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Shattered	By : Adriana Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione Views: 11986 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
- 26
Shattered

By Adriana

trixielou60@hotmail.com

Author's Note: With regard to the theme of this chapter: A sonata is a composition for one instrument, usually a keyboard, consisting of three or four independent movements varying in key, mood, and tempo. I thought it was a fitting theme . . .

*******************************

Over your breasts of motionless current,

over your legs of firmness and water,

over the permanence and the pride

of your naked hair

I want to be, my love, now that the tears are

thrown

into the raucous baskets where they accumulate,

I want to be, my love, alone with a syllable

of mangled silver, alone with a tip

of your breast of snow.

~From the poem, "Sonata" by Pablo Neruda

************************

Chapter 25: Sonata

Severus sniffed the sea air, his heightened sense of smell bringing him back to the time when he'd felt the first stirrings of love . . . when he'd first felt his heart beating for someone other than himself.

How fitting was it, that Belize would now be the place from where he'd release that love? He'd been foolish to think it would last. He should have gone with his first instincts.

"Everything comes full circle," he thought. Even the animals knew this.

The sun was a deep pink and small wispy clouds decorated the eastern horizon. Turquoise water lapped on the white shore and Severus had to acknowledge its breathtaking grandeur. Belize was even more beautiful than he remembered, if that was even possible, but he couldn't really dwell upon its beauty. He made his way wearily up the stairs, to the hacienda on the cliff.

He paused before opening the door. It was as if time had stood still and nog hag had changed. Of course, that was the Big Lie, because everything had changed. He was suddenly struck by the paradox of it all. Everything and nothing had changed.

He was alone now, as he'd always been, and he knew he'd better get used to it again.

The bright colours of the living room startled him for a moment and he almost said her name aloud, but stopped himself.

Albus was right. He had to snap out of it. His instincts were to go to the liquor cabinet, however, self-denial was deeply ingrained in his nature and he wasn't about to get thoroughly mashed just because he was feeling sorry for himself.

It was only mid-March, and while the weather was gloriously warm, it was beginning to cool off as the evening sun was setting. He made his way over to the patio and opened the glass doors. A tepid breeze immediately assaulted his face and he couldn't resist taking in another deep breath.

It smelled so pure.

He stayed there, sitting on a brightly cushioned chair for an hour, making no sound. He barely moved. He watched the ocean, mesmerized by the rhythm of the waves as they beat against the shore.

He finally allowed himself to think about her. He loved her more than ever, but his love was tinged with unbearable sadness. He pushed the feeling awioleiolently, torn between wanting to dwell on his memories and wanting to forget he'd ever known her.

Even during his dark moments, his rational mind would intrude, and he realized that he really didn't know what was going on in her head. He knew that if he was going to deal with Hermione, he had to start with that fact.

"I know nothing where she's concerned," he'd thought, bitterly. A small, treacherous part of his soul had answered, "You know that she loved you. She may still love you yet."

"Bugger off," he'd told his soul.

But regardless of how she was feeling, she'd still left him alone and that had to account for something. There was meaning behind that, and Severus decided that no matter what had come before, she'd most certainly put her own grief above everything and everybody else. Above her own honor even. She should have stayed, no matter what.

"Some Gryffindor," he snorted to himself. For the first time ever, he acknowledged to himself that maybe he just didn't know her as well as he'd thought.

One thing remained constant: Throughout his ordeal, he'd avoided blaming Hermione. He'd avoided feeling anger, to be sure. He'd felt the full gamut of emotions where she was concerned, ang anger and blame were just not there. He was most certainly angry at the world, but not at Hermione.

He was much more comfortable thinking that it had all been his fault. Maybe he just wasn't enough for her.

Getting up from his chair, he began to pace, finally concentrating his rage on her for the first time since she'd left.

How could she have been so cruel? Why had she saved him, if only to abandon him? He would have preferred that she'd allowed him to die, if saving him meant going on without her. He shook off that maudlin thought, switching tactics. Maybe he hated her now and he just didn't realize it.

"Bitch," he muttered, testing himself, but there was no real sentiment behind it. The word felt empty.

