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Survivor's Guilt	By : SpeedyTomato Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Lucius Views: 34080 -:- Recommendations : 3 -:- Currently Reading : 4
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor do I make any money of this dark dance of Harry Potter fanfic.

Chapter List
- 22
- 23
- 24
Chapter 23

Beta'd by the amazing Tenchi. Thanks, Tenchi, you're the best!

“Is Harry still losing his temper with everyone or is he getting better?” Molly asked what remained of the group that had been at the Burrow for a meeting. Looking around the table, seeing mostly just family with Andromeda and Minerva left, she added, “I know he was still prickly last time we went over to see him.”
“He's not,” Charlie told her, shaking his head. “I've been over there a few times in the last couple weeks with Dudley and he seems to be doing much better. In fact, yesterday he was laughing at something Lucius said. Not sure what that was about, honestly, but he was. Both he and Lucius were having a good chuckle over whatever it was. He's not the same as he was, that's for sure, but he's getting better.”
“That's good,” Arthur said with a nod. “For a while there, it was bad. Then came the temper. If he's moving beyond that, it can only mean he's getting better.”
“I checked with a couple people I know and they said the whole temper part is actually a very good sign,” Hermione told them with a nod. Sighing, she looked down then added, quietly, “Some of what he said to us bothers me, I'll admit that. I think, in this case, that it was probably things Harry does feel, but wouldn't normally say aloud. It just came out because of what he is dealing with.”
“Or it's Malfoy pushing him there,” Ron muttered darkly, slouching in his chair and folding his arms over his chest.
“No, I don't think so,” Charlie said, shaking his head. “Dudley really likes Lucius and Draco, that's clear. With him being a Muggle, if there was something off, they would show it around him. He swears it's nothing more than what everyone has seen. I believe him.”
“In this case, I think it's just how it seems,” Arthur said, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table. “It's been months now and nothing odd is showing up. I think many of us just want someone to blame for this and Lucius is a convenient target. The same with Draco.”
“Dad's right,” Charlie nodded, leaning back and crossing his legs. “Harry told me when we were alone the other day for a few minutes that both have been good with him. He even said Draco has helped him quite a bit with things like finding the right potion combination to help him gain weight. Though he admitted there was still a slightly strained relationship with Draco over some of what went on in the past, he's not having a problem with most of it and doesn't mind having him around.”
Liking what she was hearing, Molly nodded. Smiling slightly, she asked, quietly, “How is it going with Dudley?” She knew they had started going out several weeks ago, but he had been fairly close-mouthed about anything beyond that. Charlie was just that way about this end of things because of his attraction to men, though none of the family had a problem with it.
Grinning a little, Charlie said, “I like Dudley. He's a right riot and fun to be around. I know Harry said he wasn't like this in the past when they were growing up, but I like him the way he is.”
“He's right, Dudley wasn't. He was a right git,” Ron told him with a nod.
“Like most everyone that grows up, Dudley's changed. For the better,” Hermione said, smiling a little. “You're right though; he's very nice now. Harry loves the relationship they have.”
“Not sure where it's going, I'll be honest about that, but I like it,” Charlie admitted, grinning just a little bit.
“We're glad you found someone you like being with,” Molly told him, smiling.
Looking at his watch, Charlie stood, “Speaking of that; I have to get home to change. We're going out to do something tonight.” Nodding to everyone, he took off, looking forward to the plans they had.
Watching him go, Molly smiled. She was pleased with this. Looking around, she asked, changing topics, “Alright, what's everyone's opinion? Do we have a chance to get the laws changed?”
Having been listening in, Minerva said, firmly, “I think we do. It's going to be close, I admit that, but this time we have a chance. I'm still leaning on some people and trying to get others to help, but we have many listening. I've had several contact me privately to talk about family members with similar problems. The only issue with some of it I'm seeing is that many are leery of talking because of how this is seen. They don't want to open themselves up to ridicule if the law doesn't get passed. I'm trying to work with it the best I can, but it's still tough. I've also managed to contact a few others I know on the continent that specialize in this area. They are more than willing to come in and start leaning on the press to be accurate about the facts, with plenty of research to back it up.”
“Good,” Arthur nodded. “The more the better in this case.”
Sighing, Andromeda said, “It's so close though. That's what I'm worried about. We have a better chance this time, no doubt, but it can go one way or another. I just don't know what to drop in here to give us the advantage we need.” Lowering her voice, she said, “Other than bringing Harry into it. He's the only name I know that might carry enough clout to ensure it swings the way we want it.”
“No, we will not involve Harry,” Molly said with a firm shake of her head. “He's suffering enough. The last thing in the world he needs is to be drawn into this then have the press take after him once more. He's just getting back on his feet a little. Let him heal and keep him out of it.”
“I agree,” Minerva nodded. “However, has anyone thought of contacting his Mind Healer to see if he can help? I keep hearing the one he's seeing is about the best we have in this country. Maybe the man can help. I don't mean in drawing Harry in, but give us some idea of what to do or where to look to push this.”
“I didn't think about that, but it might be a good idea,” Arthur told her with a nod. “Let me see if I can get in touch with the man and talk to him. I know Lucius has said that he likes the proposal. Maybe getting him involved might help. We'll see. If nothing else, he might be able to point us in a good direction to get something that can aid us in pushing it further.” Picking up his quill, he made a note on the parchment he had been using for that when everyone was here before.
“I think we just need to keep the pressure on as the Prophet continues with the series it's doing. That can only help as what we're trying to do so relates to that awful time.” Minerva said, finishing off her tea. “The more we throw it in everyone's faces, the more they are going to associate those names with what happened a decade ago. That's good and what we need.”
Hearing general agreement about that, Arthur made a note of that as well then asked for suggestions on how to do it, pleased with what he was hearing.

