Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Matters of the Heart	By : strawberryf1re Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 34556 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe (characters, settings, etc.) ŠJ.K. Rowling. No profits are made from this work.

Chapter List
- 23
- 24
- 25
Rating: M – inappropriate for readers under the age of 16; contains scenes of explicit sexuality and violence.

Disclaimer: Characters and settings ©J.K. Rowling

Matters of the Heart

K. Marie

Chapter 24

Hermione's eyes widened. Severus was steadily holding her gaze, his heart beating so rapidly he didn't think it would be able to keep its pace for much longer. His right hand was grasping her left hand firmly, his thumb toying with the ring he placed there. She opened her mouth to speak, but then it closed without a word. Opened, closed.

To Severus, it was an eternity before a word was spoken. As her hesitancy became apparent, the Potions Master suddenly became very critical of acting on such a spontaneous urge; he had not planned to ask her, he had not thought it through – he simply asked. And now, he regretted it. They had only been seeing each other for five months; he may be old enough to know what it felt like to truly want to spend his life with another human being – after all, he had lived nearly half his life alone – but Hermione? She was barely eighteen. For all Severus knew, he was her first love (he did not know how Hermione had felt towards Ron, but from the information he gathered during their Occlumency lessons, the relationship was short-lived); there was no way she could know if he was the man she wanted to be with until she died.

Her hesitancy to answer confirmed that fact. Severus could not tear his eyes from hers, and briefly, he was tempted to read her, to violate her privacy – but he couldn't. What a perfect foundation to a marriage, wasn't it? Betrayal, deceit, distrust – Severus scoffed internally. His cynical mind was beginning to make him bitter as he waited for her answer.

"Severus…" Hermione began, her voice hesitant and cautious. "I… I need time."

For the Potions Master, she may have well rejected him. Rationally, he understood that to answer such an important proposal without thought was a moronic move, and Hermione was anything but stupid. But emotionally, he was reacting, and even though she had not actually said no, the churning of his guts suggested otherwise.

In that moment, Severus Snape only regretted raping Hermione more than irrationally asking for her hand in matrimony. There was a myriad of reasons why marrying him would be a mistake; for Severus, he realized, his asking such a question was disgustingly selfish. He could not guarantee his time on this planet, and to drag her into that – it was egocentric, as though her own feelings, her own future, were of no consequence if it meant he could be happy.

Severus kissed her gently and he nodded. Forcing compassion into his voice, he said, "Of course. I would not expect you to answer immediately. This is an important decision."

Hermione smiled nervously. "Yes, it is."

Inside, Hermione was panicking. His sudden proposal was incredibly unexpected and if she were to act on her emotions, she would have exclaimed an eager and ecstatic yes. She loved Severus more than anything in the world, and she knew she wanted to spend her life with him – nearly losing him just an hour previous made her realize just how much that was true. Her fear was that she would not feel that way in a year, or in two, or in ten; and before making such a decision, she wanted to be sure it was right for both of them. Certainly he could know if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he had already lived nearly half of his years on this planet. But Hermione, she still had many, many years, and would she desire to spend them with Severus?

What scared her the most, suddenly, was that he was so much older than she. He was nearly twenty years her senior; would he die twenty years earlier than she? Would she be mourning the death of her parents and her husband in grim succession? The thought made Hermione ill just to consider it. Rationally, she knew the lifespan for a wizard surpassed that of a Muggle – but by how much? How old was Dumbledore?

Sitting down at the kitchen table, Hermione's father called to his daughter. Striding in quickly from the living room, Hermione turned her head in curiosity at him. Softly, he tapped the table, and Hermione took a seat.

"Honey," he started, his voice uncertain. Hermione's interests were peaked at his hesitancy to speak.

"Dad, what is it?" she asked him, leaning onto the table.

"Well, you're… you're almost seventeen, and… well, I know you're with Ron. And he's a nice boy, but…"

Hermione's cheeks flushed. She couldn't believe her father was trying to have this conversation with her. She began to stand from the table, refusing to discuss this with him, when he grabbed hold of her wrist.

"I just wanted to tell you… before you choose to marry someone... be sure to experience all four seasons. See how they change."

"Severus," Hermione said steadily. "I love you. With all of my heart, all of my soul. Of that much, I am certain." She paused, as though considering her next sentence very carefully. The silence only worsened Severus' apprehension, but as a smile crossed her lips, he heaved a sigh. "My father… the summer before my sixth year, when I was dating Ron… he sat down with me, and he told me to experience all four seasons before deciding if I loved someone enough to stay with them for the rest of my life."

Anxiety abated, Severus slowly stood. Hermione pulled on her jeans and wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him close to her. She had no idea just how comforting that simple gesture was for the Potions Master in that moment: his concerns rested in the fear that he had just ruined their beautiful relationship by rushing her. Her statement, her logical rationale, soothed those fears.