He was almost relieved.

Overcome by his chronic fatigue, he left the patio and made his way to his room. He pointedly ignored Hermione's former quarters and when he made his way to his bed, he emptied the contents of his robe pockets. With a murmured word, a small suitcase was instantly enlarged and he opened it. He absently hung his clothes in a closet, losing himself in the mundane task. When he was finished, he arranged his belongings around the room. He'd brought some books, a few parchments and a lone quill. He'd promised Albus an owl when he settled in.

Severus finally approached the bed again, stripping naked before climbing in. It was too warm to sleep in bedclothes. Picking up the book he'd laid on his nightstand, he opened it to a random page, and began to read:

"I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.

Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.

Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day

I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps."

He flung the book on his lap. "Oh that's just bloody brilliant," he snarled. "Bloody Pablo Neruda. Just what I fucking need!" He violently threw the book against the far wall of the bedroom.

It didn't make him feel any better. In fact, he felt regretful . . . it was one of his favorite books and he'd never treated a book with such callousness.

"Sleep. I need to sleep," he said, as he willed his body to relax. He'd had years of dealing with trying to sleep while under great stress. He hadn't always enjoyed success, but this time he was able to empty his mind long enough to fall into a light, uneasy slumber.

It was inevitable that he dreamt of Hermione.

This particular dream was recurring. He was lying with her, limbs entwined as they were in the throes of wanton lovemaking. Oh Merlin, the sweet sounds she was making! He lost himself in velvet softness, her silky skin yielding to his touch. They were grabbing and clutching and caressing and there was the sensation of wet tongue. He felt his excitement gather as a single, intense vibration between his legs.

She felt so real . . . her hand reached out to touch his cheek.

"Severus," she whispered.

"Hermione," he answered with a sigh. "Where have you been?"

"Severus," she said again, louder, as if she hadn't heard him.

"Severus, wake up."

He was instantly awake and in a split second he made out the dark silhouette of someone standing over him, a hand touching his face. Letting out a guttural snarl, he hurled himself at the figure, grabbing on to solid flesh as he wrenched the person over. With catlike quickness, he pinned the intruder to his bed, muttering, "Lumos," at the same time. A soft golden light emanated from his wand on the nightstand, bathing them in a dim glow. His hand closed around a slender throat.

Looking down at the figure under him, he was shocked at what he saw.

Hermione was looking up at him with frightened, melancholy eyes.

***************************

Ginny let out a soft laugh as she ran behind a tree in the backyard of the Burrow. Draco played along, chasing her until he grabbed at her arm, pulling her close to his body. He swooped in, nipping a tender earlobe as he held her tightly.

"Don't let Mum see you doing that," she warned before they began kissing passionately.

"We're behind a tree, sweetness," he murmured, briefly lifting his mouth from hers. "Not even Molly Weasley can see through trees."

He absolutely adored kissing her.

Her lips were full and soft and Draco enjoyed the feel of them against his own. While she projected an aura of innocence, she could still use her mouth to drive him completely mad with wanting. Things had progressed somewhat from kissing, and they'd spent the last few minutes exploring each other with groping, lustful hands. Draco was eager to see how far she'd let him go.

He brushed his hand along the front of her blouse, pausing at the soft skin in the cleavage of her breasts. "I'm going in," he thought to himself, as he dipped his fingers down further. Suddenly he felt something sharp, prompting a yelp.

"Feck! Something bit me!" He looked at her suspiciously. "I think your bra just bit me."

Ginny looked a little sheepish. "Erm . . . I think the twins got into my scanties and charmed them to bite. They've done it before."

"How utterly darling," Draco said sarcastically. "I'll get back at the little dobbers if it's the last thing I do. Perhaps I'll put something itchy in their boxers."

"It would serve them right," Ginny giggled, before being silenced with another wild kiss.

"Giiiiiiiny!" It was Mum. Draco jumped as if he'd been caught with his pants down. "Now what?" he huffed, in exasperation.

"Ginny! There's someone here to see you!"

