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You Will Not Kiss Me	By : Prosperosdaughter Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Snape/Remus Views: 22836 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: JK Rowling & her associates own the Harry Potter universe and I make no money from my stories.

Chapter List
- 22
- 23
- 24
Direct quotes from Chapters 18 - 22 are in bold and are © J.K. Rowling

Again, included because why change what she wrote perfectly?

Chapter 23: Treachery

When Snape got back to the school with his bounty, his mind was becoming calmer and he was mastering and harnessing his pain to give him purpose. He had Black and vengeance was, indeed, sweet. He had the golden trio as well: out past curfew and putting themselves directly in harm's way. Frankly, there could be no good reason for them not to be suspended this time. Oh, except that they were Albus's golden Gryffindors. There was always that, Snape thought sourly.

He had no intention of letting Dumbledore meddle in his revenge. He knew Fudge was still with Dumbledore in his office following the execution of the Hippogriff. He sent his Patronus to Poppy, Filius, Pomona and Minerva. Poppy took charge of the children and the other three Heads of House took charge of Black and locked him in Filius's office. In the meantime, he went to Dumbledore's office.

He took enormous pleasure in announcing his capture of Black to the Minister in front of Dumbledore, advising him how he had followed Lupin to an old school haunt where they had captured and Confunded Potter, Weasley and Granger. He saw Dumbledore sit back in his chair and watch him appraisingly over his half moon glasses. Yes, Snape could imagine Dumbledore was seething – Snape was right about Lupin and Black and it was Snape who had saved the day.

"Well, that's extraordinary," exclaimed Fudge. "We must go to see the children at once." Fudge bustled to the door, followed by a surprisingly calm Dumbledore. "I will send Macnair to fetch the Dementors. We should have the Kiss administered at midnight."

"Severus, do show Cornelius the way," Dumbeldore said mildly. "I will ensure Mr. Black is safely secured." Snape narrowed his eyes. Collude with him somehow, more likely, he thought.

Snape led the way to the hospital wing, the Minister talking all the time.

"Shocking business… shocking… miracle none of them died… never heard the like… by thunder, it was lucky you were there, Snape…"

"Thank you, Minister."

"Order of Merlin, Second Class, I'd say. First Class, if I can wangle it!"

"Thank you very much indeed, Minister." As if that mattered. Now, seeing Black receive the Dementor's Kiss – now that would be reward indeed, his demented mind thought.

"Nasty cut you've got there… Black's work, I suppose?"

"As a matter of fact, it was Potter, Weasley, and Granger, Minister…"

"No!"

"Black had bewitched them, I saw it immediately. A Confundus Charm, to judge by their behaviour. They seemed to think there was a possibility he was innocent. They weren't responsible for their actions. On the other hand, their interference might have permitted Black to escape… They obviously thought they were going to catch Black single-handed. They've got away with a great deal before now… I'm afraid it's given them a rather high opinion of themselves… and of course Potter has always been allowed an extraordinary amount of licence by the headmaster —"

"Ah, well, Snape… Harry Potter, you know… we've all got a bit of a blind spot where he's concerned."

"And yet — is it good for him to be given so much special treatment? Personally, I try and treat him like any other student. And any other student would be suspended — at the very least — for leading his friends into such danger. Consider, Minister — against all school rules — after all the precautions put in place for his protection — out-of-bounds, at night, consorting with a werewolf and a murderer — and I have reason to believe he has been visiting Hogsmeade illegally too —"

"Well, well… we shall see, Snape, we shall see… The boy has undoubtedly been foolish … What amazes me most is the behaviour of the Dementors… you've really no idea what made them retreat, Snape?"

"No, Minister… by the time I had come round they were heading back to their positions at the entrances…"

"Extraordinary. And yet Black, and Harry, and the girl —"

"All unconscious by the time I reached them. I bound and gagged Black, naturally, conjured stretchers, and brought them all straight back to the castle."

The next thing Snape heard was Potter creating a fuss in the hospital wind, demanding to see the Headmaster.

"Harry, Harry, what's this?" said Fudge, looking agitated.

"Minister, listen!" Potter said. "Sirius Black's innocent! Peter Pettigrew faked his own death! We saw him tonight! You can't let the Dementors do that thing to Sirius, he's —"

"Harry, Harry, you're very confused, you've been through a dreadful ordeal, lie back down, now, we've got everything under control…"

"YOU HAVEN'T!" Potter yelled. "YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG MAN!"

"Minister, listen, please," Hermione said. "I saw him too. It was Ron's rat, he's an Animagus, Pettigrew, I mean, and —"

"You see, Minister?" said Snape. "Confunded, both of them… Black's done a very good job on them…" Not for one minute did Snape's pain-addled brain consider it could possibly be true.

