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The Years After	By : Araea Swiftwind Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male Views: 2598 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money off the writing of this piece of fiction. The views expressed herein do not in any way reflect the views of J.K. Rowling or Warner Bros. and their affiliates.

Chapter List
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Part 23 – Epilogue Part 1 – May 18, 1993

Severus arrived at Malfoy Manor just minutes after he had killed the headmaster. He was slightly disheveled from the speed with which he traveled. He knew his master would want to know the good news as soon as possible. Voldemort was exactly where Severus expected him to be, in the meeting room, on his throne.

“It is done, My Lord.” Severus bowed at Voldemort’s feet, forehead nearly touching the ground in reverence.

Voldemort looked down at his faithful subject and smiled, since it was only the two of them in the room. “Rise, Severus, and report.”

Severus stood on slightly shaking legs. The adrenaline was still coursing through his body. He knew that once it stopped, he would crash, but until then, he relied on its strength.

“Dumbledore was weakened by the potion, Draco managed to disarm him before I arrived, and I killed him with Avada Kedavra, though the fall from the tower didn’t help anything. He showed no remorse for his actions against Harry. He told me that he gave the Dursleys the order not to kill Harry, or to get rid of him, but nothing more than that. He didn’t feel that Harry needed love or attention, so long as the boy lived to be obedient and kill you.”

This enraged Voldemort. He knew the man had been callus, but sentencing an innocent child to the Dursleys…it was too much. Harry was so precious. So sweet. He didn’t deserve that. No child did. If Dumbledore had shown remorse, if he had no idea of what the Dursleys had done and was angry, that was another story. He might have had mercy on the man. But even until his dying breath, Dumbledore was sure he was right. That kind of man was too dangerous to allow to live.

“You did well, Severus. We will have a formal meeting tomorrow. For tonight, please go rest.”

Severus bowed at the waist and responded, “Thank you, My Lord.” With that, he left for his rooms in the manor. If Minerva or anyone else wanted to find him, they could send a patronus or house elf. He didn’t have it in him to return to the school quite yet.

On his way to his room, Severus encountered Remus. The man looked to be tired, and was probably on his way home. It was just after midnight. When Remus noticed Severus, the tired look faded somewhat and a small smile played on the man’s lips.

“Severus, how did it go?”

Though tired, Severus was glad to see Remus. The man’s presence was soothing. “It is done. He had no remorse, so neither do I. Of all of the people I’ve had to kill in my life, this is one I’m actually glad of. A monster like that doesn’t deserve to live.”

Remus was a bit shocked at the vehemence in Severus’ voice. He knew the Dark side had a lot more against Dumbledore than he did, but he hadn’t realized how deep that hatred went. He couldn’t imagine being that okay with killing someone. He knew that he would have had to if he were in service to Dumbledore over the last eleven years, and when he trusted the man, he would have gladly done what he needed to, but he wouldn’t ever be able to be happy about being the one to end someone’s life. At least, he didn’t think so.

Seeing the shock on Remus’ face, Severus explained more of what Dumbledore had said. He explained what the man had planned for Harry. He explained the deranged look on the man’s face. Once all of that was explained, Remus understood a bit more. The man had hurt his cub for no good reason, and the wolf inside of Remus was glad that the man was dead. He wanted to rip his disgusting heart out.

“I’m sorry for doubting the necessity, Severus. I had no idea how the man really felt.”

“No apology necessary. No one could have known the depths that man had sunk to. He confided in no one fully. Everything we knew was tidbits, only what we needed to know at the moment. I’m sure Minerva will get quite the shock when she finds evidence of all of his plans in his office.”

“Even so, I should have trusted in you more. I know you don’t enjoy killing. So, for you to be glad of this, he must have done something terrible. I should have trusted in that.”

“There you go being too hard on yourself again. Not everything is your fault, Remus.”

“I know that. But I can be sorry for jumping to conclusions, or not using my intelligence. I’m in control of that. It’s something I can change.”

“You don’t have to apologize for being human.”