Ginny peered around the tree. "Who is it, Mum? I'm rather busy right now." Draco couldn't resist, and gave a gentle pinch to her backside. "Stop that," she admonished, with another restrained giggle. Draco only smirked.

"It's me, Ginny."

There was no mistaking that voice.

Harry Potter had returned to the Burrow.

Ginny was instantly paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Draco made the decision for her, tugging her arm and pulling her away from behind the tree. Harry, Draco and Ginny each regarded the other from across the yard, before Draco inevitably broke the silence.

"It's about time, you bloody wanker."

Harry did not look surprised to see him.

He walked over to them slowly . . . it was like he was cautiously approaching an unexploded Dungbomb. He didn't take his eyes off Ginny, and Draco moved closer to her in an unconscious gesture of possessiveness.

"Hullo, Ginny." Harry nodded at Draco, but his eyes never left her face. "Malfoy."

"Potter."

Another awkward pause.

"Erm, so . . . I hardly know where to begin," Harry said, squirming under Ginny's intense appraisal.

"How about at the beginning, when you bolted from Machrie Moor like the Demons of Hwerewere chasing you." Draco could barely keep his tone civil.

"Believe it or not, Malfoy, I don't owe you an explanation."

"Yes, well . . . you certainly owe one to Ginny. To all the Weasleys in fact." Draco couldn't help his morally superior tone.

Ginny laid a hand on Draco's arm. "It's alright, Draco." She turned to Harry. "I knew you'd come here, sooner or later. How did Mum greet you?"

"Oh, well . . . she was a little cold. Understandable, given what's happened. I apologized. For everything." He looked at Ginny closely.

"Now there's a start," said Draco, condescendingly.

Harry finally tore his gaze away from Ginny. " Do you mind, Malfoy? I need to speak with Ginny alone."

Ginny moved to stand between the two of them. "Anything you have to say to me, Harry, you can say in front of Draco. I'm not sending him away on your account."

Draco felt a surge of pride at her fierce words.

"Please, Ginny," Harry begged. "This is hard enough as it is. I've already lost Ron. The least you can do is to afford me the courtesy of speaking to you in private."

Ginny looked at Draco, and was surprised to see a look of approval glinting in his eye. "Nice touch," thought Draco. Apparently The Almighty Potter wasn't above a little pathetic manipulation of his own. He decided to be big about it.

"I think that would be a good thing," said Draco, haughtily. "You've obviously a lot to talk about."

Turning to Ginny he said, "In truth, I have somewhere I need to be. Professor Dumbledore asked to see me, and I told him I'd drop in sometime this afternoon. I think this is where I should leave it. For now." Before Ginny could retort, he leaned down and gave her a very slow, very leisurely kiss. He made sure to linger a bit longer than was necessary, as he whispered, "It's alright, love. I'll see you in a few hours." He could feel Harry seething, which was very gratifying.

She looked up at him gratefully and nodded. He squeezed her hand as he walked away.

Pausing as he passed Harry, Draco couldn't resist a dig. "Needle dick," he said scornfully.

"Nancy boy."

"Wack-off."

"Pillow-biter."

"Now that hurts, Potter."

Harry snorted. "Go away, Malfoy. I'm sure things will be settled by the time you slither back."

"Oh yes, I'm sure they will." As he walked away, Harry heard him mutter, "Pisshole."

Draco Malfoy always had the last word.

*******************************

Severus stared at Hermione for a brief moment before recoiling. It was then that she noticed that he was naked. Her eyes widened and she couldn't resist lowering them to take in his smooth, lean form. "Whoa," she thought. "He's as beautiful as ever." Severus let out a strangled sound as he leapt from the bed and grabbed a night robe that had been strewn across the chair. He quickly covered himself, much to her secret disappointment.

She slowly sat up in the bed as they stared at each other.

"What are you doing here?" he managed in a choked voice, unwilling to move any closer.

"After everything we've been through, surely you didn't think that I would stay away forever?"

"I didn't know what to think," he began, his voice rising. He took a deep, calming breath, but his body was shaking despite his best efforts to appear unaffected by her presence. He folded his arms to his chest, in an apparent defensive gesture.

