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Practicing Liars	By : Lomonaaeren Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Draco Views: 63257 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I am not making any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter
Twenty-Five�Compulsion

�� Harry made
sure that he�d cast locking and silencing charms on the door before he turned
around and surveyed his friends.

�� Ron and
Hermione sat close together on the floor of Umbridge�s
old office, staring at him with nervous excitement. Draco stood on the other
side of the room, his arms folded and his sneer embedded on his face as if it
never left. Harry rolled his eyes at the distance between them and tried to
choose exactly the middle point to stand, so he could see all of them at once.

�� I�ve
finally decided to tell you the truth,� he said to Ron and Hermione, �because I
need your help to defeat Voldemort.�

�� Ron gave a
nervous little squeak that he promptly tried to pretend was a deep, manly
cough. Hermione leaned forwards and nodded calmly, though Harry could see the
way her hand had gone white where she gripped Ron�s hand. �All right, Harry.
But I thought you were the one who
was supposed to defeat him?�

�� Harry
shuddered, and tried not to think about the Horcrux
fastened to his soul. He was trying, because he had to and life was better than
death, but he still couldn�t see any way around the death sentence that
Dumbledore had said he bore. If someone could destroy the soul in a Horcrux without destroying the physical object that
contained it, wouldn�t Dumbledore have figured that out when he was researching
them in the first place?

�� For now,
though, it was enough to know he and Snape were working on it, and he could
work on it with Draco if Draco wanted to. He was going to tell Ron and Hermione
just enough that they would know what the problem was. He didn�t want to tell
them about him being a Horcrux yet, because then
Hermione would start crying and Ron would start protesting and giving Draco
suspicious glances, and Harry just didn�t want to deal with that right now.

�� I�m so tired, he thought absently. Trying to live is more exhausting than just
drifting along, resigned to death.

�� Yes, I
am,� he said, when he realized that some time had gone by in silence and Hermione�s
stare had got sharper. �But Voldemort has created some powerful Dark artifacts
that help to sustain his life. We�re going to have to find and destroy the last
one before I can kill him.�

�� Draco
cleared his throat. Harry glared at him. He hoped that his friends would take
it as anger at the interruption, but Draco
should take it the way it was meant: no, Harry wouldn�t tell his friends
about the true last Horcrux right now.

�� Draco
nodded and said, �What are these artifacts? How easy is it to destroy them?�

�� Harry
relaxed, and couldn�t help smiling at Draco. Draco stared back at him, his
cheeks flushing a bit. Harry raised a curious eyebrow as he faced Ron and
Hermione again. Is it that unusual for me
to smile at him since we started being friends? I didn�t realize.

�� They�re
called Horcruxes,� Harry said. �Dumbledore told me
that,� he added, because he could see Hermione�s mouth opening to ask the
question. �Voldemort makes them by attaching part of his soul to an object.
Dumbledore�s destroyed most of them so far, and I destroyed one of them back in
second year.�

�� The
diary!� Hermione exclaimed, clapping her hands.

�� Ron nodded,
but he looked considerably less excited by the revelation. �Are you sure that
we can do this, mate?� he asked. �After all, the diary needed a basilisk fang
to get rid of.�

�� Harry
nodded. �I know,� he said. �But right now, I mostly need your help in finding
the last one.� Once again, he could feel Draco�s glare stabbing into the back
of his neck, but he didn�t turn around. �Dumbledore can�t locate it. He�s sure
it�s the tiara that belonged to Rowena Ravenclaw,
though. Or at least mostly sure,� he added. The more he thought back on his
conversation with Dumbledore, the less he was sure he could trust all the
Headmaster�s words and expressions. �Voldemort likes artifacts that belonged to
the Founders, and Dumbledore�s already destroyed the Slytherin and Hufflepuff ones.�

�� And he
wouldn�t bother touching an artifact of Gryffindor, of course,� Hermione said
with a thoughtful nod.

�� Harry shot
her a wistful smile. She grasps it right
away. She does this so well. I wonder why Fate or Voldemort or whoever chose me
as the one to fight him instead of her?

�� And the
tiara is the most famous artifact of Rowena Ravenclaw,
though there are others,� Draco said. His tone was a copy of Hermione�s, which
Harry appreciated. Harry still avoided looking at him, though. �I think the
Dark Lord has no objection to fame.�

�� If you
don�t serve him anymore,� Ron said suddenly, �why can�t you call him by his
name?�

�� Harry
glanced at Draco, afraid that he would be upset. But Draco just raised his
eyebrow and cocked his head to the side. �You first, Weasel,� he said.