"WE'RE NOT CONFUNDED!" the brat roared.

The door opened again. It was Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore, Sirius Black —"

"For heaven's sake!" said Madam Pomfrey hysterically. "Is this a hospital wing or not? Headmaster, I must insist —"

"My apologies, Poppy, but I need a word with Mr. Potter and Miss Granger," said Dumbledore calmly. "I have just been talking to Sirius Black —"

"I suppose he's told you the same fairy tale he's planted in Potter's mind?" spat Snape. "Something about a rat, and Pettigrew being alive —"

"That, indeed, is Black's story," said Dumbledore, surveying Snape closely through his half-moon spectacles.

"And does my evidence count for nothing?" snarled Snape. "Peter Pettigrew was not in the Shrieking Shack, nor did I see any sign of him on the grounds."

"That was because you were knocked out, Professor!" said Hermione earnestly. "You didn't arrive in time to hear."

"Miss Granger, HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" He knew, he just knew, his vengeance would unravel in a conspiracy of Gryffindors.

"Now, Snape," said Fudge, startled, "the young lady is disturbed in her mind, we must make allowances —"

"I would like to speak to Harry and Hermione alone," said Dumbledore abruptly. "Cornelius, Severus, Poppy — please leave us."

"Headmaster!" sputtered Madam Pomfrey. "They need treatment, they need rest —"

"This cannot wait," said Dumbledore. "I must insist."

Poppy left and Fudge consulted the large gold pocket watch dangling from his waistcoat.

"The Dementors should have arrived by now," he said. "I'll go and meet them. Dumbledore, I'll see you upstairs."

He crossed to the door and held it open for Snape, but Snape hadn't moved. Here it was again: Dumbledore his confessor and mentor – also his cruel master, never taking his part, about to repeat history. His blood was cold in his veins, knowing the truth of this.

"You surely don't believe a word of Black's story?" Snape whispered, his eyes fixed on Dumbledore's face. His mind shrieked at the unfairness of this – like a repetition of twenty years ago. Sirius Black – homicidal maniac notwithstanding: he was one of Dumbledore's golden Gryffindors and would be forgiven anything.

"I wish to speak to Harry and Hermione alone," Dumbledore repeated.

Snape took a step toward Dumbledore.

"Sirius Black showed he was capable of murder at the age of sixteen," he breathed. "You haven't forgotten that, Headmaster? You haven't forgotten that he once tried to kill me?" It was almost a plea. A plea not to be cruelly disregarded again - not again.

"My memory is as good as it ever was, Severus," said Dumbledore quietly.

Snape turned on his heel and marched through the door Fudge was still holding, his head pounding once more.

He followed Fudge as they made their way to Filius's office, his head still pounding. The Dementors were on their way with Macnair. Surely, there was no way now that Dumbledore could interfere? They reached Filius's office, Dumbledore joined them. Filius was standing outside and took down his wards to permit them entry.

Black was not there. The window was open and Black was not there. It must be a trick, Snape thought wildly, ignoring the babbling of Fudge, Filius and Macnair.

Snape darted into the room with Filius, and both cast Homenum Revelio but no-one was there.

Black had escaped.

Snape locked eyes with Dumbledore, who said nothing. Dumbledore had stayed behind with Potter and Granger. He had put them up to something. The pain in Snape's head was threatening to overwhelm him, but he had to know. He spun on his heels and strode swiftly to the hospital wing, followed by Fudge and Dumbledore.

"He must have Disapparated, Severus. We should have left somebody in the room with him. When this gets out –"

"HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE!" Snape roared. "YOU CAN'T APPARATE OR DISAPPARATE INSIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS – HAS – SOMETHING – TO – DO – WITH – POTTER!"

"Severus – be reasonable – Harry has been locked up –"

BAM.

The door of the hospital wing burst open. Fudge, Snape, and Dumbledore came striding into the ward. Dumbledore alone looked calm. Indeed, he looked as though he was quite enjoying himself. Fudge appeared angry. But Snape was beside himself seeing Dumbledore's calmness – knowing with absolute certainty he had used Potter to free Black. Maybe, he could drag the information out of Potter.

"OUT WITH IT, POTTER!" he bellowed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Professor Snape!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey. "Control yourself!"

"See here, Snape, be reasonable," said Fudge. "This door's been locked, we just saw –"

"THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!" Snape howled, pointing at Potter and Granger.