"Your father is a wise man," Severus said, matter-of-factly. "He failed to mention, though, that once you reach a certain age, you no longer need that experience to know if you are in love until the end."

Hermione smiled, nodding slowly. "Yes, he did fail to mention that… but it must have been the fact I was only sixteen at the time." A small laugh escaped her lips, and Severus smiled. She stroked his face gently, the rough stubble of his chin scratching against the soft pads of her fingers. "Such… such an exhausting afternoon," she whispered, resting her head against his chest.

He said nothing, but instead turned from her and approached his office. She followed him, and together, they made their way to his rooms.

For Severus Snape, minutes felt like hours, hours like days, days like weeks. He was waiting (pseudo)patiently for Hermione's answer to his proposal, never once mentioning it to her. She failed to mention it as well, and while they did not spend less time together, and while no aspects of their relationship had changed – the absence of discussion about engagement made Severus ill to think of. He did not want to push her to make a decision; he wanted her to want to spend her life with him, not to feel like he forced her into it.

It was curious, to Severus, because he would have assumed that such anxieties would have hampered his ability to make love to her, or, at the very least, soured his mood towards her. But if anything, it seemed, he was a more passionate lover, and (if judging by her reactions) capable of pleasuring her more thoroughly. He desired her company more intensely those days following his proposal, and felt a deeper ache when she had to leave each morning.

Hermione was a rational, logical woman, and it was one of the many things he loved about her. If she had rashly answered his proposal without taking some time to consider it, it would have been uncharacteristic of her. Severus was very aware of that, and because of it he did not wish to push her to make a decision. He would wait an eternity if he must, but he would much prefer not to!

He knew it must have been on the forefront of her mind, just as it was on his. And yet, it was the one thing they both refused to mention, the metaphorical elephant in the room.

As the week ended, Severus' agitation was becoming increasingly apparent to his students. During his classes, he was brutally critical, failing to discriminate between his own students and those of the other houses. As the students worked from their cauldrons, he would pace the head of the class, his shoulders tense and his mind whirling. Occasionally, he stalked through the rows of desks, a scathing remark biting at the students as they worked. By the end of the class periods, his mood had only soured further, and the students were in no hurry to remain in the classroom longer than what was required of them.

She did not overlook this detail when she was in his class that Friday. The students' assignment was to brew an enlargement potion, and while they were busy brewing, he snaked through the aisles, his sharp tongue failing to discriminate between his students and the others. The only student who seemed to possess some immunity to his snide criticisms was Hermione, and she didn't fail to notice this fact, either. While everyone else received a scathing comment about their incompetence, Severus merely bypassed her completely.

The Head Girl did not know how to react to this. None of the other students seemed to notice; not even Malfoy, who usually couldn't keep his eyes off the couple. But even so, his temperament that Friday was off, very off, and for Severus to completely ignore her (which, a year ago, she would have preferred, but now?), she worried it may spark suspicions in others.

After the class was dismissed, Hermione lingered behind. While the classroom emptied, Hermione was deliberately sluggish in packing her things away. As the last student departed, she stood, her bag heaved over her shoulder, and began to approach his office door.

"Trouble in paradise?"

The voice was so unexpected, that when Hermione jumped, she dropped her bag. It crashed to the floor, and in a whirl, she was facing Malfoy. The Slytherin was wearing his trademark sneer, his hands tucked into his pockets. With her eyes quickly scanning the room, she noticed his bag was still by his workstation. He had never intended to leave, either.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione asked, retrieving her bag from the floor and slinging it over her shoulder. She slowly slipped her hand in her pocket, her fingers reaching for the handle of her wand.

"Nothing in particular," he replied, shrugging his shoulders. "I just thought it odd that Snape was treating us Slytherins as bad as he usually treats you, Mudblood."

"And?" Hermione had little patience for this boy anymore. Her hand was tightly grasping her wand, tucked away in the pocket of her robes. Not another incident like before break. She refused to let Malfoy ever get that close to her again.

"Well, I just thought maybe I'd ask him what was wrong. Unless, of course, you know," his pointed face bore an ugly smile.

Hermione turned on her heel, tired of dealing with him. As she began to stride towards Severus' office, she panicked when she felt strong fingers grasp her wrist. Faster than she thought possible, she had spun on her heel, her wand brandished and pointed at his face.

"Don't you ever touch me," she hissed.

"Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you," he retorted. "I swear you filthy Mudbloods have no sense of respect!"

In a flash, Malfoy was suspended in the air by one of his ankles. His black school robes turned down, covering his head, while his arms flailed uselessly about in front of him, reaching for Hermione, but grasping nothing but air. He was spewing profanities at her, the volume of his voice elevated.