"I suppose you didn't," she conceded. "Oh, Severus. I've made a mess of things, I know. I hardly know where to begin."

"I'll save you the trouble," he snarled. "Get out. Go away. Leave me alone."

Hermione's lip began to tremble. "It's worse than I imagined," she thought.

"Please, don't turn me away," she whispered.

"Don't you mean, 'Don't abandon me, the way I abandoned you?' " he asked bitterly, as he backed away from her further. "I don't know what you expected, but the truth is, I've learned to live without you these past weeks, so don't concern yourself on my account. I'm doing just fine, I've moved on."

"Have you? Is that why you're trembling? Is that why you can't look at me? Because you're fine and you've moved on?"

Severus' lip curled up in a sneer. "It doesn't matter, Hermione. You've made your feelings very clear. I don't need you anymore. What is it the Muggles say? Actions speak louder than words. Your actions tell me everything."

"You don't know anything about my actions and that's totally my fault. I've come to explain."

"Don't bother, " he said in a quiet voice.

"Severus, please. I was wrong to leave you . . . so very wrong. I know it's not an excuse but I haven't been in my right mind for a while. I couldn't face you."

"And why is that? Is it because you were afraid that I'd be a constant reminder of Ron Weasley's death? Or because you feel like you made the wrong choice? Which is it, Hermione?"

"I never felt that way!" she shouted. "I've never, ever regretted the choice I made! You are the love of my life and even though you may not feel that way about me anymore, I still love you with everything in my heart. It was never that I didn't love you. I left because . . . because . . . " her voice dropped to a whisper. "I left because I felt that I had failed everybody, especially you."

Severus couldn't hide his disbelief. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, my love," she said, and for the first time since she'd seen him, the tears began to fall. She looked away from him. When she finally spoke, it was in a soft voice and Severus had to strain to hear her words.

"I realized that one of the dynamics of our relationship has been that you've put me up on a pedestal. It was apparent to me that you felt like I'd somehow 'saved you'. I'd saved you from the Dark and I was your redemption. What a pack of shit that was! The truth is, I'm not perfect . . . I'm not your savior and in fact, I'm quite capable of making horrible, hurtful mistakes. I was terrified of letting you see my imperfection."

Severus was surprised at her words. "I never wanted perfection, Hermione. I've lived long enough to know that it doesn't exist. Even the most beautiful things have flaws."

"I've never given you proper credit for your wisdom," she answered. "I know that now."

She got up off the bed and walked over to the window, overlooking the ocean. The night was clear and the full moon illuminated her face, giving her a haunted look. She finally spoke again.

"During the first week after Ron's death, I was absolutely incoherent with grief. Looking back on it, it was as if I'd left my own body, to be replaced by someone I didn't know . . . someone who was weak and loathsome and horribly tainted. I was having terrible nightmares and I couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard I tried. I thought I'd be a burden to you. For some reason, I couldn't let you see me like that . . . in fact, I didn't want you to see it. I thought you wouldn't be able to handle my shame and my grief. I'm sorry. I was so wrong."

"What was it about me that made you think that I couldn't see you in a realistic light? That I'd be so horrified that I'd reject you?"

Hermione began to cry even harder. "I don't know!" she wailed. "It was so unfair and I was so blind! You've never given me cause to doubt your unconditional love. Oh God! I've hurt everybody! The Weasleys must hate me now, not that I blame them. You probably hate me too," she said in a small voice.

Severus was taken aback. When he spoke, his voice was very quiet.

"I don't hate you, Hermione. I could never hate you."

Hermione let out a relieved cry and a wet sniffle. Severus groped in his pocket for a handkerchief, gingerly handing it to her. He waited patiently as she loudly blew her nose before attempting to hand it back to him. He didn't move to take it, only looking at her with amusement. "Keep it. Please," he said sardonically. It was so adorable, so totally Severus, that Hermione began to cry even harder.

"Oh, Severus! I'd give anything to take it back, to go back to that moment when I left Machrie Moor. I'd give anything to have stayed and faced things bravely! I'm a coward, I know. It's just that . . . I don't know if this matters, but there's something I never told you about Ron Weasley." She looked him in the eye before speaking softly.