"Calm down, man!" Fudge barked. "You're talking nonsense!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW POTTER!" shrieked Snape. "HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT –"

"That will do, Severus," said Dumbledore quietly. "Think about what you are saying. This door has been locked since I left the ward ten minutes ago. Madam Pomfrey, have these students left their beds?" Oh, the foul, foul man has betrayed me in the eyes of the world again. How many times will he do this to me? Snape's mind howled in rage.

"Of course not!" said Madam Pomfrey, bristling. "I would have heard them!"

"Well, there you have it, Severus," said Dumbledore calmly. "Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I'm afraid I don't see any point in troubling them further."

Snape stood there, seething, staring from Fudge to Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. Snape whirled about, robes swishing behind him, and stormed out of the ward and marched back to his quarters in the dungeons, knowing the man had betrayed him.

He entered his quarters, furious. He knew Dumbledore had set up Potter somehow to thwart his revenge. But why – why would either of them assist the murderer of Lily? He paced his drawing room like a caged and wounded animal, his mind spinning, his head splitting.

His eyes accidentally alighted on one of Lupin's cravats on one of the chairs. The beast had all his clothing here. He strode to the wardrobe and pulled Lupin's clothes out and threw them into a Conjured chest. He raged around his quarters looking for every small thing that was Lupin's to get it out of his sight. He vanished it all to Lupin's own rooms.

He went back to pacing, filled with unspent rage with no outlet, his fists clenching and unclenching. As he passed his bookcase, he dragged all the books to the floor, shelf by shelf, and then crashed the bookcase itself to the floor, breaking it. He then threw each of his chairs against the stone wall and then turned to his desk.

He saw his notes on the werewolf's blood lust and their holiday list. He started to breathe more slowly, trying to calm himself. He picked up his voluminous workings on the blood lust. Why should he now care about an incantation to alleviate a werewolf's blood lust and pain? His eyes glittered and his teeth were bared, suppressing his physical violence, as he stared at the hours of work held in his hands. The werewolf's pain could multiply a hundred-fold and it would not satisfy his pain and rage! He took each piece of parchment and shredded it very deliberately and when all the many pages had been shredded, he consumed them in Fiendfyre, just like his blood parchments had been.

He then picked up their list of holiday places and slumped in the last remaining chair by his desk. Grief suddenly overwhelmed his rage.

Ye gods, the beast had done the thing thoroughly. He made me think we had a life together. He conjured a whole fantasy and meshed me in it thoroughly. Whatever was I thinking? However could I have believed I could be loved like that, even by a beast? As his pain overtook his rage, he laid his head on the list written in both their hands, laced his fingers over his head and sobbed until he could weep no more.

Dawn brought clarity to his madness although no relief from pain from the Break. He took the list, liberally smutched by his tears, and cast Incendio to it without a second glance. He then set about repairing his furniture and re-ordering his books with unnatural calmness.

The beast would be regaining his form now and no doubt making his way back to his rooms. Black had escaped and Snape had no doubt at all that Dumbledore himself would contrive to allow the animal to stay. Snape would not have it – could not have it. He would not discuss it with Dumbledore again. He would be disregarded – he was always disregarded. He had to attend to the matter himself.

He had hurt the beast last night. Well, that was deserved. The beast had never told him a single truth. The Dark Lord had taught him well. How fitting the beast's punishment should be that which Snape had thought sacred between them but now saw was profane.

Now, he needed to ensure that Dumbledore's machinations would not succeed.

Early morning saw Snape call a House meeting ostensibly to head count all his students.

"Thank you for indulging me in this head count," he said silkily to the assembled students in the Slytherin common room. "It was necessary before breakfast to ensure you are all safe and accounted for, due to the - ah ... unforeseen release into the grounds last night of a werewolf. Now, let us all now make our way to breakfast." He listened with well-cloaked pleasure to the varying gasps of dismay and questions as to the identity of the werewolf from his students to this revelation.

As they reached the Great Hall, he said softly, "Needless to say, we are all aware that the Defence against the Dark Arts post is cursed, but perhaps we had not expected that to have such a literal sense this year." He opened the door and allowed his Slytherins to pass through, noting each and every one had understood who the werewolf was. He smirked unpleasantly listening to the Slytherins chatter about Professor Lupin and steal frightened glances to his currently unoccupied place at breakfast. Snape followed, striding confidently to the head table to meet Dumbledore's stern gaze.

As he took his seat, he could see Dumbledore had guessed the topic of conversation of Slytherin House. He looked at Snape, his eyes calculating for a while and then turned away. As breakfast finished, Dumbledore stood and went to Snape.

"You have Remus's wand, I believe," he said mildly, holding his hand out. Snape took it from his robe and passed it to Dumbledore without question. There would be no trial for the beast now that Black had escaped. "Come to my office in two hours, Severus," Dumbledore said firmly. Snape gave him a curt nod.