"You really ought to think, Malfoy," Hermione said coolly. "I don't know how many times I've bested you—"

"Granger, Malfoy," an oily voice came from behind her. It was calm and quiet, but there was no mistaking his irritation. "Care to explain yourselves?"

"That – filthy – Mudblood—augh!" Hermione, startled by Severus' sudden voice, released Draco from the curse, and he crashed painfully to the ground.

"Professor Snape," Hermione began, cautiously. He turned to her, his eyebrows raised in feigned curiosity. "I—well, he—" Grimly, she realized her argument of 'he started it' would not suffice, and she lowered her eyes to the stone floor.

Malfoy had risen from the floor, smoothing his robes out with a scowl. His piercing gray eyes never left the back of Hermione's head. Cautiously, Severus kept his eye on the Slytherin Prefect, though he knew that Malfoy would do nothing with the Potions Master present. Even yet, that glare was disconcerting to the man.

Turning his attention back to his apprentice, his voice was a low rumble. "You should know better, as Hogwarts' precious Head Girl, than to curse your classmates. Five points from Gryffindor and you shall be serving a detention with me, tonight."

Malfoy scoffed. "As if serving detention with you is punishment."

Severus turned on Malfoy, his black eyes narrowed. "Last I was aware, you were not qualified to decide what is an appropriate punishment."

For a moment, it seemed that Severus had silenced Malfoy's protests. Hermione stood aside from them, watching their exchange. She had to suppress a laugh as her lover assigned her a detention, especially with him. Briefly, she pondered what sort of disciplinary actions he may take against her, and she blushed slightly; surely, it wouldn't be anything too severe, and she hoped that it would take place within his bed!

Malfoy turned from Severus, retrieving his bag from his desk. At the doorway, he stopped, his hand resting on the doorjamb, and in a quiet, disgusted voice, he whispered:

"Last I was aware, teachers didn't have sex with students."

And he left them, the heavy dungeon door slamming on its hinges. Hermione looked to Severus, who, without looking at her, had turned and stalked to his office. The smile that played about her lips slowly faded, and with concern, she followed him.

Severus was pacing behind his desk, his long black robes billowing at his feet. His hands were tense, his brow furrowed, his lips pale. Hermione gently closed the door behind her, and as it shut, she heard the quiet click of the lock. Almost simultaneously, the room felt heavier, as if the air itself was thicker, and she knew he had cast an imperturbable charm on the room. Suddenly, she felt ill, as she knew that his intention was to soundproof the room.

In a whirl of black, Severus slammed his hands on his desktop. The loud clap of flesh against wood startled Hermione, who had been sitting quietly in the chair across his desk. "What was that?" He demanded, his voice a low, dangerous whisper.

Hermione leaned back in her chair, clutching her bag to her chest. She was taken aback by his anger. "Wh-what?"

"How would you have had me handle that situation?" his voice was icy, his anger boiling under the surface.

"Severus, he—"

"I do not care what he did, Hermione." Severus' fingers wrapped around the edges of his desk, his grip so tight his knuckles were paper white. "However, I am very interested in how you thought you had any right to curse another student."

"But Severus—"

"Have I not already explained to you that if you are going to act like a childish student, I shall treat you as one? You are not to garner any special privileges as a result of our relationship," Severus leaned in closer to her, his hot breath on her face.

"I don't expect to!" Hermione cried, standing suddenly from her chair. "Severus, if that's what you think—" She paused, shaking her head, as though the thought was too ludicrous to actually speak. "Severus, he grabbed me! He grabbed me, and it scared me, and so I did what I had to do to get away from him." Her voice was shrill and rapid. "I refuse to… I can't let that happen again! I won't let it happen again!" Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. "No!"

Her hands were trembling as she spoke, her eyes glossy and red from her tears. Severus backed away from her, his face softening with realization. As Hermione collapsed into the chair once more, pulling her legs to her chest, Severus knew whatever Malfoy had done, however minor an action it seemed to Severus, had definitely warranted her reaction.

"Hermione," he said, his voice soft. "While you may have very well had reason to use magic against Malfoy, I must insist that you not resort to that in the future. This is the second time, and your behavior placed me in a very bad position." Slowly, he lowered himself to his chair and folded his hands on his desk. His concern for her well-being had forced all thoughts of anger and frustration from his mind. "In order to protect you, it is imperative that in the public eye, I treat you no differently—"

"Isn't that something," Hermione said suddenly, her voice hot with anger. "You didn't seem to feel that way an hour ago! I was the only student you didn't criticize!"

Once again, Severus' patience for her insubordination was waning. He did not want to lash out at her in anger, for she very well had reason to be upset, but her insistence on grating at his nerves seemed deliberate. Leaning back in his chair, his hand grasping the arm tightly, Severus released a heavy sigh.

"Hermione, I have every reason to be irritable," he said slowly.