Walking into the foyer of Malfoy Manor, Draco smiled when he saw his father standing there, looking smug. Chuckling, he asked, “Should I be frightened at whatever you're planning?”
“Not at all,” Lucius said smoothly, lifting his chin. “The nanny is here with Scorpius, is she not?”
“As always, father,” Draco nodded.
“Good! Get Astoria and your broom. The two of you are coming with me,” Lucius said, smirking.
“What?” Draco asked, eyebrow lifting. “Just what do you have in mind, father?”
“I'm not telling you, but you'll enjoy it. It'll just be for a few hours, but it's something fun,” Lucius imparted cryptically.
Giving an amused snort, Draco shook his head, but was going to give his father the benefit of the doubt. “Give me a couple minutes,” he said then went to find his broom and his wife.
Returning with a bewildered Astoria and his broom, Draco said, “Alright. We're ready.”
Looking at her father-in-law, Astoria asked, “What is going on, Lucius? I'm not a big fan of flying.”
“You trust your husband, do you not?” Lucius asked, smirking.
“Of course!” Astoria told him, still confused, looking between the two men.
“That's all you need to do,” Lucius imparted. “You'll enjoy yourself, you have my word on it.” Motioning them forward, he said, “I'll Apparate you there. Let's go.”
Seeing a confused look on his wife's face, Draco shrugged, but grinned then stepped forward. As his father had been right about so much, even though some of it was strange, he was willing to go with it. Grabbing his father's arm, he waited for his wife to do the same. They were then whisked away when Astoria took hold.
Looking up at the old stadium, one he remembered well, when they landed, he asked, “What are we doing here?”

