Filthy Little Mudblood | By : Lupinswolfie Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Lucius/Hermione Views: 30412 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“Sit down,” Severus commanded and she did so immediately.
“What do we need to talk about?”
“You. I warned you when you first read the book that it was all a test; a test of your strength and courage, or your willpower. I also told you to stay out of it. This was my fight and I knew you would only be a hindrance.”
“A hindrance?” she screeched.
“Yes!” His booming voice brought her up short. “Not only do I have to protect myself from them, but I have to protect you as well, and you make that impossible. I told you not to take the Mark, yet you did. I’m well aware,” he said, overriding her voice as she tried to interrupt him, “that you did what you did to protect Lucius and I, even if you refuse to admit it, but it was foolish.”
“I am no fool, Severus,” she said quietly.
A small smile touched his lips before he looked at her sombrely. “I know that more than most, Hermione, but I also know that the darkness is winning within you. You are supposed to fight it, work with it, yes, but not let it consume you.”
“It hasn’t consumed me!” she huffed, standing back up before him.
“When do you feel normal? When do you feel a modicum of how you used to feel, years ago?”
His question threw her for a moment and then she began to think. “I don’t know that I’ve felt that way in a long time, Severus.”
“Think hard, Hermione. You are an intelligent woman, but when it comes to your own emotions you can be rather obtuse.”
“I still don’t understand what you are trying to tell me.” She knew, and he knew that she knew, but she simply was not willing to divulge her true feelings.
“I read that book decades ago, and I have lived with the darkness ever since. It has saved my life on numerous occasions, but it has left me feeling less than I have ever felt before.” He walked closer to her and gently cupped her cheek with is hand, allowing the emotions to wash over her for a moment before he continued. “I feel the way I used to feel only during the times I have been with Ophelia, and the times that I am with you. You have become my anchor instead of me becoming yours.”
She fought back the tears that had suddenly formed with his sincere words and nodded her head. “Lucius,” she said softly and was glad that he understood without her needing to say more. “And you.”
“Yet,” he replied, a hard edge to his voice as he let his hand slip from her face, “I find myself watching you closer, wondering when the time will come.” He put distance between them.
“I do not need to be watched like a child, Severus. And what time are you waiting for exactly?”
“The time when I will have to kill you myself,” he said coldly, inclining his head slightly when she gasped. “Continue on this path, Hermione, and it will come to that. If you interfere again with my plans, in any way, and damage what I have worked most of my life to achieve, then I will kill you myself. He will not win…I will not allow it.”
“You speak of killing the Dark Lord?” she asked in shock.
He raised his eyebrows and she realized too late what she had said. “There was a time when you spoke of nothing else.”
“I have gotten to know him. He is not the megalomaniac that we believed him to be. He wants power, yes, but he doesn’t want to destroy Muggles or Muggle borns, especially not after what I told him.”
“Watch yourself, Granger, because I will be watching you, too. I pledged my life for this and I do not intend to fail now. You can go to him, give him your body and your soul, but if you give him my secrets, I will kill you for that as well.” His voice was cold, but it was the disappointment and the hurt she found in his eyes that tore at her heart.
“I would never give your secrets, Severus.”
“Then we shall remain at an impasse, I believe. What of Lucius? He is the one who loves you, the one you belong to, even if only by your heart.”
“I do NOT belong to anyone!” she hissed. “He has repeatedly said that I am his and treats me like his personal property, but I am not a thing in which someone can claim!”
As if to mock her very words, they both grabbed their left arms at the sudden burning of pain.
“While he lives, Hermione, you will belong to the Dark Lord and no one else. Not even to yourself. You will not be allowed to further your relationship with Lucius in the way you both desire. Go now. Remember what I said and for Merlin’s sake, as well as your own, remember that you are a Gryffindor. You still have your heart, Hermione, listen to it above all other things.”
“Where are you going?”
“Lupin will need to be healed now that he is with the Order and safe.”
It felt as though a knife had pierced her heart and she turned quickly before he could see the look of guilt she was surely displaying. The emotions were tiring, did he not understand that? Guilt, mistrust, self-doubt, pity…they were all exhausting and when the darkness took over, she felt none of them. That is what she wanted more than anything. She wanted to feel powerful, but otherwise, she didn’t want to feel at all.
With a soft ‘pop’ she found herself standing before Tom in their now shared quarters. “Milord!” she said happily, giving him a slight bow before walking over to him quickly. “I am so happy to see you are all right!”
“Did you fear I would be otherwise?”
“Not at all, Milord, but I will admit to worrying about you from time to time.”
“Touching,” he replied, but she knew he did not find her sentiments to be anything of the like. “Potter was not easily deterred from acquiring you, Hermione. Why is that, do you believe?”
“Perhaps he feels guilty for leaving me behind almost a year ago. He tends to allow his emotions free reign of his actions.”
“That he does. The Final Battle approaches. I plan on gathering my most trusted and attacking the very room he covets within the next day.”
“Milord, that is great! We will do everything in our power to destroy any hope he may have of touching you.”
“We?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. He walked to her, gently stroking her face with his fingers as she leaned into his touch. “You misunderstand me, Tim Molisje. You will not be going anywhere, or fighting anyone. I have come to a very disturbing realization recently, and have decided that you are to remain here where you will be safe.”