At 10 a.m., Snape arrived at Dumbledore's office. Bright-eyed, still angry and head still on fire. He hoped it was not Dumbledore's intention to crow.

"Have a seat Severus," Dumbledore said, and poured Snape a cup of tea. Snape sat, upright.

"Remus has tendered his resignation," Dumbledore informed him.

"I'm pleased to hear it," Snape said, without a trace of emotion.

"Why are you? Until last night, you were a couple. Quite a serious one at that, as far as I could see," Dumbledore observed mildly.

"It was all a lie. A sham to get Black into the castle." Snape's jaw twitched as he tried to retain his composure.

"That is nonsense, Severus." Dumbledore now looked steadily at Snape, as if in challenge.

Snape stood quickly as his temper started to bubble and Dumbledore nodded, as if confirming something to himself, as he made a complex casting in the air.

"Severus, please sit. Let me help you," Dumbledore whispered.

"I don't need any help. You've done quite enough!" Snape barked, his hands grabbing the edge of Dumbledore's table.

"Severus, your Mind Break has torn open. Please listen to me," Dumbledore said, his tone still measured.

"You are just trying to manoeuvre me again, Albus," Snape's voice was still rising with his anger. "I am not sorry for what I did to the beast. I wish both of them could have been given the Dementor's Kiss last night!" he roared.

"Enough Severus! Co-operate with me, or not – the choice is yours. This will happen." Dumbledore's voice was hard-edged now, but not raised, but his wand was, and Snape's eyes widened as he realised what Dumbledore meant to do.

"You would not do that," he whispered in horror. "I won't allow it!" Snape began to look quite wild with fear, and yet found he was unable to reach for his own wand. Dumbledore had wordlessly restrained him.

Legilimens.

Albus Dumbledore was no Dark Lord. His intrusion could barely be felt, but Snape knew he was in his mind. Swiftly and tenderly, Dumbledore found the Break. He began to use ancient white magic mind bindings for healing with patience, skill and dexterity. Snape recognised them as ones he used to heal after Legilimency had been performed brutally. Slowly, he felt the dense throbbing starting to ease and the pain dulling as Dumbledore gently closed the tear. The Dark miasma of pain and rage lifted like a storm passing, Snape began to feel the weight lift from his mind and finally Dumbledore left his mind.

But he left behind a man now in full realisation of what he had done to his lover in the throes of the red mist of Dark madness. Snape was slumped in the chair, his eyes wide with horror, staring at Dumbledore. Then he dropped his head into his own hands, clutching his hair, the air reverberated with the sound of dry sobs racking Snape's lungs as very real grief crashed over him.

Dumbledore watched Snape kindly. It was the second time Snape had howled his grief in this very chair. The boy had no-one and was so very emotionally inarticulate. The least Dumbledore could do was not to let him cry alone. He had hoped Lupin would bring an end to Snape's isolation. Perhaps, he had been wrong. Perhaps, Snape was just too damaged. Eventually, Snape wore himself out, and had slowly stopped crying and eventually calmed himself again, but his eyes were haunted by what he had done to Lupin.

"When did you stop seeing the Healer, Severus?" Dumbledore asked. "And why?"

"Before the exams," he croaked, his throat parched. Dumbledore summoned water and a refreshed teapot for Snape. "We were just so busy, there seemed to be no time in the day – for us." Snape looked away, with a slight blush.

"Do you understand what happened to you yesterday, Severus?" Dumbledore asked kindly.

"I did not at the time. I do now. The Break tore open. The Mind Break is Dark magic. It will have magnified all my negative feelings to the point of madness," Snape exhaled heavily. "I must be its perfect subject," he spat bitterly.

"But Remus still let Black into the castle and led him to Potter and his friends. Why would he do that?" Snape cried, his mind trying to understand last night's events without malignancy clouding his understanding.

"He did not, Severus," Dumbledore said firmly. "You already know the truth, but would not believe it because it came from the mouth of Sirius Black."

Snape opened his mouth to say something, but bit it back. "Pettigrew?" he whispered hoarsely, his heart starting to hurt again, and his gut starting to churn.

Dumbledore nodded and produced a phial with some silvery substance in it: a memory.

"Whose?" Snape said weakly, but he knew.

"Remus's," Dumbledore said softly. "He gave it to me for you when he came to resign."

"Please, Albus, no. I don't want to see it. You don't know what I did to him," Snape implored.

"I'm afraid I have a good idea. I saw the pain in his eyes this morning. A very deeply etched pain," Dumbledore emphasised the words so Snape would understand that Dumbledore knew full well. "You cannot hide from the truth, Severus. You should not want to. I will be with you."