“No, but I have to work harder at it. I have to be better.”

“Better than what?”

“Better than everyone else.”

“Why?”

“Because of the wolf. Even if I am just the same as everyone else, all people will see are the bad things I do, the bad choices I make, because of the wolf. So I have to work that much harder to not make those bad choices, to not do those bad things.”

“Remus…” Severus really didn’t know how he should respond. He didn’t think that was true, but he hadn’t been there with Remus to see how people in the world treated him. Without that knowledge, he couldn’t properly refute the statement.

“You never have to try that hard with me. I know who you are.”

The affection in Severus’ voice was enough to melt Remus. He knew that Sirius loved him, and would do almost anything for him, but Severus was different. Severus accepted him in a way Sirius never did. Severus was studious like Remus was, he was calm, he didn’t need to be corrected as often. Being with Severus was easy. Being with Sirius was tiring, but full of laughter and passion. Remus was torn. He didn’t want to give up on Sirius, but he did want to see what he could have with Severus. The man was just so tempting.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Remus moved closer to Severus quickly and pulled the man into a kiss. It took Severus off guard, but after a second, he passionately joined in. Remus was everything Severus had ever wanted. Someone to understand him, treat him with kindness, accept his silences and be able to banter with him. Someone he wasn’t afraid to break, or sully with his darkness. Remus understood darkness, and didn’t shy away from Severus.

After several long moments, the two broke apart, gasping for air. Severus wanted to drag Remus back to his room and make sure neither of them got any sleep. Remus knew that he should go home to Sirius. Perhaps tomorrow they could have a conversation about their relationship.

“I’m sorry, Severus. I seem to keep doing this. I shouldn’t…there’s Sirius…but… I can’t seem to help myself.”

Severus took a deep breath to settle his raging hormones. He knew he couldn’t keep Remus, no matter how badly he wanted to. Sirius had claimed him first. It was just one more reason for Severus to hate Sirius Black.

“Don’t apologize to me anymore, Remus. I understand. We can’t all have what we want. Go home to your mutt, and I’ll see you tomorrow, or whenever you’re back in the manor.”

Remus nearly cried. Severus always understood him. It was all he could do to tear his eyes away and continue walking down the hallway. “Bye, Severus,” he whispered as he moved away.

Severus hoped that wasn’t a permanent goodbye.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

“Lily, Potter, it’s done.”

James and Lily were standing in the doorway to their room with shocked and relieved expressions on their faces. James was so glad that Dumbledore was gone, and his son was safe. Lily was shocked that it was all done so quickly. She knew the timeline, but still, she expected things to go wrong, for Dumbledore to put up more of a fight.

“What happened?”

Severus was bone weary, but he figured he had to get used to telling the tale. Many people would probably ask over the coming days. “Everything went according to plan. Dumbledore went after the ‘horcrux’, drank the poison, and was confronted by Draco on top of the astronomy tower. I came in and relieved Draco, shooting the killing curse at Dumbledore. He fell off of the tower and made quite the mess on the lawn below. He did admit to everything before he died, and showed no remorse whatsoever for what he did to Harry.”

Lily looked a little sick at the description of what had become of Dumbledore, but James had a look of deep anger on his face. How dare that man not feel any regret for what he did to my boy, James thought. The man had deserved everything he got, and probably more. Who knew how many other children had been treated similarly by the man?

“Have you spoken to Minerva about the possibility of other children in the same position as Harry?”

A pensive look crossed Severus’ face as he thought about the possibility of there being more abused children. “No, I haven’t. But when I return to the school, I’ll definitely bring it up to her. We wouldn’t want a severely abused child to grow up and decide to decimate the wizarding world because he felt like we let him down.”

Lily tried to hide her yawn, but both men saw it easily. “Thank you for bringing us this information, Severus. It’ll help us sleep better tonight.”

