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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy	By : AnasellaEmm Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Draco/Hermione Views: 75943 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 23
- 24
- 25
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All Harry Potter related characters, places and themes belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury and Scholastic.
A/N: Last chapter! Don’t worry, there’s still the epilogue and the sequel! The chapter title comes from the story’s title song “Build God, Then We’ll Talk” by Panic! At the Disco.
Chapter 24: A Few More of Your Least Favorite Things
Zane looked up from the meeting he was having with his two dinosaurs, Rosie and Posey, when his father walked into his room.
“Hi, Daddy,” Zane said.
“What are you up to, Z?” Draco asked as he took a seat on the small bed.
“Talking to Rosie and Posey. We’re getting ready for when Wolf comes over to play,” Zane explained.
“Big plans, then?”
“Maybe,” Zane shrugged, a small smile on his face. “We’re going to play a lot of games.”
“Your mother is making a surprise for the two of you,” Draco smiled.
“Cookies?!” Zane squealed.
“Maybe.”
“I think it’s cookies. Mummy always makes me cookies when I’ve been a good boy, and haven’t I been a good boy, Daddy?”
“You’ve been great,” Draco said. “I’m very proud of you.”
“Gampa said that he’s going to get me any toy I want,” Zane told his dad, walking up to him and climbing up into his lap. “Gamma said that Gampa is a softie. What’s a softie?”
Draco laughed and hugged his son tight. “That just means that your grandfather loves you very much.”
“Oh, me too!” Zane said. “Where are my cookies?”
“Go find your mum and you’ll find out.”
Zane was out of his father’s lap in an instant, shooting off into the hallway and calling for his mother. He found her in the living room, reading an educational journal and sipping a mug of tea. “I have a surprise?”
Hermione looked up and smiled at him. “Yes, but you have to wait until Wolf comes over.”
Zane pouted and walked sluggishly over to the couch. “Fine. Can I have a bigger piece of cookie than Wolf?”
“I think you should have an equal piece,” Hermione told him. “Now, go tell your father to stop ruining my surprises or he won’t get any cookies.”
Zane laughed. “Daddy’s gonna be in trouble!” He ran off to find his father and share the horrific news. No cookies! How dreadful!
Hermione laughed and settled back to her reading, her mind drifting over to how happy she was. Really, no one should be as happy as she currently was. It had been a week since Zane was brought back to them, since they were made whole again. That entire week had been filled with visitors to their flat, which included Narcissa having to practically be dragged out of the flat by her husband when all she wanted to do was sit and be with her grandson for many, many hours.
Zane was constantly happy, always seeking out his mother and father for a hug and kiss if they didn’t seek him out first. He was back at home where he belonged and no one was going to take him away from his family again.
Hermione and Draco were still working on their relationship, letting Zane stay with the Lupins, Hermione’s parents, his paternal grandparents, the Weasleys, or Donny and Oliver while they spent some time alone to talk and work through the few problems they had.
Fred and George had received an anonymous donation to their joke-shop, a very big one that could really have only come from one source. They tried to thank Draco, but he pretended he had no idea what they were talking about. The second donation was even bigger and when they told Draco that they were beyond grateful and didn’t really need it, he told them he had nothing to do with any second donations. The source of the second donation would never be revealed to anyone, and Lucius would want to keep it that way.
After the second week Zane had been home, Donny had offered to take him out for lunch, because she complained that she never got to hang out with him one-on-one. It was a bright Saturday in late August and after lunch, Zane and Donny walked through the streets of Diagon Alley, giggling at random things and racing each other from different points.
“Can we see Unca Fred and Unca George at their store?” Zane asked as they looked through the window of Quidditch Quality Supplies.
“Sure,” Donny replied, taking his small hand in hers as they crossed the street. “Would you like to get some ice cream afterwards?”
“YES!” Zane said, squeaking in excitement.
They made their way over to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes and entered the store behind a group of teenagers. Donny wove them through the crowded room towards the back where George stood at the register with his wife ringing up items.
“Unce George!” Zane screamed over the noise. “Hi!”
“Zane!” George smiled. “Come on back here. Are you babysitting Miss Donny today?”
“No, that’s silly!” Zane giggled up at Miss Donny who smiled back.
“Hi, Zane, how are you?” George’s wife, Catherine, asked.
“I’m fine,” Zane said. “Can I talk to Unca George and Unca Fred in private?”
Catherine smiled at him and nodded. George leaned over the counter and picked Zane up, making airplane noises to offset Zane’s laughs. “Let’s go find that wayward brother of mine, shall we?”
They found Fred in the backroom stacking boxes and checking the inventory. “You got a second there, Fred? We have some serious business over here with Zane.”
Fred peeked around a stack of boxes and smiled over at them. “Serious business is my second favorite type of business.”
George set Zane down on a box and leaned against the wall to listen to the young boy. Fred walked over to where they were and gave Zane a handshake, the ones where Zane’s whole body shook. After the little boy stopped giggling, he stood up and reached into his pocket.
Fred and George watched Zane pull out two sickles and a galleon. “Can I buy something?”
“Oh, mate, you know you don’t have to pay for anything here,” George said.