�� Harry
glared, but let the insult pass. Ron was the one who had decided to question
Draco�s loyalty out of the blue.

�� Ron sat
straight up and licked his lips. �V-Vol�� he said,
and stopped.

�� Draco
cupped a hand around his ear and leaned forwards politely. �Yes?�

�� Oh, fine,� Ron said. �You-Know-Who. I can�t
say it, all right? You can gloat now.� He turned around and folded his arms.
Hermione hugged him, mouthing at Harry You
need to make this all right.

�� Neither
can Draco,� Harry said. Draco tapped him hard on the shoulder. Harry ignored
that. �And remember how long it took Hermione? I mostly said it when I was
eleven because I didn�t know better. I hadn�t grown up with it. But you and
Draco did. I don�t blame you for being afraid.�

�� Both Ron
and Draco looked simultaneously soothed and ruffled by his words. Harry rubbed
his eyes. Please, let us not kill each
other before we find the tiara.

*

�� Severus was
on his way out of the Great Hall when he heard excited chatter from behind the
nearest pillar. He would have ignored it ordinarily�excited chatter was common
at this time of the year, when the Ravenclaws began on their final projects in
all their classes�but then he heard the word �Horcrux.�

�� Severus
stopped, wishing he could Disillusion himself without notice, and managed to
lean enough towards the pillar to identify the voices.

�� I have a
list of places that we should look,� Granger�s bossy voice was saying. �I mean,
assuming it�s in Hogwarts. But I�ve checked the supposed sightings of the tiara
outside the school, and all of them are either centuries old or were proven
conclusively to be fakes later on by disinterested observers. Whereas the tiara
was seen here twice in the years before V-Voldemort was a student.�

�� That
doesn�t prove anything,� the voice of the second-youngest Weasley muttered.
�After all, what if it was hidden somewhere and then You-Know-Who went
searching and found it?�

�� The school
is where we can search right now,� Granger responded. �And I don�t think
Dumbledore would have told Harry about the tiara with such particular emphasis
if it was hidden somewhere really far away, somewhere we couldn�t reach. It
would make more sense for him to go and find it himself, wouldn�t it?�

�� Sometimes
I worry about Dumbledore,� Weasley said.

�� That is the only thing we agree on, Severus
thought, tensing his muscles against the impulse to swoop around the pillar and
pounce on them for talking about such matters in public, where anyone could
overhear them. Then he would have to reveal how he knew about Horcruxes and what he knew, and he was not yet willing to
do that. It was possible that Granger
and Weasley did not realize how powerful and dangerous the knowledge they
possessed was. Encouraging them to believe otherwise would probably get them
into more scrapes.

�� Instead,
Severus withdrew into a shadowed corner and waited until he saw Potter leave
the Great Hall. Then he fell into step beside him, so smoothly that the boy
never had a chance to rejoin his friends.

�� My office,
now,� he breathed.

�� Startled,
his son looked up at him. Severus�s heart clenched painfully. Ah, those eyes.

�� I didn�t
do anything wrong,� Harry said, falling back in front of him and looking around
as if he wanted to find a group of Gryffindors he could bolt to for safety. �I
was just walking here!�

�� Severus
gave him a long, slow look of the kind that he had perfected when examining
living bodies which would become Potions ingredients. As expected, it worked
this time, too. The boy had been through many Dark and scarring experiences,
but that hadn�t dulled his perception of more ordinary dangers. He put down his
head and trudged after Severus to his office.

�� Severus
made sure the door was triple-warded with locking and silencing charms before
he turned around. The boy stood in the center of the floor, fists folded before
him in the way that students adopted when they intended to fight him, his teeth
gnawing his lip fiercely.

�� I want to
know what I did wrong, first,� Harry said, putting such haughtiness in his
voice that Severus�s skin stung. He could remember sounding like that when he
stood before a professor in his own student days, facing a punishment that he
thought was undeserved.

�� And they were undeserved most of the time, Severus
thought, before he shook the clinging fog of the resemblance away. He could not
be allowed to let it interfere with the punishment of his son.

