Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

I Understand	By : LMG67 Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 9627 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Author Notes
- 2-Revelation
- 3-Grief
- 4-Horror
- 5-Thoughts
- 6-Anger
- 7-Training
- 8-Explanation
- 9-Expressions
- 10-Thinking
- 11-Tower
- 12-Pain
- 13-Seperate
- 14-Questions
- 15-Tears
- 16-In their own words
- 17-Tantrum
- 18-Sorrow
- 19-Darkness
- 20-Light
- 21-Passion
- 22-Breath
- 23-Suspicions
- 24-Iggy
- 25-Fear
- 26-Decisions
- 27-Understanding
- 28-Draco
- 29-Harry
- 30-Fallout
- 31-Accidents...
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IGGY

As he was about to burst into the room Madam Pomfrey’s voice shocked him into stopping.

“Draco Ignacio Malfoy, I will not tell you again to sit down!”

Ignacio. Ignacio! Oh my, Harry thought as he tried to force down the giggles. His middle name is
Ignacio.

Harry pushed open the door to see Draco sitting on the bed with a grumpy expression on his petulant
face. He had his arms crossed and was glaring at the medi-witch. His eyes widened slightly as he
saw Harry come into the room. He could tell from the expression on his face that Harry had heard
what the harridan in front of him had just said. Damn it!

Harry leaned against the wall and watched worriedly, but still with a smug expression on his face, as
the witch bandaged a cut on Draco’s arm. Draco and Neville had been in the greenhouse gathering
some kind of plant for a potion they were to brew tomorrow. It looked like the plant won, Harry
thought with a smirk.

As she fussed over Draco, Harry thought back to the dream he’d had last night. A blush crossed his
face as he remembered what the dream had been about, what his dream self had done, and what he
had been on his lips when he had awoken. He had cried out m'ifreann mo pharthas. Draco was and
Harry knew he would always be. He felt himself blush at the memory of that dream and the mess he
had to clean up when he awoke.

Pomfrey turned and seeing Harry raised an eyebrow at him, “Yes, Mr. Potter can I help you?” She
asked.

Harry knew that she was fully aware of what was going on with all of them from the last time he had
been in here two days ago, once again curtsey of Vince, and just nodded to her.

“My ribs,” he whispered trying not to draw to big of a breath.

Muttering something that sounded like ‘talk with that old fool’ but could have been ‘sit on the stool'
she waved her wand and with a disgusted look walked to the cabinet and drew a vial from it. She
handed it to Harry, “Not broken this time just bruised. Drink then bed for you. Do you want to stay
here or can you make it to your room?”

Harry shook his head, he didn’t want to be here unless absolutely necessary, “My room.” He
whispered as he drained the vial.

“You have twenty minutes before the potion kicks in. I suggest Mr. Potter that you don’t dally.”
And she left the two boys in the room.

Harry watched Malfoy closely. This was the first time that they had actually been alone since that
night. M'ifreann mo pharthas whispered in his head as Harry found himself drawn to the other boy.
Oh yes, he definitely was.

Draco watched as Harry walked slowly towards him. His breath caught at the loveliness that Harry
was. His breathing increased as he took another step closer. He gripped the edge of the bed in
anticipation. Oh God, please. He had dreamed about this moment since that night in the infirmary.
He was scared, angry, and overcome with anticipation all at the same time. He made a mental note
to talk with Hermione tomorrow he needed some answers.

Harry stopped just in front of Draco and reaching out lifted his chin until they were looking into
each other’s eyes with their faces mere inches apart. Once again neither boy said a word. Somehow
they didn’t have too.

Harry drew his thumb across Draco’s full bottom lip and heard the other boy sharply draw in a
breath. He watched as his eyes dilated with desire and felt the shiver course through the blonde’s
body.

Draco gripped the bed even harder to stop himself from pulling Harry unto his lap and having a very
wicked time with him. Now was not the time and he knew it but that time would come and soon.
Draco couldn’t hold out much longer. He didn’t really understand what was happening to them but
he knew, deep in his heart, that it was right. It felt right.

Harry smiled softly and backed up a step. He walked backwards to the door never taking his eyes off
Draco, before leaving he looked at him with a small smirk on his face.

“Night Iggy.” He said and then left before the stunned boy could say a word.

~`*`~

He couldn’t believe it! He had called him Iggy! He wouldn’t call him by his name but he would call
him Iggy. Why that sneaky, underhanded...and then to just leave like that. Why that...

Draco trailed off his thoughts as the humor of the situation got to him. He stopped himself from
outright laughing because as every one knows, Malfoy’s do not have nicknames, especially stupid,
funny, totally endearing ones like Iggy.

Draco thought about everything that had happened during the week and he shook his head in
wonder. If anyone had told him last month that he would actually be looking forward to life he
would have hexed him into oblivion. But Draco was looking forward to it, hell; he had even made
plans. Plans that scared him but also gave him hope he was giddy with the hope and his heart and
step was light as he walked down the corridor. Maybe one day he and Harry could do something
with this thing between them, that is if his father was dead, because no way in hell would the elder
Malfoy allow it to happen otherwise. Draco sobered at that thought.