"He was my first . . . my first lover. That's what made it so hard."

Severus started in surprise. The truth was, they'd never discussed their past relationships. He'd figured that they'd get around to it someday . . . that they had all the time in the world to get to know each other even more deeply. "He was your first?" he asked tentatively. "Obviously, I didn't know that. I would never have guessed." Her reaction to Ron Weasley's death was beginning to make even more sense to him.

Hermione nodded. "The reality is, if it hadn't been for Ron, I would never have been able to be with you. I could never have fallen in love with you, I'd have been much too terrified. But Ron was so gentle and compassionate. It was our 7th year and I was totally ignorant about love. In some ways I still am, but he opened my eyes to the possibility. We were never 'in love', but he was somebody I trusted completely. We realized that we were ill suited as lovers, but the experience left me wanting the real thing. For years though, I thought that I could live without it. That is, until I got to know you. I never wanted anybody so badly in my life. I still want you, that will never change. I told you once that I would always love you, that nothing would ever change that fact. And nothing has . . . I'll love you until the day I die, for what it's worth. And now I've ruined everything."

For the first time since she'd come to him, he was moved to compassion. Moving closer to her, he tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. She reached up to cover it with her own.

"Hermione," he said longingly. It was the first time he'd spoken her name like that since before The Final Battle. The sound of his voice moved her and she began to shake.

Severus decided that he had to make her comprehend what her leaving had done to him. "Don't you understand, Hermione? I thought that you had realized that you'd made a mistake . . . about everything! I was sure that you realized that I wasn't worth it, that I wasn't worth the life of your best friend. It was our first true test and we failed miserably. I thought you didn't love me anymore and it about killed me."

Hermione felt the sharp pain in his voice. "Oh Merlin! What have I done to you?" she cried. "I never stopped loving you, Severus. I know that I don't deserve it, but can you please find it in your heart to forgive me? Please forgive me for leaving you! I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I promise!" She moved away from the window and began to pace.

"I admit that I'm selfish, but to be honest, I want it all!" she continued passionately. "I want my career, of course, but I also want the cottage in the country and the white picket fence. I want a garden and a husband and I want to have loads of children with you! Please forgive me," she asked again. "I'm nothing without you."

"That's not true. You're everything, with or without me," he said quietly. "And I do forgive you, Hermione. Merlin knows you've forgiven me a dozen times for my faults." Before he could even finish his words, she'd flung herself into his arms, crying softly.

"I love you! I love you so much," she whispered, burying her face in his neck.

Severus felt a burden lifting from his soul as he held her. Hanging on to his bitterness and resentment had taken a terrible, draining toll and in the moment that he truly forgave her, he felt lighter and more alive than he'd felt in weeks. He felt his heart singing and was filled with a peace that he hadn't felt since the first time that he'd made love with her.

"I love you, too," he said softly. "Very much."

He reached a hand to her cheek and lowered his mouth, as his lips touched hers for the first time in an eternity. She answered his kiss passionately, radiating her love and want in a way that left no more doubt. He kissed her firmly, with no hesitation.

It was like coming home.

They lost themselves and began moving against each other lustfully. She could feel his desire against her thigh and she tore her lips from his.

"Make love to me, Severus. Please. I need to feel you inside me again."

"Yes m'am," he answered with a growl, overcome with passion. They began to mindlessly tear at each other's clothing before landing heavily on the bed. Hermione cried out as his hand reached up to cup her breast, teasing her nipple. He kissed her deeply again and she groaned as she felt his erection pressing against her hip.

"I'll never leave you again. I swear it," she said between kisses. He felt the truth of her words as he lifted his hips over hers.

"I know," he said softly. "I know you won't." He pushed himself inside her deeply, with a sure aim, and she cried out in joy as she felt him moving within her body.

It was even better than the first time.

*************************************

Draco made his way to the Headmaster's office, once again wondering at Dumbledore's summons. The Headmaster had seemed distracted since the fall of Voldemort, but Draco figured that he was once again turning his full attention to the task of educating the students of Hogwarts. Not that their education had suffered . . . the staff had worked hard to shield most of the students from the ugly events leading up to The Final Battle.

