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The Affair	By : soldiersgirl0709 Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Lucius/Hermione Views: 34511 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to HP or the HP Universe, no money is made from the publication of this fic. Only friends and smiles. =)

Chapter List
- 24
- 25
- 26
Chapter 25: A Life Without Love

A life without love is no life at all

Two months had passed since that dreadful evening at the ministry celebration. Actually it had been sixty-eight days, seventeen hours and approximately thirty-four minutes. Hermione had done as Ronald had asked her. She never went back to the manor to finish the job she began and she hadn�t seen or spoken to Lucius since she bade him goodbye that night. But she thought of him and she knew by the tingle in her palm that he was thinking of her too.

She was miserable. She felt trapped within the walls of her home, a prisoner. She pretended that she was content with her life, that all was well and that she wanted to make amends for what she had done, but in her heart she knew it for a lie. She was simply going through the motions, doing what was familiar and what was expected of her. She tried telling herself that she was doing the right thing, what she felt for Lucius had been just a flash in the pan and would ease with time.

So far it hadn�t eased at all. She missed him. She missed having lunch with him, talking with him and laughing, walking along the lake, and yes, she missed those lazy afternoons in the cottage making love and just being together. But she had made a commitment to Ron and it was only right that she stick by it. It wasn�t easy, she could barely stand to be in the same room with him at times and she absolutely could not stand to have him touch her.

He took offense to the fact that she would not sleep with him, especially since she had been sleeping with Lucius. She used the excuse that she was feeling badly for what happened and she just wasn�t ready but it wasn�t the truth. She felt badly that she had hurt Ron but she didn�t feel bad for a single moment spent in Lucius�s arms. He grudgingly accepted her reasoning and slept on the couch, but it didn�t stop him from trying to sway her.

She glanced down at her watch and then back to the door of the little caf�. She smiled and gave Harry a slight wave as he pushed through the crowd and fell into the seat across from her.

�So sorry I�m late.� He said out of breath. He saw that she had already ordered his favorite cappuccino and smiled. �Not wasting time I see.�

�It�s good to see you, Harry.� She said softly, smiling at her friend. Harry took a drink of his coffee and sat back in his chair.

�Well, as much as I love you, Hermione, you look like death warmed over.� He said sadly. She was pale with dark circles beneath her eyes. Her curls were pulled back from her face haphazardly into a bun and she was dressed in a black tracksuit despite the fact that it was the middle of summer. She looked as she had those first months after Oliver died. �Do you want to tell me about it?�

�What�s to tell? You know what happened.� She said, looking down into her cup.

�But I don�t know the story. You have yet to tell me.� He said, reaching across the table for her hand. �Hey, look at me. This is me you are talking to; I love you no matter what. I know I�ve not been the best friend lately, things have been insane, but I am here for you. Tell me what happened.�

�I had an affair with Lucius Malfoy, that�s the story.� She said, looking away.

�Don�t try to hide from me, Hermione. I know you better than that.� He gave her hand a squeeze to reassure her.

�I was lonely and sad and Lucius was too�we kept each other company and made each other happy and it turned into something more.� Tears welled in her eyes but she didn�t let them fall as she gave Harry a sad little smile.

�I won�t lie to you and tell you I approve, but I understand.� He said.

�Do you?�

�Hermione, everyone faces temptation.� He hated seeing her so sad. �Sometimes in a weak moment we give into it. I�ve been there, right after the war I had women throwing themselves at me left and right and there were moments when I wanted to catch them.�

�But you didn�t, I DID.� She pulled her hand from his.

�I can�t pretend to understand what you were going through, Hermione. Losing the baby��

�Oliver, Harry. His name is Oliver. Why does everyone forget that?� She asked.

�I�m sorry, losing Oliver put you in a vulnerable position and Lucius took advantage of that.� Harry said.

�No, he didn�t.� She said, sitting back in her chair. �Everyone wants to blame Lucius for this! He didn�t seduce me or take advantage of me. I CHOSE to be with him, Harry. I WANTED to be with him! He was there for me when no one else was and he speaks of my son by name, he doesn�t dance around it. Do you not understand how much I needed someone, anyone to acknowledge Oliver? Lucius did that. I know you will never understand it, but�.I feel when I am with him. I walk around numb to everything but when I am with him I feel.�

�You�re in love with him.� Harry whispered, stunned by the realization. Hermione turned her face away and stared out the window. �What about Ron?�

�I will always love Ron. I am still with him, aren�t I?�

�But you aren�t in love with him anymore, you are living a lie.� Harry slid his chair around to her side of the table and put his arm around her shoulders turning her to face him. �You are miserable. Look at you, you are wasting away.�

�What would you have me do, Harry?� She looked so hopeless that it broke his heart.

�I just want you to be happy, Mione. I love you and Ron together but I hate seeing you like this.� He said, hugging her close.

�We don�t always get what we want, Harry, sometimes we just have to make due with what we have.� She said, resting her head on his shoulder. She felt the tingling in the palm of her hand and she began to cry.

~@~

Hermione finished her coffee with Harry and with a hug and a kiss on the cheek she said goodbye at the public apparation spot at the end of Diagon Alley. She started to go home but decided a trip to the bookshop sounded lovely and headed down the side street that would take her there. As she rounded the corner she felt a hand wrap around her wrist and jerk her between two of the buildings. She was about to scream when she felt a pair of warm, familiar lips on hers.

Her scream died into a low whimper as she melted against Lucius as he kissed her, his hands cupping the sides of her face as he worshipped her mouth with his. He kissed her as though he couldn�t get enough of the taste of her, as if his life depended on the feel of her lips against his. It was only the necessity for a decent breath that pulled them apart.

�I�m not supposed to see you.� She whispered, reaching up with shaking fingers to stroke his brow.

�I couldn�t not see you. I thought I was dreaming when I saw you walking with Potter, then you were alone and coming this way and � my god I have missed you.� He said, pressing his lips to hers again briefly, firmly.

�I miss you too.� She wrapped her arms around him and pressed herself close to him.

�I need to see you, alone; I need to talk to you.� He hugged her tightly and he could feel that she had lost weight since he held her last. She was just as miserable as he was.

�Lucius, we can�t�.I promised I wouldn�t see you�.�

�I don�t give a damn about promises! This isn�t working, Hermione, we need to be together. Meet me.� He was gripping her upper arms tightly, lifting her onto her toes and holding against the front of him.

�We can�t!�

�Meet me or I swear on all that is holy I will walk right up to your front door and knock��

�Okay�.I�ll meet you. Where?� She felt him relax and his hold on her arms eased.

�Tomorrow, meet me in the cottage tomorrow.� He tucked a stray curl behind her ear then bent to kiss her again.

�Tomorrow�.our place.� She whispered against his lips.

�I need you, Hermione�please don�t stand me up.� He brushed his thumb over her lip. �Tomorrow�.everything will change tomorrow.�

�We are so in the wrong but I can�t seem to help myself.� She nipped at his thumb then ran her tongue over it. �I�ve got to go before someone sees us�.tomorrow, Lucius.� She rose up and kissed him then hurried down the small alley and back into the throng of people.

�Tomorrow.� He said on deep breath. Tomorrow would change everything.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Come on! You honestly didn�t think I would keep them apart did you?

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26

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The Affair