Snape stood with Dumbledore at the Pensieve as Dumbledore emptied the phial into it and took Snape's elbow as they leant into it.

It was Lupin's office. He was drinking a mug of tea and had just revealed the Marauder's Map. He was looking for someone on it. His finger was tracing the main hall and out to Hagrid's hut.

There! Lupin tapped the map with his index finger and his jaw set with annoyance: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger leaving Hagrid's hut

With a fourth dot labelled 'Peter Pettigrew'.

Snape saw Lupin's eyes grow wide and his already pale face drain completely. Lupin had told him: the map did not lie and did not malfunction. His own stomach churned to look upon Lupin's face and know what was to come.

Then he saw another dot running towards the group, very fast indeed. Sirius Black.

Lupin fled from his office as fast as he could towards the Whomping Willow. He saw him immobilise the branches and run down the tunnel to the house itself and heard Granger calling for help. He sped up the stairs and crashed into the upper room (where Snape had watched vigil over him all those nights ago) wand at the ready. He took in the scene of Weasley injured on the floor, Granger cowering next to him and Potter standing over a crumpled and bleeding Black with his wand raised.

Lupin then Disarmed the trio. Snape was shocked and quickly looked to Dumbledore. "Watch," Dumbledore whispered.

"Where is he, Sirius?" Snape had never heard Lupin's voice sound so hard and so full of hatred.

Black's face was quite expressionless. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand and pointed straight at Weasley. Snape was puzzled.

"But then…" Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind, "… why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless" — Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Black, something none of the rest could see, "— unless he was the one… unless you switched… without telling me?"

Snape closed his eyes slowly. Not Black. Pettigrew. He opened them again and wondered what inner turmoil Lupin was feeling now.

Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin's face, Black nodded.

The brat was about to ask a question but Snape could see his utter confusion as he saw that Lupin was lowering his wand, gazing fixedly at Black. Lupin walked to Black's side, seized his hand, pulled him to his feet, and embraced Black like a brother.

There was no doubt at all in Snape's mind that the embrace was familial. He took in the sorrow and concern on Lupin's face for the convict in front of him – knowing Lupin's capacity for love and tenderness and hatred for injustice, Black's plight as an innocent man would be making Lupin's heart break now. Just looking at Lupin with Black in his embrace as a long lost brother shamed Snape quite profoundly and he drew his hand across his face to hide his shame from Dumbledore.

The children shouted at Lupin, accusingly and Lupin tried to explain.

"NO!" Granger screamed. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too — he's a werewolf!"

There was a ringing silence. Everyone's eyes were now on Lupin, who looked remarkably calm, though rather pale. Shame crawled all over Snape's skin right to the tips of his fingers and toes, knowing the abject misery Lupin would be feeling, and how he himself would compound it shortly.

"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione," he said. "Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead." An odd shiver passed over his face. "But I won't deny that I am a werewolf."

Weasley made some attempt to move and Lupin made toward him, looking concerned, but Weasle gasped, "Get away from me, werewolf!" Snape flinched for Lupin.

Lupin stopped dead. Then, with an obvious effort, he turned to Hermione and said, "How long have you known?"

"Ages," Granger whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay…" Well, it was why he had set it, he couldn't deny it.

"He'll be delighted," said Lupin coolly. Lupin explained that the staff knew of his affliction and that Dumbledore had had his work cut out to convince them he was trustworthy. Snape knew he was the only member of staff who had opposed Lupin's appointment.

"He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy —"

"AND HE WAS WRONG!" Potter yelled. "YOU'VE BEEN HELPING HIM ALL THE TIME!"

He was pointing at Black, who suddenly crossed to the four-poster bed and sank onto it, his face hidden in one shaking hand.

"I have not been helping Sirius," said Lupin. "If you'll give me a chance, I'll explain. Look —"

He separated the children's wands and threw each back to its owner.

"There," said Lupin, sticking his own wand back into his belt "You're armed, we're not. Now will you listen?"

Potter demanded to know how Lupin knew they were here. Lupin explained he saw it on the map. Potter was surprised Lupin knew how to work it.

"Of course I know how to work it," said Lupin. "I helped write it. I'm Moony — that was my friends' nickname for me at school."

Snape could see Potter was speechless. Lupin had not lied about this either.

Lupin explained that he had been looking for them, that he expected they used the invisibility cloak. Once again, Potter was surprised. Potter hardly knew anything about Lupin's close relationship with his father. Snape knew that would have hurt Lupin to keep that close. Then Lupin revealed the children had been accompanied by a fourth person.

"I couldn't believe my eyes," said Lupin, still pacing. "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?"

"No one was with us!" said Potter.

"And then I saw another dot, moving fast toward you, labelled Sirius Black… I saw him collide with you; I watched as he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow —"

"One of us!" Weasley said angrily.

"No, Ron," said Lupin. "Two of you."

"Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.

"What's Scabbers got to do with it?"

"Everything," said Lupin. "Could I see him, please?"

Weasley produced the desperately thrashing rat. Snape held his breath.

Lupin ... seemed to be holding his breath as he gazed intently at Scabbers.

"What's my rat got to do with anything?"

"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius Black suddenly.

"What d'you mean — of course he's a rat —"

"No, he's not," said Lupin quietly. "He's a wizard."

"An Animagus," said Black, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew."

The children argued, pointing out Pettigrew had been killed by Black. Snape's own breathing had become erratic.

"I meant to," Black growled, his yellow teeth bared, "but little Peter got the better of me… not this time, though!" and then Black made a lunge for the rat.

"Sirius, NO!" Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Weasley again, "WAIT! You can't do it just like that — they need to understand — we've got to explain —"

"We can explain afterwards!" snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off. One hand was still clawing the air as it tried to reach Scabbers, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron's face and neck as he tried to escape.

Why did Lupin always have to be so reasonable? The man was a marvel. Snape's heart hurt.

"They've — got — a — right — to — know — everything!" Lupin panted, still trying to restrain Black. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand, and Harry — you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!"

Black stopped struggling, though his hollowed eyes were still fixed on Scabbers.

"All right, then," Black said, without taking his eyes off the rat. "Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for…"

Weasley made to leave but Lupin raised his wand again, pointing it at Scabbers.

"You're going to hear me out, Ron," he said quietly.

"But Professor Lupin… Scabbers can't be Pettigrew… it just can't be true, you know it can't…"

"Why can't it be true?" Lupin said calmly, as though they were in class, and Hermione had simply spotted a problem in an experiment with Grindylows. Merlin! Lupin had the patience of a saint. Granger really was an insufferable know-it-all.

"Because … because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus." and proceeded to regurgitate her homework of the registration of animagi.

Lupin started to laugh. It was a genuine hearty Lupin laugh and it tugged at Snape's heart.

"Right again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that here used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts."

Then Snape heard the creak behind Lupin and knew he had now arrived under Potter's invisibility cloak. He started to feel nauseous.

He watched and listened as Lupin explained again how the Shrieking Shack had been purpose-built for his transformations. Without the miasma of the Break twisting his thoughts and emotions, he heard and saw the sadness in Lupin as he looked about him at what had clearly been traumatic memories of transforming alone in this dismal place and as he recalled his parents' sacrifices for him. He'd noticed none of this last night. Now it made him want to reach out to comfort him.

He described his friendship with the other Marauders and how they'd become animagi to keep him company. It was advanced magic for teenagers, he had to admit.

He listened and watched intently as Lupin described their full moons together. He remembered how he had reacted with fury to the admission that they had had a few near misses and interpreted it as being laughing at his own incident with Lupin transformed. Now he listened without the Break's fury, no such admission was there and he saw clearly the haunted, guilty look on Lupin's face.

He listened and watched Lupin as he talked of his betrayal of Dumbledore's trust both as a school boy and as a teacher, but this time found he did not agree with him. He was just too human.

He heard the derision in Black's voice at the mention of his own name. He did not care but watched Black as Lupin described how Black tricked him into the werewolf's lair all those years ago. No regret there, that was for sure.

But now, he knew it was time...

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Potter slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," he heard his own cold voice sneer, and his blood froze.

Snape covered his face and groaned, recalling the bile that was filling his mind as he advanced on Lupin with his wand drawn at Lupin's chest. He listened to Lupin trying to plead with him to listen to him reasonably. Of course, he did not – he recalled being completely consumed in his hatred.

He heard himself say, "Two more for Azkaban tonight. I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this… He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin… a tame werewolf —" and held his breath.

"You fool," said Lupin softly. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

BANG!

Thin, snakelike cords burst from the end of Snape's wand and twisted themselves around Lupin's mouth, wrists, and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. Snape watched in horror as he saw Lupin's eyes fill with tears of fear, shame and agony as Snape carved into his mind as he bound him without pity or mercy.

He heard himself rage at Black and at Granger, but it was Lupin from whom he could not tear his eyes. Even though he knew it was a memory only, he dropped to his knees before Lupin's prone, bound form at the sight of him in so much pain. He heard Black beg him to look at the rat, but he didn't need to look at his memory self to see he was quite beyond reason. He heard himself click his fingers and watched as the ends of the cords that bound Lupin flew to his hands. "I'll drag the werewolf. Perhaps the Dementors will have a kiss for him too —" If he could have punched himself, he would. He saw Lupin's eyes as he said these appalling things, designed to be as cruel as possible. He remembered the malice with which he had said them.

He watched Potter block the door and stick up for Lupin and then yell at him. He looked at his maddened self, horror-struck at how unhinged he was. He heard himself rail against the boy's father again and then saw Potter, Granger and Weasley Disarm him, blasting him unconscious back onto the bed.

Granger was whimpering and Lupin was struggling against his bonds. Black bent down quickly and untied him. Lupin straightened up, rubbing his arms where the ropes had cut into them.

"Thank you, Harry," he said. Those in the room may not have seen, but Snape could see the pain Lupin was struggling to master. Master it he would, because Lupin always mastered his pain.

Then he heard Black say to Potter, "Then it's time we offered you some proof. You, boy — give me Peter, please. Now."

Weasley refused and wanted to know how Black could possibly know it was his rat that was Pettigrew. Black took a crumpled piece of paper, which he smoothed flat and held out to show the others. It was the photograph of Weasley and his family that had appeared in the Daily Prophet the previous summer, and there was Scabbers.

Black explained Fudge had given him the paper when he inspected Azkaban last year, explained how often he had seen Pettigrew transform and noted the missing claw.

"Of course," Lupin breathed. "So simple… so brilliant… he cut it off himself?"

"Just before he transformed," said Black. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself — and sped down into the sewer with the other rats…"

Snape was as fascinated as the children to listen to the mystery unravel. The Weasley family rat, in the family for twelve years. Granger's cat (undoubtedly a kneazle, Snape thought) communicating with Black in his animagus form to try to bring the rat to him. How the rat even tried to fake its own death by the kneazle. Then Black admitting to the boy he had come to kill Pettigrew and the boy losing his temper.

"Harry," said Lupin hurriedly, "don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down — but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father — Sirius tracked Peter down —"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Potter yelled. "HE WAS THEIR SECRET-KEEPER! HE SAID SO BEFORE YOU TURNED UP. HE SAID HE KILLED THEM!"

"Harry… I as good as killed them," he croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me… I'm to blame, I know it… The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies… I realized what Peter must've done… what I'd done…" Snape could never feel pity or compassion for Black, but he certainly understood the guilt of poor choices. Black's was nowhere near as culpable as his own, but he understood the consuming nature of it to understand why Black's voice broke. He turned away.

"Enough of this," said Lupin, and there was a steely note in his voice. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Ron, give me that rat."

Snape watched intently as Lupin took the rat from Weasley and Scabbers began to squeak without stopping, twisting and turning, his tiny black eyes bulging in his head. "Ready, Sirius?" said Lupin.

Black, with Snape's wand, approached Lupin and the struggling rat.

"Together?" he said quietly.

"I think so", said Lupin, holding Scabbers tightly in one hand and his wand in the other. "On the count of three. One — two — THREE!"

A flash of blue-white light erupted from both wands; for a moment, Scabbers was frozen in mid-air, his small grey form twisting madly ... the rat fell and hit the floor. There was another blinding flash of light and then —

Snape watched the rat transform into Peter Pettigrew and he was filled with murderous rage: for Lily, for Lupin, for himself. He felt Dumbledore squeeze his arm lightly to pacify him.

"Well, hello, Peter," said Lupin pleasantly, as though rats frequently erupted into old school friends around him. "Long time, no see." Oh Remus, Snape thought longingly, how are you so overwhelmingly gentle and courteous? Gentle, gentle man.

He heard Pettigrew try to dissemble and watched as Lupin prevented Black killing Pettigrew outright there and then. Lupin's coolness under pressure came to the fore, teasing information out of Pettigrew from the rat's wild accusations as he clearly panicked, refusing to utter the Dark Lord's name and unable to account for hiding as a rat for twelve years.

"I must admit, Peter, I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat," said Lupin evenly.

"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Pettigrew. "If Voldemort's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban — the spy, Sirius Black!"

Black's face contorted.

"How dare you," he growled. "I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter — I'll never understand why I didn't see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who'd look after you, didn't you? It used to be us… me and Remus… and James…"

Snape's mouth became thin. Black clearly knew what they were at school, even if Lupin didn't.

"Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it," Black hissed, so venomously that Pettigrew took a step backward. "I thought it was the perfect plan… a bluff… Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you… It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters."