Determining that it was too early to go to bed he decided that his talk with Hermione was way over
due. His respect for the girl had increased this last week. He had secretly taken her aside and
apologized to her for the last six years of torment. She had shook her head and smiling gently gave
him a loose hug and then walked away. He had watched her with a completely dumbfounded look
on his face which Vince and Greg had seen and then teased him mercilessly for it until he had
threatened them to get them to shut up.

He figured that Hermione would be in the Library so he headed that way.

He was lost in his thoughts when he bumped into someone coming from the Dungeons. He groaned
when he saw that it was Bulstrode. He hated that fat cow.

“Well, well, well, what have we here? Where’s your bodyguards Malfoy? Tell me do you still have
to tie their shoes for them?” She said snidely. The ones with her snickered but said nothing, as they
knew that if they did Draco would make their life living hell. He saw some of them roll their eyes at
her and then shake their heads. He was actually surprised at her outburst and in a hallway, no less.

Draco knew that Millicent was going to be a Death Eater, if she wasn’t one already. He doubted she
had the Dark Mark but there were other things that she could be doing for the Dark Lord. Standing
up he straightened his robes and looked haughtily down his nose at her.

“Tell me Bulstrode, have you ever stopped to think and then just forgot to start back again?” He
asked in a very easygoing tone. Draco smiled slightly at her astonished look raising one eyebrow in
question.

“Obviously you have if you think that you can threaten me.” He said in a steely voice that conveyed
his anger and disgust rather plainly.

He watched as she blustered trying to come up with something to say. He glanced at the other
Slytherins and then turning back to her nodded his head as if her actions spoke for themselves.

His gaze took in all the ones that had stopped to listen to the confrontation. He knew that it would be
all over the school by breakfast time the next morning. He stepped closer to the girl and leaning in
close whispered in her ear, “Thought so, just a word of advice Bulstrode, don’t take life too
seriously, no one gets out alive.”

With a last contemptuous look he turned and walked away. He was still seething when he got to the
library. He looked where he normally saw her sitting and was not surprised to find her here with her
head in a book. According to Ron that was where she spent most of her time now that they didn’t
attend regular classes. Walking up to her he waited until she noticed him. When she looked up he
motioned to the seat opposite her and sat when she nodded her head.

“Can I help you Draco or are you here just to stare at me?” Hermione asked after minutes went by
and still he had said nothing.

Draco looked at her and wondered if he could trust her with this. Harry trusts her, whispered
through his mind and he nodded.

“Granger, I need to talk to you,” he said slowly.

“Talking usually involves sounds Malfoy none of which you have utter in the last 5 minutes,” she
said in a laughing tone.

“Sorry I just had a run in with Bulstrode and I am still a bit peeved. I mean who does she think she
is, threatening me?” Draco said still angry that he had lost his temper.

“Well it is so easy to do.” Hermione said with a straight face desperately trying to hold back her
laughter. She could see what Harry saw in him, he was devilishly handsome when he was
aggravated.

Draco gave her an exasperated look and scowled when Hermione burst out laughing unable to
contain her glee any longer.

“Funny,” he murmured. Hermione continued to giggle not able to respond.

“You know something Granger, God must have loved stupid people.”

“And why is that?”

“Cause he made so damn many of them.”

They looked at each other and then both erupted into peals of laughter.

They hushed quickly when Madam Pince stalked over to them and hissed that this was a Library not
a comedy show. Hermione giggled at Draco’s look of confusion but smothered it when the Librarian
sniffed at her.

“What did you need, Draco?” Hermione asked when they had calmed down.

Draco looked serious for a minute before he replied. He sighed, there was no easy way to bring up
the reason he was here. He ran his hand through his hair not caring that he was messing it up from
its usually immaculate appearance.

“Do you know what ‘Táim mar is ga dom bheth’ means?” He asked softly.

“No. Why?”

“Harry said it to me and I need to know what it means.”

Hermione watched him with an unreadable expression on her face. She wasn’t sure if giving this boy
a look into Harry’s mind was a good idea. Seeing the confused and helpless expression that he
probably didn’t know he had on his face, she decided to help him.

“Well, I don’t know what it means but I think I know a way for you to find out.” Hermione said as
she got up and walked to the shelves behind her. Draco got up to follow her not wanting to sit there
while she searched for the book she was looking for.

She walked to a section at the back of the Library where the oldest books were that were still
accessible to the students. She searched until she found a small blue book with no distinguishing
marking s on it.

“I found this last year when I did that extra credit assignment for DADA.” She explained as she
walked back to the table. “It has a list of all the known language revealing spells.”

Draco nodded though not sure how it would help him.

Opening the book Hermione laid it on the table. Taking a piece of paper she asked Draco to once
again say what he had heard Harry whisper as he did she muttered the spell to transfer his words to
the parchment in front of them.

“Táim mar is ga dom bheth” Draco said clearly. He watched as the words appeared on the paper in
front of them. Hermione searched the book until she found the correct spell.

Taking her wand she passed it over the paper and said the spell, “Linguistica Reveolo”

Seconds past as the two watched the paper. One with curiosity and one with fear. Maybe Harry was
saying he didn’t want anything to do with him and that is why he had said it like that, Draco
thought.