“No, Tom! You can’t do that! I have earned the right to fight by your side. You need me!” she pleaded with him as she grabbed the front of his robes.
His hands circled her wrists painfully and he pulled her away from him. “Do not forget to whom it is you speak, Hermione. What I have come to need from you is your safety and existence. I have called a meeting soon from my inner circle and we will leave from there. If you would like to visit your father,” he added, trying to placate her with a visit to her dad that she had been asking for since his capture, “you may do so. Wormtail will take you to where he is being kept.”
Hermione knew that she had been dismissed and walked dejectedly from the room.
“Perk up, Hermione,” Peter said from beside her as they strolled down the hallway.
“How did you know to be here?” she asked.
“The Dark Lord, of course. He said you would be going to visit your father and that I was to wait by the door and take you to him. Hopefully, he won’t curse me for being late to the meeting,” he added bitterly.
“You? You get to be there and I can’t?”
“Of course,” he said haughtily. “But he wants to keep you here, so here you shall remain.”
Hermione followed him in silence for several long moments. Soon, they came to a part of the manor she had never been in before. Behind a heavy steel door, lay another hallway and Peter led her that way.
“So, tell me, Peter,” she asked conversationally, “why is it that everyone calls you ‘Wormtail’ in stead of Peter? I thought that nickname was given to you by your friends. The ones that you betrayed.”
“I don’t know why they call me that,” he replied and she could sense he was going to say something that would not amuse her. “However, we are alike, you and I.”
Against her better judgement, she asked, “How so?”
“We have both betrayed our best friends for the Dark Lord’s cause. Here is your father’s room. Good day.”
“Peter,” she called to his retreating backside. “Severus is the only friend I have, and I have not betrayed him. Whatever else you think you may know about me, you are obviously mistaken. I am nothing like you.”
She refrained from hexing him right there in that very hallway. His death would mean nothing to her but Tom wouldn’t be happy, and she certainly did not want to deal with him angry. Turning the knob, she gently pushed open the door and walked in to greet her father.
The room was furnished sparingly, but all the basic needs were clearly met; a table and chair for eating stood in one corner, and a bed against the far wall for sleeping.
“Hermione!” her father yelled as he rushed to her from another room and gathered her into his arms. “It’s so good to see you! Thank God you’re all right! Where have you been? What’s been going on?”
Had he forgotten what Remus had called her? What she had done to him right in front of her father? Why was he so happy to see her? She couldn’t control her thoughts and realized by his sudden intake of breath that she had asked him all those questions out loud.
“Hermione, you are first and foremost my daughter,” he said, taking her hand and leading her to the bed. “I’m a stranger to your world because you chose to keep your mother and I in the dark. This took us all by surprise and I’m not happy about it. You should have told us you were in trouble; I don’t know what we could have done, but anything would have been better than not knowing.”
“I know, Dad, but you have to realize I’m not the same little girl that I once was. Things have…changed.”
“That was made glaringly obvious the other night,” he said sternly. “I am sure that whatever Remus said was a means to anger you. I’ve had a long time to think about it and I know it was his way of making you hurt him instead of me. I don’t know how I feel about that, but there you have it. What is going on is not something I can turn to a book for answers to. I’m out of my element here. Instead, I’m choosing to worry about my wife and daughter.”
“Mum will be fine. No matter what happens, you two will be together.”
“How can you be so sure of that?”
She sighed loudly. “Because if the Order wins, they will come rescue you. If the Dark Lord wins, then we will go get Mum. He has given me his word.”
“And you believe him? A man who tortures and kills for pleasure and you believe what he says?” he asked incredulously. “I did not raise you to have such morals, young lady.”
Hermione stood quickly and walked to the door. Getting ‘dressed down’ by her own father after everything she had been made to endure was becoming more than she wished to handle. “The daughter you once knew is dead,” she said coldly. “I have done things, Father, things that would make you hate me. And I have no excuse for my actions.”
“I could never hate you, little one. Nothing could cause that.”
“I killed a man, did you know that?” she asked, remembering what she had been forced to do once. At his surprised expression, she knew the answer. “No, I suppose you didn’t. These are evil people I live with and I’ve been made to do evil things. That’s just the way it is.”
“But I thought you fought on the right side, Hermione,” he said with confusion.
“I don’t know that there is a ‘right side’, Dad.”
He pulled her into his embrace and held her tightly, laying his head on hers the way he used to when she was a child. “I don’t know what is happening, or what will happen, but you will always remain my daughter and I will always love you.” Pulling back from her, he looked into her eyes and added, “The right side, little one, is the side your heart tells you to be on. You can have reservations, that is expected in one as smart and analytical as you, but when the time comes, you will just know. Perhaps your old friends will redeem themselves, or perhaps you’ll see you were meant to be with this Dark Lord. That is only for you to decide.”
Hermione gave him a weak hug once more and then said her goodbyes. Her father had been right; he had always been right. She needed to decide where her life was leading her and what she wished to accomplish. The indecision was overwhelming, and she hated the feeling. She hated feeling anything at all. Worse though, was her sense of uselessness at being forced to stay at the manor while the others went to the Ministry. In that moment, one thing became absolutely certain to her…the Dark Lord would not fight without her.
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