“It is but my duty, Potter. Sleep well, Lily.” With his parting words, Severus turned away and finally went to his own room. He needed a nice, long sleep.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

Sirius had been pacing the library for a few hours, waiting for Remus to get home. He was never fully comfortable with Remus being at Malfoy manor without him. He knew that Severus wasn’t there most of the time, but he still had this feeling that it wasn’t safe for Remus there alone. However, Sirius was never fully comfortable in Malfoy manor. That was why he often let Remus go alone. Either way, it didn’t sit well with Sirius.

He understood that Remus was teaching Harry important things. He didn’t want his godson to suffer just because he was uncomfortable. But he also didn’t want to lose Remus because Severus decided to do something to him. Remus was everything to Sirius. He was his reason for getting up in the morning, his reason for eating, for breathing. Without Remus, Sirius wasn’t sure he could keep living.

And of course, those sentiments were incredibly dramatic. Sirius knew that. But, he really couldn’t care about that. For him, they were as true as anything. He was alive because of Remus. Not that Remus had really saved his life in a literal sense, but definitely in a figurative one. Remus gave Sirius purpose. Remus made Sirius want to be better. Remus was the one who told Sirius when he was being stupid, and kept him from losing friends. James was Sirius’ best friend, but Remus was his mate, his everything.

After the two hundredth lap around the library, Remus finally came home. Sirius could hear the front door close and his mother’s dreadful portrait screaming. He stopped pacing at once, and flew down the stairs. He stopped just shy of throwing himself into Remus’ arms. He had some self-respect.

“You’re back.”

Remus smiled tiredly at Sirius. “That I am. It’s been a long day. After teaching Harry, I spent some time talking with James and Lily. On my way out, Severus returned from Hogwarts and gave us the news that Dumbledore is finally gone. Harry is safe, and we can rejoin the world.”

Sirius was floored. He knew that Dumbledore was to be killed, but he didn’t really think about what would happen after that. He hadn’t realized that with Dumbledore gone, he could go back to work being and auror. He could make money again, and find a home of his own. And James and Lily didn’t have to hide anymore. They could go to the ministry and prove they weren’t dead. James would be his partner again. They would all get their lives back.

“Sirius?” Remus had a look of concern etched on his face. Sirius hadn’t responded for so long, Remus was starting to think there was something wrong.

“Oh, sorry Moony. I was just thinking. It’s great. I’m glad we can all get back to things. Maybe we can even go house hunting. Find something that’s more our style.”

A queasy feeling settled into Remus’ stomach. He wanted to have a life with Sirius. They’d been together for so long, he could barely imagine anything else. But there was still that part of him that wanted Severus. Ideally, Sirius and Severus would be able to get along, and Remus could have them both. They could even have each other. But Remus knew that would never fly. Sirius and Severus tolerated each other if they had to, but for the most part, it was hatred on both men’s part. Remus would have to make a choice, but he didn’t know how.

How do you go about telling your life partner of 17 years that it was over? And how do you turn your back on a relationship that just feels right? Remus was regretting that he had chosen Sirius over Severus all those years ago. But he was such a different person back then. Back then, he had wanted the approval of his friends more than anything, he wanted to be accepted. If he’d turned away from his friends and chosen to be with Severus, he’d have lost his friends. Remus wasn’t sure if living with only Severus all those years would have been enough for him. Even though James and Lily had spent 11 years in a coma, Remus still felt connected to them. It wasn’t really just him and Sirius. It was Sirius and him with a purpose. It made all of those lonely years worth it.

If Remus didn’t act excited about house hunting, about starting their lives together again, Sirius would get suspicious. Remus wasn’t sure he could get into a fight with Sirius tonight. He was so tired. And selfishly, he didn’t want to go to bed alone, or have to find another place to sleep if Sirius kicked him out. He would have to pretend, at least for tonight, that he was nothing but overjoyed.

“I can’t wait. Well, I can wait until tomorrow. I’m absolutely knackered. Let’s head to bed, okay, Padfoot?”

Sirius’ smile could light up the darkest of nights. “Of course.”

The two men walked hand in hand up the stairs to their room. Any changes would come in the morning.
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The Years After