Then why did he seem so concerned when he thought you were hurt and why did he do that
to you in the infirmary?

Don’t you have something better to do than bother me?

Nope, sides I wanna see what he meant too

Draco sighed, why do I bother?

Don’t know

Finally words began to appear on the paper. Draco stared at what it said.

Táim mar is gá dom bheith. Irish Gealic, late 1500’s. Translation: I am because I need to be.

Suddenly his legs could hold him no longer and he sat heavily down in the chair beside him.
Hermione watched his reaction with no small amount of worry and confusion. She studied the words
but really could make no sense of them.

Putting her hand on the shoulder of the now shaking boy beside her she asked softly, “Draco, what
did you ask Harry that this would be his answer?”

Draco couldn’t answer her all he could do is shake his head and looked at her with mute appeal.
Hermione nodded and sitting down she took his hand in hers and waited for him to calm down. He
didn’t understand why it had affected him so much. Why those seven words could hurt him so bad.
They really didn’t answer the question but they explained Harry so well, his actions and the choices
that he made all stemmed from those words.

That was what his life was like. God it sounded so lonely.

“Draco?” Hermione whispered worriedly.

“Do you have any idea what it is like to grow up with a parent that hates you?” Draco asked.

Hermione looked at him not knowing if he realized that he was talking out loud. She kept silent
hoping against hope that Draco would figure things out on his own. She did not want to tell him
what she thought she knew.

“All my life I have been told what to do and when to do it. No one ever thought to tell me why. A
Malfoy shouldn’t care about why only the ‘what do I get out of it‘.” She flinched at the bitterness
she heard in his voice.

“Last year, Harry and I had detention. Do you remember it? We had to go to the Forbidden Forrest
and get some kind of plant. Did he ever tell you that he saved my life that night?” Draco looked up
and finally met Hermione’s shocked gaze.

“I guess not.” He said softly.

“We were attacked coming back. It was wolves. I was scared, so scared. I just stood there, I couldn’t
move. One jumped on me and all I could do was lay there and wait for the end to come. I wanted it
to come. I wanted to die. He was yelling at me to run but I couldn’t move. He pulled the wolf off of
me and started throwing hexes everywhere. It was amazing to watch. He used some hexes that I’ve
never even heard of.”

“Finally they ran off and he came over to check to see if I was ok. He healed the cuts that I had and
never said anything. I asked him why he saved me and he said that he had too. I was so angry with
him for that answer. He never said anything else and I don’t think he understood my anger at him for
saving me. He looked tired even then and the fight had taken a lot out of him but he wouldn’t accept
my help in getting back. I...I never spoke to him about that night again. But this, this explains so
much more.”

“That’s when you both backed off.” Hermione said more to herself that to Draco.

Draco heard her so he nodded. “By the end of that year I had went to Dumbledore and our group
was started. I was worried that it would be all over the school the next day how much of a coward I
was. I never understood why he didn’t tell anyone.”

“Harry wouldn’t do that.” Hermione said indigently.

“I know that now.”

“Why did he say this to you?”

“Because I asked him why he thought he had no life.” Draco stated matter of factly.

“Oh!” Hermione gasped out. She turned to look at the paper and everything that Draco had said and
everything that she knew about Harry meshed together.

“I am because I need to be.” She whispered. “Oh Harry,” Hermione could not stop the tears from
falling.

Now it was Draco’s turn to console her until she calmed down.

Hermione started to speak softly, “the first time I saw Harry was on the train ride in our first year.
He and Ron were stuffing their faces with candy and I was helping Neville find his toad. It wasn’t
until later that we actually became friends. I asked him one time why he had come to save me from
the troll and he said because he had too.”

“Every time something happened his answer was because he had too. He had to go after Quirrell. He
had to go after Ginny. He had to go after Wormtail. He had to fight Voldemort. It never occurred to
me that he did what he did because he thought he needed too.” Hermione turned to face Draco and
lifting her hand took his and settled both of them in her lap.

“Slowly over the course of the years he learned to keep a part of himself from even Ron and I.
Nothing we could say would make him tell us what was wrong. We were so worried. Last year
when he stopped fighting with you we thought we had truly lost him. He became distant, sometimes
so cold. And sometimes the old Harry would shine through. Two weeks ago Harry came to us and
told us that the fighting was over.”

Hermione watched as Draco’s face went pale with shock.

“Two weeks ago,” he stuttered.

Hermione nodded and picking up her wand pointed it at Draco. “May I?”

Draco looked at her but did not think that she was going to hex him so he nodded.

Hermione performed the spell for determining bonds and watched as the realization of what it meant
showed on the boys’ face before her.

“No,” he whispered in fear.

Draco was beyond shocked. He had a heart bond and a soul bond.

“Who?” He ground out between frozen lips.

Hermione shook her head sadly, and whispered into the thick silence, “Harry.”

*****************************************************************

m'ifreann mo pharthas -- my hell my paradise. This is Gaelic.

Táim mar is gá dom bheith- I am because I need to be.

Enjoy!

LMG
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I Understand