He knocked tentatively on the Headmaster's door and Albus greeted him warmly as he gestured to a chair by the fireplace.

Draco was surprised to see the room full of wizards, including several members from the Ministry of Magic. The last time he'd seen them gathered together, it was during a ceremony, where he'd been awarded the First Order of Merlin. Arthur Weasley was there, along with Barnaby Twitter, a dry bureaucrat, who'd been named Minister of Magic in the wake of Cornelius Fudge's inevitable resignation. Lucius used to derisively call him "Bitter Titter" because of his sour disposition.

"I'm sure you're wondering why you've been asked to come here, Draco," said the Headmaster, carefully. "We've been locked up in meetings all day and we wanted to discuss the future with you. The future of our country," he added in a reverent, important tone.

"That's very sweet, but what does it have to do with me?"

Albus sighed and looked to the group until his eyes met Arthur Weasley. It had been dec tha that given the delicacy of the matter they wished to discuss, Arthur was the best candidate to approach Draco with their proposal. Mr. Weasley cleared his throat.

"It has everything to do with you, Lord Malfoy," he said.

Draco was surprised to hear Mr. Weasley address him by his formal title. Throughout the past weeks, he'd settled into a rather comfortable relationship with the Weasley Patriarch. It was surprising, really, since he'd always thought Arthur Weasley to be a rather pathetic character . . . dirt poor, inept . . . completely undeserving of Draco's respect. In fact, he'd enjoyed seeing his father humiliate the elder Weasley during his childhood years.

But all of that had changed in the wake of The Final Battle.

For one thing, he was Ginny Weasley's father and that, in and of itself, prompted gratitude from Draco Malfoy. And for another thing, he was very susceptible to charm, a fact that Draco completely exploited. Pretty soon, they'd settled into easy conversations about Quidditch and Ministry politics in the aftermath of The Final Battle. Mr. Weasley was shrewd and observant, giving Draco a perspective that he'd never thought of before. Sometimes they disagreed, but Malfoy found himself rethinking his previous impression of the man. He also knew that there was more to Arthur Weasley than meets the eye.

Draco now raised an eyebrow to Mr. Weasley. "Please, go on," he murmured.

"You and I have had many discussions about what comes next, where wizarding Britain is concerned. As I recall, you told me I was . . . how did you put it?"

"Frightfully naïve, is what I think I said."

"Yes, well . . . I still think that it would be better to continue as always, but even I must admit that too much has changed now. My colleagues have spent the better part of the morning convincing me of that." He turned to Dumbledore, who gave him a small nod.

Arthur continued. "As you know, we have many Death Eaters in custody, but there were a great many more witches and wizards who, while they supported Voldemort in principle, did not participate in the more 'notorious' activities. There is a lot of bitterness and resentment out there and if our community is to heal, we must make a gesture of reconciliation. That is where you come in."

Draco looked at him in confusion. "I've no interest in politics, Arthur. You know that."

"Draco," interrupted the Headmaster. "This goes beyond mere politics." He turned and exchanged a knowing look with Mr. Weasley.

"Indeed," Arthur said. "The Ministry has decided that some of Voldemort's former supporters must be brought back into the fold. They must have representation in our government, or else, their dissatisfaction will grow again and we will face another uprising. Most of Voldemort's supporters came from old, aristocratic families, like the House of Malfoy." He paused before continuing.

"We have concluded that the only thing that will be accepted by them, is nothing less than the establishment of a monarchy. A monarchy that will work in tandem with the Ministry."

Draco was flabbergasted.

"A monarchy? Are you completely mad? Do you mean, 'God Save the Queen' and all that rubbish?"

"It's rather more like, 'God Save the Prince', as in, 'Lord Draco Malfoy, Prince of Avalon'," said Arthur quietly. "Is any of this sinking in yet?"

Draco felt faint. "Oh, yes . . . right then. Ha ha ha. You had me going for a minute there, mate."