“Going to have some fun,” Lucius told him with an amused snort. Motioning them to follow, he led them into the entrance then to the field where Harry, Dudley and Charlie were waiting. Quickly, he introduced Astoria to those assembled then looked at the other men, smirking. “I haven't told them why yet, but they'll have fun.”
“Yeah, if nothing else, it's going to be a right riot to watch you have another panic attack, Lucius,” Dudley chuckled, grinning.
Rolling his eyes, Lucius let out a long-suffering sigh then said, “Warning a sloth-roll was coming would have been nice! I wouldn't have reacted the way I did if something had been said.”
“I'm going to remember that too,” Harry grinned. “You wield a mean beater's bat and that hurt getting smacked with it.”
“I warned you ahead of time, Harry!” Lucius told him, folding his arms over his chest.
Snickering at what was said, Draco asked, “Alright, father, what is going on? And how are Astoria and I involved in this?”
Looking at his son, Lucius said, “We're going to play a game. Not Quidditch, obviously, but something like it. It consists of the Quaffles and smacking them into the hoops. We have a Bludger as well, just one, that flies around. It won't hit you, Harry's charmed it so it won't, it just gets in the way. As Dudley can't fly on his own and I don't want to, what we're doing is teams of two of us on the broom. One flies and the other wields the bat. It's a good time, something I thought both of you would enjoy. Astoria can use the bat, as there is no fear of getting struck, while you navigate.” Seeing a concerned look on his daughter-in-law's face, Lucius held up his hand then soothed, “I assure you, we've charmed the balls to ensure they won't strike anyone. Dudley has no magic, so he can't defend as easily as the rest of us can. I'm older and don't have the reflexes you youngsters do, so I don't want to take the chance. It'll be safe. Just trust Draco with the flying.”
“Older you might be, but you swing a mean bat, Lucius,” Harry laughed, shaking his head.
“Well, yes,” Lucius said smugly, smirking. “Especially when the person I'm on the broom with tries to scare the wits out of me, Harry.” Seeing Harry grin, he rolled his eyes then looked at Draco and Astoria. “Are you up for a few rounds?”
Seeing a concerned look on the woman's face, Dudley said, grinning, “Don't worry, it's fun! Just have them do what they do with me; stick you to the broom so you don't fall off. It's a right riot to play. Especially watching Lucius.”
Though leery of this, Astoria looked at her husband, who was grinning, obviously wanting to give this a go, then sighed, “Alright. Just—no dangerous stunts, Draco! And warn me before you do something strange. Remember, I'll have a beater's bat.”
“I will, trust me,” Draco grinned, having his wife mount the broom then sticking her to it. “And no smacking me with that thing,” he added when she was handed the bat. Mounting up, he took to the air, chuckling at Astoria's soft shriek. “Trust me!” he laughed. “We won't get hurt.”
After watching Charlie and Dudley take to the air, Lucius mounted up behind Harry. Poking the younger man on the shoulder before they took to the air, he reminded, “Warn me before you do something strange or I'll smack you again!”
“I will! Just remember I'm not the Quaffle and don't miss!” Harry laughed, taking to the air. Pointing his wand at the scoreboard, something he and Lucius had managed to repair, he had it light up with their names on it then released the balls. “Alright,” he shouted to the others, “let's have some fun!” He then zoomed off in the direction the Quaffle was with Lucius hanging onto him tightly.

Sitting in the small pub in a private room after the six had finished playing, they were having a drink and some snacks.
“I had a great time,” Astoria said, smiling, looking around. “I didn't think I would, but I did.” Looking at her father-in-law, she said, “Thank you for inviting us, Lucius.”
Nodding to her, Lucius said, “It was most enjoyable. However, I can't take credit for the idea. It was Harry's suggestion. I do agree though; more added in was a great deal of fun.”

