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All\'s Fair In Love And War	By : jameschick Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 21683 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Night-time Wanderings

Hogwarts is a totally different place when it�s empty. It feels less welcoming, almost hollow. Like the victim of a dementor�s kiss. The body is there, but it�s empty; without soul.
Morbid, I know. I just can�t seem to shake these depressing thoughts.
The Weasleys came and took Ron and Ginny home a couple of weeks ago. Herm went with them. They asked me to come stay but I turned them down.
I know they mean well, but being around them is not what I need right now.
Being around me is not what they need right now either.
Voldemort is dead, the world has reason to celebrate. I would only hold them back.
Draco understands this. He doesn�t feel much like celebrating anything either.
Lucius is missing.
He was freed from Azkaban along with the others, but unlike them, he was not apprehended after the battle. In fact, he wasn�t seen at the battle.
Draco assures me he was likely there. Watching.
That makes me nervous.
I remember what Siri was like when he got out, he wasn�t exactly sane.
And he was innocent.
I can only imagine the madness that Malfoy must suffer.
I don�t even want to think about what he�s planning.
And he is planning. I have no doubt of that.
I have cost him too much for him to leave me in peace.
His master is dead.
His associates are all dead, imprisoned, or kissed.
His name is in ruin.
His fortune seized.
And his son is my lover.
My everything.
No, he won�t let that go unpunished.
Draco assures me that whatever he plans to do, it will be subtle. That even half-mad, Lucius is not foolish enough to confront me face on.
I wish he would; I�d rather like to get it over with.
Maybe then I could sleep at night instead of wandering these empty corridors worried and waiting.
Maybe then, I could be in bed, naked and warm, wrapped around my lover and not freezing my arse off out here in the halls.
Maybe then I would feel like I had something to celebrate.
I know it seems selfish, that with Voldemort gone I should have everything to be happy about. The war is over, I am alive, most of my friends and family made it, school is essentially over, and best of all I have Draco.
Draco who loves me.
Draco who spends every night making love to me, whispering words of forever into my ear as he comes.
Draco who follows me around at night under an Invisibility Cloak to make sure I�m okay.
Draco, who never complains that I inevitably wind up in this room every night.
Our room; Blaise�s and mine.
I know he�s figured out the significance. He�s not stupid.
It�s not that I�m pining away for my dead ex-lover. I�m not. I just don�t understand. I was so sure that he had never really loved me. That he couldn�t have if he was willing to throw it all away for Voldemort. I thought that he must have hated me the way he acted when he came back to school; Parkinson draped all over him like a second skin. But then he went and saved my life.
It just doesn�t make sense.
If he loved me enough to die for me, why did he leave me in the first place?
Unless something happened after he got the mark, something that made him change his mind.
But what?
Was it Draco�s refusal to do as he had done? Was that enough to make him doubt his own actions, or was it something more personal? Was it because I fell in love with Draco? Because he fell in love with me? Did he think he had nothing to live for? That my life was more important than his?
Was that it?
I wish I had the answers, but in a way, I guess I�m glad I don�t. I already feel guilty for his death. Knowing for sure that it�s my fault would only make it worse.
I�m leaving this room. I won�t be back here again.
There is nothing here for me anymore.
No answers.
No sense of peace.
Only more questions and the pain that comes with them.
All I want right now is to crawl back into bed and pull Draco into my arms and kiss him breathless. I want to tell him how much I love him. How much his thoughtfulness these past weeks since the battle has helped me. I want to take care of him the way he has taken care of me.
I want to be the one to make love to him for a change. To let him lay back and surrender to my touch, to know that nothing can harm him so long as I am there.
I want to hear him moan for me, feel him tremble in my arms. I want to sheath myself so deep inside of him that we become one being.
No Harry.
No Draco.
Just this magnificent creature made up of pure love and physical ecstasy.
And I want to continue doing this for the rest of my life.
Our life.
Our life together.
I�ve decided to take a cue from Ron. He and Hermione are engaged. Finally.
I love Draco, and there is no way I�m letting him get away from me. I want the forever he promises with softly panted words in my ear. I want to spend every night of the rest of my life listening to the soft sounds he makes in his sleep. I want to wake up every morning to find him wrapped in my arms.
Or myself wrapped in his.
In short, I want to marry him.
All I need is a ring and a shot of that famous Gryffindor courage.
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All\'s Fair In Love And War