Severus closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the chair. He did indeed have very good reason to be so irascible. While he did not want to direct such hot-temperedness at her, it wasbecause of her he was feeling such petulance. He loosened his grip on the arm of his chair only to tighten it once more, as though trying to transfer his anger into the furniture.

She rubbed roughly at her eyes. "Severus, I'm sorry," she whispered quietly. "I don't know why I'm so sensitive lately."

"Hermione, it is reasonable that you are apprehensive around aggressive men," Severus said, his voice slow, as though he was choosing his words very carefully. "It is even more reasonable that you react defensively at the first sign of aggression." His eyes lowered to his desk. "But…"

"I just thought that perhaps Malfoy was tired of harassing me," Hermione said. "This was the first time since before break he had even spoken to me."

Severus nodded slowly. "Yes, I know."

"He knows, Severus. I have no doubt that he knows," Hermione's voice was no longer trembling, but she was still curled into a ball on the chair. "Before… I wasn't so sure. But I have no doubt now."

Severus leaned forward on his desk, combing his fingers back through his hair. He rested his forehead in his hands. "Yes, I know. What interests me is how he discovered it and why he has not yet told anyone."

Letting her legs fall, Hermione shook her head slowly. "I don't know, Severus."

The Potions Master suddenly stood, coming around the desk to Hermione. She watched him as he kneeled by her chair, grasping her left hand in his. The ring he had placed there remained, and as he stared at it, the gemstone glowing brightly, Hermione's heart started racing.

He kissed the sapphire before bringing his lips to hers. After a tender moment, he pulled away and stared into her eyes. "Hermione, I love you."

She smiled, leaning in to kiss him once more. With her hand gently stroking the side of his face, she whispered: "I love you too, Severus."

Severus stared irritably at the ugly gargoyle statue that guarded Dumbledore's office. He could not comprehend the Headmaster's obsession with Muggle sweets, but he often struggled to recall the password of the week. As the Potions Master studied the statue, he had tried several passwords already, and his patience was waning.

"Cherry licorice," he growled. No response. "Licorice snaps." Nothing. Severus wrapped his hand around the arm of the gargoyle, squeezing so tightly his knuckles paled white. He had not the patience to deal with this foolishness. "Butterscotch bites." Finally, the gargoyle permitted him passage, and Severus climbed the stairs.

"Come in, Severus," Albus greeted his Potions Master, holding a dish of candy to him. Severus politely refused and took a seat across from the Headmaster.

Leaning forward in his chair, Severus held his head in his hands, tangling his fingers through his hair. Dumbledore patiently waited across from him, his ancient hands folded atop his desk, his light blue eyes glittering kindly.

"Headmaster," Severus began slowly. He hadn't the slightest idea how to begin this conversation, nor the repercussions of it. Best to just get it over with. "I am almost certain Malfoy knows."

The Headmaster bristled at this news, shifting in his seat and leaning forward to rest on his elbows. Steepling his fingers together before him, he carefully considered the younger wizard sitting across from him, but said nothing. Severus looked up at him, the deep lines of his face exaggerated in his anxiety.

"We had our doubts, Headmaster," Severus said quietly. "But we were wrong."

Severus studied Dumbledore's face, his black eyes flickering over the deep wrinkles that told the tale of a long and difficult life. The Headmaster did not even motion to respond to his statement, and the silence weighing in on them only burdened Severus further.

Finally, Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed, Severus. I suspected this for some time, and I am not surprised that you come to me now."

Severus combed his fingers through his hair, leaning back in the chair. He let his head roll against the back of the chair, breathing a frustrated sigh.

"What I find curious, Severus," he continued, "is that they have not told anyone but me."

"I thought that strange as well," Severus replied, straightening in the chair. "Draco has been harassing Hermione nearly the entire school year, as though he knew from the moment it began. She has been forced to use magic against him in order to protect herself."

Dumbledore's face darkened as he listened to Severus. Leaning forward onto his desk, the Headmaster examined Severus' face. After a long moment, he asked: "Severus, is there something you are not telling me involving Miss Granger?"

Severus' expression did not change as he held Dumbledore's steady gaze. For a brief moment, he considered confessing to Dumbledore the exact root of their relationship, that he had in fact raped the girl he loved so dearly now, and that she had chosen not to report him because she knew just how important he was to the cause.

And then Severus' sanity returned to him, and he shook his head. "No, sir."

Dumbledore lowered his chin, eyeing Severus over his spectacles. "Very well." After a brief silence, he leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses. Pinching the crooked bridge of his nose, he allowed his eyes to close as he spoke. "Have you any idea why they would only be interested in informing me?"

Severus shook his head. "If their objective was to remove me from Hogwarts, telling as many people as possible would serve their means."

"Which leaves us with the question then, what is their objective by only informing me?" Dumbledore responded quietly.

"That is the question, isn't it?" Severus said grimly.
- 23
- 24
- 25
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Matters of the Heart