Snape knew it was the truth. He listened as more questions were asked, his interest piqued further by Granger's question of how he escaped from Azkaban:

"I don't know how I did it," he said slowly. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn't suck it out of me… but it kept me sane and knowing who I am… helped me keep my powers… so when it all became… too much… I could transform in my cell… become a dog. Dementors can't see, you know…" He swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions… They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog… but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand…

"But then I saw Peter in that picture… I realized he was at Hogwarts with Harry… perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again…ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies… and to deliver the last Potter to them. If he gave them Harry, who'd dare say he'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with honours … So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive…"

"It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the Dementors couldn't destroy it… It wasn't a happy feeling… it was an obsession… but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog… It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused… I was thin, very thin… thin enough to slip through the bars… I swam as a dog back to the mainland… I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since …"

Snape was transfixed. He understood the nature of obsession, understood Black's determination and raison d'être. He believed him totally when he said to Potter, "Believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them."

Pettigrew howled and grovelled before his school friends. Black asked for forgiveness for suspecting Lupin as the spy which, of course, he gave and then Lupin and Black resolved to kill him together.

Pettigrew grovelled to every person in that room for mercy, ending with Potter, Pettigrew claiming his father would have shown mercy. Snape very much doubted it. Black and Lupin poised to strike, even as the loathsome rat claimed to be acting under duress and proclaimed:

"He — he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Pettigrew. "Wh-what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Black, with a terrible fury in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter!" Snape's eyes closed at the truth of it. Only innocent lives.

"You don't understand!" whined Pettigrew. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.

Then Potter intervened to beg that he be taken to Azkaban rather than killed by his father's friends. Lupin and Black were staggered but complied with Potter's wish. Lupin bound Pettigrew. He then splinted Weasley's bites, who seemed to have recovered from his fear of werewolves. Then he went over to check on Snape himself.

"There's nothing seriously wrong with him," said Lupin, bending over Snape and checking his pulse. "You were just a little — overenthusiastic. Still out cold. Er — perhaps it will be best if we don't revive him until we're safety back in the castle. We can take him like this…" He saw Lupin's hand tremble as he touched his wrist for his pulse; saw the pain in his eyes and the fear. Casting Mobilicorpus, he levitated Snape into a standing position.

Black conjured heavy manacles from thin air; Pettigrew was chained to Lupin and Weasley, who followed the kneazle down the passage, followed by Snape drifting, held up by his own wand, which was being pointed at him by Black and followed by Potter and Granger. Snape noted his head being scraped on the low ceiling, explaining the graze on his forehead. Well, he didn't think under the circumstances, Snape was entitled to any kindness.

The grounds were very dark now; the only light came from the distant windows of the castle. A cloud shifted. There were suddenly dim shadows on the ground. Their party was bathed in moonlight.

Snape's body collided with Lupin, Pettigrew, and Ron, who had stopped abruptly. Snape saw Black freeze as he flung out one arm to make Potter and Hermione stop.

Lupin went rigid. Then his limbs began to shake.

The man screamed and, as the screams turned to howls, the memory ended.

They left the Pensieve. Dumbledore steadied Snape on his feet. He had been so utterly wrong in every way and had tortured Lupin. He could only blame the Break so much. There were very few wizards who could carve a mind as he had done – that took Darkness of a very rare type and he was not proud to possess it, to have even thought of it let alone to carry it out. Those evils were his, and his alone.

He stood before Dumbledore's desk, ashamed, humbled and hurting. Dumbledore sat and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well, Lucius will have his scandal, although not as salacious as he might have hoped. The Daily Prophet will pillory me as a foolish old man to hire a werewolf. It is of no concern to me. But, Remus? His life will be ruined now," he said heavily.

Snape felt his legs weaken as his stomach chewed itself and he tasted bile rising in his throat. Of course, his own students would tell their parents and it would be splashed all over The Daily Prophet tomorrow. Lupin could never find employment in the wizarding world again and it was completely his doing. He'd meant to damage him and he'd done it utterly. He could never retract that information from the world.

"It is a fearsome thing to be loved and rejected by you, Severus," Dumbledore commented. The comment hurt, as only the truth could.

"Let me go to him, Albus. I can heal what I did. Only I can heal it, you know that," Snape pleaded, his face stricken.

"You would not be welcome now, Severus. Remus is packing to leave. I certainly think you must be healed fully yourself before you see Remus again ... if he will see you. You are a man of intemperate passions, Severus. You should wait until you are once again in full control." It was harsh, but Snape knew it was deserved. "As soon as term finishes, I will escort you to St. Mungo's," Dumbledore continued. "You will stay there until Healer Smethwyck tells me the Break is completely healed. Then, we will see if Remus will see you."

Snape nodded and turned to leave, his heart leaden.

"Oh, and Severus," Dumbledore called after him. Then his voice lowered, "Never break a vow to me again."
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You Will Not Kiss Me