Arthur did not change his facial expression. "I can assure you that I'm deadly serious, my Lord. The only wizard who will be accepted by both sides is you. You're a war hero for The Cause, yet you are one of them as well. You're the only choice, really."

Albus nodded. "We all agree that you're the most suitable candidate, Draco. Voldemort's former supporters probably will not entirely accept you at first, after all, you did betray the Dark Lord. But they're a pragmatic bunch and your bloodline is indisputably pure. I believe we can get them to see that this is in their best interest."

"It's in everybody's best interest, my Lord, even yours," added Arthur.

Draco looked at Mr. Weasley as if he had sprouted two heads. "Erm . . . well . . . I hardly know what to say. I'm flattered and all." He quickly warmed to the subject matter and batted his eyelashes in mock humility. "This is all so sudden," he said demurely. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to consult with the Royal Astrologers before giving you an answer."

Arthur had to suppress a grin at Malfoy's cheekiness. Only Draco Malfoy would turn his being named the royal ruler of wizarding Britain into a supreme cosmic joke.

He was beginning to really like the boy.

************************************

Ginny and Harry stood alone, staring at each other for a long moment. Finally Harry cleared his throat.

"I don't know if this means anything, but I'm sorry I left. And once again, I'm apologizing to you." He looked at her sadly.

"Yes, well," said Ginny. "That ought to tell us something right there, don't you think? We were never meant to be, Harry."

Harry felt a heaviness in his heart as he heard the inevitable truth of her words. "You're right, of course," he said. A part of him rebelled, wanting to try to win her over once again, but judging by the firm look on her face, he knew it was pointless.

"I can give no excuses," he finally said. "Only explanations. Hermione was in a very bad way and she needed me. We needed each other, really. I suppose you could say that I made my choice, just as she made hers."

Ginny looked at him with resolution. "And I've made mine."

"But why does it have to be Draco Malfoy, of all people?"

"Because he was there for me when I needed him. Because he's noble and honorable. Because he makes me laugh. He would never leave me in my darkest hour. Need I go on?"

"Because you love him," said Harry, understanding it all for the first time.

"Yes," she said, without hesitation.

Harry looked down at this feet. "I never thought I'd say this, but I hope the two of you will be very happy. You deserve it. I'm not sure about him, though." He gave her a crooked smile.

Ginny lifted a hand to pat him on the shoulder. "Draco deserves happiness, as do you. It's just not with me."

They were silent for a bit and then Ginny had to ask him his plans.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I've been feeling out of sorts since Voldemort was defeated and not just because of Ron's death. You see, I always thought that I was going to be the one to defeat the Dark Lord. I thought it all rested with me. Yet, Hermione and Professor Snape had a hand in it, as well as Dumbledore and all the Order of the Phoenix, for that matter. Even Malfoy played a vital role. In the end, I didn't really matter much."

He looked at her ruefully.

"And, well . . . it feels different than I'd thought. To be honest, I always wanted to be a regular wizard and now I suppose that everybody finally knows that I am."

Ginny began to laugh. "You're not 'regular', Harry. You'll never be 'regular'.

Harry grinned and said, "Perhaps not, but now that Voldemort is gone, I need to find out who I really am. I must find a new purpose for my life."

"And how will you do that?"

"To begin with, I'm leaving Britain for a while. I need to travel alone and see what's out there. Despite everything, I actually feel rather optimistic."

Ginny smiled at him for the first time in months. "Oh Harry, that's wonderful! You're not going to stay away permanently, are you?"

"No," he answered. "I'd like to spend time with your family, if it's alright with you. I need to sort things out with everyone, before I go."

"I don't mind, Harry. Just so you know, if you spend time here, you'll be running into Draco. I just thought I'd warn you."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'd say that having to spend time in the same room with Draco Malfoy would be akin to a penance of sorts. I suppose I deserve it."

"Yes, and be nice to him."

"Bloody hell," he muttered.

***************************

Severus and Hermione completely lost track of time . . . making love, talking quietly, eating, sleeping and then making love yet again. They continued through the night, reestablishing connections that had been stretched thin, but never bn.
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