“We are definitely going to have to do this again,” Dudley grinned. “That was great! Not only was playing fun, so was the rest.”
Draping an arm over the back of Dudley's chair and leaning back, Charlie added, “We are. Maybe a weekly game for all of us? And we can add others in if you're comfortable. The more teams, the more fun this is going to be.”
“I like the idea of a weekly game,” Draco nodded, setting down his drink. “It'll give us something to look forward to that we can do together. I don't think Astoria and I have had that much fun in a long time. It's not something we would normally do, but it was most enjoyable.”
Liking that idea, Lucius nodded vigorously. “I say we make it a date. How about each Monday night? That's a great way to start the week and I don't believe it's a night anyone has a commitment.” Looking around, seeing the nods and hearing confirmations, he said, “We make it a date then! Seven each Monday night we'll meet at the stadium and go from there. Oh, this will be fun!”
“Yeah, especially hearing you panic, father,” Draco chortled, shaking his head. “That was rather funny.”
Huffing, giving a long suffering sigh, Lucius shook his head, “I am not used to this, Draco. It's been many a year since I've been on a broom and played. It's a little unnerving still to have someone zooming at you and not turning away.”
Snickering, Draco said, “Like you told Astoria; just trust Potter. He knew what he was doing. There was a reason he was so good as a Seeker.”
“Well, yes, I do get that,” Lucius sighed. “You forget, I'm not as young as you lot and not used to this anymore. The nerves when it comes to flying aren't as good as they once were, I'll admit that.”
“Yeah, but you swing a mean bat, that's for damned sure,” Harry laughed.
“That I have no problem with,” Lucius smirked, looking smug. “We did win for a reason.”
“'Cause you like smacking the thing!” Dudley laughed, taking a sip of his beer.
“It's rather cathartic,” Lucius told him, still smirking. Looking at his daughter-in-law, he said, “Astoria did quite well with that as well. She has a good arm.”
“That—I didn't know I could do that,” Astoria admitted, giggling a little. “It was fun though! Especially since I knew I wasn't going to get hit. And knowing Draco wasn't going to let anything happen to me helped as well. No, this was good. I'm going to look forward to doing it again.” Shaking her head, she looked at Harry and said, “I don't know where you came up with that idea, but it was good one.”
Shrugging, Harry said, “I like to fly. Not necessarily to do anything competitive anymore, just fly. I didn't want Lucius to get bored just hanging on, so we came up with smacking the balls around. Then Dudley wanted to give it a try when he heard about it so it went from there. It's fun, I admit it.”
Chuckling, Dudley started talking about Lucius' panic attack from the week before and how he had smacked Harry a good one for causing it, something that had everyone laughing before they moved on to other funny things that had been done. Relaxing, everyone just enjoyed the conversation.

Sitting on the balcony at Grimmauld Place, something that was now a ritual for them before going to bed, Harry was a little conflicted. The feelings for Lucius that he had discussed with his Mind Healer had been growing and he didn't know what to do about them. Tonight, feeling the man hold onto him while they flew, he thought he felt more than that, but couldn't be sure about that end. He also wasn't sure how to ask about it either. It was confusing. Honestly, he normally didn't have a problem getting across to someone that he was interested in them. This time he was though. There was so much involved and he didn't want to ruin the friendship there, so he wasn't sure just what to do about it. He wanted to, though, he did. He thought, maybe, Lucius felt the same way, but was reluctant to take the chance.
Putting his cup down on the table, he leaned a little closer to Lucius, who was sharing the settee with him and said, quietly, “I really liked tonight. That was more fun than I've had in a long time.”
Sitting his own cup down, Lucius nodded. “I wholeheartedly agree, Harry. I like flying alone with you, no doubt there, but this was different. Yes, it's something I think all of us are going to look forward to each week.”
Nodding, Harry then changed topics, “Dudley and Charlie seem to be getting along quite well. I'm glad Dudley built up the courage to ask him out. He's had a crush on him for what seems like forever, he just couldn't bring himself to say anything.”
“I do admit that they seem like a strange couple. They are meshing well, though. At least what I've seen of them. Dudley appears to be quite happy as well.” Stopping, Lucius' brow furrowed then he asked, quietly, “How are your aunt and uncle going to take it if it becomes more serious?”
Scrubbing a hand through his hair, Harry sighed then shook his head. “That I don't know. They are rather rigid about anything that isn't 'normal' in their eyes. As it's Dudley, though, and they accept almost anything to do with him, I don't think it'll be much of a problem. Just have to expect some grumbling about it is all.” Stopping, he sighed then said, “And me to get blamed. They always do that when Dudley does something they don't like.”

