teddy here.� He placed a hand over hers on his cheek, �You
both are my salvation, my proof that I�m not a horrible old man.�

She chuckled, �Oh, I�m sure some of
your coworkers would agree that you are, but I�ve never found that to be true.�
She sighed and leaned against him, wondering if his legs were asleep yet under
her weight. �So, were those the only reasons you wanted to marry me?�

Lucius chuckled, �Well, I�ll admit
the idea of unrestricted sex is appealing and the fact that I could claim you
as mine to anyone who cared to contest me is motivating.�

Hermione shook her head and mumbled
something that sounded very similar to, �Men!�

Lucius smirked, but his tone turned
slightly serious, �I will also admit that I wanted your reputation to be
protected should anything happen.�

Hermione looked up at him sharply
and he found himself lost when her eyes teamed with tears. She stood quickly
and paced for a few minutes mumbling softly.

**

Lucius was slightly perplexed as he
watched the woman he awaited to become his fianc�e pace like a madwoman. He
went over his words syllable by syllable searching for some slip he might have
made, but unerringly came up with nothing; which led him to the assumption that
she had clearly kept something from him, and he would simply have to wait it
out � so he waited.

Hermione knew she had to face the
music as it were. It was time. But oh
god, why does there have to be a time?!�
She paused in her pacing and took a few deep breaths, then turned and
faced Lucius.

�About that �anything happening�
thing � it won�t,� she stated softly, letting the words float in the crisp air,
awaiting his reaction.

Lucius kept his face still, even
while his thoughts began to whirl. �I�m afraid you�ll have to expound upon that
statement, my dear. I don't quite understand.�

She sighed and moved to sit on the
bench beside him, bowing her head and looking at the ground. �It started that
night at the Ministry, I�m sure you remember?� She didn�t wait for a response
but could feel him stiffen at the mention of that horrible night. �It was Dolohov, he sent off some sort of curse before we could
take him down. It hit me right in the abdomen, you�ve seen the scar.�

He nodded but said nothing, letting
her continue with the story.

�Well, Madame Pomfrey
healed it, or we thought she did. During the years that followed I obviously
didn�t have much downtime and apparently took on a few other Dark curses during
the final battle. A few months after the end of things, I started getting
severe body tremors and migraines, my limbs would collapse and I had no idea
why. They generally happened when no one was watching, but George Weasley saw
one episode, although he thought I was merely drunk off my arse.�

Lucius snorted at the absurd idea,
considering anyone who had been drinking with Hermione would know she had the
ability to drink an Irishman under the table � heaven forbid she not have
control of any aspect of her life.

She twiddled her fingers for a
moment, but continued. �I went into St. Mungo�s and
they started doing tests on me to figure out what was wrong. I kept it from
Harry and Ron, I think that was the beginning of the
end for us, truthfully. I didn�t want to burden them with yet another thing.
They were both beginning to rebuild and recover; it didn�t seem fair to pull
them down with me.� She sighed and Lucius fought the urge to comment.

Hermione felt the thoughts hammering
at her forehead, anxious to spill themselves as she fought to control her
emotions. �I found out during one of my exams that Lavender was pregnant. About
two years later and a hell of a lot of visits later, I found out I could never
be. Dolohov�s curse essentially crippled my womb and
mangled the tubes. Unfortunately that was only one effect; it also caused a lot
of nerve damage and muscle damage, ultimately affecting my lower bones. The
cartilage is depleting at an accelerated rate - it�s a bit like the Muggle disease, arthritis, but not quite. The Healers can�t
fix it, but they�ve slowed it some. However, they still only give me until I�m
about 60 to be up and about. Around there I�ll need to be put in a wheelchair,
because my joints with have deteriorated and my pain levels will be severely
high. �

She looked over at his stunned face,
�I didn�t tell you at first because we weren�t that serious, and then I was
scared that you would reject me. I wanted you to be with me for whom I was
without the disease. And when we moved in together, I comforted myself saying
that once it got too bad, I could leave and not be a burden to you.�

She took a deep breathe and then let
the words spill. �But now you�ve asked me to marry you, and the only thing I
want to do is accept, but you needed to know that I could never give you
another child � that�s why I latched onto Teddy as much as I did. But I can
never have a baby of my own; I can never be a full wife to you, Luc.� She
didn�t turn her head away, forcing herself to memorize his shocked face and
hurt eyes.

He turned his head slightly towards
her, �I�m trying to process what you�ve given me, but do you think I could have
an hour or two to do so? This is by no means a retraction of the offer; I just
need time to think.� He sounded like he was in shock, he knew, but he couldn�t
seem to make his voice lose that monotonic sound.

She nodded, tears blurring her eyes,
but knowing that she should give him the same consideration he�d given her.

He nodded stiffly and headed inside,
while she remained on the bench outside, head bowed and tiny tears dropping
into the gravel walkway.

**

Lucius sat at his desk in shock.
She�d kept something this major from him for that long?! She was barren. Barren, because � essentially- of him.
One of the most wonderful mother�s would never be able to have children of her
own. How cruel was that irony? Her broken eyes when he first took interest in her
suddenly made sense, the sense that her world had been slowly crumbling was
finally confirmed years later.

Was she perhaps simply a closeter �
placing things like their relationship, her disease, or any unpleasantness in the closet until she absolutely couldn�t
ignore it anymore? It made no sense, she hated beating around the bush in any
aspect, but perhaps, he mused, it�s the things that don�t have an answer
she doesn�t want to think about.

She couldn�t help that Dolohov - Lucius couldn�t believe he�d ever considered
himself a colleague of the man � had taken away her option to have children,
she couldn't help that she�d fallen in love with the Malfoy patriarch � both
things that had no solution, and were completely incompatible with her
formative years.

Lucius hung his head, and truly
realized the full extent of his actions in the previous years. For a man who
had already been forced to change who he was, his morals, and be remorseful for
actions he had taken responsibility for � the trial was ironically new. He had
finally encountered one of his victims in the flesh, and he was in love with
her. He couldn�t see how she was able to look at him every day, knowing that he
had led the raid that ultimately took her dreams away.

Having never really known her before
she found she couldn�t have children, he couldn�t say how important it had
been, but he could tell by the desolation in her eyes that she felt the loss
every day of her life.

He stood and paced around the study,
trying to overcome the guilt crashing down around him, the hurt that she hadn�t
told him, and the small pain that came from knowing he would never have a child
with her.

He paused and glanced at the
sentence written above, how many times
did �him� just appear in that sentence?�
He stood up quickly and rushed out of the study.

**

Hermione had hidden herself away in
her library, a lovely room of mint greens, soft blues, and buttery yellows that
soothed the soul and took one away from the often dreary days of English
weather. She was curled on a comfortable white chaise lounge, the twin of the
one in her dressing room, and held her Hogwarts,
a History close to her chest, drawing from it the comfort of an old friend
that has seen many tears of sadness and happiness. She wasn�t sure how Lucius
would take what she had told him. They had never really mentioned children
outside of the perfunctory questions about whether she had taken her potion or
not.

She heard the door creak open and
lifted her tear-stained eyes towards the mahogany wood doorway where Lucius
stood watching her. She laid the book aside and swung her legs so that her feet
could touch the floor. Lucius waved a hand to still her movements and walked to
her. He stood in front of her, face unmoving, jaw flexed.

�I regret that you felt the need to
hide something this big from me, but if you seriously think that�s going to
stop me from wanting to marry you, you�re mad as a March hare.�

Hermione looked at him, stunned.

He sat next to her and looked out
unseeingly, �I�ve overcome a lifelong hatred, prejudices, and preconceived
ideas that have led me to being with you. Did you really think that a thing
like an incurable illness and an absence of more annoying children would really
stop me from keeping you to myself? Hardly, my dear.�

Hermione was speechless. She could
tell he was fighting some unnamed emotion and knew he probably wasn�t saying
everything he thought, but sometimes secrets are meant to be kept until they
can be better handled. She turned to him and took his cheek in her hand, �Then,
Lucius Malfoy, yes, yes I will marry you.�

He looked her in the eyes, nodded
sharply and then tumbled her backwards onto the chaise lounge with a very
passionate snog.

Because what else could you call
something that joyful and uncalculated?
- 22
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