Zane shook his head and held out the three coins to the twins. “I want to buy the stuff for Pansy’s hair and her stinky clothes. I don’t want her to be sad and mad of me anymore.”
The twins stared at Zane for a long while, watching his wide eyes look back at them unwaveringly. “You want to buy her the antidotes?”
“You said that she can buy the stuffs to make her hair come back and to make her not stinky from your store. I want to buy them for her, and then Daddy or Mummy can send them to her so that she can stop being sad. Her hair was very pretty before it all went away. It was the same color like Miss Donny.”
“But Pansy was horrible to you,” Fred explained.
“She wasn’t horrible all of the time,” Zane said. “She made me Posey, and she gave me an ice cream once. Jello played a game with me with some pretty cards, and I won the game! I don’t know if I have enough moneys to buy the stuff for Pansy. Maybe Daddy can give you some more if I don’t have it all.”
They exchanged a glance with each other, always surprised with what came out of that kid’s mouth.
“Can I buy the stuffs?” Zane asked again.
“Of course you can, mate,” George sighed. “We’ll send them over to her on an overnight owl post.”
“Thank you, Unca George! Thank you, Unca Fred!” Zane happily said, hugging their legs. He opened his hand and offered them the money. “Don’t tell Pansy that I buyed the stuffs for her hair and her stinky clothes. I wanna be it a surprise!”
“You can keep your money, mate and buy yourself a big, big ice cream,” Fred said.
Zane thought about this for a moment. “But I’m a big boy, and I can pay at the store by myself.”
“I can’t take money from him with a clean conscience,” Fred whispered to George. “He’s killing me here.”
“Okay Zane, you can pay all by yourself,” George said, leading the boy out of the backroom out into the store. “The price will be one sickle.”
Zane looked down at his hand and frowned.
“It’s the silver one, mate,” Fred said from behind him.
Zane picked up a silver coin and handed it to George once they reached the register. “Don’t forget about our secret, Unca George, Unca Fred!”
George nodded and slipped Donny the silver sickle and waited for Zane to become busy with putting his money back in his pockets for him to lean over and tell Donny to give Zane the money back discreetly.
The twins watched the little boy and Donny leave the store. “He sure knows how to take you on a guilt trip,” Fred complained as they went back to work. “Makes me almost want to go apologize to that cow over in France.”
“Almost being the key word,” George smiled.
Blaise looked up from his paperwork when his doorbell rang. He looked up at the clock in his living room to find it only eight in the evening. It couldn’t be Draco because it was almost Zane’s bedtime. It couldn’t be his mother, Mrs. Zabini, because she was over at some godforsaken resort in Spain probably banging the hotel staff and local tourists.
He sighed as he put down his quill and sauntered over to the front door. He still hadn’t changed out of his work clothes, but had only taken off his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt.
He forgot to check through the peephole as he opened the door and found Miss Rhonda Westin standing on his doorstep. She stared at him with quickly blinking eyes behind lopsided glasses. She was back in dark brown robes that did not flatter at all. But, she was like a breath of fresh air for Blaise as he stared right back at her.
“Hi, Mr. Zabini,” she stuttered. “I, um, had a question to ask.”
“Why don’t you come in,” he asked, moving back to let her in.
Her eyes widened and she bit her lip harder. “Um, okay.” She walked in tentatively and smiled shakily as he closed the door behind them.
“What did you want to ask me?” he asked.
She looked down at her hands and then pushed her glasses to the other side, only moving the crookedness slightly to the right. “I, uh, well, you see, this is going to sound strange, or something… uh, well, I was wondering if you… um, do you want to grab dinner sometime?”
Blaise smiled at her, her eyes pointed towards the ground and her hands fidgeting. “I’d love to.”
“Really?” she looked up quickly and blinked at him. “Um… really?”
He almost laughed. “Yes, really. You’re quite a girl, Rhonda.”
She grimaced at that. “I hate my name.”
“Yeah?”
“I really don’t like it. My friends call me…” she blushed. “It’s stupid.”
“What do they call you?”
“Doddy,” she muttered. “It’s the last syllable of my name and a little extra. I mean, it isn’t great, but anything is better than Rhonda.”
“Doddy?” he asked.
“You can go ahead and laugh. I can see you struggling not to,” she smiled. “It won’t bother me.”
“Good,” he said before chuckling softly. “I like a girl that can poke fun at herself.”
“Thank you,” she said with another smile. “I’m not really good at the whole social thing. I have my few friends and I haven’t dated in ages, you know, trying to get my career settled. But, I just found myself at your doorstep and I, uh, I really like you, Mr. Zabini.”
“Blaise,” he corrected, “and I like you, too, Doddy.”
She laughed at that and choked on her laugh when Blaise stepped up to her and put his hands on her face to fix her glasses. He winked at her and then leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips.
He’d kissed many women, many, but none had ever tasted as sweet and pure as the woman in his arms. She was soft where a girl was supposed to be soft and had smooth skin anywhere he touched.
He pulled away slowly and smiled at how wide her smile had gotten.
“I was thinking of getting contact lenses,” she whispered. “But I think I’ll stay with the glasses.”