Snorting, shaking his head, Lucius told him, “That's foolish. And they won't if I'm around. I'll ensure that they stop that nonsense or keep it to themselves.” Stopping, he looked at Harry then asked, gently, “Do they know you like both sexes?”
Giving a firm shake of his head, Harry told him, “No way. I'm positive they would have had a right fit over that if I had said anything. Especially when I was living with them. Since then I've kept it to myself to stave off problems. Hell, it even took me a while to tell Dudley because I wasn't sure of the reaction. It wasn't until he admitted he liked blokes that I said something.”
“Well, if they start with either of you I'll put a stop to it. Then I'll have Draco give them a lecture about how it's normal.” Stopping, Lucius smirked at that, knowing what his son was like about such things.
Snickering at that image, Harry shook his head. Face taking on a serious look again, he asked, keeping his voice quiet, “If you don't mind—are you like most in the Wizarding world?” He figured, though it was cryptic, Lucius would get it.
Catching on to what Harry was inquiring about, Lucius nodded, “I am. I like both. It's the same as you, actually; I don't care which sex it is. Though I married Narcissa, before her I had lovers of both sexes.”
Hearing that pleased Harry more than he would admit. “I assumed,” he said, nodding. “What with things you've said on the topic. I just wasn't sure was all.”
Putting a hand on the younger man's shoulder, giving a squeeze, Lucius said, “It's normal, as you know. Unlike Muggles, our kind just doesn't talk about it because it's a non-issue. I don't think those of you raised by Muggles understand that though and can sometimes take no one saying anything about it wrong.”
“Yeah, that's true,” Harry nodded. “It was never talked about in school at all, even in the dorms, so I didn't know.” Shrugging, he added, “It was always something I kept to myself for that reason.”
“That, I believe, is another thing that needs to be changed in our world,” Lucius told him with a shake of his head. “In Slytherin it was slightly different because of so many Purebloods in the house. It was well known so it was talked about. The other houses I don't think it was the same.”
“In Gryffindor it wasn't,” Harry told him. Looking at the man, he could see Lucius looking his way. Suddenly, there was an impulse that he had he wanted to follow, though was reluctant to. Leaning over closer, he wanted to see Lucius' reaction before he acted on it.
Looking at Harry, Lucius was torn. Since Harry had started coming around and was slowly getting back to something 'normal' there had been an attraction. He wasn't about to say anything because of what the younger man was dealing with, but it was there. That had grown when he started sleeping with him. In fact, he had even said something to Dr. Netherwood about it. The man had encouraged him to talk to Harry and see where it went. That part he was unsure about. It had been so many years since he had dealt with something like this, that his confidence in such areas was rather lacking. In fact, since getting out of Azkaban, there had been no one. He hadn't even gone to a professional for sex. Part of that was the position he was in. Another was, though, he just wasn't sure how to go about things anymore. This was part of that.
Gazing into Harry's eyes, Lucius was unable to resist and reached out to run a couple fingers down the side of the younger man's face. Going with the feeling, he leaned forward and kissed him, hoping like hell he didn't react badly to it.
Though startled by Lucius making the first move, Harry went with it, leaning into the kiss. Reaching up, he put a hand on the older man's head and stroked it. This was wonderful and sent magnificent feelings surging through his body. In fact, the minute their lips touched, he felt his cock start to stiffen.
Though adoring the feelings, Lucius quickly broke off the kiss then looked at Harry. Smiling a little, he reached out and ran a finger over his jawline then said, quietly, “Before we press on to see where this may lead, I think we need to talk, don't you, Harry? Just not tonight.”
“Yeah, I think talking is a good idea,” Harry agreed with a nod. Grinning, he said, “And tomorrow is good for that. How about we get to bed?”
“Bed it is,” Lucius nodded. Leaning forward, he kissed the younger man again then stood. “Let me find the facilities then I'll be ready.”
Leaning back, watching Lucius go, Harry smiled a little. Maybe, just maybe, this might end up somewhere both of them would like.
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Survivor's Guilt