�� You told
your friends about Horcruxes,� Severus hissed.
�Without thinking about the danger it could cause, and apparently without
telling them that they should not discuss it in the open.�

�� Harry�s
face turned pale, but he said, �I�ll warn them to put up silencing charms in
the future, then.�

�� Severus
prowled a step closer, not quite able to understand what he was seeing. In the
past, the boy had displayed a better grasp of imminent danger than this. �Your
crime was telling them about it at all,� he whispered, �without a discussion as
to whether doing so would put you in more danger.�

�� Harry
stared at him, mouth slightly open, and then shook his head. �I�m already in
danger,� he said irritably. �When you mentioned that it could hurt them, I
thought you meant them. Why should
their knowing about Horcruxes make my situation more
dangerous than it is with Voldemort hunting me and half the wizarding world
depending on me to save them?�

�� Severus
shook his head. �Because if someone learned about this, and made the connection
that you are one��

�� I didn�t
tell them that part,� Harry interrupted. �Just about the existence of Horcruxes in general, so they could help me find Ravenclaw�s tiara.�

�� That was
bad enough,� Severus said, ruthlessly crushing the tiny bit of relief that
Harry�s chattering best friends didn�t know the worst secret. �Why did you not
discuss this with me beforehand?�

�� Harry
stared at him with his mouth open again. Then he said, �Why should I?�

�� Severus
paused, his teeth clenching together. Yes, why should Harry have done so? Harry
had proven before now that the ties of blood meant little to him and that he
did not consider Severus�s mere existence as giving Severus any authority over
him.

�� In fact,�
Harry went on, seeming to grow bolder from his silence, �why shouldn�t I talk
to Dumbledore instead? He�s the one who gave me this information. He should
probably have some say in who knows about it. But I notice that you didn�t send
me off to consult with him.� He gave
Severus another of those dark smiles and then pushed past him, aiming for the
door.

�� Severus�s
hand shot out as if it was a separate part of him and grabbed the boy�s
shoulder. His voice said, as if also separate from him, �This conversation is
done when I say it is done.�

�� Harry
gasped once and then stood still. The dark smile didn�t seem to have faded from
his face at all when he tilted his head back and met Severus�s eyes.

�� I told
you,� he breathed.

�� Told me
what?� Severus stepped closer to the boy, compulsions warring and clashing in
him. There was the compulsion to discipline, the one to save and protect, the
one to prove Harry wrong and show him that his actions were dangerous, and the
one that made him want to strive until he saw Harry�s eyes soften and his head
bow in agreement. The agreement would be a triumph, because it would mean he
had been right, but it would also mean that Harry had decided to listen to and
consult him in the future, and that would
be a sweetness.

�� I told you
you would hurt me.� Harry glanced archly at the hand
on his shoulder. �Because blood relatives always do.�

�� Severus had
control of his hand again. It snapped sideways as if burned. Then he swallowed
and said, �Did I hurt you?�

�� Oh, I�m
sure you didn�t mean to,� Harry said, his voice smooth and his eyes mercilessly
brilliant. He pushed up the sleeve so that the bare skin of his shoulder
showed. There was a bruise there, Severus saw, though the glance also let him
know that it would not be nearly so lasting as the one he had inflicted on
Harry�s wrist when he first learned the boy was his son. �I�m sure it�s that my
skin bruises easily,� Harry continued, and now his tone was very bright. �Or
that you don�t know your own strength. Or that I wouldn�t deserve it if I wasn�t such a little freak.�

�� Severus
shuddered. �Stop echoing their justifications,� he whispered.

�� Then stop
echoing their actions,� Harry retorted, and slipped out the door.

�� Severus
grimaced and shut his eyes, shaking his head. Sometimes he wondered if this
whole endeavor to become a father was doomed to be failure.

�� The only
scrap of comfort he had was that Harry had not told his friends about his being
a Horcrux. At least that was something.

*

�� Draco? Can
I talk to you for a minute?�

�� Draco
glanced up. He�d been talking with his mother for several hours now, letting
his voice wander quietly through memories of his father. Narcissa had let him
take her hand, which had been rare even when they were in the privacy of their
home. She withdrew it now, but Draco could have sworn he felt it turn cold
before it left his.

�� Harry?� he
asked, easing back from his mother�s bed, though aware of the way she watched
him, with her eyes darting from Harry�s face to his and then back again. �Of
course. What did you want to talk about?�

�� Harry
swallowed and glanced sideways at Narcissa. Draco cocked his head. He couldn�t
think of anything that Harry would be shy to talk about in front of his mother.
Well, maybe the Horcruxes, but if he wanted to talk
about that, he wouldn�t have sought Draco out in the hospital wing, where he
must know that Draco would be visiting with his mother.

�� Unless his need was just too great, Draco
thought suddenly, and warmth shot from his throat to his heart like the mulled
wine that his father had sometimes let him taste. Unless he couldn�t help himself and he had to come find me.

�� Draco liked
the thought of that kind of helpless need. He knew his voice was softer when he
spoke again, and he thought his eyes were brighter, though he didn�t see how he
could help that. Harry really had no idea what the mere thought of possessing his friendship did to Draco. �What is it?�

�� Harry
turned back to face him, and then stared, caught a moment. But he shook his
head and plunged past that with one of his sudden fearless dashes that Draco
loved.

�� Did you
ever hate your father?� Harry
blurted. �I mean�what did you do if you really hoped for something and then he
took it away or wouldn�t get it for you? Did it ever really hurt? Because I can�t�I want�� He bit
his lip and looked at Narcissa again. �I just learned something about my
father,� he whispered, �about what kind of person he was when he was alive. And I�m feeling like I don�t like
him much anymore.�

�� Draco
wanted to roll his eyes, though he wasn�t sure if it was because of the way
Harry still insisted on keeping Professor Snape a secret or because of the way
he was speaking now, as if his feelings weren�t perfectly normal.

�� To him, they aren�t, Draco had to remind
himself then. He didn�t grow up with
them. He probably grew up dreaming and hoping about his parents, but didn�t
expect ever to see them again.

�� And that
let Draco understand, a little, the shock it must have been to Harry when he
realized that one of those parents was still alive.

�� I felt
that kind of thing towards my own mother,� Narcissa remarked.

�� Draco
stared at her. He had never known her to venture a personal comment in front of
a stranger before. Usually, it took months of begging from him before she would
share a personal memory from her childhood.

�� He might
have felt jealous, but he was too hopeful about what it might mean that she had
chosen Harry to share this memory with. He tried to fade into the background,
except for the supportive hand that he laid on Harry�s shoulder.

�� Did you?�
Harry whispered. �Why? What did you do?�

�� Narcissa
smiled, and Draco thought it was like and unlike the cold and lovely smiles he
was used to from her. It made her look more like the portrait of a woman he had
seen in his mother�s bedroom once, a miniature portrait with a scratch on the
frame from being hidden away. His mother had said only that it was his Aunt
Andromeda, who had run off with a Muggle, and Draco must never ask about her.

�� I wished
for a Kneazle kitten,� Narcissa answered. �A small white one with blue eyes,
which would be elegant enough for a house such as ours.� Harry flinched a bit,
as if he wanted to disagree that the Black family had been elegant, but he
didn�t say anything, and Draco was grateful for his forbearance. �My mother
feared the shedding of hair. But a cousin gave me one as a present for my
birthday, and I had something else to love for three days.�

�� Why only
three days?� Harry asked. Draco had already decided that he knew the end of the
story, though he�d never heard it before, and he drew near Harry. He doubted
that the ending would make Harry happy.

�� I came
home and found that my mother had strangled it with one of my curtain cords,�
his mother said, so calm, so steady, that Draco would have thought she no
longer cared if not for the cold flicker in her eyes. �She held the body up
before me and told me that the same thing would happen to me the moment I
thought of rebelling against her again, by accepting a gift that she would have
sent away, and which she expected her daughters to send away if they were at
all worthy of their upbringing and family name. She forced me to tell my cousin
that I had carelessly left the door open and the kitten had run away.�

�� The silence
seemed far more intense to Draco than it would have ordinarily, because he had
heard those sorts of stories from his mother before. Harry held his breath,
then shouted, �But that wasn�t fair!�

�� Of course
not,� Narcissa said. �And for long days, I hated her. I do not think I ever
completely forgave her,� she added, in a musing tone. �Later, there were other
things, better things, to resent her for. But I could not break the ties of
blood. I still had to live with her. I still had to obey her. I still had to
subdue my resentment and pretend that I could smile.�

�� Harry
swallowed. �So, did you ever start feeling that you loved her? Or was that
something you only felt until she strangled the kitten?�

�� There were
moments,� Narcissa said, her voice barely audible. �Moments when she touched my
shoulder or admired my gowns, or told me that I was certainly the prettiest and
cleverest of her daughters.� She touched her shoulder now as if she could feel
the echoes of that long-ago caress. �Of course, with such competition as
Bellatrix and Andromeda, the compliment was not as great as it would have been
in some other families.�

�� Draco hid a
smile. He knew his mother, and he knew that she valued her mother�s words more
than she would show.

�� But you felt
that way sometimes,� Harry said. �And you managed to live with her even though
you hated her most of the time.�

�� Narcissa
nodded to him. �That is correct.�

��

�� Then maybe
I can live with this,� Harry muttered, wrapping his arms around himself. He did
it as if he had never had anyone to hug him and never expected to have anyone.

�� Draco
stepped forwards impulsively and embraced Harry. He made a startled sound and
tried to jump away, but Draco�s grip was too firm for that. Harry sighed after
a minute and rested his head on Draco�s shoulder. �I�m only doing this because
you won�t let me go,� he whispered.

�� Draco
shivered because of the way Harry�s breath touched his ear. �Of course,� he
whispered back.

�� Harry stood
there and let Draco hold him for five minutes before pushing at his shoulders.
Draco let him go reluctantly. His arms seemed to have been made to fit the
shapes of Harry�s shoulders, his hands meant to rest along his ribs and stroke
back and forth. The only thing better would have been if he was touching bare
skin.

�� The shock
of the thought made Draco pause. But moments later, it no longer seemed
strange, and he could mumble a response to Harry�s farewell and watch him in
only a slight daze as he left the hospital wing.

�� Well, so now I know what I want. I think
most of me knew it before. I just hadn�t put it in those words.

�� He stirred
and looked back at his mother, who was watching him with a small, knowing
smile. Draco coughed and hoped he wasn�t blushing. �Why did you tell him about
that?� he asked, to distract himself, and, he hoped, her. �You�ve never even
told me that story, and you said once
that you didn�t share memories of the family outside the family, because it
could make them look bad.�

�� He saved
my life,� his mother said quietly, lying back. �And he was connected to my
cousin Sirius and he killed my sister, so he is entitled to know something
about the Blacks.� Draco blinked; for some reason, that sounded strange, even
though it wouldn�t ordinarily. I�m still
kind of hearing with Harry�s ears, I think. �And I can see what�s right in
front of my eyes,� Narcissa continued. �He came to you for reassurance, not his
friends. He allowed you to hug him, far longer than he has ever allowed his
little friends to do so that I have seen. He protects you. He values you. I
know where this will end.�

�� Draco knew he flushed this time, but he
decided that he could be mature and acknowledge reality, since his mother had.
He leaned in with some dignity to kiss her cheek. �Thank you,� he murmured.

�� Narcissa�s
hand closed on his. Draco looked at her in surprise and saw that her eyes were
bright. It was the closest she had come to tears since her rescue.

�� Your
father was never happy enough,� she whispered. �He took much of his pleasure in
tormenting others. He relied on them too much, for relief and satisfaction and
adoration and fear. Try to have your happiness in yourself, Draco. I want you
to be happy.�

�� Draco
didn�t know any words that could respond to a wish like that, so he simply
squeezed her hand back.

�� And if he
thought about Harry with a little more complacency and smugness and yearning
after that, well, it was only natural.

*

�� SP777: I
think Harry would be pleased by that, but not as much as he used to be, since
he knows now that his mother was capable of some pretty crappy things.

�� Harry�s
guard is back up now.

�� yenbd: I think Harry always would have suffered from this
to some extent or another, even if Snape had never found out. But Snape should
try to have some more patience, and above all, it�s probably important that he
not touch Harry until he�s sure that he can control himself.

�� k lave
demo: At the very least, I think Harry would have been less reluctant to acknowledge
this blood tie with a better prior relationship. Almost anything would have been
better than what he and Snape had had.

�� Narcissa
picked it up first, as you see.

�� DTDY: Thank
you!

�� ladyicondraco: I think that Snape probably regrets getting
involved in the war most of all.

�� MewMew2:
That�s an interesting idea.

�� Thrnbrooke: Here it is.

�� Dezra: The events of this chapter will force Snape even
further into reconsideration of his own perspective. At least now he knows his
emotions are just as tangled as Harry�s and he can�t expect to act as the voice
of pure reason.
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Practicing Liars