“Good decision,” he said before he leaned down and kissed her again, knocking thoughts of glasses, lenses, poor vision, and anything else out of their minds.
“Hermione!” Draco yelled from the kitchen. “Get the door, please!”
Hermione looked up from the laundry and put down a folded shirt on the edge of the bed. She passed by Zane’s room where she heard Zane and Wolf playing swords, or Dragon fight, or some other crazy game only they understood.
She poked her head into the kitchen to find Draco putting away the dishes and trying to get the mop to clean the floor on its own. He was having no luck. She kept going past the kitchen and opened the front door to Narcissa and Lucius, looking their best in their fine robes, as was usual of course.
“Hermione, darling,” Narcissa greeted her daughter-in-law. “How are you?”
She hugged her quickly and floated into the house. Lucius tilted his head politely in Hermione’s direction. Typical.
“I’m fine, Narcissa,” Hermione said, closing the door and walking with them to the living room. “How are the two of you? Are you excited about your trip?”
Narcissa shrugged delicately. “It should be fun. Our tour of the Mediterranean is always nice.”
“Let me go tell Draco that you’re here,” Hermione said and walked to the kitchen.
Narcissa turned to Lucius and smiled as he wrapped his strong fingers around her hand as they took a seat on the couch. “I see you’ve been using my hand moisturizer,” she told him.
Lucius raised an eyebrow. “I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Really, you could use the one that doesn’t have the glitter in it if you’re going to try to be sneaky,” she said with a straight face.
He snatched his hand back and looked at it. Discovering no glitter, he turned a glare to his wife. “I didn’t use the one with glitter.”
She burst into soft laughter. “Oh, Lucius, I do love you so.”
He rolled his eyes, but she caught the slight smile on his face right as Draco and Hermione walked back into the living room. Lucius’s manicuring tendencies could wait.
The younger couple was also holding hands, causing Lucius to roll his eyes once again and nearly gag. God, I hope Narcissa and I didn’t look like that at any point in our marriage. Lovesick puppies. Makes me sick.
Draco walked to the couch to greet his mother and shake hands with his father.
“We’re glad you came,” he said, taking a seat across from them in an armchair.
“We’re always happy to, sweetheart,” Narcissa said.
“We actually have some news,” Hermione said, taking a seat in the armchair next to Draco’s.
“You’re separating?” Narcissa asked with a horrified gasp. “I mean, I know today is supposed to be the day you two were supposed to end your marriage, but I thought you loved each other and Zane has only been back for two months. You can’t do this to him. You two are so perfect together…”
“Narcissa!” Lucius snapped. “Good Lord, woman, close your mouth for a minute.”
She gave him a cold look and turned back quickly to Hermione and Draco.
“Mum, where on earth do you get your ideas?” Draco asked.
“Just tell us,” Narcissa whined uncharacteristically.
Draco looked to Hermione and she smiled. “Well, I just came back from visiting my parents,” she started to say.
“MUMMY AND DADDY ARE GOING TO GIVE ME A LITTLE BROTHER OR SISTER!!” Zane’s yell came from the entryway of the living room.
Four heads turned in his direction where he stood with Wolf. He was smiling at them, and Wolf was giggling behind his hand. “Let’s go play ninja dogs!”
“Okay!” Zane readily agreed. “I get to be the troll this time!”
The two boys ran off giggling down the hallway where they had come from, as if they hadn’t just ruined such a momentous moment.
“Was he joking?” Narcissa broke the silence first.
Hermione smiled. “No. He was telling the truth.”
“I was beginning to think you were shooting blanks there, son,” Lucius said.
“Thank you, father,” Draco said dryly. “Your comments are always appreciated.”
“You’re with child?” Narcissa asked slowly.
“Yes,” Hermione replied with a nod. “About a month and a half along if my estimates are right.”
“You’re going to have a baby?” she asked again.
Maybe she was losing her mind? Or maybe she was in denial? Draco and Hermione shared a worried look. Lucius just rolled his eyes again.
“Yes,” Hermione and Draco said at the same time “We’re going to have a baby.”
--
Zane and Wolf had to close their ears at the very loud scream they heard coming from the living room.
Wolf looked at Zane with his head tilted to the side as the screaming stopped. “That sounded like Miss Donny when Unca Woodie came to school and gave her that pretty ring.”
“Yeah,” Zane agreed. “I wonder if Gamma got a pretty ring, if that’s why she’s screaming.”
“Maybe,” Wolf said, “but Unca Woodie also brought flowers, and he was wearing nice clothes. I didn’t see any flowers when you just said your mummy and daddy were going to give you a new brother or sister.”
“Do you think Gamma is going to kiss Gampa like Miss Donny kissed Unca Woodie for a long time when he gave her that pretty ring?”
Wolf thought for a moment. “No. Kissing is yucky.”
“Yeah, kissing is the yuckiest thing in the whole wide world! It’s yuckier than bogies and yuckier than poopies!”
At that, the two boys burst into peals of laughter.
If only all the silly growmups in the world knew how yucky kissing was! Really, it’s even yuckier than poopies!
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A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy