The Search Is Over, A Kreacher/Regulus Black fic | By : blaisegellert Category: Harry Potter > General > General Views: 1156 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Mature content, violence, sex. A Harry Potter fandom, no money is made off this project. |
Over the next few weeks, Regulus struggled to manage his own misery. It was always there, like some unwanted guest, tainting everything he did. Constantly feeling emotionally torn asunder made it not only difficult to function, but also difficult to care about the distractions needed to survive through such pain.
Dora suggested they visit a Muggle library so that Regulus could investigate the fictional texts on magic to which Dora had referred in some of their very first conversations. He knew he should either be intrigued or appalled but it was difficult to feel either when he just felt miserable. He allowed her to drag him to the library, though, because he dared not return to a wizarding one at this point. Being presumed dead made him reluctant to frequent wizarding areas in case it alerted Voldemort and thus endangered his family.
He noted in some relief that the library was at least clean. He browsed the history section while Dora went for the books she thought he may enjoy that she referred to as fantasy. She seemed to believe such works would distract him. He fluctuated between wanting to suffer and feeling that a distraction may serve as a necessary respite for his mind.
They spent perhaps an hour in the library, and left with several books each. Regulus found a book on European history of the dark ages, and one on classical composers while Dora found four books of fantasy that she thought he should read. All four books formed a series called Lord of the Rings. For his part, Regulus couldn't imagine why a lord needed so many rings if all the books were about them.
Over the next several days, Regulus spent most of his time reading the books. At first it was very difficult to concentrate because his thoughts would wander back to the general sources of his misery. Wondering what Kreacher was doing and how he was, worrying over the Lestranges, grieving his father, being concerned for his mother, then wondering what Kreacher was doing again.
At times that shifted to simply wallowing in how much he missed Kreacher or mentally playing over the conversations they could have about Muggle libraries and books were Kreacher with him now. Though Regulus hated to admit it, the Muggle books were intriguing. Perhaps Kreacher would say the books were truly written by wizards, and perhaps they were. Eventually Regulus became less distractible and could read nearly one hundred pages before painful thoughts returned.
When not brooding with books in his room, Regulus was practicing his vampiric skills. It was easier than he expected to catch someone's gaze and suggest to them what he wanted them to do, think or remember. Telling someone to follow him, for example, never met with resistance.
When he asked Dora how she got money when having to borrow a bit from her to buy Mortis some food, she explained that she took it from her victims. Regulus began looking for bad people with money after that. This made the process of hunting down his dinner take a bit more time but it was worth it. It wasn't as if he had anything better to do, after all.
When he found someone both rotten and rich, he used his newly learned vampiric hypnotism on them to suggest that they walk with him to a bank machine and clear out all their money. If they lived alone, he could go home with them and clean them out before ending them and tucking them into their own bed. Many kept money in a wall safe. Other valuables could be sold, and he only had to tweak the minds of those shop owners willing to buy so that they had a different description of the seller in their mind who looked nothing like him.
Walking home one day from one such jewelry selling expedition that had made him quite a bit richer, Regulus heard IT blasting from the open window of a Muggle car. IT was electrifying and excited him, making him feel eager and alive in a way he'd never quite felt before. IT wasn't as good as when Kreacher held him close but it was different. It was happy and somehow healing. IT was fast and powerful. IT was Muggle rock and roll music! Frantically he scanned the mind of the driver to discover that it was a group called Journey.
When he got home, he eagerly asked Dora where he could hear more music by Journey. She told him that he could buy records and that she had a record player. When he demonstrated ignorance as to how to use such a thing, she sighed and rolled her eyes. Then taking him by the sleeve she dragged him into her music room. It was dominated by a grand piano, but there was a mahogany cabinet full of square folders with pictures on the front and a square machine with a round spiny bit in the middle.
Dora explained that the square folders held records, and records had music on them. She explained that the machine was a record player. She drew a round disk (a record) from one of the square folders and placed it onto the record player. She placed a spindle looking bit onto the round disk and flipped a switch. The haunting organ of Bach filled the room.
It wasn't Journey, but Regulus also appreciated Bach for his soothing darkness. "I don't have any rock and roll music but I don't mind if you buy some and listen to it," Dora told him with a smile. "I'm really glad you're finding things to enjoy."
Regulus shrugged, not smiling back. He didn't know if he could truly enjoy anything again, but distractions would keep him going. "Thank you, Dora," he said sincerely.
"Tomorrow after we've fed, I can take you to a music shop if you like," Dora offered. "Until then, you could always listen to the radio. Find a rock and roll station and you can see if there are other groups you would enjoy. I have a few radios around here. If you like, I will let you use one for your room."
Regulus smiled, feeling interested in spite of himself. "That would be great, actually. It'll give me something to do."
Dora produced an extra radio from the downstairs hall storage closet. It was a mildly bulky rectangular affair with a tall metal antenna. Dora showed Regulus the dial for changing radio stations and the other knob for volume control. Interested in exploring the various forms of music that this radio would allow him to hear, Regulus eagerly took it to his bedroom and plugged it into the wall. He hoped his magic wouldn't fry it out but at least if it did, he now had enough money to easily replace it.
In truth, the radio seemed like magic. Just turn a knob and get a different sort of music, and there were so many different sorts to investigate. There were radio stations for various forms of rock and dance music, classical, jazz, and something confusing called country music. Regulus wasn't certain which country, but the accents of the singers were somehow vaguely annoying. He spent most of his time listening to the dance and rock and roll stations.
When some songs reminded him of Kreacher it hurt more than Regulus expected, though. As it turned out, songs could make pain so much more poignant. He heard a song that the DJ called So Afraid by a group named Fleetwood Mac that made him want to curl up into a ball of misery, but it truly spoke to his heart and current state of mind. The singer sounded as if someone was tearing his heart out. He really put feeling into every note and tone. The guitar screamed as if in pain then lapsed into a melancholy lilt. Regulus decided to buy the record with that song on it when he went music shopping. Then he could play it over and over.
That was the only drawback of the radio. One could not repeat a song on the radio. Still the opportunity the radio provided to learn about all the different music out there made that inconvenience worth it. They went music shopping the next day as Dora promised. The shop smelled strange and there was loud music playing that was a bit too harsh for Regulus's preferences. Rather than focus on the unpleasant smell or matching music, Regulus turned his attention to the shelves of records for sale.
He bought every record by Journey, and every record by Fleetwood Mac, then a few records with dance and rock collections. That rather reminded him of the radio due to the variety of artists involved, but it was also more controlled, in that he knew exactly which songs he would be getting.
"There isn't as much American or British music available here as there would be in Britain or the U.S, obviously," Dora said apologetically. "Eventually we can visit my home in Florida. I think you will enjoy the culture there."
"Why don't we go now," Regulus asked. He was free to go anywhere he liked, he realized. Free to do anything he liked, but it didn't feel good or freeing because he had nothing to live for and no one to enjoy it with. Dora was a friend and he cared for her, but she wasn't Kreacher. She wasn't his family either though he knew she tried and he loved her for it. That's why he'd rather be miserable with her than being miserable alone if she'd have him. Obviously catching the thought, she gave a short bitter laugh, holding the door for him as they left the music store.
"Shouldn't I be doing that for you," he asked, flushing.
"I was closer and your arms are full of records," she answered with a wink.
"And I understand," she assured him. "Though before you I could be alone for years and never notice, I find I enjoy being miserable with you as well."
Regulus smiled in spite of his melancholy state. It was then that he recalled that he'd never asked Dora about what caused her sadness. He'd intended to far earlier, but had gotten lost in his own misery. Pain was selfish, he decided. He would prefer to be selfless instead, but...he had ruined all opportunities for that as he saw it.
"Dora," he asked hesitantly as they walked side by side along the busy street. He gave her a sidelong glance as he adjusted the stack of records in his arms. "What is it that makes you sad?"
She shrugged, and gave a small bitter smile. "It's more of a who. My maker, Marius. He was my lover in a past life though he does not remember it now," she stated matter of factly. "I clearly recall being with him in a past life as well as being a vampire in a past life.
I recalled both of these before becoming a vampire. The moment I saw him I recalled it all. I begged him to turn me and it took quite some time for him to relent. Afterward...I was not able to hold his interest for long. His interest is like the weather, though. It returns then passes, then returns...right now it has passed." she sighed in resignation, liquid brown eyes sad as she shrugged slender shoulders.
"He is from Rome as am I, and he often returns. I suppose I stick around in hopes of running into him. I travel some but I am here more than I am away," she admitted.
Regulus disliked this Marius at once. He hated to see such a proud, intelligent, good and beautiful lady hung up on a man who obviously did not appreciate or deserve her.
"I think we should travel to your home in America very soon," he said fervently.
Of course America was even further away from Kreacher, and this gave him a pang. He would attempt to write the elf one more time before they left if Dora agreed to go. Perhaps Kreacher's heart had softened over the past few weeks, Regulus thought hopefully. If not, being further away from the elf and Regulus's mother would only keep them safer and that was the least he could do.
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